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shining-red-diamond · 4 years

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Halloween Surprise*

Word count: 1.5k

Pairing: Taeyong x Savannah (OC)

Rating: SFW

Warnings: mentions of vomiting

A/N: Bolded words mean they’re speaking in Korean or Chinese, depending on the couple.

October 31, 2018. 7:21PM

The event was decorated extravagantly for the holiday, giving the atmosphere a spooky and exciting vibe. All of the SM artists attending were dressed as various characters and inanimate objects of pop culture. Some groups under the label were all assigned seats along with those who had significant other’s who joined them as dates.

This wasn’t the first SM Halloween party Savannah and Taeyong attended, but it was their first one as a married couple. He had dressed up as Syaoran from Cardcaptor Sakura, and she was dressed as Sailor Mars from Sailor Moon. Savannah had a friend who was a seamstress and was able to take the time to make her costume, resembling each aspect down to the last detail. She brought her costume with her to the SM building to get ready with the other girls in a separate room from the men. All day, the two had been ecstatic to have a fun evening with their friends after a relaxing honeymoon in Bali; and the moment Taeyong saw his new bride step out in her costume, he couldn’t help but smile widely and chuckle with his cheeks turning pink as cherry blossoms. Savannah even beamed at how adorable her husband looked, contrasting the handsome groom aesthetic he had sported over the last two weeks. It wasn’t that she didn’t swoon over him looking finer than a prince on their wedding day, but there were times where she swooned over his softer side. He has such a strong presence that it was easy to forget what a sweetheart he actually was.

However, Savannah had been feeling nauseated in the mornings over the past week or so. She thought she might have eaten something bad while in Bali, but she would have already been sick and over it while they were there. Fever was out of the question, because she never felt any flu symptoms despite it being cold and flu season. Her period was also five days late. Relief swept over her when she didn’t feel sick that morning, but she did come to one last conclusion that could explain her symptoms. The night before preparing for the party, Savannah went out and bought two pregnancy tests before Taeyong got home after practice that evening. She had a talent at hiding things, so she was successful in concealing the two tests from her husband.

Once he had left, Savannah took them, and both tests came back positive. She was pregnant. She was going to be a mom. There was a human forming inside her. Overwhelmed with happiness, she cried tears of joy before she had to get ready for the day.

Now, at the party, everyone else could tell Mrs. Lee Taeyong was over the moon about something, but they guessed it was because she had just married the man she loved and was happy. Little did they know, Savannah had something else life changing to tell, but she wasn’t planning to tell anyone until she told Taeyong.

Throughout the event, Savannah chatted with almost everyone there and took in the other couples’ costumes. There were a few who coupled up, some who grouped up, and a few who were independent with their costumes. Alice, Carrie, and Ivy were dressed as the Powerpuff Girls, Yuta and Nana were Snow White and the witch, Renjun and Violet were Peter Pan and Wendy, and Lucas and Sydni were Thor and Black Widow. Maggie came as a glamorous, white cat, Yoori dressed as a magical unicorn, and Megan cosplayed Ms. Frizzle. Lanying showed up as Annabelle, and her scar added the creepy effect to her costume.

“I’m surprised you didn’t dress up as Rose,” Savannah said, taking note of Alexis’s biker babe version of the Queen of Hearts. “You look amazing, but I thought you and Jaehyun had something planned this year.”

Alexis chuckled and shook her head. “Nah, he and Jungwoo wanted to do it as a joke, but he ended up putting every beauty queen out there out of business. I’m just rollin’ with it.”

“Well, you look beautiful, regardless.”

“You have got to be the prettiest Sailor Mars here,” Seulgi spoke up. She was dressed as a vampire, her dyed blonde locks bringing the look together.

“Thank you,” Savannah smiled. “I need to remember to repay my friend back for making it for me.”

“Give her my regards. She’s talented.” She leaned into her friend’s ear. “And maybe have her make costumes for my groups’ next comeback.”

The two giggled.

“Well, maybe I ca-“It hit her. The nausea she thought had subsided for today had returned to torment her again. She felt that snacks she had devoured earlier rise back up.

“Are you okay?” Alexis asked in concern.

An awful taste coated the inside of Savannah’s mouth. She wasn’t about to vomit in the middle of the party, so she dashed out the room into the nearest women’s restroom. Flinging open the first stall door, she fell onto her knees and everything she had eaten that day was released from her mouth into the toilet bowl.

A pair of hands held her hair back. “Just let it out. I’m right here.” Seulgi.

Once Savannah had finished puking her guts out, she flushed the toilet, sat on the floor, and her friend gave her a paper towel to wipe her mouth.

“How does one get sick all of a sudden?” Seulgi asked as she knelt by her.

“I don’t have a fever,” she weakly responded after cleaning around her mouth. “And it’s not food poisoning.”

Seulgi stared blankly at her friend before the realization hit her. She gasped as her eyes grew wide. Her hand covered her mouth in shock.

“Are you-?”

Savannah nodded. “I’m pregnant.”

“Oh my gosh!” Seulgi threw her arms around Savannah in glee. “Does Taeyong know? Savannah, I’m so happy for you.”

“Not yet. I wanted him to be the first to know.”

Seulgi pulled away. “I’ll act surprised.”

“Thank you.”

“Savannah,” Taeyong’s voice sounded from the doorway.

“I’m coming, honey,” she called back. Seulgi helped her up, and Savannah tossed the paper towel in the garbage can. The two women exited the restroom, meeting a worried Taeyong at the door.

“Thank you for checking on her,” he said to Seulgi before she walked back towards the party. He faced his wife again, his hands cupping her face. “Are you okay?”

Savannah nodded.

“You had disappeared from the party, and Alexis told me where you went.”

“Nausea hit me,” she explained, Taeyong’s arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her close to him. “But I’m better now.”

“Honey, you’ve been feeling nauseated every day since we got back from our honeymoon. Are you sure you’re all right? Do I need to take you to the doctor?”

She couldn’t keep it from him any longer. She hated when Taeyong got worried. Idol life was stressful enough, and she didn’t want to add to it by hiding her pregnancy another day.

“Well, I will go see a doctor eventually,” she hinted as her hands wrapped around the back of her husband’s neck.

His left eyebrow was now raised in confusion. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

With a small giggle, she kissed his cheek and said, “Taeyong, I’m pregnant.”

The NCT leader’s expression transformed from confused into a look of shocked joy. His brown eyes widened and sparkled with happiness, and a giant smile stretched across his face.

“Savannah, are you serious?” His hands returned to her face, and she nodded. “When did you find out?”

“This morning after you left for practice. I wanted to tell you when we got home and show you the pregnancy tests I took, but Seulgi beat you to it.”

Taeyong couldn’t stop smiling as he pulled his beloved wife in for the biggest yet gentlest hug he could give her. Joy overwhelmed him so much in that moment he couldn’t stop the tears beginning to fall down his face. Savannah began to weep herself.

He broke away from their embrace and wiped her tears away with his thumbs, completely ignoring his own. “Can we do it? Raise a baby? Our baby? I mean my schedule is hectic, and you’re working for another group.”

She sighed. “I’ve been excited all day, but now that I think about it, I’m not sure of anything right now, Yongie. I’m not sure if I’m ready to be a mom. I don’t even know-”

Taeyong cut her off by pecking her lips, disregarding that she just vomited in the toilet less than five minutes ago. He then pressed his forehead against hers. “Don’t say things like that, baby. You’re going to be a great mother, because you take such good care of everyone else around you. I mean, sure, they’re not infants, but that kind of love and care can be carried over to any age.”

She was silent for a moment before whispering, “I’m still scared, though.”

“So am I, but how about we take this a day at a time?”

Savannah began to calm down and steadied her breathing, even though she hadn’t realized she was heaving out of nervousness.

“Okay,” she agreed. She pulled back enough to meet Taeyong’s eyes. “Can we go home, please? Fatigue is starting to kick in.”

“Of course,” he smiled before kissing her head.

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wokeuptired · 6 years

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night 3 of natasha’s 8 nights of chanukah | read the other nights here

whenever you see the sun

I’ve seen a thousand ghosts before, old ghosts and young ghosts and vengeful ghosts and ghosts who have no idea who they are. I’ve felt them brush past my skin and I’ve watched them leave this world behind forever, and it hurts every time. It hurts because I’m saying goodbye, and I’m going to have to say a thousand times a thousand times a thousand more goodbyes.

