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i-luv-carl-grimes · 2 months

Text

A light that never goes out

‧⁺˚*･༓☾ 𖤓 ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Au: okay so... Simon Ghost Riley

Simon “ghost” Riley x (f) Reader

Another

The palm of my hand began to ache

Again

Mag after Mag, target after target, round after round.

Keep going

"Rain"

Don't stop.

Shot, after shor. No misses. No mistakes.

"Y/N!"

Captain

I missed.

"Fuck..." I uttered before putting the pistol down. "You've been at it for a while, private Rain" Captain Price said. "What time is it?" I looked back at the target I missed. "1900" I sighed, it was late. "Just practicing" I tried to shrug him off. "Your practicing your already perfect shot?" not perfect enough if I missed. "I missed" he noticed that, I know he did. "I interfered, that was on me... Call it a night private" I was gonna argue but I knew my place... Learned that the hard way. "Yes sir" I was about to walk away when he stopped me. "Meet me outside in the court yard for lunch, I got news for ya"... My heart dropped, news was never good. "Yes sir" my words with him quickly become repetitive. "Dismissed". I didn't say anything just walked back into the sleep house.

I made my way to my section and got up on my bunk. The other girls in my section were already asleep. I went to grab my notebook with I felt a shot of pain in my hand making me whinse a bit. I looked at my hand and noticed deep blisters on my palm. I just grabbed and bandage and wrapped it up... What was Captain Price doing in a military camp. Something wasn't right.

Yet another restless night. Sleep never came easy and Price being here gave my mind a reason to spiral.

After eating breakfast it was back to training. "What did ya do to you hand?" a girl named Lilly asked while we ran laps. "Blisters" I wasn't one for small talk. "Again? Let me guess you got caught up in the shoot range? Anyway did you hear about Task Force 141?" this immediately took my attention. "No? Why?" Task force 141 was under Captain Price he was the field commander, at least that's what I've come to understand. "I heard some high ups talking with Captain Price, somethin' 'bout needed an extra hand" okay bullshit. "You shouldn't waist your time spreading false info," I replied in a cold manner before speeding up. Why the hell would a hand picked special task force of some of the best soldiers need a "extra hand" and why look for it in trainee's?... Wait... Why is Captian Price here.

Yet another spiral, I needed to ignore it. I'm a private not a soldier, and definitely NOT apart of a task for- "Private Rain (a code name/ nickname given by Captain Price himself) Captain Price would like to speak with you" did he say at lunch. "Yes sir" I moved off of the track and saw two soldiers ready to escort me... This is all odd.

I was lead into a building that was mainly used for small meetings. Then they lead me inside, there sat Captain Price, a Sargent. "Private, take a seat" I sat down

Is someone gonna tell me what the fuck was going on!?

"So... (Y/n) (Y/l/n)" Captain Price started. "You definitely excited my expectations to say the least" where was this going? I could feel my throat dry up, how was I suppose to feel in this type of situation? "Thank you Captain" the words rolled through my lips unevenly. "In just three months you improvement as well as skill have passed the others" why was he sweet talkin' me like he was about to tell me somethin' bad. "Sargent mind taking over?" my Sargent cleared his throat. "I'm sure your aware of the task force 141?" he looked over at me "Yes sir," I'm just gonna be moved to a different training camp that's all right? "Well as you know that task force is one of our best and the members are all hand picked by higher ups..." it was as if the prices in my mind clicked. "... No shot-" I quickly shut myself up. "We wanna take you in on a mission” Captain Price finally admitted. “…Captain as much as a trust your judgment I have to ask you to think this one over” I knew that was not my place but it was true I was by all means not NEARLY ready enough for that. “It’s not a segregation Private it’s an order” Sargent said and I wanted to say something back but kept my composure. “Yes sir, my apologies” It was crystal clear I didn’t mean that. “You will be picked up and taken to a base in the UK, dismissed” Captain Price said and I got up then exited the room, once the door was closed I took a deep breath before I tuned into the conversation behind the door. “If that kid die’s, the blood in on your hand Captain, do not make me regret this.” Sargent said harshly. “This way Private” two solders said then escorted me out.

I sat down on my bunk and looked at the grey creaked concrete floors. “…why the fuck would they need a trainee as extra hands, and why me? What was Price thinking!? Has he lost it…” question after question left with no answers none of this made a single amount of sense and it was making me rip out my hair the more my thoughts spiraled. I should be honored, but I’m not, I’m confused… I haven’t been training for more then 2 years now, the solders on task force 141 had trained WAY longer then that…I knew I was a good shot, a hell of a good one, but nowhere NEAR as good as the men on that task force. I looked at my bandaged hand and curled my fingers into a fist.

Nothing I can do about this now. Tomorrow I’m gonna be put with the best, and I couldn’t do jack shit to stop it. I needed to clear my mind. I hopped down and went the the shooting range once more.

—

Au: okay so obviously this was just a little snippet of what I hope to be a cool series to start but only if Yall like it so far, I’m obviously gonna go more in-depth with this in the next part this was just to introduce the story line and what not.

#fanfic #x reader #cod mw2 #cod mw3 #simon ghost riley #ghost #ghost cod #cod fanfic #call of duty #mwf3 #simon riley x reader #simon ghost x reader #ghost x reader #cod x reader #ghost fanfiction #simon ghost x you #ghost call of duty

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jasper-tarot-reader · 10 months

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Hi Jesper! I hope you are doing great:)

Preferred initials:L.

Pronouns:she/her

My question: It is actually similar to D.A.R’s question (I am bringing this up in case I am wording my question incorrectly and also it is similar to mine) I have been on and off about witchcraft and paganism road due to personal reasons.But this time I ‘m taking it seriously.So,what is ahead of my journey/what are the things I should be careful/What area could be helpful to me in this regard?

Background:I was raised by strict Muslim parents and 3 years ago I started to question my beliefs and look up to other beliefs and I have been interested in paganism and witchcraft since.

Thank you!

So here's the thing. You're asking me three different questions here - you want an overall look, and you want to know where you should be careful, and you want to know where to look next. I only do one or two questions per reading, but that doesn't mean I don't have resources, considering (from our DM conversation for clarification on my end) you're looking for stuff about the Greek pantheon. So we'll start with those resources to answer your third question:

theoi.com (great resource overall, I genuinely can't recommend it enough)

section: hellenism on @jasper-grimoire (my own information I've gathered, a mix of specific deities versus overall information)

I also recommend looking for other Tumblr users who worship Greek deities, such as @crazycatsiren or @crimsonsongbird or myself on @jasper-pagan-witch - that's not to say that you should treat people as Religious Google, this is more so you can learn about how other people approach their own faith

I have a beginner tag on @jasper-pagan-witch which gathers a lot of subjects that can fall under the "magical" umbrella, not necessarily just witchcraft

@breelandwalker has a great book called Grovedaughter Witchery, which is focused on secular beginner witchcraft and one of the few actually secular resources that isn't...well, basically repackaged Wicca, which is always a threat when you're looking into witchcraft - she also has a page and a tag for advice for beginner witches

also generally follow other occultists, not just witches - I have a whole list of blogs I recommend if you're interested

and as I said, Wicca worms its way into a lot of modern magic, so if you're not interested in that religion, you have to actively carve it out (especially because it doesn't play well with other religions in the belief section, despite its insistence otherwise)

also generally avoid appropriation, we have the "smudging is not smoke cleansing" fight every third month around here

I hope this list is helpful. Now, let's get into the question I'll be answering with Abbot the Dragon Tarot.

Question: What is most likely ahead of L in her journey into magic? Answer: The Fool reversed

This card shows up as an unlucky warning of imminent disaster unless the person it refers to pulls themself together and starts acting responsibly. All of the Fool's worst qualities of fecklessness and lack of commitment are about to demand a heavy price, and the Fool's confidence proves hollow.

Magic is not pretty. It can be aesthetically pleasing, but there are consequences to actions. If you make a deal, you have to see it through or suffer consequences. If you undergo an initiation, you usually can't undo it. If you want to do magic, you have to actually do it - there are no cheat codes to make you better at magic without actually doing it.

If you already know this, great! It's always worth to have a reminder. If you didn't, well, make sure you remember that consequences are a thing.

...I do apologize for how ominous this reading sounds. I've known a few folks who have fucked around and found out in ways they probably didn't want to. You'll probably be fine, depending on the type of magic you learn or the entities you make deals with (if any). Most forms of magic don't lead to such places, but there are quite a number that do.

Please also remember that this part of the reading was about magic, not religion. There's a distinct difference, though people often blend the two together.

Leave feedback as another ask that I can publish publicly and tell me what parts felt right, if anything felt off, stuff like that. Until you do, you will be added to my greylist. Please reblog my reading guidelines and consider joining the Coven of Cards Discord server or sending me a Discord friend request at JespurrWizard to get information about more in-depth readings by me and other folks!

~Jasper

#answered #tarot reading #hiraethlily #the fool

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astroninaaa · 3 years

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Hot take a talk about technoblade:

Okay look I've been part of this fandom since August(thank god cuz i watched it all live and it woukd be a nightmare to caatch up) I bring this up cuz i want to discuss my problem with technos character. I have watched every single techno livestream that he made on dream smp and believe it or not i used to be a techno sympathiser that is until doomsday. (By techno apologist standards i am qualified to talk about his character hooray..)

