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alotsgonnachange · 3 years

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Mystic Messenger Saeran’s AE Thoughts (.......And Prayers..) #Spoilerz

Hello, I just finished Saeran’s after ending and I have a lot of things to say and I am going to write it down while I'm still all keyed up about it.

First of all… Please DO NOT ask me how much money I spent to finish this as fast as I did…. I’m grown but my bank account is certainly going to have a good ole fashioned CHUCKLE at this….. It’s been a long quarantine I deserve a lil happiness as a treat methinks!

I have been playing this absolutely insane game since I think 2016? When I first started playing the deep routes had JUST come out I think? And I was just finishing up high school and am now a college grad...lmao

I’ve played all routes at least once except Jaehee but i’ve seen walkthroughs of her route (I’ve heard it makes you hate Jumin and he’s my favorite so um. hehe). V’s and Saeran’s routes I found to be so emotionally intense and just….a lot and I've been waiting a long ass god damn time for this after ending okay…. I would theorize and make up an ending in my head but i’m no writer so it was hard to figure out lol. I’m a Jumin stan mostly but I love everybody and yeah I should probably play that jumin dlc too but I need like a DAY to recover from Saeran’s AE. Enough about me HERE are my thoughts on it overall

Major Saeran AE Spoilers under da cut!

Can we please discuss V showing up to the C+R conference room with basically chloroform and made everybody Pass Out like??? I was alone in my room at like midnight just SCREAMING at my phone???? And the creepy ass CG ???? It’s like that gif of sarah paulson from ahs being like “I put arsenic in the wine….and the pasta”

Anyway I screamed at V a lot during this process!!

Loved RFA being sweet and kind to saeran (before V fucking drugged them…)

This is such common V behavior “I have to do it all myself...there’s no other way..” GIRL SHUT UPPP You do this every route....

SO many CG’s and I enjoy them a lot

Saeran’s sprite looks a little TOO crisp compared to everyone else but maybe its a glitch??? V next to him is in 480p while saeran is like 1080p

Hearing both Saeran and Saeyoung missing the other brother the whole time??? PAIN. All my homies know is PAIN

BOSS and his V for Vendetta ass guy fawkes mask??? I literally yelled “this game is TERRIBLE!!” several times at my phone

Their dad is so>??????? When he was sitting on the couch with saeyoung in that one CG while simultaneously telling him to kill himself?????????? Maybe chairman han is actually the best dad in this game somehow

When V and Rika were like we’re back together teehee teehee okay pack it up bonnie and clyde ..

When chairman han calls u and says hes jealous of u and saeran…..HUH????? I’m calling HR

When they go to the apartment and see boss and vanderwood and poor saeyoung is sitting there seeing his brother for the first time in years i wanted to D word sooooo bad like PAIN...PAIN….

Can we HAVE A DISCUSSION ABOUT JUMIN HAN BEING THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE GAME AND HE LOST EVERYTHING IN THIS AE……. he just took the blame and moved on jumin what the hell….. I love him so much r we serious? He watched his 2 closest friends betray him in the worst way and found out abt how Rika abused Saeyoung and Saeran???? I felt just AWFUL. Terrible ...Terrible….

Rika’s change in demeanor from Saeran's actual route is certainly a Choice. I find her much more bearable this time around and unfortunately i think I was too nice to her and ended up with a bad end LMFAO

I was happy to see Saeran stand up for himself and become stronger and confident. You go king!

The CG of Yoosung laying in Zen’s lap is everything to me…

HOWEVER YUP I sure did get a bad ending and I was so mad fdsafdskfdhsf ! (I would be happy to clarify how I got the good one the second time.) MAKE SURE To SAVE EARLY in days 2 and 3 bc the branches on day 4 is where the bad end will show up. For me it was the first day 4 chat and then a story mode titled “SAVIOR”.... If you see that RUN FOR THE HILLS!!

I was so mad! But I had saved in day 2 and replayed and MANAGED to get good end

I’m obsessed with everyone calling V and Rika “that psychotic couple” like…..its true its true…

No those two are so toxic… V’s route was torture watching them go on and on about the sun like yo can yall just call each other babe like normal people.

I respect straight people but not V and RIka that shit was just wrong… Straight marriage was a mistake

Oh lord i also FULLY Forgot Rika killed the twins’ mother…. Yeah that scene was um Certainly a lot but it needed to happen eventually

Like it’s good they know but damn that storyline is just so bleak

I think it was satisfying TO A DEGREE….To see Rika understand where she was wrong, why she was wrong, fess up and even APOLOGIZE! I was very surprised.

Saeran and Saeyoung are Certainly twins with the amount that those two self sacrifice in every route MY GOD…..

The scene with Jumin talking to his father and the other scene of him praying oh my god I cannot tell you how happy I was to see him begin to understand and address his own feelings in a route that was not his own. My main problem with Jumin’s route has always been the trapping MC in his penthouse aspect.. This way Jumin understands love and emotions without being overly possessive !!! YAY also loved seeing him be on good terms with his dad who was surprisingly profound

That last Story mode was Really a Lot…. and Strange things occurred which I will get into in just a minute

Jumin becoming a politician is so funny but ngl … i see it.

Yoosung going to france to study pastries ok king I see u! (it made more sense to me than the vet thing anyway)

Lastly Zen FURRY ERA

MY BEEF With the AE

I was happy with how they handled it for the most part. I think Cheritz heard our feedback about V’s after ending and was like okay….let’s try something different

HOWEVER

Saeran…. Sweet kind saeran… IS SO AFFECTIONATE HAHA….

He must have said I love you like 300 times…..very mushy gushy flowery language...and maybe that’s just his personality but for me it was like eating cake with buttercream cake. It means well, but god damn is it sugary and going to cause a stomach ache later.

He was just… SO MUCH! SO forward and ON all the time in his affections. I honestly felt kind of smothered and by day 3 and 4 I was sooooo over all the compliments… King you’ve come a very long way, but ur still putting MC on a pedestal and probably need to see a therapist.

Nextly….Rika and V….. Naw that knock out gas really ...that hurt lol. Coming from “I would do anything to protect RFA” V? Idk like…. EYE felt betrayed reading that. It was just hurtful. I can’t even imagine how the members would have felt as they were passing out. It was just so cruel. I suppose I understand why but like?? Just TERRIBLE

Them being in cahoots with the agency and the prime minister..HUH??? Also too much

V just felt so irresponsible like I do understand that he ended up in a weird web of secrets that’s hard to untangle but he’s so fucking stubborn he’s SO stubborn it makes me insane. Like sir… It seems like in other routes he wanted to try to protect Rika and the RFA.. But in this AE it seems more to me that he was like yeah i’m protecting Rika and That’s It… so fucking hurtful to me. Both of y’all apologize ESPECIALLY to the twins and Jumin..

The forgiveness thing…… Okay so I think some people will not like that Saeran decided to “forgive” the people who hurt him (Rika, V, Saejoong, his mother). I would point out that I actually think this was approached somewhat well. He says at one point that he doesn’t think they’re good or bad, just people. I think he sounded mature and like this was the way for him personally to accomplish his healing process. Would I have loved for Saeran to flip V and Rika off and kick Saejoong off a cliff? Yea I really would. But like…. If that’s what HE needs to do to heal then who am I to judge?

HOWEVER…. Everything Eye just said goes out the window when the scenes at the end with Saejoong come up… I was PERPLEXED. Like why did he HUG his deranged father who just kicked the shit out of him??? Also all the chat options that MC has with him r like blah blah you’re like this because no one loves you were so corny to me LMFAOOOO?

AND WHEN HE WAS IN THE ROOM LATER WITH SAERAN… i’m sorry but if that were me I would have called a nurse to deck his ass. Cool he turned himself in YOU SUCK SOOOO BAD AND I NEVER WANT YOU TO COME NEAR SAEYOUNG AND SAERAN AGAIN THANKS.

*scratches ass* I wish I got to see saeyoung and saeran finally sit down and have that first conversation after a long time and hug CG but the ending was fine I GUESS….. I dont care about ROMANCE I want those boys to be happy brothers together

Anyway that was really emotionally exhausting but I fr think I got it out of my system after literal years… And I can rest in peace knowing the choi twins are happy. THATS ALL I WANTED TO KNOW!!!!

#Saeran Choi #Saeran AE #Saeran after ending #Saeran AE spoilers #Mystic messenger #Mysme #Saeran after ending spoilers #mystic messenger spoilers

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dahniwitchoflight · 4 years

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Homesquared Chapter 2

Ohh the part where we get to see the Kids rendered! Id seen panels here and there of these three but now I get to see them see them :D

Vrissy lol cute

LOVING that symbolism of shedding the brackets like a snake sheds its skin, renewal of the ouroborous what is canon becomes non canon what is non canon becomes canon again

Also implying that over time like a snakeskin, Canon will just always degrade to being Non Canon, until its unceremoniously shaken off all at once and becomes Canon but Different each time

Man baby Tavros is just like, exactly like a baby Jake, is he gonna get nicknamed too? or not a problem since Troll Tavros isnt around anyway?

Actually, related: Names being associated with Heart should have been obvious all this time as Unique Identifiers seperating seperate people and identities like the walls between Souls, but it’s nice to have that sorta made explicitly clear, can probably add Names next to Heart’s symbols like Hats

and from that, People sharing the same unique identifier, like all Dirk’s simply being called Dirk, is probably referencing that they are all each part of the Hive-MIND of the being called Dirk

I do remember that once in Homestuck Brain Ghost Dirk was labeled as the full title, even when him and real Dirk never interacted, but now here he is just simply Dirk.

Aww, Tavros speaks in Gamzee purple ): That hurts my soul, that Gamzee would have affected his own self so deeply

Good on ya though Tavros for beating the shit out of his dead body, I’d have done the same

On the next note eyy here’s that bucktoothed child that somehow also encapuslates the rule of every strider being attractive-looking, Harry!

His design is genuinely cute! And maybe a bucktoothed nod to how Roxy may have ended up looking in a timeline where they decided Male was a gender they wanted

Now that I’ve been introduced to all three of the Kids I’m definitely gonna keep my eyes on any classpect stuff for them, which may or may not be relevant ever at some point in this comic maybe? Cuz like, Dirk and Terezi and Rosebot are all up to starting another session and Homesquared so far feels very like the “Journey of the Second Generation” and we just know theres bound to be sburb stuff happening sometime

With the main juicy tidbit being, are their classpects just gonna be mixes of their parents? Unique to them but also with the influence of the parentage, or are they gonna be entirely different?

Like, Harry just from first impression I can definitely see as being a Rogue of Breath, it’s fitting so far

Tavros then could either be a Maid of Hope or a Page of Life, tho I’m HEAVY leaning towards Maid of Hope seeing as that progression would be “relying on others at first for their hope, then learning to create hope for themselves” versus Page of Life being someone incompetently acting out confidence and authority until they gain a truer understanding of it and become rulers in their own right

First impressions fit that very nicely

Vrissy I think genetically is actually meant to be like, Vriska’s true descendant? I think? Like how Aranea was to Vriska, they have that looking up to the other and modeling after their behaviors as a role model dynamic going on, so in all likelihood Vrissy is at least a Light player, but I guess in the troll’s case the class is more up to the individual in question, but Vrissy will no doubt be trying to act out her own Class through seeing the comparisons in Vriska’s Behaviour, same as Vriska Molded her image of Her Ancestor as Thief-like growing up despite Aranea actually being a Sylph, so we may get more clues to Vrissy’s class by seeing how Vrissy idolizes and embellishes what traits she sees in Vriska, so far, she seems to be focusing on how Vriska kills bad people and is straight to the point about it, so nothing really yet. Vrissy seems to be really acting confident around Vriska, but not sure if that’s because she doesn’t really think Vriska is all that cool, or she does and is trying to impress her (The latter being very Vriska behaviour lol)

“ VRISKA: If you want to keep Hanging Out, I mean. Which I assume you Do. “ comes to mind, so definitely think this is Vrissy’s behavioural attempt at wanting in with the Cool People. Try to clarify that she is wanted from the people she values without coming off as wanting to want it haha

Overall she is definitely quite confident and is very open with what she knows and what she doesn’t, suggesting perhaps a Page-y behaviour? we’ll see

it would be like, a perfect little mirror for Vriska to see a younger healthier more stable version of herself literally acting and being like the thing she used to hate and torment herself and others about

so yeah, intital classpect thoughts, really liking these so far:

Tavros: Maid of Hope

Harry: Rogue of Breath

Vrissy: Page of Light

Damn Vriska is gonna get so much emotional trauma whiplash from all the normalcy on Earth C “What do you mean they dont have incinerators at school? where do they put all the viciously murdered bodies??”

“There is something incredibly reassuring, Tavros thinks, about someone who has absolute outward confidence in themselves. The soothing lull of following a simple direction is so overpowering it blots out the logical part of him that knows this is, perhaps, the most outlandishly stupid succession of decisions he has ever made. “

Yeah it is pretty comfortable behavior for a Maid class that isn’t confident to be more confident being led by someone, then again that is also pretty normal behavior for someone who has been abused like Tavros has been.

Hmmm, We get into the nitty gritty of what trauma might do to a person’s classpect as well, assuming the system is more nurture based than predestined nature based. I still lean towards it being predestined nature based, you were always going to be who you ended up being etc Homestuck is just like that after all where Nurture is valued and is absolutely an influence, but with Nature being tied up in timelines and predestination, its just sort of already taking Nurture into account when it’s basing on Nature, Nurture is just inherently a part of Nature already and etc

Imode, Silas and Avril are all 5 letter names, wonder if theres any significance to that? I’m reminded of 5 being a number that pops up in Hiveswap a lot, wonder if it just means “Normal Human bullcrap” in symbolism terms

“JANE: Oh, Tavros, no!

JANE: He wouldn’t--

JANE: Tavros loves his Gamzee! Those rebels must have captured my sweet baby and corrupted his mind.

JANE: My family! My entire family!

JANE: This cannot go unavenged.“

good old Jane, man she is just gone full tilt into only valuing her own perspective of things, her own wants and needs and expectations and the fact that she doesn’t even have a hint of what Tavros’s real situation is like, and she’s already set up to disbelieve any attempt at reconciliation with him

“I’m not bad/evil, it’s everyone else that’s out to get me and my family, even my own family is out to get me.”

hah lol ending on Harry’s “o shit” is great

#Homesquared #Harry Anderson #Tavros Crocker #Vrissy Lalonde #Homestuck

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groundramon · 4 years

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So curiouscat has stupid short reply lengths so i had to post this here

Tw for: bullying, fatphobia, discussion of sexual harassment (oh it feels good to have enough characters to write a proper tw)

So it might surprise ppl to know that my favorite frontier character is JP, the raging heterosexual. But like, to me...hes so much more than that. JP is a character that I saw so much of myself in. His social isolation from his peers, leading him to push away others to avoid getting hurt...its not that people outwardly bully him, its that no one sees behind his surface and nobody bothers to truly care about him. People only recognize him as the class clown - no one actually wants to hang out with him. And that...that hit me HARD as a kid. It was the experience i had growing up. I wasn't outright bullied, I just felt...excluded. Judged. I wanted friends but was too afraid of being judged or excluded. And sometimes it caused me to be dismissive of genuinely good people. And quite frankly, that's STILL a problem I have, not even a year after an exfriend of 7 years said that our interests were one of the things driving us apart. My intense fear of being ridiculed for my interests drove me as a kid, and sometimes even now as an adult, to completely stop caring what my peers thought about anything. For all intents and purposes, im a bit of a hipster - i hate on what's popular and i tote my more obscure interests. Because I feel like that's the only way. Obviously i have fairly mainstream interests but lemme tell ya, i went to a christian school in the late 2000s/early 2010s - goddamn pokemon was obscure/counter-culture in a setting like that. But despite my desperate attempts not to care, I DO care, just like JP. It fuckin stung. And now i have depression and social anxiety whoops. Honestly ngl, it got so bad that I genuinely projected that it was implied JP was isolated for being fat/not conventionally attracted, until i was like "wait a minute...frontier didnt go that hard"

But what makes JP such a tragic character to me now is that at the end of Frontier nowadays when i watch it, im left asking myself....DID JP make any friends?

I know JP is a raging heterosexual but quite frankly, he is dealt such a shitty, judgemental hand for an innocent crush. JP's most nsfw fantasy is marrying Zoe and holding her hand, like... And yet, despite this, he's accused time and time again of being a perv. JP is, well, a big fuckin guy. As such, he thinks "its probably a good idea to let all my friends climb up this latter before me, so i dont crush them all if i fall - plus ill look chivalrous too!" But he unfortunately forgets that Zoe has a skirt on and, y'know, not pants. I understand Zoe's hesitation completely - i wouldnt trust a man who kept hitting on me either. Her relationship with JP is completely justified. Like, its not like JP doesn't take no for an answer - he just still has a crush on her. Yes he should probably give it a rest but like, he's 13 and his most nsfw fantasy is to hold hands and marry and respect his crush. Inb4 you say "but its a kids show of course it is-" literally everything about Zoe is sexualized so no the fuck its not lol

What gets me the most though is the beach episode... again, not because of Zoe. She thinks someone has peeped on her (understandable but it was a digimon) and confronts them about it. But koji and takuya IMMEDIATELY suspect JP, and only believe his immediate denial when Tommy points out that JP was with them the whole time. Like first of all, YOU FORGOT HE WAS THERE??? it took the baby of the group pointing that out for you to remember???? Second of all, JP has never done anything to warrant not being believed - again for zoe id understand, a bitch has gotta be weary, but not for the guys? And thirdly, and perhaps most importantly of all, YOU GUYS CONSIDER SOMEONE YOU'D EASILY SUSPECT OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT YOUR "FRIEND"???? i would NEVER be friends with someone who i could see sexually harassing another one of my friends!! What the shit!! I realize they're kids but GEEZ. And i know its implied JP only cares about the perpetrator because he likes Zoe but idc, despite being persistent in his crush JP has literally NEVER done ANYTHING to disrespect women. And if the scene where takuya and jp run into Zoe's changing room to see whats wrong after she screams counts - well lol takuya was there too.

Zoe was dealt a terrible hand by the writers (worse than JP imo) so I understand people being weary of JP, but - in the dub at least - he literally did nothing wrong... dont confuse the writers sexualizing zoe and being misogynistic with JP sexualizing zoe and being misogynistic.