Everybody leaves. Everybody leaves, and I always stay.

1. The whites of my eyes

There’s nothing whiter than hospital walls. Nothing aside from the whites of a child’s eyes as they look at you for the last time. You’ll never believe it until you see it, how someone’s eyes can change when they’re afraid. The heart shows in the eyes, my grandma used to tell me, and it wasn’t until I started working at Carter Children’s that I knew it was true.

They’re not all afraid, of course. Luca stands in front of me, three-foot-two in Peter Pan jammies, and casts one last look over his shoulder at the room where his parents sit, bent over his body with tears in their eyes. He can see them through the window, but they can’t see him.

“I’m ready,” he says, looking away from them and back at me. “For my awfully big adventure.”

I nod and smile, because I can't cry for him, not when his parents need me to be strong. Not when he needs me to be strong. No, I'll cry later, when I get back to my empty flat and change into my joggers and close my eyes and see the faces of all those whom I've helped to move on.

“Good,” I tell him. “You're going to have an amazing time. The best adventure.”

The truth is, I don't know what he'll find on the other side. No one who's crossed over has ever come back to tell me. But it has to be good. I have to believe that it's good, and magical, and worthy of its reputation, because if I didn't believe that, I wouldn't be able to do this job.

“Tell my parents I love them,” Luca says, taking a step forward. He's glowing from the inside out, his edges sparkling and blurring, and I know that he's found the light. He's looking off into the distance, and try as I might to follow his gaze, all I can see is the primary colored zoo paper covering the walls.

“I will,” I say. “I'll tell them.”

He grins, bright as the sun. I feel a brush of air against my skin, and when I blink, he's gone.

This is the hardest part, or one of them, at least. The moment when somebody moves on. One second they're there, the next they're gone, and the only one who knows they were ever there in the first place is me. That's the hardest part: being alone.

I brush a tear from the corner of my eye and turn on my heel, walking pointedly down the hallway to the lift. I've just spent five minutes talking to myself at the end of a corridor, and I'm lucky that no one saw me. Although most of the other staff are used to my strange behavior by now, I still try to keep a low profile.

I pass the room where Luca’s parents sit. A nurse looks on, ready to pry them away from Luca’s body and cover him with a sheet the first chance she gets. I bite my lip: somebody should've closed the curtain to give them some privacy. Somebody should tell the nurse to stop hanging around like the grim reaper.

But that somebody’s not going to be me. I'll talk to Luca’s parents in a day or two and invite them in for a private session or to come to the support group or at least give them a stack of brochures: What to do when you lose a child and How to deal with things no parent should have to deal with. They're all done up in soft pastel colors, as if that will somehow help. (It won't. It never does.)

Liam leans over the counter at the nurse’s station and nods at me as I pass by. “Tough one?” he asks, his voice low.

“Easy as pie,” I say. It's a lie: they're all tough. Saying goodbye to a child, making a child say goodbye: that's never easy.

Liam lifts the edges of his mouth in the weird little half smile that he always gives me whenever we talk about my talent. That's what he calls it, a talent, as if I'm an opera singer or a tap dancer or somebody who can balance spoons on her nose. It's not a talent, though. It's a non-returnable gift. And it certainly wasn't on my wish list.

“I'll see you at lunch,” I say, lifting my hand in a wave before crossing the hall and stepping into the open elevator.

There's a doctor in the elevator, one of the pediatric surgeons, but he doesn't speak to me as we go up. The doctors never speak to me unless they have to, because I have a reputation. I hear voices, I see ghosts, I talk to myself, I'm just a bit of an oddball, but a sweet girl, really. The rumors vary, all a little bit true, but I don’t mind them. They all work to keep people away, and that, I've found, is the best way to keep everybody, including myself, safe.

Liam, though, he found out on accident, and he only believed me because he wanted to believe. Liam’s like that: he wants so much for the world to be more than it is, better than it is. He wants the world to be a place where kids don’t die at age 6 from irreparable holes in hearts they’ve barely gotten a chance to use.

Early one morning, long before visiting hours, Liam caught me in the cafeteria, eating a banana and talking to Pinnie, a sweet eight year old who'd been lingering around with the lunch ladies for nearly a month, giving the morning porridge an extra stir and making the pots and pans clank against each other in the breeze-free kitchen. When Liam walked in, I was trying to persuade her to move into the light so that she could see her dog, a darling golden retriever who died at the ripe old age of 15, again.

“Who’re ya talking to, Greer?” Liam had asked, pulling out the chair Pinnie was sitting in and plopping down on it himself before I had a chance to tell him not to. Pinnie appeared by my side a second later, a look of utter annoyance on her face. She crossed her thin arms over her chest and huffed.

I rolled my eyes at her and turned to Liam. I had no patience for him that morning; I hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before, due to the ghost who lives in the apartment above me. He’d been up till the wee hours of the morning making music with the plumbing. Liam was nothing close to a sight for sore eyes; the jolliest of the nurses, he had a penchant for popping up exactly where I didn't want him, and he always looked at me a bit strangely. So I told him the truth.

“A ghost,” I said dryly, curling up my banana peel.

Instead of laughing at my “joke,” though, Liam's eyes went wide. “Really?” He leaned forward and lowered his voice, though there wasn't anyone around to hear him besides Pinnie and me. “So it's true then?”

“What's true?” I remember clutching at my coffee cup as if it could save me and feeling panic surge through my veins. Before this moment, I'd told very few people about my “gift,” and I certainly wasn't ready to start blabbing about it to everyone.

“That you talk to ghosts,” Liam whispered loudly. “You see ghosts.”

“Mmhm,” I told him. He was looking at me not like I was crazy, but like I made the most sense out of anyone he’d ever met. “You're sitting on one. Right now.”

Liam sprung from his seat, eyes wide as he turned his head frantically to stare at the chair. At my elbow, Pinnie giggled. “No he's not, Greer! You're lying!”

I do a lot of lying. When I first found out that the prickling at the back of my neck that I felt at even the slightest touch of a breeze was more than just hypersensitivity to cold, I lied to myself. I told myself that it wasn’t real, that if I focused hard enough, I could make it go away. But all that brought on was migraines and toe-tingling nightmares, and trips to doctors and brain specialists and MRI machines that turned up nothing.

So I accepted it: I could see things that nobody else could see. I told the doctors my headaches were better, they chalked it up to stress, and I pretended I agreed. I do a lot of lying because it keeps people safe. It’s best if I’m the only crazy one around here.

But that morning, when Liam surprised me in the cafeteria and Pinnie giggled like she was more alive than anyone else in the world, I didn’t feel like lying anymore. Maybe I was having a bad day, or maybe I could tell somehow that Liam wasn’t going to look at me like I was a mutant, or maybe it’s just that the loneliness was finally getting to me. It doesn’t really matter why: the point is, I told Liam the truth -- I told him everything -- and now he knows.

The elevator stops on the third floor and the doors slide open with a whoosh, revealing a nurse pushing a small, fragile-looking little boy in a wheelchair. Every child that enters the hospital is fragile, and maybe that’s the toughest part. Sometimes they’re so weak they can’t lift their arms above their heads without help. And that’s not what childhood’s supposed to be like. Childhood is not supposed to restrict you to your bed as your body tears itself apart from the inside out and somebody spoon-feeds you applesauce.

It’s a small consolation to know that after they die, after they leave their weak bodies behind, they defy the limitations of physicality. It’s no easier to accept death when you know that you’re going to be able to fly once you’re dead.

The nurse wheels the little boy inside the elevator and I scoot to the side to give them more space, brushing shoulders with the pediatric surgeon. “Sorry,” I mutter, offering him a small smile. He glares back.

The nurse turns the little boy around so that he’s facing the doors and leans against the wall next to me. She looks exhausted, like she’s coming off the night shift. The little boy doesn’t seem to notice, though. He looks up at me and smiles, revealing two missing front teeth. His eyes sparkle, and I know that he knows. Lots of the kids know about me, because kids gossip, but ghosts gossip even more.

The little boy doesn’t say anything to me, but when the elevator stops at the fourth floor and the nurse begins to wheel him away, he looks over his shoulder and grins at me like we’re sharing a secret. As soon as the doors slide shut again, I'm left alone in the elevator with the pediatric surgeon, who takes a pointed step away from me.

I try to keep myself from saying anything. We’re less than twenty seconds away from the fourth floor, where my office is, and I’m perfectly capable of ignoring his rudeness for that long. But then he huffs, like he’s disgusted that he has to share the elevator with me, and I can’t help myself.

