Hello I am not dead I've just been sucked irrevocably into Stardew Valley by my friend who bought it for my birthday (and also Christmas, because my birthday is three days after Christmas, which is usually the way presents go for me and I don't mind). I've already put like 42 hours into my little farm in the forest and making friends with the residents and I'm having the most delightful time. Also my friend's boyfriend is purchasing a copy for my girlfriend so we can play together. What really sold her was when I told her we could get gay married in co-op. 10/10

ok so i finished season 1 of the white lotus and whats remarkable to me is how relatable every character is like there is no villain no one is wholly evil not even fucking shane or olivia theyre all so painfully real? also so happy for jennifer coolidge who finally got to play a role with some true depth tanya could've easily been another caricature but she evokes so much sympathy i am in awe

.....why is there so much hetero content in the sdv tag and esp related to harvey and shane. it may just be my lesbian ass but i didnt realize ANYONE liked them but im like seconds from unfollowing the tag cause everything (thats promoted for me anyway) is painfully het and abt those two like wheres the lesbians? wheres the abigail lovers or leah lovers or ANY of the women (except hailey cause she makes me think of a like. 18 y/o and thats uncomfortable to meeee)

“The L Word” cast & creator join White House press briefing to celebrate Lesbian Visibility Week

In celebration of Lesbian Visibility Week, the cast of The L Word joined out White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre to kick off yesterday’s press briefing. Jean-Pierre was joined at the podium by the show’s co-creator Ilene Chaiken, as well as actresses Jennifer Beals, Katherine Moennig, and Leisha Hailey, who respectively play beloved characters Bette, Shane, and Alice in both the original early 2000s series as well as the 2019 The L Word: Generation Q reboot. --- Related Stories Out civil rights warrior Rue Landau is running to make history on the Philadelphia City Council “I stand on the shoulders of the their greatness,” Landau said of the closeted leaders who came before her. --- Jeane-Pierre introduced the L Word team by acknowledging the massive impact the show has had on generations of queer women. View this post on Instagram A post shared by Leisha Hailey (@leishahailey) Jean-Pierre spoke about how the show has saved lives and how she attended the filming of last year’s episode that featured a marriage between two iconic characters, “a moment that meant so much to queer women across the country,” she said. She spoke about feeling “alone and sometimes invisible” growing up as a young queer woman of color. “For so many people in our community, The L Word‘s impact cannot be understated. Being able to see diverse narratives that reflect our lives is incredibly important.” “From book bans to don’t say gay laws, MAGA extremists want to roll back the visibility we fought so hard to achieve, but LGBTQI+ youth are resilient… they are fierce, they fight back, they aren’t going anywhere.” She emphasized that people in the Biden administration “have their back.” View this post on Instagram A post shared by Kate Moennig (@kateomoennig) Chaiken and Hailey also spoke. Chaiken acknowledged the immense power of speaking alongside the first out lesbian press secretary in U.S. history who is also serving the most pro-equality president. “We learned by the beautiful response to our show how important it is for people, particularly young people, to see themselves reflected in our entertainment culture and to know that they’re embraced, valued, and not alone,” she said. “We’re painfully aware that our struggles are far from over… We’ve been fighting this fight for generations, and we’ll never stand down. They may try to erase our stories from classrooms and libraries, but we’re here…and we won’t be erased.” Hailey then added, “I’m standing here today because as a young gay girl in Nebraska who raced soap box derby cars and wore rainbow suspenders, I was seen by my family. Their love and support gave me the courage and confidence to live my life openly.” “Visibility is not just the act of being seen,” she continued. “It is the ability to see.” She went to express to the queer people fighting for their right to exist every day, “We see you.” After the briefing, the cast met with LGBTQ+ members of President Joe Biden’s administration to discuss efforts to advance LGBTQ+ equality. On Instagram, the stars celebrated their appearance at the White House. “It is a once in a lifetime event for an actor to be part of a project that offers up measurable good, meaningful healing for so many,” wrote Jennifer Beals, alongside the video of the cast and Jean-Pierre strutting down the White House halls to Beyonce’s Run the World (Girls). “It starts with visibility. Knowing your story-whether in part or parcel-deserves to be told, matters. It is an honor to be an ally to the brilliant, diverse, intrepid #LGBTQIA+ community. I have gained so much more than I have given. What an honor. Lucky me.” View this post on Instagram A post shared by Jennifer Beals (@thejenniferbeals) http://dlvr.it/Sn6H5q

Random headcanon

*Harvey enjoys reading Shakespeare. I think he and Elliott would be good friends.

*Elliott stares off into the river on the bridge because he thinks bridges are romantic and he needs inspiration for his Gothic romance novel.

*Alex drinks Gatorade constantly.

*Demetrius refuses to turn on the A/C in the summer because he's worried about his work papers fluttering away and ending up on the floor. His family has to sweat it out or use localized fans. Seb doesn't care. The basement is pretty cool.

*Gus donates food to the local shelter and soup kitchen.

*Haley goes shopping in Zuzu City frequently once access to the train is repaired. She is not a bus girl. Haley would do more online shopping if her internet didn't crash so often. She regularly calls Sebastian to come fix it. He obliges only because it's a gig and makes him gold but he is secretly starting to like her a bit. She doesn't find him that bad either.

*Sam used to cloud gaze with Granny Evelyn. He talks to Harvey about getting a better prescription so she can see the clouds again. He means well, but of course, doctor-patient confidentiality prevents Harvey from saying anything. He might just suggest it though in Evelyn's next check-up. ❤☁️

*Lewis wanted to be on a cooking competition show when he was younger. That's why he's so adamant about the soup being perfect for the Governor during the luau.

*Evelyn used to collect seashells with her little girl (Alex's mom). It's too painful, both emotionally and physically to do it now. But during the luau she let's herself dream a little and remembers her daughter.

*Robin is the unofficial town tourism board. Mayor Lewis always ropes her into meeting newcomers when they arrive. She is friendly and personable and a good fit for this role. I imagine she traveled frequently when she was younger and that's how she met Demetrius.

*Abigail plays World of Warcraft and Elder Scrolls Online. She has an epic high level character in both, even higher than Sebastian.

*Jas enjoys playing hide and seek with Shane and Marnie, but hates it when Mayor Lewis does. He's terrible at hiding, and he always sneezes and gives away his place.

*Post-recovery Shane likes to take naps in the Farmer's field on sunny days.

