#and it's so so so so so sapphic which is not an exaggeration either | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chaoticstanley · 10 months

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I am absolutely in love with Beautyjuice! I’ve only seen one little snippet of her, but I’m already hooked on the ideas you have! If it’s alright, I did have a few questions (hopefully spoiler free, since you’re doing a comic):

Does she have to dress up and wear a corset ALL the time, or does she only do it just for super special occasions?

Did she choose to wear the corset, or is it societal pressure/necessity?

Did you have any specific influences/vibes when creating her?

Does she have any specific personality traits or archetypes that are different from her toonjuice counterpart?

Does Lydia get to see this alter ego? Do they like to do fun girly things together?

Is fanart of your universe/designs allowed? (With proper credit)

Thank you for your time! [Please don’t feel pressured to answer all of them! It is all good if you pick one or two to answer. :) ]

Have a wonderful day! Thank you for sharing your work with the world! ✨

Got me crying in the club rn!!! (T⌓T)

In all seriousness, this was such a sweet thing to say and I greatly appreciate your lovely words, babe!!!! And don't worry about spoilers cause the comic I'm working on is just a one-off story about Lydia having a sapphic crush lol. But onto the asks!!!

So, Beautyjuice mostly sticks to her feminized suit, but there are a few scenarios where she would dress up. Like, in the show, there are some situations for Beetlejuice to change his outfit, and it's the same deal for her but the only difference is that she's fem presenting. And she doesn't have to wear a corset at all. She's very insistent on it cause she likes how it makes her breasts pop up. She loves her titties and flaunts them constantly without shame. Either to seduce some poor sap out of their money or just for funsies.

And I was mostly inspired by, obviously, the Beautyjuice design in the show, but also drag queens as well. The exaggerated proportions and hair were a big factor. My mindset the entire time was "Does she look like she's serving cunt 💅🏼???" And I think I captured that pretty well 😊

In terms of personality, she's far more affectionate than my canon's Beetlejuice. Normal BJ doesn't like to be touched and doesn't ever touch anyone, save for the occasional hug with Lydia. He's a lot more like Moviejuice where he's not somebody you really wanna touch or else you'll end up dead in a ditch somewhere. But Beauty is way more touchy. She'll stroke your face, let a hand linger on your shoulder, run her fingers through your hair (and pull it), etc. It's all mostly to get your attention and manipulate in some way. But otherwise, she's just as much a gross, petty grade-A asshole as normal Beetlejuice.

And Lydia has seen her before and hung out with BJ in his Beauty form, but she's not a fan. Mainly because she always ends up witnessing her flirting with someone and it makes her gag. She's way more fond of Bettyjuice, which is BJ's teen girl alter ego which he uses to hang out with Lyds at school. In contrast, Bettyjuice is a mean e-girl type who loves to fight the school jocks, get into detention, and brag about how she has more followers than Claire Brewster. I posted Betty earlier but I'll reupload both fem designs here just to show the difference

Lydia definitely hangs out with Betty a lot more than Beauty. BUT they love to have typical girly fun, whether it's Beauty or Betty. They'll go shopping, talk shit on Claire, have slumber parties, do their makeup, etc. But funny enough, Beetlejuice does all that anyway in his standard form, so it's not any different than when they usually hang out lol. And here's a scene of Lydia helping Beauty in her corset.

And fanart is always welcomed by anyone for any art I make! I will go fucking feral for it. And again, thank you so much for this lovely ask! I'm a big fan of your art and seeing this in my inbox from you made me ecstatic!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Have a great one as well!

#ask stanley #my art #beetlejuice #beetlejuice the animated series #lydia deetz #toonjuice #toonlydia #beautyjuice #bettyjuice #fem!beetlejuice #i-really-like-phrogs

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honeysuckle-venom · 2 years

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What is the difference of feminine lesbians and femme lesbians? Your tags on that reblog about lesbians on TV made me wonder what you mean.

Hi Anon,

Thank you so much for such a fantastic question! The answer to this is very, very complicated and to a certain extent individual, and I certainly do not claim to speak for all femme lesbians. But there are some things I can say about this.

Most lesbians do not explicitly identify as either butch or femme, but just as lesbians. But some find their homes and identities in those terms and the butch/femme community. Femme and butch are two sides of the same coin, and just as butch does not simply mean "wears jeans," femme does not simply mean "wears dresses." In fact, gnc, nonbinary, and/or transmasc femmes are common. Femme is a specific identity, not just an aesthetic.

For most femmes, in large part the identity is about repurposing and reclaiming aspects of femininity in a specifically queer way, a way that is designed to signal to and attract other sapphics (often, but not necessarily exclusively, butches). Most femmes are very intentional about which aspects of traditional femininity they embrace and which they reject. For example, I keep my hair long and usually wear vintage inspired dresses when I go out, but I almost never wear makeup and I don't shave my legs. For me and others like me, being femme is in large part about examining femininity and performing it intentionally and in a queer way, by only performing certain aspects of it and/or by performing it in an exaggerated manner.

But while aesthetics and external performance of femininity are certainly tied into being femme, it is also more than that. Femme is a complex identity that for many people is their way of defining their gender, connection to history, and/or role in relationships. Many femmes prefer to date butches, but even those who don't usually see themselves as mirrors to butches, as the other half to that community. Butch and femme are also historically based identities with ties to working class lesbian bar culture in the 1950s. I'm not going to get into that as much, but most people who identify with those terms see themselves as part of a continuing history and subculture (if you're curious about this, there are many books out there. One I see recommended a lot, though I haven't yet read it, is Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers by Lillian Faderman. Another classic which I have read is Stone Butch Blues, which takes place primarily in the 1970s. Major trigger warning for police brutality and several rape scenes in it though).

A lesbian who is fairly feminine but does not see themself in relationship to that history, to that subculture, and/or to butches is, in my opinion, probably not a femme. A lesbian who wears dresses because that's what's expected of her but who has not examined her gender and identity and chosen to embrace specific aspects of femininity in a queer way is, in my opinion, probably not a femme. And ultimately, a lesbian who does not identify as a femme is not a femme. At its core, femme is a complex and nuanced identity, not an aesthetic.

A final note: The original post I left tags on that made you ask this question was talking about femme lesbians and lesbian characters' costumes on TV. I would argue that perhaps lesbians on TV don't necessarily need to identify out loud as femmes to be femmes (it's hard enough getting tv shows to say the word 'lesbian' or goodness forbid 'bi'), but the reason I don't see most of them as femmes is because most femmes specifically incorporate elements of gender-nonconformity and/or gender exaggeration into their presentation and/or mannerisms. Most lesbians on TV are just wearing traditionally feminine, fashionable outfits identical to the straight girls around them; that does not read as femme at all to those who know how to read those cues. Also, I wrote this specifically about femme lesbians because that's what the original post was about, what your question was about, and how I identify, but most if not all of this is true for femme bi women as well.

#answers #gosh this was hard to write and not at all comprehensive #there's so much to this #but hopefully this answered your question #for now i'm letting this be reblogged but if people get discoursey i'm blocking and turning it off #i'm not putting it in community tags though #that's a step too far #anon (or anyone else) if you have more questions feel free to ask!#also i just reblogged a post that has a better explanation than the one i just gave so you should read that

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tricksters-enclave · 2 years

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Member Intros:

So we realized we should probably introduce ourselves individually, so everyone has a little bit of an idea who we all are. If others within the system who aren't on this post decide to interact, we'll figure out something from there. Almost everyone in the system is somehow connected to people from willful-chaotics-assembled.tumblr.com.

~~~

Parker (Host; she/they): Hi, I'm Parker, I'm the host and the original inhabitant of the body. I am genderqueer, sapphic bisexual, and disabled. I am very loud about all of that. I will probably be the main one fronting and posting. I am married to Mischa, the host of the Willful-Chaotics-Assembled system.

Radames (he/him): I think we can safely say that I am either one of the first members of the system, or the first that Parker was aware of. I've been around since about 2008, when Parker needed a character for a Dungeons and Dragons session. I still think it's hilarious that they thought I was only going to stick around for one session. Moon from Willful-Chaotics-Assembled is my chosen sister. I am also an elf.

Loki (he/they/she): If you don't know who I am, you haven't been paying any attention to things. I'm the Trickster, obviously. The system name was my idea. I am probably some combination of fictive and headmate, but we don't dwell on that. It's a good idea to ask my pronouns constantly, as they change pretty much whenever. I don't do gender.

Locke Lamora (he/him): I am "a chaotic little shit" according to everyone I've ever met. I prefer to think of myself as charming. I am a fictive, but it's fine. I am not allowed to drive. Apparently I can't be trusted with a car. Which is fair, honestly. Jean's here too, but he doesn't front much. I am the one who shares a name with Parker's cat, so it's always fun trying to figure out which of us they're yelling at.

Andros (he/him): I probably won't front much. I am also a combination of fictive and headmate. Haedyn from Willful-Chaotics-Assembled is my sibling, Loki is our parent.

Rubye (she/her): I'm more likely to front than Andros. Haedyn is my sibling as well, Loki is my parent. I like setting things on fire when they annoy me.

Zoe (she/her): I'm another early member of the system, been around since...2010ish? I'm a vampire, and I've been told that I can be a bit much. I don't bite. Often.

Roger Davis (he/him): I would also be one of the first members of the system, and I am a fictive, apparently, since I'm from the musical RENT. I tend to be quiet, but I'm here.

Jez (she/her): We don't talk about my family. Except my cousins. Panther M from Willful-Chaotics-Assembled is one of those. The other is in the system with me, as is my husband Wolf, but they don't front much. I can be a bit abrasive, I don't believe in sugarcoating things. I'm sort of a fictive as well, but the source material is problematic and we don't really talk about it.

Jade (she/her): You'll likely see me arguing with Locke. A lot. He's my brother, but sometimes I want to smack him. I'm a new discovery to the system. Like Jez, I'm sort of a fictive.

Ilya (she/her): I am also technically a fictive, but we don't really use the distinction much. Loki is my father, Natasha is my sister, as is Taliya from Willful-Chaotics-Assembled. Yelena is my sister of the heart. You'll probably see me a lot, I tend to front more than the others. My...husband? Boyfriend? I don't really know what term to use for him. I guess Partner works. Anyway, my partner (romantic and otherwise) is the Winter Soldier. He's here too, but also doesn't front much.

Yelena (she/her): Apparently everyone thinks I'm funny. To be fair, I think I'm hilarious. I am also a fictive. I am....dating would be the word, I believe...Taliya from Willful-Chaotics-Assembled. I like tasing things.

Natasha (she/her): You know me as the Black Widow. I don't front much, unless my sister wants me. Rumors of my demise were greatly exaggerated.

Dalia (she/her): I am Radames' daughter. My full name is Vidalia, but I don't like anyone calling me that. My father calls me Lia, Loki (who I see forgot to mention that we are together) calls me Vi. Everyone else calls me Dalia.

Ruby Red (she/her): not to be confused with Rubye. I'm sort of the protector of the system. We like to think I'm what Parker would have been if she hadn't gone through trauma, but honestly, we don't know. I don't know how often I'll front, Zoe seems to have a handle on a lot of the things I do, but I'm here.

Lyssa Davis (she/her): I’m not new, exactly, but I’m a recent fronter. I am Roger’s twin sister. I tend to be quiet but I’ll probably post more often than Rog.

