it’s been a while since i’ve given an update: but i’ve completed another chapter of shattered skies

honestly it’s been finished for a while now but i’ve been dragging my feet with editing and drawing a chapter post but i really wanna update it soon

Ben Hardy x Singer!Reader headcannons

N/A: Hi, this is my first time posting headcannons (or anything, really), so go easy on me. I wanted this to be longer but I ran out of ideas, lmao, if u want a second part I can write it , tho, just ask for it <3 comments, likes and reblogs are greatly apreciated!!

you have made a name for yourself acting in various tv shows, mostly as a guest actress, and some big movies

but as much as you love acting, your true passion was always singing, so you start writing and composing some songs

a year later, you’re looking for an actor to participate on your video 

(you think you’ll get more attention to your music that way)

so one day you’re watching bohemian rhapsody with your friends and you observe ben carefully in every scene

he’s an great actor 

(and v handsome, not that that matters…)

you ask your manager to contact him but ben seems a little reluctant to work on the video, so you decide to ask him personally

he accepts to have lunch with you

ben’s really nice and relaxed, funny even

tbh not something you really were expecting bc he was… well,, he was very good looking and had player a playboy rockstar recently

a part of you kind of expects that ben’s roles maybe were up his head but of you were really happy that he seemed to have his feet firmly planted on the ground

“why did you called me, y/n? not that i’m complaining”

“i’m going to be honest, ben, i haven’t seen all of your stuff, but i’ve seen you on bo rhap and you were great, so i’d really really like for you to, you know, act on my new video”

“you have any ideas on what do you want to film?”

“a few actually”

ben was impressed by your creativity and enthusiasm and passion

anyone would have said that he was looking at you with heart eyes but whatever

so he accepts 

the two days of filming are quite fun and he gets to know you a little 

also he’s kind of enamoured by… well, by you basically

and you keep in contact once you’re done through messages, some occasional dinner and sometimes calls

since the video hasn’t been released yet there’s some rumours you’re dating

(and i mean,, don’t you wish?)

but there’s a few leaked pics of you both on the set of the mv and you say it’s all for work so the rumor isn’t as strong as it was in the beginning

it’s strange to talk with him so much bc you met him only a month ago but some things just are meant to be and you don’t question your growing friendship with him

almost two months after the video for your single is released and it has ton of visits and comments, everyone is talking about you!!

(also some fans lowkey ship you with ben)

so one or two days after, ben calls you

“hey, what if we-uh-go to have dinner to celebrate?”

you’re kind of surprised by it tbh

“you know what? no, that’s a excuse. i’d like you to go on a date with me”

your smile is real big bc w o w ben’s asking you out and he sounds nervous and he’s so cute ohmygod

so,, date night,, he’s wearing a nice white shirt and jeans and it’s simple but he looks so good

and ben,, well, he’s enchanted by how beautiful you look

everything goes great, it feels like any other time you hanged out with him

except when he leaves you home bc instead of the usual timid kiss on the cheek, he whispers “can i kiss you?”

and you’re a little breathless bc he’s real close and his baby blue eyes are staring at you and you feel a little overwhelmed for the butterflies on your stomach

you can’t believe he’s making you feel BUTTERFLIES ON YOUR STOMACH like some teenager girl in love

ofc you say yes and he leans and cradles your face with his hands and connects your lips gently and it’s so sWEET UGH MY HEART

you never want to stop

sadly, he pulls away

“tonight was good. thank you” you say with a smile

is smile is just as big as yours. “it really was, wasn’t it? maybe we could repeat it”

this boy hasn’t come to play any game, huh? 

“i’d like that. good night, ben”

“good night, y/n”

it’s meme time

How long have you been roleplaying? okay so by technical definition I would say since roughly 2010. I started dabbling in it around 2009, when I discovered a forum for people who wrote as Warrior Cat ocs. I had never had any experience and was doing it all wrong probably but I had tons of fun. Then I had a friend who I knew from middle school who had a Peter Pan twitter that was interacting with other characters and was like hey I wanna do that!! From there it went to Starkid’s Draco Malfoy to actual Draco Malfoy to Lily Evans, and I would say that she really started what I would consider rping for me.

What are your hobbies outside of writing? Not...much? I watch youtube videos. I play video games sometimes. Writing has been such an integral part of my life since I was able to string sentences together on a page and it’s something I’ve literally always wanted to do with my life, so even when I’m not writing on tumblr I’m working on my own personal stuff.

Do you have any pets? Tell us about them! I have three! My dog Copper and my cats Minerva and Tinkerbell. Copper we’ve had since Feb 2010 and we adopted him shortly after I finished a trumpet solo district competition. He’s lived in two different states and is ten years old by now. Minerva is five years old, and we got her from a neighbor when her mother’s cat had kittens. She’s not super social and doesn’t like people unless they’re my mom or she’s in heat, but I still love her. Tinkerbell is a year old and is the most adorable demon. One minute she’s on my lap and purring and the next she’s tearing apart the carpeting in front of my bathroom.

If you had a month of free time to learn to do something new, what would you choose? I would like to do something athletic. But I’m the kind of person where I hate not being good at something right away, so it would be a struggle. It’s why I’m not a very athletic person to begin with.  Or something creative that I haven’t tried yet, like knitting or something. But again, not being good at something right away puts me off trying. 

Do you listen to music while you write? What are three songs on your playlist? It depends? I get really distracted. Not by the noise, per say, but by the music. I always need to find the perfect song and spend more time thinking about that than about the writing. I do, however, have a playlist dedicated to Dove and Luke’s Christmas engagement that yes, is mostly Frank Sinatra Christmas songs. 

What’s a favorite recent youtube video/channel? my Youtube tastes are all over the place tbh. Over the past year my subscription feed has had a complete overhaul. I’ve been watching jacksfilms since high school, but my current faves are GameGrumps, jacksepticeye, Drew Gooden, Kurtis Conner, Danny Gonzales. I also watch a lot of Buzzfeed Unsolved and Dead Meat which is horror based. Plus I am COMPLETELY obsessed with Defunctland (and Defuncttv) and Yesterworld. They’re super informative and interesting if you’re a big nerd for theme parks and Disney history.

Tell us one random fact about you! I used to be a band kid! I did concert band for four years and the rise in band content on tik tok makes me miss it sometimes. I know I wouldn’t be any good anymore since I kept having to do basic beginning things because of the nature of my later band classes and I haven’t really played in ten years and my sister’s boyfriend has my trumpets, but I do miss it.

Who is an FC you’ve always wanted to use but haven’t yet? oof honestly I do not know? I’ve never seen an fc in the distance and thought soon because I always try to take opportunities to play FCs where I can. I would love to play more male fcs though. I’m not good at guys in rp and I really want to try to challenge myself to try one of these days.

What’s a plot you’ve always wanted to write but haven’t yet? this is a tough one! Longevity in rp means that I’ve done tons of plots over the years. As far as fiction rps (not celeb based) I’m interested in doing a Youtber type character, or a washed up celeb character. I write a lot of home grown, townie type characters and I’ve never written someone in that position.

Do you have a favorite plot you’ve seen someone else in the group do I loved the ‘whoops we got married in Vegas’ plot for @evanpeaters​​ and @goodlourd​​. It’s the perfect kinda slow burn that’s so subtle it’s incredible. 

Who on the dash makes you smile? everyoooneee. You’re all so lovely and getting to write with you over the past year and a half has been a privilege. 

What is your favorite memory in the group? Again, it’s just been meeting all of the incredible people here. Staying up late and talking and laughing about plots and things when it is way past my bedtime are the parts of rp that I enjoy the most and it’s always so special finding people to bond with in that way. I’ve been in groups where I feel like I’m sitting on the outside so being able to sit within the circle and feel like I’m part of something special where I’ve met some of my closest friends is so nice.

What’s your favorite thing about your celeb(s)? Each of the women I play are equal parts silly and determined. They are able to make fun of themselves and be loose and goofy while still standing up for things that they believe in and opening up about things that they are passionate about. It’s something I hope to emulate in my every day life because I know I take myself far too seriously. 

What’s a plot you miss? I kinda miss AJ and Michael, because tbh anything @hqnessa​​ and I write together is pure magic, and it was so unexpected and out of left field that I miss being able to look at the future of that.

What would you love to see this group do in the future? As far as events, I like when there’s different locations besides the usual tropical island. It feels more laid back and I like that kinda vibe

In an effort to not spam the dash. I wrote all these at 4 am so they may not make sense. Go find your section underneath:

( @sacredtempest , @sparrowofthesands , @hacion , @tidal-wanderer , @fxlgurkinesis , @hugefy-me / @darkseraphscorner​ )

sacredtempest:

You’re a nerd, ilu. Your support of me over the years has been a blessing and the fact that even though we RP less ( kind of? D&D hype-! ) we’re still chums is... well, it’s nice. Even though your dreams of Fieram being a real boy scare me. :T But your creative mind and your unique aesthetic taste is something that shines through, as is your sass.

Listen, the octagonal house still doesn’t make sense, okay. It doesn’t.