*Sam's allergies make him a poor farm companion, but he does wonders in sprucing up the cabin. If married, he would even create a little music room for himself and their kids.

*Marnie enjoys working out once a week at Caroline's. It helps with her body confidence. She is hoping to convince Pam to join sometime.

*Pam was married to a sailor at one point. He left her soon after Penny was born, going to procure diapers and he never returned.

*The witch used her memory erasing technique on the Wizard, her ex-husband to make him forger who his child is in SDV.

*Caroline once considered getting a health coach certification but worried the classes would take her away from raising Abigail properly.

*Pierre is a workaholic, but he allows himself to unwind at Stardrop every Friday evening. He wishes Caroline would join him, but she's not a night owl.

*Gunther is allergic to peppers. He hates spicy food. Tacos literally make him gag.

*Penny relates better to children than adults. She is a painfully shy introvert and she had a speech impediment as a child. She used a puppet to help communicate.

*Jas also had delayed communications, and Vincent is showing early signs of ADHD.

*Emily and her best friend, Sandy grew up doing everything together before moving to the Desert. They swam in the Gem Sea, they played pirates and nobles in the Cindersap Forest, and they collected gems in the quarry. They always invited Haley to join but Haley refused since she didn't like the more active gameplay. When Sandy moved away, Haley was secretly glad hoping Emily would finally spend more time with her.

*Leah loves making fresh salads. When she lived in the city, she would visit the Farmer's Market near daily.

*Maru wonders what life in space would be like. Her scientific and rational brain tells her she could never be an astronaut because of her poor eyesight and low stamina, but that doesn't stop her from dreaming.

A, B, D, E and O.

(Also R) FOR THE FANFIC ASK! (Thanks, Zaynee!) A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why? - Well, honestly, I’m partial to the dang *book* I’m working on now, but if we’re going with completed works,,, Oh heavens this is like picking my favorite child. Umm, Ok, I’m gonna go with my Earthquake fic. (To Earthquakes, Lovers, and Newfound Friends.) I’m picking that one because I feel like it’s the only time I’ve ever gotten the balance of OFC to Canon correct in a story. So dang many of my stories are Mary Sue by default nature of them being my dreams and in that story, it was more of a straight Zowens story with my blind ass being along for the ride. So yeah, going with that one.

B:  What was the first fandom you read fic in?  Which was the first you wrote fic for? 

- I first started reading fanfic way back on the wee baby interweb in about 96 or so. My first fanfics were about Xena: Warrior Princess and were usually Gabrielle/Joxer because for some idiot reason I thought Xena and Gabby were straight. (I was very naive and very silly.) The first ever fanfic I wrote was, surprise surprise, a Based-On-A-Dream WWE(F) Fanfic. It was around 1999, was called Last Man Living, and involved Vince McMahon forcing the WWF Superstars into a Hunger Games style fight to the death in Titan Tower. It was extremely disturbing (for the era anyway), painfully Mary Sue, and never got further than a printed out copy, which I later threw away. I will say that, for some ungodly reason, I wrote two free-writing sequels that were even worst than the first one, and I had a fourth one planned that revealed the entire saga was a dream, but my college roomate (who I kept convincing to look at them) begged me to stop.

D. What’s the most personal fanfic you’ve written?

- Um, I’d have to say the entire “That’s What Friends Are For” saga is extremely personal to me. Yes, the first part is on AO3, but that’s only because I haven’t orphaned/deleted it yet. I want to. Writing that entire saga was far less about putting out a story and more about me channeling my inner BPD monster into a therapeutic outlet. Of all the OFCs I’ve written? Ren Humphries is the closest to my heart and the most like me. That one is straight up self indulgent, self insert fic that was written to satisfy my own needs. Like I said, I really want to just purge it, especially as I have no intentions of publishing the rest of the saga.

E: What character do you identify with most?  Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well? - Well, like I said, Ren Humphries is straight up self-insert, so there’s that. Outside of OFCs... Well, I’d have to go with a WIP here and say Joxer from my “Planeswalking Like A Grecian” story. It features Joxer (from Xena) after he’s grown old and is killed, but he still has his youthful appearance on the astral plane. And his characterization is a mixture of “Surprisingly Wise Adult” and “Useless fool.” It’s the opposite of the Mad Scientist trope, Joxer has High WISDOM, Low Intelligence, and that’s straight up Shanie to a T. I can give remarkably good advice on a wide variety of topics, but if you asked me to add fractions or do most basic math, I’d probably start crying.

R: Which writers (fanfic or otherwise) do you consider the biggest influence on you and your writing?

- Back in THA DAY, there was a McMahon Family fanfic author who had written a slew of fanfics and put them on the old geocities fan sites. Her name was (and forgive me if I’m getting this wrong) Catherine Semerjain and she had a style of writing the McMahon’s in a blended Kayfabe/IRL setting. Like, the settings and situations they got into were sometimes wrestling related, but their personas were usually equal parts of the gimmick characters and the real people. Like, Shane in one story had a attitude problem and hated X-Pac. But he also was a nice guy at his core and happily helped the guy out when shit got dangerous because, regardless of their bitter feud, Shane didn’t want to see him get legitimately hurt. Trust me, it worked better in the story than I’m making it sound. That blended approach is EXACTLY the same one I take when writing most of my WWE fanfics to this day, and it’s why I have such a fudding hard time figuring out “Is this Kayfabe Compliant or not???”

Regarding recent stuff, I’d have to say @Mithen and @coloursflyaway are my biggest Zowens influences, but dammit Zaynee if you haven’t given me some brilliant ideas to work with! You were the one who lit the fire first, so honestly, any past, current, and future Zowens fanfics are your fault because of you.

Wheeee, that was fun (and a lot of writing!) Keep em coming!

