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miodiodavinci · 6 months

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laying down by a brook with one hand in the water like some kind of tragic prince , , , , , ,

#my break is now over and tomorrow resumes the final hell rush before the end of the semester #well i say break but in all honesty i spent 90% of it working or being so so scared for my car #i did get a little time to clean my room finally and turn into gelatinous ooze #though now i am The Slightest Bit Scared that i have gotten too oozelike and will not be able to fully reform into a functional being #in time to deal with The Horrors #(read: two intensely busy weeks on internship as i basically take over for my mentor all day)#(on top of the big portfolio assignment that my (project) partner Still Has Not Done Anything On)#like as long as i do my part i’ll get a B in the class no matter what but #aheem heem #my gpa that i worked so hard for….. i don’t want it to disappear…….#aaaaa it’s just hard to focus when i am so so tired and really just want like 5 solid days of No Thought Just Video Games And UTAU Dev #before getting back to my own big deadlines #i am looking at this document that i could probably write in 20 minutes but my brain is just. fried meat.#or more precisely i think i can get this done in an hour but Everything Else This Week?#i think i would have an easier time chewing shoe leather than getting my brain to do it all #if it weren’t for the fact that i would Literally go broke if i did not finish all this next semester #i would be soso tempted to take another semester off #only this time for my mental health………….

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robinsnest2111 · 3 months

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maybe my mental health is tanking because I haven't had time to go out and meet friends or sit down to draw or sew or knit in several weeks 🤔

#it's get up for work. work for 8 hours. get home. eat something. fall asleep. wake up in the middle of the night #try to sleep a bit more. wake up in time for work. rinse and repeat #and the days i have off? need 1 day to recover. then i gotta run errands for my parents or clean up around the house #or do laundry all day #then it's grocery shopping with my mother for up to 4 hours another day #and then it's back to work for another 5 days #rinse and repeat rinse and repeat #tbh i don't feel real at all. not even in a i am a creature real kind of way #i just. float from work to bed and back to work and back to bed

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queeriboh · 5 months

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holy shit I did so much laundry today lol

#I get rly paranoid abt Smell #and lately everything has just seemed #idk #extra stinky no matter what I do #but I managed to wash a set of sheets all my towels every single one of them 50% of my wardrobe my shower curtain and my couch pillow cases #and I used hot water instead of cold for a change #and the heavy soil option (which costs 50 cents more)#and I used this downy rinse that's supposed to help get the built up residue off #bc I noticed last time a bunch of my stuff came out literally felt disgusting right out of the dryer #and I'm 90% sure it helped SO SO SO MUCH #everything at least FELT really clean while I was folding it #somebody was eating something in the laundromat tho and i smelled onions while I was folding and almost started crying #bc I got so scared that was my clothes lol #it's hard for me to tell bc I go nose blind rly super fast #but I THINK everything smelled really nice and fresh #except the 2 silk Blankies I sleep w under my head /:#I even soaked them in hot water oxiclean and baking soda for an hour and then just hot water water and baking soda for another 30 minutes #before I washed them #and they FEEL significantlyyyyyyyyyy cleaner and softer and nice #but they still stink /:#but I also can't sleep without them bc I can't stand the feeling or Sound of my pillow #they're my most embarrassing autistic quirk ever lol but I need them to sleep #I have 3 so I can cycle them during the night if I wake up and the one I have wrapped around my face is too warm lol #anyway I'm still not done yet tho!!! I gotta sort out the remaining laundry for my next big haul #(the other half of my closet my activewear and Whites and my other 3 sets of sheets)#and strip / change my bed #and vacuum my bedroom rly well #before I can put away the laundry I did today

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starfrou · 5 months

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Can this work week end pls im tired of experiencing the horrors

#fucked up like 10 med papers #saw my therapist go to the ER for smth REALLY BAD #saw another absolute bloodbath (literally) in the ER #one machine for a whole tower floor broke down for HOURS #i literally almost got sick earlier bc a coworker smelled so damn bad bruh #and the kicker is I don’t even have a whole week off like I’m supposed to #my fucking supervisor is stupid and is making me work 2/7 of my off days bc she can’t find anyone better #jfc make it enddd I can’t art or clean in these conditions

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croakings · 6 months

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^ this user wrote 4,000 words today to start catching up on the nano deficit that comes from slacking for like a week.

we are now only 5,000(ish) words behind babey!!