“I don’t think we’ve met,” I say, turning to him and plastering a fake smile on my face. He has long hair, kept in a bun at the back of his head, just low enough so that he can wear a surgical cap without it getting in the way. I glance at the name badge pinned to the pocket of his white coat. Harry Styles, MD. Pediatric Surgery. He’s one of the newer doctors, I realize, been here less than a year. “Dr. Styles, right?”

“Mm-hm.” He nods and doesn’t smile back. He holds out his hand, though I can tell he doesn’t want to shake mine. “And you are?”

“Greer Jacobi. Grief counselor.” It says all of that on the name badge that I wear clipped to my blazer, but I tell him anyway. I’m pretty sure he already knows who I am (the doctors love to gossip about me), but I tell him anyway. I shake his hand firmly, because he’s a man and in his eyes, I’m a little girl with a fish for a hand.

“Hmm.” He drops my hand, and I nearly expect him to wipe his on his leg. Then he turns away from me, facing the elevator doors again.

The elevator slows to a stop, and a ding alerts us that we’ve arrived on the fifth floor.

“It was nice to meet you,” I tell him as I step out. He doesn’t echo the sentiment. “I’m sure I’ll see you around.”

His eyes don’t meet mine as the doors glide shut, but I swear I see the corner of his mouth lift in disgust.

2. take care

I move through the hallway quickly, smiling at everyone I pass but not stopping to say hello. This floor is full of offices, small, cramped rooms with oversized windows decorated to mimic comfort. My own has a couch, a new, purple thing, shoved up against the back wall, and it’s nowhere near as comfortable as it looks.

I duck into the kitchenette and pour myself a cup of lukewarm coffee. I dump a pack of sugar in it and stick it in the microwave. As the timer ticks down from 15, I lean against the counter and close my eyes. It’s barely 11 in the morning, but I’m already exhausted. I had no idea when I woke up this morning that I’d be saying goodbye to Luca, but I should’ve expected it. We all knew it was going to be sometime this week, but his parents thought it wouldn’t be so soon. There wasn’t enough time. There never is.

The timer dings, beeping repeatedly until I open my eyes and grab for the handle of the microwave, pulling the door open. I filled the cup too high, and it sloshes over onto my fingers when I pick it up. I nearly spill it on the counter as I set it down and fumble for a paper towel.

“Tough morning?” says a voice from the doorway. I recognize the voice without turning around: it’s Zuzu, my boss.

“Just tired,” I tell her, keep my voice upbeat as I turn on the faucet and stick my scalded hand under the stream. “Wasn’t paying attention, I guess.”

When I first met Zuzu, I was intimidated by her. A tall, commanding woman who wears her hair natural despite the looks she gets from the snobby, antique male doctors, she reminded me of my grandmother, who, at age 7, fought her way into Madame Ophelia’s all-white ballet school. When I walked into Zuzu’s office for my first interview three years ago, I sized her up and handed her my resume with shaking hands, knowing that she was sizing me up too. I was sure she was going to throw me out on my ass. But I guess she liked what she found, because she called me back for a second interview and hired me that very day, and I’ve been here ever since.

“You taking care of yourself, Greer?” Zuzu asks, leaning in the doorway and crossing her arms. She gives me her I know you didn’t sleep last night look. If I believed in psychics, I might think that she were one.

“I always do, Zu,” I say. I shut the water off and wrap a paper towel around my hand. The burn doesn’t look too bad; the skin’s just a bit red, which means I don’t need to pop downstairs to have Liam look at it. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Can’t help myself, can I?” She crosses the room in a couple of steps and grabs a plastic lid, securing it on my steaming paper cup. “Somebody’s got to.”

Zuzu makes it sound like I’m all alone, but that’s not true. Grandma passed a few years ago, but I’ve still got parents. I still see them once or twice a month, for dinner or brunch, and they look at me with proud eyes and tell me how much they love me, but I know they don’t really understand. This power, this thing that I have, it skips the men, so my dad doesn’t have it. He and my mom, they’re proud of me, but they don’t get it, the power or the grief counseling. They don’t really know what it’s like.

But Zu, she’s closer. She doesn’t talk to ghosts, but she talks to dying children, and she holds their mothers as they cry. She doesn’t take on as many cases now that she’s head of the counseling department (“Chief Grief Counselor,” her name badge says), but she's down there on the terminal illness floor every day anyway.

“I don’t care about your degrees,” she told me at that second interview years ago. “I don’t care about your experience. What I care about is your heart. Your empathy. And I can see that you’ve got it in spades.”

She hands me my coffee cup now, a soft smile on my face. I smile back and nod my head, thanking her silently for caring about me. Empathy. Sometimes I think I’ve got too much of it. So much of it that it keeps me awake at night, so much that it makes my hands shake.

“Don’t drink too much of that stuff,” Zuzu tells me as I pass by her to leave the room. “It’s bad for the heart.”

So’s this job, I think as I nod and hold my hand up in a parting wave. Down the hall, I unlock my office door, flip on the light switch, and step inside. I didn’t have a chance to open my blinds this morning, so I set my coffee on my desk and grab for the rod, twisting until the blinds part. It’s cloudy outside today, but at least there’s a bit of natural light. My grandma told me once that whenever I see the sun reflected in a window, it’s an angel come to tell me that I’m doing right.

I grab my coffee and the stack of new file folders, courtesy of the department secretary, off my desk and sit down on the uncomfortable couch, kicking my feet up on the coffee table. After a couple of gulps of coffee (not enough sugar, but it’s too late now), I grab the first one off the stack and leaf through it.

Evelyn Styles. Leukemia. Little girl, not six years old, with just weeks left. It's so much harder to say goodbye when they're not dead yet, but that’s what I do. I work with dying children, and when they’re gone, I help their parents say goodbye.

I glance through the other files, but Evelyn’s is on top, which means she’s the priority. I’m glad that I’m not the one that has to prioritize, the one that has to go through the files and decide who’s going to die first. That job might be even harder than mine.

After I finish my coffee, I go over to my computer and sift through my emails, transferring dates and times into my appointment book and deleting what’s spam. Then I open up the hospital’s master schedule and search through it for Evelyn’s file. She’s down on the second floor, just a few rooms over from where Luca was, and she’s free after lunch, no doctor’s visits or blood tests or x-rays, so I plug my name in and fill the space.

Today’s lunch is quiet, no surprise visitors of either the ghostly or Liam variety. I eat my sandwich at my desk while an episode of “Saturday Night Live” plays on my computer, but I don’t pay attention to it. I just turn it on to drown out the voices I never stop hearing through the walls.

When I first told my grandma I was going to work as a grief counselor at a hospital, she told me I was crazy. I’d been told that before, of course, but it meant more coming from her. She thought I was insane to subject myself to the amount of death that occurs in a hospital.

“There’s no place more haunted than a hospital,” she told me from the time I was a small child. Hospitals weren’t places you went when you could see ghosts, not unless you had to.

But I had to. I knew Carter Children’s was the place where I could do the most good. Sometimes I still believe that.

I finish eating and crumple up the paper that my sandwich was wrapped in. Liam made it for me and left it in the fridge under my desk this morning, assuming that I’d forgotten my lunch at home. He was right. When I arrive back on the second floor, my clipboard and Evelyn’s file in my arms, I stop at the nurse’s station to check in with him.

The other nurses ignore me as I lean on the counter. Liam’s busy, typing rapidly into the computer, but he doesn’t hesitate in looking up at me and smiling.

“Thanks for the sandwich,” I tell him. “I’d starve if it weren’t for you.”

Liam shrugs sheepishly. “It’s no big deal.”

“Really, thank you,” I repeat. Over his shoulder, his grandmother, who’s been haunting him for the past month, shakes her head at me. She thinks Liam’s in love with me, but I know better. I know he’s in love with an idea.

“It’s the least I can do,” Liam says, fingers slowing down on the keyboard. “This place would fall apart without you.”

I roll my eyes. “Somehow I think y’all would survive.”

Liam grins and I grin back, and then I set off down the hall, his grandmother at my heels.

“When are you going to tell him about me?” she asks in a proper British accent, the kind I bet Liam had as a child. His accent’s faded a bit now that he’s been in the States for so long, and I think his grandmother hates me a bit for that, too.