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 26/12/2020 (LadBaby, Boris Johnson, Ed Sheeran)

It’s Boxing Day in the UK as I write this and I’m pretty tired but we still have to review those charts regardless, especially this chart as this is the Christmas chart – at least it’s being paraded around as such – and hence we have a Christmas #1. For the third year in a row, family vlogger, pseudo-comedian and amateur musician, not to be confused with DaBaby, Mark Ian Hoyle – more commonly known as “LadBaby”, has bagged the #1 for the holiday season. Every time I’ve covered the Christmas #1 it has been this guy and, yeah, I’m tired of it. At least this year he felt some stiff competition, and hey, the songs’ proceeds do go to charity. Oh, yeah, and this guy is the third act to have three Christmas #1s in a row, putting this nobody from Nottingham with a barebones Wikipedia page and a couple million YouTube subscribers on the level of the Beatles and Spice Girls. God, the UK Singles Chart never fails to amaze me. Anyway, that’s arguably not even the biggest story here so let’s start REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

As I said before, this is the “Christmas week” so throughout the UK Top 75 there are a lot of holiday songs re-peaking or reaching new peaks, before dropping off entirely the next week. Let’s start as we always do by listing the drop-outs from the chart, of which there are quite a few notable ones. Most of our top 40 debuts from last week are gone, like Taylor Swift’s “champagne problems” and “no body, no crime” featuring HAIM, as well as “Show Out” by Kid Cudi, the late Pop Smoke and Skepta. We can also say goodbye to “Sunflower (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse)” by Post Malone and Swae Lee, finally after 54 weeks and a surprise return earlier this month, in addition to other top 10 hits like “you broke me first” by Tate McRae, “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio and “What You Know Bout Love” also by Pop Smoke, as well as some more minor hits like “Wonder” by Shawn Mendes, “Lonely” by Justin Bieber and benny blanco, “Train Wreck” by James Arthur, “Golden” by Harry Styles and “Plugged in Freestyle” by A92 and Fumez the Engineer, but I can see almost all of these rebounding hard next week so I don’t think there’s much to worry about here. For fallers, since Christmas has really consumed everything about this chart this week, we have some big ones that’ll find themselves back in the top 10 or at least top 20 next week like “positions” by Ariana Grande at #19 (the first non-Christmas non-debut song to appear on the chart, by the way), “Sweet Melody” by Little Mix at #20, “Whoopty” by CJ at #22, “34+35” by Ariana Grande at #28, “WITHOUT YOU” by The Kid LAROI at #31, “Prisoner” by Miley Cyrus and Dua Lipa at #35 alongside “Midnight Sky” also by Miley at #36, “willow” by Taylor Swift off the debut to #37, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #38 and “Paradise” by MEDUZA and Dermot Kennedy. We also have “Therefore I Am” by Billie Eilish at #43, “Really Love” by KSI featuring Craig David and Digital Farm Animals at #45, even “HOLIDAY” by Lil Nas X at #49, “Mood” by 24kGoldn featuring iann dior at #54, “Loading” by Central Cee at #59, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #60, “Monster” by Shawn Mendes and Justin Bieber at #64, “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd at #66, “Dynamite” by BTS at #67, “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring Don Toliver and NAV at #72, “Levitating” by Dua Lipa with the biggest fall down to #73 and finally “No Time for Tears” by Nathan Dawe and Little Mix at #74. To put the dominance of holiday music on the charts in perspective, if we take the songs that are not either explicitly Christmas-related or a clear Christmas #1 campaign (i.e. LadBaby), the song at #38 would be at #10 and our #1 would be “positions” by Ariana Grande at #19. “Whoopty” by CJ, that entered the top 10 last week and dropped to #22 this week, would be at #3. There are 11 songs in the top 40 that never made an effort to take advantage of the holiday season. When we get into some of our debuts, it’ll be even clearer how big Christmas is in British pop music. Anyway, let’s skim through our gains and returning entries, most of which are Christmas or Christmas-related. For returning entries, we have the comically awful “Lonely this Christmas” by Mud at #71, last year’s scam attempt at a Christmas #1, “River” by Ellie Goulding at #69, “The Christmas Song (A Merry Christmas to You)” by Nat King Cole at #63 (which I’d appreciate more in the top 20 like it is in the US every year – this is a classic), “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders at #62 (again, incredible song that deserves a higher holiday peak each year), “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” by Darlene Love at #58, “Santa’s Coming for Us” by Sia at #55, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” by Sam Smith at #53 and for whatever reason, “Holy” by Justin Bieber featuring Chance the Rapper at #41. In terms of notable gains – and I stress notable, since a lot of higher-up Christmas songs had small gains but still good performance - we have “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by the Jackson 5 at #57, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” by Frank Sinatra at #56, “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby at #52, “Baby it’s Cold Outside” by Brett Eldredge and Meghan Trainor at #51, “Forever Young” by Becky Hill at #50 (both off of the debut), “Baby it’s Cold Outside” AGAIN by Michael Bublé and Idina Menzel at #47, “Love is a Compass” by Griff at #46, “Feliz Navidad” by Jose Feliciano at #44, “Cozy Little Christmas” by Katy Perry at #42, “Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!” AGAIN by Dean Martin at #39, “Sleigh Ride” by the Ronettes at #34, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay at #33, “Santa Baby” by Kylie Minogue at #32, “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber at #29, “Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms at #27, “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney at #26, “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #25, “All You’re Dreaming Of” by Liam Gallagher at #24 (thanks to a Christmas #1 campaign that crashed and failed), “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams at #23, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon and Yoko Ono with the Plastic Ono Band featuring the Harlem Community Choir at #21, “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis at #18, “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade at #17, “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson at #15, and finally, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Justin Bieber illegitimately notching a spot in the top 10 at #8. Finally, we can get onto the new arrivals, although something about this next one tells me that we won’t be in line for anything all that good.

NEW ARRIVALS

#70 – “I’ll be Home” – Meghan Trainor

Produced by Meghan Trainor

...for Christmas. She’ll be home for Christmas. I guess she just can’t finish sentences, even though her cover art has the full title. Anyway, this is a 2014 original Christmas song that went nowhere except Sweden. It’s not anything like the Bing Crosby and wasn’t nearly as successful, mostly because it’s a jingly, inoffensive ballad tacked onto a silly Christmas EP that also features Fifth Harmony and Fiona Apple of all people – who probably should have charted her track instead – as well as the deluxe edition of that debut record Title that nobody liked. At least in this, she’s not going for a faux-retro style, or at least one that I can find the inspiration for, and is just singing over this oddly jaunty piano melody – which sounds pretty albeit bland – as well as some swells of strings and acoustic guitar that do work sonically. The content implies that Meghan Trainor is in contact with Santa Claus personally, and that he gave her the advice to be home with her lover this Christmas and... that’s why this charted, isn’t it? Well, it’s not her fault – it’s not a “stuck with u” moment, but it is dodgy that she decided to put this on her own Christmas record that was released in October of this year, which can’t seem unintentional. I’d be lying to say this isn’t a pretty little tune from Trainor and her voice does fit this instrumental, but a jazzy rendition from someone with a deeper, smoother voice, would work wonders with the content. Oh, and that Christmas record features guest appearances from both Earth, Wind & Fire and Seth MacFarlane, as well as her dad, because, you know, sure, 2020.