~~~

Those are the main folks likely to interact on the blog. If others decide to front, you can access my system members page from my blog, I'll paste this intro there as well to be updated as needed.

-Parker

#intro post

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colour-outside-the-liness · 3 years

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Hi Colour! How are you doing today? I don't know about doing meaningful things with my life, feel like I've just been surviving this entire time lol. However I am trying to figure it out and working on building the life I want to live and hopefully I will be able contribute to this world in some way.

I don't think I've ever played a game of trivial pursuit. Have never been to a pub either, not like the ones you have in the UK anyway. Just been to very dirty bars where me and my friends used to drink as much as we could afford, shared questionable food that could potentially make us sick the next day and there were no quizzes or games really haha. So your exp sounds way more fun! 😂

I'm glad you're giving the song a chance! Only Spotify knows how many times I've listened to it lol. I reckon Hozier's going to be my artist of the year for 2021. I love attributing works of art to Dani x Jamie, have a whole ass Pinterest board full with images of paintings, poetry, music and anything that I think relates to them really (yeah I know, I have a problem).

I love everything you've said about how Dani, Viola and the lady in the lake are alike, I hadn't really thought about their similarities before, but everything you've said makes perfect sense. I always saw Viola as a narcissist, even her drive to protect her child felt selfish in a way, don't know if you know what I mean. And when she fades away and becomes the lady she's just pure (almost animalistic) instinct while on auto pilot, bc she only remembers rage and abandonment, she takes anything on her path aggressively unless they're a child. So what she sees in Dani is not processed logically, right? It's pure instinct and emotions, so what she recognizes in her when Dani invites her in is the desperate need to protect this child, so she sees her as deserving. Perhaps she also saw in Dani and opportunity to escape this nightmare. Despite all her faults she didn't deserve what happened to her either.

And don't get me wrong, Jamie is so, so strong and solid and she is my favorite mostly bc I identify with her personality more than Dani's. But we know Jamie is all that even before we learn her story, and I feel like it is expected that she'll be the strong and brave one bc she's had to be that her entire life albeit unwillingly. But Dani? We expect her to break at any given point, I mean she is reaching her limit after all that's happened, with all the weight she's carrying. I remember thinking "Jesus, this girl needs help" when I first watched the show hahaha. But she fights every damn time, she doesn't run away and that's why I find her so fascinating. That's why I thought this song was so fitting. Even if Dani would never see herself that way. But it's Jamie's perspective (and fire signs tend to exaggerate everything 😂) so it feels fitting that she thinks so highly of her baby haha. Ugh I just wanted them to stay together forever. 🥺

Omg yes! I love how you refined this idea, good thing you're a writer and I'm not hahaha. And yeah I'm absolutely here for sapphics with weapons like holy shit imagine Jamie fighting with a sword? 🤤 I'm weak. Hahaha would be cool to see them in a pirate AU too! Maybe someone's already done it? Idk. But aaaah I want to see them in every possible universe hahaha. Makes me want to get back into drawing too. 😩

Aww you two sound like you have a lovely bond going on. Your niece sounds like the coolest! I started out drawing anime too when I was a kid and ended up doing graphic design for a living! How did learning how to draw anime style go for you today?

Hey I'm doing great thank you I hope you are too? I know that feeling because I feel like that's how I have made it to 27 just surviving (barely) and taking things one day at a time to get me to this point and hopefully I can contribute in some way even it its just a small way... so I totally get that feeling but I am sure you contribute so much without you even realising it!! Oh it's great but depending on how competitive the people you're playing with are it can get pretty heated... I've been in some heated games of it before because people just refuse to believe I know the answers to some of the questions and they think I've been cheating and have all but demanded I have another question asked instead of the one I got right... and pub quizzes can be fun again depending on the team you're in and how seriously you wanna take it I have been in teams where its been a serious thing and we have all desperately wanted to win and then I've been in teams and we've just had fun with it... all the pubs I go in are dirty bars too but sometimes they have pub quizzes... I have had many nights where I have drank what I can afford... one night me on my roommate went over board though and we ended up spending ALL our money even our taxi fair and we had to walk home in the dark along country roads with hardly any lights to guide us... because of how drunk we were it too us around 3-4 hours and I fell over a road sign and ended up in a ditch... I've had a lot of fun experiences but some really stupid ones as well... your experiences sound great though!! I would love that!! I listened to the song and I loved it so much!! I don't even wanna know what my most listened to artist will be this year... my money is on it being the Six musical soundtrack... probably All You Wanna Do from that musical I'll be surprised if it's anything else. I would love for it to be someone like Hozier, but ever since I have done my Spotify wrapped thing it's always been a musical of some kind that's been my number 1 song / artist haha I love doing the same thing. If I can make something fit Dani x Jamie I will like it doesn't even matter what it is haha... I don't think you have a problem I think that sounds so cool!! I have nothing like that. I just have a head full of random ideas screaming to be let out I agree Viola is definitely selfish and narcissistic and everything she did came from a place of anger and rage over the things that happened to her she fell in love and got married and had a child and saw her sister try and take that from her while she was ill and in the end her sister killed her. Like yeah, I do feel sorry for Perdita with the way she was treated but I do think everything Viola did was out of frustration over what was happening to her. Like you said she acts on auto pilot and only knows rage until it comes to children- because all she knows is she is looking for a child so when she saw Dani so selfless sacrifice herself for a child she saw a little bit of herself in Dani she knows Dani is a good person and she can relate to that protective streak and I think she did see Dani as deserving I definitely agree with everything you've said here. Viola might have had faults and flaws and who doesn't? But I definitely think she had it rough and did deserve better than she was given. I agree, you can tell looking at Jamie that she is strong and brave while Dani comes off as the exact opposite. But I think you see fully how brave they both are when Dani sacrifices herself for Flora and when Jamie offers to keep Dani company and loves her despite knowing she won't be able to love her forever. I love Jamie but definitely relate to Dani's personality more, there are a lot of things Dani does that I see myself in her because I have done those types of things myself and the whole beast in the jungle speech resonates with me so much and every time I watch the last episode and hear that speech I am a crying mess from that point on. It's funny that you thought that about Dani when you first watched it, because me and my sisters got my mum to

watch it and she said the same thing about Dani "she needs help" but then once told me she liked Dani because she reminded her of me that was an interesting conversation to be a part of "Dani needs help... but I like her she's like you." I was like "Thanks?" I agree this song is definitely more how Jamie would see Dani, I think Dani just has a very blasé view of herself, like I don't think she's self conscious or self deprecating in anyway but I think she sort of walks around like "this is me and this is just how I am" where as Jamie just sees Dani for how brave and strong and amazing she is- maybe even if as a fire sign she exaggerates a little bit haha Jamie just thinks Dani is the most amazing person in the world and I just know that Dani saw her the same way!! I really wanted them to be together forever... I am never going to emotionally recover from Bly Manor. Your idea was incredible and I think it would be a great story to read honestly that's the type of thing I live for!! OMG Jamie with a sword is just 🤤 🥵 I am all for sapphics and weapons of any kind!! There's this pirate AU which is absolutely amazing!! I don't know if you've read it or not but iamalekza writes some really great fics!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/28631598/chapters/70179306 ^^ Pirate AU I really wish I could draw I would love to be able to draw scenes from fics I have read and even ones I have written but I just don't have the skill set for that!! I would love to see other fan arts though I think drawing is such an incredible talent to have and I am in awe of anyone that can do it!! Me and my niece have a great bond, she's like a little mini me (despite almost being as tall as me). She is honestly such a cool kid I have a hell of a lot of fun with her- I'm looking after her again tomorrow and I have no idea what we're gonna do but we will figure something out... she's such a good drawer she's only just started doing it at the beginning of the year and she's really progressed with it... I however have not so I am definitely gonna need more practice. That's so cool that you started out doing anime drawing and then ended up going into a career in graphic design. Again that's a talent that I am just in awe of because it's just something I have never been able to do!!

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turtlepated · 4 years

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The Handbook for the Recently Married (to the Deceased)

Chapter 4:

[No trigger warnings in this one. Also not a whole lot of action, looooots of things to talk about. Y’know how it is, newly married couple, just moved in together, getting a feel for one another’s boundaries. Or total lack thereof]

Tag list: @sapphic-florals , @beetlejuicebeadoll , @do-ya-hear-that-sound , @imtherain , @imsuchahobbit , @pastelnacht , @tialanderrol , @sammyskip , @monsterlovinghours

Also tagging @hoodoo12 for helping me out by giving me 2 historical figures and a condiment!

----

It had been dark when I emerged from the fireplace, and I had no idea precisely how much time had passed since then, but it looked to be dusk when I exited the house with my new spouse. I was keenly aware that I was still wearing the rather gauche wedding dress and there was a very real chance of a coworker driving through and seeing the two of us walking down the road. I wasn’t entirely ready to try and deal with that sort of explanation, but I was still more than a little anxious to get back home.

Beetlejuice paused at the end of the Deetz’s driveway, arms akimbo, taking a deep breath through his nose and arching his back to exaggerate the effect. “Ah!” he burst out on the exhale, a huge grin on his face. “The sweet smell of freedom! Thanks a million, babes! I owe ya one! So, where’s your house exactly?” I pointed at it, just visible from where we were standing and he squinted, frowning in thought. “Oh, ok,” he said, nodding. “Funny I never noticed it before. Guess the set designers didn’t bother with it since it wasn’t part of the plot til now.” I blinked dumbly as he strolled past me in the direction of the house. “I’m gonna nod like I understand what you just said.” I trailed behind him all the way to the house. As I passed my mailbox I realized that I never did get my mail from the Deetzes. Beetlejuice was waiting for me at the front door, which I knew to be locked as I only ever used to side door, and I didn’t have a key hidden outside anywhere. “This way,” I told him, nodding toward the side of the house. “I didn’t lock it when I came out.” I decided against adding that it was because I hadn’t expected to be away for so long. Hopefully no one had gone in and stolen anything. I pulled the door open and Beetlejuice called to stop me.

“Ooh! Hold up, babes! Always wanted to do this!” Despite feeling like there was grime caked on every square inch of my skin, parched and hungry and desperate to crawl into my bed, I experienced a peculiar fluttering in the pit of my stomach as he hustled up to me by the open door, grinning. Was he planning to carry me over the threshold? Would he even know about that wedding tradition?