And im gonna say it - JP is only treated this way cuz hes fat lol. Its not a coincidence that the only MC in the digimon anime who's treated like a perv (despite the fact that they failed in writing one, cuz hes not a perv) is the fat guy. Japan LOVES the fat otaku stereotype (America, look what you did, you made it fatphobic) and in JP's case he's treated completely differently because he's fat. Takuya doesn't have an explicit crush on Zoe but just look at how he treats her vs JP. And which one is demonized lmao? Like, frontier has major problems in general, but to me this isnt a coincidence.

Also, I think JP's crush on zoe is initially just flirting/wanting to impress a girl to fill the void in his heart, but then he genuinely comes to respect her and like her for who she is. He likes that she's kind but stands up for herself and even though he's hopelessly infatuated with her, he just wants her to be happy, even if its not with him. He relates to her struggles to fit in despite not understanding how someone so beautiful and charismatic (in his eyes) could be disliked by her peers.

Hackers Memory discussion coming up, but the spoilers are minor/vague. Frank discussion of sexual harassment and...pedophilia i guess? But its like...ephebophilia, not literal children.

I realize the Story games and the anime are two different beasts entirely, and Cyber Sleuth especially is targeted at an older audience. BUT... compare how JP is treated in Frontier to how Chitose and even Keisuke are treated in HM. Chitose goes after countless women and isn't even reprimanded for going after someone he considers a CHILD. To clarify - Ryuji and Chitose both call Arata a child. Arata is canonically older than Yuuko. Chitose flirts with Yuuko. It is gross. Like he gets the physical embodiment of the cold shoulder and you get to insult him for it, but that's not proper reprimanding. In comparison, yes JP is older than Zoe...by a year/grade. But JP gets accused of SEXUAL HARASSMENT BY HIS "FRIENDS" and Chitose just gets "haha good ol chitose, hes a wild one." Plus i think Chitose and JP get the shit smacked out of each other an equal amount of times in the story, which like...one of these people is worse than the other!

Then there's Keisuke, the protagonist of HM, who's significantly better than Chitose but still gets dirty thoughts about Yuuko and is only reprimanded by Erika. And honestly I love Erika but HM plays up the tsundere heterosexual couple aspect. So imagine the only person who calls you out on your shit is your fucking love interest, who also beat the shit out of you with a plush toy for entering her room without knocking, not knowing anyone was in there (id say hes not a playboy but considering he befriends a stranger to practice "getting chicks" at chitose's recommendation, hes totally a playboy) and yet all she does when you start thinking weird shit about Yuuko is be like "hey. Stop that. Get some help"

Also Erika's best friend is chitose so like, someone save this poor girl PLEASE

But my point is that Chitose is conventionally attractive and...well they play up the idea that Keisuke isn't but hes not conventionally unattractive like JP is.

Gee, i wonder why they're treated differently? /s

TLDR: JP drinks respecting women juice and i kin him

#Stormy speaks

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myheartbeatskids · 4 years

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Tolerance

Popeye: Sabrina do i have to have no hate towards Jeremiah?

Me: you don't have to have any feelings towards him

Popeye: is that how you handle it?

Me: that's what i do. I dont feel anything until they piss me off. Some times they happen to please me but i have to remind them i don't like them so its just a momentary

Chris mcgha: like a mirage?

Me: except its real... Like how you can see the heat waves bending in the light on a hot and humid day.. That's as scientifically close as you can get to a mirage... The rest is heat exhaustion and imagination or delusions. So no.

Abu laughs: stupid fuck

Me: their delusions seem to be permanent. And my tolerance of them is real.

Matt: so what Popeye is saying or asking is do you hate Jeremiah 24/7?

Me: no because i dont see him 24/7 and its unhealthy to be so angry and not have an outlet to rage at... So no. I'm not pleased with him the rest of the time

Matt: so she just puts it into neutral until he lays his stupid body in the road and she decides to step on the brake or run him over but all the time shes ready to pop it in drive and burn out on his flesh anytime he pisses her off.

Me: exactly. Like being in a crowded room if hes way the fuck over there Not making me notice hes acknowledging i exist or being loud or trying to get attention from me then fine. But if he's 5 feet from me or being loud about something that I'm not interested in or all about my panties then im gonna kick his ass.

MarjorMarie: like with Declan when he was saying he was worried you would throw him under the bus... Or someone would and it just happened to be you but that was funny!! "I like people like Declan -- The No-Man"

Me: well he didn't seem to be trying to impress any one and i know that he actually does care about Declan and Declan's safety.

MajorMarie: I wouldn't say caaaaare..

Me: more yours than mine

Jeremiah: hey! I care a bunch about you both

Me: not my mental safety.

MajorMarie: or emotional! That's all I'm saying!

Jeremiah sighs: why do you call me Abraham Lincoln?

Me: you look like him

Jeremiah: i do not!

Me: see? That's your attention seeking. Get in an argument for No reason other than hiding flattery then when i actually want to kill you or have nothing to do with you because you annoy the life out of me

Jeremiah: i do not

Me: im absolutely stupid and Don't know my own emotions. You explained just now. Then you want to cuddle and have make up stupid sex.

Jeremiah: sooo does it work?

Me: if i like cuddling with a corpse. Do you get it?

Jeremiah: well im not sorrrrry

Matt: you can go now Jeremiah

Me: yeah you can. Im already done.

Matt: that's how I get. If I can't count to 10 and she doesn't blink then There's a problem and someone is gonna die. I can blink just fine but her... Uhh no... And her face feels like stone. I tell you, she's medusa. That's how i know shes in neutral. But!! When she's about to pop it in park and start ass beating with no weapons, that's when I know

Me: i don't turn on the turn signals... There's no blinkers, im on the brake but i regret it. And so I'm gonna share that regret.

Chris mcgha: and you're gonna hold up traffic

Me: well... Probably shouldn't get behind me.

Popeye: i think i get it. So she stays mad but its dormant like a volcano, like when she used to know me, when we all lived together.

Me: yup, and the release is fantastic, see Jeremiah, that's why i dont need sex with you, being a volcano feels fantastic

Popeye laughs: thats what i used to tell him!!! Like 1991!! Man, that's old! So you're really not mad tho?

Me: see you tolerate him as your adopted child. I don't tolerate him as a human or anything. Except there's nothing i know i csn do so i have to tolerate his existence, except when hes in my personal space.

Alan: so how you do Your moms.

Me: yeah there really is no difference. Okay so take Julia. Cause like Jeremiah she can be awesome

Popeye: ok!

Me: so when shes good then im fine. But I still am not all chummy with her I was... But now she pissed me off and reminded me of some really horrendous shit she did to me and still does. So i tolerate her now

Popeye: what is the difference?

Me: when i think about her i lock my jaw.. Whixh Matt calls medusa. Like teeth grinding which i don't do because i got jaw problems...so i actually put my tounge on the roof of my mouth but other people grind their teeth.

Matt: and she glares

Me: when i focus on her... But then i remember other people are around so then i can ignore her that's why i like noise... So its like a busy house or small house party. Like Christmas dinner. So usually its the TV on the tablet which is Right next to me so envision a house party and different conversation or just a loud dinner even so i would turn to the closest person to me to have a conversation. The TV. So if they're annoying me past my focus on the TV hen I have to stop and kill them.... Now some times people come out of the TV but they should enhance and not subtract from the TV. Cause I can follow along but sometimes I miss something So different programs will add different things. So like NHRA if someone further explains themselves like makes louder what they said... But like other programs I judge peoples personalities. And other programs try to help with my amnesia So they try to clarify what they are saying Like "no hes not the bad guy .... Or no the story isn't the way it seems but the beginning is but the ending is made up" and some stay in the TV. Some are a mix. Mostly only the NHRA makes me want to kill them. Because I don't get information. I don't learn who a person is beyond a screen... I don't get shit but static or crap like what's she doing?? I'm watching the Goddam tv are you fucking kidding me??! Im like im fucking naked and masturbating while tying my shoes shut the fucking door!! And no don't ask why there's a pair of seeing glasses in the peanut butter jar! Go! And by then half the dam program is over and i have to decide to rewind or decide ots a dam waste of,time to,even try to,watch the NHRA And usually it's the latter. Oh thebest of the worst is people screaming "what are you doing to me?!?!" Like really? Are you fucking kidding. Im in my bed trying to watch you on TV. Never fucking mind moron but then is it fair to turn it off halfway cause some psycho thinks I'm their mechanic?

Matt: don't watch the TV

Me: and so Popeye. I know Its difficult But with my mom Julia im fine until i see her little slip.. Im sure you know Jeremiah's little twerks... With her I'm all don't even start your shit, and im not affectionate towards her. I'm all 5 feet over there and Don't be all i love you and shit because I dont think you understand the whole concept. Like i know she does but at the same time all that trust i had in her is gone. Its broke. Its a big sand storm blown all over kingdom come. I dont have it. So it's all medusa. I hear her. I hear her good parts. But i don't allow them to affect me. Its just like slime flying and hitting a marble slab wall. It just slides down. Im still 5 feet over there and dont tell me you love me. Don't have emotions in your voice dont expect me to respond,to you. I don't blink because I don't want to miss anything important. Behind this thick thick marble stone is a very soft and fragile heart. And one day maybe she can see it again but not today. And i dont have to tell her. She just needs to understand it (the wall, my hate, my tolerance, me, herself) and when she doesn't then i tell God to take his little bitch and do something with it. Cause I ain't gonna raise her. I raised myself. And her other son. And i did a dam good job. And i had help from God. So God can take his little bitch and fix her up.

Popeye: yeah that does help!

Me: so you did do a lot of work on Jeremiah but

Popeye: oh! The serenity prayer! Thank you! Now i got it!

Me: exactly! Good job Popeye!

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homespork-review · 5 years

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Homespork Act 2: The Racism of the Conductor’s Baton (Part 2)

FAILURE ARTIST: We don’t get much time to mourn with Dave because the comic flashes to a weird wizard statue. This statue is ZAZZERPAN THE LEARNED. Wizards are another recurring theme in Homestuck. Andrew Hussie once artfully defaced this cheesy book called Wizardology (warning: lots of really offensive humor). Anyway, Rose hates the giant statue and the other wizard paraphernalia her mother collects and believes her mother does this only to spite her. On a platform is a bronzed vacuum (with a place to put alcoholic beverages) that Rose gave her as an ironic present. On the couch there’s a life-sized princess doll that Rose has attached a Cthulhu-type head to. All these things set up Rose’s troubled relationship with her mother. Rose believes her mother is taunting her and Rose taunts her back.

BRIGHT: This scene also establishes that some things (the Cthulhu doll for one) are too big to be captchalogued.

CHEL: Actually, that was noted with the harlequin doll earlier but we forgot to mention that.

FAILURE ARTIST: Rose goes to the kitchen. On the fridge is a crude picture of her late cat Jaspers, who turns out to be more than a family pet. There’s more signs of this cold war between mother and daughter on the fridge.

CHEL: Also, numerous liquor bottles in the kitchen and comically exaggerated displays of wealth, such as a fifteen-thousand-dollar picture frame.

FAILURE ARTIST: After fussing with the fridge, Rose tries to leave the kitchen only to run into her mother. She tries escaping but lands comically in some wizard statuettes.

CHEL: Mom Lalonde is mopping the floor, with no water in the bucket, holding a martini in her other hand. The woman clearly has a problem. Again, this is an issue with the portrayal of the parents; this is pretty funny, but were a real mother behaving this way, it would seriously mess up the kid, and whether we’re supposed to take it as Rule of Funny or not later becomes inconsistent.

BRIGHT: I think a lot of the humour here is supposed to come from the implication that Mom Lalonde actually is a loving if clueless (and drunk) parent, and Rose is reading her badly. On the other hand, something is clearly very wrong, and while Mom Lalonde may indeed be loving the situation is definitely having an impact on Rose.

TIER: Say whatever you want, but when putting on the late game Cerebus Retcon goggles there are probably non-humorous questions to be asked about how screwy Mom Lalonde is as a parental unit if her daughter has ended up interpreting most of her actions as mocking or backhanded towards herself. Like, kids don't just decide that.

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 3

CHEL: Back to Dave, he’s chatting with GG and they’re being adorable. GG comments about her birthday present to John, the green box we saw in the car earlier, and…

GG: no!!!!!!! GG: he will not open it GG: he will lose it!!! TG: oh TG: uh TG: wow sorry to hear that i guess? GG: no its good actually! GG: because he will find it again later when he really needs it GG: which of course is why i sent it in the first place! TG: see like TG: i never get how you know these things GG: i dont know GG: i just know that i know!

I think here is when we start to get inklings of the kids’ unusual abilities - I mean, unusual in the context of the weird world they live in. A bit more is established about GG’s home life and Dave’s attitudes, too:

GG: i have to feed bec which is always a bit of an undertaking TG: man TG: if i were you i would just take that fucking devilbeast out behind the woodshed and blow its head off GG: heheheh! GG: i dont think i could if i tried!!! TG: yeah TG: say hi to your grand dad for me too ok GG: ._. GG: yes i guess an encounter with him is almost certain GG: it is usually........ GG: intense!!! TG: well yeah isnt it always with family TG: but he sounds like a total badass

“Intense” in a world where attacking your father with a hammer isn’t worthy of comment sounds worrying. We’ll see how that goes.

FAILURE ARTIST: Dave has the tiniest of smiles here and in Hussie’s annotation he says that one pixel created Dave/GG. Whether or not their connection is romantic, Dave obviously feels great affection for her.

CHEL: Interactions between all four of the kids are really sweet, honestly. Dialogue and character interactions are one of the strongest points of the comic overall. Personally I have a soft spot for the OT4.

TIER: In my unprofessional opinion, the beta humans are by far the most functioning and tight knit group of the various groups within the comic, for what that's worth considering the overall dysfunction junction. They're sweet to one another is what I'm saying.

CHEL: Dave talks to John, who mentions the creepy trails around his house and how he thinks he’s seen monsters, which we the audience have definitely seen; creepy little black imps with fangs and, oddly, jester outfits. They bear a striking resemblance to the Wayward Vagabond, in fact. Dave makes fun, but at least pretends not to disbelieve him, and urges him to keep his hammer at the ready. Dave can’t find his Bro, but can find “Lil Cal”, implying Bro is nearby.

TG: lil cal is the shit EB: that's fine, you are entitled to your opinion, i am just saying that being a white guy who is a rapper with a ventriloquist doll is not cool by any stretch of the imagination or by any definition of word cool, ironic or otherwise. that's all i'm saying. WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 5

Would a non-white rapping ventriloquist be any cooler? I’m struggling to see how. Ventriloquism, by definition, sucks the cool out of any other aspect of the thing. And now I’m picturing Carlton from Fresh Prince trying to rap with a ventriloquist’s doll.

BRIGHT: Back at the Lalonde residence, Rose attempts to ‘Youth Roll’ out of the front door, but her escape route is blocked by her mother, who appears with martini glass in hand. Time for our second Strife of the comic! (And can I say that I really like the music for this one?)

As with John’s strife with his dad, this strife tells us a lot about Rose’s relationship with her mother. John had the AGGRIEVE and ABJURE options; Rose also gets AGGRESS (PASSIVE) and ABSTAIN. It’s pretty telling that one of these options is an EMPTY SUICIDE THREAT, and ‘Abstain’ has Rose fending off her mother’s insistent offer of the martini glass.

FAILURE ARTIST: I liked the EMPTY SUICIDE THREAT at the time but now I think it deserves an ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?

BRIGHT: Mom Lalonde may be intended as loving-but-clueless, but she’s offering her thirteen year old daughter alcohol, over Rose’s protests, and something is clearly very wrong if suicide threats are a normal part of life. (Something similar will come up in the future, but in that context it isn’t played for laughs.)

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 4

On a lighter note, ‘Abjure’ has her mother offering her A BEAUTIFUL PONY. Rose reacts in the moment like this is terrible, but does later pat the pony’s nose.

At any rate, the strife ends when Mom Lalonde apparently gets bored and decides to do some dusting. This takes all the fun out of using the front door, so Rose goes around the back to make her break for the generator.

Meanwhile, John is trying to read up on weaponizing sylladexes (sylladices?), but is being nagged by a voice to turn around — which he finally does, just in time for a monster to ram into him so hard it turns the panel pixelated. Strife time!

John’s bout with the Shale Imp kicks off with the monster threatening the Con Air bunny. John’s efforts to defend it are intercut with Rose’s progress out of the house and through the rain to the mausoleum. I think this interplay works quite nicely — it keeps both things moving without letting the reader get impatient -- but your mileage may vary.

The imp aggravates John by punching the bunny in the belly and waving it at him. John attacks the imp and breaks his hammer, then attacks it with the handle and gets knocked flat. Finally he weaponises his sylladex and chucks his inventory at it until it explodes into a shower of grist.

PUT THE BUNNY BACK IN THE BOX!!!!!! Now why couldn’t he put the bunny back in the box?

Because he’d set it as his strifekind, it turns out.

In true video game style, defeating the imp causes John to level up! In Homestuck, this is done by ascending one’s echeladder, a series of player levels with whimsical, old-fashioned names. John climbs two rungs, from Greentike to Plucky Tot, and earns 125 Boondollars.

Note how efficient this is: In one panel we can see that the echeladder is a levelling system, that Boondollars are in-Game currency, and that levelling up has increased John’s amount of grist and how much of it he can carry. He’s also got a new kind of grist called ‘Shale’. Hussie does take an extra panel to clarify the grist capacity expansion, but that makes sense as it’s a small part of the original panel. Compare this to the dozens of panels we’ve had laying out how sylladexes work. These panels are much more information-dense, and the comic flows better for it.

CHEL: Exactly what “grist” is and what it does beyond allowing changes to the house, why those changes are needed, and what “boondollars” are for hasn’t been explained yet, but will be soon, and it’s clear they’re something to do with the game so it’s not outright confusing.

BRIGHT: John spends the next few panels sorting his strife specibus out, and stashes the bunny in there for safekeeping. There’s something amiss, but he can’t quite put his finger on it...

Meanwhile, Rose has reached the mausoleum and prepares to activate the generator. The taxidermied corpse of her beloved pet lies in state, dressed in a tiny suit. A sad fate for an animal who should have peacefully decomposed in a flowerbed. Rose kicks it off the pedestal to make room for the laptop.

John discovers what’s wrong when a bucket of water perched atop his door lands on his head. The culprit behind this sudden dousing?

"[S] WHAT THIS IS SO OUTRAGEOUS (HD)" (Watch on YouTube)

Apparently the sprite has a sense of humour.