#65 – “Gnat” – Eminem

Produced by d.a. got that dope

I can’t tell if I’m underestimating Christmas or overestimating Eminem when I say I expected an album bomb – or whatever that equivalent would be in the UK and our land of silly chart rules – from the deluxe edition of his pretty damn terrible album, Music to be Murdered By. This 3/10 trainwreck consists of two hours I’ll never get back of either great beats wasted by Eminem’s corny, stiff flows and painfully unlikeable delivery or obnoxious, unlistenable beats that are dated enough for Eminem to start going on his Relapse “killing women in funny accents” shtick, which was awful then and even worse now when he tries to replicate it. Marshall, you’re 48, and I know that you’re just “messing around” but if you’re going to treat the album as a cinematic masterpiece within the album and its thematic Alfred Hitchcock interludes, you have to understand that the audience will see it as that way as well, so you having fun and being painfully unfunny in the process over cutting-room-floor trap instrumentals cannot slide. At least Kamikaze had some genuine anger and dare I say some actual balls in how it tackled controversy and dissed everyone he could think of off the top of his head. The last record was angry and bitter, this one’s just tired and lazy, and that’s before we get into some of the ugliest bars, instrumentals and cadences Slim Shady’s ever put on record, which is especially present on “Gnat”, a lightweight trap banger with some acoustic guitars not dissimilar to those that would appear on a Lil Baby mixtape, complete with questionable bass mixing and really bad hooks. On the verses, he sends a death threat to Mike Pence, but on the chorus, his bars are “like COVID” because “you get them right off the bat”. I don’t know about you, but in 2020, I don’t want to hear Eminem harmonising with producer tags, making topical and insensitive pandemic references, or spitting sex bars with coughing ad-libs. Before the beat switch, his flows are some of the sloppiest and drawn-out he’s ever used, and yes, I’ll admit, that second beat is a lot better and Em kills it over that instrumental – but only for a brief moment before we have a third beat, which Eminem is pretty great over, especially with that sax and sweet piano keys overlaid with hard 808s and Eminem’s rapid-pace, quick fire flow... and then he raps the chorus again and I want the song to end as quickly as it started – thankfully, it does end rather abruptly. Just wasted potential all throughout – if that beat switch and flow was a guest verse on damn near anyone else’s record (Em has made tracks with Don Toliver of all people, and he could work), this could be great. For now, Em, you know Kris Kristofferson? I think you should Piss Pissofferson. Forever. Look that up, by the way, that’s a lyric on the record because of course it is.

#61 – “In the Bleak Midwinter” – Jamie Cullum

Produced by ???

I had only briefly heard the name “Jamie Cullum” before this, but he is an English jazz-pop singer and pianist who’s basically useless and uninteresting but, hey, at least he has a radio show on BBC Radio 2. Sure, I mean that might have been the reason that Amazon Music picked him up for an exclusive project for which this is the biggest single. It’s not on Spotify, it’s not even on Genius, and it’s barely on YouTube but since it is, I should tell you that this is his first charting single since 2009 and it’s a remarkably uninteresting rendition of a Christmas carol done a lot better by Jacob Collier – and that one’s on Spotify – so yeah, your sleepy piano arrangement and tone that makes you sound like Robbie Williams half the time and Beck the other, doesn’t interest me. Goodbye.

#30 – “Afterglow” – Ed Sheeran

Produced by PARISI, Fred Again and Ed Sheeran

If we inexplicably remove everything Christmas-related on the chart, Eminem’s “Gnat” would have debuted at #20, and this new track from Ed Sheeran, already stunted from being released on an unconventional day, would have hit #5. Regardless of chart position, Ed Sheeran’s back with his first solo single since Divide. Yes, I’m purposefully ignoring that collaborative project he put out in 2019 because as far as I know, it doesn’t exist. At the end of the year, when things are looking as if he could start touring again, Sheeran predictably releases his lead-off single. This song in particular is a heartfelt ballad from Ed to his wife, who he wishes to be there forever and even if they aren’t together at any moment, whether he’s touring or they separate for whatever reason, he’ll “hold on to the afterglow”. I won’t lie, it’s a really sweet and convincingly sold love song from Ed, even if it’s not anything new, it does feel like a different approach since he’s a newly-wed man now. Although I’m not a fan of this somewhat muddy mixing that somehow messes up just a guy and his acoustic guitar, making what should be a really pretty, ethereal and mellow track sound almost ugly, which doesn’t flatter Ed and his limited delivery at all, especially when he starts getting multi-tracked in the second verse and whooshing sound effects of strings pop up in the mix, and, yeah, it just sounds cheap and gross at this point, which is really a waste of incredible content and a great performance from Ed, who sells everything as well as he can. I understand how this is supposed to be down to Earth, so a perfect mix wouldn’t make sense, but if you’re going to make him harmonise with his own background vocals and even show signs of belting, give him some more grandiosity and go full out instead of restraining him so that it just sounds jarring. With a different mix this could be one of Ed’s best tracks since the melodies are on point, the song feels really heart-warming and sincere, especially coming from Ed to his wife, but we won’t get a remaster anytime soon, I imagine, so for now this is just pretty damn good. I love the cover art as well, painted by Ed himself, and released alongside the single as a bit of a Christmas gift to fans, as well as the start of what I’m pretty sure will be a promo cycle. If this is a good peek into what that album will sound like, it’s safe to say I’m more than excited than ever to hear from Ed Sheeran.

#5 – “Boris Johnson is a Fricking Jerk” – Kool & the Gang

Produced by ???

Okay, so the song’s calling Boris Johnson something stronger than a “fricking jerk”, and the song is decidedly not by soul legends Kool & the Gang, although I’d love for that to happen sometime. This is a family show, of course, so we have to take some liberties. This track originates from a comedian from Basildon, Essex of all places, and whilst we don’t know his name, the songwriting credit on Spotify is given to contemporary British poet Wayne Clements so maybe he’s behind this, who knows? Whether he is or not, I can tell you the history behind this comedian’s music, as he has been making crude short singles about controversial topics in British society and politics for a while, including some about Nick Clegg that charted, although never higher than #63. He retired in 2016 but after writing an autobiography, the guy’s back and he released a compilation of punk rock tracks, all of which are small and profane, with a “band” of puppets that I also can’t name. State-controlled Russian television networks – because, sure, again, it’s 2020 – say that he will start touring in 2021, mostly because he’s finally reached that mainstream audience with this family-friendly tune about Boris Johnson. Here’s how Vick Hope and Katie Thistleton introduced it live on air during the mid-week chart reveal.