I felt warmth creeping into my face as he draped an arm around my shoulders, and the next second I was yelping in distress and alarm as he swung himself up and deposited his full weight against me. I scrambled reflexively to catch hold of him bridal style, under the knees and around his back, straining under the unexpected burden. “Ain’t it just like in the fairy tales?” he giggled, batting his eyelashes at me as I staggered forward through the doorway into the laundry room. Mercifully, Beetlejuice lowered his feet to the floor and stood, striding through excitedly into the kitchen and turning in a full circle as he avidly examined what I supposed would now be our shared living space. I pulled the door shut, smiling despite myself at his infectious enthusiasm, leaving him to wander around and plunder while I padded to the bedroom to find my phone.

It was on the floor, presumably the vibrations caused by a missed call or two had sent it toppling off the headboard, but at least it was undamaged. I checked my messages, discovering with an unpleasant start that a full two days had elapsed between first going to the Deetz house and coming back. There were a few missed texts and calls from my mom, which I would have to quickly think of some explanations for or she’d be on a plane, train, or hot air balloon to come and make sure I was okay. I didn’t want Beetlejuice to overhear me, so I quickly typed out some malarkey about going to a movie Friday night and forgetting to take my phone off silent. It was watery and wouldn’t hold up, but she’d have no reason to suspect I was lying, and I did feel a guilty twinge at that. I sighed heavily and flopped face first on my bed. What a way to spend a weekend…. And tomorrow was Monday, back to the grind. But everything about my life had suddenly been turned completely upside down and no one knew. How could everything be so different and also still the same? My stomach gurgled angrily, reminding me that I was famished and dehydrated and so, so tired. I hauled myself up and returned to the kitchen, passing Beetlejuice in the living room examining the odds and ends on my bookshelves. “Nice digs, babe,” he said, taking a decorative ceramic ball from a pedestal vase, idly tossing and catching it like a softball as he followed me into the kitchen. I didn’t reply, going to the fridge and pulling open the door while he lounged against the counter, watching me reach in and pull out a bottle of water.

Twisting off the cap and tossing it on the island I tipped my head back and drained the whole bottle in one go, not caring that some of it washed down my chin and onto the front of my dress. I tossed the empty bottle in the trash can by the still open fridge and dove back in for a second, going slower this time and gasping for air in between swallows. Beetlejuice was regarding me with hooded eyes, running his tongue over his teeth as he chuckled in amusement. “Gee whiz, babes, you sure are…thirsty,” he said, waggling his eyebrows and putting an extremely salacious emphasis on the word ‘thirsty’. I waited until I’d got my breath back, fixing him with a knowing look as I said, “Well someone, not using any names, but someone locked me in a cellar for two days.” At that his eyes widened, sucking his tongue back into his mouth and rolling his lips between his teeth. “Oh, right… Yeah, um… my bad,” he stammered. I raised my own eyebrows in triumph, harrumphing through my nose just so he’d know I wasn’t above calling him out. “I’m starved, too,” I said, turning my attention away from the fidgeting demon and back to the contents of the fridge. “But everything in here is either spoiled now or has to be cooked. I don’t wanna cook.”

My stomach growled loudly again. Just for something to shut it up I grabbed a pack of hotdogs. They were already cooked and, while not exactly a filling or nutritious meal, they’d tide me over. I shut the door with my elbow, plucking a sausage from the pack and raising it to my open mouth, pausing halfway through the motion at a tiny whining sound. Beetlejuice was staring at me, his mouth hanging slightly open in a wolfish grin and, if I wasn’t mistaken, a bead of drool working its way down his bottom lip. Considering what I was doing at the moment I didn’t have to wonder what was going through his mind. With a disapproving scowl I bit off the end of the hotdog, my teeth audibly clicking together, gratified when Beetlejuice cringed and recoiled. He picked up on my metaphor, then. I sighed through my nose as I chewed, extending the package towards him as a peace offering. “Want one?” I asked around the half-chewed sausage. He eyed it dubiously, glancing from the proffered package to my face. “Is this innuendo?” he asked, and I rolled my eyes. “Just take one.”

Grumbling to himself, Beetlejuice reached in and withdrew a sausage. I didn’t even care that I could see the dirt on his fingers when I reached in after him and took a second myself, it would give my immune system something to do. It was much more entertaining to watch Beetlejuice sniffing the hot dog like an exotic cigar. He leered suggestively as I watched him, locking his eyes with mine as he let his mouth fall open and slid the whole hot dog in right to his own fingertips, closing his lips around them and pulling them free one by one with soft, wet pops. I rolled my eyes again and shook my head hopelessly. The look that came over him, his eyes growing huge, his big, show of chewing slowing into almost stillness. He looked at me. “I can taste it!” he garbled. I frowned, not understanding. “Well… yeah?” He shook his head, making a vague gibbering noise as he rushed toward me excitedly. “No, you don’t get it!” he went on. “I’ve never been able to taste before! Why didn’t anybody tell me tasting things was so good?!”

Bewildered I obligingly held up the package as he delved back in with his dirty fingers and pulled out two more, shoving them into his mouth. He laughed, spraying bits of food. “Ha! This takes me back! There was this one time I was hangin with old Henry VIII, that was one wild sonovabitch, lemme tell ya! Anyway, long story short, me and King Henry and… oh yeah, Nikola Tesla got in there somehow or another… so the three of us and a jar of horseradish sauce, if ya know what I mean… Spiciest ménage of my afterlife! Literally… Holy crap, did it sting…” In fact I didn’t know precisely what he meant, but I was afraid that if I said so he would explain so I quickly changed the subject. “I have an idea.” Licking his fingers and then wiping them off on the ruffled front of his tuxedo shirt, Beetlejuice gave me a nod. “Shoot, babes.” I held up the hot dog pack. “Let’s get some real food.” His brows furrowed in confusion. “Real food as opposed to…. Imaginary food?” I laughed and clarified. “Something good, I mean. Something we actually want and not just what’s around.” Beetlejuice pulled a face as he eyed the nearly empty plastic package. “Yeah, it was exciting at first but I’m kinda over it now. That’s what she said,” he agreed, apparently unable to stop himself from making amorous asides.

I sighed through my nose but smiled in a long-suffering sort of way as I chucked the remainder of the pack in the trash, plucking a menu from beneath the magnet that held it to the side of the fridge. “There’s a really good Cantonese place in town,” I said, my eyes scanning the menu items. “And they deliver. Chinese work for you?” He shrugged. “Babes, I ate a live duck once. I’m not picky.” I laughed out loud before I could think to stifle it, suddenly struck by just how crazy this whole situation really was. When I managed to get ahold of myself again Beetlejuice was watching me with a strange expression, smiling crookedly. “I gotta say, you’re taking all this surprisingly well,” he remarked. I sighed tiredly, the laughter still tugging at my lips. “I don’t think it’s really hit me yet,” I confessed before trying to get the conversation back on track. “How bout this: I already know what I want, why don’t you figure out what you want while I get a shower, I’ll order while you’re in the shower and by the time you’re done the food should be here.”

Beetlejuice had been nodding along absently as I spoke but he gave a sudden start, taking a large step back from me and raising a palm in a warding off gesture. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! pump the brakes there, doll,” he said, his face unusually business-like. “You think this happens all by itself?” Beetlejuice made vague gestures up and down his person. “I put a lot of work into my aesthetic, babes. I been working on this patch of moss for months, and you want me to just scrub it off?” He pressed a hand over his heart as if deeply offended. I folded my arms and cocked an eyebrow at him, unmoved. Seeing my reaction, Beetlejuice frowned and mimicked me, crossing his arms over his chest. “Nope. Nothin’ doin’. I’m a demon, babes. Demon’s don’t do showers.” We glowered at one another in silence for a few moments, a stalemate. I sighed heavily and let my arms drop. Taking a hard line was getting us nowhere quickly, so I changed tactics. “Look, Beetlejuice,” I said, noting that he flinched marginally at the sound of his name. “We’re… married now. Which means my house is now your house. And I want you to be comfortable here. But if you’re gonna be making yourself at home; going through the fridge and using the dishes, sitting on the couch and so on, you need to practice at least some basic hygiene or I’m gonna be constantly having to clean.” His frown deepened, unconvinced, so I pressed on. “Call it compromise, isn’t that part of the whole ‘being married’ thing? I’m asking you to be squeaky clean all the time, just a shower like a couple times a week. That wouldn’t be so bad, would it?” He cocked his head to the side and made a face, a vague uncooperative groan emitting from deep in his throat.

“Alternatively,” I added. “I could get those horrible plastic furniture covers like my Great Aunt Muriel used to have.” I dipped my chin and raised my eyebrows, looking up at him through my lashes. “Are you gonna make me be like my Great Aunt Muriel?” Beetlejuice’s stoic veneer cracked as he snort-laughed through his nose, letting his own arms fall to his sides with the longest of long-suffering sighs. “Fiiiiiiine, I can be a team player. If it’s that big a deal I guess I can…” His face wrinkled into a look of utter disgust as a shudder passed through him. “Shower.” He gagged on the word. I chuckled to myself, wondering again how much of it was genuine distaste and how much was just exaggeration. I gave an affirmative nod to his acquiescence and headed for my….our? bedroom. Beetlejuice followed me. “Hey, Beetlejuice?” I called back to him, hearing his breath catch and his footsteps falter. “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?” I stopped at the foot of the bed, kicking out of my shoes while he took to looking around the bedroom. “I’m an open book, babes,” he said. “Just, uh… go easy on the B-word there, ‘kay?” I frowned to myself as I passed into the bathroom. Maybe there was a good reason why Lydia always called him by a nickname.

“Okay, Beej,” I said, trying out Lydia’s preferred diminutive to see how he took it. “Can I ask if there’s any particular reason besides your moss that you don’t like showers? Is it like a phobia thing?” He laughed, a harsh sound. “Phobia? Me? As if, babe. No, nothin’ like that. I’m from the Netherworld. You know what they don’t have in the Netherworld?” I shook my head and he went on. “Well, they don’t have a lot of stuff, really, but the one I’m referring to in particular is showers. Everybody’s dead, no one cares about being clean. And when I got banished to the Upperworld I was invisible, intangible; even in the rare occasion I got summoned it was to scare breathers. Nobody was rolling out the welcome wagon and offering me the use of their facilities.” I frowned, intrigued and a little disturbed by parts of his explanation. He’d been banished to the living world? Why? By whom? Filing those questions away for later, I pressed on with our current topic. “That makes sense,” I conceded. “So it’s not that you don’t actually like cleanliness, it’s more that you never really had the opportunity?” Beetlejuice shrugged, leaning bending at the waist to inspect framed photos I kept on the lower half of my bookshelf. “I guess, maybe. But I also have a reputation to look after. And there’s my clients to consider, they have certain expectations, y’know?”