“When the time is right,” I tell her in a hushed whisper. This is a crowded hallway, and I try not to talk to ghosts when there are a lot of people around. Sometimes the ghosts refuse to abide by my rules, though.

“Seems like the time is never going to be right,” she huffs. I don’t say anything in response, because she might be right. It’s much harder to help somebody say goodbye when I know them. And I know Liam well enough to know that he’d think being haunted is so cool that he wouldn’t ever want his grandmother to leave.

By the time I reach Evelyn’s room, Liam’s grandmother is gone, no doubt back down the hall, lingering over Liam’s shoulder, tsk-ing under her breath every time he misspells a word. She was a primary school teacher when she was alive.

I adjust the folder under my arm and knock on Evelyn’s door. I don’t hear an answer, but I push it open anyway. She’s sitting up in bed, a Harry Potter book open in her lap, though she doesn’t seem to be reading it.

“Hello, Evelyn,” I say when she looks at me. “I’m Greer. Do you mind if I sit with you for a bit?”

She shrugs, so I sit down in the armchair next to her bed and cross my legs. A few years ago, the hospital board put in money for armchairs for all of the rooms in the terminal patients’ ward. The doctors balked when they were delivered, scoffed as they were carried down the hall. Cloth chairs are much harder to wash, you see, than folding chairs, and they’re much more expensive to replace when they get ruined. And in hospitals, things get ruined all the time.

But we have the armchairs anyway, and I’m glad for them. They offer parents the tiniest bit of comfort in the toughest moments. I make myself comfortable and turn to Evelyn, watching her run her fingers down the edges of Harry Potter’s pages. She’s tiny, the kind of child who’s been sick all her life, and she huddles in her blankets like they’re overwhelming her. She hasn’t lost her hair (some children don’t), and long, brown ringlets not unlike my own peak out from beneath her knitted cap.

“Why are you staring at me?” she asks suddenly, and I avert my eyes quickly, moving my gaze from her face. “Do I look different from the others?”

“What others?” I ask her. Bobby, who died last week after his heart failed during surgery, is here, perched on the end of her bed. I don’t know if Evelyn can see him, so I don’t look at him. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see him rolling his eyes. Bobby has an attitude, as many of the new ghosts do, and it’s what’s preventing him from crossing over.

“The other dying kids,” Evelyn says bluntly. “I know I’m going to die. So if you’re here to talk about that, you might as well just get on with it.”

I’ve heard words like these from other children, but I don’t have a full read on this little girl yet, so I can’t tell if they’re coming from a place of antagonism or fear. Sometimes those places are the same.

“Isn’t that why you’re here?” the little girl continues. She stares at me, gaze unwavering, and I notice that she has two different colored eyes, one green, one blue. “To talk to me about it? About dying?”

I listen to the way she says the word, dying. It falls off her tongue easily, like she’s said it a thousand times. But I know that no matter how many times you say it, you’ll never really understand it. Not until it happens to you.

And that goes for me, too.

“Who told you that?” I ask her. “Did your parents tell you that?”

“No,” she says, shaking her head. She’s lost most of her hair, and she wears a knitted cap made, I bet, by someone who’s never even set foot in the children’s cancer ward. “Bobby told me.”

Bobby sits on the edge of Evelyn’s bed still, bright eyes glued to me, though I haven��t acknowledged him. But now I do. I look right at him. He shrugs, smiling at me gleefully. He’s happy to have blown my secret.

“And what else did Bobby tell you?” I ask Evelyn, ignoring Bobby again. He fancies himself a troublemaker, and if I give him attention for it, I’ll only encourage him.

“He told me that you can see him too,” Evelyn says, sounding a bit like she doesn’t believe it herself. “Even though he’s dead. Is that true?”

“What would you say if I said it were?”

She turns, eyes wide as she looks at Bobby. He makes a face at her, sticking his tongue out and waggling it. “Then I’m not crazy? He’s really a ghost? He’s not in my head?”

“Mm-hm, he’s really a ghost,” I say. “Don’t worry. It’s nothing to be scared about. Lots of kids can see ghosts.”

“Why can’t adults?” She closes Harry Potter and lets the book slide down the bed, off of her legs. “Why can’t my daddy see Bobby?”

I shrug. “‘Cause adults stop believing. Then they can’t see them anymore. They can only see real things.” I glance at Bobby when I realize what I’ve said—real things—but he doesn’t seem to have noticed. Kids tend to miss things like that when they’re preoccupied with other things. And Bobby’s definitely preoccupied with something. If he weren’t, he’d’ve moved on by now.

“How come you can see them?”

“I dunno,” I tell her. That’s the truth: I don’t know, and I probably never will. There’s something invisible in my blood, passed down to me from my grandmother and her grandmother before her, and it makes me who I am. What I am. “I’m special, I guess. Or maybe I never got old.”

“Well, I’m glad that’s not going to happen to me,” she says firmly.

“I’m not.”

I turn, surprised to hear Bobby speak. He’s avoided me in the way that new ghosts sometimes do, refusing to speak to me and gliding through walls whenever I look his way. But now he’s staring right at me.

“I didn’t want to die,” he says. His eyes are dark, and I feel goosebumps erupt on my arms. “I wanted to grow up and have kids and not die for a really, really long time. And now I’m dead, and I can’t ride my bike anymore or pet my cat anymore or hug my mom ever again!”

The window rattles in its pane, startling Evelyn. She looks at me with wide eyes. I know that look: she’s afraid.

“Stop it,” I say in the harsh voice I save for child ghosts. “You’re scaring Evelyn.”

Now Bobby’s the one with wide eyes. He moves across the room towards her, his shoulder brushing mine and making me shiver as he passes. “I’m sorry, Evie,” he pleads. “Don’t be angry at me. I’m just… I’m afraid.”

His words don’t surprise me. Even adult ghosts are afraid of death; children just have an easier time admitting it. We’re all afraid of it a little bit,of the mystery, of the loss, of the possibility that once you cross over, you’ll be completely gone. You’ll be no longer.

But of course I know that’s not true. I’m always here to see what gets left behind: your bedroom in your parents’ house, untouched since the day you moved into the hospital for the last time, with your Lego movie sheets and unfinished Lego Millennium Falcon on the desk and fourth grade math homework tucked into a folder. Even once your ghost crosses over, you never really leave. We never really let go.

“It’s okay to be afraid,” I tell Bobby. There’s a lump in my throat, one I force down. Never let the kids see you cry. My grandmother taught me that. “Bobby, do you know what bravery is?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Evelyn lean forward, eager to answer, but she holds herself back. I think of the Harry Potter book on her bed, and I almost smile. She’s definitely a Hermione.

“Yeah,” Bobby says, sniffling. “Brave is when you’re not scared of something. Like a superhero.”

“Nope.” I shake my head. “Brave is when you’re scared, but you do it anyway. You muster up all the courage inside you, and you pretend you’re not afraid.”

“If you pretend hard enough, you can make anything true,” Evelyn says.

I look at her, at her red cheeks and long dark curls and small hands. She’s pretty as a china doll, like the ones my mother has on display in a glass cabinet in her living room. If only Evelyn were as timeless as the dolls she resembles.

“Not exactly,” I say. I fear the worst: Bobby thinking, If I pretend hard enough, maybe I can be alive again. Maybe I can hug my mom again. Maybe I can live forever in the before, before I was sick, before my parents started fighting, before I died.

“I don’t think I can pretend,” Bobby says. He flickers and blurs, like his hold on this world is weakening. “But I know what would make me less afraid.”

“Okay,” I say, but I already know what’s coming.

“If my parents were here.”

I close my eyes, and when I open them again, Bobby’s gone, but his words aren’t. If seeing his parents is what’s going to help Bobby move on, then I have to make it happen.

3. i can see your broken heart before it happens

On my way out of Evelyn’s room, I run straight into Dr. Styles, who takes a step back and, I assume, only holds the door for me out of necessity. He’s not wearing scrubs under his coat; rather, he’s outfitted in jeans and an untucked shirt.

“Excuse me, sorry,” I say, smiling politely.

“Mmhmm,” is all he can muster as he steps around me and shuts himself into Evelyn’s room.

That’s when I remember the last name from Evelyn’s chart: Styles. Dr. Styles must be her father. My heart sinks into my throat.

I try not to think about his future, about a too-empty house and a crying wife who turns herself skeletal and how coming to work every day will rot him away from the inside. I’ve seen it happen to so many others, to those who think they’re too strong for feelings and tears. Dr. Styles is definitely the type, the kind of man who considers emotion to be a weakness and himself to be the rock upon which his family stands. He’s the type to keep it all inside and let it destroy him.