Now at #19, we've got a track about Boris Johnson that has so many bad words in it, we can't play it on daytime Radio 1.

Ah, you cowards. Wait... Anyway, I’m pretty happy that the British public can stick it to Boris and the heartless Tories that follow him and currently rule the country, even if it is all a bloody stupid joke from an anonymous punk rocker. We can dig into Boris for his failures on Brexit, mishandling of the pandemic, disgraceful reality-star-esque personal life, that he wasn’t even born in the UK yet is basically a nationalist, his history of Islamophobic commentary, his crap excuses for journalism back in the 2000s or even his clown-nose, blonde bowl-cut “hair style” he adopts whilst addressing us on live television feeding us lies and misleading statements that turn into retcons the next time he has to address the nation, whether it be on Brexit or COVID-19 tiers and regulations, both of which are a confusing mess to both sides of Europe that exist to drift us away from where we should be going as a nation, and further into the realm of political party tribalism that we know absolutely does not work in the States and that we mock the Yanks for. We’re more than the sick man of Europe, we are the America of Europe. I guess you could say Ireland is our Canada, but we don’t even have a Mexico to make us look better, we just have other western, central and northern European countries that may be flawed but are far ahead of whatever the hell this shell of a union is in 2020, less than 80 years after the creation of our National Health Service. People will look to pundits and newsreaders like Piers Morgan, entertainers like Phillip Schofield, war veterans and charity-givers like Captain Tom Moore, and even politicians like Boris Johnson, as the “heroes” of Britain’s 2020 but it’s increasingly clear that absolutely no-one is a hero, and it’s the people’s right to be upset. Hence, nearly exactly a year after Boris Johnson cheated his way into power by smear campaigns and elitism, we have this song debuting at #5. Unfortunately, the song doesn’t go into any of that. It just repeats the title in an anthemic – and considerably agreeable – refrain that is an undeniable punk hook. The riffs and guitar work here isn’t of any interest, but the guy’s delivery is powerful and furious, so I’ll give the song credit: it’s not just correct but it’s really good, especially for a one minute runtime. He also released some satirical MIDI-level synth-pop remix with gross Christmas sleigh bells and hi-hat skitters, because, say it with me, it’s 2020. I wouldn’t recommend the album though, it overstays its welcome by the time you get to “Jesus Died of a Stranglewank”.

#1 – “Don’t Stop Me Eatin’” – LadBaby

Produced by who cares?

I can’t get mad at this lazy “parody” of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’” about sausage rolls, or even its Ronan Keating remix, which is LadBaby doing a favour to Ronan Keating, if anything. Sure, my blood boils with the idea that this incompetent Internet personality from the East Midlands – which I think I’m sadly also able to describe myself as – got the #1 over Mariah Carey, or even that Boris Johnson diss track, but it’s going to the Trussell Trust and it’s ultimately an inoffensive, vaguely happy track that even gets the vegans involved. I, for one, prefer “Boris Johnson is a Sausage Roll”, a version of our #5 you can – and should – play on the radio even after Christmas. I don’t have anything more to say about this guy so piss off, LadBaby, you can’t even get the album cover right to the song you’re parodying, thrice in a row.

Conclusion

Best of the Week is definitely going to the Somethings for “Boris Johnson is a Something Something”, with an Honourable Mention to Ed Sheeran’s “Afterglow”. I can’t bring myself to give a charity single Worst of the Week so I’ll spare LadBaby the honour and grant it to Jamie Cullum for his greedy Amazon exclusive trite, with a Dishonourable Mention for “Gnat” by Eminem, for just being wasted potential all across the board. Next week, everything Christmas-related will be gone and we’ll get a bunch of returns and hopefully some new, interesting returning entries. We might even get the impact of Playboi Carti’s long-anticipated album – and I hope so because it’s fantastic – but that’s wishful thinking. Anyways, I hope everyone had a happy holiday season. Here’s our top 10:

Thank you for reading. You can follow me @cactusinthebank for more rambling about pop music and occasionally politics, and I’ll see you next year.

Are you still taking prompts? If so: Shane + Ryan + a witch = ? Do what you like with it!

a/n: i haven’t read the sixth harry potter in a long time, so sorry if i don’t get the effects of amortentia/ryan’s behavior right lmfao. this also turned a lot angstier than i intended? oops. 

The steam rising from the cauldron is enough to make Shane’s glasses fog up. Instantly, he’s blinded, but even so, he’s careful to not move around too much; he doesn’t want this potion to boil over, after all. Slowly, he takes off his glasses and cleans them on his shirt. When he’s done, he jams them back on his face with enough time to register Professor Slughorn coming over to his work station.

“Ah, very nice,” Slughorn says, complimentary. Shane gives him a lopsided grin. 

“Thank you, Professor,” he replies. Potions has always been his strong suit, after all.

“May I ask…..what do you smell?” Slughorn asks, a curious look in his eye. Around him, the class falls silent; very few of them though they are, the entire class takes note whenever someone succeeds in something. NEWT level potions is competitive and exclusive, and that never stops being true, not even in their seventh year.

Shane swallows for a minute, his eyes flickering to the workstation across from him. He can see Ryan struggling to clean up his amortentia; instead of the characteristic mother-of-pearl sheen, Ryan’s potion is yellow, the wrong color entirely. Still, there’s something almost charming about the way he stumbles over himself in an effort to take out his wand so that he can clean up the mess. It’s oddly endearing, and Shane’s heart clenches painfully, threatening to burst out of his chest.

“Uh,” Shane starts dumbly. He tears his gaze away from Ryan and looks Slughorn in the eye. It shouldn’t be as embarrassing as it is, but Ryan’s right there and would probably laugh at him if he said why, it smells like my best friend in the whole world.

Gah, he doesn’t want to ruin this.

So Shane takes a deep breath and pretends to waft the scent. With a hesitant voice, he says, “It smells like…freshly mowed grass, spearmint toothpaste, and uh…” he trails off, a blush staining his cheeks. 