I stilled in the process of grabbing some clean lounge-around clothes to change into, fixing him with a curious look. “You have clients? What do you do?” At my question he turned, smirking like the cat that ate the canary. “Baby doll, you are hitched to the Underworld’s leading bio-exorcist!” he preened, tucking his thumbs into the shoulders of his waistcoat. I had no idea what that meant, but he looked so proud of himself that I quickly made the appropriate impressed noises and expressions. “I’m gonna jump in the shower,” I said. “Check out the menu and pick out whatever you want! I won’t be long.” I flipped on the light switch and stepped in, depositing my things on the counter before turning back to shut the door only to find him standing there, regarding me with hooded eyes and a lascivious grin. “You know,” he drawled, making a show of nonchalantly walking his fingers up the door frame. “We are married, like you said. So what’s stoppin’ us from….” He trailed off coyly, glancing at the shower stall and gesturing first at me and then himself, raising his eyebrows. His leer widened as I felt warmth spiking in my cheeks again. By way of answer, I took a step back and shut the door firmly in his face.

Shucking the heavy red wedding gown and leaving it puddled on the floor, I stepped quickly into the stall and closed the door. The steaming hot water felt positively divine, sluicing through my greasy hair, down my back, over my shoulders, and I could have gladly stood under it until it ran out. But I knew I needed to save some for Beetlejuice, and I also couldn’t shake the worry that he might try to sneak in, so I hurried through my ablutions at breakneck speed. My oversized nightshirt clung to me a bit in the humidity created by the closed bathroom door, and I felt clean but uncomfortably flushed in my long pajama pants for the same reason. Still, I didn’t dare go for something more revealing. The last thing I needed was to give the one-track-minded demon any ideas. Beetlejuice had settled himself on the couch and glanced up from the menu in his hands as I entered. He’d loosened his bowtie, which hung limp around his opened collar, and popped the buttons on the snug waistcoat that stretched tight across his round middle. “You’re up,” I said, thumbing toward the bathroom. “I laid out some towels and a change of clothes for you.” Beetlejuice made a face again and slid down against the back of the sofa until his chin met his chest, letting out a long plaintive groan.

I shot him an indulgent smile. “Go on, the sooner you start the sooner it’s over,” I said as he peeled himself off the sofa. I swiped the menu from him as he passed me. “Decide what you want?” He stopped himself midstride and doubled back, grinning ear to ear. “Well, if you’re offering-” I cut him off, “To eat.” Beetlejuice tilted his head and raised his eyebrows, the grin only widening. “That doesn’t actually discount-” “From the Golden Dragon!” I clarified again, still overheated from my shower and hoping he would think that’s why my face was so red. Laughing all the way to the bathroom, Beetlejuice left and I heard the water start running a short time later. I called in our order, waiting around in the kitchen for the delivery guy. There came a knock at the door about twenty minutes later and I answered it, relieving the winded teenaged boy of his numerous paper bags. I cleared everything off the coffee table, dragged it closer to the couch and laid out our rather extensive spread, practically a buffet in its own right. Beetlejuice emerged from the bathroom, still pale but significantly less grimy, wearing another oversized nightshirt of mine that fit him rather well and a pair of my own sleep pants. He was scowling.

“Polar bears in hats? Seriously?” he griped, picking at the plushy material that was indeed decorated with smiling polar bears wearing winter caps. I grinned at his discomfort, enjoying the turnabout as I plopped myself on the couch. “That happens to be a favorite pair! I thought it’d at least be more comfortable than your suit pants. Come on, lets eat before it gets cold.” Grumbling under his breath he sat himself heavily next to me and we tucked in. Not much later I sat back, full and satisfied and still with a lot of leftovers. It was beginning to get late, and I knew I’d have to get up early in the morning to get ready for work. I left Beetlejuice amusing himself by eating the packets of duck sauce and spicy mustard while I cleared the table and put away the rest of the food, rapidly approaching the part of the evening I’d been most apprehensive about.

Where was he going to sleep tonight?

-------------

Comfy boy hours! Even if he’s not too terribly thrilled by her selection.

I’m really on a roll so hopefully Chapter 4 won’t be far away!

Thanks for reading!!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 5

#beetlejuice #beetlejuice the musical #beetlejuice x reader #beetlejuice x self insert #my writing #Pate writes #The Handbook

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gaytrashgoblin · 6 years

Text

Merry Pitchmas!

Happy holidays from your no longer secret santa, @prettylittlesestras!

Chloe was excited. Since they weren’t speaking during the holidays last year, because of the whole quitting thing, this would be the first time Chloe would get to celebrate her favorite holiday with her favorite person! Knowing how tense things were for Beca with her father, she figured the girl would be staying in the Bella house for Christmas. Which is why she begged off going home to see her parents and brother this year. So, excited was probably an understatement. Chloe was ecstatic. Until she saw Beca start packing a week before the holiday.

“Hey, whatcha up to?” she asked as she bounced into the brunette’s room.

“Packing to head home. You going down to Florida?”

“Oh, um, not this year no…” she trailed off. Beca looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.

“How come?”

“I just… well I thought you were staying here because of your dad, and I didn’t want you to be alone…” Beca quickly moved back out of her closet at the admission, fixing Chloe with an incredulous stare.

“Wait, for real? You blew off your family to keep me company?” When the redhead nodded, Beca shook her head with a laugh. “Okay, weirdo. Go pack your stuff. And it’s snowing, so keep that in mind.”

“Pack my stuff? I just told you-”

“Yeah, no, I’m not gonna leave you stranded when you decided to stay for me or whatever. So, go pack your stuff, you’re coming to Oregon with me. And don’t even try to argue, my mom wants to meet you anyway,” she added when she saw the redhead prepare to say something. Chloe was the only person she had ever felt so comfortable around. And maybe it filled her stomach with butterflies that she had decided to stay to prevent Beca from being alone. And maybe it made Beca feel like maybe she had a real shot with the girl. And maybe she wanted to introduce her closest friend to her mom and family. Maybe.

“Your mom won’t mind? I don’t wanna crash your celebration.” Beca sighed as she moved from her bag to stand in front of her.

“Chloe, of course you can come. You’re like, my best friend. I’ve… never really had one before, so like, my mom wanted to meet you at some point anyway, because you got me out of my shell, or whatever,” she said shyly. The awkwardness she had felt with the admission was well worth it to see the bright smile on Chloe’s face as the girl squealed happily, then jumped into her, wrapping her arms around her tightly.

“I’m so excited! I can’t wait!”

“Ok nerd!” Beca called after her as she ran to her room to pack. This would be an interesting trip.

The flight had been boring, seeing as they both slept through it. As Beca was grabbing their bags, slapping Chloe’s outstretched hand away, a loud voice rang out.

“Bumblebee!” A brunette woman had yelled. Beca smiled and whipped her head around. She dropped the bags and ran at the woman, launching herself into her. She was only a few inches taller than Beca, and Chloe could see the woman was her mother, since they looked almost exactly the same. Once she was back on her own feet, Beca realized she had dropped their stuff and picked it up while gesturing the redhead over.

“Chlo, this is my mom, Linda. Mama, this is Chloe,” she introduced. To Chloe’s surprise, the woman drew her into a hug.

“It’s great to meet you, Chloe! I’ve heard so much about you!”

“It’s great to meet you too,” she replied. As her mother started talking to Chloe, Beca watched with a fond smile. She missed her mom like crazy, and she was glad that she liked Chloe. If the redhead’s surprised smile was anything to go by, the feeling was mutual. Beca opted to sit in the back with Chloe once they got to the car, and she asked her mom the dreaded question.

“So, who all made it this year? I figure we’re the last to show up?” Her mom hummed.

“Yeah, you’re fashionably late, as usual. Let’s see, your sister and her family, your aunt and her family, Uncle Josh, Grams and Gramps…” She trailed off, making Beca tense.

“How many of the cousins made it?”

“Oh, you know, Jason, Maddie, Liv, Brandy, and Peter.” Beca’s mother cackled when Beca groaned. Chloe had no idea the brunette had such a large family. She had kind of assumed Beca didn’t have much family. At her look of confusion, Beca clarified.

“Right, so, my family should all love you. The only problem is my cousins, who are all assholes. To me specifically.”

“Oh stop exaggerating!” Her mom added. “They do love to tease you though.”

“About what?”

“Oh, uh, I’m the only cousin that… likes girls. Which they find hilarious, since they can all talk about boys and I would rather not.” Beca’s face had gone red, knowing that, while she didn’t hide it, she didn’t really make an effort to tell anyone either. She’s only liked one girl since she came to Barden, and said girl is currently sitting, like, three inches from her.

“Wait, what! Why’d you never tell me that? CR and I totally thought we were the only sapphics in the house,” she pouted playfully. Beca just nudged her with her shoulder with a shrug.

“I wasn’t hiding it or anything. It just… never came up.” Chloe nodded, bumping her shoulder back playfully with a smile. A few minutes later, they pulled up to Beca’s childhood home.

“Oh, Beca, do you and Chloe mind sharing your room? We’re a little short on space since so many made it out this year.”

“Nope, we’re cool,” she said with no hesitation. She and Chloe had shared a bed far more than once; they’d be fine.

“Alright, well, once you get your stuff settled, you can come introduce Chloe to the family.”

“Sure thing ma,” she replied, ushering Chloe down the hall and into her bedroom. It was slate grey with white baseboards. Her room was covered with band and musician posters, concert photos and signed memorabilia, and loads of pictures of her and her family.

“I didn’t know you were so close to your family, Becs.” Beca’s brows furrowed.

“What d’you mean? I talk about my sister Sarah all the time. And my aunts Danielle and Rin.” Chloe’s jaw dropped. Beca had talked about all those people rather frequently.

“Maybe you should have told me at some point that they were related to you!” Chloe said with a wide smile.

“I thought I did. My bad,” she said with a shy smile. “So, ready for the inquisition?” Chloe nodded with another smile. Chloe grabbed Beca’s hand and laced their fingers as Beca directed them to the backyard, and the brunette didn’t even think about it. They did it pretty much all the time, so she wasn’t phased by it. As they stepped out, there was a chorus of people yelling Beca’s name or some nickname of hers. Beca smiled at them, then gestured to Chloe.

“Hey guys! This is Chloe Beale, my best friend and co-captain of the Bellas.” Beca walked them around, greeting her various family members and introducing Chloe properly. They were about to move to the group of people that looked their age when someone jumped onto Beca from behind.

“You sneaky bitch! You think you could get away without seeing me!” Beca shouted in surprise, but caught the girl’s legs from below so she didn’t fall nonetheless.

“Sarah! What the fuck have I told you about jumping on me? One of these days I am going to just let you fall on your ass!”