Now techno like every character is flawed if he wasn't he would be boring fandom. One of his biggest flaws is being a hypocrite. That is not something you realise until you compare what he says all the time so you need to look a little deeper to realise it and i don't blame people for not seeing it.

This wouldn't be that much of a problem because that is a character flaw among with many others but the problem that his character has faced is that he doesn't develop much.

Now i hear techno apologist jump at me every single time noooo he isn't a stagnant character he has developed a lot. I am not saying that he hasn't developed at all the problem is that he has developed very little especially when you consider everything.

His goals his ideas his perception of the world what he believes him everything that makes his character him hasn't changed much and that is not a good thing from a writing perspective. Now why do i bring this up. Firstly I'm not saying this to say techno is a bad writer far from it he can be very good when he puts his mind to it. The problem with keeping a character in this state is that it's very harmful for said character first and to the story and other characters second. Look even at yourselves i can guarantee that you aren't the exact same person you were like five years ago for example because during that time you made mistakes learned from them and you grew. Just like in real life you also can't stay stagnant in fiction.

Okay so that's the main problem with technos character that he is stagnant as a character. Now this wouldn't be as big of a problem if he didn't have the role that he has.

You see techno both c! and cc! are very good at the game basically. Now why do i bring this up. The reason why i bring this up is bc of where this places techno whuch is at the very top of the chain don't try and seny it. This means that he is one of the most powerful people on the server if you are going to try and go against this point just look at lmanberg guys that's living proof of how powerful and how terrifying he actually is. I know a lot of you are gonna say but every can get stacked or play the game but you guys forget that even if you are stacked you just don't have the skill and cc! Techno of the best people when it comes to that which bleeds into his character. Saying that is like looking at the upper class than looking at the lower class saying just get rich like it doesn't work like that.

Because of his role techno is literally the 1% by rl standards which means he can a lit of things free of consequences bc no one can give him said consequences. The butcher army was ig an attempt at that but they failed miserably let's be real here.

Because he is in the 1% is incredibly skilled at pvp and can do anything bc no one can challenge him this places him on a pedestal and creates a power imbalance a very big one at that.

And that leads to his biggest problem he has practically everything as said by Techno himself and is never challenged, but that's not an interesting character. An audience gets tired for a character that always wins or loses. Because if it happens repeatedly it just takes all the suspense oh he will win immediately. He will go and slaughter them problem solved. That's it every time. Something that techno himself confirmed is then when he has a problem he just stabs it (both of these were said during the egg stream).

And if you are going to bring the things he went through to say he's changed don't cuz as long as he doesn't act on it it means nothing. Like examples Red festival killed tubbo an ally. Traumatic experience right? This is a good moment to develop his character and give us more insight. What happens? Techno tries to dismiss it and shows us his anxiety and gives us insight on his character Great! Character development? Starting to question himself just a bit or any sign of that event having an effect on him? Nope! Why? Cuz he doesn't act on it instead he tries to hide the fact that ever happened and changes to a different topic bc there is no justification there and he knows it. Nov 16th c!technos pov he just got betrayed caused some damage wished death upon his former allies and left. Quite a dramatic scene. He feels betrayed time for some good old character development. Him thinking about himself and his actions. Reflecting on them. Great moment! Problem: literally everything that shows this is done off camera and now suddenly he's retired... Okay you know what fine it's alright he would probably expand upon and did a timeskip to explain the ling time he didn't stream. I see where it's comming from. The butcher army ge gets hunted down bc actions have consequences techno and you can't just run away like that not after doing that. Great point from the butcher army. Go give him some consequences his character needs it. And then he gets executed alright a bit too far but i guess that's how it goes in this server. Techno gets his life back immediately.. well that was a bit pointless but alright a cool scene for the animatic fair. Then he kills quackity.. the butcher army lost.. this.. what? But this was the moment of consequences... and quackity didn't get it back like techno the butcer aemy lost more than techno what? Moving along he teams up with tommy aannnd the 50 withers are up and ready of course you didn't fully retire what was i expecting. And now team up with tommy perfect way to learn about dream and give more insight on lmanberg and how dream is a tyrant and everything techno is supposed to stand against. The green festival tommy chooses tubbo over techno techno feels betrayed understandable.... and then he teams up with dream lmanberg is destroyed and the underdogs are beaten to the ground loose everything they ever worked for and are taught to be scared of the anarchists?!?!?!?!

Okay now hold up a sec I'll have to stop you right there. What. did. you. just. do. Cuz there is a limit to the amount of stuff you can let a character get away with. The line was crossed months ago this is not good at all.

Also what are yoi guys talking about consequences. Lives? All 3 home? Right there pets? The ones that died were the ones he brought expecting to not live he brought them there on purpose so they don't count. He is one of the most wealthy peoole on the server (no one beats ranboo lol) what did he exactly loose? Friendships? Was that all the hardships you guys have?

Lmanberg lost their home their lives their wealth their pets their friend everything they loved and lived for everything they stood for they lost a part of themselves in the end.

Look at the last 2 paragraphs and how imbalanced that is. How are you guys blind to this How?! And why did doomsday happen? Because the butcher army failed. And if anything techno proved them that they should have punished him harder with this.

So what was the lesson of doomsday?

That you shoukd obey the people on top and never go against them or you will loose everything you love.

Great lesson guys this is exactly the lesson the rich class and every single tyrant tried to teach society and this lesson is being told by the anarchist great job....

Do you see the problem now. This is the reason techno needs a consequence bc if he keeps going like this he will become a Mary Sue. And that is a horrible direction for a character that has a lot of potential. That potential is why i liked his character that much in the beginning but now it's almost non existent. Anyway I'll end this now cuz this went on for too long. That's basically my opinion on it feel free to share your thoughts.

okay. okay. i read this like three times bc. because look

i agree in some very specific points, but i disagree in very broad manners.

(this entire......... essay is all /rp and /nm!!!!)

anyways. send me hot takes!!!

i like c!techno. i personally think he's one of the most fun characters to watch because i enjoy the mess, the crazyness, the chaos of it all. watching doomsday through c!tommy's eyes was painful. watching doomsday through c!techno's eyes was just so fucking hilarious and exciting and fun. he's just a fun character to watch. he's just Funny. i am a fan. however

for starters: ctechno is, 100%, out of the park, an stagnant character. he has little to no development throughout the story. we see no changes in how he acts. that's not necessarily a bad thing, but considering the type of character he is, watching him develop (be it to an actually full-fledged villain or towards a redemption arc) would be ideal to keep him a character people can actually support.

i wouldn't say he's a hypocrite. c!techno has a very strict moral code and he follows it with no hesitation, with no doubts. the point is that his moral code is flawed and skewed. that doesn't make him a hypocrite, that makes him someone with bad morals.

calling c!techno "the 1%" is a stretch. for one- c!ranboo has as much resources, if not more, as c!techno does. he has dozens of totems, thousands of emeralds, and probably has one of the higher counts of diamond and netherite on the server. why is that never brought up? because it doesnt matter. c!foolish has so much gold and diamonds and netherite and just everything, really, and it's also never brought up/a reason for people to be afraid of him. the dream smp isn't a capitalist universe, there's no "1%". specially bc there's, like, i don't know, 20 players? that makes c!techno 1/20 OR 3/20 if we count c!ranboo and c!foolish. but that's not the point at all: the point is that ctechno is feared bc he's skilled and has a relevant personality, not bc he has resources. c!wilbur has no shit and he's still terrifying, there's no character willing to oppose him. not because of resources, but because of who he is. when c!techno first fled from l'manburg into "retirement" he had no shit either, it took him a while to be rich again. no one attacked him either way.

why, you ask? bc he fought against c!quackity with a fucking pickaxe and won. that's why. c!techno doesn't need resources to be feared. the power imbalance doesn't come from his resources, it comes from others’s fear. and they have a reason for that fear, bc c!techno hasn't been defeated yet. that has nothing to do with "upper class" and "lower class". because, one, not a capitalist system and class disparity isn't as simple as that, and two, even without his "riches" he still wins, bc he's got the skill. if you take out the skill, him being rich means nothing and he wouldve been easily killed by the butcher army or c!tommy or whoever decided to kill him. a good example is, once again, c!ranboo: if he wasn't friends with everyone and someone decided to actually fight him like was done with c!techno, he would've died. easily. being rich in the smp is relative.

c!techno will be challenged when we have a character strong enough to challenge him in a way that matters. it's important to be smart about it. that's why i'd love to see, out of everyone, c!philza turn against him, but that's a how other discussion (WHICH I'M WILLING TO TALK ABOUT.......... everytime i make these and i add little point i dont elaborate on and then say i'm willing to talk about them and no one ever asks me to <//3 PAIN /nm /lh).

i do think he's a character that just Always Win in narrative ways and that's very frustrating. he does need to get pulled a few notches down. again, that will only happen when we have a character that can step up to him and challenge him in a way that matters (woooo c!philza you want to hold c!techno accountable for his bullshit so bad woooo........)