Not a lot I can say to someone I spend 3 hours with a week and sometimes talk to late into the night as well. You’ve seen my lows and my highs, and we’re still riding this ride. Thumbs up. You’re pretty hella. 

sparrowofthesands: 

dang dude that’s a lotta hearts. So listen, even though we don’t RP a ton together, you’re someone I see as consistently decent. And so while I appreciate your support of me ( a whole bunch, seeing you be like ‘tall sona is good sona’ is delightful ), I also really appreciate that I can kind of count on you to just be a decent person. Not a perfect person, not a saint-like person, but a decent human being. Someone who tries to help others, cheers them on, etc etc- I’m always hoping for the continued success of your charity streams. The ‘outward looking’ attitude you have is really nice. You’re good people, trying to do what you can in the way that you can. It’s cool stuff. Also being the ‘beach episode’ to your ‘zombie apocalypse’ was pretty fun, honestly. I still cackle at it. ( Also your other blogs are pretty cool too )

hacion:

me, having flashbacks to the 5 part saga of our characters and their friendship, cool dancing moment ( still an all time favorite for moments with a lot of depth ), betrayal. Also your strong inspiration for my own portrayal of ‘Lista... I weep. So good. You were my benchmark.

Listen I think you’re pretty great. I’ve known you since you were a little sproutling, but having reconnected with you now? It’s been so good to hear about you spreading your wings ( or branches, for the sake of the analogy ). and to see you grow as a person. A couple years ago, I had the distinct feeling that you were someone that I ought to just... hope for the best for. That you were really on your way, and all on your own, you’d end up being amazing - I just had to do my duty as your older friend and watch ( and give a thumbs up whenever you looked my way ). Maybe that was arrogant or condescending of me. I dunno. But!

You did. You’re pretty amazing. You’re doing great things, but you’ve also grown a lot. You seem... not only more mature, but more confident in yourself, but you haven’t lost sight of yourself and the things that are important to you. You still seem as genuine as ever. I can’t put my finger on it but, talking to you now...

I’m just happy for you. It feels like watching the neighborhood kids grow up. I always have your back if you need it, you know I’m in your corner if you ever need anything. Oh and ofc, thank you for your kind words and I’m glad you approve of my various portrayals :^)

Also we should talk about my revamped OC except superhero because someone needs to bug Helen.

tidal-wanderer:

First of all, obviously, thank you. Second of all, Peachieeeeeeeeeeee...

Aaaaah. Really, thank you. For you to approve of my So/na means a heck of a lot ( I still remember the So/na server w/ you & Tea and a bunch of other people tbh ). 

Third of all, let me just say that I adore your interpretation of Nemnems. You mix a curiosity into poise that works delightfully well, and it’s a treat to just keep an eye on. Also, since I have a moment to say it - I’m glad you’re finding new comfort zones and setting boundaries more. Seeing you stick up for yourself more- It’s just good. It’s good to see that because it also feels like, ‘wow ok I’m not the only one, I’m not being a petty complainer’. Anyway all of this is meant to really mean ‘I appreciate you’, because I think you’re pretty delightful. I hope we can stay cool mutuals / peeps in the future and if you ever need someone to wave a flag of support, I gotchu. Anyway, bottom line: Dang, you’re neat, and thank you. 

fxlgurkinesis :

You are so fucking nice I almost can’t believe it, what the heck.

Okay let me rewind that. First. Thanks! Writing with you is an absolute blast, you’re real neat to talk to, and the angst we pour into everything is pretty A+. Also tearing out your heart with cosmic Ori content heheheheh. I’m glad you like our interactions and also that So/na is neato to you.

Okay now it’s compliment time again. So I repeat, what the heck. So, before your hiatus, I did kinda skulk around and cheer from afar and sometimes send you nice asks but... I mean, we didn’t know each other. Ofc. The strange thing was that everyone seemed to be absolutely thrilled with you. ‘Oh but that’s just because I’m popular for some reason?’ No no no no. Nope. I mean everyone was thrilled by you. I’ve never heard anyone say anything bad about you ever to the point where I went “ok so is this person a literal angel or what?”

Turns out you’re a literal angel.

It is so unbelievably rare to, unprompted, hear someone say nice things about another person. It just is. While people love to talk to each other and talk about various things going on, it’s rare for someone to mention an outside party and take the time to just praise them for no reason. It doesn’t really happen... Except when you’re involved, apparently. No joke. I can mention it without revealing who said nice things about you but- Really, that’s a sign that you’re spectacular.

And I agree. You’re super easy to talk to but I can also trust that you’re genuine and I hope you don’t ever feel pushed around by me! That and you just taking the time to talk to me even though we didn’t know each other much when I was struggling, your constant support.

Just.

Heck. You’re great and you should know it. 

hugefy-me:

Listen. Well, first of all: Hey thank you. That you like me writing is pretty darn rad.

Okay now listen. Listen, listen, listen- There’s such a small space to exist in that is simultaneously serious and silly without toppling so far in either direction that it becomes impossible to recenter. Too much silly and you won’t be taken seriously, and vice versa.

Somehow, somehow, you’ve managed the astounding feat of writing Lu/lu ( bless her heart ) as both of these things and still maintained a balance somehow. She can be both serious and silly and people don’t double take or misread her. And you’ve done that while also setting up ‘sunday traps’. 

Huh? It’s genius, right? It really is some kind of incomprehensible genius that puts your Lu/lu in such a unique position.So, let me also say that I so appreciate your portrayal. Not only for this weird balance, but for the refreshing cheer it brings to my dash - it really just seems like you’re having fun, and that’s so nice to see. You’re a delightful presence on the dash and also sorry for getting tired / running out of time and dropping small interaction threads with you literally constantly.

cutmystrxngs:

haha I’m pretty cool aren’t I. nice job, me. 

Update

Hey y’all! <3

I’m just writing a quick update for you since I’ve been really quiet and not posting or updating a ton recently.

Sorry for being so awol in the last few months; I feel like I’m normally quite present online and stuff and I feel I reply to stuff pretty fast and all that jazz but I know I’ve really lacked in being that version of Night for a while. I’ve got a bunch of messages in my inbox that are real simple asks but I just... haven’t gotten around to answering... so yeah, it hasn’t been intentional. I just... haven’t.

There’s no actual reason or anything for my inactivity. I suppose I have been fairly busy at work but no more than usual tbh. Mostly, I have had a bit of writer’s block and have just been doing other things and not forcing myself to write when the creative mood isn’t there which I have a habit of doing. But, I have just been taking some time for myself and being way more relaxed with posting and stuff. I know there are some people who have asked about my current fics and I hope this little post helps to set y’all at ease.

And it’s not even just from the writing aspect. I haven’t been regularly updating my dickkory blog either which I want to change as well. I see great stuff pop up in the dickkory tag and I keep forgetting to reblog it to the dk blog so fingers crossed, I’ll start RBing stuff as soon as I see it.

Also, it’s not just a tumblr thing btw. I have been a bit vacant on here, yea but I haven’t been like... making up for it on discord or anything. I’ve been pretty absent on there too, rarely jumping into the server conversations I am apart of. I only really tend to reply to individual DM’s lately. 

As for specifics, I’m really blocked with Subscribe atm. I’ve just got to a bit in the chapter and I’m just... stumped. Not because Idk what I’m writing but because my brain just cant compute so I’ve just paused on it until I feel a bit more creative. I know that I’m technically really behind on updates for Subscribe since the last time I posted a chapter was like... September time? Maybe? Oops. 

I’m feeling more in tune with my writing side in the last couple weeks so I really hope to start getting more of that posted, once I get past this weird hurdle in Subscribe.

As for Bound, it’s taken a bit of a back burner since I am meticulous with that fic. It’s my literary child and I don’t want to rush a chapter just for the sake of posting something. I want to get the next chapter done and feel proud of it.

I have so many fic ideas in my head and jotted down in like 12 different notebooks around my room lmao. It’s so hard because I want to write it all like NOW but obvs cannot. XD

But, starting from the new year, I am gonna be trying to update regularly on a schedule again because I feel sad when I don’t post and when I don’t write because that’s like... my main hobby. 

As I say, recently, I have just felt burnt out with a serious writers block. This week, I took a step away and wrote something entirely new just for me, to be able to have a blank canvas before inevitably going back to the fics I am working on.

I feel refreshed and I really want to write again because I miss it.

Lastly, thanks to followers, friends and readers who are still seemingly very interested in my fics, despite me being such a lazy bum with them.

Anywho - Thought I would just write an update so you guys know where I’m at!

Thanks for reading this and I hope you all have a great Christmas!! <3

~ Night 

Ho ho hoooeello I'm back again! Don't worry about it

What do you like to do during the holidays season? Have you done anything holiday-related yet? Now that it's officially December, I will start decorating my home soon. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of time, since I have a lot of exams right before christmas! I haven't watched a lot of movies lately, though I always mean to. Aside from OUAT, some of my favourite shows are Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Schitt's Creek, the good place, Jane the Virgin & One day at a time! [2/? - I LIED]

We usually watch whatever is on, but I've seen home alone a lot of times! I'm really looking forward to heading home this holiday season and to having a traditional dinner with my grandparents (My grandfather prepares the main course & he is a great cook). I also love listening to Christmas songs! Do you have any favourties?. As for you gift, my creative talents mostly lie in writing, so I'll be preparing a fic for you! Are you more the fluffy or angsty type? Any tropes? [3/3] love, Santa

Hi, Santa!!