“Ah no you won’t. You love me too much, sis,” she said smugly as she dropped onto the floor. Beca turned around and punched her sister in the arm with a barely contained smile.

“Asshole.”

“Pot. Kettle. Anyway, who is this?” She said, looking at Chloe, who stepped in then.

“Hi, I’m Chloe! Beca’s told me so much about you.”

“Oh! You’re, Chloe, huh? Beca’s definitely mentioned you before,” she said with a smirk directed at her younger sister, turning her face bright red.

“Alright, that’s enough. Where’s Tommy and baby Lou?”

“I here auntie B!” The little boy shouted as he ran at Beca. Chloe watched with undisguised awe as Beca scooped up the maybe four year old boy and tickled him with her free hand.

“There you are! I missed you. You’re so big, you’re gonna be bigger than me in no time!”

“But you’re tiny, auntie B,” he said through his giggles. Beca’s jaw fell when her sister started cackling. The boy wiggled out of her grasp and started running around before she could respond. Chloe walked over and wrapped her arm around the brunette’s shoulder, whispering to her.

“It’s okay. I love that you’re tiny.” Beca’s face went red again, and Chloe smiled.

“Nerd,” Beca responded fondly. Chloe shrugged and kissed her cheek before bouncing toward the patio to get something to drink, Beca following a few steps behind. She saw her mother, and her two favorite aunts, watching her and Chloe’s interactions closely. Her aunt Danielle looked at her pointedly while Chloe was distracted, and Beca made a cut throat gesture. Of course her mother and her two gay aunts knew about her feelings for Chloe. As if the way she acted around the redhead wasn’t a big enough rainbow flag for her family to know she was head over heels in love. Which she had never been before. Her aunt put her hands up in a surrender gesture, so Beca turned back to Chloe, who was carrying a drink for both of them. She handed Beca her drink with a silent smile.

“So, are you going to introduce me to the infamous cousins?”

“Not if I can avoid it,” Beca muttered, taking a sip of her drink. Beca heard Rin, her aunt Danielle’s wife, call out for Chloe. The two of them both looked up, but Chloe looked to Beca.

“Go ahead. If they meant me they would have said me, I’m sure,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

“Okay. You know where I’ll be then,” she chirped, making her way over to Beca’s aunts and mom. As soon as Chloe sat down, Beca was grabbed from behind and being dragged away with a hand over her mouth. She fought for all of ten seconds before rolling her eyes and biting the hand over her mouth.

“Ow! She fucking bit me!”

“Damn right I did, you bitch,” Beca responded to her cousin Brandy, who had been the one that grabbed her. “You all know better than to grab me if you want your limbs and nuts left in tact,” she said to the group of cousins that was gathered in the garden on the side of the house.

“Yeah, yeah. Big bad Beca’s gonna get me, whatever. Now, tell us about the girl you brought with you! Who is she? You two look awfully comfortable,” her very stereotypically gay cousin Peter asked.

“Chloe? She’s, like, my best friend. Co-captain of my club,” she said with a shrug. All five cousins looked at her with disbelieving expressions.

“Right,” Peter said, dragging out the word. “And I’m the captain of the football team.” Beca scoffed.

“Beca, we’ve been watching you two. Don’t even try to deny the fact that you two are together,” Madison added, making Beca groan.

“We are not!”

“Bu you want to be,” Olivia said softly. “You want to be with her, don’t you?”

“What is with you guys? Chloe is my best friend, why can’t you just leave it alone?”

“Because it’s obvious that you like her, just admit it!” Jason said. Beca stepped toward him threateningly as she responded.

“Fine! I like her! The only friend I’ve ever really had, and I fucking like her! Happy?!” Jason’s condescending smirk made her want to punch him, so she turned to leave. Her anger left her body instantly as she saw Chloe standing a few feet behind her, staring at her with a dropped jaw. Beca half screamed in irritation as she stormed away from her asshole cousins. She grabbed Chloe’s hand as she passed and dragged the redhead with her as she went straight into the house and to her bedroom. Slamming the door, Beca started pacing her bedroom, muttering under her breath.

“Can’t believe… murder him… like this… god damnit.” On her maybe tenth or eleventh turn, Chloe caught her by her shoulders. Beca huffed, her head dropping as she stared at the floor.

“So, those are my cousins,” she said blankly.

“Beca… is- is what you said true? Do you like me?”

“I- well, I mean, yeah, but it’s not a big deal, or anything. I’m not gonna make things weird between us, cuz you’re still my friend, so it’s totally fine, and we can-” Beca was cut off by Chloe putting her hand over her mouth. She looked up at her for the first time since her outburst with her cousins. And she saw Chloe smiling softly at her.

“Bec, I like you too,” was all she said. Beca’s eyes bugged out. “Yes, seriously. I have for a long time,” she said with an eyeroll at the brunette’s surprise. Beca tugged at the hand over her mouth, and Chloe let her move it. She was glad she did when Beca didn’t drop her hand, and instead laced their fingers together.

“So… does that mean that I can kiss you?” Beca asked, lightly drawing circles on the redhead’s palm. Chloe’s blinding smile was all the answer she needed to lean forward and press their lips together softly. After a few seconds, Beca pulled back, smiling like an idiot. But it was okay because Chloe looked a lot like she did.

“I guess now I know who I’ll be kissing under the mistletoe,” Beca said with a smirk.

“You don’t need the excuse of mistletoe to kiss me.” Beca smiled.

“No. I guess I don’t.” They were silent for a ew moments. “Chlo?”

“Hmm?”

“Be my girlfriend?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” she responded giddily. Beca leaned in and kissed her again.

“I’m glad you invited me to come home with you for Christmas.”

“Me too. You’re the best Christmas gift ever.” Chloe blushed with a smile.

“Shut up and kiss me,” Chloe whispered to her. So she did. Silently Chloe agreed with her.

Best Christmas ever!

#pitchmas 2017 #merry pitchmas 2017 #bechloe #prettylittlesestras #secret santa

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simptasia · 7 years

Note

Kateclaire and the science squad?

AHH bless you, my faves!! thank you very much!!

kate/claire

when or if I started shipping it:

i honestly don’t remember but i do know that kate/claire didn’t come into my mind during my first watch of the show, it was an afterwards thing. or perhaps… season 6? season 6 made kate/claire shippers of us all, really

my thoughts:

restless, passionate…

my thoughts are, best ship, end game. i genuinely believe they ended up together after the finale (it’s canon they at least LIVE together, raising a son)

i think they love each other, and that people can have multiple soulmates damn it (i don’t care if thats not how it hurts, multiple soulmates!!!). to me, kate really comes across as bi (and i think evie was doing that on purpose, but thats just a theory) and like, claire is bi-who-thought-she-was-straight

Straight Until Kate…. fucking poetry

they’re honestly like, my (non-canon) OTP. and what with LOST lacking lgbta+ diversity, the show would’ve been much stronger if they made ‘em canon bi

buuuut whatever i guess…. we got a lotta handholding. and also the last third of kate’s character arc is dedicated to her (and one could argue, claire was a part of kate’s arc all along) and, i say this all the time but, CLAIRE IS THE REASON KATE WENT BACK TO THAT FUCKING HELL ISLAND. she found the idea of going back to be disgusting and horrible but gosh damn it, claire needed to be rescued. nobody else was gonna do it, apparently. also i’m pretty sure nobody knew is claire was alive or not at this point but kate went back anyways

the completion of kate’s character arc (not running away, accepting responsibility, opening up to the idea of family) is because of claire & aaron!!

also it’s ironic how i imagine claire doesn’t know she’s bi considering she’s the one making the moves. (that starsign scene, the hand holding…)

kate/claire = proactive sunshine femme astrology bi + tomboy hiking butch i’ve never had a job and relationships scare me but i love everyone bi

What makes me happy about them:

that it would take very little adjustment to make them canon

that kate looks 40% butcher anytime she’s near claire (and the inverse, claire looking 40% more femme. she practically glows)

the height difference

kate is so so protective over claire (kate being protective over other women is legit one of my fave things about kate)

a few days into the crash, the first time claire has ever interacted with kate and she correctly guesses that she’s a gemini and that she’s “restless” and “passionate”. A. great observation skills and B. THATS GAY!!!!

THEY’RE LEGIT CANON GONNA RAISE A SON TOGETHER (two sons, if you include my david austen theory)

that they triggered each other’s memories in limbo. that is genuinely one of the best writing decisions ever, like it’s impressive. whoever decided that they would remember together (instead of the expected jack/kate, and charlie/claire - which happens later because MULTIPLE SOULMATES) is a fucking genius. as a writer, audience member and a sapphic, i fucking applaud you

oh and that their connecting scene was the birth of aaron. such an important event to both of them. and it’s kinda foreshadowing at how they’re gonna be mums together

What makes me sad about them:

not canon [sad horn noises]

other than that, very lovely

things done in art/fic that annoys me:

there’s not an abundance of this sorta thing…?

things I look for in art/fic:

FOR IT TO EXIST

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

jack for kate, charlie for claire. of course

My happily ever after for them:

living together, married, raising two boys, honorary aunties to ji yeon, clementine, charlie (hume), dani, izzie & lara. (some of those are OCs!)

claire is an artist for a living (i thinking an illustrator) and i can’t imagine what job kate would or could get. as i’ve said she’s never had a job before… what would she do? gasp… is SHE the housewife? that’s kinda cute. there’s pictures of charlie and jack on the wall, and they are honoured as aaron & david’s fathers and as heroes

kate knows what it’s like to be in a family that doesn’t involve pain and abuse, claire eventually feels safe as the nightmares become less and less. they both have absolute trust in each other which is quite a feat for those two

[happy sigh]

what is their favorite non-sexual activity?

claire likes to paint and draw. kate isn’t much of an artist but claire is encouraging (imagine kate getting blushy over claire’s praise)

listening/singing to music together

claire encourages kate to take up yoga. it’s relaxing. takes a bit to get used to it tho because kate is restless (more of a rock climbing kinda gal)

yeah basically i imagine they do a lot of exercise-y things together

i was gonna say camping too but claire probably never wants to see trees and tents ever again… so avoid that

daniel/charlotte/miles

when or if I started shipping it

the earliest sci team shippy post i made, that i could find, is like from 2013. so maybe during my first watch? or shortly after. somewhere there

my thoughts:

okay so i’ve thought about this and i’ve realised that sci trio shipping is beloved as a concept, especially by me. whilst in canon, this supposed team doesn’t do a lot of teaming. basically my imagination has built them up to be more than what they actually are. and not just in a romantic way. they’re more friends in my head than in the actual show. it’s a tad disappointing actually. see, in the show the science team (the whole thing) is barely a thing. they drop out the sky, the show tries to convince they’re untrustworthy, and then sorta forgets they’re meant to be like colleagues and friends? or at least doesn’t pay attention to that

