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theonceoverthinker · 6 years

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OUAT 3X15 - Quiet Minds

What did the doctor diagnose Zelena with when she came complaining about knee pain?

Oz-teoperosis! XD

I wish I could get you to a doctor! I’m actually pretty sad to watch this episode and I’m sure you know why. So let’s get to it. Under the cut is where you want to be.

Press Release

Neal finds himself back in Storybrooke and yearns for a way to reconnect with his son Henry, whose memories of his father are gone, while also trying to find his own father, Rumplestiltskin, whom he has just learned is alive but missing, and Regina discovers a possible connection with Robin Hood. Meanwhile, in the Fairy Tale Land that was over the past year, agonizing over the death of his father, Neal - with the help of Belle and enchanted candelabra Lumiere - attempts to find a magical solution to bring back Rumplestiltskin from the dead.

Main Thoughts - Characters/Stories/Themes and Their Effectiveness

Past

I like how Belle and Neal’s past conversation is almost meta like in their discussion of the nature of Rumple’s sacrifice (Ex. Belle debates that Rumple saved everyone whereas Neal debates that he saved just his family). I like this discussion so much and wish that we had more Neal and Belle moments because these kind of discussions about Rumple’s morality are so interesting! Neal is much more critical of Rumple’s every act, be in kind in nature or not while Belle is more lenient, choosing to believe in him. I can’t help but wonder how these two would’ve worked together going forward had Neal not died. Would they have been able to get along because of those differences? Probably, but I could see the occasional fight break out between them. And it’s interesting to see how in the end, Neal is right. While undoubtedly the thing anyone would do -- save their child over the dagger -- it was selfish for everyone who now had to deal with the consequences of that decision. Rumple saved his family -- not the grander scheme of things. BUT that’s not framed as a terribly bad thing either, and rightfully so, as evidenced by neal calling it a “true sacrifice” during his death scene. It’s still legit.

I like how Neal’s lack of magical understanding -- one of his biggest character flaws -- is what gets him into this mess, as well as his impatience to get back to his family. I some ways, it reminds me of a reverse version of “The Crocodile.” There, Rumple’s need for vengeance, over-reliance on magic, and impatience costs his best chance at getting back to his family and the same happens here.

The dialogue between Zelena and Rumple has much more meat to it in hindsight than during the first go-around. There’s this whole other layer to the conversation that’s completely missed without the context that Rumple was Zelena’s tutor and taught her basically how to be evil and powerful!

Present

The story in the present section is definitely one of those “all come together moments” where the plot is more of the driving force than a story and it works fine enough here.

Because of that...well, let’s talk about Neal’s death, why don’t we?

I feel like when talking about Neal’s death, we have to do it in two parts: The first is how the death worked on its own (I.E. the staging, how it fits into the story of the episode, etc.). The second is how it worked as the death of a character (I.E. what this character’s death left people desiring, was it an appropriate death, why this death happened, last impressions of the character). I’m going to focus on the first part here and the second part over where I talk about the cultural elements of the show.

So within a vacuum, how was Neal’s death handled in the confines of this episode? Eh. Neal is so adamant about getting back to his family and making things right and just leaps at his death without looking for another option. I just can’t help but feel like Neal would be a bit more stubborn with that. He’s giving up his chance to be alive with him family. If this was the only way and alternatives were explored a bit more, that would’ve been one thing, but they’re not. Belle reads exactly one book and they don’t even try to consult Blue or Regina before going to this final resort. It’s not impossible to believe, but it is hard.

But that’s not all there is to a death. Some of it can come down to his goodbyes to other characters and Neal had the benefit of dying beside the two people he was closest to: Rumple and Emma. And while Henry is absent during the scene, and understandably so given the story, his absence of presence and memories creates an extra layer of underlying tragedy to this death that thankfully is brought up in the next episode. But let’s keep our focus on Emma and Rumple. Now, I like talking about shippy stuff at the bottom of my review and I will further elaborate on my points there, but to sum it up, it was honestly so beautiful and touched upon every point it needed to. I genuinely loved it. As for Rumple, it’s perfect. I love the sharp denial Rumple has for Neal’s passing, jumping between every stage of grief and being left so emotional as he finally passes. Every touch is so important and emphasized and I think the staging of Emma holding Neal so those touches would stick out more was a masterful choice.

