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nooowestayandgetcaught · 3 years

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ALL 40 BAYBEE!!!!! GIMME SUM ANSWERS

5) Share one of your strengths.

Being,,, prolific?? ?????? ??? ???????????

6) Share one of your weaknesses.

My own mind. No really I'm basically my own worst enemy because I'm too much of a perfectionist and hate myself and mess myself up.

7) Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Stars are the many, many eyes left behind of the Old Gods.

Arya heard this before. She's heard that the stars are the last of the Weeping Lady's tears. They are the eternally bleeding wounds of the Great Shepard according to the Dothraki. They are the drops of poison given to Baelor the Beloved as he laid asleep. They are the immortal sparks of R'hallor's breath. Arya believes the stars are nothing. They exist in a chasm of darkness and death, and no-one is meant to understand why.

Evermore (T, Arya Stark & Sansa Stark, Game of Thrones, 1179 words)

I HAD A LOT OF FUN GOING THROUGH WESTOROS MYTHOLOGY AND TALES IN HISTORY TO MAKE THAT PART. AND THEN WRITING OUT ARYA'S THOUGHTS ABOUT THAT.

8) Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

"I liked this shirt, you know," Will complains faintly.

Behind him, one of the car-windows rattle. A badly burned hand emerges from the smoke, clawing helplessly.

"We will find you another," Hannibal tells him, disregarding the murderer's intense, gagging screams.

"That's not the point."

"You're holding on needlessly to the limited value of your material possessions, Will. That's not like you." Hannibal lightly clucks his tongue as if disapproving, approaching him and thumbing down Will's jaw. He's warm and wet, and glorious. He's evolving.

"Says the man who buys Patek Philippe wristwatches," Will retorts softly. "For his own pleasure."

The corner of Hannibal's mouth smirks.

"And what kind of pleasure exists within your mind's eye right now, Will?"

"Ripping out your jugular vein with my teeth," Will murmurs, stroking his lambskin-gloved thumb against Hannibal's neck.

"I would be honored."

The Crescendo Of Dying Screams (M, Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter, Hannibal (TV), 908 words)

THIS IS JUST FUN!!! THEY WERE FUN TO WRITE FOR AGAIN AND I HAVE NOT WRITTEN FOR HANNIGRAM IN A WHILE!!

13) What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Even if you think it sucks,,,, write it down anyway and then fix it later. The important part is to write and start writing.

14) What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

Thankfully,,, I don't think I've come across any yet.

15) If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

I would love to see Perambulate (G, Princess Bubblegum/Marceline & Prince Gumball/Marshall Lee, Adventure Time, 1358 words) done in a comic at least because I NEED THESE TWO CANON COUPLES TO MEET AND BE SILLY. CANON WLW AND MLM.

16) If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

NOT REALISTIC. I DO NOT FUNCTION LIKE THAT

17) Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

I start out from beginning to ending but sometimes I gotta skip around to keep it going if I get stuck.

18) Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

*shrugs*

19) Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

It's probably a little moth trapped in a jar and beating itself senselessly against the glass, but it kind of enjoys it??

20) Describe your perfect writing conditions.

Wrapped in a blanket, alone in my room with headphones and music blasting, with a large water bottle and a little bit of chocolate.

21) How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Depends really! Sometimes I'll go through and correct once, and sometimes I will go through like 14 times in one day!

24) Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

I have! I will upload it again sometime but like,,,,, the person I had made it for in an AO3 fest basically fucked off and me removing it was me going "nah fuck this,,,, it ain't yours anymore!!!"

27) How do you feel about collaborations?

I have done them! I think they're nice! I do not like long term collaboration projects but for a oneshot, yes!

28) Share your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

@glove23 - I look up to this fic writer so much! They have been battling depression and anxiety, and the complexities of their ADHD, for such a long time and whenever they post something,,, I get so excited! I'm really proud of them! It's hard enough for me to write on a bad mental health day, and I know the struggle they go through, and it's INCREDIBLE to see what they can do! They have been writing since they were young and it really shows how much they love writing and how hard they work on getting the characterization and dialogue to be spot on! Obsessed with their work! (AO3)

@not-so-mundane-after-all-97 - What a powerhouse! Incredible writing and fantastic handling of how she structures plot! Constantly in awe of the ideas she has and when they are well-executed (and they are all of the time)! If you are a fan of Will/Lyra from HDM, this is the person to go to for quality! I promise! (AO3)

other writers I really like are @spookywitchnerd24, @theschubita, @anxiouss-princess, @asajjvxntress, @kingburu, @rapha-writes

29) If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

ngl I really wanna do the "they get back from horse riding and Aleksander refuses to leave Alina's side while she's getting healed" sequel to you are too well tangled in my soul by @glove23

31) Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

Meh. It depends on the thing I'm writing.