Next up is a pesterlog between Rose and Dave. There are hints that all is not well in the Strider residence.

TG: hey TG: dont tell john this but i think he might have been right about the puppets TG: theyre sort of starting to freak me out a little TT: You're referring to your brother's collection? TG: i mean dont get me wrong i think its cool and all TG: the semi-ironic puppet thing or whatever TG: or semi-semi ironic TG: man i dont even know TG: im just starting to think some of this shit is going a little far and its kind of fucked up TT: I've seen his websites. TT: I like them. TG: haha yeah well YOU WOULD TG: oh man i wish lil cal wouldnt look at me like that TG: with those dead eyes jesus TG: sometimes i dream that hes real and hes talking to me and i wake up in a cold sweat and basically flip the fuck out

Well, not so much hints as flashing neon signs. Dave’s gone very quickly from insisting that everything his brother does is cool and Lil Cal is awesome, to admitting that he has nightmares about Lil Cal and is freaked out by his brother’s ‘semi-ironic puppet thing’. We don’t know much about Bro’s websites yet, but we do know that Rose has a morbid streak, and Dave is clearly disturbed by the content.

Dave leaves to find his brother’s copy of the game, and we return to John, who, to quote Rose, has ‘just had a bucket of water dumped on his head by the ghost of his dead grandmother, who also happens to be dressed like a clown.’

And yes, that is indeed John’s dead Nanna, returned to help him on his journey through The Medium and beyond -- or at least, she claims she is. John has to take her word for it, as he doesn’t remember her at all. According to his Dad, John was pretty young when she died. Speaking of his Dad, he’s been kidnapped by the forces invading John’s home.

Nannasprite gives John the background of the game and what’s going on. His house is now in the Medium. This place was created by the game software, but is physically independent of it -- and no, he’s not inside a computer. The Medium floats in the Incipisphere, a place outside the normal flow of time in the kids’ universe. Above the Medium is the realm of Skaia.

According to Nannasprite:

Legend holds that Skaia exists as a dormant crucible of unlimited creative potential. What does this mean, you ask? I'm afraid my lips are sealed about that, dear! Hoo hoo!

Nannasprite is somewhat like a tutorial assistant for the game -- she helps guide John and provides information, although she’s somewhat cryptic.

We are getting a lot of new words here, but Hussie is defining them pretty well as we go, so I don’t think it merits a point.

At any rate, Skaia is defended by the forces of light, while forces of darkness plot its destruction. These two forces exist in an endless stalemate on a stage at the centre of Skaia until a player with a prototyped Kernelsprite enters the Medium. Then the prototyped Kernelsprite splits, with one Kernel carrying the prototyping information up to a kingdom basked in light, and another Kernel carrying it down to the kingdom of darkness. Each kingdom has four Spires, and when the Kernel reaches one, it propagates the prototyping information to the kingdom’s forces.

This is why the imps were dressed as jesters: John prototyped his Kernel with the harlequin doll, and whatever the other players prototype with will influence what forms the soldiers take. When the first Kernels reach the spires, the battlefield gets bigger and the war begins for real.

Oh, right -- and the forces of light are always destined to lose.

So what’s the point? Apparently, that’s for John to find out. For now, though, he needs to head towards Skaia, going through the first of seven Gates. The first Gate is situated directly above John’s house, but the others are going to be harder to reach. We now find out what all that Build Grist is for: To get to the Gate, they need to build the house higher to reach it. And then they can rescue John’s Dad, solve the ultimate riddle, and save the Earth from destruction!

...or not.

Nope, according to Nannasprite, Earth is doomed. Done for. Kaput. There is nothing they can do to save it.

John is pretty bummed about this. He isn’t cheered by Nanna’s assurance that he has a much more important purpose than saving the planet, although she fails to elaborate on that point and instead floats off to make cookies.

CHEL: I think here we earn another couple of points.

HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 2 HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 11 Failing the Turing Test - wherein the character has no reactions whatsoever While the emotional lives of characters should not be described in their every tiny wrinkle, characters must have emotional lives. When someone boos them off a stage, they should experience chagrin. When they fall from a tenth-storey window, they should feel alarm. The writer should not count on dialogue like “Yikes!” to get the point across.

Brief confusion and feeling “bummed out” by the news that one’s entire planet is doomed does not count as an adequate reaction. I’d expect more fear, more concern. As pointed out before, doesn’t John have any friends other than Dave, Rose, and GG? His Dad has friends, wouldn’t he be concerned for them on Dad’s behalf? If nothing else, more curiosity about this “more important” business?

BRIGHT: Now, I could actually buy this in some circumstances — John is a teenager, doesn’t seem to have close connections outside those we see on screen, and he’s been having one hell of a weird day. I wouldn’t be surprised if grasping the scope of destruction was simply beyond him at this point. It’s a lot to take in, and it’s only been a few hours since life went to hell in a handbasket — not to mention, he’s in an active combat zone. There’s a lot going on, and if he was to shove it out of his mind while he dealt with the immediate crisis, I could see that as pretty realistic.

Of course, that would depend on him actually reacting at some later point, when he had a chance to slow down and it could sink in. As it stands...well, if that does happen, we never see it.

CHEL: Does this also count as “Oh, Don’t Mind Him” for the How Not To score?

BRIGHT: I think so, yes.

CHEL: Then here it goes!

HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC: 12 Oh, Don’t Mind Him - where a character’s problems remain unexplored In real life, people are riddled with chronic problems that are not addressed for long periods of time, if ever. But in fiction, all problems are just the opening chords of a song. If there is a brother who has a problem with alcohol, a child who has lost her dog, or even someone whose car has simply broken down, the reader will worry about those people and expect the author to do something about it.

Technically, this could count for seven billion or so points, minus any people who successfully entered their own game sessions, but we don’t want to get out of hand here and it really only counts as one big problem.

However! I am very fond of this idea in theory. The obvious option would be that the purpose of the game is to save the player’s homeworld. We’ve all seen the “save the homeworld” idea in scifi and fantasy before. Here, the homeworld is beyond saving, but there is another option, and exploring that is the storyline. The forces of light cannot have a traditional victory; the protagonists must find a victory on the terms they have. It’s not a theme one sees often, and I like it.

FAILURE ARTIST: John and the other Beta Kids’ lack of angst of the destruction of their planet doesn’t stick out as much here as it will later when almost everything else is milked for angst.

CHEL: I’m not really sure the planet being destroyed is a great basis for a Rule-of-Funny-based story if that was what he was going for, to be honest. “Billions died, lol!”

#homestuck #let's read homestuck #homestuck meta #homespork #homestuck reread #homestuck review #sporking #literary critique

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fightevilandthengetblownup · 4 years

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Chat thibg

Grey I think he’s also uncomfortable because in this episode it shows Jo with black eyes. And now he’s going to go drink like he hasnt in a while. Gray’s always happy when Grey’s upset

Grey And there’s those eyes

Jo Hiya demon!Jo! ….The real question is has he actually seen Abandon All Hope before in its full LOL …he really hasnt gone and had a drink in a while has he. Oh dear. LOOOOOL That’s very very true

Grey Yes. >_> He doesnt like it. At all. No he hasnt, not for a while.

Jo …Its a sad moment when its one of Jo’s favourites because she’s proud of herself right up until Ellen stays and she dies before she can do her duty… But yeah makes sense he doesnt like it. ….The poor thing. You shouldnt have let me be mean!

Grey Grey hates the episode from start to finish and really really dislikes Sam and Dean during it. And Cas. He deserved it, he’s starting his punishment early

Jo ….what on…get him to explain that because what…. LOL Well…glad to help then? *pets him and points him towards Jo’s stash*

Grey Because Sam and Dean drag Jo along in his opinion then Dean is the reason she gets hurt and it was their plan. As far as Cas it’s because had he not “gotten himself trapped like a stupid shit” he’d have been able to heal her and take her and Ellen out of there when it got bad. Oh no he knows not to touch her stuff, he’ll get his own

Grey And by drag Jo along he doesnt mean against her will

Grey He means like she gets caught up in their wake of self destruction and bad luck

Jo Jo would hiss at the idea of someone saying she gets caught up in other people’s things and she didn’t go because she wanted to. But I guess that makes sense. *gives him a chocoate for adding ‘and Ellen’* He;s more than welcome to it, not like she’d notice/not just think she had it without realsing

Grey Grey knows she wanted to go but he also knows if the Winchesters had never crossed paths with her she’d have never gone on that suicide mission. He added Ellen because he knows Jo would have gone no where without her mom. …. How much does Jo drink that her entire stash could be gone without her realizing she drank it?

Jo He should know that if she had never crossed paths with them she’d either have been a depressed little bar maid or gotten herself killed on her first hunt. True true. ….well she’d notice the entire stash gone, but she’s got a lot of the same stuff or rather she’s got a lot of whiskey, scotch, rum and vodka and never knows how much she has of what and wouldn’t be surprised to find a fair few

Jo empty ones because she only tends to go restock when she’s out of everything

Grey That’s true but during AAH, Grey really doesnt care about anything but the fact the “Winchester Curse” is getting Jo killed just because she’s around them. Grey would empty out her stash as he is right now

Jo …Well now Jo’s just pouting because eavesdroppers never here things they want to blondie! Well best he not touch hers then

Grey LOL why is she pouting?

Jo Because… …she was really proud of herself uring that time. Like really /really/ proud of herself. …If Ellen had just unlocked the doors, given her the fuse and ran, Jo would have actually died happy that time. Because she was doing what she was supposed to do, what she’d always wanted to do, ever since she was a little girl and she was finally getting to do it and be treated like a mature

Jo adult and so she was really happy, honestly. The only thing that made her unhappy was that she was too useless to be able to do it herself fully.

Jo (Which meant Ellen died which she didn’t want at all)

Grey She always wanted to die for a cause?

Jo …she wanted to be a hero like her dad.

Jo She wanted to be treated like an equal and an adult and die saving people like her dad di.

Jo Die fighting too..

Grey That’s horrible

Jo You thought it wouldn’t be? This is Jo we’re talking about.

Grey Not the treated like the equal part the fact she’s always wanted to die for something

Grey See this is why Grey panicked

Jo *nodnod*

Grey She was all set to do it again

Jo Jo… wants to be like her dad, she wants him to be proud of her. That’s pretty much the one thing that almost everything can eventually be drawn back to by playing the ‘why’ game.

Jo *nodnod* Course she was.

Grey Now Grey is /pissed/ and having a fit

Jo LOL …whats he pissed and having a fit at?

Grey He cant stand the martyring

Grey Grey doesnt think dying makes you a hero if you go around seeking death he thinks it makes you stupid

Grey And selfish and a lot of other unpleasant adjectives he’s loudly yelling

Grey (remember that was one of the problems he had with Anna? How she was all holier than thou about her being willing to get herself killed for anyone and everyone)

Jo Jo would like to clarify she’s not /seeking/ death and never has been trying to /die/; just… be something that she can be proud of in herself and that she thinks her dad would be proud of - its not about thinking the dying makes a hero but the motivations and the reasons behind whatever actions you make, whether you do die or not. She just wasn’t afraid of the dying. And now she’s pouting and

Jo sulking even more. (Thats very true - though the difference is that Anna is holier than thou about it and preachy over it, while Jo is just 'if I die, I die; what matters is X’ where X isn’t 'that you wont’)

Grey Grey’s saying she’s fooling herself by saying she doesn’t go out seeking death, that all hunters do one way or another and if she really wants to do her dad’s memory justice she won’t keep throwing her life away like it’s nothing. (Yeah but it’s still reminding Grey of the unpleasantness he had with her)

Grey Grey honey it’s kind of pointless to argue with her about this when you’ve already temporarily dampened the part you dont like

Jo Jo’s saying that if that’s his opinion than she should just stay at home and /do/ nothing; that he knows her better than to think she /wants/ to die given he knows where she /thinks/ she’s going and that he 'doesn’t understand!’ and getting huffy. (True true. Poor Grey) It really kind of is, but… and thats cool

Grey He says doesnt want her to do nothing, he wants her to not take chances and not go running headfirst into dying. And he says no he doesnt understand and he won’t ever understand how she thinks that it could ever be fine to die if she thinks she’s headed downstairs. I’m still sorry about that, something started glitching and it was not beeping me or doing any sounds.

Grey (And the first song I get to hear after fixing sound is Heavy in Your Arms nice one playlist)

Jo She’s saying that she’s not and not going to, that he’s made himself perfectly clear in past and she’s not going to be so 'to use his word - stupid!’; And that that isn’t what he doesn’t understand. (That’s cool hun, honest *hugs* dammit playlist)

Grey Grey’s asking then what is she talking about because there’s a lot of things he doesn’t understand about Jo and while he loves some of those things he really doesnt know what to do with the other ones. (*hugs* Appropriate time to play it though)

Jo She’s saying that he doesn’t understand about family, the way it is with human’s - or at least not the way it is to her and that he might think he does, but he doesn’t get it and he doesn’t understand or otherwise he wouldn’t think that she’s throwing her life away trying to be something for her dad. And that she’s sorry if that was snippy but.. (It really really was.)

Grey He’s saying he doesnt think her dad would have wanted her to get hurt for him if her mother’s attitude is anything to go by about how family is treated. But she’s right and he doesn’t understand about family or people because he’s not either. (*Trying to shush Grey because he’s putting his foot in it* this is why you do not just drink and drink silly monster*)

Jo Jo says that he didn’t know her dad and she’s a great deal more like him that her mom. That her mom never liked her dad hunting the same as she’s never liked Jo doing it, and that she’s not /trying/ to get hurt or die or whatever else for him - she’s trying to do what she thinks he would have done from what she remembers him of being like. And that it’s okay that he doesn’t understand and it

Jo 'doesn’t really matter much really’. (Oh Grey, you silly little thing you.)

Grey Grey’s saying if her dad was a person who wanted her to go out and get hurt for his sake or the sake of pride he wouldnt have liked him. (Meanwhile Gray is watching with great interest)

Jo She’s huffing and saying that that wasn’t the kind of person her dad was either! That her dad was strong and brave and treated people right and he wanted her to be safe and able to protect herself and other’s. And that’s what she’s doing, protecting herself and other people who can’t protect themselves. (LOL Why so? What’s he interested in mostly of what is thinging?)

Grey Grey moving into a silence and having some more drinks. (He thinks there’s an explosion immenient somewhere in here and that sooner or later Grey or Jo is going to trip the switch and he’s going to get to see fireworks)

Jo Jo’s huffing again and muttering that he would have liked him. (Of course he does…Whose he putting money on triping it?)

Grey Grey’s saying her dad never would have liked him because he’s a monster and he’s with his little girl. "That’s like two big no no. First no no is touching his daughter and then second is being something he’d hunt in the dark.“ (Grey. he thinks Grey is going to say something stupid.)

Jo Jo’s shaking her head and saying that she meant /Grey/ would have liked him. “Might have been his little girl but I was his only one and he only ever wanted me to be happy, whatever that meant - hunting, baking, riding on his knee and driving the wheel..” (LOL …I never know with these two)

Grey Grey’s saying saying it would have been a mutual dislike because her dad probably would have shot him. And he doesnt mind getting shot over Jo but it’s hard not to take it hard when that happens. (Grey is getting to where he’s noticably being effected by the alcohol now)

Jo Jo is making a hand for his bottle and saying that if he thinks someone like her’s something that he 'doesnt mind’ being shot over then he’s in no position to comment over what she’s willing to get hurt over or was willing to. “Whichever.” (This should be an amusement)

Grey Grey’s shaking his head and saying getting shot isnt going to mortally wound him, usually and that it’s unpleasant but not anything he can’t fix quick. Jo can’t just mend bones if she hurt herself. And he’s moving so the bottle is furher out of her reach/sight. (Stupid thing)

Jo She’s saying she damned well can, it just takes her a little longer than the 'rest’ of them, and that she used to have a /lot/ more scars than she has now that she’d be able to completely prove it to him that she can 'recover’ eventually, mostly. And that doesn’t change the fact he’s seemingly dumb enough to wear himself out over her, so her point still remains, and that he should maybe put the

Jo bottle down.

Grey Grey says she can’t have his bottle because it’s his. And that maybe he was a little self-destructive there, so that’s exactly his point those kind of things are problematic for everyone. And he’s sorry for being stupid.

Jo Jo’s saying shes not asking for his bottle just that he should put it down for a bit; that that was stupider than any of her own old habits and that the closest she’d gotten any time recently to anything quite that stupid was… not anything anywhere near that crazy. And how she doesn’t understand it’s alright for him to do something like that, yet he hates the idea that she’s slightly sacrificial

Grey Grey says it’s not alright, it was dumb and he knows it and he doesnt want Jo making the same error.

Jo She says that that just because someone wants something doesn’t mean it’s going to happen and snapping her fingers for the bottle.

Grey Grey’s mumbling he doesnt get why Jo doesnt want him to want her to be safe and that noooooo she can’t have it

Jo Jo is huffing that it’s not hi-… that he can want that all he wants but it doesn’t mean he’d get it the way he wanted it if he got it at all. And that he’s to hand it over or she’ll take it from him and drink whatever is left of it.

Grey Grey says fine take it, he’ll just get more

Grey You need bed Jesse

Jo Jo’s grumbling and setting it away from him regardless. She’s also muttering something about people drinking alone

Jo I’, good, its a Friday and tomorrow I dont have to get upa t all

Grey Grey’s got another full bottle and says he’s never alone while he’s in a meatsuit. (WAY TO BE CREEPY GREY)

Grey Are you sure?

Jo She’s pouting. A lot. A lot a lot a lot. And that she doesn’t want to think about that… she doesn’t have a word for Jack. (LOL CREEP FACTOR LEVEL MAXIMUM)

Jo wow, that was a misplace hands too far to the right, I’m sure - no work, no uni, no picking people up. Sleep in day.

Grey “But see I can never drink alone. And asshole is the word you’re looking for.” (How creeped out does that make Jo?) Okay just tell me when you get sleepy and I will put this drunk monster to bed

Jo “Unless you’re talking to him while you’re drinking, it’s still alone. I don’t even think that quite… just… He’s more loathesome than your brother, Grey! And put that… put that away.” (A fair bit if only because she doesnt like Jack and she is often quite worried about what he must say and think and annoy Grey with) No problemo c:

Grey “We can talk in here, I just don’t like to. It’s not like he does anything but curse me for hijacking him. You want me to call him a monster? Why?” (Of course she doesnt. And yeah usually Grey ignores him unless it’s something about Jo then he walls him off)

Jo “Yeah well, it’s better for everyone that he’s in there the fuckin’ ..nrgh! I liked it better when you were being insensetive about my dad than talking about that ….that despicable excuse for a human being. He is a monster, of his own damn makin’. And because!” (*nodnod* I’m guessing 75% bitching at grey 15% bitching about Jo and 10% other cruel remarks?)