Insights - Stream of Consciousness

-Zelena, I don’t recommend wearing that Wicked Witch cosplay while trying to blend in!

-”Beautiful one.” Not really selling me on adoring your monkeys when you sound like you’re about to butcher a puppy, Zelena!

-FUCK! Rumple can run! Does Storybrooke have a track team because if so, put him on that track team!

-Oh jeez. While funny (And I do believe that’s what they were going for, and it works), I am so glad Killian gave Belle a better apology later on in the series.

-”What the hell?” What the hell’s right! Lumiere is more than a touch creepy!

-Yay! We’re finally starting to really touch upon the Captain Beauty friendship!

-”I got you breakfast because I am supermom.” I love the way Emma says that line and sinks into that big armchair as she says it like, “Yeah, I’m a boss.”

-”That’s a bagel?” Emma, I am so proud of you for instilling such a good taste in bagels into your son. *Tear falls*

-In case there was ever a doubt to Henry being noble as all hell, he’d rather go back to SCHOOL than be lied to!

-Not gonna lie: Neal looks REALLY hot in that t-shirt!

-Watching Neal hear about how Henry not only doesn’t remember the bond they’ve formed, but how he does remember him as a jerk is so harsh and heartbreaking!

-I love how Zelena just concots this whole fucking story for Lumiere that is so typically Rumple! XD

-So I’m looking at the cover to the book that Belle’s reading about The Dark One and it says “IN A AKY ACAZ CA KAWO.” Does anyone know what this means?

-”Born out of -- well -- darkness.” More like vengeance, but sure, whatevs.

-Neal! Why did you blow Lumiere out?! And without a warning?! That was just rude!

-”Says more about them than it does about you.” I don’t know about that, Zelena. Your story was pretty convincing, tbh.

-For all of Zelena’s strengths as a villain, the woman is as subtle as a brick to the face! XD

-REGINA CAUGHT A FUCKING ARROW! WHAT A BADASS!

-Not to get into shippy stuff, but that’s 2 couples so far that have explored this farmhouse!

-JELLO! I still mourn for the jello scene that never canonically was, but fuck, I love this one!

-I love the shot of the clearing by The Dark One’s Vault! The snow and wintery atmosphere makes it so gorgeous!

-Once again, Robert Carlyle is creepy and awesome as hell for it!

-Seriously! Someone get Rumple on a track team!

-I can’t help but feel like it may have been a better idea for the candle to not be revealed as a villain until Belle discovers it. Like I get that he’s supposed to be redeemed, making this a double twist of sorts, but I wasn’t feeling it.

-”The Wicked Witch?” Belle’s tone to me implies that Belle has either seen or read “The Wizard of Oz.” Thoughts and HC’s?

-Like father, like son with that impatience!

-Neal, when things start to glow, we take our hands off of them!

-He loves pizza! I like how just like with the underlying softness between Robin and Regina, there’s that underlying memory of Henry and having pizza with his dad.

-The special effects team must’ve had a fucking FIELD DAY with that transformation in the woods! The actual hell?!

-I love how Lumiere calls his bit of goodness a flash of conscience because damnit -- that’s what it is!

-”I’ll be watching over you guys from somewhere.” Good HEAVENS! I have one HELL of a theory about the nature of the Underworld for Neal and Rumple. Remind me to tell you about it some time!

-”Let go.” NO! Rumple, save him!

-I feel bad laughing given that we just lost Neal, but WHY do the Charmings have two doors to their bathroom! Even the architects in Storybrooke are so fucking extra! XD

-”That was rather ill-timed.” Zelena, you fucking bitch!

-Okay, when Zelena stepped over Neal’s head, I was terrified she was gonna crush him.

-We get a nice bit of Golden Swan in this episode! Not only are they mutually grieving Neal’s loss as he dies and for a few moments afterwards, BUT we see how Rumple has faith that Emma will rally everyone to defeat Zelena!

-I’m not gonna lie: I’m kind of loving this Rumple whump. Having the dagger shoved quite literally in his face -- I don’t know how to describe it, but it does stuff to me, okay!