32) How do you feel about smut?

I write it all of the time and read it all of the time. I don't think it's a big deal at all. I respect that it's uncomfy for a lot of people

33) How do you feel about crack?

It's fun! And it can be done well! I saw more crack fic being done back in,,,, like the early 00s and now I don't see it as much,,,,, sad

34) What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

You know what,,, I was just discussing the psychology of why noncon fic is so popular on AO3 (and I have written it before and to my surprise IT GETS THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF VIEWS) and,,, I think the key components to answering this question is understanding that 1) AO3 allows noncon fic to exist therefore it's a dumping ground and 2) rape culture is so embedded into US-centric society especially and 3) there's a lot of traumatized people on AO3 and likely creating noncon to process what happened to them and 4) it's a taboo subject and humanity has been drawn to and obsessed with what is taboo since forever,,,, and tbh the taboo is fascinating to me! It does draw me in! I have written for it and I've read it, and I think it's important to ask questions and examine why we do this!

35) Would you ever kill off a canon character?

HELL YEAH. ABSOLUTELY. I HAVE DONE IT BEFORE AND I'LL DO IT AGAIN!! I prefer more "oh my god they're dead--OH! now they're alive! yayyyyy!" over permanent character death

36) Which is your favorite site to post fic?

AO3. AO3 is queen. I'm not gonna badmouth FFN and Wattpad in terms of people who go there because that's your business however FFN and Wattpad are largely restrictive and mainstream corporate owned areas of interest that don't give a single shit about their users.

38) Talk about a review that made your day.

Whenever my writer friends comment on my fic,,, I literally get emotional. Like those are my favorite comments to see :)

39) Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

BE SAD FOR HALF A SECOND AND THEN FIGHT.

#ask #WELL THIS GOT LONG KLFKFFDDF

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peachcitt · 4 years

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for the meta writing asks: 20 and 4? ☺️

okay so thank you so much for asking these questions and wanting to know more about how i write and basically im saying ilysm and also that this got really really long SO if you’d like to hear about the stuff i think about/thought about while writing, click the read more!!

warning for: bone tea spoilers (like. spoilers for the end of the fic) and some mention of religion

20. tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

let’s talk about bt! because god knows there’s a whole lot in there that i could talk about for hours BUT let’s talk specifically about gabriel and lila - our two favorite villains. NOW if you haven’t read bt (you can read it here) and don’t mind being hella spoiled for how it ends, gabriel is the father of adrien, one of the main protagonists, and lila is an ex-lover of marinette, the other main protagonist. throughout the whole story, i made it so that the relationships marinette and adrien have with gabriel and lila remain really complicated.

at the start of bt, we know adrien has cut himself off from his father and hasn’t seen him in years. as the story progresses, adrien and gabriel begin to make the steps of re-establishing a father-son relationship, and it’s something that adrien really does seem to feel good about. and then gabriel tells him that he’s hawkmoth, the guy who’s been killing people. so that’s not great.

for marinette, we’re given the sense that she’s been very isolated for a while, at least in the world of magic. when shit hits the fan, lila comes along, and it’s revealed that the relationship marinette and lila had before bt was a very passionate one that ended very badly. when chat confesses to marinette, we learn that in some ways, marinette still hasn’t recovered from the relationship she had with lila. and it turns out, lila joins up with hawkmoth for the sole reason of ruining marinette in any way she possibly can as revenge for breaking her heart. so that’s also not great.

here’s bits from the final fight scene, aka the scene where both gabriel and lila are defeated:

Within seconds, his body was dropping unceremoniously to the floor, his life buzzing around amongst her teeth, and she was turning around, sparing no glances to the limp form of the man who had killed her friends, killed her other half.

Marinette’s eyes widened. She and Lila both turned their heads to Adrien, pushing himself up from the floor. There was a determined light in his eyes, and Marinette knew. She knew he was going to do it, and he was going to do it right.

“To worlds far and unreturnable-”

Lila also seemed to know.