(miles is given no reactions to char and dan’s deaths. which is FUCKED. i blame writing and direction because no fucking way is this ken leung’s fault. i also blame time constraints which is the biggest reason for lack of sci team stuff)

the dynamic most focused on is dan and charlotte (ah, love..). so throwing miles in there is wishful thinking (i love miles) on my part. because interactions between dan/miles and miles/char in canon? little and none, in that order

but the IDEA is nice

i’m in love with IDEA of these things:

two nerds and a “jeez these nerds” guy (like he isn’t a ghostbusters fan)

a polite timid nerd, a loud passionate nerd and a snarky sardonic cynic

two sciences and a magic

miles being annoyed by, slightly jealous of and wanting in on dan/char

sweet dan in love with people with “bad attitudes” (his words. translation: okay i love you but you’re being bitchy right now and it’s not helping)

char getting the best of both worlds, in my opinion (sugar and salt)

children of the island OT3

being smooshed between people whom look like rebecca mader and ken leung is honestly the best situation you can be in. godspeed dan

and basically i use their personalities (or exaggerated versions of such. espech with charlotte) to project this relationship upon them

TL;DR: barely any sci team interactions in canon, but i adore the ship anyways

What makes me happy about them:

oh shit i make that list up there too early

in general, it feels good? and like theres a lot i can do with it. like i’ve said, i love the concept of their dynamic. like, putting these personalities together is fun!

also

miles uses his powers and dan is immediately on board which means either miles told him on the boat or dan just takes miles at his word without hesitation. both are very plausible and also great

oh and my gosh, my fave thing? these people had possibly months on a boat together off screen. we didn’t get like, any sci team content on screen but thank you for that fanfic/imagination fuel, writers

none of them moved on in the finale which gives me a place to ship them… so basically they’re only shippable outside of the island… huh

char and miles were friends in limbo (thank heavens for small miracles) and thats a great concept. and it also means with char meeting dan in the finale, the TRIANGLE IS COMPLETE. THEY MAY NOW JOIN

that thing dan does where he touches/pets everybody near him? yeah, does that with miles, which isn’t remarkable. miles, like char, doesn’t seem to mind or flinch. which is interesting cuz you’d think miles would react to that. true none of the characters react to dan’s petting (???how) but idc

dan rans to char, pets her hair, face and arms and asks if she’s alright. miles, who is standing near by, says “i’m okay, too”. that sounds like something i would write for them but that actually happened in the show

i like the idea that dan/char (and later sawyer/juliet) make miles reluctantly realise he does want love in his life, which leads to miles/richard one day. this has nothing to do with anything in the show. legit all of that sentence is based on headcanons. and thats a summary of shipping dan/char/miles

uhm… they’re fucking pretty

i’ve slowly made them more and more kinky over time. that makes me happy. it’s also funny

the fact that dan is the tallest of the three and he’s 5 foot 9

i’m certain they’ve all dealt with ableism in their lives. i just like things in common, espech angst things

everything. everything makes me happy about them. even the sad stuff

What makes me sad about them:

tho again, i wish the show remembered these people are friends

on that note, two of miles friend’s died. the show didn’t show him caring but i of course imagine he did. miles has walls but he’s not a cunt

all of ‘em had a fucked up thing happen with a parent (wait no, that’s not an OT3 thing, that’s just a lost is like that thing. anyways, sad)

i have this headcanon that miles is cynical about love (and relationships and romance) cuz like, due to his powers, he grew up with this fucked up perception of death. and throughout he’s seen people absolutely devastated about losing a loved one. this includes dan losing char, sawyer losing jules, and miles himself losing his mum. basically love hurts and he’s decided that pain isn’t worth the temporary amount of happiness. i imagine miles’ bad attitude towards life is caused by this way of thinking. we’re all gonna die, so why bother? only possessions stay so $$$$

….and there’s my miles meta, wow

things done in art/fic that annoys me:

now, sci team content is like, none but i’ve noticed a trend among fandom… their personalities being flanderized a tad too much. and yeah i do that too but i mean

dan being innocent, naive and humourless. we have no reason to assume the first two and fuck no he is humourless. dan has funny lines, he’s just subtle. innocent and naive? maybe kinda. i personally portray dan as innocent and naive in COMPARISON to char & miles (and most other characters). like, the vanilla to their kinky. but again, just by comparison. he’s not totally oblivious. plus he’s a quick learner and can pick up context. i know this all comes from him being so nonthreatening (also it’s a symptom of woobifying. and is also very mildly ableist in this context)

char being a constantly angry shrill bitch. i’m most annoyed by this one. i have some words about this. yes, a couple of times char got angry/bitchy. and it stuck out to people because she’s a woman. as somebody who has analysed like, every moment she’s been on screen, lemme tell you: she is not constantly angry. in fact, when i needed a cap of her looking angry for an art thing, IT WAS GENUINELY HARD TO FIND ONE. char is also very nice to the survivors until they start being mean to her. also she got shot in the chest, i’d be annoyed too. but the most part, char is actually rather pleasant. she’s just… loud. and has a bit of temper. but most of her screentime is with dan, so for the most part she’s soft and sweet with him. because love. i’m annoyed by all this because to this day, within fandom, char is remembered as the angry bitch who died of nosebleeds. fuck y’all, she’s a passionate, polyglottal, determined nerd with a shorter than average fuse and whom loves daniel faraday and chocolate. i know she didn’t get a lot as a character but being remembered for a trait that doesn’t even describe her doesn’t help. like, yeah, my section of the fandom has her be a chocolate obsessed mega trekkie who’s super kinky. is it self-indulgent? fuck yeah (and im proud) but it’s better than seeing her as a constant bitch because she got justifiably angry a few times

ahem anyways

miles as a constant deadpan snarker. okay i see where this comes from, my brain does it too, but miles is not daria. he has tones and inflections. when he isn’t resting grump face, he’s quite emotive. also he has feelings. inside he is very sad. also he cares about his friends. basically he’s not always deadpan. most importantly, miles is an asshole. yes. but he’s not an ASSHOLE. you get me? like, he’s a snarky dick to people but he’s not actually genuinely a bad mean person. this is kinda the point of his character. like his snark is a defense mechanism for his issues. miles would never be an actual (and ableist) cunt to say, hurley or dan. he just has issues connecting with people due to his powers and internal conflict

basically:

dan isn’t a delicate perfect flower of innocence, char isn’t angry all of the time and being a bitch isn’t her entire character, and miles is actually (eventually) a good person who cares and emotes. i’ve seen ken’s face do things, ya know

things I look for in art/fic:

any art and fic of them existing would be nice (points at my icon)

and in fic, as with anything, i’d like it to be in character. and like, boat times, limbo times, it’s all good. have it anyways. also i’ve found like zero fic

there used to be loads of lost fics, but most of ‘em were purged in 2010

[the saddest violin]

• Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

miles/richard is another pairing i love, and thats how i imagine miles lives his life

• My happily ever after for them:

they all live together in limbo land, in dan’s penthouse. basically 80% of my sci team imagination center (the part of my brain specifically dedicated to the science team) is spent in that house. a great dymantic and lots of sex ensues

also piano. also rats. also char has a cat named jean-luc. it hates miles

fuck, i just realised between dan being a musician/sort of scientist, char being an anthropologist and miles being a detective, that penthouse is gonna be FULL of stacks of paper laying around… the sci team personally killed the rainforest

• what is their favorite non-sexual activity?

PLAY US A SONG YOU’RE THE PIANO MAN

watching tv together

i’ve pictured ‘em doing most domestic activities… right now i keep imagining them eating breakfast together in their underwear

showers

dan likes to draw on his lover’s bodies (music notes, equations, cute little pics of rats. miles says dan’d make a decent tattoo artist)

and holy shit get dan and char going, they can talk for hours. and miles can just sorta follow it (and throw in quips) but he loves ‘em anyways

#lost headcanons #sapphicartsandwriting #i went on for like.... 5 years #ahah almost literally #i mean i wrote a lot #like a lot #theres good meta here

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ragecandyfics · 7 years

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Queen of Hearts (Pokemon SuMo Oneshot)

Sapphic September Day 01 Prompt: Magic Fandom: Pokemon Sun/Moon Ship: OceanFlowerShipping (Selene/Lillie) Summary: Selene shows Lillie a magic trick.

Queen of Hearts

“Hey! Lillie! Hold up a sec!”

Lillie had mostly gotten used to Selene’s various… eccentricities by now, but she still jumped with a squeak of surprise, almost dropping her duffle bag. From inside said bag, Nebby trilled unhappily, only slightly muffled by the canvas, and she quickly tucked him under her arm before he could even try to get away again. “Quiet, Nebby!” she hissed, well aware that she was hardly being clandestine herself. “Do you want to get us both caught by Aether?”

Not that the Aether Foundation ever operated out of Malie. As far as either of them knew, they were perfectly safe here―and, either way, Selene was right behind them, and she would help them escape if it really came down to it; Lillie just knew it. Still, she’d grown accustomed to constantly looking over her shoulder, and it was a hard habit to shake.

Nebby must’ve understood that on some level, because he settled back down with only a soft chirp of discontent as Selene jogged up to them. She was waving one arm madly through the air, as if Lillie hadn’t already stopped to let her catch up, and Lillie couldn’t restrain a fond, if bashful, smile. “Yes?” she prompted as Selene dug her heels in and skidded to a halt at her side.

She wasn’t sure what she had expected, but she couldn’t have anticipated for Selene to immediately begin rifling through her bag― “C’mon, c’mon, they’re in here somewhere, I know they’re―aha!―” before victoriously pulling out―

A deck of cards?

Sure enough, Selene eventually fished out a small cardboard box from amidst a sea of potion canisters and bottle caps. It looked like a pretty nice deck, too―nothing crazy, but, as she shook the cards free of their case, Lillie caught a glimpse of shiny gold foil decorating the backs of each card.

The confusion must’ve shown on her face, and it must’ve looked especially foolish, because Selene took one look at her and had to shove her face into the crook of her elbow to frantically stifle a laugh. “Hold on just a minute,” she giggled after taking a moment to collect herself. “It’ll all make sense soon.”

With that, she began shuffling the cards, finally taking her focus off of Lillie; excellent timing, because Lillie could tell that her entire face was burning a bright, conspicuous red. …For some reason. Honestly, nothing really humiliating had happened, but being around Selene seemed to make her more self-conscious than usual. Of course, Selene also made her feel brave and warm and confident (‘And safe,’ her mind whispered), but it was hard to be bold when she was so afraid of making a fool of herself in front of Selene specifically.