#*#chatter #nano #^ that's still a number that makes me cry btw. BUT IT IS RECOVERABLE. especially since i'm on vacation this week.#AND FINALLY. FINALLY. THE MEAN PEOPLE ARE APPROACHING THE GHOST ZONE #I REPEAT. we have reached the portion of aial where things Actually happen. it only took 30-something thousand words but BY GEORGE we did i #like. nothing is still happening. BUT IT'S STARTING........#if any of you are here for 'and in another life' PLEASE understand i am going to finally finish it like. I. AM GOING TO DO IT........#i will be honest with you a not insignificant portion of my motivation comes from i am afraid of the mononoke movie a little. tbh.#i'm excited also BUT WHAT IF IT SUCKS AND IS BAD....... i want to get this out before i see it. Just In Case.#anyway #some things that are possibly slightly contrived have occurred but WE ARE AT THINGS. AND STUFF.#WE ARE. MOVING ALONG #it is truly astounding what you can do when you are not held hostage by Job i've cooked and cleaned and written and i don't even go to slee #for another two hours or so i got so much done today and i STILL. have 2 hours to goof off #that's insane. there's so much time in a day. i goofed off earlier also. in my goofing era #<- wrote 4k while also goofing #what is with this can we bottle it. can we throw it at a government building or possibly just my job setting them on fire forever (/j)(<- ;

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orcelito · 7 months

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Oh yrah I had just under 67 hours logged for the previous pay period

Heck

#speculation nation #and conswuidering that thats me on me feet lifting things doing things very actively Well now thats a lot #it's for the 2 weeks period. last week tho was 36 of the hours. teehee.#just. one more day of work. and then i finally have a day off again.#i close tomorrow too so i can.. sleep in...#im gonna go to bed now i thinmk. ill eat some bread and drink some water then down a melatonin to knock myself out #bc im in a lot of pain rn and generally nauseous and i have no clean dishes #just me and my hot pad against the world. curled up around this bitch like it's rhe only thing keeping me alive.#life is a hell and im in for the ride babey #and so writing is put off for another day. agh.#negative/#i guess lol. i sure do be bitchin #but can i rly be blamed when existence is so miserable? i am truly wretchedness incarnate

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motelmaxwell · 8 months

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I fucking forgor my roommates are out of town this weekend and I have to take care of The Dogs

#it is my responsibility that i did in fact agree to and i am aware that it fucking up my weekend plans is my own fault #unfortunately it's thrown my schedule off for the third time this week (various other shit happening not related to dogs)#and i had a bunch of shit i wanted to get done this weekend and i keep getting full up on my schedule and running out of energy / time #i need a weekend of getting everything that's stressing me out done #and then a weekend of doing nothing #and then i can be normal again #unfortunately that will. not be happenign this weekend. so it gets put off for another fucking week. again.#on weekdays i only have like four free hours before i have to go to bed after work #it doesn't help that i haven't gotten to go partying or dancing since i moved basically #i NEED to go out and be a freak somewhere #and i also need my house to be clean and unpacked #ggrrrrrrraweourrrr #whoops im gonna stop venting in the tags lol my b

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icewindandboringhorror · 2 years

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For the 5 of you who are actually invested in the worldbuilding/fantasy world stuff that I post here from time to time, I’ve finally completed the first of the previously mentioned series of videos where I just go over all of the details of my world in kind of a casual slideshow format - you can see it here (link), if incherested :0c

#it's unlisted for now until I finish the series and then I'll make them all public so you SHOULD be able to see it with a link #but let me know if there are issues viewing it or the settings are off #ALSO YEAH ALMOST 7 HOURS AAAAgHHGGGGHH #It's all separated into chapters though and organized by topic so should be easy to kind of pick through if desired #like if you're someone who's seen my worldbuilding posts and is kind of interested but also hates reading the long strings of #text that accompany them/cant sit through a novel about elves.. Now.. you can.. listen to a novel about elves instead lol #assuming you can bear my voice for that long and my constant fidgeting and speech quirks and etc. hghb .. that is possibly #another barrier lol #also please note the use of the term CASUAL slideshow format. I am not reading neatly or presenterly and sometimes #go off on tangents or etc. Kind of like livestream style I guess where it's not a Super Professional Extremely Clean presentation #more just someone talking and kind of trying to go over outlined information for 7hrs while sometimes stopping to pick up a cat #or something ghgh.. There are some audio issues at first too like on and off the first two hours little moments here and there where #the mic echos a bit but I didnt realize there was a problem to fix until the 3rd day of recording :V #it's better after though #ANYWAY ...#evil evil evil terrible project takes SO long #This 7 hours I think was actually like... maybe 15+ hours of footage. It seemed like everytime I edited a video it'd cut nearly #in half (so like an hour long vid would end up being about 30 minutes after editing).#And thats not even the longest one.. the SPECIES slideshow on all the different cultures and groups and stuff?#Legitimately fearing if I put it all in one video (how I want to.. for organization purposes) it will be like 9 hours long #BUT that's all for the future hopefully. right now I'm taking a small break from working on it to do other things lol #I at least got the first video out of the way.. it's a start ... ToT #also obligatory i hATE fireworks so much I am trying to be productive tonight but aaaaAAAA ***#ALSO i reccomend watching on at least 1.25 or 1.50 speed. I seem to sound better that way like I naturally have a weird slow #pausy way of talking I think it seems with pausing a lot. I always rewatch my videos on like 1.50x or 1.75x speed lol

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theygender · 1 year

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I finally finished Nona the Ninth. I have two words:

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

#i read every last scrap of text in the book. read through the acknowledgements and then reread the foreword & everything on the book jacket #and then cleaned all of the fingerprint smudges off the book and tenderly kissed nona's forehead on the front cover #before carefully placing her on my bookshelf right next to her two sisters #if that tells you anything about my mental state #and internally I'm screaming #i don't think I'll be sane for another 24 hours at least #rambling

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omarfor-orchestra · 1 year

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.