She turned her head back to Marinette, desperate, unhinged. She raised her arms, the blood and the silver glinting.

“BEGONE!”

it might be a little hard to tell since these are very small snippets, but here’s what i wanted to point out: in this final fight, marinette is the one to defeat gabriel, and adrien is the one to defeat lila. in a sense, marinette and adrien defeated each other’s antagonist.

in the final scene, they felt that they had literally no other choice; adrien was dead, gabriel offered his life, and marinette knew that was the only viable option for adrien to come back. marinette was pinned down, lila had the upper hand, and adrien knew marinette wouldn’t say the words in time to save herself. this was, to me, the ultimate symbol of adrien and marinette’s partnership and relationship; they always had each other’s backs, they were always balancing each other out.

but, i also felt that i was robbing the both of them the chance to feel closure for the abuse they each suffered. despite everything, adrien loved gabriel (his last words before dying were “i love you” directed toward the entire room - not just marinette, not just emilie, but also to gabriel) and marinette loved lila (even when she was inhabiting another body, marinette could still see lila behind it all - her last words to her, and presumably the last words she thought she would ever say were “i loved you; with everything i had, i loved you”)

SO let’s look at two moments from the final chapter:

After a moment, Adrien took a deep breath, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Is he still here?” he asked, and Marinette nodded. Adrien stared down at the grave, eyebrows furrowed. “Go now, Father,” he said softly, almost gently. “Go.”

Gabriel opened his mouth as if to say something in protest, and then he swallowed, glancing at Marinette and Emilie. He bowed his head, and he faded away, out of sight.

“He’s gone,” Adrien whispered. It wasn’t a question.

She rubbed her thumb over the little fix insignia, and she murmured the spell to wipe the hex away under her breath. When she pulled her hand away, the fox was gone, and so were all the traces of Lila’s magic. “It’s done,” she said, and she resolutely placed the book back into its proper place.

“Done?” Adrien asked, and Marinette nodded.

“Yeah. She’s gone.” And it was like a little weight had lifted off of her shoulders.

again, it might be a little hard to tell in these small snippets, but here’s what happened: at gabriel’s funeral, gabriel’s ghost shows up and adrien is the one to send him away for good. at marinette’s bookshop, marinette finds an old hex that lila left on one of the books from a while back, and she is the one to wipe away the hex.

so, through these small final scenes, i tried to give adrien and marinette the opportunity to say goodbye to the people they both loved and hated on their own terms. it was important for me to show that they saved each other without question in the final fight, but it was just as if not more important for me to give them each the space and peace so that they could come to terms with and turn the page on their past traumas.

dkjdkdskdkd that was basically a whole ass essay im sorry gnjfghjf BUT ive been wanting to ramble about that ever since i finished bt so THANK YOU for letting me do that

(ive also been thinking about maybe doing a bt reread before/after i post the special extra chapters where i reread bt and make comments like this about the thoughts i had while writing so let me know if any of y’all would like to see that!!) anyways next question sjffkj

4. share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

"We are all God's things, all made of the same materials as everything else. There is a piece of Rome here, and there is a piece of here in Rome. The divinity does not lie in the place, but rather in the hands that shaped the place."

"Construction workers and artists that died hundreds of years ago made Rome," Will said, and Hannibal turned his eyes on him. A tumbling sort of feeling fell upon Will's stomach. "The company down the road made this one."

"Aren't the hands of God's people holy? Aren't the thoughts born from their brains pieces of the clay that He shaped, breathed life into?"

this is from my hannigram fic the dark and the stained glass watchers and there’s a couple of reasons why im proud of this, the first being that i was very drunk when i wrote this fic sfkjhsfkj

literally i got drunk and i was like. hm i think i will write something gay and kind of blasphemous and then i wrote this fic that has a lot of really really good lines in it that i actually genuinely enjoy sober (if you haven’t watched hannibal and are curious about this fic - don’t worry you can read it if you want! it’s an au, so you don’t actually have to know anything about the show to read it)

im also proud of this bit because i have a sort of complicated relationship with religion skfjkfdk i was raised catholic which, as many know, has the ability to do wonders on your psyche in the long run in certain cases, and ive never really felt very connected to church or that strict sort of religion in general. im still not really sure exactly what i believe, to be honest - but i like to believe in the idea of holiness, of divinity. and, in this blasphemous gay hannibal fanfiction i wrote while drunk, i feel like in some ways i was finally able to put words to the things in my head regarding religion and belief in a way that i think is really beautiful. and im lowkey pretty proud of that.