Grey “I was being insensitive? I’m sorry. He doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong, which is why he’ll never get his life back. Because why?” (Yep. Accurate breakdown)

Jo “You’re drinking, you get /some/ leway.. Though you’re going to have to learn that my dad’s one of those things you don’t understand you’re either gonna have to love or just not try to work out what to do 'bout. …sound about right. Fine! You drink away then!”

Grey “I’m not loving anything that gets you blown up. Are you mad?” (He turns into an annoying four year old when he’s drunk with the questions)

Jo “Technically I was dead before then, it was mom who died in the explosion.. I’m not mad.” (LOL he does. It’s cute in a 'oh god here we go’ way)

Grey “…. Okay I’m not loving anything that gets you mauled by a hellhound and gets your mom blown up. Really?”

Jo “I thought you…nevermind. Nevermind, nevermind, nevermind.”

Grey “Thought I what? Tell meeeeeeee”

Jo “I said nevermind, not important. ….god you’re ridiculous when you’re drunk.”

Grey “No tell me. Pleeeeeeeeeeease.”

Jo “I thought you.. Well, I was what got me mauled by a hellhound and got my mom blown up, so I thought.. it’s unimportant. And I’m not mad, and you’re still ridiculous.”

Grey “No that’s not… I mean the impulse not you. I still love you just not the part of you that wants to get you hurt and thinks you’re not worth anything.”

Jo “It wasn’t an impulse…it was the right thing to do…” (I love how awkward Jo just completely got)

Grey “Nothing that hurts you like that could have been the right thing to do. What’s the matter?” (Because of the “I love you”?)

Jo “…you don’t know what could have happened if that hadn’t occured though, Grey. …who knows what would have happened, I heard from Dean what he saw the future to look like and he hadn’t heard any news of what happened to /me/ in that world… Nothing’s the matter.” (Yeah, though she got awkward a little bit the second she said 'I thought you..’ because she knew where her brain was going and

Jo made her slightly awkward then a little more awkward until the “I still lvoe you” really hit the top point thus far)

Grey “But how can something that hurts you be the right thing? Okay.” (Did she really think he didn’t love her?)

Jo “Because I’m just one person…the right thing doesn’t always benefit the person doin’ it, you have to weigh one person’s life against the future of mankind…and in that? I don’t think I’d come out on top.” (No, but she was half joking and then realised she was serious and then realised what she was saying.)

Grey “You would if I was making the choice.” (She can comfort herself with the fact he loves her. He doesnt understand her sometimes and he gets frustrated but he loves her, also drunk Grey is painfully honest)

Jo “Grey!” (She’s more just gaping at him not quite sure how to feel about the idea he’d pu her above the future of the whole of mankind. But that’s slightly comforting, that even if she frustrates him and he doesnt understand her all the time he does anyway)

Grey “I know, I’m terrible and evil and a monster for saying it. Not a good guy.” (*nods* Understandably. Yeah even when he’s spitting mad at her he loves her)

Jo “I..don’t think you would. And I don’t think you’re any of that. Just.. I didn’t expect..” (She’s just blinking at him and if he didn’t smell like a gin joint and wasn’t acting so weird she’d kiss him for it even if it is not what she wants to hear. LOL True true. ….he ever get the same 'sometimes I want to choke you’ feelings about Jo that everyone else gets?)

Grey “I would pick you though. I know me, there’s a reason I’m a monster. I would pick your safety over an earthful of strangers.” (Awwww. He wants to cuddly but realizes she doesnt want to be close to him because of the smell so he hasnt moved to. Not exactly. I mean he does, just not for the same reason Anna does)

Jo “But…you like people, you don’t want to be a monster, you want to do the good thing, the right thing..right? So you wouldn’t. Even if.” (Ah, she’ll move in a second to cuddle so long as he doesnt screw up and upset her. Yeah everyone gets it for different reasons.)

Grey “I do, I mean I don’t want to hurt anyone and I don’t try to hurt someone on purpose. But I’m still not good. I’ll always be a monster. I would pick you.” (Incoming screw up probably. And he’s getting so sad right now because now he thinks he is evil and it’s making him look like a sad puppy)

Jo “You’re good to me… Even if you say you’d pick me, even though you know I wouldn’t want you to. Stop sayin’ that you’re not good, Grey, there’s no reason to look like that..” (Yellow alert, yellow alert.. )

Grey “I just want you to be safe and happy. That’s all.” (At least he’s not guzzling booze anymore just kind of toying with the bottle)

Jo “Do I look unhappy or unsafe..? …… *Jo snatches his bottle away setting it away before settling across and ontop of him* ..There, now do I look anything but what you want?” (Well, there goes his booze away in exchange for a lap and armfuls of female. …she’s clever. very clever Jo..)

Grey “No.” *Grey bites his lip putting his arms around her and burying his head against her shoulder* “But how do I keep you this way without doing something wrong?” (His heart is breaking)

Jo *Pulling her hair to the side and curling into him, she rests he head against his, smiling* “Forty-two..” (Poor thing..)

Grey *Grey stays there with her in his arms, wondering how much she’ll hate him when she finds out what he did to her*

#yay chatlogs

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boojersey · 5 years

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VIC DO ALL THE ASKS BC I LOVE U AND WANT U TO HAVE FUN

*SWEATS* AYE AYE CAPN

cw for like some common lgbt+ topics such as dysphoria violence discrimination etc just. tread carefully if u get triggered easily by bad lgbt experiences

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? -im a gay trans man and my pronouns are he/him but they/them is also acceptable!

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?-oh wow i originally thought i was a lesbian because i didnt even know what transgender was i just thought wishing i was a man meant i was butch and then i met my friend donnie in eighth grade who told me he was trans and it was kinda a huge slap in the face but with a sack of gay bricks? and i found out i dont like women through actually having sex with cis women and finally realizing it. really wasnt for me so now im just a gay man as opposed to queer as an umbrella term but i periodically refer to myself as such

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?-oh yea i literally was misgendered today i just kinda brush it off but it can be hard sometimes especially when people know im trans and do it

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?-i first told donnie about my gender, it was a thing where i went to bed the night i met him and was like .. wait holy fuck and then the next day i was like BRO HOLY FUCK but sexuality? i dont really know???? it was so long ago it was honestly probably my group of friends on kik that i had in 2013 (u were included in that mister!!!!)

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?-im not actually fully out but the first time someone who was an adult knew about my trans-ness was what really set in for me the fact that i could come out one day; my friends mom referred to me as seance (and like. obviously she respected my gender she has a trans kid) but it was just super jarring bc no adult had known yet abt my identity in any way and as a result i was rlly glad it was nighttime in that car bc i cried almost immediately; the first time i came out on my Own was to my cousin and he laughed in my face so that was pretty damn awful and its kinda funny cuz the bastard is bi so u would think hed have been accepting but n0pe!

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?-im out to my friends now ! and the reception was generally positive bc i think i do an ok job at picking ppl to be around in terms of morals so there was little bad reception

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?-i hate when ppl ask if im gay as in for men or gay as in for women because im trans, i am a man so when i say im gay i feel like that should be easy enough to put 2 and 2 together but when they ask that i feel as if they still view me as a woman

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.-emo of the gods themselves it is absolute scene and emo vomit and i love it; its seriously hard for me to wear dresses and skirts without dysphoria and just general discomfort but i own a couple anyway bc theyre cute i just. never wear them

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?-my main thing at the moment is gerard/frank/grant morrison bc i love poly fics very dearly and gerard/bert because bert mccracken deserved better than gerawrds internalized homophobia lol

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?-makeup to me is an androgynous thing so i wear eyeshadow a lot and lipstick sometimes, eyeshadow is easier on my eyes than eyeliner bc im allergic to a lot of makeup thats on the heavier side so if i put on eyeliner my eyes will water and burn throughout the day but with eyeshadow im mostly ok; other opinion is that makeup on Anyone can be sexy as hell if they do it for fun and wear literally what they truly want and not just what they think is accepted or what they Should wear

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?-oh yeah my dysphoria is pretty debilitating if im gonna be honest; i used to have very little problems with it because my hold on reality was loose at best (before i was medicated to clarify) but now that i am almost completely Here my dysphoria is pretty bad and even just like. the knowledge that i have breasts is pretty awful; a few weeks ago i put on an outfit that i have to wear a victorias secret bra to fit properly in and just one look in the mirror had me sobbing and i had to change my clothes before i could leave the house and i havent worn a bra since because just the thought of showing off my chest makes this stark fuckin dread shoot through my veins but i also have dysphoria in regards to my voice that i discussed at my last trans therapy group meeting actually ; my voice has a tendency to bounce around my octave range so sometimes ill be like. excited then hear what i sound like. and ruin it for myself immediately u kno? im not even gonna talk about my dicksphoria bc thats just. awful.

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?-ohhhhhhhh my god u know what? ive heard..so much .. that im gonna instead take this opportunity to mention my mother genuinely thinks dnd is satanic

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-the fact that were so strong. we are so fucking strong we deal with violence and opposition constantly and at staggering rates yet we stay strong and we continue loving through all of it, whether its in dark corners in secret or loudly in the streets we continue loving and do so with all of our beings because we know its our own truth and well gladly go to hell if it means we got to love on earth (not that everyone believes in hell or the idea that us gays go to hell but my point stands)

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-we have this audacity to create divide (to the fault of mostly cis white gay men thank u very much) when what we need to do is love each other because we are different but at the end of the day we all need to remain in tandem and as a family or we will never get to where we need to in terms of acceptance and that means being uplifting and protecting our trans sisters of color, our disabled lgbt members, our autistic lgbt members, our anything past cis white gay man because we all need recognition, we all need love, and to exclude any letters of lgbt is to tear ourselves down and set ourselves on fire

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?-no :((( no one would drive me in the past and i dont think ill have a way to get there this year either

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?-brian molko! my bisexual, androgynistically-inclined father who birthed me at the tender age of 16 when i found placebo

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?-ya theres been a few and i dont rlly like to talk abt my relationships with anyone unless theyre online relationships so im just gonna leave it at that

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?-pantomime by laura lam! its one of if not my favorite book to this day

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?-y a every damn day bitch ! example is when i was deadnamed by my psychiatrist while she knows full well what my name is the other day; another is the countless times i get called a lesbian ???? and when strict lesbians ask me out i get a very bad taste in my mouth (i understand full well that sexuality is fluid, these are lesbians that spit the ‘penis is gross blegh’ rhetoric)

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?-uh im just gonna say preacher bc its my favorite show altogether n cass is bi/pan/something similar

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?-@ble3dmagic is my boyfriend in crime (not rlly thats a joke) and @musicalsense is my sunburnt Brother

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?-queer! i also use f*ggot a lot when talking about myself and my friends that are ok with it

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?-i went to a drag show and it was so amazing and one of the first times i felt accepted in my own community that i cried

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?-well i identify as a man with no leaning towards womanhood or nonbinaryhood in any way, its just . man . but in terms of Expression i am quite androgynous bc i can rlly appreciate femininity (NOT the same as womanhood) and being a man to me means just that ive always wanted to grow up with that “gender role” like i always wish i was raised as a stereotypical parent would raise a son and ive always been more interested in stereotypically masculine things and people since i can even remember and i feel like puberty was just this unpreventable spiral into something i didnt want. i didnt want it at all . this is tmi but when i got my first period i cried my eyes out bc the idea of being called a Woman repulsed me so much and since i didnt even know that being trans was a concept i was just this scared puppy full of confusion and fear aimed at myself because all the stuff i heard i was supposed to be proud of the change but i wasnt i was so ashamed of it and the idea of being called a woman made me sick to my stomach and i just wish i could go back in time and hold myself and tell me itll be alright

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?-absoLutely not i hate kids (and by that i mean i hate being around them and the culture that surrounds having children; i do not treat kids like shit and i do not act like hating children is a personality trait; i get migraines and usually the second a child starts screaming or crying i am on the floor of my brain writhing in dire pain and i have absolutely no desire to support another human life when frankly i cant even support myself; its also just not a lifestyle i want to live)

What identity advice would you give your younger self?-god so fucking much. so fucking much. so many things i wish i could say to myself

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?-i think if someone wants to adhere to them then hell yea go ahead just dont expect others to do it or try to tell other people its a Norm or something; theyre for the most part christian in nature so i dont have any desire to follow them myself, i want a relationship (if any) thats more of a coexistence if that makes sense, like. roommates plus dick

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?-i always used to anxiously chew on the idea that my chest dysphoria is just me holding disdain for the shape and size of my breasts but let me tell you. the second i put on my binder for the first time i immediately started crying because i was so overwhelmed by the fact that i was looking at something one step closer to myself and i know full well i am never going to have that doubt again. this week has been exponentially cathartic and therapeutic for me

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?-i want the cisheteros to know that nothing they learn about us is new. everything about us has been around for so so long but has been silenced and erased to the point where a lot of us��dont even know many things about our rich and beautiful history

Why are proud to be lgbt+?-honestly? its hard for me to not just straight up say im not proud of my identity. its taken me years to stamp down the plain grieving toward my identity and wishing i could have the easier path but frankly? the fact that i am choosing this path of hardship and hell on earth just to be who i truly am i think speaks volumes of my pride in my identity at this point; further back in my archive by a few years my posts are littered with sentiments of bitterness wherein i stated that i hate being trans and not just cis but i like to think ive finished hating myself for my identity. i like to think im proud now. to ask me why is to ask too much of me, all i know now is that i am proud and thats enough for me right now.

#LONG POST #KAY I LOVE U BUT HOLY SHIT MY FOLLOWERS ARE GONNA GET MOTION SICKNESS FROM SCROLLING PAST THIS AT LIGHTNING SPEED #saltwaterfox

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minblush · 6 years

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k-armys are spreading a tweet namjoon made in 2013 about korean independence where he says 'There is no future for people who have forgotten history' which shows he probably won't agree with working with a japanese imperialist, hopefully he still has this attitude in 2018 twitter(.)com/BTS_twt/status/367906282012831744

yeah i have seen them doing that ;; and fancafe and all the official tweets since then have been flooded with people talking about these things too, but bighit is playing dead fish so far :(

microwavehater said:Am i the only one who never believed that bts has ~creative freedom~ (anymore) ? If they (still) had, they’d use their influence to spread msgs like baepsae, not just love urself uwu (considering yoongi made political pre-debut releases &interview stuff) Also, their newer releases (LY her onwards) are v much lacking in the hiphop department which (i assume) was a marketing choice. Hiphop just doesn’t sell as well to a female audience (along w the fact that vocalists are the face of BTS).

i think they still have creative input but creative freedom definitely not, but it’s debatable if they ever had it anyway? idk.. and them moving on from hip-hop was definitely both trying to change things up as well as appeal to a broader audience, love yourself era overall was an attempt to basically touch as many people as possible, i don’t mind them changing their musical direction but what has bothered me was the loss of their involvement (because it is less)

Anonymous said:I totally agree with you about BTS losing their originality. I’m almost starting to get annoyed of them. Now bc they know people love their music for its topics such as mental health, etc I almost feel like they’re thinking that they’re obliged to constantly write music that only has a “social” message. I did not like Idol at all. It was pretty tacky and the idea of loving yourself seemed so forced in the lyrics. I want them to make songs about whatever they want at that moment. (1/?)

Anonymous said:Also every fan keeps saying the same thing about them being unfiltered when actually they’ve become SO filtered now. They’ve almost created this illusion of being super open with us when actually we barely know anything about them. I don’t mind that but I hate how they’re touting that as something that applies to them. Honestly most fans now are the bandwagon type and the fandom is starting to feel more like a cult versus a community like it used to. (2/2)

i don’t know if i ever talked about them losing their originality? because originality is debatable in this case too, if you mean their original intention then yes i agree with that, and i agree they definitely created the illusion, once i got out of the bts bubble a bit and also thought back to the old days, i realized how closed off and filtered everything is comparison to the past and even to other kpop groups nowadays that are way more direct, i feel like even exo is more outspoken these days and direct with their fans which i thought could never happen??? i used to stan them and it was hell hah.. and these days.. wowza..