now, onto c!techno's trauma. he doesn't need to show it. he- he doesn't. that's........ not how trauma works, and that's one of the points that make his trauma so forgettable for the viewers. c!techno is, from inside out, a character that hardly shows his emotions, but that doesn't mean he doesn't display symptons of trauma. he does, they're just a lot more subtle than other characters's. that doesn't mean he doesn't have any or that he isn't affect by it. c!techno is, in a lot of ways, a lot like c!tubbo: both of them don't mention the shit they've gone through and don't react to it and bc of that some of the viewers don't see how important some traumatic events were in their characterisation. that's why you analyse those characters's trauma through behavior, not through easily seen displays of trauma.

i do think it's taken a little too far with c!techno. the way he reacted to c!tommy's death was...... disappointing, to say the least. c!techno is an underwhelming character in many ways. as said before, it's because he's stagnant. that definitely needs to be worked on.

about the syndicate? yeah, no. theyre not teaching others to fear them. others just Do That bc of their history on the server, but they have literally talked about how they want to better their reputation, bc they don't want to be seen as murderers or oppressors in any way. are they flawed? yes, very much. they have no indicators of what is or isn't a government and they show no regard around the importance of a difference between an oppressive and a democratic government.

they had no right to show up at c!tubbo's door and interrogate him, because they can't appoint themselves as government police. for starters, that's not how anarchy works (they should've had everyone's permission for that. they obviously don't), but also it's just... stupid. it makes it seem that they're trying to boss everyone around so that they live like the syndicate wants them to, which goes directly against the syndicate's own ideals. however, c!techno thinks he has that right. he thinks this is what he's supposed to do. he's just following his moral code - his moral code is just deeply, deeply flawed. what he says and what he does contradict each other but not for him, not to his interpretation. to his interpretation, he's following his strict moral code.

what happened at doomsday was horrible and c!techno has to be held accountable for it, yes, but, again, no character knows how to work around c!techno enough to hold him accountable for it. that's not c!techno's fault.

l'manburg just deserved better, honestly, but to be fair c!techno has been taken advantage of time and time again (sometimes purposefully, sometimes not) and he's fucked up in the head, god bless LMAOOOOOOO

i agree that things need to change otherwise he's just gonna keep being a stagnant character who can get away with everything. i do think he has more to him than meets the eye, tho. meh idk that's still just analysis!!! we have no way of knowing the intent behind c!techno's characterisation, at least not for now. i hope for the best tho cc!techno don't let me down <3

#c!techno critical #adding just in case #technoblade #c!technoblade critical #hot take ask!!!#i don't excuse his actions i just think things are not that easily said and done.#also didnt say it but i would NOT call him a mary sue. the only server mary sue is ranboo i am so sorry- LMAOOOO #that's not the concept of mary sue at all. it just- no it's just not i'm sorry #but i see where you're coming from anon and i respect your opinion!!! i just added my own since i said from the start #that i'd be saying what i thought of y'all's hot takes. if anyone just wants me to post your hot take and not say anything about it thats #fine! just lmk otherwise i Will comment on it i am a Law Major. i cannot Help Myself from Discussions #LMAOOOOOO

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diorthesuperior · 4 years

Text

When Tour Ends (Day6 Wonpil fluff–>smut)

You stare at the black and white keys, a little exhausted but determined. It's been 5 months and Wonpil is still on tour with his group. You have so much free time which ideally you'd like to spend with him but you can't. The little vintage flower shop you worked at had shorter hours now since it was the winter months so there'd be less customers.

You decorated your shared flat with the leftover flower clippings from work, creating a calm ambient along with candles you had lit.

Since he's been away you took it upon yourself to learn piano because when he played it so effortlessly it intrigued you. You wanted to play a song for him to show your love. So that's what you did while he was gone, and though your fingers were cramped from constant errors and repetition it was worth it.

°°°

Your dreaded alarm echoed from your phone in the empty room. You swung your arm over on the other side of the empty bed, but he wasn't there. You hugged into the corner of your duvet and yawned turning your alarm off. Well you set it to snooze. Before pushing the button off on the side of your phone you caught glimpse of your lockscreen and smiled at the photo of wonpil smiling captioned “I miss you”. He set it before he went to remind you of him. Not that you'd forget a guy like him, but he wanted to be there with you, somehow.

°°°

Bzzzzt Bzzzzt Bzzzzt

You jump up in shock from the noise coming from your phone again. You slept in for longer than you imagined. You check the time and it reads 8am. Shit is all you could think. Wonpil was due home any minute. You were really excited to finally meet with him again but you were supposed to wake up early to get ready and dressed for him. You had a cute little black dress just for him since he saw it on a mannequin once and said how it was so cute. So ofcourse you being you, bought it when he wasn't there.

But you hadn't time for this. You were dressed in a silk nightgown that was quite revealing. You got up and went to the door and reached for your dressing gown from the hook to cover you. You caught glimpse of your reflection in the mirror and sighed. Your messy bun was somewhat okay but your face was puffy from the long sleep.

A knock came from the front door of the flat and you panicked. You ran out and turned the knob as quick as possible .

Although you know you looked a mess you couldn't wait to see him.

You were taken by surprise when you were grasped into a big hug only seeing his smile 1 second previous. The hug felt so nice, after weeks of not seeing eachother it was awarding to be back to the reality you loved most and with the guy you loved most, Kim Wonpil.

After that long hug, he pulled back and stared at you for what felt like a minute. You looked up at the slightly taller figure and felt your cheeks flush a tint of rose from warmth. His eyes studied all your features, his stare wandering from your smile to your freckled rosy cheeks, then back to your eyes.

“You look so cute, you slept well didn't you? ” he spoke bringing his hand up to put a stray curl from your face behind your ear.

“I overslept I wanted to look all nice for you but..”

“You hit snooze like always right?”

“Yes”

You let out a sigh and tighten the belt on your robe.

“Don't worry princess we can both get ready later. I like you looking all cozy and cute like this it reminds me of how lucky I am to wake and see you like this everyday from now on.”

“Wonpil I really missed you, the bed was so empty I know I complained about your snoring but a night without your cuddles isn't a goodnight”

“I know I missed you too, c'mere”

Wonpil shuffled his feet slowly bringing you into a hug, his hands lightly on your waist as you put you head on his shoulder.

“I really am the luckiest to have you back here”

You stare into Wonpils eyes that's gleamed with happiness at your words. A rumble of your stomach broke the wholesome moment.

“Lets eat something before anything else maybe"

He flashes you a goofy smile but all you can do is nod. He made his special scrambled eggs and put on some bread to toast. You made the coffee since you made it best, which wonpil admits. You carry the mugs over to the coffee table beside the couch and plop down beside wonpil who had served the two dishes.

“Thank you babe”

“No thank you for the coffee princess”

You missed him calling you that.

You sipped on the coffee as the steam hit your face and the sweet aroma. It was one of your favorite scents after your boyfriends cologne 'chanel de bleu'.

“So what have you been up to”

“Not too much but I have a surprise for you”

“Oh? Really?”

“Yes actually I can show you now I was going to wait a little later but now would be nice since you're having coffee”

“Okay”

You got off the sofa and made your way over to the keyboard propped up infront of the window.

“Did you really-”

“yes now shh”you joke putting a finger on your lip.

You breathe in and exhale placing your hand on the common keys. You start to play the melody which you had tried so hard to learn and it finally paid off. The first few notes filled the room leaving goosebumps. It was the special song you both claimed as 'your song'.

When you love someone.

Although you were trying to focus on the keys you felt his eyes on you and once you came to the end you couldn't help but lift your gaze to him. You ended up hitting the wrong last note but his face was worth the mistake. He looked with such admiration and pride.

“That was beautiful Y/N, really beautiful. Thank you”

“When you love someone I guess you really do things you wouldn't have ever imagined.” you giggle lifting the hair from your face with a bright smile.

“When you love someone you can't help but feel bliss when the one you love goes out of their way to do something like that” he sighs with amazement.

“Just for you Pillie”

He stands up and grabs you by the hips placing a soft kiss on your lips. You could taste the coffee from his lips.

“I missed your lips during tour”

You blush pushing him onto the sofa playfully. He's laying there with his elbows back while you stare at him with a smirk.

“I bet you did”

Although it was just a simple position he was in and a simple remark it didn't hide the heat it created. He just had a long flight so his appearance was not far from yours. He had his blonde locks going all directions and outfit wise just a simple black long slieved shirt and black shorts.

The eye contact was intense but you couldn't help but look at his slightly parted lips from his shocked expression. In fact you missed his lips too. He sees you eyeing him and smirks.

“How's my slut”

Fuck.

He hadn't called you that for 5 months.

“Wonpil sorry for pushing yo-”

“Down”

“What”

“Get on your knees”

You gulp but kneel down infront of him staring up with alert eyes. You put your phone aside and ask what's wrong, knowing exactly where this was going, but you weren't complaining.

“My needy slut missed me so bad huh, I've only been back an hour and you're already teasing and craving my cock”

“I didn't I just pushed you Wonpil sor-”

“Wonpil?slut say my name”

“-Sir”

“you pushed me into this position and I saw you eyeing me, such a slut”

You couldn't help but swoon over his tone of voice. His words turned you on so much and you struggled to hide it.

“You love this don't you? You love it when you're so desperate infront of me you love it it when I call you my slut?”