“How’s it going?” Liam asks as I pass the nurse’s station. He’s holding a chart in one hand and a pen in the other, and he looks as exhausted as I suddenly feel. Behind him stands his grandmother, a frown on her face.

“Tell him!” she urges, her eyes wide. “Tell him now!”

I shake my head at her, but Liam thinks it’s my response to him. His smile falls; my stomach drops. Liam is one of my only allies in this place, and I know I can’t afford to lose him. But I just don’t have it in me right now.

“I’m sure today’ll get better, Greer,” Liam says. I try to smile, to apologize, to explain, but I can’t do it. So I shrug and continue down the hall, ignoring Liam’s grandma’s voice as she calls down the hall after me.

Two floors up, I shut the door to my office behind me and sink into my desk chair. I kick off my boots and reach for the pile of folders on my desk. One of them is Bobby’s.

I flip open the folder and avert my eyes from the medical history and the release forms. Clipped to the inside of the folder is Bobby’s ID form, complete with his parents’ names and contact information. I pull the phone across the desk toward me and dial.

The answering machine picks up, just like I was afraid it would, and it’s Bobby’s voice: You’ve reached the Johnsons, Charlotte, Rich, and Bobby! We’re not here right now, so please leave a message and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can! Bye!

The first time I called a family, I wrote what I was going to say by hand, then rewrote it and rewrote it again. Now I’ve got it memorized by heart. I take a deep breath and recite it.

“Hi Charlotte, this is Greer Jacobi from the counseling department at Carter Children’s. I’m just following up on our conversation last week. Please give me a call back and let me know if there’s anything I can do for you and your husband. I’d be happy to meet with you here at the hospital, or anywhere else that you’re comfortable. Thanks so much.”

After I hang up, I sink down in my chair and close my eyes. I hope I don’t have to make a house call. Those are the toughest, because then I have to see where the children lived. I have to see the real lives they left behind, not the hospital lives. I have to see photos of them in their parents’ living rooms, their shoes discarded outside the hall closet, their artwork hung with souvenir magnets to the fridge. If I don’t see their homes, I can pretend their lives were limited to the microcosm of the hospital, and that’s a life nobody minds leaving behind.

“Greer?”

I snap my eyes open, my heart beating quickly. I hadn’t heard anyone enter my office, just as I didn’t realize I was crying. I wipe at my eyes and smile as best I can at Zuzu.

“You ought to head home,” she says, leaning against the doorframe. On more than one occasion, Zuzu has moved so silently into my room that I caught myself thinking that she’d died and come to ask for my help. Of course, it was just my mind playing tricks on me. “It’s past 6.”

“I’m waiting for a call,” I say, though the truth is I’m not sure I can leave yet. Something about today doesn’t feel finished. Zuzu narrows her eyes at me. “I won’t be here too much longer, I promise.”

She looks at me like she knows I’m lying, but nods anyway. “Have a nice weekend, hon.”

“You too, Zuzu,” I say. I hadn’t even realized it was Friday. The days of the week all blend together here. On Monday, I watched a little girl pass away from a heart defect and cross immediately into the light without so much as looking at me. Monday was an easy day compared to the rest of this week.

Sometimes I wonder if eventually I’ll burn out. If I’ll reach a point where I won’t be able to do this anymore. And then I remember my grandmother, who never gave up on a ghost. Not the sad ones or the scary ones or the stubborn ones. She stuck by them until the end, and that’s what I have to do, too.

#8nights #this is a long one guys

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daleisgreat · 5 years

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X-Men Apocalypse

We are approaching the release date for the final FOX X-Men film hitting theaters when Dark Phoenix arrives next week. Thus it seemed like a perfect time to revisit FOX’s previous ensemble X-Men film, 2016’s Apocalypse (trailer). Minus a couple exceptions, I have largely enjoyed most of the X-Men movies so far, even if I have barely an idea of what is or is no longer canon anymore and the many contradictions that have surfaced with each proceeding film. The filmmakers stated in the bonus feature interviews here they are essentially making up the rules as they go along ever since they introduced time travel. Regardless, each X-film in and of itself I have mostly enjoyed on its own merits, and that continues with Apocalypse. Apocalypse has greatly benefited with a second viewing a few years later. I recall nitpicking it in the theaters for its contradictions and other little details that did not match up with previous films and trying to come to terms with the unexpected costume and character design of Apocalypse (Oscar Isaac) himself as it compared to the Apocalypse costume I grew up with in the comics and early 90s animated series. Now that I got those initial puzzled impressions out of my system I took in Apocalypse on its own and those nitpicks were not as much of a distraction on second viewing.

Apocalypse transpires 10 years after the events of Days of Future Past in 1983. I liked how they set up the origin for Apocalypse in the prologue and establish how he is this god-like force to be reckoned with all these years later. Watching him grow in power as he recruited Angel (Ben Hardy), Storm (Alexandra Shipp), Psylocke (Olivia Munn) and Magneto (Michael Fassbender) as his ‘four horsemen’ proved him to a formidable force. There is a lot of setup Apocalypse’s first half of its near two and a half hour runtime. It did not feel that long however because with its ensemble cast there were so many individual stories to tell to bring everyone together that Apocalypse breezed by. Nearly all the main players from the previous two core X-Men films return like Professor Xavier (James McAvoy), Mystique (Jennifer Laurence) and Beast (Nicholas Hoult). Periphery players from before like Quicksilver (Evan Peters) and Havok (Lucas Till) also have bigger roles in this film. Young versions of Cyclops (Tye Sheridan), Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner), Jean Grey (Sophie Turner) and yes….even Jubilee (Lana Condor) make their debut in this past era of X-films. There are a few surprises I do not want to ruin, but rest assured there are plenty of interesting interactions among the huge cast knowing how these characters will interact in movies set after this. Fassbender and McAvoy easily have the best chemistry among the whole cast and the two steal the show with their handful of one-on-one emotional scenes.

Like the rest of the X-films, Apocalypse does not disappoint when it comes to special effects. There are countless CG showcases from the Apocalypse origin story prologue, to another Quicksilver slow-motion sizzle reel, a couple of impressive destruction sequences where Apocalypse unleashes his fury and the requisite Cerebro scene gone terribly wrong. These CG sequences go hand-in-hand with most of the action scenes, and they were smartly paced in with all the setup and build to the climatic final showdown which is highlighted with Apocalypse and Xavier engaging in a telepathic duel for the ages. How those CG scenes were produced is tackled among the boatload of extra features. X-Men Unearthed is the standout extra. It is a five-part feature running a little over an hour combined and tackles how the cast and crew is handling the convoluted canon of the X-films, shows Patrick Stewart give his blessing and witness MacAvoy shave his head, breaks down the cast and goes into the nuts and bolts on how those awesome CG sequences came to be. Definitely worth a watch! There is nearly a half hour of deleted scenes with optional introductions from director Bryan Singer that includes a lot of material that seemed tragic to get cut like a feel-good 80s mall music montage set to Safety Dance that got me nostalgic for my teenage Mallrats years, and Fassbender nailing it with a emotional family scene that Singer stated was one of his all-time heartbreaking cuts to make in filmmaking. There is a killer eight minute gag reel that I would place in the top tier of superhero film gag reels, which is good company to be among.

Finally the commentary track with Singer and writer/producer Simon Kinberg is among one of my favorite commentaries I have heard in the five and a half years since I started this site. Singer is mostly nonstop with revealing facts and inspirations for the film like going into a engrossing story on the aforementioned Fassbender deleted scene, pointing out that Jubilee is in the film in one of her few lines or else I would have completely missed her, taking potshots at Marvel and FOX in the opening credits, a touching anecdote on filming the Stan Lee cameo and being grateful to Munn and Peters for knowing their Mortal Kombat references that resulted in saving a certain moment of the film. Those are just a few of the many highlights I got from the commentary so if you have time this is one of the good ones to check out. Also worth pointing out is FOX subtitled the commentary, THANK YOU! As I alluded to earlier, I came out of X-Men: Apocalypse with a far better experience on my second viewing. I only marginally enjoyed it initially, but letting some time and perspective sink in helped immensely. I am now surprisingly stoked to see Dark Phoenix when it hits next week. I highly recommend revisiting Apocalypse for a refresher on the many little plot points I would have forgotten. I no doubt agree the canon across the nearly 20 years of FOX X-films is a head-scratcher and a half to keep track of and who knows maybe their new overlords at Disney will find a way to smoothly integrate them into the Marvel Cinematic Universe. However, I would be lying if there was not a part of me that would like to see Disney keep the X-films in their own separate canon that FOX has established, quirks and all. Time will tell.