Anonymous said:Fuck yesss we need new yoongi mixtape and i agree abt what you said i wish bts could read that and be like okay guys i think they are right we have done some questionable things and shit has to be addressed whether we like it or not and just fucking do so. Some fans will drop but some would drop anyway bc it is getting out of hand i would never want to call bts problematic bc shit i cannot imagine that being true but them supporting problematic people is kind of making them ones

i just feel like nothing will change because bang pd is too greedy.. he really is eyeing like building a global empire with all the business deals he has been making.. also bts have done plenty “problematic” things themselves, though not to that extent, but some of their actions have hurt a lot of people too, but it depends on what bothers you, i find colorism and things like that a problem, but ofc definitely different thing than pedophilia and such, i just meant to say that nobody is perfect

Anonymous said:Do you ever just wanna randomly bump into bts and be like “hey lets talk!” And then tell them about all these issues and fandom drama and just tell them to wake the hell up? Cos I do haha

well even if we bumped into them, most of them wouldn’t talk to you so dkajsdka

Anonymous said:i agree with everything you have said but what bothers me is he is a co produce of produce 48 and nobody really complained about it even though he is know for sexualizing minors... or did i miss something?? also i feel sorry for you getting hate you were just saying your opinion and people should start to accept some facts! it's not the first time bighit did something questionable ://

oh but actually when that was announced there was backlash? i remember seeing complaints about the producer as well as some of the trainees due to their supposed right wing associations, there were also complaints about women’s rights cause of the oversexualization of some of the girls back in japan and the producer’s lyrics, i think this backlash seems bigger or more visible to you because it’s happening in your fandom ;; that season of produce even ended up having the lowest rankings and voting participation so :/

Anonymous said:I have three words to describe the part of the fandom that blindly accepts all the things, even the problematic ones, BTS do. 'Situationally woke cult'.

that fits perfectly

Anonymous said:i rly appreciate sou voicing your thoughts even if they r not in essay form or refined for days. I agree with you on many things but at the same time it's not as disappointing to me bc I guess I never held them to high standards. like in the beginning I could kinda imagine that they were somewhat sincere (but still remained sceptical) but the more they got famous the more I accepted that that sincerity and authenticity would stop bc that's just the kind of business that kpop is... (♤)

Anonymous said:like it's an inherently dishonest industry. they sell an image just like everyone else, and at best(!!) they were as real as possible with us in the beginning. no doubt they wanted to be different from everyone else and it was easier as long as not that many people gave a fuck about them. but as soon as they started to this chance was over. so i guess what I'm saying is that my view didn't change and I'm not surprised, because I never really bought what they were trying to sell...(♤)

Anonymous said:I still love them, theyre likeable & adorable boys. but theyre not changing the world. they're not in the right kind of industry for that. they love their luxury expensive stuff & the glamour of it all & that's okay. I just take every concept the whip out w/ a grain of salt & a knowing smile & enjoy the entertainment. that's just my own two cents that nobody in the fandom wants to hear so I'm bothering u. & its not an analysis or anything just what is on top of my mind while watching TV lol (♤)

Anonymous said:(♤) oh ps. except for that whole controversial stuff with that misogynist jpn songwriter and supreme boy and what not. I take that seriously , I wont act as if that's just a cute quirk. but they're men so I didn't expect much lmaoo. I knew that those kind of disappointments are just part of the deal ever since I learned that jimin (a whole cutie pie and my ultimate bias) stans chris brown. definitely would kick jm in the shin for that if I ever got to meet him. at least keep it to yourself lol.

haha i wish you didn’t start this with a backhanded compliment but dkajsd yeah overall i see your point and agree... i understand like if you didn’t buy into that whole spiel, then of course you can just keep on going and stanning them as idols and all that comes with that, but many people and me included sincerely thought that they were different, i have stopped stanning kpop groups for a while and got drawn back in with bts because i felt they were so fresh and unique, genuine and open with fans in comparison to other groups i have stanned.. but ofc that image crumbled as time went on.. things have changed as well... and i agree, it’s fine to enjoy it for just the entertainment and like the boys as people, accepting they are just as any other idol.. and maybe i will continue with that perspective myself!! but i honestly find it difficult having believed in it and also bighit continually selling this image to their fans despite evidence of the contrary, i can deal with idol business but like continually being blatantly lied to and then being in a fandom where most of the rhetoric is build around blindly believing it and eating anything the boys and bighit sells? it’s honestly emotionally exhausting sometimes.. but yeah.. you’re honestly right.. even with the last point lol... they are men, and korean men at that sigh.. that’s why i’m burying myself in girl groups nowadays adkjsd to heal my soul

Anonymous said:Hope you have a wonderful day filled with only good things ❤ - the cutest person in the world

thank you so so so so much! you have a wonderful day too ♥ cutie

Anonymous said:simple question, not loaded at all, no wrong answer, the honest answer is the right answer- yaddah yaddah you get it -what do you think bangtan is lying about and what exactly are you saying overall? i just need the language simplified for my 3 braincells :) if i do get what you're saying - whether the actual members of bts are real or not, their message is. "dont let anyone tell you what to do" "live your own life and not a borrowed dream" "life is a marathon, not a race - go your own pace"etc

you can read this post as well as the tags to it to see some of the examples, i mean i have been saying lots of things so i don’t know what exactly you want me to clarify? i think their message is compromised when their actions contradict it, whether it’s their actions or bighit’s is up to debate, like i was talking about in the post though, you can’t have things both ways, can’t hail the boys as woke independent kings while propagating the idea that they are just the company’s pawns at the same time, if you accept their authenticity isn’t there then ofc it’s a different argument, and the things you have listed there may be true, but isn’t is soured knowing they are just things that are said in order to sell bangtan as a product to you? to me they are

Anonymous said:I'm not gonna disagree but I like to see all the sides of a story. Bang pd is their boss, bts made a contract with him, he will ALWAYS have the last word on, well, everything they put out. We like to think that bc bts has creative freedom they can do whatever they want, well obviously they can't. Even if bts wanted to talk more about issues and not work w bad ppl, bang pd wants them to succeed, he wants to make money bc it's his business and bts is the only thing bringing money to it.

i get this argument a lot and to that i will answer again this and this, i don’t understand what your point is exactly though, so you are saying bts are pawns that have to do as they ceo says, yes and? i am criticizing the decision he has made? i’m criticizing that what he cares about the most is money? that he will stop at nothing to widen his wealth and influence? i will not support bts cooperating with vile people just because it wasn’t -completely their decision-, i’m sorry i’m really struggling to see what your point is about the other side of the story, it’s a shitty situation and if they all go through with it, it be greatly disappointing

#ask #anon #microwavehater

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yammoba · 2 years

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Im like.. a demiguy or something. Non gender left boy one stray olive of girl. A bird. An enigma. At one point maybe i could have been a girl. In my earliest memories i am neither, like pikachu. If there were really only two options i would pick boy but i would have probably just lived my life as a girl because its all too much to deal with and im pretty good at ignoring my feelings. So what? I dont really deserve anything. Thats what i keep thinking. Other people suffer more than me. But i know others feel the same as me and i know i would offer them every encouragement and kindness in the world. So why is it so hard to do that for myself. I dont know. I just think im worthless probably.

I hate my body for numerous reasons and its hard to pick out what from what. I dont have an idea of what would actually make me feel better because ive only ever had this shit body that i hate and it shit and stupid and dumb and why is my butt so fucking stupid and big i know you like it but when i see it i feel like im gonna panic it looks so dumb. My hands are small and look dumb. I hate when i hear a recording of my voice because it sounds too high and wrong. I dont like when im trying to sleep and my boobs touch. I dont like that i cant help crying when i dont want to and i can cry when i do want to. I dont like having sex on a physical level that much, certain things surrounding the idea are okay but i hate talking about any of it because of some level it all ends up feeling wrong to me. I have a lot of shame and fear that litterally come from fucking no where so i dont know what my problem is. Sorry.

I wish i was tall.

There is a feeling i get when looking at certain people. I guess i used to think of it as "attraction" maybe of the sexual kind. I could use it to play along i guess. Its still hard for me to belive that it isnt all one big joke or meme. A bit that we're all collectivly playing up. Honestly fetishes make more sense to me than "normal" sexual attraction? I dont know. Its very hard to explain and i keep trying but its just frustrating because i know i will be misunderstood. So please just ask and i will try to clarify. I wish i looked like doc ock. I wish i looked like zack fair which makes me feel like cloud strife. I wish i was a bird. I wish i looked like duo maxwell. I wish i looked like the version of myself in my head who is a cis guy. Hes got a shitty chin beard and the worst shitty mustache and long hair and can play the base because his fingers arent shrimpy. Hes still short and is probably insecure about it. He likes to wear skirts and dresses and cute shit because its cute but feels weird about doing it in public because he's paranoid people will think hes a freak. He probably has a hand fetish and a praise kink. Sometimes he wonders if he should have been born a girl. Ah well, Victor Violet my friend, theres really no hope for people like us.

Im in a double bind because the more i try to explain the more i have to try to logic out my feelings and the more i feel like someone could say, 'oh you're just tricking yourself into feeling this way because you want to escape womanhood and you fetishize gay men' or what ever the fuck. Well i do want to escape womanhood. I think womanhood is fine, great even. and i have observed there are people who really like being women but i just dont feel that way. I feel like im disapointing people when i say that. But i also just feel like i dont belong. I've always felt like that. When i was a kid especially. Like i was an imposter. There is no logic to it, but thats just how i feel. When i acted like a girl, that was what it felt like, an act. Sometimes it was kinda a fun act. But ive learned a lot since i was a kid, since i was a teen. The idea that i dont have to be a woman feels like a weight off my shoulders. Feels like i could actually get to be myself.

Its exhausting and frustrating to keep slamming away at this wall. Because im the one building the wall higher as i try to build over it. Im sick of listening to the transphobe terf transmedicalist mental parasite. Im sick of over anylising my life and feelings to find evidence to present to my internal Gender Court that i know I'm never going to win at that way. I just want to live. I just want to feel like im not lying. Like im not acting. I want a binder so i can see how that feels. I want to have those little scraps of people seeing me in some way how i see myself. Even though i know the full meal is impossible. I want to tell you because i love you. I feel guilty, its taken me so long to find the words and the time and the courage to say this. I feel scared. That I'll have not explained it good enough. That you wont believe me. That you'll pretend to belive me and then post about how i got transed by yaoi and tumblr on lolcow or whatever. That you'll think im just copying you. That you'll hate me but feel trapped. That you're straight.

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castlehead · 6 years

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makeshift feels from the opinion lab

kafka wrote in a journal urhmherm of being limited to prague, then his room, then his bed, then nothing at all. to be limited at last to nothing at all. well. turns out i guess the most kafkaesque sentiment came from franz kafka.

enjoi ya rickety gethsemane while it is still to be dreamed, young writers, young writers of youth.

after a job on a hot day back in april or may or something i started listening to this while walking out of the truck towards the gas station convenience store and abruptly pivoted away from the sliding doors to sneak around the side and weep near the green fencing around some boilers. it occurred to me how little i could ever forgive myself for doing.

the shit ive done, all of it, i havent forgiven myself. if i did it and it was bad, or even meagre, dumb, really no big deal, bet yr ass it still keeps me from thinking i deserve happiness. i do not forgive myself for anything ive ever done. no deed is too temporal to etch itself cleanly into my head as something unforgivable, if only it makes a small point.

i know this is true because no joy i ever feel is felt fully, because i do not think it is deserved; and because i allow myself to be joyous only when i think of the truth of my unforgiven, unforgivable state. never to be. Never will.

and that is what is depression.

There must be something here, in me. Here where the jackals caterwAul Like streetcats Mewing their gizzard After this night’s heat, What’ll it be Jackals, Buzz off, shit man

i feel like the key to life is knowing that 90 percent of anxiety & depression, either in degree or in its truth, and at least somewhere not wracked by war, is unsubstantiated (the ten percent being actual crises, like fear of violence, a death in the family, etc). The problem is how persuasive these feelings can be that lead to the fulfillment of the very fear or solidifying the reason for being depressed. But with positive feelings, the least thing, whether true or no, can always be rewarding. A bit of happiness must be allowed to be felt, indiscriminately, because it is more useful to us than a bit of sadness. Take the fierce dialectic u use to establish a depressing ‘truth’ and persuade yourself of something good. If one is far fetched, let it be the something bad. Until it happens, after all, all of it remains in your head, to do with what u will.

You don’t get to lower taxes on the rich and gut social services at the same time. The reason social services are in place is to provide a fair shake for john q public. Mostly investors are feeling the benefits of the corporate tax cut. They’re not giving the money towards a better product that would help the people. but one day there will be no sesame seeds on the bun of yr Big Mac and you’ll wonder how that’s possible with an entire sesame seed dept that just got a pay raise.

tax reform should be done to help a free market, so that the rich can be poor and the poor rich. Taxation helps the people so that social services become less necessary. Social services were developed because the percentage of taxation was unequal between higher and lower class. Poor folks felt the pain while rich folks shrugged it off.

Thats why I say you can’t do both: social services are a protection against the world being entirely controlled, if it’s not already, by those from the very swamp this president wants to drain. T**** hasn’t drained shit.

i feel like writing takes over for your thought process. You can’t think and write at the same time, or something. something turns off or it switches where it’s doing the shit it’s doing to a different place, like yr hands. I don’t think you can write down one linear thought with another thought being thought in your head. This is why people say their mind goes blank in extended periods of inspiration. The functioning has gone from being untethered and temporal, ie wandering thoughts, notions, speculating, to being possessed in a focused place, ie yr hands, which usually leads to a more focused expression of perhaps a thought of particular value, enough in the first place to require writing down. But tho this can be easy for some talented people, who might, as Joyce said, polish their nails while writing some genius thing, what does not come easy for anybody, because it is imposssible, is thinking two disparate things, of the everyday and of some behemoth philosophic concept, for example, without either one taken place after or before; or, one of them being intermittently disturbed, tho linearly, by the other, like a notification on yr phone- until at last one of the two breaks down, and the foxus superseded by the one left. This is especially novel. One thinks; one does not think and also think. That would make it two people in one head. Therefore we can presume that ones identity is found in the unity, or internal focus, of their story in thoughts down one narrow wire: thought can cross many paths and examine everything under and beyond th sun, but per person it is still in the singular. It cannot divide into two simultaneous paths of equal focus. there can be multilayered thoughts with a similar core concept behind them, and these can be thought simultaneously as much as one can ante up and dole out shades of emotion and shades of thought, and so on. But I cannot think of a teleological explanation for all creation and with the same focus Apply myself to letters in the mail. There is a dominant voice, and the rest, the mundane voice, is seen thru that lens.

ya cant say yr colorblind then gripe about people hatin ya cuz u r white. contradiction of terms no? if you really didnt see color, ud say people hated yr ass because yr a damnfool entrylevel, grunt-ass lowbrow. not because of the color of ya skin, which ya recognized and put to the forefront in making that very statement.

feel like uh, a priori is not intuition alone. Intuition is a function of the mind, while a priori is, if I understand Kant correctly, a representation synthesized before there is an object of focus available for the senses to interpret, ie an essentially true conclusion drawn, that has no need for a combined manifold, as, Kant tells us, is offered by merely living in space and time: time to extend and progress from cause to effect to cause, and space to do it in. In other words, intuition is cognitive- psychological, and a priori, theoretical- logical.

Pathos is the one thing most divine about people, for i see that in my worst state I can still grieve for the savaging of life’s last hope, and be uplifted, feel tears, at least for a little blessed while. There is no state so low that does not inspire one to at least pity themselves, and feel the comfort of passions, however mistaken or wretched the person.

i feel that / Some subjects do not even allow to be proved through the scientific method, yet they are still issues of a scientific nature and not just mysticism. the line is very thin however, since usually these subjects devolve into mysticism. In fact, if science only worked with that which could be proven, from the outset or otherwise, we’d have a pretty limited roster of discoveries. Sometimes discoveries can be made along the way towards proving; sometimes, discoveries can be made, scientifically, thru means that for lack of anything better, are entirely theoretical. And sometimes the search is not to prove something true but to clarify something. Science is not out to be incontrovertible.

The man in mismatched sox inhaled not as deeply as he would have liked at such a crescendo, even if on the third listen in a row, then, looked up at the massive pure blue upwards, cloudless, felt likely to cry for joy, but in the end simply mouthed the words:

“I’m gonna die of loneliness, fo sho.”

So often doth trespass our intuition upon realms and pathways of a more intimate enumeration of cause and effect than could be available to any witness, and that is available only to the actioning of objects involved in the event seen and analyzed by what and who were no player.

The crisis paid goodbyes in the form of telling your ass off, is what he said. But we all knew he thought he was merely a parable often enough already. We didn’t listen to the crisis, deliberately shut our ears like boxing them very slowly ourselves before anyone else could. Later in the year many terrible events would occur that were the direct result of ignoring his words. But nobody came around to believing he did it. The crisis was way off teaching prophecies someplace probably foreign. But if I refuse to be confined to learning from my own folly I should at least give the follies of others a chance. Fatass karma, and more hell than handbasket.

What the crisis he said was

HEY YOU DONT WANT TO FACE JACK, FACE? TELL ME ABOUT HOW CRUELTY CAN BE ELEGANT AGAIN. YOU ARE FACING NO SUCH BURDEN OF SIMPLY LIVING. TELL ME WHAT HALLUCINATIONS ARE, YOU SWOLLEN, DYSPEPTIC SHIT.

And to this day All I remember is him Looking slain already Like he’d be on the slab In days Or even hundreds of years from then And it’d be how, uh, how He looked then Slamming the door While my sister and things Was gatherin they buckets for weeping later In that queer disease of spite where You grieve for the vanquished enemy.

all triumph is in some sense humorous, for in itself triumph is the opposite of tragedy. that is why the soldier laughs as he shoots at a retreating enemy. there is an element of rowdiness that is somewhat comedic, taken in itself.

Numbers are the only symbols that stand for what they are. In this way they are more like hieroglyphs

is bed porn a thing? it should definitely be a thing.

THIS LIFE IS FILLED WITH DARKNESS THIS DARKNESS IS SO LIGHT GOD IN HEAVEN QUA SKY MUST BEAT WINGS TO KEEP ON GROUND NOTHING MUCH IS EVER FOUND NOTHING MUCH IS EVER FOUND. No symbols where none intended etc etc

No art is permanent, in that its aims in being created do not last, do not translate between epochs. I will never experience Homer as one living in Ancient Greece. Have not closely read Homer, but when I do it will be as myself in my time, with all the sullying context of those years from then to now only left to unguide me.

Kierkegaard tricks you into thinking he knows his insanity is illogical, the side effect of writing his labyrinths. The frightening moment comes when you realize how fiercely logical his insanity seems to him, and how insane the World actually is, and you wonder if it is that you do not understand it or just do not accept it.

#prose #powtry #prowse #poetry #collage #social media

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monsterkiss · 7 years

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in the light of recent events w/ some selfshippers getting harrassed by anons, i decided i should make a post about it. especially bc it seems some of those anon hate messages were (purposely falsely) signed with the names of OTHER selfship blogs (esp side blogs), pretending to be them. which is a real shitty thing to do and its pretty bothersome for all of us too.

anyway.

1. i NEVER sent and WILL NEVER send any anon hate to anyone EVER. and if i had some kind of personal problem with anyone? id bring it up to them privately in a respectful manner instead of sending shit to them and harrassing them. and harrassment is NEVER okay regardless.

2. for that matter, if i do send asks (like idk for ask memes for example) i usually do it either simply from my main blog or anonymously but i dont sign those anon asks either. just saying.

3. i dont know if anyone received any weird or shitty messages signed with my blog's url but either way in case it happens, i have a few things to ask you.

take screenshot if possible or copy text

DO NOT engage. dont respond, dont do anything. actually, go ahead and block them.