Crushes were… hard. For not the first time, nor the last time, Lillie thanked the Tapus that she hadn’t had to deal with crushes until very recently (‘Until Selene,’ her mind whispered). Her mother had mostly kept her isolated from other children, save Gladion, and it may have left her with crippling social anxiety, but at least it protected her from developing schoolgirl crushes for a few years. That was one thing to be grateful to her mother for, she supposed.

‘You left her, you ran away and took Nebby, you selfish child, you ungrateful whelp, you don’t deserve a mother, you don’t deserve anything―’

Lillie hastily shook those thoughts away. The Professors didn’t―they said she was a fine girl. They didn’t hate her, and they spent more time with her than her mother ever did. They were the ones who knew her―really knew her―and they didn’t hate her. They liked her, even. She did what she had to do, getting Nebby away from that―that awful, awful place. Gladion did the same thing, saving Null from a life of experimentation and isolation.

‘I am not a bad person. I just did what I had to do. I am not a bad person. I just did what I had to do.’

Selene finished shuffling the cards and looked up, a huge smile spreading across her face. In an instant, the negative thoughts emptied from Lillie’s head, replaced with much more welcome thoughts of how utterly cute Selene looked when she grinned like that, and how Lillie would do just about anything to keep that look on her face permanently, and how nice it would be to kiss―

WAIT NO―

Lillie quickly ducked her head, hiding her burning face behind her hands as best she could. Selene’s presence didn’t usually completely purge the intrusive thoughts from her head, but, then again, she didn’t usually feel such a strong urge to kiss her, either. Maybe it was a fair trade. Although Lillie would honestly rather stick with the bad thoughts; those, at least, she knew how to deal with―

“Alright,” Selene declared, and Lillie shook her head sharply, banishing the many, many unwelcome thoughts of different sorts currently rocketing around in her head. When she looked back up, Selene was holding out the cards, face-down and fanned wide in her hands. “Pick a card. Any card.”

Lillie caught on rather slowly. “Wait…” Trailing off, she looked down at the cards, the gears in her head turning sluggishly. “You―is this a magic trick?”

Selene’s face fell for a split second, and Lillie had never felt more like human waste in her entire life. “I―not that there’s anything wrong with that!” she hastily amended, waving her hands about frantically in some out-of-control gesture that was once meant to be placating. “I like magic tricks! Well―I mean, I’ve never really… seen one? B-but… from what I know of them… I think I’d like them? A-and, either way, I wanna see it, so―”

She was cut off by a loud, shameless snort of laughter that just about made her heart skip a beat, or maybe melt in her chest. “Lillie,” Selene giggled after a moment, “it’s alright. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” Stepping forward―or maybe just leaning forward; they were already pretty close, so stepping forward would probably be a bit superfluous―she added, “I like to think that I can understand you well enough without you having to explain,” an easygoing, fond smile spreading across her face.

Something deep in her mind scoffed at the thought. ‘Selene, understand you? No; she likes you, which means she has no idea what you’re really like. If she did, she would never willingly spend any time with you, obviously. You’ve deceived her into thinking you’re worth caring about just like you deceived the Professors; just like you deceived your own mother, until she eventually caught on―’

“Lillie?”

Selene’s voice tore her out of her brief downward spiral with a jolt, and Lillie hastily wiped any trace of negative emotion off of her face. “Sorry, I got distracted there for a second,” she explained before Selene could say anything else, sweeping the matter under the rug as quickly as she could. “S-so―do I, like, just pick a random card?”

It was hardly the most subtle subject change she could’ve gone for, but Selene didn’t seem to mind, although she did offer a single contemplative frown before replying. “Yeah.” For a second, it seemed like she was going to leave it at that―but, with a jolt, she seemed to remember her previous dramatic act. Clearing her throat and shaking her head, she repeated in the same over-exaggerated voice, “Pick a card. Any card.”

Eagerly accepting the offer, Lillie reached forward and carefully picked a card from the middle of the deck, holding it between two fingertips like a delicate porcelain thread. Even though she’d never seen a magic trick before, she had enough sense not to show it to Selene; she just flipped it upright and scanned it for a second―the ace of spades―before turning it back around. “What now?”

Puffing her chest out importantly, Selene gestured for Lillie to put the card back where she’d found it. “Now,” she declared, “I will shuffle the deck and find your card.” With that, she ducked her head and immediately started shuffling, the cards flying easily between her deft fingers. Wow. Apparently, she was skilled with cards. Who knew?

‘Certainly not you; you’ve known her for less than a month and you’re already overcome by this ridiculous schoolgirl crush―’

No; she couldn’t start thinking like that. Not now. Not when she and Selene were hanging out, and―and having a good time. Grasping for something else to focus on―anything; anything to take her mind off the guilt; it was even worse than normal lately and it was going to eat her alive―

Lillie focused on Selene’s face. Not the most innocuous of things to focus on, but it would do; anything would be better than letting herself go crazy over something she couldn’t change now and wouldn’t want to change even if she could. She wouldn’t let the voice ruin this for her. She wouldn’t.

‘You won’t let me ruin this for you? That’s rich, coming from the girl who abandoned her own mother when she needed you most.’

Selene’s brow was furrowed in concentration; she seemed to be channeling all of her energy into her deck-shuffling, as if there was no activity in Alola more strenuous. As if it didn’t clearly come naturally to her, the cards practically dancing weightlessly between her hands. Maybe this was a new trick for her, and she has to keep her concentration so that she doesn’t mess it up? Sleight of hand probably took very sharp mental skills, after all.

Either way, it didn’t really matter, Lillie vaguely acknowledged. She didn’t really care about the reason for Selene’s determined expression; either way, it was probably the most endearing look she had ever seen on another person’s face. In this moment, with her mouth set in a firm line, lips pressed together, eyebrows knitted tight, Selene looked unstoppable. Like nothing in the world would get between her and her goal. Like she would never leave; would never abandon her loved ones.

‘Unlike you,’ her mind snarled, and Lillie winced. She really should’ve been expecting that one. ‘Unlike you, who abandoned your mother the second you got the chance―’

No no no; she isn’t going to let this ruin this moment.

‘You abandoned your own mother. You abandoned her to pursue your own selfish desires; you took Nebby and ran like the coward you are. You don’t deserve Nebby, you know. You don’t deserve anything. You don’t deserve the Professors, you don’t deserve friends, you don’t deserve happiness, and you definitely don’t deserve her―’

By the time Selene finished shuffling and pulled a single card triumphantly from the deck, Lillie was deep enough into the rabbit hole that the sudden movement pulled a flinch from her. It had been a long time since she stopped flinching away from other people’s movements like that―but it didn’t matter, because Selene was too absorbed in the trick to notice, and she said “Is this your card?” in a very proud voice, and Lillie could not mess this up―

In the end, Lillie never got a chance to check whether or not the card was hers. For a minute, she just stared at Selene blankly, still fighting to get her thoughts back under control. Glancing down to see whether or not it’s the ace of spades suddenly seems like a monumental task; an insurmountable peak. Something is stopping her from looking away from Selene’s face for more than a split second.

When no response seemed forthcoming, Selene just smiled, a bit anxiously. “Ah, no luck, then?” she guessed. Before Lillie could respond, though―or even look down long enough to see for herself, Selene closed her eyes and took a deep breath, steeling herself.

“I guess it’s only natural that the spirits would call this card into my hands,” she blurted out after a moment, the words coming just a bit too fast. “After all, you are… the Queen of my heart.”

Lillie stared.

That was really all she could do, wasn’t it? Because she certainly couldn’t comprehend a word of what Selene just said―maybe a few centuries from now, she would be able to parse the first few words, at least―and she couldn’t seem to look away from Selene, either―Selene, who, she realized now, was holding her gaze boldly, even as her teeth worried her bottom lip.

It took her a good thirty seconds to realize that the card Selene was still holding out was not, in fact, the ace of spades, but―sure enough―the queen of hearts. A shimmering golden Nidoqueen adorned the card, and the hearts in the corners were bright red, making it easy to identify.

Lillie thought her face was probably a pretty bright red right now, too.

“S-Selene,” she stammered out, but she stopped there, because what else was there to say? For, surely, this must be a joke; some cruel prank pulled by―by Lusamine, maybe; this was something her mother might do to punish her. Surely, Selene couldn’t really be looking straight into her eyes, cheeks dusted a deep pink, and calling her “the Queen of my heart”. Surely, this couldn’t be real. Surely―

But could it?

Selene swallowed thickly. It was really only the close proximity that let Lillie hear the noise over the sound of her own racing heart. “Say something,” Selene begged after another long moment, finally dropping her gaze. Her face was going very red, now, not that Lillie could judge, and she was shifting her weight nervously, as if she actually feared being rejected; as if Lillie didn’t return her feelings; as if she really had those feelings―

‘You don’t deserve this. You’re horrible and awful and despicable. Everyone who knows you hates you, and everyone who likes you just doesn’t really know you.’

Except Selene was right there, holding out the queen of hearts like a peace offering, or perhaps a shield; Selene was smart and wouldn’t fall for any stupid facade, which meant she must know the real Lillie; and Selene liked her; even despite the fact that she knew, which meant―

‘You don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve friendship, you don’t deserve love, you don’t deserve her, you don’t deserve anything―’

“Lille,” Selene said, almost desperately. A plea. A plea for Lillie to break the silence, somehow; to either accept the card or tell her No; my card was the ace of spades; you got it wrong, except Lillie had never wanted to do anything less in her entire life.

Lillie didn’t want to say that her card had been the ace of spades. She wanted the queen of hearts instead. And maybe it made her selfish to want that; maybe it made her awful to take that; but Selene was the one putting everything on the line, here; Selene was offering the queen willingly, and―

‘You don’t deserve this, you don’t deserve this, you don’t deserve―’

Before she could second-guess herself, Lillie surged forward and planted a kiss on Selene’s cheek. Not quite her lips―not quite―but close enough.

Close enough.

(If Selene was offering so profusely, well―who was she to refuse?)