-I don’t know if Zelena makes him walk back to his cafe instead of poofing to torture him or if he voluntarily does that so he gets some time to himself to mourn, but either way is so sad!

-GOING FROM A FATHER MOURNING HIS SON TO A FATHER PLAYING WITH HIS SON IS NOT OKAY FOR MY PSYCHE, WRITERS! *Cries*

-That having been said, seeing Robin and Roland play together is fucking precious!

-Take that, people who say no one cares about Belle! Snow goes over there and checks on her! :D

-Oh sweet! The lake is back, which will henceforth be known as The Mirror Lake! Like seriously, the entire crew was having a fucking field day with this half season. These shots! These effects!

-THE TEARS ARE BACK AGAIN FOR THIS EMMA/HENRY TALK!

Arcs - How Are These Storylines Progressing?

The Wicked Witch - Once again, Zelena gets to show off how intimidating she truly is! In the present, she continues to manipulate everyone into thinking she’s a good person and even when she’s exposed, she still manages to kill Neal in the process. And in the past, her plan is straight up devious and so cleverly put together. Even as she’s now exposed, getting there only took four episode and didn’t lag too much at all. Also, there’s still so much to get into that there’s enough fresh ideas to keep the arc chugging along. Also also, I REALLY get how so many people wouldn’t want a redeemed Zelena after this moment. Hell, I don’t think I want it anymore either! Like, Zelena is fucking wicked and just as much as wicked always wins, seeing her laud Neal’s death -- a death that she cause -- over Rumple fucking hurts to watch!

Emma Accepting Home - I think that Neal’s death was an important thing to depict to show Emma the dangers of being in Storybrooke and to reinforce her desires to leave with Henry for a life in New York.

Favorite Dynamic

Neal and Killian. Look, we had a bunch of good dynamics here, but this was a sad episode and I need something lighthearted to fangirl over. This is about as good of closure as we were ever going to get between Neal and Killian and I utterly LOVED it. The jello Killian offers Neal is funny as all hell, I love their conversation concerning the nature of the good and evil deeds they’re doing and...THAT HUG! It’s sweet and and awkward and a little uncomfortable, but is also so earnest. And fuck me gently with a spoon, Neal calls Killian...well, Killian! There aren’t a lot of characters who do that and the implication of them doing so is that on some level, they get who he is, so to see Neal join those ranks is just beautiful.

Writer

Kalinda Vazquez is our writer today, and boy was she stuck with a difficult episode. Killing a major character is NEVER easy, especially such a big one. Until the the end of Season 5, this was a burden left solely on her shoulders alone (Unless you thought Rumple did die during “Coming Home,” I didn’t). And with that difficult situation, I think she made something very solid. Neal’s death, while not ideally set up in some ways, IS a tragic scene that allows for Neal to get a degree of closure with the three most important people in his life. I can talk about the rest of the episode, but that was where the writing needed to work, and thankfully, it did.

Culture

I feel like I should preface the discussion about Neal’s death as an overall factor on the series as a whole by talking about my original experiences with the character. I binged Seasons 2 and 3 a few months apart, so a lot of Neal’s time on the show passed for me in a blur. I didn’t hate him by any means, but he didn’t leave a big impression on me.

This rewatch changed things. I started to pay more attention to him as a character. That happened mostly I think because there’s always been such a controversy surrounding him and because I didn’t pay much attention to him last time in favor of some of the flashier characters, I wanted more than anything to form my own opinion on him. Much to my pleasure, that opinion was positive, and as I closed in on his death, I began to get sad at the thought of it -- so much so that I put off the start of this review basically all day.

Anyways, let’s talk about the larger factors of the death (I.E. what this character’s death left people desiring, was it an appropriate death, why this death happened, last impressions of the character). I talked about my last impressions of him, so we’ll get into everything else.

Now, I can’t speak for anyone else here, but I can speak for me when I say that I was left desiring a lot more development with Neal’s relationships with both Rumple and Henry. While I like the resolution Neal and Rumple got, i can’t help but feel like it had to zip dash to the finish line when Neal’s introduction back into the series implied that this was going to be a harder road. We only got a few episodes of them being at odds and while those moments were mostly great, they’re so little compared to all of the baggage they had. There’s no point where Neal sees the scale of what Rumple did cursing this land and reacting to it and he barely gets to spend time with Belle.