Other Random Backlog Movie Blogs 3 12 Angry Men (1957) 12 Rounds 3: Lockdown 21 Jump Street The Accountant Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie Atari: Game Over The Avengers: Age of Ultron The Avengers: Infinity War Batman: The Killing Joke Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice Bounty Hunters Cabin in the Woods Captain America: Civil War Captain America: The First Avenger Captain America: The Winter Soldier Christmas Eve Clash of the Titans (1981) Clint Eastwood 11-pack Special The Condemned 2 Countdown Creed Deck the Halls Die Hard Dredd The Eliminators The Equalizer Dirty Work Faster Fast and Furious I-VIII Field of Dreams Fight Club The Fighter For Love of the Game Good Will Hunting Gravity Guardians of the Galaxy Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 Hercules: Reborn Hitman Indiana Jones 1-4 Ink The Interrogation Interstellar Jobs Joy Ride 1-3 Man of Steel Man on the Moon Marine 3-6 Metallica: Some Kind of Monster Mortal Kombat National Treasure National Treasure: Book of Secrets The Replacements Reservoir Dogs Rocky I-VII Running Films Part 1 Running Films Part 2 San Andreas ScoobyDoo Wrestlemania Mystery The Secret Life of Walter Mitty Shoot em Up Skyscraper Small Town Santa Steve Jobs Source Code Star Trek I-XIII Take Me Home Tonight TMNT The Tooth Fairy 1 & 2 UHF Veronica Mars Vision Quest The War Wild Wonder Woman The Wrestler (2008) X-Men: Days of Future Past

#X-men #x-men apocalypse #oscar isaac #jennifer lawrence #james mcavoy #Michael Fassbender #nicholas hoult #lucas till #alexandra shipp #ben hardy #olivia munn #evan peters #tye sheridan #sophie turner #kurt wagner #lana condor #Bryan Singer

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junker-town · 7 years

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'Bachelorette' Episode 2 recap: DeMario is caught lying, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar stops by, AND SO MANY GOOD DOGS

Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis also make an appearance on the best episode of this show we’ve had in years.

It’s Bachelorette time. If you missed it, here’s last week’s recap of episode 1.

Welcome back, Sports Bachelor Nation. It’s Monday night of Memorial Day, so if you’re sitting on your couch sunburned and very full, please know you’re not alone. Luckily, we’ve got Rachel Lindsay’s search for happily ever after to distract us from the fact that we ate our weight in grilled meats (or vegetables, if you’re into that sort of thing) and drank a few too many beers over the past few days.

Speaking of beers, let’s watch some dudes get drunk and embarrass themselves on television as they try to make Rachel fall head over heels in love with them.

RACHEL’S DOG IS BACK!

We’re at Rachel’s temporary Bachelorette pad, where she’s talking about Her Journey so far. As she says that she’s getting good at being vulnerable, we zoom in on a shot of her dog with a cast on its leg. This seems like a metaphor, but I can’t be sure.

I have a message to the producers:

HELLO PRODUCERS PLEASE TELL US MORE ABOUT RACHEL’S DOG AND EXPLAIN WHY ITS LEG IS IN A CAST THANK YOU.

GROUP DATE ANNOUNCEMENT

In the mansion, the men are wearing henleys — official shirt of the Bachelor franchise. These men all look like the guy on the front of pack of Hanes shirts that you can buy in bulk at Walmart. I can only imagine that house smells like the men’s locker room before a middle school dance, and I sincerely hope Rachel isn’t asthmatic.

Chris “My Personal Trainer Says I’m Very Strong for a Man My Age” Harrison tells the men that A) there will be two group dates and one one-on-one this week and B) that he hopes the men are present for The Right Reasons.

HUSBAND HUNTING

The group date begins and we’re in a field. Rachel is grilling some burgers and shrimp. She throws a football because The Bachelorette is sports, and her spiral is better than many of the dudes’.

The arm of an angel! #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/KhCJWCrLUD

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) May 30, 2017

In an aside to the camera, Blake — the aspiring drummer with a mushroom cut from my fourth grade class in the 90s — says that Lucas (Whaaabooooom Guy) is a garbage person who is NOT there for The Right Reasons. I can already tell that Blake’s made himself the Guy Who Hates Whaaabooooom Guy. Blake will undoubtedly spend most of his one-on-one time with Rachel trashing Lucas and then both Blake and Lucas will go home fairly soon after.

Rachel says that her friends are coming over. Her friends turn out to be Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis. It turns out that Ashton and Mila are huge Bachelor fans and called the producers to let them be on the show. I’m not sure if this is true, or if one of them has a contract with ABC and had to appear on this as part of a deal.

Ashton and Mila are funny. Mila is like, “Who here has health insurance?” Health insurance and kind eyes are really all I’m looking for in a man, so I appreciate this.

THE ULTIMATE HUSBAND OBSTACLE COURSE FOR VERY STRONG BOYS

Everyone knows the first thing a man must do when he’s trying to woo a woman is run an obstacle course that includes changing the diaper on a fake baby, running around with a vacuum, unclogging a drain that’s inexplicably clogged in the middle of a field, and buying her flowers.

The men do this. Kenny says he has an advantage because he’s super dad to his ten-year-old daughter, but Whaaabooom Guy wins thanks to what I think was an illegal stiff-arm. Mila calls him “Wazoozoo Guy.”

“I don’t think Rachel’s guy is in this group,” Ashton says, and I agree.

NIGHT DATE AT WHAT LOOKS LIKE A USED FURNITURE STORE

Rachel and her big strong boys go to an arcade bar or a used furniture warehouse (I can’t tell, which doesn’t bode well for the future of the establishment) for the evening portion of their date. Blake is on a tear, because it turns out he knows Lucas (Wazoozoo Guy) from before the show, because Lucas used to date Blake’s roommate. Lucas reads Rachel a poem and Rachel is kind, so she smiles, but the poem is terrible.

Blake is in full-on self destruction mode. He does indeed spend his one-on-one time trashing Lucas to Rachel, but it turns out there’s some back story here: Blake says he lives with Lucas’ ex-girlfriend, that Lucas is a “clown for TV exposure,” and that Lucas wears makeup so he’ll look good on TV.

(PLOT TWIST: The Hollywood Reporter did some digging and found that the two were on a previous reality show together.)

Blake leaves his time with Rachel having only spoken about Lucas. Lucas and Blake then trade dumb insults for a while until Lucas, who is slurring his speech because he’s so drunk, says Blake “is dismissed.” The producers zoom in on a creepy clown face, which feels like another metaphor.

DEAN’S SURPRISING COME-FROM-BEHIND

Dean shocks the world by making Rachel laugh a lot and stirring up what seem like romantic feelings. Rachel tells Dean she truly did like it when he said, “I’m ready to go black and I’m not going back,” but that she wanted to say it first, and he stole her line. Dean, who is 25 and slightly awkward, looks extremely relieved. His hand is on her leg.

Kenny and Rachel have a nice moment where Kenny tells her about his daughter. Kenny is earnest, sweet, and kind. I think I love Kenny.

Rachel gives Dean — whose name might as well be Blake, he totally looks like a Blake — the First Impression rose and he then makes out with her. Looks like a decent kiss. Better than Bryan’s from last episode at least. Rachel seems pleased.

QUICK ASIDE ABOUT LEE

We cut to Lee, the singer-songwriter du jour, for a moment during the group date. He’s at the mansion, talking shit about the other dudes, and you can tell the producers are setting him up to be The Real Villain (Lucas is The Clown-y Villain). These wily puppeteers producers are brilliant.

PETER’S MAGICAL DOG DATE FROM HEAVEN

Peter gets the one-on-one date. This isn’t shocking, because Rachel seemed so drawn to him last episode. He’s very handsome and knows how to drive, which is always a plus in a partner. He proves he can drive by driving Rachel in a Tesla to a private plane. Tesla must’ve paid out the ass for sponsorship this season because they’ve featured very prominently so far.

On the tarmac, Rachel throws a serious curveball when she says that this date will actually be a two-on-one, because her injured best friend is coming along. I’m like, man, is this going to be another famous person, like Kawhi Leaonard?