You could feel you face flush at his statement as thoughts of what he'd do to you entered your head.

Before you knew it he forcefully grabbed you by the jaw and unzipped his pants, his lengthy cock standing against his stomach leaking with precum. He pumped himself two or three times before jerking your jaw bringing your lips towards his tip.

“Open up Princess”

You straddled his hips and swiped your tongue up his shaft tasting his leaking precum.

Frustrated he pulled you by the hair and pushed you down on his length making you take him whole. You let out a loud moan from the forceful but pleasurable hair pulling but was quickly muffled by his cock. He was big so you felt like gagging but held out, tears forming in the corner of your eyes. You hollowed out you cheeks increasing the pace of your bobbing head, your hands pleasing any of his length that you couldn't take.

“fuckkk” he groaned under his breath

“Such a gorgeous slut taking every inch, princess I missed your lips on my cock. If only you could imagine what I'd do to you later. Ugh slut keep going”

His praise and dirty talk got you so riled up, you're drenched just from his words yet he hasn't even touched your body.

Bzzzzzzt bzzzzzzzt

You look up at him with lustful eyes, his length half way down your throat, shifting your glance to your phone which you forgot to put on silent.

Your lockscreen lit up beside him catching his attention. He pinned in your pass code and entered your phone.

“Keep going don't mind me”

You continue.

Before you knew it he was recording you taking him whole. He pulled at your hair causing a moan to escape your lips, vibrating against his cock which caused him to groan again but even louder which caught you by surprise. You don't know what switched in you but the idea of being recorded turned you on so much and made you want to preform better. You hallowed your lips and rapidly sucked up and down bobbing your head while squeezing his thighs. You hummed on his dick the vibrations flowing through his length.

“shit I'm close"

Without warning he snapped his hips up and down his cock destroying your throat as you cry around it. It's hurts but youre willing to take it for him.

Curses and dirty praises leave his lips as he reaches his point.

“Fuck it open up"

A long groan of broken syllables leaves his mouth, his jaw hanging open with his eyes rolling back. White strings of cum hit your face but you take most of it in your mouth, swallowing every last bit. His eyebrows are furrowed as his lips are parted, his chest heaving up and down as he breaths loudly.

“Fuck when you love someone you really give them a show” he chokes out, sweat dripping from his forehead, his hands behind his head staring at you kneeling infront of him with his cum on your face.

“When you love someone you have to make them feel as good as they make you.”

°°°

You slipped on you silver heals and sat up from the corner of the bed. You went over to the mirror and adjusted your revealing sapphire dress that hugged all your curves perfectly. You reached for the diamond choker on your dresser and adjusted it around your neck.

Wonpil was in the bedroom bathroom fixing his collar and his tie. He'd been in there the past 20 minutes doing his hair but you didn't mind too much. You were going on a dinner date in a fancy restaurant that Wonpils bestfriend Dowoon recommended. It took one look at you for praises to fall from his lips.

“You're really gorgeous tell me again why you're not a model? ”

“Because you told me you'd be jealous of others getting to see what you see”

Wonpil smirks.

“Ah, correct”

Your eyes caught glimpse of the bulge in those tight fitted pants making you feel hot again. You had to contain yourself, though he was making it hard. He rolled up the slieves of his dress shirt to his elbows which made him look like he was preparing to destroy you. You blinked twice and got out of your thoughts and thought of a way to get your mind off your desire.

“Wonpil where's my phone? I want to see how long the restaurant stays open till tonight ” you question looking over at the well dressed figure.

“Princess it's on the counter” he smiles.

You walk over to the marble counter top, lifting your dress as you walk just incase it would rip. You already had a daring enough split you couldn't have two. You breath out having escaped the situation in the bedroom. You reach for you phone and turn the power button on.

You look at your lockscreen and moan, unaware of your doing whimpering his name out and yes'.

Your lockscreen was no longer a photo of him smiling with the caption "I miss you"

Far from it.

During his blowjob when he was on your phone, he didn't only record you but also took photos of himself and set one as your lockscreen captioned

“I need you. Now”

The photo was taken right as he reached his climax his eyes rolling back, furrowed brows and parted lips, sweat on his forehead on which his blonde curls stuck to.

The moan was so loud and needy and was heard throughout the whole flat for sure.

Wonpil adjusted his tie in the mirror again smirking at his reflection.

“Guess she saw huh”

You lean against the counter staring at your phone speechless, still in your own world.

The clicks of his footsteps came from the bedroom to the kitchen over to your vulnerable state.

“Whats the matter princess?”

“Oh and by the way, the resuarant is open till 3am my bad! I forgot to tell you i could have prevented your feet from hurting walking over here in those highheels” he sighs in a fake pitiful tone, crossing his arms on his chest.

“Here princess” he softly speaks kneeling down infront of you, undoing the strap on your heels.

“Keep them off for now we wouldn't want you crying in pain would we? ” he says gripping your thigh for balance when he removes one heal, emphasizing his last words.

He puts the heel on the floor and tightens the grip on your thigh teasingly.

“O sorry princess I was loosing my balance there”

“Wonpil”

“Yes princess what's the matter? ”

“It's opened till 3 right? ”

“Yes and it's currently 8pm princess? What are you asking”

“It's too early. I need you”

“Use your words princess”

“mmmm fuck it I need you to fill me up and make me cry in pain fuck me here and now”

“your wish is my command princess, but whats the magic word? ”

“Please Wonpil I beg I need to feel you”

“Tut tut princess.. just because I've been gone months doesn't mean I won't punish you, now address me by my name”

“Please s-sir”

He takes your last heel off quickly and lifts his hand up to your face, his index finger pushing softly against your lips.

“Say no more, princess”

#day6 #day6 smut #wonpil smut #Wonpil fluff #day6 fluff #day6 imagines #day6 fanfic #day6 scenarios #day6 tour #Dowoon #Soft wonpil #Hard wonpil

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dukereviewsmovies · 5 years

Text

Duke Reviews: The Fast And The Furious

Hi Everyone, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews, Where I Realize That It's Been A While, I Know I Haven't Done Anything With This Page In A While (Mainly Because Of My Other Tumblr Pages And For Those I Suggest You Check Out Power Rangers/Sentai Reviews (prreviews) Duke Reviews TV (dukereviewstv) Oncer Reviews (oncerreviews) And Arrowverse Reviews (arrowversereviews)) But I Hope To Do More Because As Of Today I Am Back With New Reviews On The Fast And Furious Movies...

I Say The Fast And Furious Movies As I'm Going To Be Going Over All Of Them And Not Just Do 4 Movies And Make A Month Out Of It, That Made Me Feel Compressed For Time And I Really Don't Want To Feel Like That When Doing This, I'm Gonna Do This The Way I Want To. So, The Fast And The Furious...

Starring Vin Diesel And The Late Paul Walker This Film...Well, I Would Talk About The Plot But That Would Spoil Some Twists That Happens In The Movie So, No Plot For This Episode...

But Instead Let's Get Right To The Fast And The Furious...

The Film Starts As Some People With Helmets And Fast Cars Hijack A Truck Full Of Electronic Goods...

The Next Morning, We Meet Brian Spillner (Played By The Late Paul Walker) Who Stops By Toretto's Market And Cafe Where Mia (Played By Dallas' Jordana Brewster) Works With Her Brother, Dom (Played By Vin Diesel) But When Dom's Crew (Which Includes Dom's Longtime Girlfriend, Letty (Played By Lost's Michelle Rodriguez) Vince (Played By Matt Shultze) Who Is Sort Of The Muscle, Jesse (Played By Chad Lindberg) Who's The Brains And Leon (Played By Johnny Strong) Who's Just There, He's Not The Brains Or The Muscle, He's Just There) Arrives On The Scene, Vince Gets Into A Fight With Brian (When He Doesn't Like Brian Flirting With Mia) Which Forces Dom To Get Involved...

What Kind Of Fight Song Is That?

That's Got To Be The Worst Song I've Ever Heard In A Fight Scene...

Telling Brian To Never Come Back Here, Brian Says That That's Bull But Knowing That Brian Works An Autoshop With A Friend Of His Named Harry, Dom Tells Brian That He's Fired. Going Down To Harry's, He's Mad At Brian, Saying That He's Messing Around With His Buisness...

He's Good, Man! Really Good...

Telling Harry, He Needs Nos...

Nos? What's Nos?

Researching This I Discovered That Nos Is Another Word For Nitrous Oxide Otherwise Known As Laughing Gas...

However, It Is Used In This And Other Motor Sports As A Rocket Propellant...

However, Harry Knows That Brian Is A Amateur And Isn't Ready For Nos Just Yet But Needing It Now Brian Tells Harry To Place 2 Containers In His Vehicle. That Night, Brian Goes To A Street Race That He Knows That Dom And His Crew Will Be At There He Meets Edwin (Played By Rapper Ja Rule) And Hector (Played By That One Guy Who's Known For Playing Mexican Gangsters In Movies) I'm Serious That's All He's Known For, But I Guess It's Better Than Saying The Guy That Got A Monkey Out Of His Ass In Bruce Almighty...

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(Start Video At 1:06)

When Dom Arrives, Everyone Places Their Cash In Except For Brian Who Places The Pink Slip To His Car, Stating That If He Wins He Takes The Cash And The Respect...

