ignore this but i need to fucking vent bc i'm in tears in a fucking university and i really need to just. fucking.

my friends asked me to come rock climbing and i said maybe, and then said i wouldn't go bc i'm exhausted and have to be up early for work, and they said we could do something else after they go rock climbing, so i was like ok fine i guess we can go for a drink. and i was gonna meet them at the restaurant but they said they'd come pick me up first and then they BRING ME

TO THE FUCKING ROCK WALL

THAT I CANT EVEN WAIT INSIDE WITHOUT PAYING ADMISSION

so now i'm sitting alone in the hallway of a random fucking university with tears in my eyes bc my friends decided to fuck all our plans over last minute and NOT FUCKING TELL ME and now i'm over an hour and a half away from home and i'm so fucking miserable and mad and upset and i just. wanna scream

all the while society conflates "being an adult" with "having a proper job" and "having money to make arbitrary Adult Purchases" disabled people who can't work - or can only work part time or can only do entry level baby jobs - will never be 'allowed' to be adults

you can say "being an adult is looking after yourself you don't have to have a job!!!" all you want but most people who say that will still assume anybody who doesn't either can't or won't 'look after themselves' actually. and every 'marker' of 'adulthood' that's observable and thus actually counts or whatever loops back around to... having a job and 'contributing' something

...

So I see so many people coddling cis people's feelings about their partners transitioning, and I'm normally very polite about it because attraction is complicated. But honestly, cis people?

Do better.

My partner is the straightest fucking cis man I have ever met in my life. When I came out, it was very hard for him. But I did not know that at first, because he did not make it my problem. He dealt with the initial shock on his own, rather than push it on me when I was most vulnerable, and then later, we worked through it as a team. Because he loves me and our relationship is important to him. He's not attracted to men. At all. Repulsed, actually. But he is still with me, and is attracted to *me.* I have a full fucking beard and ass hair, and we have made it work.

Normally I would add a "I know it can't work for everyone and that's okay" disclaimer, but I'm not doing that today. Do better. Do better for your partners, who you say you love so much. Put your money where your mouth is. If my autistic, laser straight partner can do it after he'd been with me as a woman for five years, so can you.

hmm rn i just wnna be someone's gf. living together. cooking together. just hugging them in the scary cold lonely night :(( holding hands while brushing our teeth. cuddling while watching tv... idk just that comfort. i want it >.<

i need an 18 month coma that robs me of all muscle and fat and everyone forgets about me

i will shut up abt this i promise but like. the concept of being in a stable safe mutually loving whatever relationship is INSANE . like how can you ever feel bad about yourself or wounded or whatever again. it’s like a superpower or somethi ng. <- doesn’t know what she’s taking abt bc she’s never experienced it or the absence of it after having it merely the negative space of it and is filling in the gaps w logic or something. but it’s INSANE to me. like of course i feel like shit about myself i am catcrumb unloved.jpg!

i love when my parents talk about me when they think i cant hear them 🤑🤑

everything’s falling APARTTTT

i think that whole "never felt safe growing up and most of my life" thing did real damage to my psyche lmao

there is literally not a worse feeling that exists than the feeling that you just annoy people.

fascinating message from my mother vis a vis the camera in the living room that i unplug any time she leaves. her reasoning is that shes been cheated on in the past, so shes paranoid and needs to keep track of who's coming into the house. my reasoning, i feel, is that reason makes 0 sense because i am her Son, and if i bring someone into the house thats not... even close to the same thing??? what the fuck kind of logic line is that??? i might be doing secret illicit relationship stuff with... my own boyfriend? in my house where i live? what kind of an example for needing the cameras is that????? shes not in a relationship anymore, my """"dad"""" moved out already. what is the fucking issue here.

I have some kind of weird evil wizard curse on me where I feel deeply sad and uniquely horrible when my beloved bestie roommate is home but feel Normal and Emotionally Regulated when theyre out like literally what is wrong with me good GOD get that girl some therapy !!!!

Why does instagram keep giving me videos about grandparents like does it want me to fall on the floor sobbing today

Why is "I don't want children under the age of seven around my dogs" such a fucking hot take that parents REFUSE to accept and listen to? Your three year old does not understand consent and thinks the proper response to being told that she can't pet a dog that is giving clear signs that they don't want to be touched is to scream at the top of her lungs until you stop telling her no, imho she shouldn't be around ANY dogs AT ALL at her age, but she especially IS NOT GOING TO BE ALLOWED AROUND MINE.

this is a stupid question but what are you supposed to do when you try to put an earring in and your ear starts bleeding, like a lot. hypothetically. if someone was apparently too stupid to put an earring in right, or something. and if that someone had a habit of fainting when seeing or thinking about wounds/injuries of any kind. the hypothetical piercing is like 3 months old and healed, but still a little sensitive.