My mom and I decorated the house already and finally finished decorating our tree last night:

(This is my kitty cat Killian’s first Christmas with us, so we had to be more careful about which/how many ornaments we put near the bottom.)

I switched my stuffed animals on my headboard in my bedroom to my Christmas/wintry ones too (plus a turkey for Thanksgiving that I haven’t switched yet lol):

Good luck on your exams!! Are you in school or college? What do you study? (Or are you a teacher/professor with exams to give?)

My grandma has been watching the Hallmark movies that have been on tv every night since before Thanksgiving and I’ve kind of been vaguely watching along, though with some recent personal circumstances I won’t expand on right now, I’m finding more frustration than enjoyment from most of them for a few reasons, so I tend to end up putting on headphones instead.

I love The Good Place but I’m so behind right now. I’ve been meaning to check out One Day at a Time, it’s on my long list of things I should probably watch at some point (*John Mulaney voice* and then I Didn’t), and I want to give B99 a try but I don’t have a way to watch it at the moment.

A traditional dinner with family sounds awesome! My parents always cook a ham and sides, and my grandparents on my mom’s side always came to our house for the day, but they live with us now (for a year as of November) so they’re already here, which is nice lol. My brother is married now, so he and my sister-in-law come over too. With the things going on, I’m not sure what this Christmas is going to look like, but that’s what we usually do at least.

I’m excited to bake cookies, but my grandfather has diabetes and his blood-sugar has been a little high lately (partly because of the Thanksgiving food, but I think he’s been sneaking candy or chips too), so I’m putting off baking until that’s under control again. He’s all or nothing with sweets, eats too many and has problems, then gets mad when we ask him to hold back a bit and complains as if he can’t have any at all, instead of just having a small amount every so often rather than a ton all at once like we suggest. I’m gonna keep that temptation away for a while, unless I get a long enough time to make some before he comes in the kitchen so I can hide them, but he just knows. lol

Most years, I’m the kind of person to start Christmas songs in the summer or at least October lol. Not so much these past few years, but I still enjoy them in the season. While we decorate, my parents always play Alabama’s Christmas albums first, and then whatever else until we’re done. (This year I chose Peter Hollens’s Christmas album and Jason Manns’s Christmas album featuring Supernatural cast members, and then my grandpa played the Rudolph soundtrack.) I love Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas” (the song and the movie), Straight No Chaser’s “The Christmas Can-Can” and “The 12 Days of Christmas,” and tbh I think my favorite version of “The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)” is the one on the Phineas and Ferb Holiday Favorites album (and everything else on it is great too imo). I also love “Oh Santa” from VeggieTales. I pretty much enjoy most Christmas music though. Do you have any favorites?

I will very gladly receive a fic!! I’m open to pretty much anything, just preferably not smut (or at least not super explicit/detailed smut) unless that’s what you prefer to write, just because I try to keep my blog fairly pg/pg-13 most of the time other than some cursing and I want to be able to reblog whatever you give me. Fluff and angst are both more than welcome though, even also whump to some degree. Canon-divergent, au, anything. Lieutenant Duckling, Captain Duckling, Dark Ones, reversed roles, idk all the variation names, Neverland, Underworld, modern, coffee shop, roommates, neighbors, sci-fi, supernatural, band, parent, super sweet domesticity, total angst-fest, nightmares, torture, whatever. It’s all good. I will happily read whatever you write!

1394.

What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? i have a really low spice tolerance so EVERYTHING is spicy to me. however, i did the ‘world’s hottest chip’ challenge and was dying for the next half hour lol. When was the last time you had a real deep chat? a couple days ago. i had a mini meltdown. Who did you last see on webcam? no idea, i haven’t done that in forever. What brand was the last cigarette you smoked? winfield. Have you ever been to a rehab center? no.

Have you ever discovered something gross in your food at McDonalds? thankfully no. What’s your favorite flavor of ramen? either chicken or beef. tbh i’m never bothered to try any other flavours. Do you like Britney Spears’ music? when i was younger, hell yes. i’ll always love her but i’ve sorta outgrown her music, especially the new stuff.

What’s your favorite Johnny Depp movie? meh idk. the only one that i could think of was what’s eating gilbert’s grape. Do you like pumpkin pie? i feel like i’ve tried it maybe once. it was okay. What is your least favorite thing about your full name? nothing really... maybe that people always ask how to spell it? Besides your computer, what else is cluttering your desk? i don’t have a proper study desk anymore. i converted it into a makeup table/vanity. Why is your worst enemy your worst? haha i don’t believe i have one. What was the last thing you used sliced bread to make? a sandwich. What do you really think about where you live? it was a great place to grow up, everything was new, it’s a quiet neighbourhood and there’s a ton of parks/lakes/playgrounds. however, it’s a predominately white population so i won’t lie i’ve went through my fair share of racism. How long did your shortest relationship last? i’ve only been in one relationship. Would you rather have a trampoline or swimming pool? a pool duhhhh. What do you like to put in your tea? two sugars and a dash of milk. Do you own any television series box sets? i do but they’re basically untouched since streaming became a thing. Have you ever spent the night in jail? no. Do you handle pain well? it depends. usually. Do you own a Snuggie? no. Do you have Netflix? of course i do! Have you ever been to a strip club? nope. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? either just normal buttered or caramel.

How did you get your worst scar? i got bitten by a dog. How do you like your steak? medium rare. Cup ½ empty or ½ full? full. Favorite flower? peonies. What is the most recent make up purchase you’ve made? tarte shape tape. heard soooo many good things about it so i finally bought it. haven’t used it enough to judge though. What kind of pictures do you post on Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat most frequently? food lmao. or me and my friends. Do you remember the first person you felt sexually attracted to? aladdin hahahaha. Have you ever been on vacation with a significant other? yes. many times. If you are in a relationship (or in your last relationship), how many times have you considered leaving? a handful of times tbh. it’d be so hard to get over but i’ve seriously considered our future and i’m still uncertain about it. Is there anything on your bucket list that you’re hoping to cross off soon? not really tbh. Of all of your friends’ significant others, who do you get along with best? And least? jess. the least.... not sure actually. oh, my boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend lmao. What would your life be like if you had married your first love? i’m still with my first love. What is the most difficult or time-consuming thing you’ve ever cooked? Would you make it again? hmmm. honestly i’m not the best cook haha. i think the most time consuming thing i’ve tried making is an entire soul food dinner. fried chicken, green beans, biscuits, mash etc.  Have you ever had a platonic friend that everyone insisted you should be in a relationship with? no. Is there anything about a person’s sexual past that might stop you from wanting to date them? yeah i guess. it really depends what it is. If someone asked your closest friends/family members what career path might suit you best, what do you think they would say? something creative, which is what i originally studied. Have you ever considered “unplugging”/taking a significant period of time away from technology? honestly...no. lol.

DWTS Season 27 Cast Write Up and Unwanted Thoughts

Okay! So now that everyone is known, let’s do this list so people can have a basic ass write up of who they are. Also, when reading these, please keep in mind WHO the GP is. Mainly, white, middle aged, conservative women from Middle America, OKAY!

Nikki & Gleb: Nikki is a stand-up comedian. She is best known for her now cancelled sex show, stints on Inside Amy Schumer and her sex podcast. She is political and raunchy. She was on the Roast of Rob Lowe and the Roast of Bruce Willis. Otherwise? No clue about her. She is paired with Gleb. Like do we really need to say more about him.

Alexis & Alan: Alexis is a Maxim & Sports Illustrated model and a “social influencer”. She has a huge IG following, but that is what she is known for. She is an Instagram model. That’s it. However, she is paired with Alan. Alan is one of the male pros who has been killing it. On top of that, Alexis does have some redeeming background stories that can really touch people if done correctly.

Evanna & Keo: Evanna is known solely from Harry Potter. She is Looney Luna Lovegood, which I want to applaud the DWTS Social Team. While we all stared at “we’re not gonna lie” the REAL hint was “we LOVE how GOOD”. ANYWAYS. She has the HP Fandom vote, she is a little thing and she is young. That video shows she has some serious potential. IF Keo can actually choreograph the way he should, they have some potential.

Tinashe & Brandon: This is the one pairing I am confused about. I fully expected Val with her. ANYWAY. Tinashe honestly is unknown in most households. Unless you are a 16-21 year old, not many people know her. The only thing you even hear about her recently is shit about Kendall Jenner and her ex. Her most recent album was supposedly canceled by RCA Records. Yet she has some followers. And the newest pro with no real fan-base attached to him yet, which will be a hindrance. But she has some training so that will help. But always remember, being a top dancer does NOT mean you are going to win, especially if you don’t connect with the GP.

Mary Lou & Sasha: an 80’s Icon. The first american gymnast to win an all around gold medal. an 80’s Icon. While I know there are some problematic things, MOST viewers of this show do not. They have no idea she tried to block a bill. And honestly, I don’t know if they will care. She is paired with my least favorite pro, but a lot of people do like him a lot.