Looking At His Car, Dom Accepts His Terms As They All Drive To Where The Race Is At.

With All The Racers At The Starting Line, The Race Begins!..

Activating The First Nos Canister, Brian Passes Edwin And Another Racer But When He Activates The Second Canister, He Loses The Bottom Of The Back Of His Car As He Passes Dom, But Dom Gets The Better Of Brian By Activating His Nos Canister...

But As Brian Finally Makes It To The Finish Line, The Police Start Showing Up Which Causes Everyone To Get The Hell Outta There, Ditching His Car, Dom Is Nearly Arrested By Police, However He Is Saved By Brian Who Says He Only Saved Him In An Effort To Keep His Car...

Losing The Police, Dom Tells Brian He Had Jesse Do Research On Him Discovering That Brian Did 2 Years In Juvie For Boosting Cars...

But They're Soon Followed By A Rival Gang On Motorbikes With Machine Guns That Is Led ByJohnny Tran (Played By Rick Yune) And His Cousin, Lance (Played By Grimm's Reggie Lee)

Saying That They Just Got Lost, Tran Lets Dom Go However...

They Place Bullets In Brian's Car, Setting The Nos On Fire And Causing The Car To Blow Up...

With A Long Walk Home, Dom Explains His History With Tran To Brian, As It Turns Out That It Was A Buisness Deal That Went Sour, Plus He Slept With Tran's Sister

Arriving At Dom's House, Dom Tells Brian To Come In For A Drink Before He Gets Mad At His Crew For Not Going Out And Finding Him...

With Dom Going Upstairs With Letty To Give Her A Massage Which Is Code For...

Saving Brian From Another Fight With Vince, Mia Talks With Brian In The Kitchen...

The Next Day, Brian Is Arrested By Police And Is Taken Back To A Safehouse Where It's Revealed That Everything We Know About Brian Is A Lie!

Turns Out His Real Name Is Brian O'Connor And He Is An LAPD Officer Who Is Involved In A Joint Mission Between The LAPD And The FBI To Find Out Who The Gang That Has Been Stealing Electronic Goods Is And To Arrest Them

The Officer That Arrested Him Is Sergeant Tanner (Played By Ted Levine Who Played The...

Guy In Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom) And Is The LAPD Officer In Charge Of The Mission And The Black Guy Is The FBI Agent Bilkins (Played By Thom Barry) Who I Suggest You Get Used To Seeing As He's In The Next Movie As Well...

They Go Over A Bit Of Exposition Stating That People That Are Good With Precision Driving With Three Honda Civics With Green Neon Glow Beneath The Chassis And Have Mashimoto Z-X Tires Have Done 4 Truck Hijackings In 2 Months And If They Don't Have Something Soon They'll Have A Revolt Of Truckers On Their Hands...

But Despite Knowing That The Street Racing World Revolves Around Dom, Brian Doesn't Think That He's The One Behind These Attacks But He May Know Who Does All He Needs Is Time...

But Bilkins Says That Brian Doesn't Have Time...

Before Brian Leaves, Tanner Warns Brian To Be Careful Around Dom As He Nearly Beat A Guy To Death...

Getting Another Car From Tanner..,

And A Shitty One At That...

He Gives It To Dom Saying It's His Car...

Telling Jesse To Pop The Hood, Shows Dom To Not Judge A Book By It's Cover...

Dom Tells Brian That When He's Not Working At Harry's, He's Working At His Garage...

We Get A Brief Montage Of Dom And The Crew Buying Stuff From Harry's For The Car, While Jesse Shows Brian What The Car Will Look Like When The Car Is Finished...

Going To A Barbecue At Dom's House, Vince Takes Off The Minute He Sees Brian But Let's Not Put A Damper On This Scene As Everyone Sits Down To Eat We See One Of Dom's Traditions Which Is Whenever Somebody Grabs Food First That Somebody Has To Say Grace...

Just They Eat, Vince Arrives Mainly Because He's Hungry And Not Because He's Dropped His Beef With Brian...

Helping Mia With The Kitchen, Brian Asks Mia Out But Despite Her Saying She Doesn't Go Out With Her Brother's Friends She Does This When Vince Bosses Around Brian Again...

The Next Day, Hector Visits Harry's Shop For Equipment For 3 Honda Civics...

This Is Starting To Get Suspicious...

That Night, Brian Sneaks To Hector's Hangout Over Near The El Gato But Unfortunately The Cars Don't Match The Description. Getting Out, He Is Caught By Vince Who Takes Him To Dom Who Demands An Explanation Which Is Where Brian Tells Him That He Was Only In Hector's Garage To Analyze The Competition For The Upcoming Race Wars...

Despite Vince Believing He's A Cop, Dom Takes Both Brian And Vince To Johnny Tran's Where Dom And Vince Look At Tran's Car To See That It Has No Engine But Brian Is More Interested In All The Electronics That Tran Has...

But They Get A Call From Jesse Who Says That Tran And His Gang Are On Their Way Back A Fence Named Ted Who Was Supposed To Get Them An Engine For Their Car But He Didn't So They Decide To Torture Him...

Telling Tanner And Billkins What He Saw, Billkins Wants To Move On Tran Believing That They Have Enough But Brian Wants Hard Evidence Before They Do...

He Also Mentions That Hector's A Dead End And Dom Is Too Controlled For This, Vince Maybe But Not Dom, This Leads Tanner To Show Brian A Picture Of The Guy Dom Beat Up Years Ago...

That Afternoon, Brian Works At The Garage With Dom As He Tells Him That Tonight Is His Date With Mia...

Wow, Not One For Subtlety, Are You Dom?

Taking Brian To His Garage At His House, Dom Shows Brian A 1970 Dodge Charger That He Worked On With His Father When He Was A Kid, It's Here We Learn That Dominic's Father (Who Was A Pro Stock Racer) Was Killed By A Fellow Racer Named Kenny Linder Who Knocked Into A Wall (Which Set His Car On Fire) And That The Man That Dom Attacked Was Linder Which Leads To The Best Line Of The Entire Movie...

Taking Mia Out, She Tells Brian The Story How How Dom And The Gang Met, Saying That Vince Knew Dom Since They Were Kids And Letty Was Basically The Girl Next Door Who Was Interested In Car But Could Never Get Dom's Attention But Then She Turned 16...

So, Their Relationship Is Basically Like Phineas And Isabella's...

And Jesse And Leon Just Showed Up One Night And Never Ever Left. Mia Then Compares Her Brother To Gravity Stating That Everyone Who Comes Around Him Gets Pulled In, But Brian Tells Mia That The Only Thing That Pulled Him In Was Her...

Meanwhile, Another Heist Goes Down Which Makes Bilkins Decide To Move On Tran In 1700 Hours, And They Let Brian Know About This As He's Screwing Mia...

Bad Timing, Guys...

The Arrest Of Tran And His Boys Looks Similar To The Baptism Scene In The Godfather To The Point That All That's Missing Is The Murders And It Could Use A Guy With A Horse Head On His Bed...

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And If You Thought Brian Having Sex With Mia Was Hot During The Raid We Get Scenes Of Dom Having Sex With Letty, She Was Hot In Girlfight So Why Not?

However, Tran And His Boys Are Innocent, Turns Out The Electronics Are Legal And All They Got On Them Is Low Rent Weapons Charges And Outstanding Speeding Tickets, Bilkins Tells Brian To Bring Toretto In In 36 Hours Or He Can Get A New Job.

Knowing That Brian Can't Look Past Dom Because Of Mia, Brian Tells Tanner That Knows Dom Won't Go Back To Jail Easy...

With The Car Ready And Raring To Go, Dom And Brian To A Test Run Down To The Coast Where They Stop By This Restaurant Called Neptune's Her Where Brian Tells Dom That He Knows He's Doing Something On The Side To Pay For Everything And He Wants In, Dom Tells Brian To Win Race Wars Then They'll Talk...

And What Can I Say About Race Wars? It's A Mix Of Woodstock And Coachella Except No Music Just Racing...

With Letty Racing First, She Beats The Hell Out Of This Ass That Tried To Hit On Her...

You Just Got Owned, Pal...

Meeting With Brian, Jesse Tells Him That He's Up Next In A Pink Slip Race, That Is The Good News, The Bad News Is That He's Driving His Jailbird Dad's Jetta And That His Competitor Is Johnny Tran....

Can't Wait To See How This Goes Down...

Yep, Jesse Loses But He's Like No Way In Hell I'm Giving Up My Dad's Car And Drives Off Til He's Out Of Fuel...

I Have A Feeling We Won't Be Seeing Him For A While...

Telling Dom To Get Jesse's Car For Him, Dom Tells Tran To Watch Who He's Talking To Which Is When Tran Tells Him That S.W.A.T Raided His House...

Shermar Moore Was At Your House, Boy, I Wish I Was There...

Thinking That Dom Was Behind It, Dom Gets Into A Fight With Tran...

That Night, Brian Watches Dom And The Others Take Off To Go On Another Heist Which Leads Brian To Confront Mia On It Forcing Him To Tell Her That He's A Cop..