As for his time with Henry, yeah. I would’ve liked to see more of them. After Neal’s death, Henry carries so much grief over him throughout the other seasons, mentioning him at least once a season until we hit 7, but in terms of the time they spend together and how that time is spent, we come up really short. They play games and have pizza and that’s all well and good, but I feel like it would’ve been great had Neal occasionally given Henry some advice or left him with a phrase or something that would’ve equaled out to all the love that Henry has for him. Like, where Neal’s “with great power comes great responsibility” Uncle Ben moment? What we got was fine enough, but I would’ve liked to honestly have seen a bit more meat to it.

Was the death appropriate, or rather, was it warranted? Certainly more so than Robin’s (I’ll get to that one), but to tell you the truth, I’m not sure. I think that it opened up story possibilities that were taken good advantage of and Neal’s death was given the dignity he deserved, making the death more than just something done for shock, but as a story point that would follow Henry, Rumple, and Emma for a while. I think the broad strokes with Neal’s character were taken care of prior to the death and while I have my issues with it in regards to the finer details of some of his dynamics, Neal was pretty complete. That having been said, the issue of if a death needed to happen is a valid one and it opens a lot of points that, to be honest, I just don’t know if can delve as deeply into it as the topic deserves. There are so many factors that go into this conversation, up to and including the magical world of OUAT and the resurrections that take place afterwards. So my answer is a light yes, but there is so much room for nuance in this conversation that it’s nothing I’d give a ride-or-die answer to.

Now here comes the “fun” question: Why did Neal die? A lot of people attribute it to Captain Swan and bringing an end to the love triangle, and that is not a line of thinking I agree with. And I know, it makes sense that I’d say that as a CS shipper, but I beg you to follow my line of thinking here.

Neal was killed because of the choice to make Rumple a baddie again. When you look at Season 4, Rumple plays a gambit on everyone. If Neal were alive and in character, he would not have been able to do that without getting caught by someone other than Killian. I’ve mentioned before, but what makes Neal a great character and a great contrast to Belle is that while Belle is willing to often give him the benefit of the doubt, Neal isn’t. Neal would’ve been on Rumple’s ass the second he heard something shady and Rumple’s so shady, he makes the space underneath a pine tree look like the Sahara on a cloudless day. And look, that’s not Rumple’s fault, or even the writers necessarily, but I’m gonna say that they had some idea of what they wanted from Season 4 by this point and they understood that there had to be a trade off for Rumple’s development of an evil plan and his returned love for his power. And Neal, just as he was in this episode, was the price. I’m not happy about it -- I hope that’s something I’ve made clear -- but that’s my thought process.

Rating

9/10. Everything about this episode was going to come down to how well Neal’s death was handled. Fortunately, it was done well -- not flawlessly, but well. The story was solid and it delivers on giving the audience a level of closure for the character, closure that will continue for the rest of the season. Even the past segment offered something unique in that regard, making for a weird kind of love letter to Neal. It’s an episode that really does encompass his character and a send off that is divisive, but for me, more satisfying than not.

Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness”

Swan Fire - You really see just how determined Neal and Emma are to get back together here and it works so much! Even Belle ships it, explicitly reasoning the safety of Emma’s necklace was a result of it originating from their “True Love.” No matter what you get from that line, I think the role that that necklace took on for both of them as well as its presence throughout the series shows how special Neal and Emma were to each other. Also, I love seeing Emma and Neal bonding over their evil significant others. Watching them laugh together in the forest just shows how in-tune they are with each other. Seeing Neal remorseful for how things with Walsh turned out is so sweet. Finally, let’s talk about Neal’s death. Neal’s attention to making sure Emma knows that she can find love and happiness is so important here. Neal cares so much about Emma and you see it as he shakily holds that necklace up to her, begging her to continue on her story. And seeing Emma barely able to hold herself together while watching Neal die guts me. The acting from both of these guys is amazing! And that hug as she cradles him to her chest choked me up and got some tears welling!