anyway thank you so much for allowing me to ramble on about this stuff i love you and everyone who managed to read through all of this skjfghsfjh y’all are so strong

#anon #ask #my writing #my writing meta #YALL IM SO SORRY I TALKED SO MUCH SJHLHLLDS #I LITERALLY CANNOT BELIEVE MYSELF FJKGHFLKGHS #(but actually i can believe myself i never shut up ddsdkkskdk)#i really just said: let me info dump about bt and also about me getting drunk and writing about how everything's holy #also i know the talk about religion is kind of A Lot and im really sorry about that because i know that's kind of a weird topic to get into #i almost chose a different passage but in the end i decided that this is something that i am actually pretty proud of #and also something that i think is really beautiful #(and you don't have to agree with me!!! that's perfectly valid!!!!!)#also about bt if any of you would like me to do a bt reread where i talk about meta like this please actually let me know #because i kind of want to do it actually #(and i know this is super long so that's probably not looking super appealing BUT #if/when i do the reread i'll make the comments shorter because i won't have to explain so much about the plot/situation ya feel)#so just let me know!!!

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dragonlands · 7 years

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hannigram - an abusive relationship?

Spoiler alert: it’s not. (But it kind of is. I’ll go in depth about that in a moment.)

I wrote this for a conversation I had in twitter, and thought I wouldn’t need to post it here, but since I saw yet another person claiming that hannigram is abusive I thought I’d post this.

People use the term abusive about relationships that are unhealthy (in their opinion), as evindence for why it should not be shipped/supported. The correct definition of abuse is:

“Treating badly or injurously, mistreating, especially psysically.”

And of relationship abuse it is:

“A pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner. Abuse can be emotional, financial, sexual or physical and can include threats, isolation, and intimidation. Abuse tends to escalate over time. When someone uses abuse and violence against a partner, it is always part of a larger pattern of control.”

So according to this it is abusive, I get it. They both try to kill each other multiple times, they manipulate and lead each other on. They don’t sexually abuse each other though, which at least in my opinion is the worst sort of abuse and I couldn’t ship a couple who did that to one another.

The other thing in this description that doesn’t quite match Hannigram is “abuse tends to escalate over time – it is always a part of larger pattern of control”. The mental abuse between them is at it’s worst in S1 where Hannibal manipulates Will into believing he’s a killer - but this is not to show his power over him, it is simply the only way Hannibal can bring Will into his life. Hannibal has after the first half of S2 been ready to drop the manipulation and violence between them as soon as Will does. And I haven’t seen anyone blame Will of being the main abuser, even though it could be argued that it’s solely his fault that the abuse continues.

The reason why Hannigram doesn’t fit the normal description of abuse is because their relationship is meant to be read as symbolic, not as a literal ideal of love. It’s fiction, and it should be treated as such. Fiction is great, because we can explore possibilities and relationships etc. that aren’t possible in real life. Thankfully the majority in this fandom are really intelligent and understand this, and only few people have failed at understanding what the shoe is about. That group still exists, and that’s why I felt the need to post this

What I believe the antis actually mean when they say it’s abusive is not just that it is violent and manipulative, but that “It’s an abuser/abused relationship, Hannibal is evil and Will is innocent, their relationship won’t work and does more bad than good for both of them, or at least for Will”.

Like I said earlier, it’s not a healthy relationship and it’s not one that I literally want for myself or for anyone I care about - but it’s not unbalanced. At least when we reach the end of third season they are certainly equals, there’s no denying it. I understand that some people don’t ship it because it’s too far from an ideal realtionship, and that’s okay, but hating on it and denying the fact that they’re equals who both choose each other in the end is just plain ignorant.

Will has always been alone, always been different. His relationship with Hannibal gets so close so fast because Hannibal is the first person who actually sees him. I’m gonna quote a Hannigram fic here because I think it described their relationship so well. (Will to Hannibal:) “You always wanted me to be the best version of myself when no one else accepted me for what I already was.” Just like Hannibal let Will see him, Will also let Hannibal see him. Hannibal didn’t “make an innocent puppy become a murderer”, he helped him to become what he already had the potential for.