PLEASE contact me right away and show me what they sent you. because if you’re getting harrassed by someone who pretends to be me i DO absolutely want to know about it!!! so dont hesitate to tell me please!!!

even if they’re not on anon but sending a message either from a side blog or main blog AND arent rude or anything BUT its still NOT this @selfshippy blog?? well look i wouldnt put it past ppl like this to try to mess w everyone in even worse ways and even go this far as to make blogs just for this purpose. in this case still contact me on @selfshippy. its unlikely id be messaging you from any other blogs unless you already know what those blogs are so yeah.

and if i receive shitty messages signed with anyone’s names? personally i also wont be responding to them, ill be blocking and notifying the people whose names were used in there.

thats all i wanted to say! i just wanted to clarify some things and reassure you that i would NOT send any gross shit to anyone. of course, if you dont know me personally and know for a fact that i wouldnt do that, all you can do is take my word for it but! if anyone harrasses you from my name, please block them! thank you!

and of course, dont listen to any jerks telling you what to do when it comes to your selfships! your favs absolutely DO love you very deeply! and anyone who says otherwise idk tbh its probably some kiddos bc thats hella immature

#rambles #important #long post

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bint-amina · 7 years

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after peter wolff writes his son a short letter in which he relates the details of how the matriarch of iris’s coven came to him and asked if damian might be able to email iris or something just to reassure her that he’s ok, damian takes out his phone (he has changed his number since he last talked to her) and he texts a familiar number.

[d] Stop trying to contact me.

[i] Damian???????? [i] Oh my god????? Jfc I thought you like [i] Died [i] Are u ok??

(a day passes)

[i] If u dont reply Ill assume the answer is no and get Grace to talk to ur dad again

[d] That was a low blow.

[i] It was desperate u mean. Which is tru [i] But Im not fucking kidding. I thought you were dead

[d] That’s a lie.

[i] How would u fucking know huh

(half a day goes by)

[i] I heard about the guys in the city [i] Thought maybe after that ur dad got sick of ur shit and called a priest or something lol [i] Cuz ur a demon

[d] Clever.

[i] Actually that wasnt clever sorry. If u have to clarify the punchline u really cant in good conscious call it clever can you

[d] Not really, no

[i] Lol [i] Good to see you’ve still got ur sense of humor

[d] ‘Humor?’ [d] Is that a Korean word?

[i] Har har [i] You speak korean dummy [i] 작은 년이되지 마

[d] 나는하지 않으려 고 노력할거야.

[i] You google translated that one didnt you

[d] I’m out of practice.

[i] Its ok, me too

(another day goes past)

[i] Hows your mom

[d] I don’t know. I haven’t seen her in six years.

[i] Wait what lol [i] Then where are you

[d] Some school somewhere. [d] Not Columbia, obviously

[i] Obviously lol [i] What kind of school

[d] I don’t know how to describe it. It’s designed for creatures like us.

[i] Wait your dad sent you to VAMPIRE school [i] One might even say........... Vampire ACADEMY [i] Wait what the fuck is it a high school lol

[d] Sort of. It’s a combination. [d] I’m in classes that supposedly will transfer back to Columbia when I return

[i] Oh youre coming back?

(sent at the exact same moment:) [d] Be more specific [i] To NY i mean?

[i] Lol

[d] Hole in one.

[i] Good call tbh. It sux up here [i] Did you know vermont is the whitest state in the country

[d] It’s second actually, after Maine

[i] Ahhh yes the compulsive fact checking.......almost forgot why I broke up with you

(20 minutes later)

[i] That was a joke lol

[d] I thought it was

[i] Nah you didnt

[d] I was around 80% sure

[i] Not statistically significant enough to reject the null hypothesis [i] Cmon Damian get back to your roots. Do some math to figure out your feelings

[d] Insufficient data

[i] Lol

(two days later)

[i] Lily says hi

[d] She’s still around? I thought for sure she wouldn’t make it through her first year.

[i] Lol yeah [i] She had a couple accidents too but [i] Nbd tbh. Im not going to get worked up about it anyway

(an hour later)

[i] Im still dating her btw

(a few hours later; in early morning, after class)

[d] I was almost hoping you’d lie to me

[i] Yeah. Sorry [i] She said I could if i wanted to but I would rather not lie to you tbh [i] I feel like........if we’re going to try reestablishing trust and everything [i] Then I should try not to lie at you

[d] Why would we be doing that?

[i] Cuz we dated for two years and itd be great if we could like get along [i] Cuz you ghosted me for a fucking reason and honestly? Id like to know why

[d] I’m sorry.

[i] Yeah you are

[d] It wasn’t my intention to hurt you.

[i] Yeah and it probably wasnt graces intention to imprison me in the immortal shell of a 16yo but ya know. Shit happens [i] We deal

[d] One silver lining to us breaking up. The age difference thing doesn’t come up.

[i] Bitch if we were still dating I would personally find u a new ratbag every god damn day to make sure u didnt look a day over 17 [i] Cuz thats creepy

[d] Fair.

(a day later)

[i] Ok..........sorry for saying “if we were still dating” [i] I just read a cosmo article that said Im not supposed to say that to an ex

[d] It’s fine. I know what you mean.

[i] Im not hitting you up to get back together [i] Ok?

[d] I know.

[i] Like.............itd be great if we could be friends [i] If we cant thats also cool [i] But hmu once in a while so I know youre not dead?

[d] And when the inevitable happens?

(Damian’s phone starts to ring. He looks at it. After three rings, he silences it, then waits until the ringing has stopped.)

[d] I didn’t mean it like that.

[i] Shit like this is why I worry about you

[d] Don’t you think it’d be easier on us both if you just lived with the idea that somewhere out there I might be dead?

[i] Why are you being mean to me lol

[d] I’m not trying to be mean.

[i] Did I fucking ask what you were trying to do Damian [i] I forgot its such a crime to care about someone you dedicated two years of your life to [i] A year ago you wanted me to marry you and now youre saying Fuck off and let me die [i] Like your own feelings aside thats just disrespectful to me [i] Anyway lol have I told you that this is your problem cuz it is [i] Its Damiantown 24/7 with you. I feel like that meme bitch from the brady bunch [i] “Damian Damian Damian”

(three hours later)

[d] Sure, Jan

[i] Oh my fucking god

[d] Sorry.

[i] What the fuck is wrong with you lol

[d] In my defense, that meme is extremely funny

[i] You dumb fucking idiot [i] I cant believe you just turned the one meme I EVER showed you against me

[d] You also sent me the article about the frog once

[i] Ya cuz I was afraid you were on reddit accidentally trading memes with nazis

[d] That’s just insensitive.

[i] I said accidentally didnt I? I was looking out for you in case your dad ever checked your search history [i] Not that he knows what the fuck an internet search history even is [i] But he’d be devastated

[d] He actually would kill me, in that case

[i] (wooden stake emoji) [i] Not if I got to him first

(Damian spends a few minutes scrolling through his emojis)

[d] Where did you find that one?

[i] I downloaded a vampire pack [i] Without using an ip blocker or anything [i] Just to fuck with the nsa

(20 minutes later)

[i] Do you ever think about how we’re the irl x files

[d] Constantly. And I’ve never even seen The X-Files.

[i] Bitch I sent you the netflix link like 20 years ago

[d] I lost your login information.

[i] Ah yes [i] Just like how you [i] “Lost” [i] My number

[d] No, I just didn’t write it down

[i] I think its off netflix now anyway

(3 days pass)

[i] Oh i totally forgot [i] Did you take my jacket

[d] The one with the fur is my jacket

[i] Wtf I sent you the link!!!!!!!!!!!

[d] And I bought it because I liked it.

[i] Are you fucking kidding me

[d] I thank you for your impeccable taste in style.

[i] I let you take it cuz you liked wearing it [i] Tbh so disappointed you didnt take the other stuff you liked wearing [i] Toxic masculinity Damian

[d] Could we avoid any potential taunting please.

[i] Im not taunting [i] It looked good on you

[d] Great. Thanks

(an hour later)

[d] I actually don’t have the jacket anymore, you know.

[i] Did you leave it at home??????? Score [i] Ur dad likes me anyway so Im just gonna hit him up then [i] Bye lol

[d] No. [d] I actually may have passed it along to someone else.

[i] OH????? What the fuck lol [i] Who

#((i'm posting this for archival purposes but it's a bit Removed from the main plot so))#iris #ooc #((groans i'm sorry i made this canon i couldn't stop thinking about them))

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bwicblog · 7 years

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SA: i have never seen a small troll so happy in my life.

SA: I bought them ice cream.

TT: what flavor TT: if you say smTh like vanilla you are going To a(\/)Tually die

SA: why do you hate vanilla so much?

SA: I bought them what they liked best.

SA: it was butter pecan.

ID: guess what chat, i'm bored and bitchy so someone should give me a reason not to be.

ID: or a reason to be more bitchy. that works too.

DD: i think i would prefer to give you a reason to be less bitchy

DD: and in light of that it might be worth asking what you are feeling bitchy about!

DD: you can think of it as talking about your problems but also lets be real gossip is fun and bitching about yout bitchy feelings is cathartic

ID: pff well at least you're honest about why you're concerned. =:P i'm just bitchy because of some stuff that happened that i'm not about to share on the chat. for fear of the wrong eyes seeing.

ID: so sorry, no gossip!

DD: well thats unfortunate clearly i have no reason to keep talking to you DD: im joking of course i am sorry that bad things happened the fun part of gossip is getting together with friends to trash talk the people you dislike not the nature of the suffering itself DD: in the end it is my overall preference that my friends do not feel shitty DD: and as we have totally established we are at least on the first tier of friendship >:D

ID: you a trash talking pro then there daz? =:P i'll have to remember not to upset you. so you can't drag my good name through the mud.

ID: the first step of a long climb, you gotta be dedicated to this friendship.

DD: well okay to be honest i am not usually the one doing the trash talking unless it is in respect to my mechanical equipment some of which has developed an attitude as a result of the artificial intelligence frames i have installed to assist me with my work but that is more affectionate trashtalking like one might perform when calling their pet cuttlefish fat DD: mostly it is my friend trash talking but when i have issues i have to acknowledge usually it is me messing up like it was earlier with prisma and in those cases i just kind of go be by myself a bit because trash talking is fun but me crying to someone is significantly less so

DD: and of course i am dedicated or well as dedicated as i have reason to be which is to say you are fun to talk to and i can see myself doing so for the forseeable future but i am afraid i am not yet ready to lay down my life for you no matter how much colorful claw varnish you introduce me to

ID: man can you type. or is this a talk to text program. either way you're fast. and wordy.

ID: not saying its bad.

ID: before you get offended.

DD: i type very quickly but i am told i talk very quickly as well it is sometimes a problem but unfortunately i have a hard time telling when it is appropriate to stop because really i want to say all of the things that are relevant and i think theyre all important DD: also i am not offended dont worry you are only saying the truth

ID: and you should trash talk more, it's great.

DD: i dont really have anybody to trash talk though!

DD: except maybe the people on team jaycob

DD: they have awful taste that is quite worthy of trashing

ID: so far i don't think we've seen any of them around.

DD: the problem remains! 😦

DD: to clarify that is a sarcastic smiley i am not actually that torn up over the issue of not having a fight to pick with people and i am afraid i have been coming of as sufficiently ditzy lately that that may be unclear

ID: hahah, well. if it makes you feel better chat rooms are hard to guage that sort of shit.

ID: though some people put /s at the end of sarcastic remarks to indicate sarcasm.

DD: i feel like thats a little bit too on the nose sometimes

ID: also the colorful claw varnish is the best and you're really missing out by not going out and purchasing some that changes color.

DD: but its still probably better than a long paragraph explaining my intentions so i will keep it in mind!

ID: it's hella fun to run under different temperatured water.

ID: just use it when you reallllyyyy don't want someone to get offended.

DD: and oh dear well that is what we are going shopping for later isnt it! DD: there is not very much of anything at all to buy here in such a small town though admittedly the local burgers are delicious and its always more fun to buy that sort of thing in person with friends than just ordering it online for drone delivery

ID: because when they're already het up a long explanation can make it worse.

DD: why would people be offended?

ID: also yeah you probably went to the same burger place as i did with gliese and they had some fantastic burgers.

ID: because it can come off as...

ID: what's the word.

ID: that means you're talking down to a troll because you think they're dumb.

DD: condescending!

ID: that.

DD: and oh dear that makes sense DD: i think that was the issue with my apology explanation earlier as well DD: i was worried that i might be misrepresenting myself and i did not want prisma to think i was acting out of malice but really it came off like i thought he was dumb

DD: that sucks 😦

ID: yeah, it's a slippery slope of being understood and coming off as a prick.

ID: slipperier for you since you're a fish.

DD: !!

DD: what do you mean

ID: ....look, you know how stereotypes work right.

ID: the biggest stereotype for a fish for us lowbloods is that every troll with fins is a jerk.

DD: i have had little experience with socializing with large numbers of people DD: i have had much experience with watching tv

DD: and oh dear

DD: ... i guess i knew that i just didnt really think about it or how it might apply to me

ID: yeahhh. see you're in a position where you can just. not apply things to yourself and be safe doing it.

ID: where us lowerbloods have to be more wary and careful.

ID: better to assume a highblood is gonna mess you up. rather than trust one and get fucked up. y'know?

DD: ... yeah

DD: that makes sense DD: D:

DD: ... do i maybe come off like a person that would mess somebody else up though like generally stereotypes aside

ID: well i mean.

ID: if you were really devoted.

ID: some fish like to play the long con.

DD: the long con??

DD: i mean i understand what you mean i just dont understand why that would be something that you might be concerned about somebody else doing

ID: ...because i like living.

ID: and am also maybe a little paranoid.

DD: hm! DD: i am just asking because i mean yes i understand that i am a seadweller and this means i am sturdier than most lowbloods but also there are other seadwellers fully capable of hurting me too both physically emotionally socially and financially and in fact i have recently narrowly escaped an assassination attempt but i suppose i still do not see that much reason to be consistently concerned about somebody playing a long con on me DD: thought maybe that is why somebody tried to cull me so you may have a point in that respect

ID: hahah why did they try to assassinate you...? =:/

ID: is that what happened to your horns.

DD: yes!

DD: and i suppose it is because i am one of the two chief executives of a very rapidly successful starship tech company and there are some issues with you know brand competition

DD: and resentment because the field thus far has been dominated primarily by long-standing memebers of it an i am fairly young as well as the issue that well

iD: oh. yeah. cut-throat business, they don't like the new fish muscling in on things. i get it. i mean it's shitty but i understand.

DD: one of the other recent entrants into the field of helmstechnology development is qpin and they are uniquely known for their ruthless competitiveness though of course i cant strictly say that they were behind it

DD: though my co-ceo says it was likely them because the queenpin is the head and she has a lot of trouble in terms of competitiveness on account of being a jadeblood

DD: but all of that is politics and i am afraid that i am not particularly great at it and i have no idea who it was

ID: ...also jeesh i guess i should have. expected you to be working on helm shit since you're at the helm station. i'm kinda glad you're not allowed to talk about what you're developing now.

ID: but congrats on not dying.

ID: or becoming too maimed to continue working.

ID: sorry about the horns though.

DD: thank you!!

DD: i appreciate your celebration of my narrow avoidance of death : P

DD: also what is wrong with as you phrased it helm shit?

DD: i will refrain from talking about it if it makes you uncomfortable but i am afraid i dont understand

ID: you're the only person who is apparently willing to chat tonight so i'm glad you survived long enough to chat. =:P

ID: i don't like helm shit. it's like.

ID: the text version of claws on a chalkboard for me.

DD: truly high accolades

SA: nobody asked if they wanted me in the chat :/

DD: and oh my goodness well i will keep that in mind

DD: umm

ID: pris! sorry, i assumed you were napping.

SA: i'm teasing.

DD: i think maybe the assumption was that you were not present on account of earlier hads said-

DD: oh

DD: oops

ID: =:P

ID: 💚

DD: 💜 >:D

DD: do you maybe have anything that you would like to trash talk about because we have recently arrived at the conclusion that it is a worthwhile endeavor but i have nobody to trash talk and hads is being very secretive about the source of his miffedness

ID: yeah pris, give us some trash talk. =:P

SA: oh.

SA: um.

SA: ...

SA: this is. rather hard.

DD: unless of course you would like to join hads in the club of secretiveness which i assume is alternatively titled the club of the subjects of the trash talking being potentially present in the chatroom at a later date?

SA: no, I have no secret salt. I have made most of it known.

ID: yeah pris is a pretty honest guy.

DD: oh in that case what is difficult?

SA: I do not tend to hold on to animosity for extreme periods of time.

SA: It takes energy I do not have.

SA: I would rather reserve it for stopping hadean from getting into a bonus fight after Ashley.

SA: let me think.

ID: =:PPPP

DD: oh dear DD: see that statement there sounds a little bit like salt though maybe perhaps not the sort that is meant to be a source of amusement

ID: i need a post-victory fight tho pris!

SA: i think that it's very stupid that high bloods become very offended when I enter their space.

SA: they can't stand the idea i have as much money as them.

SA: that is sufficiently salty.

DD: also i think i understand that i tend to not hold onto angry feelings for very long but i in general am a lot more inclined to be sad rather than mad

ID: i'll take it! that's some salt. fuck them for getting snooty.

DD: and i appreciate the pun there though i am not sure what you mean DD: i dont find you offensive to be around at all

ID: the stereotypical fish daz.

DD: oh this is about stereotypes again

SA: it must be hard to live life with such a fragile ego that because someone is well-tailored and capable of pulling several thousand out of their wallet in cash, you must threaten them as much as possible to feel powerful again.

ID: do i gotta punch someone for you pris?

SA: you do not need a post victory fight you need a post-victory ice cream and bandaids.

ID: =:PPPP

SA: also dazzle I am regularly somewhat salty at Hadean. it is the spice of our friendship.

DD: yes seconding hads though more in spirit of concern rather than desire to actually punch anybody what i mean is that it sounds like you recently had a bad experience

DD: is that why hads is the saltlick

SA: yes but taht's also because he's salty anyways.

SA: ❤

ID: is salt a spice now.

ID: 💚

DD: <3< ??

ID: what.

SA: i did not recently have one, no. It just happens when I leave the loft. I live in West Haven, which is majority high-bloods.

ID: no. definitely no.

DD: platonic spade i suppose but i cannot find it in blue

DD: or purple or green

SA: oh no. It's not like that at all.

SA: I thought salt was a spice... is something only a spice if it grows?

ID: idk.

ID: daz is salt a spice.

DD: i am going to say yes though mostly out of convenience for the sake of making puns and less because i actually know

SA: oh.

SA: well that's as good of an answer as any.

DD: although on the topic of growing i can at least say acid is often used to spice food underwater so

DD: there is at least that

SA: that sounds like. hell.

SA: but i suppose i won't judge i eat scorpions.

ID: ...how does. acid food taste...?

ID: does acid impart a flavor?