AND THEN IT’S HER DOG!!! It’s Rachel’s adorable, hurt, beautiful dog Cooper. The producers must’ve heard me (and the rest of America) as we clamored for more information about this adorable pooch, because here he is.

I am tearing up.

THERE ARE SOOOO MANY GOOD DOGS ON THIS DATE OH MY GOD

Rachel, Peter and Cooper get on a private plane and fly to a dog party at a dog hotel.

This date isn’t fair to the other contestants, because who wouldn’t immediately fall in love with a handsome man who took them to a dog hotel? We still don’t know how Cooper was injured, but we do know that Peter would move to Dallas for Rachel, and that the sparks, they are a flyin’. Peter dances with Cooper in a sea of other humans who are also dancing with their dogs.

Both Peter and Rachel have personalities, which is something new and different for this show. My key takeaway so far is that we all need dogs, and then we need handsome men, and then we need those man to bring all of us to dog parties at dog hotels.

TOOTH DATE

Rachel and Peter go on a delightful evening date where they talk about their matching tooth gaps (never thought I’d find a conversation on dentistry so fascinating, but here we are). Copper gets his own seat.

And then something wonderful happens: Both Rachel and Peter talk about how they went to see therapists after their last relationships fell apart. As an anxious person who believes strongly in therapy, I am highly, highly, highly in favor of getting rid of the stigma that goes along with taking care of mental health issues. Talking about it openly on national television is important, unexpected, and I’m here for it.

Appropriate fireworks for a smitten kitten! #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/eNRSt1PcIK

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) May 30, 2017

Rachel is the best lead in this history of reality TV. Peter is the clear front-runner right now.

BASKETBALL DATE

Rachel and another group of merry men go to play basketball at a school gym. I can’t help but feel like maybe ABC is playing into how many sportswriters watch this show, because there are so many sports this season. There are also good dogs, which are definitely sports.

And then Kareem Abdul-Jabbar shows up to coach basketball.

This is very much sports, too, but it’s also somewhat surprising, because Kareem wrote a nuanced and spot-on op-ed in February about how The Bachelor and Bachelorette have had an abysmal amount of diversity and a serious lack of any real conversation:

“The real crime is the lack of intellectual and appearance diversity, which leaves the contestants as interchangeable as the Mr. Potato Head parts. The lack of racial diversity has already been commented on. If you’re black on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, you’re usually kept around as a courtesy for a few weeks before being ejected. Those outside the ideal body fat percentage index need not apply. With all eyes firmly fixed on firm buttocks, the criteria for finding love becomes how high a quarter will bounce off rock-hard abs. Will we ever witness a conversation that isn’t so bland and vacuous that words seem to evaporate as soon as they are spoken?”

Maybe ABC listened? At any rate, the network has finally (however horribly and belatedly) made a black woman the Bachelorette. Perhaps Kareem decided he’d give the show a shot at redeeming itself and have some fun with Rachel in the meantime.

"I found it very interesting that he dunked on me today." - Rachel to Kareem. @TheRachLindsay @kaj33 #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/5RqqgSSg1p

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) May 30, 2017

Kareem will not give these guys a chance to redeem themselves at basketball, though, because they don’t deserve one. Lee is terrible. Kareem laughs a lot. Like, at Lee. Not with him. I love this.

EVERYTHING IS FINE

Everything is going great — the guys play a basketball game in front of a packed crowd, which includes the human version of one of those blow-up guys in front of car dealerships:

Rachel and DeMario (who by now has compared himself to Michael Jordan, Tom Brady, LeBron James and Kobe Bryant) have been seriously vibing on this date, and it’s looking like she’s going to give him the Immunity Rose, a.k.a. The Bachelorette’s version of an Epi Pen.

AND THEN NOTHING IS FINE

Uh oh. This woman named Lexi shows up and claims that DeMario is her boyfriend (actually she says, “Karma’s a bitch, isn’t it DeMario?”).

Lexi says she saw DeMario on After the Final Rose at the end of Nick’s season, when DeMario was one of the guys who showed up to meet Rachel before her season started. DeMario pretends not to know Lexi at first, which is a mistake, because Lexi has text messages between the two of them in which DeMario says, “goodnight, babe.”

Nominate this for Act Break of the Year #TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/7xHtRTNo1V

— Mark (@tole_cover) May 30, 2017

Lexi says the texts prove DeMario never ended their relationship before he went on the show, but DeMario says he ended it in person, so there wouldn’t be any texts. Rachel gives DeMario a chance to explain what happened, but he kind of fumbles through it, saying that Lexi is nuts. Lexi swears on her father’s grave and on her two kittens that DeMario is lying. She also calls him a piece of trash. DeMario is like, “I don’t have keys to your apartment!” And then he’s like “Oh, those keys. Yeah, I mailed them back.”

Both of these people are... maybe not the best.

Rachel lays down the law: “I don’t want to be played, I don’t want to be made a joke of, so I’m really going to need you to get the f[bleep] out. I don’t like being f[bleeping] embarrassed.”

"I’m really going to need you to get the f*@% out!” -Rachel#TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/dbXKvlfbQa

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) May 30, 2017

She sends DeMario home. Lexi also leaves.

RACHEL LAYS DOWN THE LAW SOME MORE

Rachel goes into the locker room and she’s like DON’T FUCK WITH ME, YOU ASSHOLES.

And by that I mean she graciously and kindly says:

“I pride myself in being real. If any of you have a girlfriend, please just tell me now, because it makes me sick that I sent people home. So with that being said, I’ll see you tonight.”

The guys are like WHAAAAAAT and pretend they can’t believe anyone would ever cheat or do anything bad. One guy, maybe Lee (or another Blake, or another Dean, I don’t know, there are too many) says, “That’s insane to me, how can you be so duplicitous?”

And I’m like, oh yeah, because I’m sure all of you are a bunch of goddamn saints.

NIGHT DATE AFTER THE DEMARIO DISASTER

Rachel tells the camera that “DeMario is a dirty, dirty dog” and that it’s making her “question the other men’s real intentions. I need to look past charm and see them for who they are and recognize their true character.”

"I need to look past the charm and see them for who they are and recognize their true character." -Rachel#TheBachelorette http://pic.twitter.com/F5tVAYpfut

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) May 30, 2017

That seems maybe not possible after two weeks of knowing someone, but if anyone can do it, I believe it’s Rachel Lindsay.

The other guys, meanwhile, are still milking the DeMario thing for all its worth. They’re all like I WOULD NEVER HURT YOU OR ANY WOMAN LIKE THAT!

Right. And my uncle’s the Easter Bunny.

Josiah swoops in and acts all protective, which could seem bad, but seems maybe good? I don’t even know anymore. But he’s wearing a great outfit, he’s quite attractive, and he’s very smooth, so I am somewhat taken with him. Rachel seems to be, too, because she gives him the Immunity Rose.

A FEW RANDOM THOUGHTS

Diggy wears Von Miller glasses. I like Diggy, I think.

We have a Diggy and an Iggy, which is confusing.

Alex sings to Rachel in Russian.

Rachel tells Eric that quality time and physical touch are the things that make her feel loved. I love how sex positive she is. Go Rachel. All women should have good sex.

We haven’t seen enough of Anthony!!!!! I want more of Anthony!!

Kisses on live mics are disgusting.

We’re only two episodes in and this entire episode is better than Nick’s whole dumb season.

DEMARIO COMES BACK?!

So Bryan, the one who kissed Rachel first, is a chiropractor. He sets up a massage table at the cocktail party and gives her a massage. Bryan creeps me out, but massages are good, and Rachel seems into him.

Rachel and Iggy are playing a thumb war (sexy!) when DeMario comes back to try to explain himself. The security guy goes to get Chris Harrison, who is probably asleep at his house in L.A.

But Chris eventually shows up, and he’s like... okay, DeMario, I’ll tell Rachel you’re here, but it’s up to her if she wants to talk to you. Chris is doing more this season than he did for all of the past three combined.

Rachel is curious. She goes to talk to DeMario.

Meanwhile, the dudes are like “Wait, is that Chris? He’s not supposed to be here!” And then they realize DeMario is back, and they charge out like an angry mob to go get rid of him.