Nancy & Val: Another 80’s Icon. Facts of Life star.  With the Favorite Male pro. I don’t really need to say a damn thing because she will be there for a couple weeks at least.

Danelle & Artem: The inspiring BLIND Paralympian. She is BLIND. Like holy crap. Granted, she is paired with Artem and we have NO idea how he will do with her. But she could be extremely inspirational.

Milo & Witney: Milo is a Disney actor. In a movie called Zombies? Also he is Camryn Manheim’s son, who I love. But he’s a cute kid, but he is also who the hell is he without a google search? If Wit keeps her choreography he might be decent.

Demarcus & Lindsay: He is a football player, from America’s Team (gah I just gagged typing that. I hate the Cowgirls). Football players have done exceptionally well, however we have had a TON of football players and people on Facebook are still mad because “there weren’t supposed to be any athletes this season!!!” BUT he is paired with Lindsay, and she is by and far one of the best choreographer on this show anymore tbh.

John & Emma: An 80’s fan favorite. Bo Duke from Dukes of Hazard. Also Superman's dad in Smallville. Wouldn’t say he is an Icon but like, 70s & 80’s babies know him well. Had some trouble with the law lately, but the GP still knows him. He has Emma. Emma is compassionate and knows how to work with the older guys. I honestly don’t know HOW he will do.

Juan Pablo & Cheryl: Latin singer and actor on Fuller House. He’s attractive and Latin and can dance. He hasn’t been in anything else that is big but he’s been around for awhile and he is sexy. He’s danced on Fuller House and did real well. He is with the OG pro who people still love. I don’t know much else about him but I bet he has some serious staying power.

Joe & Jenna: Joe is a bachelor contestant. He doesn’t have a wiki page so like….I don’t know. He was a first night elimination on Becca’s season, but is on Bachelor in Paradise with a Kendall chick, who apparently dumped him on the season finale but also they are still together? Idk I don’t watch those shows and it confuses me. I went through 3 pages of Google search for this dude and have only learned he is hot, he is a grocer (or his parents are? Idk) and people are upset about him and Kendall. BUT he is with the reigning champion, so we shall see.

Bobby & Sharna: Bobby has a nationally syndicated radio show on iHeartRadio. He is also now the creative director of iHeartRadio. He is a best selling author, tours with his own sell out stand-up show. Has been on Idol, which is probably where he was approached to do this show tbh. I don’t know how he will dance, I haven’t seen it. But he has a really good story that can connect to people and is a funny dude. He is also paired with Shar who people desperately want to win.

At this point, it can go just about any way. I don’t want to do a prediction but I can if we think I should and then compare how well I did at the end of the season. Or bestie and I both can because let’s be honest, she is really freaking accurate.

1, 2, 4-11, 13-18, 20-22, 24, 25, 27-35, 37-48, 50 👍💕💖

holy shit alex

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

my first fic was altea rising and yes i’d still reread it today bc 1) i’m still writing it lmao, 2) i only started it two years ago dkfdj

2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come?

if we’re not counting fic updates i guess the most recent thing i finished was my piece for @extrasolarzine (WHICH I’M GONNA FINALLY POST A PREVIEW OF THIS WEEK...AAH)!! and well, again i’ve only been writing fic for a couple years but...hmm idk, i mean this piece is very action-y and that’s something i used to have very little confidence about, so i’d like to think that’s something i’ve improved upon! 

4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?

ha i mean i know for a fact that “if the silence was a song” is my most popular fic both in terms of hits/kudos....it also seems to be the one people rec the most and the one i most often get the reaction of “wait, YOU wrote that??” sdkfjd

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

answered!

6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?

nah not really, i’m pretty happy with all my fics lol...i guess there’s parts of them that could be better but none of them make me like Truly Embarrassed

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

answered!

8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

i guess it’s altea rising since i haven’t updated it in like three months haha, but uhh don’t worry it’s coming! (as in i’m super close to Finally finishing a draft of the next chapter heh heh)

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

nope! i’ve only written fic for voltron 

10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?

also no....i binge-read a ton of voltron fics the summer it came out and then started a fic of my own! 

11. Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting?

i figure everything has been done before in one way or another so that’s something i try not to sweat it too much about. i try to be original, but there’s also a lot of popular tropes i like so it’s fun to take those and try to make them my own somehow!

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

answered!

14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?

i’m not sure if this refers to reading or writing fic but...i guess in general i’m a lot pickier now than i was at the beginning of the fandom?? like i remember at the beginning i’d just kinda read whatever was popular but over time i’ve developed a much better sense of what i will and won’t like lol, and i p much only read things written by friends and/or rec’d to me by friends. 

15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular?

not really?? in fact i seem to gravitate more towards my super long complicated aus even knowing they’re not gonna gain as much attention lol.

16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention?

no i’m a masochist so i continue writing the aforementioned super long complicated aus even when it feels like i’m just dropkicking updates into the void lmao. but tbh even if literally no one was reading my multichap fics i’d probs still write them bc they’re fun to write and i love them a lot, so!!

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

ha i mean, again i like all my fics and i’m happy i wrote them all but...i guess probably “a truth in the blood”? dgmw i still like that one a lot and i’m glad a lot of people enjoyed it, i’m just not as like emotionally attached to it as i am to my other fics (probs cuz i wrote it in like two weeks haha). 

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

ummm i’d say it’s defo “the stars are bound to change.” idk man like i really poured my soul into that one and it’s so rare someone tells me it’s their fave....i have this particular soft spot for it that whenever someone tells me they love that one i’m like *SOBS*...THANK YOU.

20. Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down?

probably not?? there’s some things i’d probs change a bit in some of my fics but there’s nothing that i would rewrite completely.

21. If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs?

i gotta admit i don’t think i’ve ever done that...? i usually don’t start looking at someone’s fics unless they’ve been rec’d to me or like unless we’ve become friends and i then find out they write fic.

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?

answered!

24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?

i’ve never gotten a truly mean review really. *knocks on wood* i think the only slightly negative one i can think of off the top of my head was someone who complained about the end of “the stars are bound to change” and said it was too abrupt but...i don’t think they intended it to be super malicious or anything, and like, i get it bc i wasn’t 100% happy with the ending either. but oh well can���t win ‘em all. 

25. What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review?

again i haven’t really gotten much negativity or criticism in comments so uh...*shrugs* and i’m p good at taking constructive criticism i was a creative writing major sdkdj

27. If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick?

i’ve only ever written single-fandom fics and don’t have a desire to ever write a crossover fic so lol. 

28. if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick?

i mean i guess voltron bc it’s the only fandom i’ve written fic for anyway and klance still owns my ass, so... 

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

....i only read/write voltron fic pretty much so uh n/a haha

30. Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one?

again i’ve only written voltron fic and yeah i’m still writing it even though i’m not watching the show anymore. what can i say, a bitch loves klance and that bitch is me!! 

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

answered!

34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?

also answered!

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

not that i can think of...there’s been a couple times i’ve decided partway through a fic to include some side-pairing later on in the background, but it’s not really unintentional, just that i didn’t plan on it from the beginning. 

37. Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic?

i wouldn’t say “bashed” per se but uh i do often really stress on shiro & keith having a brotherly relationship although that’s more out of the fear of people interpreting it the wrong way... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why?

i....no. why would i do that?? dlkfjdk

39. Do you consider yourself to have a readership?

a sort of small one but yeah! 

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

yes and no...i write a lot but it’s mostly just piling more and more into my multichaps. kinda wish i wrote more short oneshots but oh well.

41. If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site?

i only post on ao3 so yeah.

42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten?

“if the silence was a song” with 23,744 hits whew!! 

43. Your least popular?

“a million little pieces” (the fic i wrote for lancito) it only has 349 hits rip.... (i mean it’s a gen fic and only like 2k words long so i get it but sdlkfjd)

44. Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received?

i’m a little confused by the wording of this lol, but uh if i’m understanding the question correctly...i think it’s about even? although tbh i’ve been slacking a lot in my fic reading lately, but in general i try to support other fic authors as much as i can! 

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

answered!

46. Do you consider yourself a diverse author?

i’m not sure if this means like in terms of diverse content/genres or in terms of like character diversity but i’d like to say yes to both?? i like moving around between different genres, also i care a lot about character diversity and representation so yeah! 

47. If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

i mean this has happened to me before and i’m like “sure lol.” it depends on the person but probs i would have them read “a million little pieces” or maybe “a truth in the blood” since those are the shortest and uhhh the least shippy lol. 

48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?

yeah i’m an annoying bitch who can’t shut up about writing fic so p much all my friends/fam know i write it hahaha. and uhh i have a couple irl friends who are in the same fandoms as me but not a lot.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

answered!

aaaaand now i think i’ve officially answered all the questions for this meme lmao

fanfic author ask meme

Dating As A Single Dad Reddit

Dating As A Single Dad Reddit Free

Dating Single Parents Reddit

Reddit Dating Advice

A few years ago, I started cracking jokes regularly about hot dads. Then when I met a charming, handsome dude with good taste in music and tacos at a secret Santa vinyl swap party last winter, I started dating one. Suddenly the jokes seemed a little creepy, and although I actively pumped the brakes on making them, those familiar with my menagerie of hot dad puns rose a skeptical eyebrow. I didn't seek out a hot dad, it just happened. Hotness aside, there's some unexpected things that happen when you date a single dad.