SA: is it citrus-y, dazzle

DD: that depends on the acid you use i suppose sometimes it is bitter and other times it is more sour and unfortunately i cannot tell you if it is citrusy on account of i have never had a citrus fruit though it does not taste much like orange candies if that helps

DD: also it is often used to cook food not just season it

ID: huh.

ID: weird.

SA: you should try an orange sometime. they are wonderful

DD: more weird than eating scorpions?? :{

DD: and apparently also squirrels

ID: i like berries the best out of fruit. but they're usually more expensive.

SA: I do not eat rodents.

ID: since they spoil quicker.

ID: i eat squirrels. =:P

SA: horrid.

ID: any port in a storm pris.

DD: i will have to try both oranges and berries in that case maybe even a smoothie consisting of both 😄

SA: do not do that.

SA: Orange is a very particular flavor.

DD: i am taking this landdweller food thing step by step

DD: oh

DD: interesting

SA: citrus pairs well with other citrus.

ID: try orange juice.

ID: that's easy to find.

SA: lemon and lime, for example. Or Mango and orange.

SA: yes.

SA: orange juice.

ID: mango is a citrus? =:????

SA: ,...I always thought it was.

SA: "While both citrus and tropical fruits are grown in warm climates, citrus fruits refer specifically to the genus of flowering fruits in the Rutaceae family, which include oranges, grapefruits and lemons as well as certain other species and hybrids such as the pomelo, key lime and citron. Mango is not a citrus"

SA: now I'm mad at Hadean for telling me mango is not a citrus.

DD: i think i will just buy a pile of fruit

DD: and see which ones i enjoy

SA: and ruining sweeps of disbelief.

ID: ...i mean. mangos are too sweet for a citrus.

ID: was my logic.

SA: are... are oranges not sweet to you.

ID: not as sweet as a mango!

ID: oranges have that citrus taste!

SA: make sure you learn how to prepare them, Dazzle.

DD: you mean you cant eat them raw??

ID: yeah but some of them you don't eat the outsides.

ID: like citrus fruits.

DD: maybe i can go to a fruit restaurant

SA: just putting a mango in your mouthi s not the most brilliant idea.

ID: but you can eat the outside of a mango can't you?

SA: no.

SA: you also can't eat the outside of a banana.

SA: or.

SA: You can but it will make you very sad.

SA: I learned this the hard way.

SA: It was unfortunate.

ID: 'Answer: Although the pit of a mango isn't considered edible, some people do eat the mango skin. The skin is bitter-tasting, but the peel contains several healthful chemical compounds, including powerful antioxidants mangiferin, norathyriol, and resveratrol.'

ID: i have no idea what any of those words mean.

SA: so the short version is it will make you sad.

SA: healthy.

SA :but sad.

DD: i need to be healthier i think but i do not want to be more sad

DD: but maybe the health will be making up for it because honestly most of my sadness as of late has come from my health

SA: are you of poor constitution?

ID: i'll be honest and admit i've never eaten a mango. so i was guessing on eating the skin.

DD: not usually!!!

DD: i am just

ID; adjusting to being on land?

DD: not used to living on the land and everything is very dry and my gills hurt a lot and everything tastes weird so i am also hungry all the time

DD: and also everything is very hot

SA: you would probably be happier in a bay area.

SA: why they let you move to a desert

SA: Is beyond me.

ID: because of the station pris.

SA: yes, but... why put it there.

ID: close to a lowblood settlement.

DD: because it is a remote location where i am unlikely to be found again by the person who previously attempted to assassinate me and also because there is a psionic training station that is located in the area on account of it being a lowblood locale with a high psionic concentration

SA: oh so abducting.

DD: and that is very useful for my research

ID: easy to lure them away from a shitty town to be experimented on.

DD: i mean i am

DD: unsure i would phrase it that way

DD: ... the luring not the town thing the town is pretty shitty

ID: good thing i did it for you.

DD: oh dear

ID: you're poor and life sucks and maybe your lusus is dead and you're scared.

ID: some highblood offering you candy if you come to his station sounds pretty good.

DD: actually i believe most of the recruiting is done through online means

SA: a more polite way of saying it would be that it is often easier to accept being an pet and know you are cared for than it is to be free and struggle.

ID: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ my point remains.

DD: and the payment tends to be in caegars and i know that is not what you mean i simply think you maybe are not representing it very accurately

ID: it's still sucky to do.

ID: most of those trolls have to choose between that and death.

DD: i mean it is also kind of sucky to work public service at a cafe but

ID: ...i mean a cafe doesn't screw things in to you.

SA: being a living experiment and test subject is very different from being subject to a screaming indigo about how their latte was not enough foam.

ID: you can leave a shitty cafe job.

SA: ...do they foam lattes...

SA: I dont know.

SA: I have the all the time, and I have never thought about it.

ID: and you're probably less likely to die in a cafe job.

ID: or fry your psi.

ID: and probably get culled for that.

DD: well i mean first of all the only test subjects are the two cerulean trolls i believe and also the people that volunteer to help me out but that part is not mandatory the main purpose of this station is to prepare trolls that have been conscripted for helmservice for an easier transition upon ascension and also accept anybody that would like to volunteer for the service without conscription not

DD: testing things really

ID: yeah well i bet if you asked a lot of wrigglers why they volunteered.

ID: you'd get a lot of 'i didn't have any other option' answers.

DD: hm

DD: i guess i do not know

SA: does it not

SA; unsettle you.

ID: you sure don't! but the first step is realizing you don't know.

SA: that our ships are using an archiac biotechnical method of power when we could built a technical system or a disocnnecting system for them.

SA: My pilot training used my inhibitor to join and disconnect me from a ship without hurting me in the slightest.

SA: and yet this isn't the norm.

ID: man you also hear those stories about them chopping a helms' fronds off.

ID: since they don't need them for anything.

DD: well as a starship technician i kind of have to argue your useage of the word archaic because the biotech we have developed is currently eons ahead of our purely mechanical methods of transportation which are heavily limited by both fuel systems and speed and also i am not sure that you are hearing accurate stories about limb removal that is definitely not a standard practice and would probably be actively detrimental to the process and helmsman adjustment and biowire integration DD: as would be constantly placing the pilot into painful situations upon connect and reconnect though maybe that may be the case withoutdated systems??? DD: the point of helmsman system design is to ensure a fluid and efficient connection

ID: ...huh.

ID: i mean tbh i never really paid attention to schoolfeeding about helms since. you gotta figure that stuff is just propaganda to make you think it's great.

DD: a decent amount of it probably is but that is the case with all fleet propaganda!! which is not necessarily a bad thing to be honest if you ask me personally because focusing on the negative aspects of a situation is never going to motivate anybody when you think about it regardless of what the job it

ID: i mean the ratio of cons to pros of some jobs are a lot easier to swallow than others. =:P

DD: that is very true DD: i would not want to be a garbage person i am not ashamed to admit this

ID: and i like walking.

DD: or a fighter like sipara i am fairly sturdy but i do not like being attacked

ID: if you could not tell by my adventurer lifestyle.

ID: and you can say that i can explore wayyyy more stuff in a ship but i'm pretty sure it is soooo not the same.

DD: haha yes that is true i suppose i do not consider it much considering i am both very fond of swimming over walking and also my experience on starships as a nonpsionic troll involves not very much walking anyways

DD: partially because i am stuck in my coon trying to adjust to orbit but also primarily because there is also not much room to walk

ID: ...i guess since i've already dived in to this ball of squick i might as well ask since you'd know best.

ID: does like. your kind of psi make you better or worse or not usable for a helm?

DD: yes very much so!

DD: there is a psionic ranking system of course in terms of the amount of raw power available but also the type of psionics make a difference for example cerulean psychics and indigos are not functional for ship powering at all and varieties among lowbloods that exhibit nonphysical properties such as clairvoyance are typically not high enough on the actual kinetic energy production to be able to power a ship with any efficiency as conversion to a useable power source is often very inefficient and also takes up energy in the process which rather defeats the point

DD: for example telekinetic type psionics tend to be the most effective for helming while more psychically oriented powers are not

SA: sometimes hybridization allows multifaceted psionics but it's also very rare in natural occurance.

SA: i can pilot a starfighter with my telekinesis as long as the ship and my inhibitor are programmed to allow the link through.

Sa: But an entire ship wuld be beyond me.

SA; and for the most part starfighters rely on a psion's ability to generate shields and manipulate other variables for a quicker reactions time, but not flight itself.

DD: there are also augments that assist with that!

ID: hahahah okay can this be enough helms talk now.

ID: i've exceeded my comfort zone.

DD: that is part of what the psionic training facility that i am part of helps with-

DD: oh dear my apologies

DD: i will stop!

SA: 😃

ID: i mean i asked so it's fine.

ID: just. new convo now plzkthx.

ID: ...i mean i should volunteer a new subject huh.

ID: pris did you have dinner?

ID: both of you for that matter.

ID: miss hungry because i don't eat.

SA: ...

SA: maybe.

ID: =>:I the ice cream you had earlier isn't dinner btw.

SA: i had a fruit salad.

DD: dinner??

DD: ...

DD: oh dear

DD: i am afraid i lost track of time

DD: i was going to say i did have dinner but that feels as though it was a long time ago and it occurs to me that that may have been dinner yesternight and it is possible that part of my discomfort with my health is because i am actually very hungry

ID: i'm gonna make you both set alarms to eat. =>:(

ID: a fruit salad and ice cream isn't enough for a night pris.

SA: mrmrm.

SA: I'll be back in a bit.

ID: if you get lonely while eating call sips' mobile and i'll steal it to vid chat. =:P

SA: well I may as well call it now then.

SA: i am.

SA: go find it.

ID: woofbesat, fetch. i see how it is. =:PPP

DD: i unfortunately tend to not notice my alarms it has been somewhat detrimental my friend used to ahve somebody come pull me away from my work and i thought it was sillybut now i am realizing it was probably very necessary

ID: get one of those bracelets that vibrate as an alarm.

ID: they might work better.

DD: but also that is my cue to go find food before i keel over and die so goodbye it was lovely talking to you and also that is a good idea i should find one of those

ID: ...damnit now the chat is empty again. =>:(

VC: Not quite.

VC: I'm taking a rrest on a courrierr trip, what's everryone else up to?

ID: uh i sent all the hungry skeletons off to eat because they all forget or think that a fruit salad is a meal.

ID: so they're doing that. and i'm just sitting here twiddling ym thumbs and watching pris eat on vid-chat on another mobile.

ID: ....is it rude to text someone while watching another troll in a vid chat.

SA: i'm talking.

SA: asshole.

SA: that. that wasn't serious

VC: Oh, I don't think I've met you before, SA.

SA: Hello.

SA: I am prisma.

ID: =:P i can multitask pris!

VC: I'm Cennef. And you and Hadean apparently know each other well, I take it?

ID: yeah we're buds.

ID: pris is cool, so be nice to him. =:P

SA: cennef. it's nice to meet you.

VC: He's yellow, what reason do I have to _not_ be civil?

VC: It's not like he's one of this room's silly highbloods.

VC: You seem well-mannerrred, so I agrree in turrn.

ID: he can speak kinda highblood-y sometimes but it was just how he was raised so don't pick on him. =:P

VC: Mannerrs and phrrassing of some things isn't an exclusive highblood trrait. I harrdly would.

VC: Pherrres talks like he's trrrying to sound cerrulean sometimes and that doesn't botherr me.

ID: i mean glad you understand that. some lowbloods get so offended when you use a 'highblood' term!

ID: like saying tub is gonna turn you blue.

VC: Ha. I may not carre forr highbloods, but - oh _rreally_

VC: Using theirr language isn't exactly a sin.

VC: That's rridiculous.

ID: you've never met a lowblood who got all snooty with you over it?

ID: the 'uhm, did you mean ABLUTION TRAP?' types?

VC: I suppose I have now that I think of it, but they arren't exactly trrolls I spent a lot of time arround.

VC: My ex quads werren't like that at all, norr arre any of my currrent frriends.

ID: wise move. there's having a grudge against highbloods and then there's overcull.

VC: I rreally only have a grrrudge against _one_ highblood, but I do lack fondness forr them in generral.

SA: i overcull teal bloods.

VC: Though perrhaps it might be prrrudent to stop talking about it in case any of them do come in.

SA: they have always patronized me.

SA: 😉

VC: Pfft, what

VC: I know you'rre joking, but I don't rreally get it

ID: hahah, it's a chat thing. we joke that teals are the worst because they're in the middle so they lash out more.

VC: Ohhhh

VC: To be honest, I have only met one tealblood outside of deliverries, which don't rreally count.

VC: He was...verrry odd.

ID: that's a tealblood for you.

VC: Well, he wasn't a lawtroll orr anything. He was some sorrt of perrforrmer.

ID: ...huh. was it the dumpster troll.

ID: ...do you know what i'm talking about. probably not.

VC: ...he cerrtainly _belonged_ in a dumpsterr but otherrwise no, I do not.

VC: Mine talked like some sorrt of flowerrry idiot and called himself barrd.

VC: Is that what this dumpsterr trroll did.

ID: yes!

VC: Oh my god.

SA: why is there a known dumpster dweller.

ID: he got ceruleans mad about historical bulge piercings.

SA; what dessert should I get?

VC: _Oh my god._

ID: and they threw him in a dumpster.

ID: ...the fluffy one.

VC: For once. I am on the bluebloods' side.

VC: _What is wrong with him._

VC: Correction.

VC: How many things arrre wrrong with him.

ID: and then he started dueling them in the dumpster.

VC: Though I'd probably be -

VC: _Highbloods._

ID: until someone came and rescued his hide.

ID: it was hilarious.

VC: That's completely rrridiculous.

ID: it was. but that made it hilarious.

ID: so what are you delivering...?

VC: Sorry, I was getting back on the road. I have my phone on talk-to-text now. It's some sorrrt of book collection for this olive.

ID: you're fine. how are you traveling? and that sounds. boring.

VC: Haha, I have no clue. They could be about stunning adventurrres, for all I know. I don't usually get told the details of what I deliverrr, unless they'rre imporrtant forr trransit.

VC: I rrride my lusus.

VC: She's not exactly a hoofbeast orr anything, but she can go at a decent pace with a trroll as small as I am.

ID: heyy a troll after my own pumper. though my lusus is a variety of hoofbeast.

VC: Ohh, what kind?

ID: antelope kind. but one of the big ones. he can carry me and my stuff no problem. and we have similar rocking racks.

VC: Pfft. Do you now.

VC: I have decently sized horns myself.

ID: about time. like this chat is mostly nubhorn central.

VC: I can prrrove I am not nubhorned.

VC: Ignorre the goofy exprression, this is just what I had on frrond. Also unforrrtunately I should pay attention to the terrrain now, it's getting rrough.

ID: huh. sorry i've not got an image right on hand to share. and i'm not in the prettiest shape for selfies, so you'll just have to take me at my word. =:P

VC: Haha

VC: Well I fully expect one laterrr

VC: But underrstandable - ow

VC: I rreally _should_ stop talking, dammit

ID: your lusus bad at navigating?

SA: the fluffy one

SA: that didn't tell me anything...

ID: point the camera at the menu for me.

SA: there...

ID: uhhh. the lemon tart thingy. since you said you like citrus.

SA: okay.

SA: delicious...

ID: you're welcome. =:P

#c:cennef #c:dazzle #c:hadean #c:prisma

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heartlikearchive · 7 years

Text

I don’t really know how to start this, so I guess I’m just going to leap into it. Below, you’ll find a huge public apology. I hope more than anything this is enough. I’d appreciate if only the people tagged read this but, it’s a free world so... I just want to say from right now that I’m doing this to try and be a better person. I don’t know what else to do to prove that. Please don’t hold my past mistakes against.

–– dani

Before I start on individual apologies, I thought it was best to give out a brief one to everyone mentioned in this post. I didn’t want to make this a public thing, and I didn’t want to have. I’d appreciate if you all just read your sections, but, since it is public, if you want to you can. I’m not keeping anything private anymore. I’m sorry that things got so bad, and I’m sorry it got to this. This is apparently the only way I can say my piece and make my apology and hope that... things will be resolved after this?

Also, to everyone that I messaged with the discretion that like, after Tiffany and I broke ties, I just want to say it wasn’t like... I only wanted to spare the awkwardness, so that something like this would never happen. Clearly it was a dumb thing, and if it made anyone feel uncomfortable, I’m sorry for that.

@restlessromeo/holly: I owe you an apology, purely for nothing if not the fact that you shouldn’t have been put in the middle. No one should have, really. You were the first person to welcome me onto indie, so it really bit at me that I couldnt’ do anything to fix what I’d done. I’m sorry for that, and I’m sorry collectively for anything I’ve ever said, if there was anything I’ve ever done to hurt you personally.

@petrasplaining/bea: i owe you an apology because when I sent you that message it wasn’t like... I don’t remember what you said exactly, but it wasn’t an attempt to like... cause drama or anything. It honestly wasn’t. I don’t know if I should explain my motivations now, or if you even care, but for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I really am.

@turnedink/manu: i’m sorry you felt like i was trying to claim you. i wish that i would have known from the start that you thought that... that you thought i was.. I don’t know. i know you didn’t owe me anything, and i cant say how i would react if i was in your place, but i couldn’t help but wonder what you’d heard that was so bad that you would just unfriend me without asking for my side. i don’t know, i still don’t know but, for what it’s worth, i mean, i don’t blame you. i guess i’m just sorry we’re not friends anymore, and if that’s my fault, then i’m not just sorry to you, but i’m sorry to me too.