“Go on,” Slughorn encourages, and Shane bites his lip, thinking. How does one describe the scent of Ryan Bergara? How can he possibly begin to relate the way Ryan smells when he comes back from Quidditch practice, soaked to the bone and covered in mud? How can he possible even start with the way that Ryan always smells so safe and warm, like a hug and a beverage all in one? How can he illustrate the way that Ryan smells in the mornings, freshly showered and ready for breakfast?

“And sunshine,” Shane continues, and he wants to hit himself. How can he describe the way sunshine smells? Now Slughorn is gonna think he’s stupid and the whole class is gonna laugh and Ryan - Ryan is looking at him with a kind of intensity that makes Shane’s blush come back. Thankfully, he can play off his redness due to the heat of the room. 

“That’s very interesting. What does sunshine smell like?” Slughorn prompts, and Shane lowers his eyes. Why did he have to make everything so damn awkward?

Thankfully, he’s saved by the bell; Slughorn stops grilling him and walks back to the front of the class to assign homework. As fast as he can, Shane packs up; he’s already embarrassed and he doesn’t need the scrutinizing stares of his classmates to follow him. He leaves so quickly, he doesn’t see the petite little witch hovering around the remnants of his potion. 

~

Shane is in the Ravenclaw common room when it happens; one minute, he’s steadily getting through the Transfiguration homework McGonagall assigned, and next, Ryan Bergara bursts through the double doors looking like a deer in headlights. Normally, this wouldn’t worry Shane - Ryan gets up to a whole bunch of wacky things, after all - but Ryan is uncharacteristically silent.

“Ryan? What’s up?” Shane asks, getting up off the couch. It’s entirely too late for Ryan’s shenanigans, and besides, it’s almost curfew! Ryan has to patrol the corridors soon as part of his prefect duties, but he obviously can’t do that if he looks dumbfounded in the Ravenclaw common room.

“I’m in love with you,” Ryan says, smiling almost manically. Although he looks out of it, he sounds so sincere. That is, until Shane realizes Ryan looks entirely too pale. Truth be told, he looks like he’s going to throw up all over the carpet, and there’s something about his tone of voice that screams instability.

Somewhere, deep in the recesses of his mind, he remembers Slughorn’s lecture. It seems like a millennia ago, but the words stick out nonetheless. The effects of amortentia on a person are instantaneous, with the person who drank it appearing to be ‘pale and sickly’, obsessive, excited, and dangerously unstable towards others.

Well, Ryan is most of those things on a daily basis, but when Brent furiously crosses the common room looking as though he fell into a suit of armor, Shane’s suspicions are confirmed and his heart breaks a little.

“That’s just the potion talking,” he says, tugging on Ryan’s sleeve. He carefully leads Ryan to the couch, moving his schoolwork as he does so.

“No, Shane, you don’t understand. I love you so much it feels like my heart is going to explode. Like, every time I think of you I get this pain in my chest and there’s butterflies in my stomach and - and you’re so pretty, Shane, can I kiss you?” Ryan asks, rambling. He leans in but Shane places a hand on Ryan’s chest, gently guiding him back onto the couch. Shane has half a mind to pick Ryan up and place him onto the four poster bed upstairs, but Ryan gives him such sweet puppy dog eyes that Shane can’t bring himself to go through with it. Instead, Ryan attaches himself to Shane’s person; he hugs Shane with everything he has, and Shane almost topples over. He awkwardly pats Ryan on the head, sinking onto the couch as he does so.

“You’re not in your right mind, Bergara,” Shane responds, sighing. He can’t let himself think that Ryan’s affections are real. He’s under the effects of a love potion, after all. He turns to Brent, who has mostly succeeded in taking off the suit of armor. “Come collect your friend.”

“He’s your friend too,” Brent reminds him with an eyeroll. Oh yeah, we’re friends, Shane thinks with a pang of guilt in his chest, and it’s a hard potion to swallow; romantic feelings could ultimately ruin everything between them. Shane absolutely cannot lose Ryan, not for something as dumb as a teenage infatuation.

Ryan, meanwhile, is looking at Shane like he himself has hung the stars. Thankfully, he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he occupies himself by staring at Shane like he’s trying to memorize the contours of his face, like he’s going to forget what Shane looks like if he looks away. It’s almost creepy because Ryan is so close, but at least he’s quiet for the time being.

“What happened to him?” Shane asks. He’s genuinely curious as to how Ryan ended up ingesting amortentia. Usually, Slughorn is very good about the disposing of potions, but perhaps something went wrong?

“I think he might have eaten something,” Brent says, shaking his head. “One minute, we’re both in the Hufflepuff common room doing homework and the next, Ryan looks like he’s been punched. He practically ran here with no explanation and I went after him.”

“Do you know what he ate?” Shane asks. He’s running through the antidote in his mind, trying to see if he can brew it in a realistic amount of time. If anything, he can sneak down to the dungeons and swipe some from Slughorn’s office, but he’ll probably be in detention for a week if he gets caught after curfew by a prefect.

“Well, someone brought snacks up to the common room. I think a sixth year witch brought cauldron cakes and popcorn?” Brent supplies.

Ah, popcorn. Our favorite thing to eat in the world. I don’t blame him, Shane thinks. At the mention of said savory snack, Ryan perks up and disentangles him from Shane.

“Come on, let’s go get some popcorn. I heard it’s great first date food,” Ryan suggests. He laces his fingers with Shane’s and pulls the Ravenclaw off the couch and towards the door. “Later, Brant!” Ryan says, giving Brent a half wave. 

Shane just shrugs, going along with it. He mouths a ‘sorry’ in Brent’s direction (and tries not to laugh at Brent’s disgruntled expression) and lets Ryan lead him out of the common room. Instead of going to the kitchens, though, he very subtly leads Ryan in the direction of the dungeons.

“I love you,” Ryan says every so often, often enough to make Shane’s heart clench on command. He knows Ryan’s words are the effect of the potion; there’s no way he’d be saying the same if he was in his right mind. There’s no way that Ryan could ever truly love Shane back, not when Shane is curious to a fault, when he stays up late doing homework (and stays up even later pondering the complexities of morality), when he can’t even keep a flobberworm alive? Is there anything really worth loving?

“Why can’t you say it back?” Ryan asks, a little angry. The grip he has on Shane’s hand tightens ever so slightly, and he looks at Shane with burning eyes. Oddly, Ryan’s eyes look very clear, like he knows what he’s saying, like he’s not under the influence of a love potion.

“Because you don’t love me, not really. You wouldn’t be saying this on a normal day,” Shane says. The corridors are getting darker as they travel farther and farther down the castle. Shane guides them carefully through the halls, skillfully avoided prefects and ghosts alike.