AND THEN THE EPISODE JUST ENDS

This is the best season of this show I’ve ever seen, and Episode 2 was the best episode. We had drama up the wazoo, promising suitors, and Rachel, who’s smart, funny, and sincere in a not-corny way that makes you actually believe such things as The Right Reasons (or something close to them) exist. I hope she gets her own talk show after this so we can keep watching her conduct the people around her like a symphony. Actually, no, I hope she does whatever the hell she wants to do with the love of her life.

I hated this show after Nick, but now I can’t wait for next week. HOWEVER: if the producers keep doing this stupid cliff-hanger shit, I will call Cooper The Adorable Injured Dog and demand he pull rank to make them stop.

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doof-doofblog · 3 years

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"It's Time For Her To Pay!"

Tuesday 26th January 2021

Hello again everyone! Hope you're all doing well! Monday's episode ended on such a huge cliff-hanger, I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens next! Do you think we'll end up seeing more of Jed? Will he become more involved in this current storyline between Frankie, Katy and The Carter's?! It'll be interesting to hear his story, we know that he's also been sexually abused by Katy and it was revealed that he was little Harry's Father. I'm hoping EastEnders will explore his story also, but we shall have to wait and see!

Covering this episode, the first thing I want to mention is Gray, Karen and Whitney. Since Chantelle's death, Karen has been an absolute saint caring and looking after her Grandchildren, sharing stories about their Mother when she was their age, treating to lovely meals and days out. However, regardless of her ongoing kindness, it looks as if Gray is getting more and more irritated with her, it seems that from his point of view that she's simply interfering with his children's lives. Karen had gone out of her way to buy some food for the children and treat them to their favourite dinner. As she excitedly informs Gray about her plans for Mack and Mia, you can see that Gray isn't best pleased about his Mother-In-Law's idea of a balanced meal. Interestingly, Gray appears to watch Whitney from across the Square as she fools about with Kush, as he approaches her you can see he has some kind of plan working away in his brain. In an attempt to stop Karen interfering with his children, he takes it upon himself to hire Whitney as a type of Nanny I guess, who will do the cooking and cleaning for them, doing the school run etc. Karen seems a little taken back by this but Gray reassures her that it'll leave her to do more fun activities with the children, taking them to the cinema or park. Karen agrees to Gray's decision but I feel that you can see deep down that she's slightly disappointed. The only thing I want to ask is, will Gray stick to his promise? Will he still allow her to see her Grandchildren?! I'd hate for Karen to be Gray's next victim, lets just hope that in time Gray's mask will slide and everyone will know about Chantelle and Tina!

The second thing I want to mention is Kathy. Being a Mother, it's only understandable why she's concerned for Ian. Not hearing from him for the past 2 days and the fact no one has any idea where he's disappeared to, he has simply upped and vanished. For a second time she confronts Sharon, convinced that she knows more than she's letting on. As Kathy goes to speak to Sharon, Peter voices that he's not the slightest bit worried about his Dad. His whole persona is "He doesn't care about us, why should we care about him?!". Regardless of his brother's attitude, Bobby does also seemed concerned for his Dad, acknowledging that has been missing for 2 days and no one knows where he is! He hasn't been in touch with anyone. Eventually when Kathy catches up with Sharon, she claims that Sharon knows where Ian has gone. I mean to be, she doesn't know where he's disappeared to, but the only information she does give Kathy is that they had a row and he simply took off. It's then that Kathy makes the very valid point that Ian hasn't taken any money with him and he only left with the clothes that he was wearing. Suddenly as soon as Kathy mentions contacting the police, Sharon attempts to reassure Kathy that Ian will be fine wherever he his, but then Bobby appears announcing he's already reported his Father as missing and the police are waiting for them to go the station to give a statement. Is Sharon's secret about to come to light?!

Thirdly, tensions are visibly rising between Honey and Jay! As they're sat with Janet as she makes celebratory cards for Ben and Callum for Ben's upcoming proposal, it's clear that Honey and Jay can't keep their eyes off of each other. They agreed that they want to give their relationship a go, but trying to be subtle about it is pretty difficult. As they reach out to take a hold of each other's hands, both Billy and Lola burst into the room, causing them to stop in their actions. However, it looks like Lola has an idea as what was about to happen, she glares at them with evil eyes as Billy interreacts with his daughter. Later on in the Vic, whilst Honey and Jay are alone enjoying a drink, Lola approaches them informing them she can no longer hide their secret from her Pops anymore. She makes a very valid point, how is it going to look when Billy realises that she knew about their secret, it would destroy him even more. She gives them an ultimatum, informing them that they need to inform Billy about their romance by the end of the week, and if they don't tell him, she will!

I think in my previous post I mentioned that I was finding Chelsea's storyline quite difficult to follow, sometimes I think it's quite difficult to tell whether she genuinely cares for her Father, or whether it's all a big act just to keep him on side. What do you guys think? Anyway, she takes it upon herself to visit the church in which Denise took Raymond and unfortunately spotted Lucas. She informs the minister that she hasn't seen her Dad for days, considering he's lawing low since his attack to keep her safe. She pleads to the minister to tell her what he knows. It looks as if the minister gives her information which leads her to a food bank of some kind, there we see Lucas grabbing some food and carrying rucksack - Is he homeless? Has he been sleeping rough? Lucas is stunned to see his daughter. After having a brief catch up, Chelsea heads back home to seek help from her Mother, however Denise is less than impressed when she asks whether Lucas could stay at her house for the time being. Denise states that if Lucas is meant to be lying low, then the best way for him to do that would be sleeping rough. She even attempts to remind her daughter that Lucas killed his ex-wife and then attempted to kill, why on Earth would she allow a murder into her home? Especially when she has young Raymond to think about! Unfortunately, Denise and Chelsea's heated discussion turns into a blazing row, which causes Denise to to yell at her daughter that she wants nothing to do with Lucas, to which Chelsea responds with that she wants nothing to do with her before storming out of the house. Interestingly, Patrick and Kim seem to overhear the commotion, whereas Kim completely agrees with her sister, Patrick has another suggestion - if Denise is continuously worrying about her daughter, wanting to know that she's safe and wanting to keep an eye on her, maybe the only way to do that would to allow Lucas to stay at their home. As he states "Keep your enemies close!"

The final thing I need to mention is Mick! After learning in the previous episode that Jed is also one of Katy's victims, it only feels right if Linda informs her husband. Gently she brings up the subject of going to the cemetery with Frankie the previous day, Mick seems surprised but allows his wife to explain. She informs him that it was just Frankie, herself and Jed - Katy went up separately, so she didn't see her. She eventually explains that she began to ask Jed about his relationship with Katy and Harry, and reveals to her husband that Jed was actually Harry's Father, he's 29 now which means that that Jed was actually 13 when Katy gave birth to Harry. Mick looks absolutely sick to his stomach as he realises that he's not just the only one who Katy abused, but then Linda drops the next bombshell that there are in fact more and not just him and Jed! Later on in the episode, Frankie visits her Father, questioning whether Linda had gone to the police after learning the truth about Jed, but interestingly Mick seems to inform her about when Linda was attacked by Dean - not going into too much detail, but explaining that she was attacked by someone who they thought wasn't all bad and was also a member of their family - getting to the point that when she informed the police it took a lot out of the family but it felt right for Linda, meaning that if Mick was to go to the police about Katy, it might help him cope. Frankie seems devastated as she realises her Father is leaning towards reporting Katy to the police, informing him that he only wants what's best for him and no one else matters, not even considering Jed. Later we see Mick walking through the Square, as he does, he notices Will playing on his own with a football - you seem to realise how innocent Will is, he has no cares in the world and just pure happiness - you seem to realise that Mick was robbed of his childhood because of Katy. Later when Linda finds him in the Vic, he reveals how felt while watching Will play, it seems to hit him hard that he was only Will's age when he was abused. It's at this point I think that now Mick knows that there are more victims, Katy needs to pay for what she's done, not just to him but to Jed and anyone else she has done it to!

Will Mick go to the police and report Katy? With all these separate storylines going on at once, I am really intrigued to see how each one plays out. What will happen between Honey and Jay, will they build up the courage to tell Billy about their romance?! What is REALLY going on with Chelsea and will Denise be able to cope with Lucas living under her roof?! I genuinely can't wait to see what happen next! EastEnders is getting better and better I think, the stories are really hard-hitting, gripping and intriguing that make you want to see the outcome. Thank you all for reading, I hope you all enjoy the rest of your week! Please feel free to leave me any comments or messages and I'll always respond! Thanks again folks! Love you all xXx

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