@blossomedgrief/annie: I don’t even know where to start with this apology. first off, I guess... it’s wild to me that we’ve never even met, and i can’t imagine what kind of person you think I am. i know it’s easy to villanize someone when you don’t imagine them as an actual person, but I’m here to tell you that for all the petty duplicate-envy i felt (and, okay... I feel) i don’t think i have ever spoken a bad word against you as a person. the only way i can thing of to prove this is to do something drastic, like giving you my skype/tumblr log ins and passwords and letting you see for yourself. i don’t mind, i don’t care, because i know that i’ve never said anything bad about you. i know so deeply that how I feel is ridiculous. I know that, and i hate that about myself. I know its not your fault, and i know its mine for having my own issues, and im willing to take the consequences of that, clearly, since this is out in the open for everyone to see. the first thing i’d like to apologize to you for is the duplicate envy. while I have NEVER sent you hate (and this i don’t know how to prove, but i could give you my IP address if that helps, or something because it wasn’t me), if feeling like I was targeting you, if that made you feel distressed, or caused you any pain, i’m sorry for that. i never meant for it, i never meant to hurt anyone, least of all you, because... well, we’d never even met. i don’t know you, and you don’t know me. there shouldn’t have been any reason for you to feel any pain, but if you did, i’m so utterly sorry for that. i’d do anything to reverse it.

the other thing i just wanted to clarify, because according to the person we talked between, she asked if i’d ever stolen from you and i can wholeheartedly say that no, I haven’t. i have more dignity than that, and okay, i know you have no reason to believe me, and probably think the worst of me, but for what its worth, im telling you i didn’t; thats the truth. stealing from you (i don’t know if that meant like writing or something?) is just... that makes me sick to my stomach thinking that. from the bottom of my heart,I am so sorry. I’m sorry for any pain you felt. And I’m sorry you got involved so much. I promise you, i haven’t felt that toxic of an envy in a while. If you’d want to talk somehwere, and clear things out, if you have anything to ask me, or if you just want to yell at me... Please let me know, I’d be more than happy to.

and finally @ineffablefates/tiffany: Over the past two months, I’ve had a lot of time to think. I’ve had a lot of time to reflect, and a lot of time to wish that I’d gotten the chance to really apologize for you. After things deteriorated, I don’t know… I hated that I hadn’t gotten the chance to apologize to you the most. Even if you didn’t accept it, I wanted you to know how sorry I was. Sorry for so many things. Sorry for saying something hurtful (which I’ll explain in a sec), and sorry for whatever pain it might have caused you. After you cut me out of your life, I don’t know, I started thinking about how things aren’t as black and white as someone might think. I’m not so proud to think that something I might have said to you would have such a huge effect on you, but IF it did, and if it really hurt you, Tiffany please know that I am so sorry for that. I didn’t mean to hurt you, or anyone else.

I’ll admit I phrased what i said so wrongly. I know at the root of it, there’s been more to the problem than just that one fight, I know that, and I’m sorry for all those instances too. For what it’s worth, for the most part, . But maybe we weren’t compatible, through no fault of our own, except you know, the moments when I was all… You know, /me/. I’m sorry that you see me as someone that like… Runs their mouth. I hate that. I hate that you will always see me as someone who talks out of their ass. I hate that so much, and I wish there was a way for you to know just how strongly I’m sorry. I’d do anything to make things better, but I don’t know if there is a way? I’d do anything to show you how sorry I am. Ever since we stopped being friends, the thing I’ve regretted the most is that you and everyone sees me as that person. I swear to you, I swear if there was a way to prove that I’ve been trying to move past it, I would. I know I shouldn’t care if you forgive me or not, but I do. And I can only hope you know that…? I don’t know, this is probably phrased so badly. But this is just me coming to you, telling you I’m sorry. If I could go back, I wouldn’t want things to have happened the way they did? I don’t know if there’s anything else that I’ve done that hurt you, but if there is, I’m willing to apologize for it. I’m willing to do whatever I can to make it better. I feel so guilty all the time, and I feel like I deserve that, and maybe this is just me trying to absolve myself, and I don’t know about you, but I needed this closure. I needed you to know this, and I needed to try everything I can to move on, because I can’t keep feeling terrible for this. I know we’ll never be friends again, and I understand that. But… I don’t know. Sorry this got all rambley and probably repetitive, but I just wanted to be thorough too. I’ve thought about messaging you to apologize so many times, but I was always super scared too, because I don’t know if you know, but you probably don’t, but the few times I’ve gotten kind of negative asks, my mind always went to you. Not because I thought it might be you (although, okay a few times I did think it might be you, but I always wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt), but because on some level I think I deserved it. But I don’t want to feel that way. Even if you don’t accept my apology, try and understand that I mean it. If I could have had this conversation with you in person, I would have, but I guess this will have to do. (Unless somehow you’d be okay with us actually talking? Long shot.)

And to everyone again, if you’re reading this.... Yeah. None of you need to reply obviously, but… I posted this so you know. I wouldn’t have wanted to do this publicly, but if it’s what it takes then so be it. So you know how sorry I am... Honestly I just... Regret so much, and wish it all never would happened like that. So, yeah... Thanks for reading this.

p.s i didnt mention all the shit that went down, because at the root of it, i dont know if there’s more to it than i originally thought but… if it helps for me to admit to every thing i’ve said that hurt any of you guys, i’ll do that, i will.

#☼ – ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ʀɪᴠᴇʀᴅᴀʟᴇ →┊ooc┊#long post

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exactlywhoyouthinkiwas-blog · 6 years

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[3/3/2015 9:41:28 PM] Evan: Hey. [3/3/2015 9:43:51 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: Yo [3/3/2015 9:44:11 PM] Evan: How're you [3/3/2015 9:44:59 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: Fine. I guess. [3/3/2015 9:45:00 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: You [3/3/2015 9:47:27 PM] Evan: I'm alright. What's up? [3/3/2015 9:50:22 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: Nothing. and by nothing i mean i cant make myself actually do things. [3/3/2015 9:52:20 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: wha bout you [3/3/2015 9:53:24 PM] Evan: About to work on that picture again. [3/3/2015 9:53:51 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: sounds like a fun [3/3/2015 9:57:11 PM] Evan: Yup. [3/3/2015 9:57:24 PM] Evan: Did you ever finish that birthday present? [3/3/2015 9:57:43 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: nope [3/3/2015 9:58:04 PM] Evan: Did you ever start it? :P [3/3/2015 9:59:10 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: no. Im having trouble even just drawing a hand a whole bust isnt really going to work. [3/3/2015 9:59:47 PM] Evan: Ah. D: [3/3/2015 10:01:51 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: yeah....stuff isnt really coming out right or well [3/3/2015 10:04:16 PM] Evan: Ah. Well maybe it doesn't have to O: [3/3/2015 10:07:49 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: i dont really...like...putting out things that are very subpar. it has to be only the best [3/3/2015 10:10:37 PM] Evan: Makes sense, I s'pose. [3/3/2015 10:11:47 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: aight. so...i have a question for YOU *squints* [3/3/2015 10:12:21 PM] Evan: Oh? [3/3/2015 10:12:36 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: Like wwwwwwwwwwwww [3/3/2015 10:12:37 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: why [3/3/2015 10:12:42 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: do you even care [3/3/2015 10:12:44 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: about ME [3/3/2015 10:12:50 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: like im thebiggest waste [3/3/2015 10:12:56 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: of ANYONES time [3/3/2015 10:15:10 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: like im not really worth the effort of caring over. like i know i cant make people stop but i question why they do. [3/3/2015 10:16:58 PM] Evan: Why do you think you're a waste of time? [3/3/2015 10:18:27 PM] Evan: You're one of the people I've met that I wanted to get to know better, and I wasn't going to get that chance without just talking to you. I think you're very interesting, and also [3/3/2015 10:18:41 PM] Evan: it seemed to me that you wanted someone to talk to. [3/3/2015 10:19:16 PM] Evan: And I like talking to you. You aren't wasting my time. [3/3/2015 10:19:51 PM] Evan: Even if we don't talk about anything in particular. [3/3/2015 10:21:41 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: ..I still dont really understand but i had to ask. Like i dont know i dont really understand why people do things. I already knew the answer wouldnt make sense to me, but i guess its better to actually have one. [3/3/2015 10:22:22 PM] Evan: What part doesn't make sense [3/3/2015 10:25:43 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: I dont know like i still dont understand like im not really that special...aside from the fact i got a huge short end of the stick when it comes to mental shit which renders me the most socially inept asshole on the planet [3/3/2015 10:31:27 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: I shoulda guessed the answer wouldnt really make too much sense to me.. I personally just dont get why everyone likes me i get thats a personal opinion i just *shrugshrug* [3/3/2015 10:34:23 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: (just to clarify im not saying i dont like you or hate talking to you. like youre the only person who actually talks to me now. i just wanted to clarify in case it seemed like i was giving off that impression) [3/3/2015 10:34:39 PM] Evan: Nah, not really. [3/3/2015 10:34:59 PM] Evan: I've just been trying to think of a way to say the thing without sounding like some kind of motivational bullshit. [3/3/2015 10:35:45 PM] Evan: but for some reason the first thing that came to mind was "No one's special, but everyone is different." lmao [3/3/2015 10:36:06 PM] Evan: And I have no idea how to follow that up. [3/3/2015 10:36:35 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: oh. ok. i just didnt want to sound like i was being a COMPLETE asshole [3/3/2015 10:37:40 PM] Evan: but yeah [3/3/2015 10:37:52 PM] Evan: something something you'recoolerthanyouthink something something [3/3/2015 10:41:19 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: pbbt this coming from the person who calls themself a loser whenever they have to mention themself, or a "social wreck". there is an irony here i can just smell it. [3/3/2015 10:45:37 PM] Evan: haha yeah. I'm 20 years old, single my entire life, have one friend, a dead-end entry-level job, and spend all of my free time in this here chair. I'm certainly a loser with very not good social skills. Maybe you are too. Really makes no difference, because it's still nice talking to you. [3/3/2015 10:48:28 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: I dont even have a job yet, so you may say you are a loser, but youre not a dirty hikkiNEET like me. i dont even sit in a chair tho...i actually never move from my bed. [3/3/2015 10:49:57 PM] Evan: Bed's pretty soft, that's probably the way to go. [3/3/2015 10:54:43 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: Weh, they get worn down easy. but im gonna have to say it, youre pretty interesting tooooo. =:A [3/3/2015 11:01:06 PM] Evan: Haha thanks [3/3/2015 11:01:41 PM] Evan: also what is that smiley [3/3/2015 11:01:44 PM] Evan: it looks like a dinosaur [3/3/2015 11:02:43 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: the A is suppoosed to be a mouth...and like the = is the eyes the : is just there because. [3/3/2015 11:03:37 PM] Evan: lol [3/3/2015 11:05:15 PM] Evan: These things confuse me. But as far as smileys go I'm pretty basic. [3/3/2015 11:05:42 PM] Evan: I never make this face -> :D [3/3/2015 11:05:45 PM] Evan: but I use it the most [3/3/2015 11:07:38 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: i just make whatever the fuck. like i really just put stuff together so most of the things i make arent even like widely used ??? [3/3/2015 11:07:59 PM] Evan: lol that's a new one [3/3/2015 11:09:52 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: like i said most of the time i just throw shit together..its a metaphor for my life [3/3/2015 11:10:13 PM] Evan: I'd hope it wasn't literal. [3/3/2015 11:11:55 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: The only literal i am is garbage. (·c·) [3/3/2015 11:12:43 PM] Evan: Then I'd reccommend avoiding curbs and community service workers. [3/3/2015 11:13:39 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: im already in garbage hell, home of not doing what im supposed to be ever [3/3/2015 11:18:04 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: like at this rate itll be 2 years later and then i finally release an episode [3/3/2015 11:18:45 PM] Evan: Just as long as it releases. heh [3/3/2015 11:20:22 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: by then all my voice actors would probably quit and id be back to like square one. like how am i gonna do all this in 3 months i only made the deadline so long because i still need to do the fucking opening and shit [3/3/2015 11:21:16 PM] Evan: Ah. Openings suck. [3/3/2015 11:22:33 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: i dont even know what to do with the first one because its so uninteresting. like its tooooo happy [3/3/2015 11:25:14 PM] Evan: lol [3/3/2015 11:25:21 PM] Evan: Isn't season 1 supposed to be happy tho [3/3/2015 11:26:28 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: yesssssssssss its like "lets be real you know dis aint the story you making" [3/3/2015 11:26:48 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: but i have to so i can crush peoples hopes and dreams [3/3/2015 11:29:41 PM] Evan: aka the best thing ever [3/3/2015 11:29:48 PM] Evan: crushing hopes and dreams that is [3/3/2015 11:31:05 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: too much power for one man to hold this should be illegal [3/3/2015 11:31:50 PM] Evan: The police are on their way. [3/3/2015 11:31:56 PM] Evan: Scratch that. [3/3/2015 11:32:01 PM] Evan: The garbage men [3/3/2015 11:34:04 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: oh nooo. how will i live now, the only thing i ever do is illegal nooo [3/3/2015 11:38:30 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: how am i going to write stories now [3/3/2015 11:39:09 PM] Evan: write them on prison toilet paper [3/3/2015 11:42:45 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: you cant animate in garbage jail. how am i supposed to destroy peoples expectations and kill mains now [3/3/2015 11:46:52 PM] Evan: Write them coded letters. [3/3/2015 11:46:57 PM] Evan: Decode for spoilers. [3/3/2015 11:49:36 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: thats so much work tho. why cant things just make themselves [3/3/2015 11:54:38 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: fanime would be so much easier that way. like it wouldnt take like one person 5 years to work on something [3/3/2015 11:55:04 PM] Evan: That would be great. [3/3/2015 11:55:10 PM] Evan: Sit back and watch your own show. lol [3/3/2015 11:56:56 PM] Vrrrrrris??~: like you could just do like put the whole show up at once there it fucking is and actually be able to move on with your life [3/3/2015 11:57:22 PM] Evan: All ten shows. [3/4/2015 12:00:19 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: ...its 12....it miiiiight be 13 theres something im not sure about because its probably too edge to be able to put on youtube. and i dont know the meaning of turn it down like...but from what i remember yeah its 12 or so titles counting all of the stuff in the MSC continuity as one entity [3/4/2015 12:00:55 AM] Evan: whats the edge one O: [3/4/2015 12:05:35 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: I havent actually announced it because im not sure if im gonna make it but if i do it would be called KamiGami or Paper Gods, just because, and like theres some world building thatd need to be done to it but basically its like a "demon tamer" which is just like a higher up demon comes to some town disguised as a foreign exchange student to protect it from like demons and shit and ends up fighting some guy from a family thats had a long spanning feud with his and thats why the main guys family is all dead and shit. mostly what im unsure about is that its going to have like gore and shit which ehhhhh i dont know how id get around that [3/4/2015 12:10:30 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: i have like until the end of the year to decide tho *shrugshrug* [3/4/2015 12:16:16 AM] Evan: Well you can absolutely put gore on YouTube without it being a problem. [3/4/2015 12:16:44 AM] Evan: It's really only sexual stuff that gets taken down, and even then it has to be specifically pornographic. [3/4/2015 12:21:14 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: Weh, i mean i usually like to try and be safe with stuff, i dont know ill sort that one out later [3/4/2015 12:21:55 AM] Evan: hahayeah [3/4/2015 12:22:02 AM] Evan: many things to do first [3/4/2015 12:24:18 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: yeah. i still gotta catch up in terms of episodes considering there was like a whole years worth of not working on any. [3/4/2015 12:25:55 AM] Evan: O: [3/4/2015 12:29:28 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: like you can say what you want about "supposed to have 2 episodes out by now" I shouldve at least had one CLOSE to done. [3/4/2015 12:34:44 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: I probably wont actually even meet my deadline either like i usually never do. like I think that i give it enough time but i always miss them [3/4/2015 12:35:54 AM] Evan: D: [3/4/2015 12:36:03 AM] Evan: when does cat girl get introduced [3/4/2015 12:36:06 AM] Evan: like actually introduced [3/4/2015 12:37:45 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: episode 2. shes like the 3rd classmate to...i think its third. Yeah 3rd shes the 3rd classmate to intruduce themselves [3/4/2015 12:43:18 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: i never expected so many people to like her tho but like i think i got the most auditions from her from like both men and women. I think i made the right choice tho her voice is pretty funny gueheheh [3/4/2015 12:47:45 AM] Evan: nice [3/4/2015 12:52:58 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: yeah. tenshi auditioned for her too which i found surprising. we both agreed tho that that isnt a thing, cause like theres no way hed be able to make that voice ever again [3/4/2015 1:11:23 AM] Evan: lol [3/4/2015 1:15:52 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: Yeah, I dont blame him tho higher nasily voices are a bitch. [3/4/2015 1:34:12 AM] Evan: Yeah. [3/4/2015 1:39:25 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: at least yall dont sound 12 tho. [3/4/2015 1:39:57 AM] Evan: Sounding 12 is not great. [3/4/2015 1:41:40 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: like i dont wanna sound 12 but honestly i dont wanna go through trying to find anther high voice thats not impossible to do for doki so like ok shes 12 its only for this series [3/4/2015 1:45:01 AM] Evan: lol [3/4/2015 1:49:15 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: yeh. like it was a joke voice originally anyway, and i hate myself everyday for doing that. [3/4/2015 1:52:09 AM] Evan: Those decisions are the best. [3/4/2015 1:52:16 AM] Evan: oh yeah btw [3/4/2015 1:52:20 AM] Evan: http://drahveson.deviantart.com/art/Blue-517909682?ga_submit_new=10%253A1425451891&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1&ga_recent=1 [3/4/2015 1:53:09 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: cool shit. [3/4/2015 1:53:24 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: what do you mean "awkward everything" haha [3/4/2015 1:53:48 AM] Evan: It's a bit wonky. heh [3/4/2015 1:54:07 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: it look FINE [3/4/2015 1:55:06 AM] Evan: Well I'm glad you like it. [3/4/2015 1:58:04 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: why wouldnt i? [3/4/2015 1:58:35 AM] Evan: Dunno. lol [3/4/2015 1:58:44 AM] Evan: Maybe because it's a bit wonky. :P [3/4/2015 2:01:09 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: pbbt yeah right. theres nothing thats like super off i dont see much of a problem with it at all. [3/4/2015 2:02:09 AM] Evan: There are some things I'm not crazy about, but that's just my art in general. lol [3/4/2015 2:05:26 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: well thats pretty much how it always is. like i just spent hours trying to do foreshortened hands and even with a photo reference i think they look terrible, but i know theres gonna be the one person whos like "i cant even draw hands lol" [3/4/2015 2:05:41 AM] Evan: haha yeah [3/4/2015 2:14:51 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: yeah, well, regardless of what you think i think it turned out great. [3/4/2015 2:17:11 AM] Evan: In which case I'm glad you think so. It is for you, after all. [3/4/2015 2:23:27 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: wellllll, thank you for drawing it. its pretty fab. [3/4/2015 2:24:34 AM] Evan: Welllllll thank you for requesting it [3/4/2015 2:29:23 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: its no problem.....iguesss [3/4/2015 3:49:38 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: (im prrrrobably gonna be bopping off for now so like i guess ill catchya tomorrow) (yes thats technically today but who cares) [3/4/2015 3:50:22 AM] Evan: Alrighty. Good night. [3/4/2015 3:50:50 AM] Vrrrrrris??~: yeh GN

#said evan to vriska

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