I've dated ('dated') divorced dudes before, which might be a little similar, but this relationship marks my first with a parent. When the relationship was brand-spankin' new, a lot of close friends lamented renditions of, 'I could never DATE A PARENT.' They echoed sentiments of kids being deal breakers. But I just figured, we're getting older. Everyone has a past and brings baggage into a relationship. And sometimes that baggage needs soccer lessons. Although, of course, I find my partner's child a deeply charming, fun, hilarious little human who doesn't qualify as 'baggage.' You know what I mean. A man willing and thrilled to take on the dad role shows commitment. It shows a patient man who gives a damn and has a loving heart. These are positive things. However, yeah..dating one of these men summons some unique situations sometimes.

Aug 27, 2018 Single dads have responsibilities, and that’s a sign that they’ll be able to handle a relationship maturely. Speaking of fatherly responsibilities, single dads have to take their kids to the Dentist, the Doctor, and other appointments. This means that it should be relatively easy to meet a single dad if you’re looking to date one. If you’re newly single, ease into it. Remember, you’re the grown-up here. “The decision to date is 100. Single Officers, hows your dating life? I am a Deputy that is currently working in the county jail. I was recently set up on a blind date with a friend of a friend. She was was really cute from her pictures and i was told she was a great person so i agreed. We met for dinner and I was actually having a good time.

He gets along great with your dad

I already knew I was dating a sociable, nice guy, and my dad is the same way, but I don't know how I failed to predict this easy bond. It's kinda unbelievably cute to watch them nerd out on fatherhood together.

He moves easily in different social situations

If he has to make pleasant conversation with other parents during tae kwan do, he can flow harmoniously through your old coworker's new girlfriend's potluck.

Finding tiny clothes in your clean laundry

Or..not even that tiny. Just not yours and not big enough to be his. I recently unearthed a red T-shirt that was definitely not mine in a batch of clean laundry I did at bae's house. Granted, I'm a fairly petite person and my boyfriend's child is seven. Even though I modeled it for jokes above, I resisted the urge to actually don and sport it around. That seemed too far.

Reexamining past relationships

Every situation is different, but my boyfriend is still on amicable terms with his child's mother, who also lives near us. Matters are so peachy that she even shared me on a Google Calendar she, her boyfriend, and my boyfriend share re: who has chief parenting duties when (it's half-and-half, really). This kind of amazing camaraderie made me really look at past relationships I'd previously kept duct-taped in a box and tossed the way-back part of the closet. I'd like to say this exercise made me resurrect toxic romantic relationships as healthy friendships, but that hasn't quite happened yet (and with some specific ones, I honestly can't see that ever happening). More than anything, I think it's helped me recognize the hard fact that all humans have faults and, in general, good intentions. Harmony can exist with a little work. (Though to be fair, I can't take credit for the calendar. That's all his superstar ex's handiwork and maturity.)

Realizing people sure like to make fun of/talk about dads

I actually muted #dadbod from Twitter and had to fake a million smiles for people trying to relate to me by bringing the meme up IRL. Also very tired of the dad joke thing (which is real, sure, but still not a phenom I care to discuss for the 999th time).

There's far less invented drama

Dating As A Single Dad Reddit Free

When a person has to care for another human, they simply have less emotional and physical energy to invent snafus or hang-ups. Nothing is a big deal unless it's an actual Big Deal. He has developed a wisdom to help him identify the difference between the two, and if you haven't already done the same, hanging with him long enough will be educational.

You have an incredibly patient partner

Someone who had to teach a tiny, indignant child how to master the toilet isn't gonna flip when you need to take nine breaks hiking back out of a canyon.

You save money

I've never considered my income sizable until I started thinking of the glaring fact that I don't have to split it with anyone. Since single dads still have to, you know, fund their child, there isn't always a ton of extra dough to fund flippant outings to fancy cocktail bars or jump onto tubing trips you didn't even want to attend in the first place. It inspires you to be more mindful of your own spending habits. As such—

He's wildly creative with cheap and free activities

And knows every single dope park worth visiting in town.

It forces you to address your own insecurities..

So when the kid asks, 'Why are you wearing lipstick?' You can actually think to yourself, '..Yeah. Why am I doing that?' And in a more serious sense, it forces you to dissect immature impulses. Like when you're running late to meet a friend because you're stuck in a child-stuffed lantern parade one town over, you're not allowed to bitch and force your S.O. to help you summon an Uber to pick you up, STAT—because he's too busy pushing the kid on a skateboard inside the festivities to indulge your princess agenda. It makes you take a more discerning look at this princess agenda and brainstorm ways to be more reasonable in general.

..and to be an adult yourself.

I was playing with the kid at a playground near my boyfriend's apartment and when an authority figure from the attached daycare came out to ask if we had permission to be there, I immediately turned to the child. Then I realized, 'Oh fuck. I'm supposed to answer here.' I've always been a touch afraid of authority but knew I had to handle the current situation. It turned out fine, by the way.

Conversely, it means you can't let jealousy get to you with exes. I used to let envy blind me badly in the past—even if a boyfriend managed to remain congenial with an ex, the whole bond made me feel rattled as hell. Now that I'm with a person who's ex will be around in a close way forever and ever amen, I have to be OK with that. Which is the adult thing to do anyway. We can't let ourselves feel threatened for no viable reason.

He knows the world doesn't revolve around him

This can be a difficult quality to find in this world of overgrown Peter Pans on the hunt for their own Mother figure—a person to handle all the less savory household duties, remind them to go to the doctor, praise them constantly, hinge their daily or long-term plans on what Pan wants or says he needs. This situation is different, because he already takes on that role for his child while still taking decent care of himself. Playing Mother to a series of adult Peter Pans got old, so this kind of attitude is a very welcome change of pace.

He is deliberate

Since there's a kid involved, he isn't trying to be all willy-nilly with decisions in life—both those that do and don't concern you. That's pretty hot, TBH.

You can dodge responsibility for your music choices

When 'Uptown Funk' happens six times in a row, I can blame that on the kid (which is true). Same with Katy Perry (which might be an extrapolation or even just my idea).

It's hard to gross him out

Possibly one of the best treats of dating a dad. If your cat got secretly sick and he steps barefoot into a pile of barf, he doesn't love it but he understands that happens (probably because he has experience direct skin-to-someone else's-barf contact before). He also doesn't panic about periods or farts or other body stuff.

Dating Single Parents Reddit

His place is gonna be messy..forever

Cleaning is one of my favorite forms of therapy, likely because if I'm in a highly cluttered space physically, that transfers mentally and makes me feel like a stressed-out trashcan. Very early in this relationship, I suggested I help my boyfriend with an intense cleaning sesh of his kitchen. We had a lot of wine and played loud punk and soon it was gleaming. This lasted about 36 hours. With a child and full-time job and other luxurious duties such as bathing oneself and staying fed (AND keeping the kid fed), cleaning falls to the wayside. Besides not having enough time to clean, kids are just miraculously mess-inducing machines. Tireless ones. As such, I try to see this situation as an opportunity to relax my OCD tendencies and work to become a more patient, understanding person. Of course my apartment is much cleaner—because I only have to account for me. It isn't fair to hold him to the same standard.

You learn how to relinquish some control

I recognize I have some control freak tendencies, relationships included. A lot of life is outside our control and dating someone with a child is a very effective reminder that no matter what, we can't always call the shots. We have to be adaptable. As such, I waited until my boyfriend thought it would be OK to introduce me to his kid. And even then, it's not like I leapt from a cake and shouted, 'I AM YOUR NEW MOM!!!!!!!!!!!' Not at all. I'm still just a buddy who kicks it from time to time to join in on eating pizza or playing 'balloon' or the occasional ride home from school. When and if my boyfriend wants to explain my role in his life to his child, that's not really up to me. It's a discussion he and I can have, but it's not my endeavor to pilot.

You get a bit of perspective about your own age..

It's fun to make fun of Oldsters until you realize you are now one. This is highlighted by the frequency at which you offer anecdotes children don't want to hear, always marked with the beginning, 'When I was a kid..' They don't care, probably. They just don't need to hear about how your lack of skills with Donkey Kong at age seven feeds into your lack of skills with Mario Kart Racing at age 27. They're just stoked to authentically beat an adult.

..and your general level of importance.

Not to say my boyfriend treats me like I'm not important; He treats me with total kindness and respect. It's just that I have dated people in the past who put me on a pedestal, and you know what? The oxygen gets pretty thin up there. Although I'm sure it's meant as an appreciative gesture, it's unrealistic and puts a lot of pressure on the person sitting on top of it. Dating a parent, though, means no matter what, there is always going to be someone more important than I am in the mix. And I am so so OK with that.