#SaphSep2017 #Pokemon SuMo #OceanFlowerShipping #MoonLilyShipping #Lillie #Trainer Selene #Trainer Moon #Trainer Lillie #Pokemon #romance #fluff #bits of angst #god this is self-indulgent #and its 4:30 AM #no time to proofread we die like men

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sorcieresque · 7 years

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naisy gossip from the past couple of days on: ai’s shapeshifting and the legitimacy thereof, the shape of daisy’s head, trans troubles, daisy being offended by her implied sluttiness, a detour to dick jokes, a detour from dick jokes to feelings jamming, a detour about ines’s annoyingness factor, lesbian island and clea

nickatnightwalker brief interjection: you doing okay with tweedle drunk and tweedle drunker over there?

sorcieresque Are you.

nickatnightwalker well, ive been completely cured of the siren charm probably forever

sorcieresque Good. He's not that cute either way. Tyler's a mess. It's embarrassing.

nickatnightwalker it's amazing how fast my interest in either of them dropped. like watching a rock plummet off the empire state building and then kill some passers by

nickatnightwalker anyway me and damian are going for a walk until their blood alcohol levels drop below .6. wanna come

sorcieresque I take a low res picture, fry it, and caption the rock in comic sans: My interest, the passers-by Tyler's chances of getting laid, the empire state building is captioned God. I'm not going to third wheel you. I’ll have you know I have better social skills than that.

nickatnightwalker this is an escape run daise take it or leave it

sorcieresque Fine. This doppelganger fiasco is getting boring either way.

nickatnightwalker shes not real good is she

sorcieresque No. Having a 3D mirror was fun for all about twenty minutes, which makes for better bragging rights than most people have ever had. She should be proud.

nickatnightwalker now do you get what i mean about your head being weird shaped

sorcieresque Fuck you. My head is perfectly round.

nickatnightwalker round ish

sorcieresque Your face is round-ish.

nickatnightwalker no it's not my jawline is the only good thing my dad ever gave me and you cant erase that fact

sorcieresque I could if I wanted to. Take back that my head is weird-shaped.

nickatnightwalker you cant change my face

sorcieresque I can and I shall.

nickatnightwalker cant and shant

sorcieresque Take it back.

nickatnightwalker you must have seen it though

sorcieresque I was too busy being mesmerized by the acute angles of my cheekbones.

nickatnightwalker huh you really missed an opportunity there then

sorcieresque Let a shapeshifter pour themselves into an unholy you-shaped mold and then you shall throw stones.

nickatnightwalker absolutely not hey do you think ai could even turn into me she doesnt really know what i look like

sorcieresque What do you mean.

nickatnightwalker i mean it's not like ive stripped and tap danced through the quad shes gonna get shit wrong

sorcieresque Right. I assumed that was left to her vague interpretation. It's not like she knows what the hot goods look like beneath my skirts.

nickatnightwalker kind of unsettling maybe everythings just barbie and ken under there when she turns into us

sorcieresque On a scale of one to very, how rude would it be to ask her to take her clothes off.

nickatnightwalker for you i think she would happily

sorcieresque I know. It's charming. My intentions are only pure and scientific.

nickatnightwalker that part she might not love

sorcieresque That sounds like a her-problem.

nickatnightwalker itll be a you problem if she says no

sorcieresque What if she knows how to mold us to a T.

nickatnightwalker how could she possibly

sorcieresque Magic? (Finger waving, etc.)

nickatnightwalker no, she has to know what somethign looks like to be it theres no way shes gotta just be vague nothing underneath

sorcieresque Then what's the big deal. Don't be a pussy.

nickatnightwalker well excuse me for being reluctant if the odds arent 100% against her finding out ive GOT one

sorcieresque What, did you forget you're not the only one in the world? She didn't seem to know about me.

nickatnightwalker theres a lot less to guess on with you daise

nickatnightwalker no offense but im pretty sure everyone heres seen you shirtless or close enough to to make a good approximately of nearly everything going on up there

nickatnightwalker and most of us have seen your ass too

sorcieresque That's an exaggeration, but you're welcome. There is not "less" going on with me, just different issues in the downstairs department.

nickatnightwalker no, not less, just less that people dont know about it's the public semi-nudity daise

sorcieresque You make it sound a lot worse than it is.

sorcieresque You'd think after all these years you wouldn't be so scandalized of my alleged indecency.

nickatnightwalker oh no im not but everyone else isnt hardened to it yet

sorcieresque Haha. Hardened.

nickatnightwalker i dont get it can you explain?

sorcieresque Penis Havers + Sight of Skin = Profit.

nickatnightwalker hm. yknow ive always managed it without the sight of skin part?

sorcieresque Ooh, Mr. Nick, ooh.

sorcieresque The mere sight of your melaninless face sends every phallus in a two mile radius from solid to mega solid.

nickatnightwalker you joke and yet

sorcieresque Deepthroating a banana is cheating.

nickatnightwalker no it is NOT besides thats just how i eat them

sorcieresque Perhaps you and Ines are much more similar than you'd like to believe.

nickatnightwalker please, as if she could eat a banana like i can

sorcieresque She can unhinge her jaw, Nick.

nickatnightwalker you got me there but that really seems like a sacrifice in terms of pressure and suction

sorcieresque I suddenly don't care about this.

nickatnightwalker some principles are universal daisy

sorcieresque I hardly see how unhinging your jaw would aid one outside of pleasing the mighty sword of Venus, oh Great Kahuna of Oral Sex.

nickatnightwalker itd kinda be win some lose some just because youd get greater range of motion but lose a lot of use of your lips

sorcieresque Not that this conversation isn't dripping mystery and pulsing with excitement, but are you okay.

nickatnightwalker what oh yeah he just asked if i like being human

nickatnightwalker like...idk man do i like that ive been consigned to a particularly fragile and ill-fitting meat suit? sure i guess, since the alternative was not existing at all shout out to my dads poor planning aaaaaaaay

sorcieresque Aaaay! Asking you that must count as a micro-aggression around here.

nickatnightwalker oh fuck if i know everything is a micro-aggression around here asking somebody their favorite food is a micro-aggression around here "hey whats your favorite color" "do you not know how PERSONAL colors are to me once a color murdered my entire family and now im forced to brood silently yet threateningly whenever i see it"

sorcieresque Does he like *not* being human? Respond in 2000-5000 words MLA format on your desk by tomorrow.

nickatnightwalker as a matter of fact thats exactly what i just told him

sorcieresque Twinsies.

nickatnightwalker i bet we could start telling people that tomorrow and theyd swallow it hook line and sinker

sorcieresque On that note, has Damian grown out of his sisterwife kink yet?

nickatnightwalker while i dont know what his personal feelings are on it knocking that joke out of the repertoire was part of the motherfucking bargain in exchange for letting him talk to me after hurricane daniel

sorcieresque You've always been good at haggling.

nickatnightwalker thank you you know i really, really debated putting an allowance in there for a while?

sorcieresque Ha! Perhaps not quite so good, then.

nickatnightwalker that was a trade off for my own self respect daisy

sorcieresque I suppose some of you /humans/ have that.

nickatnightwalker oh god dont even go there or i'll vanish your hair too

sorcieresque Someone's touchy.

nickatnightwalker shes just about as annoying as an asscrack full of sand

sorcieresque An asscrack full of sand and sticky hands from a rapidly melting Popsicle?

nickatnightwalker with sand glued onto your arms and legs with too-thick sunscreen scratching gently but persistently at your sunburn

sorcieresque And your sunglasses are smudged.

nickatnightwalker and your towel is too sandy to clean them on

sorcieresque And there's Sandflies.

nickatnightwalker when you shower youre gonna find dried seaweed down your bathing suit thats been there for hours

sorcieresque Like lovingly cradling Satan against your crotch. Anyway.

nickatnightwalker anyway shes real fuckin annoying

sorcieresque She's not so bad. I would have stopped around the sunglasses.

nickatnightwalker you havent seen her raging superiority complex up close and personal

sorcieresque I've seen her raging Mine Song complex.

nickatnightwalker that is one can of lesbian worms i am not gonna go anywhere the fuck near

nickatnightwalker im gonna just stay over here in my lane and not get in anywhere near anything the amazon warriors have claimed, up to and including the entire proteus dorm

sorcieresque What about /my/ problems, Nick.

nickatnightwalker cleas gotta come out, im not goin in

nickatnightwalker i dunno if you wanna take on the sapphic equivalent of the mongol horde that's your bad choice not mine

sorcieresque Well mark my death as "mysterious" on my Wikipedia page and call me sexy Genghis Khan, I'm ready.

nickatnightwalker is there anything really worth conquering over there anyway

sorcieresque Yes.

nickatnightwalker name names bitch!

sorcieresque What is this, a middle school sleepover?

nickatnightwalker yep

nickatnightwalker ive got the popcorn in the microwave now spill

sorcieresque You're subscribed to the Daily Daisy, I was under the impression that you would have an idea. Unless it's tagged Nick don't look, in which case you do not, because we respect each other's privacy.

nickatnightwalker of course i dont but i have YET to see a name drop

sorcieresque Are you asking me if there is a lucky military strategist I would particularly like to conquer?

nickatnightwalker yes imagine some clapping emojisfor me

sorcieresque You're very insistent.

nickatnightwalker well yeah

nickatnightwalker course i wanna hear whats up

sorcieresque Oh.

sorcieresque Well, no single tactician has caught my eye just yet, but I find some of the army members, how do you say, cute. Ines among them.

sorcieresque You love to joke about it, but I don't actually find Tyler's game plans all that exciting. Val's too annoying and Gabriela too dumb to strive beyond eye candy. I've caught glimpses of Clea, you know.

nickatnightwalker thats vague and intriguing keep going

sorcieresque That's all there is to say.

sorcieresque Sometimes they are there, and then they are back to being a walking kaleidoscope on steroids. I think they're cute.

nickatnightwalker they sent me a picture of them before yknow, before why can you see them?

sorcieresque I don't know. And oh. How very juicy of them.

nickatnightwalker dyou want it

sorcieresque Absolutely I do.

nickatnightwalker [it's an incredibly middle-school mirror selfie]

sorcieresque I see. Thank you for your candor.

nickatnightwalker youre welcome you and clea all straightened out? after what they said and everything i know they apologized but still

sorcieresque I made them clamber up the vine and hang from my window. It was very romantic.

nickatnightwalker oh thats so smooth im impressed of you i mean since you told them what to do

sorcieresque And isn't that a most excellent quality in a person.

nickatnightwalker obedience? generally speaking a better quality in a housepet than a person but cleas got other perks

sorcieresque Yes? And what would those be.

nickatnightwalker a fourth dimension australian accent

sorcieresque The compulsive chivalry grew on me.

nickatnightwalker it really is compulsive i swear they keep trying to stop

sorcieresque Interesting.

sorcieresque I could've sworn that was supposed to be their shtick.

nickatnightwalker i thought their shtick was quirky 90s friend

sorcieresque They contain multitudes. That's why they look like that.

nickatnightwalker well shit youre not wrong there i feel threatened by their only-sane-man and rational-human motifs though that's really kinda my thing

sorcieresque Your shtick is far more interesting than being a "rational" person.

nickatnightwalker thank you i do try to work that in though at least sometimes

sorcieresque Do you think it brings an eclectic factor to the jittery je ne sais quoi of your attractiveness?

nickatnightwalker absolutely i do i think it emphasizes that my jitteriness is not unfounded

sorcieresque Wow, you're even internally consistent.

nickatnightwalker oh yeah definitely what you see is what you get with me

sorcieresque Whatever happened to the mystery!

nickatnightwalker new school new me

sorcieresque Your transparency of character disgusts me.

nickatnightwalker oh man daise it disgusts me too

#nickatnightwalker #IM

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