Ryan doesn’t get a chance to respond because soon enough, Shane is pushing the door to the classroom open, dropping Ryan’s hand as he does so. He makes his way to the front of the class, where Slughorn very conveniently left the antidote.

“Here, take this,” Shane says, pushing it into Ryan’s hand. The Hufflepuff just looks at him blankly.

“This isn’t popcorn,” he observes. He tries to give Shane the vial back but just ends up holding his hand again. It makes Shane laugh.

“No, but it’s a snack better than popcorn,” he replies, fishing the bottle out from between their hands.

“I really doubt that,” Ryan says, but he drinks the antidote anyway. The way he comes back to himself is almost startling; instead of that faraway, barely there look Ryan had in his eyes before, everything looks clear now. Ryan no longer looks crazed, and when he fully comes to and realizes what happened, when he realizes what he’s said and done whilst being under the effects of a potion, he drops the vial.

It shatters into hundreds of tiny pieces as Ryan bolts towards the door.

~

Breakfast the next day is awkward, to say the least. Usually, Ryan will leave the Hufflepuff table and eat with Shane, but he’s alone under the blue and bronze this morning. Ryan doesn’t even appear to be at breakfast, and that makes Shane very, very worried. He debates showing up to the Hufflepuff common room, but his schedule is packed today and he really can’t afford to skip class.

Shane doesn’t see Ryan very much at all. Something inside him whispers, he’s ignoring you and that makes Shane upset the entire day. None of this is his fault at all! But he’s mature enough to believe that he and Ryan will get through this; they only have a few months at Hogwarts left before they have to be adults and interact with the real world, so they might as well make the most of it while they’re here. I don’t want us to drift apart, to never talk to each other again, to get different jobs in different parts of the wizarding world and grow apart from each other just because of some stupid potion, Shane thinks.

He ends up by the Quidditch pitch after getting lost in thought, and he sees Ryan, alone, clad in yellow and black, taking his frustration out on a Bludger. Shane admires Ryan’s arms, and perhaps he’s staring a little too much, because Ryan glances over at him and then has to narrowly avoid being bludgeoned to death. Somehow, he manages to immobilize the Bludger so that it stops going after him, and he flies down onto the stands so that he can talk to Shane properly.

“Hey,” Shane says, uncertain. Are they okay? Is Ryan going to tell him they can’t be friends anymore? The very thought hurts him to the point where he flinches when Ryan replies.

“Hey,” Ryan says, shoving his hands into his pockets. And then, “Relax, I’m not going to hurt you.” The grin he gives Shane is enough to momentarily assuage Shane’s worry.

“About yesterday, Ry, I -” the words tumble out of his mouth before he gets a chance to think about what he’s saying, but Ryan cuts him off anyway.

“I meant what I said, you know.” He averts his gaze on purpose, staring at his shoes. “I really am in love with you. I have been for a few years now.” The confession comes out shaky, like Ryan’s about to cry, like his voice is a second away from cracking. “I didn’t know how to tell you.” He’s openly crying now, tears falling at much too rapid a pace. “I didn’t want you to hate me.”

Shane immediately wraps his arms around Ryan and rests his head on top of Ryan’s. “I could never hate you, Ry,” he whispers into Ryan’s hair. “And maybe I love you too.”

Ryan pulls away from the hug, stunned. “You mean it?” he asks, eyes wide. Shane nods.

“Of course,” he responds, smiling.

“Good,” Ryan says back. He pulls Shane into the lightest of kisses. “I’m glad.”

“So am I,” Shane responds, drawing him in for a proper kiss. “So am I.”

Again, but Better by Christine Riccio

Book Description:

Shane has been doing college all wrong. Pre-med, stellar grades, and happy parents…sounds ideal -- but Shane's made zero friends, goes home every weekend, and romance…what’s that? Her life has been dorm, dining hall, class, repeat. Time's a ticking, and she needs a change -- there's nothing like moving to a new country to really mix things up. Shane signs up for a semester abroad in London. She's going to right all her college mistakes: make friends, pursue boys, and find adventure! Easier said than done. She is soon faced with the complicated realities of living outside her bubble, and when self-doubt sneaks in, her new life starts to fall apart. Shane comes to find that, with the right amount of courage and determination one can conquer anything. Throw in some fate and a touch of magic - the possibilities are endless.

My Review:

                                                     **Spoilers**

Oh man. Wow. I have watched Christine on YouTube for years, and I really expected to like this book. I was SO excited that I got approved for an ARC. I am genuinely surprised this book is the way it is. And I'm honestly still debating bumping it down to one star.

I don't want to totally dump all over the book, because it wasn't a complete train wreck or anything. It did make me feel things, the premise was somewhat imaginative, and I think there is potential there. I just don't think this would have been published if it was submitted by someone who didn't already have a brand and huge online following. I hate to say that, because it sounds so snotty and cliche. But in this case, it's just the truth. This reads like something you'd see on Wattpad or a self published ebook with a clipart cover on Amazon. Actually, I've read better on Wattpad to be honest...

This was genuinely difficult for me to read and enjoy because it was so painfully, glaringly autobiographical. I felt so uncomfortable the whole time because it felt like reading someone's diary. Maybe none of this stuff actually happened in Christine's life (I mean, some of it definitely did-study abroad, etc.) but Shane was so obviously Christine it was jarring. The hair, the clothes, the computer, the book recs, the mannerisms, the pushing YouTube as a self promotion platform. Even the pasta/sauce thing....it was just...a lot.

On top of my weird squirmy feelings of basically reading about the author as the main character, Shane was dealing with some social anxiety or just general anxiety issues that made her head a chaotic, unnerving place to be. When I said this book made me feel things I meant that nervous jittery energy was just pouring off every page, a whole novel full of second hand embarrassment. I was so stressed and uncomfortable while reading it I really wanted to stop. But I also just wanted to finish it and be done. I was interesting enough to want to find out how everything turned out, but just barely. I was tempted to give up many times, especially toward the end after they started over. I was super not interested in watching them relive their internship again.