There's no room for jealousy

If a sitter falls through last-minute, that means reservations gotta be canceled and dinner gets moved to the living room and the main dish will probably be pizza. You can't take it personally if homie is late because his child's mother got a flat tire so he had to go help out. You also can't get suspicious when he's on the phone with her a lot. These are complicated waters to navigate and if you're even to dip a few toes beneath the surface, you gotta be able to resign yourself to faith and trust—two things that ought to be present in any grown-ass relationship anyway. It's just here, it's especially non-negotiable.

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Reddit Dating Advice

Shit doesn't have to be so serious

I never babysat growing up and none my nieces and nephews live close by, so I don't actually have much experience hanging out with kids. The first time I met my boyfriend's child, I was 900 times more nervous than meeting any adult. What were we supposed to do or talk about? 'Seriously, whatever,' he instructed. After a while, the nerves dissolved and we were playing a stirring game of 'balloon,' which entails whacking a balloon back and forth between two or three people in a living room. Extra rules vary, but usually Taylor Swift is a necessary soundtrack. Things just don't have to be so serious in the sense that kids are very fun and it's almost astounding how quickly you can reverse back to such an easily entertained brain space. It's freeing to launch into some weird accent and spike a deflating balloon in the air without fear of being judged. It scratches a specific existential itch.

There's no ego

Because guess who makes the weird accent and plays balloon when you're not around? Conversely, though— Gaydia gay dating site reviews.

You can have serious conversations without scaring each other

Although I'm sure there are exceptions, most of the time when a single dad is dating, he isn't just screwing around. It's surprisingly refreshing to sink into a relationship and have the comfortable freedom to discuss individual big-scale hopes and goals. In other relationships, talking about the future at all can often be exactly the catalyst to send Pan off packing for a return and permanent trip to Neverland.

You retain a lot of your own time

Often, especially in new relationships, it can be hard to balance love stuff and friends. https://dateflight398.tumblr.com/post/658104267855577088/catholic-dating-app-free. Assuming you're in a situation with split custody in a local setting, that means half the time you get to yourself. It helps slow things down early on and maintain other hobbies, tinkerings, friendships, and such in your own life. It's the antithesis to smothering and fosters vital independence.

Images: TriStar Picturs; Giphy(23); Beca Grimm

2019-2020 end of year art summaries!!! a hard 2 years (template source ‘19 | template source ‘20 | 2018′s)

(covid & life talk section)

before i go into my usual spiel i want to mention that the reason i can’t remember why i didn’t make an art summary in 2019. i suspect it was because mostly bc i forgot to take time off over the holidays (i... did not know how to full time work), but also bc i was just really upset about my decreased art output. tbh it’s still a bit painful to look back over my pre-2019 art. if you’ve gone through some major life changes that have changed the way you approach a hobby, i recommend this video (”a rebuilding year”), which really helped me. 

(most of my stuff over these years was digital bc it was easier for me to edit, to avoid feeling upset by things being unfixable. though i end up spending too much time fine-tuning my drawings instead...)

i think it’s... been more than one rebuilding year. covid has been an entire new readjustment, and my city being in lockdown for much of the year (unlike most of australia) gave me the chance to have more free time (for stuff like art), despite the negative consequences to other parts of my life. i don’t really have a conclusion to this but it’s necessary bg to understanding how i drew. i hope this year things can settle down and i can finally find a schedule that works for me!

(the stuff i usually talk about in one of these posts)

i tried a couple of things in 2019 & 2020! unlike last time i wrote one of these, though, i think it’s clear how i improved from 2018, even if the pieces on my summary are all over the place. (some of the pieces included in 2020 are studies or wips!)

summary of these years’ improvements:

things i achieved: doing anything creative b/w starting a job and the events of 2020, a TON of digital work, ACTUALLY learning how to paint digitally (2018 me DID NOT KNOW ANYTHING)

things i improved on: overall digital work (e.g. use of features provided by csp - materials, textures, masking, adjustments, gradients, brushes), painting (mainly via marco bucci’s video tutorials), colour & value

etc: tried more watercolour (with pencils - found it much easier), got irl inking supplies (but haven’t done it as much as i’d like), did a lot of shitty trackpad art in ms paint (at work). it’s not shown off much in the summaries but i started to get into fonts and calligraphy after i took a handlettering class in ~april 2019! 

insps of 2020: heikala, choodraws, ggdg. i think my faves (besides ggdg) didn’t influence what i draw as much as usual, so i won’t list more

big goals for 2021: composition, more bgs, find my own painting style, rendering with inks (like shirahama or tsulala or the artist of my broken mariko!). maybe make a tiny comic...?

on the topic of painting! a lot of the stuff i did this year is from a boring angle or more static or less detailed than i’d like. (i was focusing on learning other skills, but) i think this is partly bc of my approach to digital work. i find it way easier to do smth with realistic proportions, flowy lines, or w/ a lot of linework, irl (even if it ends up looking jank). i think this is mostly a mental thing and i’d like to fix it!

on a related note i’m happy with my recent art but the sort of direction i want to go is a lot more like... ouhie or jaydenvargen or elibaum or casper. and looks closer to my irl art. like cartoon-y realistic proportions but with a really bold/complex use of colour (and maybe some softer textural elements) to form a composition that’s an absolute banger. (i don’t think i’m skilled enough in Shapes to keep going w/ simplified stuff either). we’ll see

most of my improvements & achievements happened in 2020 but i think w/o the work (and mistakes?) i made in 2019 i wouldn’t have gotten there. i want to be thankful for that. and i did improve at some of the stuff i’d wanted to in 2018!

good luck this year y’all

Painting, blushing, rose, black nail polish and hidden beaches? ❤

Painting: In what ways are you creative?

I like to draw a lot, though I don’t do it nearly as much as I should. I’m just lazy fhajdfhgfj

Is there a way to be creative if you listen to a ton of music? Because if there is that’s me lol

Blushing: Describe a rad person you know.

My best friend Danielle is the best, she’s super sweet and kind of fearless. We hang out a lot, and half the time we watch anime at her house, haha. Recently she broke her leg though (she’s the one who got in the accident) so I’m going to visit her in the hospital soon. We’ve known each other since middle school, so it’s been about 7 years since we met. Honestly I can tell her anything

Rose is answered here!

Black nail polish: What do you do to pamper yourself?

One of the best things ever is a nice hot bath with a bath bomb, face mask, and candles. It’s one of the most relaxing things ever tbh. I haven’t done it for a little while though because it’s so hot, lol. If I want to do something small though, I’ll go out and get starbucks

Hidden beaches: Do you prefer to hang out in a big group or one on one?

For me, if there are more than like 5 people, it’s really not fun at all. The smaller the group the better honestly, and a group of two or three is definitely my favorite. Otherwise, I feel like the same few people dominate the conversation and it’s hard for everyone to feel like part of the group if there’s too many people.

Thank you so much for asking!!

i'm so excited to see u back. and i'm excited to read stories and see art. i hope you don't mind if i send in anons too. could i have a cool anon name? would you mind if i made this a safe place again? for me to be soft and pretentious and vulnerable? also i want some... advice? idk. what are your best ways to combat depression that makes u unmotivated? like can't get out of bed unmotivated? and how do u create when scared? really just. mainly i don't know how to cope. thank u - sunflower anon

people say that depression is that you hate life and hate yourself and don't want to live but man. i love life soooooo much. it's so beautiful. like it's shitty. but still. i just am too scared and unmotivated to go and see it. i'm too scared to create i'm too scared to see things and talk to people and look at the beauty and i'm far too unmotivated and that's one of my biggest problems. idk what i'm ON about i just have had an awful day i hope ur ok with me venting 

ok ok one last thing feel free to answer these all in one post, if u can. i have constant dissatisfaction. i used to write. when i'd get upset i'd write everything that's wrong and find a conclusion. and that was good and still is sometimes but i'm very sensitive. and i LOVE when i can understand things. but lately i just haven't been able to understand. it's been really confusing nd i can't understand what's happening with myself and others and i hate it. it makes my chest hurt 

please. ily. it’s yours. do with this blog as you will.

i ended up writing a lot (too much?) so

(im bolding things after writing this, bc i just wrote waaayy too many words to say very few things. so im not trying to be pretentious, mostly just pointing out to myself that i only needed a sentence per paragraph. anyway.)

tbh this is literally so relatable, i found myself driving circles around a parking lot wondering if i could move somewhere that would bring me satisfaction. if i could move to nashville or san diego or portland or nyc and get a good job like the one i have now, if i went to more concerts and went on more hikes, and if maybe the sky or the different scent of air would make everything better. cause there are places in which im happy to be alive, and i want to be, and i appreciate these things. but really, im still going to be me, it doesnt change that i was at my lowest in malibu. i am what i am. the thought of the future is terrifying bc i have so much i want to accomplish, but i am terrified bc i know i don’t have the energy or willpower. i want to crawl out of my skin. anyway,,

personally, i am very Bad with motivation. i have many projects im dying to finish, but two years later, im still thinking about them. the time elapsed feeds anxiety... the more i leave, the more i still want to crawl out of my skin. so this is how i get things done: they’re have-to’s. the only reason i am able to get out of bed is because my job depends on it. bc my parents will be Disappointed. bc graduating college depends on it. there is no beauty behind me getting to things. it’s all fear, but some fear saves me. i have to let it settle over my shoulders, and just when i feel like i am breaking, to switch my brain off and shove up, even if it’s breaking my heart. (i write this on a monday night, i have midterms this week including a 12 page research paper due and i havent started even choosing a topic. and so i sit here. writing about finding motivation. yep.) for some people, it’s getting a pet to have to get up and take care of. forcing yourself to make plans and keep them bc they will be hurt if you cancel. sometimes it’s anger. when i am angry, i know i need to use the energy or i will end up raging and breaking things, so i clean everything. 