Rumbelle - “I love him -- all of him -- even the parts that belong to the darkness.” I really like this line and it leaves a lot to be discussed when it comes to the nature of Rumple and Belle’s love. It’s important not only to see as a point about the depths of Belle’s love for Rumple, but also as a point about that love’s limitations. As I said in my “Skin Deep” review last summer, Belle is one of the only characters who gets to show amusement at some of Rumple’s antics. But I like this line because it gels well with the breakup we see in Season 4, Belle likes the darkness, but has clear limits on what how much Rumple can let that darkness effect him. It makes Belle a good character with human-like limits, but showing that there is something attractive to even a good person about the darkness. ANYWAY, let’s just look at Rumple and Belle’s reactions to Rumple coming out of the vault. Belle’s got freakin’ tears welled up and Rumple’s first word is her name! It’s -- to quote a sexy narrator -- straight out of a telenovela!

Outlaw Queen - Once again, I like their banter a lot! I also like the gentleness that’s formed between them because of their adventures in the Enchanted Forest. While they don’t remember it, there’s an underlying feeling of trust that you can just tell is there and watching it is really fun. Like, they’re really cute and despite later seasons really taking me out of OQ, I do sincerely love their origins here. Also, I want to talk about this line: ”From where I’m standing the ‘Evil’ moniker seems to be something of an overstatement.” I know this line gets a bit of criticism, but I actually think it works. For me, part of what works about Outlaw Queen is that Robin, from his perspective, is a redeemed villain and he’s hanging with and will come to court a redeemed villain. From his current perspective, he sees her in her current more redeemed form and thinks that she’s on his level, but currently has no idea what he’s getting into. That’s what makes the Marian twist at the end of Season 3 so big and why I’m so annoyed that that nuance isn’t brought up later! ...Sorry I got a bit off topic back there. Finally, I love their chemistry! Sean and Lana have some sexy chemistry in 3B! I love the way Robin and Regina are basically flirting over drinks! It’s cute as all hell!

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Wow. That was… a lot. This episode left me with a lot to think about in terms of fictional deaths. Please don’t take anything I say here as ultra definitive because I promise you, I could see my mind being swayed by a good enough argument.

Anyways, thank you all for reading that and to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales! Love you all and see you all soon!

Season 3 Total (145/220)

Writer’s Scores: Adam and Eddy (39/60) Kalinda Vazquez (26/40) Andrew Chambliss (27/50) Jane Espenson (20/30) David Goodman (20/40) Robert Hull (30/40) Christine Boylan (20/20)* Daniel Thomsen (20/30)

* Indicates that their work for the season is complete

Links to the rest of my rewatch will no longer be provided. Tumblr now take posts with links outside of searches and I spend way too much time on these reviews to not give them that kind of exposure. Sorry for the inconvenience, but they still can be found on my page under Operation Rewatch.

#ouat #once upon a time #watching fairytales #ouat 3x15 #ouat rewatch #jenna watches ouat #whoo boy #that was a long ass review #you better enjoy it!

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fruitshake · 4 years

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Rules: List your 10 favorite female characters from 10 different fandoms and tag people

Thanks @squirrelmort for the tag!!

In no particular order:

Scorpia from She-ra! She’s so sweet and loving and is also very strong and looks like a scorpion. Dream girl hello????

Chika Takami from love live! sunshine!! she’s so bright and energetic and i relate to her a lot. Plus she has the best voice i’ve ever heard Inami Anju please marry me

Togo from Yuki yuna wa yuusha de aru! She’s in a wheelchair but still a magical girl??? Also she’s the strongest one out there and her backstory was just heart-wrenching aaa

Emma from Yakusoku no neverland!! She has a really strong spirit and never gives up! she is also a bit stupid which is very cute and she loves her family a lot and she always pulls them through!! please watch the promised neverland

Ochako from boku no hero academia! can you tell i love genki types lol she’s so sweet and her everlasting pining on the only soft boy in class made me like her a lot!! plus she can fly and wears pink?? queen

Okay so technically this one is a boy but i headcanon them as nb so can i include semimaru? from 7 seeds (its on netflix i had never heard about it before either) this one really is just an asshole at first, but it turns out he’s just being mean so the weak protagonist can grow stronger (and he might have a crush on her??????? i usually hate the mean crush trope but it works sososo well here??????)