I had a hard time relating to or connecting with any of the characters. This was a lot like listening to a friend's stories about studying abroad...or reading their diary. I get who everyone was, but I don't actually see or care about them as characters. They're just passing players in a story who I will never know or care about. Pilot included. Although since we got to know him very slightly better, I did have some additional thoughts on him. Mainly that he's an incredible jerk and WAY not worth all this angst. He didn't redeem himself in my eyes at all. Both Shane and Pilot seemed incredibly immature and self absorbed. And what 24 year old, 26 year old? I forget how old they were when they went back, doesn't know how to balance an incredibly easy internship and a relationship? Not only doesn't know how to do it, but literally thinks it can't be done until someone tells her they are actually able to hold down a job and be married at the same time. Just...what...? I understand there is a time of distraction at the beginning of relationships where you may forget things or re-prioritze, but people can usually find their footing. It was so ridiculous that she hunted him down in New York, ended up going back in time to be with him, and then had one bad day and decided that was it. Done. And whenever Shane was done with Pilot he completely fell off her radar like a baby who knocks a block off a table and thinks the block no longer exists because the baby can't see it. But if she randomly shows back up in Pilot's life he's supposed to drop everything and reveal he's been secretly pining for her all along? Just so, so weirdly immature and selfish. Especially for people in their 20s. Shane, especially, manipulated everyone and every circumstance based on how she was feeling at the moment. And scarily didn't seem to realize she was even doing it. When Pilot wanted to go back to 2017, she convinced him to stay but when she was ready to go back she literally didn't even talk to him about it at all. So yeah, Pilot and his cheating and leading people on was also horrible and I didn't like him at all, but maybe they deserved each other after all. Also, how do you ever trust someone who will be with you while they're with someone else? So he dumps his girlfriend for you, great. What happens when you're the girlfriend and he meets someone else?

ANYWAY, writing wise, this ARC wasn't cleaned up quite as much as I'm used to, so I don't know how much they'll fix in editing. But most of the transitions were very abrupt and jarring. To the point where I'd have to take a minute to figure out where we were and what we were talking about now because last paragraph was Shane and Pilot alone in their hotel room and now we're in downtown Paris with completely different people. Or something similar. The names were trying way too hard to be unique and they were cringey. Like embarrassing to say even in my head, cringey. Pilot?? BABE??? And I don't know if Primaveri is a real last name, but I kept wanting to say Primavera. I did really crave Italian food after reading this book. The writing overall just seemed very amateur and unpolished, and not very well thought out. The magical element was not well integrated into the story or well explained so it felt very jarring and even more unrealistic than it actually was. And, although this seems nitpicky, I had a really big problem with being the top her class in medical school being like Shane's "safety", her fall back. The thing she did just because her parents wanted her to and it was no big deal. You very successfully complete 6 years of med school and get engaged somehow without having ANY feelings about it at all? How? How could you make it through that much work without having any passion or interest or drive for it whatsoever? It just seemed completely ridiculous to me.

So...two stars. I'm giving it more than one star because it did make me feel things. Although those feelings were anxious and annoyed, I was still moved in some way. And I did read it pretty quickly and want to finish it. Even if it was because I just couldn't look away. I didn't want to tear this book down. I've been watching writing updates on it for like the last year and anticipating it. But I also don't want to lie and say it's great when it's not.

2 stars

Ritt Momney

by Maya Rubin

Listening to Ritt Momney is like reading a diary. Jack Rutter -- Ritt Momney’s frontman and lyricist -- writes lyrics that fluctuate between deeply personal anecdotes that almost alienate listeners in their specificity (“off to college today / my first school without friends,” he sings on Lew’s Lullaby) to universal, painfully relatable platitudes about loneliness, lovesickness, and the struggle of adolescence, sometimes in the same breath. 

Rutter’s performance reflects this dichotomy. He seems shy and reserved onstage, barely looking at the audience and engaging with them even less. He speaks only when necessary to introduce a song, and even then he seems bashful, almost embarrassed. Yet like his music, when Rutter begins singing, the floodgates seem to open. At Ritt Momney’s show at ONCE Ballroom in Somerville on September 22, Rutter seemed to speak the most to the audience when he wasn’t speaking at all.

Ritt Momney began by playing through most of their recent album, Her and All of My Friends, which came out in July. The live versions of the songs were mostly faithful to the album versions, with a few notable exceptions. The drum line in “Pollution / Disclaimer” was elevated from soft lo-fi to a more danceable beat that made the song even more infectious, and a new arrangement of Probably!, from the band’s first EP, showed off just how far the Ritt Momney has progressed musically (though it also showcased the evolution of Rutter’s songwriting -- the song lacks some of his now-signature emotional intimacy). The heart-wrenching “(If) the Book Doesn’t Sell,” while not radically different from the album version, is also better live -- the emotion Rutter poured into the song, ceasing to play the keyboard as he shouted the closing lyrics, was breathtaking. After Rutter’s performance of (If) the Book Doesn’t Sell, which has lyrics like “And to the parents of the kids with tongues down in their throats… / I'm sure you're giving it your best,” I was shocked to meet his mother at the merch table.  Like Father John Misty, another lonely, heartbroken soul to whose work Rutter’s bears startling similarity despite their age and experience gaps, Rutter seems to adopt a different persona onstage. 

While the new version of Probably! works well, an abridged rendition of their breakout single, Young Adult, falls flat. Ritt Momney’s style has evolved much since the classic rock-influenced Young Adult, and without the vocal harmonies from Rutter’s girlfriend, the new version is far less thrilling. Additionally, though the band’s take on Frank Ocean’s Pink Matter is inventive and shows off their abundant musical chops, it isn’t particularly suited to Rutter’s rapping, which works better when slower and more melodic on tracks like Pollution / Disclaimer. Additionally, Rutter’s emotionality is what makes his songs -- whether about religion, depression, or just being in love -- so addictive, so taking on an equally emotive songwriter like Ocean (who has clearly influenced Rutter) doesn’t allow Ritt Momney to shine in the way they do with their original material. 

Preceded by three openers (the local Boston-based bands Bowling Shoes and Raavi and the Houseplants, as well as the Nashville-based Shane T, who is touring with Ritt Momney) Ritt Momney was easily the highlight of the evening. Rutter’s bedroom pop translated well to the intimate venue, and the other musicians (Noah Hamula, Jonas Torgerson, and Sam Olson, friends of Rutter’s from his native Salt Lake City) played like a well-oiled machine. Ritt Momney’s catchy music and universal themes make them a surefire hit. I’m excited to see how Rutter’s songwriting progresses as he ages and experiences the new challenges of adulthood. In interviews, he has called songwriting his therapy, and though watching someone perform a therapy session can be uncomfortable, the catharsis Rutter clearly derives makes it worth it.