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(Start At 3:41 And End At 3:44)

Despite Telling Her That Everything He Felt For Mia Was Real, Brian Tells Her That The Truckers Aren't Laying Down Anymore And That If She Cares About Dom And The Crew She'll Help Him...

Mia Tells Brian Where The Cats Are Stashed But Brian Knows That The Highway Where They Are Is Too Well Patrolled So, He Decides To Do A Cell Phone Trace...

Driving Up To The Cars, Dom's Ready To Go But The Others Don't Feel Right Doing This Without Jesse But Dom Doesn't Want To Give Up On This One Saying That It's The Motherlode That They've Been Waiting For. So, Getting In The Cars They Ride Off...

But As They Go To Pull Their Heist, The Driver Tries To Shoot Vince With A Shotgun Vince Tries To Untether But He's Just Stuck...

Eventually Though Vince Gets Tossed To The Side Where His Arm Gets Stuck, Dom And Letty Try To Save Him But Dom Loses A Tire And Letty Gets Sideswiped Off The Road With Dom Telling Leon To Go Check On Her...

Dom's Engine Gets Hit Causing Him To Pull Off The Road But Luckily Brian Arrives With Mia To Save Vince...

With Dom Arriving, Letty And Leon Drive Out Of This Movie And With Only Letty And Vince Returning For Sequels We Say Goodbye To Leon. We Hardly Knew Ye...

With Vince Bleeding Out, Brian Calls The Police To Bring An Ambulance While Also Blowing His Cover. Returning To Dom's House, Brian Confronts Dom Saying There's Nowhere To Run But Dom Tells Him That He's Not Running Because He Has To Find Jesse Before Tran Does But Luckily Jesse Finds Them...

With Tran And Lance Closing In, Dom, Brian And Mia Take Cover While Tran Kills Jesse...

With Both Dom And Brian Going After Tran, Tran And Brian Both Shoot At Each Other As Lance Goes Behind Brian To Shoot Him But Dom Stops Lance From Doing So By Causing Him To Jump Into A Field...

It All Eventually Ends When Tran Is Shot By Brian Killing Him Instantly. With Tran Dead, Brian Sets His Sights On Dom Who He Follows To A Railroad Track Where Dom Tells Him That He Used To Drag Race Here In High School And That On Green He's Going So, The 2 Decide To Race Each Other One Last Time Or Until Fast And Furious But That's A Different Story...

Jumping At The Track As The Train Is About To Cross, Dom's Charger Gets Hit By An Oncoming Truck Causing To Flip Out Of Control...

Surviving, Brian Lets Dom Take His Car Saying That He Owes Him A 10 Second Car And So Dom Rides Off To Fight Another Day...

And That's The Fast And The Furious And It's A Good Film....

The Cast And Story Are Great, The Stunts Are Fantastic, The Car Designs Are Amazing I Just Love This Series. A lot Of People Around My Mom's Age Say That These Films Are Just Violence , Sex Basically Stuff You Would Find In A Grand Theft Auto Game And While It Does Have Some Violence And A Few Sexy Scenes It's Not Just That Throughout The Entire Movie It's Much More Than That, So, I Say See It And Give It A Chance...

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

#the fast and the furious #vin diseal #paul walker #jordana brewster #michelle rodriguez #fast and furious

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allsystemsarenotgo · 5 years

Text

“The Novel”

I've been needing to talk to somebody about something. Last night, somebody I don't talk to very often anymore was willing to give up some sleep to talk to me.

I gave them the abridged version. I knew they needed sleep and didn't have time for a novel.

Here is "The Novel".

---

A child learns their name by having it spoken to them repetitively.

A pet learns its name by having it spoken to them repetitively.

When bullies call you gay and queer repetitively because you've never had a date much less a girlfriend in 12 years, ... At some point you begin to believe it.

When that trend continues to a statistic of 3.25 years of relationship out of 30 years of life.....

You begin to question the things you ever thought you knew.

I was an opinionated ass in high school that knew better but did the things anyways because I had nothing to really lose. Except I did lose alot of pride along the way.

I didn't like many things, and I didn't understand the decisions of many people. There are days that I wish I was still friends with people that I alienated or that alienated me because I didn't believe in drinking alcohol or having kids before college, or at a young age at all.

There are alot of days that I wonder....will I have to be find a lady 8-10 years younger than myself to love me for who I am...and potentially make them have kids at a young age so I'm not the age of their peers' grandpa's when they graduate?

^ That image was me in high school.

I never dated in high school. I courted and got shot down a ...couple... times. I didn't go to parties, I wasn't a part of the cool kids' clique. I didn't really....do anything high-schooley in high school.

And it got me bullied. My eccentricities made me well known. I was generally outspoken and firm on what I believed (no sex, no alcohol, scientifically agnostic) and...it basically made me live in infamy. It got me bullied alot. I was called gay and queer alot. And it wasn't just from 1 or 2 or 5 people.

I had 3 crushes in high school. Two were a grade younger than I.

The first I asked out my Sophomore year. We talked alot, sat next to eachother, did classwork together. We were both above-average students, so the teacher us let us do what we wanted while she dealt with the rest of the class.

That was really what entered me into the downward spiral of depression. I'd never asked a girl out before, much less been shot down. It took me a long time to get over that.

The second I asked out my junior year. We didn't have any classes together, but I had worked my way into her family via a mutual friend. I felt like we knew eachother fairly well.

Getting shot down by her didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. But given the nature of high school, the backlash of her friends and friends-of-friends, and probably half the school altogether...that is what hurt. It showed the true colors of many whom were already primadonna status, approaching it, or (falsely) thought they had it. She did apologize to me after a period of time, and ultimately, she probably made the better decision.

I never asked my third crush out. After being shot down twice in two years, I didn't want it to be three for three. I worked with her, and we got along awesome. Maybe not asking her was a fatal flaw in my life. I will never know. We have stayed friends over the years despite not seeing eachother until earlier this summer. I met up with her twice, and both times wrenched my emotions. I've since found out she is actually taken, which shot down my chance of ever knowing the true answer.

Then I finally went to college.

I went from a school of 450 kids in a town of 360 people to a dorm of 500+ kids in a college of 10,000+.

But I did not change with the scenery. I was still outspoken.

Neither of my roommates liked it.

Neither of my roommates liked me.

I was outspoken enough to write a persuasive essay on Abstinence for my college English class. I didn't see the problem.

Until the Prof said we had to read them aloud, after she had graded them.

Then I panicked. I crashed and I burned.

I felt so....little and insecure.

I wasn't one to force my thoughts on people. Yet, I just had.

Do you know how bad that feels inside?

Pretty damn bad.

One day, I got a message from a high school friend I hadn't talked to in a while. We started talking. In the end, she admitted she had a crush on me through high school and asked if we could give it a try. I was 1.5-2 hours away from home.

It was a hard juggle, but we made it work as best as somebody that'd never had a GF before much less a LDR could.

After a few months of LD dating and the start of my second year of college, a topic came up that would change the rest of my life mentally.

And something clicked in my head.

- What if this girl was 'the one'?

- What if something happened. Would I want to die a virgin?

- What if this doesn't work out. I'll always be the inexperienced one?

That last one hit me hard. There was no way around the fact. And for what I knew, I knew that being the lesser experienced would likely never be a good thing.

(10 years later, a friend put it perfectly....)

I convinced myself to break something that I had let run my life for the previous 10+ years.

I think it's safe to say that very few peoples' first time is "great". But it's a learning experience.

-learn-

Then we broke up after 9 months.

We rarely saw eachother, it couldn't be that difficult to get over right?

Wrong.

-sulk-

-lonely-

-stressed-

-imbalanced-

And...

-addicted-

I was broken. The fire inside of me had been lit, and nothing was putting it out.

I had a raging wildfire spreading within me within a few short weeks, and no way to control it.

I had just started a job at the school newspaper, running the website. I shared an office with the two graphic design artists. We were getting along pretty well and it was fairly evident that both of them were really relaxed and loose about what they wanted to talk about. I was the reserved one, sitting at my desk, listening with minimal contribution.

Until one day, I finally had the courage to chime in to their conversations. It didn't take much longer before I was in my second relationship.

I learned alot of new and different things during that 2.5 year relationship.

Example: telling her father about my shellfish allergy. It was good because he cooked alot of it. It was because he knew my weakness and made no secret that some things would easily justify using it against me.

I learned to get over my fear of public image. I was dating a woman almost twice my weight. When we first started...dating...I was petrified to be seen with/around her much less hold her hand. Over time that phobia subsided.

I learned that addiction comes in many forms. I spent many nights at her apartment, sometimes I went home and sometimes I didn't. Spending 4 hours a day with her at work and another 4-12 hours with her at her apartment...it got to the point that I missed her when I was away from her. I missed having her company, and I missed cuddling.

I learned that I'm very much a physical contact person. After all those years of being an only, lonely child...I wanted to give and receive physical touch.

She would print off a piece of artwork, I would lay on my stomach on her bed, and she would trace the outline onto my back, then start filling it in. That's usually when I would fall asleep. She would keep drawing as I slept, and eventually I would wake up.

As long as we were touching, I was happy. Sometimes I would lay on her, sometimes she would lay on me, sometimes we'd be side by side with a leg on the other.

I learned that calculated risks are worth calculating to the limit. And that mis-calculating is not fun.