so perhaps making creative moments “have-to”s. i recently read someone saying they write for 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening and it made me realize i dont have a “i dont have time” excuse. write something. anything.

so really just. do. it. do the thing. 

sometimes maybe it’s in acceptance. acknowledging that this wont be the moment you get a ton done or come to an understanding about xyz. and saying that it’s okay. you’re enough. celebrate every tiny victory. sometimes i fall too hard into that, so sometimes i try to keep even my passive times productive. for example, when i scroll tumblr mindlessly, i tag posts according to the creative concepts i have floating around. for example, i have a story i want to write, and i’m tagging everything that fits the aesthetic or serves as inspiration with “n”. makes me feel productive. here, i have opportunities like this, to think through my actions and the way i work. makes me feel like i’m thinking.

also accept that sometimes you wont come to a conclusion, or maybe your creative endeavor is going to turn out like shit. give yourself that permission. to create shitty art sometimes. also !! this quote !!!

my last thought is feeling like you have an audience. like you wrote a nice chunk for me. keep writing on blogs and social media and to people you value. i have two friends with whom i can discuss anything, particularly things that contribute to identity or worldview etc. and those late night text conversations, or simply sharing a screenshot, can help me to keep thinking and coming to understandings. similarly, podcasts and npr. sometimes listening is easier than reading.

over all tho, just generally take care of yourself. make sure you’re eating/sleeping/moving. treat yourself gently. you have time. it’s okay.

i would really really like to hear what other people say tho, bc i clearly have no answers. i feel very stuck and nervously so. it makes my skin crawl, so any others’ thoughts are very welcome :) and do come back, sunflower.