Rin Hoshizora from Love live! (behold!! another orange haired genki girl!!!) She used to think she wasn’t cute enough and her hair was too short to become an idol, and didnt dare to dress feminine because she was afraid she might be made fun of :( shes always so full of energy and pushed her best friend to follow her dreams!!!! also she talks like a cat which is so funny

Kase from Kase-san and the morning glories! (the one on the right) Im just gay for this one and she’s so caring and got matching phone straps and kjdnjfkdn im yearning

Ichigo from Tokyo mew mew! this was my first anime ever and i (had a crush on) really liked Ichigo! shes pink, she’s a cat, she has a cute alien friend? sold

Megumi from Shokugeki no Souma! She tbh has it the worst out of all the other girls in the first 2 seasons but im so glad she got more confident and kicks ass now too!!! i cosplayed her a few years ago and it was a lot of fun!!

and that’s ten!! tbh i have only a few active fandoms but i remember i really liked these girls!!!!

i tag @thesnowidol4life @ohnosparkles @m-eowdy (yeah its anime but i have a reason behind every character shut up) @narwhalsarefalling @linnyhuman

you dont have to do this ofc but id love to read your ‘types’ and why you like certain characters!!!!

#tag game #favourite characters #about me #squirrelmort

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nbsilvally · 7 years

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getting some thoughts because it’s getting closer to my birthday, about myself, about my birthday, and the past few years in my current developments

it’s a... really long post so please if you’re reading it, like it or just take the time to read it.

cw serious depression? maybe suicide talk

it’s another holiday season approaching me and last year i managed to have a birthday i could enjoy with friends. but this year, i really don’t have anyone here in person to celebrate with and it sucks a bit. I have my mom and I could go to the game shop for a bit, but rly i don’t have any friends i could just call up and say “hey, let’s hang” at this moment. a lot of folks are going out of town for my birthday or with family and it leaves me in a point where i’ve also had my birthday forgotten by everyone in a near sixteen candles experience on my 21st and been told to shut up about it and how it’s not that special when i was 19 and excited about it (yes, i remember it.)

i’ve always been feeling outcast and i don’t know if it’s me or majority of people just act cautiously around me because like i feel like no one knew how to really talk to me without treating me like i’m inexperienced or stupid and it just, i get it. At times, i’m hard to talk or i can make things feel forced but it’s not like i mean to (i still apologize if i ever put you in a position like that and please understand if i message you that you can just get back to me whenever). It’s hard to feel included in friend groups or circles and i guess i always been sort of a group hopper w/ a set of friends who i just stick to between groups or interests. I don’t feel comfortable sticking my foot in just one circle i guess. It’s hard to describe,

It’s just weird because 23 is my first real adult birthday i feel. I’m out of school, i’m out of a job temporarily, all i’m doing is stressing over bills and work, i’m still planning how i’m gonna start saving money with the new job, and there’s a lot incoming in the next few weeks that I don’t know how i’ll handle tbh. I’ve been forced to be on my own working w/ Walmart (well until i got fired). So I realized how cut off from people in person I’ve become.

This year is also closing too so I guess 2017 + 22 has been... an experience of itself. There’s a lot I wanna say to specific people and I can’t fully express my emotions right now because my head is a jumble but i also had no background noise.

Let’s start with just myself. Self discovery was a huge thing. I’ve really neglected my own health and old habits really kept me in spots along with struggling w/ depression and i guess separation anxiety. There’s another thing I’ve always wondered if I had but I can’t say until I check w/ a professional. However, let’s focus on the positives....? I’ve learned to finally cope with being alone, sort of. It’s been a couple of years where Zan finally been focusing on school and I haven’t fully had a chance to just grow on my own when he and I constantly talked. So when he’s been busy, I’ve been forced to let go of Codependency. I had to learn to take care of myself and stop pitpatting my feet around and buckle down. The issue was when I was school, I feel like there was a level of things I could focus and buckle down on, while now on my own, I couldn’t really not focus. Now I’m focusing trying to break out of doing things dependent on others. It’s not easy but I was talking with Ven and I’m half considering taking long walks/jogs every now and then up to Walmart and back (~3 hours just walking). I’m unfortunately really picky but I... really need to work on eating better. I just haven’t been able to escape these mindsets but I will get to it when I build the courage the take the step.