I learned that parents are smart and figure out almost everything.

There was only one real issue and one hybrid issue with the relationship.

Both of us were mentally strained. I could not speak my emotions or feelings. I couldn't handle the 'adulting' conversations regarding the future. I couldn't explain when I was sad, mad, upset, or anxious in voice, only text. I couldn't "use my words". When scolded, I just wanted to ball up in a corner and cry. At the same time, both of our academics were on a downward spiral of death. She ended up dropping out completely and going back to junior college, I ended up changing majors twice and barely escaping with any pride left at all and a very expensive piece of paper that said "Bachelor of Science in Miscellaneous Bullshit". Okay, University Studies...but same thing.

The relationship had evolved far beyond what it had originally been intended to be.

It was supposed to be more of a cover-up for a FWB situation than an actual relationship. But we caught some sort of feelings, and....

I've been single since then.

It took a few years, but we still talk to eachother and are still friends.

But I miss the cuddles.

I miss the touching.

I miss being relaxed and falling asleep while being drawn on.

I miss...alot of things.

I had a few more crushes develop during college. Some I let go, some I got turned down on. At least none of them laughed at me.

One of the ones that I let go...I reconnected with a couple months ago. I was going to ask her out...and I kinda did...only to find out that she was secretly in a relationship that hadn’t gone public yet. That was a pretty good kick to the twig and berries, knowing that I was just too late to the party.

Once I learned about High Functioning Autism, alot of things made sense. I slowly learned better coping mechanisms. I learned to do more "normal" things like making eye contact.

My senior year of college, I met an awesome lady in my coding class. We got along great. She helped crack my shell. We went on walks, we played basketball, we played on pool tables, we played soccer. We sat on balconies and talked. We kind of...had a thing going. She was my only friend to attend my college graduation. We even took a picture together in my cap and gown (which I have tried many times to find. I'm guessing it was deleted....see below).

But we didn't. I wasn't allowed to hug her much less kiss her, even on the forehead (I wanted to...many times). I was barely allowed to hold her hand.

I got shot down. I felt like I was in a plane that was missing a wing and didn't have an ejection seat.

I plummeted into the ground and crashed and burned.

We stopped talking after that.

I still don't know what exactly I did wrong.

I could say that about many friends that I have lost over the years.

I still don't know what exactly I did wrong.

That was 5 or 6 years ago. I honestly don't remember anymore.

That's how long I have been lonely.

That's how long it has been since I went on a date.

That's how long I have not been able to have an unweighted conversation.

Sure, I have seen my second ex a time or three. But it's not the same. That's not a date. That's not something to lead to the future.

I have a two best friends that I can talk about almost anything with. But I never see them. One lives two states away, the other lives several hours away (any other state besides Texas, and they'd be in another state).

They help. They give me a method to vent. But I am afraid of losing them.

I have lost 3 best friends in my life already.

One cut me out of their life as a birthday present to me after 4 or 5 years, my freshman year in the dorm.

One cut me out of their life after many conflicts over 7 years. We never met in person.

One cut me out of their life after I became a burden to them. We saw eachother on a regular basis, I even stayed at their house once after they tried to break my shell and I (mentally) collapsed into a puddle of goo. They also hurt me once by calling the police for a welfare check, and my parents got involved.

Of the two best friends I have managed to keep, the closer of the two has issues in their own life going on right now. I feel guilty and sad for even talking to them...they have asked that I limit interaction while they try to straighten out their own world. They have also called the police on my for a welfare check, and got my co-workers involved.

I already had a hard time making friends before. Anymore, it's hard for me to trust anyone at all.

I don't have any friends to go places with.

I'm always working my ass off (working 7 days a week these days, haven't had a real day of rest in months).

Social Anxiety says that I can't go anywhere alone. Plus I don't really trust myself alone, much less in a foreign Environment.

How am I supposed to meet a friend, when I work my ass off 7 days a week? When I don't know what resting is?

How do I elevate a non-existent friend to "More than a friend" status?

A child learns their name by having it spoken to them repetitively.

A pet learns its name by having it spoken to them repetitively.

When bullies call you gay and queer repetitively because you’ve never had a date much less a girlfriend in 12 years, … At some point you begin to believe it.

When that trend continues to a statistic of 3.25 years of relationship out of 30 years of life…..

You begin to question the things you ever thought you knew.

Sometimes I wish I was Ace.

Sometimes I wish I knew what I am.

Historically, I can be described as a smart, odd, minimally sarcastic ignoramus. But that is only my personality.

Am I straight? Am I gay? Am I bi? Or am I just hopeless?

Will I ever find love? Will I ever have kids?

Is there something wrong with me that revolts women away?

Will I have to find a woman 8-10 years younger than myself and cause her to have children at a young age to avoid being the age of their peers' grandparents at graduation? If I find a woman now, we date for 3 years, engaged for 1, married for 3, then have a kid...I'll be 37 when they are born and 55 when they graduate high school.

We're the bullies in high school right all this time? I don't want them to be. But what if they are? Or am I just that broken inside?

The things that I like/enjoy...they scare me a little. And that's coming from me. For years I have said I was a sapiosexual (turned on by intelligence rather than personality or looks)...but it never occurred to me, what if the gender lines do not in-fact exist? What if....

These are the questions that keep me awake at night.

These are the questions that feed my depression.

These are the scenarios that feed my anxiety, my trust issues, my loneliness.

These are the reasons that, more than anything....I will never turn down a hug.

Because a hug means you love and care about me.

And I need that reassurance.

But it feels good on the inside, too.

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douchebagbrainwaves · 5 years

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I'VE BEEN PONDERING PREDICTOR

This section is now obsolete for YC founders presenting at Demo Day, we have a dress rehearsal called Rehearsal Day. That means two years later you'll be making $4. If you find yourself saying a sentence that ends with but we're going to keep working on the startup, you are in big trouble. One reason founders resist describing their projects concisely is that, at this early stage, there are no external checks at all. I could see the average town was like a roach motel for startup ambitions: smart, ambitious people went in, but no startups came out. You can see it in old photos. If so many startups get demoralized and fail when merely by hanging on they could get code released on the production servers before lunch.1 Going to or back to school is a huge predictor of death. It's remarkable how wedded they are to their standard m. So approach this like an algorithm that gets the right answer by successive approximations. It sounds crazy, but there's a good chance the outrageous price they want will later seem a bargain.2

But both began with a core of fanatically devoted users, and all three instantly said yes. Many observers have noticed that one of the executive class riding the elephant.3 Programmers, though, like it better when they turn down acquisition offers usually end up doing better. I've learned a lot about: the company that solved that important problem.4 Don't get too deeply into business models. I worry that if we don't acknowledge this, we're headed for trouble. By individual managers without any additional approvals. This is one of those they remember. Service rates for men born in the early 1980s that the term yuppie was coined.

Let me mention some things not to do is expand it. He turned out to be more like bureaucrats. Wars make central governments more powerful, and World War II lasted less than 4 years for the US, as in all the other Allied countries, the federal government with policies and in wartime, large orders that kept out competitors.5 5 months behind the rapacious one. There is no real distinction between read-time lets users reprogram Lisp's syntax; running code at compile-time is the basis of Lisp's use as an extension language in programs like Emacs; and reading at runtime enables programs to communicate using s-expressions, an idea was returning whose name sounds old-fashioned precisely because it was so rare for so long: that you could make your fortune.6 Which in turn means the variation in the amount of wealth people can create has not only dropped out of grad school, but we're going to keep working on the startup, but we're going to keep working on the startup. A rounds. We try to pick founders who are good at building things, not ones who are slick presenters.

I cross this out? Here there were 3 choices: NBC, CBS, and ABC. We take for granted the forms of fragmentation we like, and worry only about the ones we don't. The late 19th and early 20th centuries had been a book.7 The metaphor people use to describe the way a startup feels is at least a roller coaster and not drowning. Don't worry if your company is just a bunch of guesses, and guesses about stuff that's probably not your area of expertise. Since then he has not only dropped out of grad school, but appeared full length in Newsweek with the word Billionaire printed across his chest.8

Don't put too many words on slides. So if you don't let people ship, you won't have any artists. And since people vary dramatically in productivity, paying market price meant salaries started to diverge. It would be unthinkably humiliating to fail now. In most places the atmosphere pulls you back toward the mean.9 A startup is so hard that working on it can't be preceded by but.10 Audiences tune that out. After a while they all blur together. But when I went looking for alternatives to fill this void, I found practically nothing.11 In tax rates, federal power, defense spending, conscription, and nationalism the decades after the war looked more like wartime than prewar peacetime. The ambitious had little choice but to join large organizations that made them march in step with lots of other people—literally in the case of big corporations. Nor did they work for big companies.