#my mother: hes DOESN'T bring his son here every time he has to be alone with him #my brother in law: literally brings the kid here tomorrow and the day after tomorrow bc my sister works all day #marking exactly two weeks of him being here every single day #and my sister also has the courage to say I don't give a hand to my mom with cleaning the house #first of all how the hell do you know what i do here #and if my mom is the one that says i do nothing then we need to talk about who really does not move a finger to help which is my father #another man! how surprising #but anyway tell me how am i supposed to do anything when the kid is here basically 24/7 and i use the few moments i have for myself to like #enjoy life a little? go drive with my father so i can take this licence? go to the cinema maybe?#or just read a book really #we talk about one hour a day #I'm so tired so pissed off by this situation you have no idea #I never wanted to be a mother jesus christ

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metalcatholic · 2 years

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....when you hear the bone saw going outside of lab time 👀

#We took the clavicles off already?#Idk probably my professor cleaning up a cadaver for the practical I’m not heading back in for another hour

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nomaishuttle · 10 months

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HE STILL HASNT FUCKING LEFT I WAS SUPPOSED TO START HIS ROOM 40 FUCKING MINITES AGO

#i have an extremely fucking time sensitive room. i fucking missed it last week and im gonna miss it again bc im literally supposed to start #my lunch rn but i fucking cant and this room will be at least 20 fucking minutes If not the full 40 #and thats only once he leaves. which he might just take another fuckjng hour ughhh #im fucking rly pissed off dude i was doing fucking perfect today #abd normally od just clena while theyre in there but this guy makes me rly uncomfortabel #bc he kept trying to get me to help him open a wine bottle for him and o was like I dont know how to do that and he made fun of me #and then he ivited a random other resident in WHILE I WAS FUCKING CLEANING abd they got the bottle open #and then he was trying to get me to drink with him #and i was like on the verge of tears im ngl bc i was so stressed . so i dont wanna clean with him in there #but i cant complain even tho they like Said you have to tell management if a resident acts inappropriately. and theres supposed to be no #retribution. but apparently last year a girl reported a resident flirting with her and everybody treated her like she was the worst person #ever. bc now the guy doesnt ever leave his room. and that girl had 2 quit #and im like ok. Kills my

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sylvieons · 1 year

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my desire to make more money vs my inability to hold down a steady job vs the countless other things i have to do that interfere with holding down a steady job even if my mental health were 100% fine vs new physical ailment that plagues me every few months that is mysterious and undiaganosible and then doesn't go away

#dot txt #my friend started working for a cleaning company #and it's really casual kind of bc it's a small business #and i'd LOVE to clean houses!!#just once or twice a week #but the stress of adding another job on top of the one i have is too much #despite the fact the one i have is part-time and flexible #it's hard enough #HOW do people work 40 hours a week??#like even if i had zero problems i couldn't do it #because i'd have to keep taking time off to drive my grandma around to things etc #it doesn't sound like a big deal but it's just little things that add up #which is what happens when there is literally nobody else #it's me and her against the world

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starfrou · 5 months

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Bro I am TIRED from yesterday and today already

#had to drive almost two hours to meet my granpa to get some of my nana’s keepsakes #and then I went through some trauma and maybe healing? from seeing another granpa we’ve previously cut off (and still have)#and then drive TWO HOURS BACK #and now I cleaned my whole kitchen and restocked all of my fridge and pantry for the next two weeks

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yatiso · 1 year

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i really shouldn’t be so regularly upset that its always so slow at work bc it gives me down time i guess but. im such an adhd freak i NEED to move and then on top of it. i NEED to smoke and i dont take smoke breaks and would probably get shit on hard if i asked for one. but its so hard to sit in a chair doing nothing for hours on end

#🍒#another reason the 4 hour workday should be implemented #when im sitting on my ass all day at work doing fucking nothing and then i get home and have no time to clean. or do my own work. or anythin #thats a huge fucking problem and it was a problem even when i was taking my adderall #like. youre asking me to hand over a huge chunk of my life. to sit on my ass all day. and then not be able to get much done for myself. kys #this job is scheduled so that its impossible for me to get used to it #im such a consecutive days off every week girl i cant fucking function without it #next week i have the weekend off but. i cant live like this anymore man its not worth a music store job #but idk what else id do. theres nothing that gives me this kindve money and time and energy after work to practice and be a person #sighs

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mappingway · 1 year

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man callisto protocol is just an extremely expensive take on “don’t worry i won’t make it look like i copied your homework”

#how embarrassing #it's sad bc it looks visually great #i'm only an hour in. so maybe i'll be wrong #but the beginning itself is.#when you go to use another color but you don't clean your brush off between colors. that's this

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