If the antis and/or deniers have only seen season one, I need to admit that I understand them. Will did kind of seem like an innocent dog loving introvert back then if you didn’t pay much attention to details (like how coldly he treats the parents of the missing girl, how he isn’t afraid of human contact but despises it, how his humor is so dark that it often shocks his colleagues and friends and so on. I could make a post about this, if anyone is interested about that let me know). The first season is about Hannibal manipulating everyone into thinking Will is a killer, experimenting on Will and he does seem like a coldhearted psychopath there.

In season two we see Will gaining more power back, him manipulating and even seducing Hannibal. He isn’t afraid to kill a man in the progress, he eats people with Hannibal almost flirtatiously. This is not what an “innocent” man would do, or even what innocent man physically could do. The darkness inside him is becoming more clear, and even he himself admits that even though he wants to, he can’t hate Hannibal.

Will (to Peter): “I envy your hate. Makes it much easier when you know how to feel.”

He still betrays Hannibal in mizumono (even though he does call him at the last minute to warn him). Before I always though it was just because Will was still trying to cling to some sort of morality, but after Hugh’s comments it is obvious that Will was also afraid Hannibal didn’t and/or couldn’t love him the way he loved him, and so he thought it would be dangerous for him to run away with him and trust Hannibal with his life and wellbeing. Here is what Hugh said:

“I think Will has probably in some way never conceived the possibility that Hannibal could be in love. I mean, he’s got such a black heart. The awareness that they have this connection is something Will knows and is probably in some way profoundly ashamed of, and is also, you know, he keeps coming back to and actually kinda fills him with joy as well. But I don’t think he’d ever give it the name love, because I don’t think he’d ever associate love with Hannibal. – He’s never thought of Hannibal as being capable of love. Because like most of us, he probably had love put off on a kind of pedestal, as an idea, a more perfect thing, as he made the awful realisation: ‘Oh crap, maybe this thing I’m feeling is like love.‘”

I think it is clear to everybody at this point that Hannibal loves Will. His love, though, isn’t your typical “murderer obsessed with a beautiful and innocent woman (obviously man in this case)”. Hannibal loves Will because they understand each other, because they share a way of seeing the world, but also because they have interesting conversations and because they share the same sense of himor and have fun together. In a way, it’s just normal love, just deeper and richer since neither of them has ever had a change to explore that kind of love with anyone else before.

So to conclude: if you take it literally, yes, it is abusive, but that doesn’t make it wrong to ship it, by Hannibal standards at least. (The whole show is a little fucked up so if you can’t live with that why are you here?) Also, it has been abusive until this point only because they (well, mostly Will) have still struggled to accept their feelings for each other. Hannibal has only physically hurt Will if he has betrayed his trust or tried to hurt him first. Personally I don’t believe Hannibal would ever hurt Will again if they were to be a real couple. He also stopped the mindgames and manipulation as early as when Will got out of prison, knowing what he was. And Will has hurt and betrayed Hannibal mostly because of the reasons I stated earlier, because he thought it was the only way to save himself. If they stopped their game of cat and mouse (a game of cat and mouse where the roles change from time to time, or maybe even better description would be a game of cat and cat like Bryan called it) I wholeheartedly believe that they could live in a relationship where neither of them abuses the other.

Like Bryan once said, the core of their relationship is that:

“They had imagined they were unique before they saw each other. Obviously it took Will longer to appreciate that because he didn’t quite realize what he was dealing with in Hannibal, but Hannibal sees it instantly. It’s two people who have never been - I mean Will probably wears it heavier - but still, essentially alone in the world and then see some kind of, maybe not mirror image but the other side of their coin.”

And like Hugh said:

“In a sense the two of them have been wandering the Earth, totally isolated, because they have such a specific and elevated mentality. Not identical, but it is as if not only are you the greatest chess player on the planet, you’re actually the only person on the planet that can play chess. And then suddenly you walk into a roon one day and there’s a guy playing chess. I think that’s how they feel about each other.”

If you leave out the murder and cannibalism and manipulation, Hannigram is about two people who are different than anyone else finding love in each other. Their relationship evolves slowly from friends to lovers, and even though they try to move on neither of them can because they share something so intimate. So in its own, weird and symbolic way, i think Hannibal and Will’s relationship is build on a much better base and is possibly even healthier than many other ships and canon couples out there.

#hannigram #hannibal #will graham #hannibal lecter #hannigram meta #mine #hannibal meta

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