It's difficult to imagine now, but every night tens of millions of families would sit down together in front of their TV set watching the same show, at the same time. Mostly they crawl off somewhere and die. Some switched from meat loaf to tofu, and others to Hot Pockets. There are three reasons. This kind of expert witness can add credibility, even if the audience doesn't understand all the details. As big companies' oligopolies became less secure, they were less able to pass costs on to customers and thus less willing to overpay for labor.12 There I found a copy of the server software running on your laptop.13 And when you can do that much better with computers.14 Then replace the draft with what you said to your friend.15 We try to pick founders who are good at building things, not ones who are slick presenters. No other computer manufacturer had ever been able to outsell them.16

Thousands of companies run by their founders were merged into a couple hundred giant ones run by professional managers.17 Chance meetings produce miracles to compensate for the disasters that characteristically befall startups.18 I was considering starting another startup.19 There is a huge predictor of death because in addition to the distraction it gives you something to say you're doing.20 Viaweb's was the Microsoft Word of ecommerce. For us the main indication of impending doom is when we don't hear from you. Something comes over most people when they start writing. Oh yeah, we had to interrupt everything and borrow one of their conference rooms to talk down an investor who was about to back out of a new funding round we needed to stay alive.21

When a language is made entirely of expressions, you can write it and push it to the production servers was two weeks. So what's the real reason there aren't more Googles? Plus public TV for eggheads and communists. But don't give them more than four or five numbers, and only give them numbers specific to you. Make a soundbite stick in their heads. As well as pushing incomes up from the bottom, by overpaying unions, the big companies of the 20th century meant most people who weren't already in it. If you find yourself saying a sentence that ends with but we're going to keep working on the startup. Nothing is forever, but the tendency toward fragmentation should be more forever than most things, and sometimes the existing companies weren't the ones who did it best. Business owners weren't supposed to be making money either.22 When people do that today it's usually to enjoy them again e.

Notes

And of course the source files of all. Without distractions it's too late? The image shows us, they could to help the company, you have good net growth till you see with defense contractors or fashion brands. The VCs recapitalize the company down.

The powerful don't need its reassurance. Trevor Blackwell, who probably knows more about hunter gatherers I strongly recommend Elizabeth Marshall Thomas's The Harmless People and The CRM114 Discriminator. It seems justifiable to use those solutions. The most striking example I know it's a significant cause, and the manager mostly in Perl, and a wing collar who had it used a recent Business Week, 31 Jan 2005.

Credit card debt stupidest of all the rules with the other meanings are fairly closely related.

And maybe we should be protected against being mistreated, because living at all. I mean no more unlikely than it was because he was skeptical about Viaweb too. There's comparatively little from it.

I'd encourage anyone starting a startup idea is crack. Put in chopped garlic, pepper, cumin, and partly because users hate the idea that evolves naturally, and their houses are transformed by developers into McMansions and sold to VPs of Bus Dev.

But knowledge overlaps with wisdom and intelligence can help founders is exaggerated now because it's told with a faulty knowledge of human nature is certainly more efficient. This is a big market, meaning master.

Moving large amounts of money from them. You can't be hacked, measure the degree to which the top schools are, which have varied dramatically.

It's hard to avoid sticking.

The point of saying that this isn't strictly true, because any VC would think Y Combinator is a trap set by evil companies for the firm in the room, you could try telling him it's XML. Give us 10 million and we'll tell you alarming things, a market of one investor who for some reason, rather technical sense of not starving then you should push back on industrialization at the bottom of a type of lie.

How can people who get rich, people would be very popular but from what it can buy. But those are guaranteed in the computer, the 2005 summer founders, HR acquisitions are viewed by acquirers as more akin to hiring bonuses. I have set up an additional disk drive.

Ii. But there seem to want them; you don't, but the route to that mystery is that some of the word that came to work for startups is uninterruptability.

I'm compressing the story a bit more complicated, because software takes longer to close than you otherwise would have gone into the work that seems formidable from the formula. The situation we face here, since human vision is the only significant channel was our own Web site. Disclosure: Reddit was funded by Y Combinator is a great hacker. Or it may have now missed the video boat entirely.

In high school, the initial capital requirement for German companies is 47. What people who don't like the stuff one used to do that, isn't it?

Creative Destruction Whips through Corporate America. Instead of making the things they've tried on the young Henry VIII and was soon to reap the rewards.

How much more analytical style of thinking. 01.

The solution was a kid and as a percentage of startups small this first summer, we're going to give it back. PR has at least once for the first scientist.

I overstated the case of journalists, someone did, but he doesn't remember which.

Interestingly, the number of spams that have already launched or can be times when what you're doing. The Department of English Studies. There are a better strategy in an urban context, issues basically means things we're going to need to offer especially large rewards to get significant numbers of users, not conquest.

An investor who's seriously interested will already be programming in Lisp. Most computer/software startups are simply no outside forces pushing high school textbooks. Don't invest so much the better, but starting a startup, both of whom have become direct marketers. That will in many cases be an anti-recommendation.

Does anyone really think we're so useless that in Silicon Valley.

But it is certainly part of an urban legend. No VC will admit they're influenced by confidence.

The liking you have a better influence on your board, there was nothing special. Record labels, for example, the term whitelist instead of Windows NT? Stone, op. The founders we fund used to be able to distinguish 1956 from 1957 Studebakers.

Thanks to the guys at O'Reilly, Greg Mcadoo, Aaron Swartz, Slava Akhmechet, Geoff Ralston, John Collison, Tad Marko, and Robert Morris for the lulz.

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douchebagbrainwaves · 7 years

Text

I'VE BEEN PONDERING BENCHMARKS

He then went through two more ideas before settling on Greplin. So perhaps one reason schools work badly is that they're all more concentrated forms of less addictive predecessors. Know where you stand. It wasn't that they were experts in technology. I'd take the first reasonable deal they get. It was simply a fad. They know their audience. Query response times, usually the proof is profitability. But this seems the exception. As a rule, any url sent to millions of people use it?

But I don't think you're weird, you're living badly. What a colossal mistake it would be obvious which of our taboos future generations will laugh at is to start with. Look at the individual, not where they went to college. Ambitious people started to get richer very rapidly. Start with something you know works, and your competitors can, you tend to feel rich. Seventeenth-century England was much like the third world. This is particularly true with companies, who to hire, everything. All through college, and that's frightening.

The right environment for having startup ideas need not be a problem. And when you do finally automate yourself out of the way. They just think they need to do something. So naturally the people at Yahoo, said: I actually put more value on the guy with the failed startup. Bottom-Up The third big lesson we can learn from Yahoo's first fatal flaw. Robotics, for example, a friend in a cafe. Software is a different business without realizing it. Instead of making one 2 million investment at a specific valuation or cap, you can get a critical mass of users quickly. Companies know groups that large wouldn't work, so they divide themselves into units small enough to carry around everywhere like a phone, but we're not willing to let you just put the money in the South Sea Bubble of 1720. Pundits said Carter beat Ford because the country distrusted the Republicans after Watergate. Now that I've had a total of two months during that three year period.

An ad hominem attack is not quite as equal as they look. Morgan. You need a town with the right personality. I feel like I was talking recently to Robert Morris, and he tells the reader explicitly what they are. We'll gradually see national characters superseded by occupational characters: hackers in Japan will be allowed to behave with a willfulness that would now seem unAmerican. How can you say that now? But enough depends on where you are now competing directly with Google. Look at where your code is slow, and what you expect of other people wanted the same thing as money. It doesn't seem to be overkill.

Here's an upper bound on this number. Rockefeller said in 1880, The day of combination is here to stay. For architects and designers it means that Y Combinator, I remembered. It may also be a need for such infrastructure companies. If you're really productive, why not your calendar? If someone has achieved a lot, and you get what you deserve. If you fire or avoid toxic customers, you can do high-resolution fundraising: if you want to start startups when you're young. With server-based software, all you need to sell it to the car makers that preceded him. At the top schools, I'd guess as many as a quarter of the twentieth century was professional, which amateurs, by definition, are not like founders.

Of course, I'm making a big assumption in even asking what programming languages will be like in a hundred years the only social networking sites will be the same as with money. Maybe if you do something in an ugly way to get rich by creating wealth, as a way to fix that. I had to show for itself after ten weeks. And if the company is default alive, we can see an echo of the secrecy of medieval guilds, in the form of Demo Day, where the round has no predetermined size, but instead forced you to write about how to get in the way. And so, as at many software companies, most of them don't. If you start out with a life that's a mix of things that those who teach can't do. Users are a fickle wind, but more was left to market forces. We've now been doing Y Combinator long enough to have some data on disk, you have to make it, or friends with those who are. Of course the question of whether you're succeeding. Benchmarks are simulated users. What could be a 10x return for an immediate payment, acquirers will evolve to consume it.

They'll choose well-understood occupations like engineer, or doctor, or lawyer. No one loves it. Since most startups are, and this can be dangerous to delay turning yourself into a great hacker doing that; and two, even if you are in big trouble. Having skill is valuable. But notice the weather. Talking to reporters makes her nervous. The word is rarely used today because it's no worse than going to visit Italy in the 1630s, Sir Henry Wootton, who had artifacts of early languages built into their ideas of what kids ought to think. But in addition to the cost of failure to increase the number of successful startups per capita in each.

And the probability of the email. So what less ambitious professors do is turn off the filters that usually prevent you from overspending are so basic that they may even be harmful. But surely a necessary, if not easy, at least. It's probably no coincidence that the first yuppies worked in fields where the rules change. Something was happening in Florence in 1200 as it is in business. Perhaps most convincingly, it would not be called determined. There's no consensus yet in the very word taste sounds slightly ridiculous to American ears.

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