#TMIishTuesday #43 - 16 Things I learned in 2016

No more "first off"s anymore! It's 2017. It's Tuesday. It's #TMIishTuesday. Go! Hey there mighty people of the internet! And welcome to issue #43 of #TMIishTuesday - my weekly Tumblr post about what goes through my mind and what you guys want to know more about. It can be something very personal, it can be something political, it can be completely pointless - but in 99.9 % of the cases, it involves opinions. And mine as well. Last week I went quite cliché by posting my new year's resolutions as my last post of 2016. Addition to my 5 resolutions from last week: 6. Use after-shave every day. I haven't for a while. For which reason?? Also: So far I haven't failed any resolution. I mean… It wasn't too hard, but still. Kind of proud. :D Okay, and guess what follows on a cliché post!? Another cliché post! First post of 2017. What better time to reflect on 2016? Yeey, I'm so creative! :P But you know me. If you are expecting a break-down of political events, you might need to look somewhere else. I'm sure the BBC, NBC, or ARD have made enough "year in review" broadcasts to fill an entire year. No, THIS is a reflection of some of the events that - I figured out in 2016, - I learned I in 2016, - I achieved in 2016, - have moved me in 2016, or - simply have made my 2016. Ready? Let's see, if we can make it to 16 things. 1. It's okay to be gay! At the start of 2016 I came out to basically anybody, who knows. The only exception being my best friend. That was in December 2015 already. But in 2016 I told another very close friend (who might also be reading this. Hi there!), my parents, and the parents of my two best friends. Every single one of them has been absolutely supporting. Thanks to all of you guys! <3 2. Bosses can be assholes! Don't get me wrong: I've had three jobs last year and only one boss was an asshole. But this dude. Wow! I applied for a job to do in the period between Christmas and my new study that started in August. Among others, I applied at a call centre. Not the most satisfying job, but decent enough. It was all about getting working experience anyways. But this dude ordered me 4, 5, 6 times to do 1-2 hours of calls under his supervision saying that I was very close to getting the job all the time. All of that lasted from mid January to mid February. Then he said we should schedule yet another meeting and that he would email me a date for the following week. I was already really fed up with him and the entire place. And he didn't message me. When I emailed him half-way through the following week, he replied that they had no more interest in me. That was such a kick in the face! I basically worked my ass off for them and was then fired. I had no contract or anything, but still. I feel like they betrayed me for 150-200 euros there. So that was an experience… 3. Having help in looking for a job is crucial! I applied loads for the apprenticeship that I started last August. 40, 50 letters for sure. By mid-January a friend of my parents, who had heard I was looking for one, approached me: Hey, so, I heard that this rehabilitation clinic is looking for an apprentice still. I'm cool with their Vice CEO. You could tell them I sent you and just try your luck. At the end of February I had an interview there - and after doing a one-week internship I received a call saying I could start there in summer. WOOHOO! 4. Being a cashier can be awesome! After I had been "fired" (if you want so), I felt let down, discouraged. But I wanted to work really badly. Sitting at home doing nothing really felt bad. So I applied as a cashier at the supermarket closest to my parents' (where I had moved back in). And I got the job. Worked 4-6 hours a day, 6 days a week. Having basically no weekend (when you work late shifts on Saturday and early shifts on Monday) really sucks, but it pays just like any other job you can do without a study. Not having to pay any rent, I made quite some money. And it was really fun as well! It's a massive supermarket and there are lots of returning customers - also from the surrounding area. Not just the city itself. It's quite a cool store tbh :P And my colleagues were really cool as well. On New Year's Eve I went there for the first time since leaving for a different city. Just walking through those sliding doors I felt "at home". Such cool people! I kind of miss that place. In a way... 5. Tumblr is cool! These past days I realised how Tumblr played a big role in my coming out process. I never really was aware of its influence. But in Summer (or so) 2015, half a year before coming out, I created this account and followed some blogs posting cute guys. That was the first hint, I guess? In 2016 I continued scrolling through these posts and got waaay more into it. Not only did I start writing texts that I posted on Tumblr, but the amount of time I spent scrolling and browsing just increased a lot. And I like it. Oh, and I posted my coming out story to have it written down somewhere where I can read it any time I want to - and yet hidden from friends. Great decision! I wouldn't remember it as well, if I hadn't put it there. And look what has developed from this all! I write a ton of stuff about stuff that matters to me. Every week. And I did 21 posts of #mightyadvent as well. I love it! Thanks for reading my ramblings, guys! 6. Coming out videos are great and the world is not binary! This is something that is probably also valid even more for December 2015, but: I freaking LOVE coming out videos. Recently I've been way too busy and haven't watched one in probably a month or so. But until May or June I probably watched EVERY coming out video that was uploaded to YouTube. Just to get a feeling of how my coming out had gone. And because I wanted to hear other people's stories. There is a huge mixture of reactions out there. People getting disinherited or getting hit. People with indifferent parents. People who got very loving responses telling them they supported them the way they are. I was lucky enough here. While I knew that there is more than just - male/female for gender and - hetero/gay for sexual orientations, I never really knew what else there was. Like, what exactly is there beyond the binary? Then I started watching all those coming out videos. And I stumbled across people identifying as all kinds of genders and sexual orientations. Even if some were trolls (remember the guy who came out as playing Minecraft? F*ing bastard! Sorry, I shouldn't call people this, but he deserves it), I saw LOADS of real, sometimes very inspiring videos, and stories that just make you go "awwww". Anyway, I'm drifting off again. What I wanted to say here is: I learned that there are more than two genders and more than two sexual orientations. I knew that transsexuality existed, but never had an idea what people felt like going through it. And I now know a lot about asexuality or pansexuality as well. 7. Twitter is queer, too! In the summer I somehow stumbled across VollzeitJonas's Twitter. He must have replied to some YouTuber's tweet or so. Anyway, I followed his account and thereby truly boosted my experience. By him posting some stuff and retweeting lots and lots on LGBTQ+ issues, I began to discover the topics as well. I found queer.de, a wonderful German news website that focuses on news on LGBTQ+ issues. And I found dbna.de, a site for gay youth. Dating website, community, forum, tips - it's all on there. From Jonas's Twitter account it basically just evolved over time. I interacted with him and others, who follow him and by now I follow some more cool peeps. I like that! 8. Living on your own rocks! Yeah… I moved twice this year. From the students' house in the Netherlands I had lived in for the past 4.5 years to my parents' house (in February) and then to the place I live now. And I'm really living on my own for the first time. It took some money to get all the stuff needed to fill an entire apartment. And I basically spent all the money I had earned over the 4.5 months before as a cashier. But: It was worth it. I really like my interior. It also took some time to get used to all the stuff you have to do when living on your own entirely - with no flat mates. Not owning a dish washer, cleaning everything on your own, cooking on your own… You name it. But it certainly offers some advantages as well. 9. Work can be a positive thing, too! When I started the apprenticeship in August I was quite scared. How would I be able to cope with working 40 hours a week and having to study for school at the same time. It was quite hard to get used to, to be honest. But I figured out I don't have to study tooooo much for school. My study pays off. At times I feel like the most difficult thing is constantly translating from English to German cause I studied in English. Work itself is quite interesting. Different tasks and while it gets a little boring at times, most of the times there's more to be done. And they try to assign me different tasks so I don't get too bored. That's cool. Also I have - like at the supermarket - very lovely and caring colleagues. One tiny downside: There's only one guy my age there. And I think he has a girlfriend. :/ And for the "boring" stuff there's a positive news too: I'll get to see a different department in two weeks, so a little more variety to come. I enjoy working full time cause I can see what I am doing this for already. That's cool! However I should have taken a few days off work before Christmas. I did like 95 % of my Christmas shopping the afternoon before. Oops. 10. A car can save lives! Or well… Let's say it can improve the quality of life. I got a car a month after I started the apprenticeship. It's 15 years old. But you know… as long as it keeps going… Plus it's my first car. Oh and by going by car I save about 4 hours a week on travelling time. And some money as well. Sounds weird, but makes sense once you realise that a month ticket for the train is more expensive than day tickets for me cause I only work three days a week. The other two are school which is located in the city I live. And the car also proved very useful for visiting a friend in the Netherlands. He doesn't live in the place I studied at anymore, but moved further west to Apeldoorn, meaning it was a two-hour drive for his birthday. By train it would have been 3 hours - which I probably then wouldn't have done. And it was about the same price to go. Trains are f*ing expensive! 11. Travelling is the world to me! I didn't go on a long holiday in 2016, but did several weekend trips. In May I went to visit a friend in Denmark with the mates from my Dutch table tennis club. Had the greatest time there! Three days of talks, catch-ups, table tennis, a cool city (Århus), amazing weather - to say I enjoyed my time there would be a big understatement! Side note: That is now the most Northern spot I've been to. I told you about my trip to Apeldoorn already where we had a great time as well. Even if it was only about 15 hours. And I pretty much just got back from the last highlight of 2016: I visited a very good friend in Belgium. First time I went to Belgium. Or well… I crossed it on the way to Orléans as a third-grader. That doesn't count, does it? Anyway, Belgium was really fun! Being with my two best friends is always perfect. And exploring a city I have wanted to visit for a long time, makes it even better: We went to Brussels for an entire day and explored the city of Leuven for the other day. Really cool - both cities! Want to go again! Have no trips planned for this year, but could imagine visiting my Danish friend again - and who knows what else. 12. Online dating is hard! I don't know whether I mentioned this on here and I certainly didn't "offline". But I'm sure there's a tweet about this. In October or so I got inspired by VollzeitJonas and others and created an account on that gay online dating platform. After some browsing I got a message from a guy, who was looking to meet people. And I replied politely and thought I'd give it a try. But that's just as exams started at school and I had several other "big projects" in this thing called "real life" and I felt I wasn't quite ready to invest that much energy at the time. That's why it kinda just ended after one message. Sad story. But totally not his fault. I think I should give this whole online dating thing a go again. See my new year's resolutions, btw. [/shameless self-promo] 13. I can still feel the Pulse! This is probably the most grief I've felt this year. I woke up some Sunday in June to the news of Orlando. It was early morning over there when a "man" (should we call him "man", if he's that cruel?) entered Pulse club. One of the more popular gay clubs in the city. And now probably all LGBTQ+ around the world know the club. For a very sad reason: That man didn't just enter the club. He fired into the crowd trying to assassinate as many as possible. 49 didn't make it out alive, 53 more were wounded. Most of the people at the party were of Hispanic background cause the club was holding a Latin night. That much for the motive of the perpetrator and the description of what happened. Learning about the events in the morning on Twitter just twisted my stomach. It was the first major LGBTQ+ hate crime I heard of after discovering my own sexuality. I follow several LGBTQ+ folks on Twitter, so the message spread to me rather quickly. I realised how much of a deal this was when I saw so that basically any LGBTQ+ I follow on Twitter posted about it. Sheer madness. I had just become more proactive and had just fully accepted myself as gay - and then THAT happened. Writing about this still makes my fists clench. R.I.P. to all 49. 14. Terror is here! December - the time of the year most people here in Germany get excited for Christmas. And we have those cute little Christmas markets. You can get glühwein there and fries and lots of (let's face it: pretty useless) self-made stuff. The booths are lit up with chains of light and everyone is just letting go of the stress that tends to tension the atmosphere around that time of the year. A very famous Christmas market is the one in front of Berlin's Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial Church which itself is one of the must-see places as a tourist. And then there was the man who would kill 11 and injure 55 more when he drove a truck into that very Christmas market on 19 December. I - again - read about it first on Twitter. At first I thought it was just an accident and didn't really bother too much, skipping the messages in my timeline and scrolling on. But after an hour or so I thought it was about time to check what really was going on in Berlin. It was only then when I realised how bad things really were. We had our first successful terrorist attack in Germany. R.I.P. to the victims! 15. Prejudice sucks! Remember New Year's Eve 2015? Lots of people were sexually assaulted right next to the famous Dom cathedral in Cologne. Potentially by men "of North African appearance" (that's what Police said). And there was an outcry in the entire country for how ruthless "all the immigrants" were. What they forgot - like so many times before and after the incident - is that a group of 5-50 people is not "all immigrants". But that's a different story I could rant over for an entire #TMIishTuesday post. What also was part of the outcry was how not-present Police were during that night. How was it possible that so many ladies were assaulted in public and Police didn't notice? No one really knew the answer. Lesson of these events: More police will be present at big public events. The results? Well… New Year's Eve 2016. Cologne again. More police is present. The square in front of the Dom is closed. And we still get news. News that make me wanna puke again. Why? Apparently police checked kinda any non-white person thoroughly, while not checking white people (or not checking them that much). That's prejudice. If not racism. And no debate about this: Police being accused of being racist is an absolute no-go! And that should make them think. For heaven's sake, why can't we just have a great time on New Year's Eve? 16. Chocolate cereal likes to play hard to get! I want to end this on a lighter note, so: In 2016 I discovered that my beloved chocolate cereal really is hard to get hold of. The best deal is certainly at the Aldi (thanks for not sponsoring this post, Aldi!). Problem here: People know that. And in each batch there are like 12 (?) boxes of different types of cereals, but only one box is chocolate cereal. And guess who went to the Aldi a good few times just to get cereal and ended up NOT getting it because there were like 5 batches of cereal in the shelves, but all chocolate cereal was gone? Yepp. This guy. Sad times! 17. Thank you! Finally I'd like to say thank you to all the lovely people who made this year as great as it has been: - My friends from my hometown: Stephan, Lukas, Ago, Dennis, Katja, Linus, Desiree, Tomas - My "Dutch" friends, who are not all Dutch: Marc, Linda, Laura, Christina, Martijn, Rik, Danny, Mette, Cédric, Annelies, Abhishta, Wouter, Menno, Celestine, and the rest of my table tennis club - My friends from the new town: Jenny, Florentin, Juliet, Linda, Marina, Katharina, Lina, Dana, and the rest of my class - My parents and family - and so many I probably have missed on this list.  Also thanks to loads YouTubers: - Those that showed me that queer is cool: Ash Hardell, Ricky Dillon, Connor Franta, Calum McSwiggan, ItsColeslaw, Troye Sivan, Hannah Hart, Chandler 'N Wilson, Sam Collins, Courtney-Jai - Special shoutout to those who I witnessed coming out this year: Ricky Dillon and ItsColeslaw - Those whose vlogs up my day: Marzbar, Ben, Oskar, Felix von der Laden, Ben Brown, George Benson, izzi, FunForLouis - The German Minecraft gamers out there: skate702, CubePlayTV, Herr Bergmann (plus teams #unfazbar, #Destilay and #Vibe for their great #VARO4 videos) - The rest, who just don't fit a category, but make THE BEST content: Julien Bam, Applewar, Mikey Murphy Finally thanks to the lovely Twitter folks: - VollzeitJonas, XLucamiraX, _FlexiHD_, achojo, Hennddrik, jsnjgr Wow! This has become such a long post! I feel like it's the longest I ever posted! :O That was totally not the intention. And it turned out a little more seriously than I initially planned. But that's fine. That's just a representation of my life. That's been my 2016! Hope you liked it. I certainly did! What did you achieve in 2016? I wanna know. Let me know by placing a comment, tweeting me, dming me, or what else you can think of - you know the means to get to me. As always: Next #TMIishTuesday next Tuesday. If you have any questions in the meantime, just ask away. Whatever you’re curious about - I don’t bite. :) Also: Poll to determine next week’s topic will be up on Twitter on Sunday afternoon. Until then: Stay mighty! Oh, and here’s some self-promo: - Last #TMIishTuesday: http://mightbedamian.tumblr.com/post/155176055527/tmiishtuesday-42-new-years-resolutions - More #TMIishTuesdays: mightbedamian.tumblr.com/tagged/tmi - Poll to decide next week's topic and more very cool stuff: www.twitter.com/mightbedamian - Even more very cool stuff: mightbedamian.tumblr.com