I still have a lot to work on but I’m going to be 23. I have time. I will work on my goals and buckle down this year and hopefully by next year this time, I’ll be out of South Carolina.

Now, to people who just helped me through it out.

Zan, my boyfriend and my love and light, you’ve done a lot, just working hard on your own. We haven’t had time to do many dates because you’re busy with school or with Addy and your life outside the computer, but it’s okay. I know you’re working hard and we’re trying to find little things to do together and talk about again recently. I’ve missed moments where we could call and sleep together, whispering sweet things to each other and just say I love you, but it’s good we’re independent because if we’re as dependent as we were on another, it’d fall me back into codependency and I can’t afford to just live based off what you’re doing. I’m going to grow and when we see each other again, I will show you I’m doing my best, and I can’t wait to see you again.

Ven, 2017 was the year we really did become best friends. I met you vaguely 2 years ago and really, I couldn’t ask for anyone better. Meeting you in person? It really showed me good things do happen to those who wait in a year of disasters and messes. I couldn’t be prouder of you too. You’ve grown stronger, even through the hardships and struggles you’ve been through yourself. We’ve talked about my feelings a lot and you’ve always been so considerate and even if you thought you said something that sounded wrong with problems, it wasn’t a problem because I knew you wouldn’t mean it in a bad way. There’s just a level of even if I’m constantly apologizing or freaking out, I feel like I can do it comfortably around you because you’re just really comfortable to be around. You’ve also helped me out in tight money spots and I wish I could pay you back in triple. When you visited, I just got too excited to do everything, even if we couldn’t and if you happen to swing by again or whenever I’m there, I hope you know I’m going to be excited to travel around and explore, and that’s mainly because it’s with you. I really appreciate you Ven and you’re one of most trusted, caring, and real friends I could ever ask for, and you honestly just... really taught me what a friend really feels like.

Seren, PokeRP on twitter was fun and you as Silvally and me as Lusamine crack rping was one of the best things i’ve had for a while we laughed and got together. There was a level of my anxiety after discord’s stuff and i fled after the bot incident but I really do enjoy talking with you and learning your opinion on stuff, even if i might not agree (but YOU WAS RIGHT ABOUT USUM!!!!). Your cosplay and art are really good and I admire your hardwork and effort a lot. I’m glad I decided to do pokerp, cause i met you.

Mix, you’re a pretty fantastic person to just talk with about visual novels and anime and learning a LOT about all the general topics you know. Sure, you speak a lot and it can be hard to keep up sometimes, but I still try because you do provide a lot of helpful/interesting stuff and if there’s anything I can do too, I can go to you and you can be real. Even if we clash heads a bit. However, we have to just clash a bit to meet an understanding. You’ve been through a long journey of learning and growing yourself and I can say you’ve changed from the Mix I’ve knew in 2011-2012.

Emma, between meeting you w/ Total Drama and having similar interests, I think Tanboards is where I got to know you best honestly and between learning more about you and you tbh helping me learn about topics in general, it really has helped me grow. I really appreciate you helping me out too a lot where I’ve been in tight spots, between signal boosting and money. You’ve been a good friend and you really do deserve the best (so does all of Tanboards).

Appmon community, I never really got to know you until part 2 honestly, but I really felt welcomed into a fandom that was small but easy to talk with about the show. We all really connected and it was amazing to watch w/ you guys weekly and experience the show, theorizing, talking, gushing over it. Appmon movie when?

Fei, we don’t get to talk often but I appreciate you. Really. Sorry I don’t have much to say but I just really enjoy talking with you and getting to know you over the past few years has been one of the best friendships i’ve had. I really love your art too.

Free, same thing about not having been rly talking recently but your friendship means a lot to me and I really hope I can see you again. I miss hanging w/ you in person.

I have a lot more I can say but I’m tired but... If we’ve interacted, no matter how small its been, you’ve made a difference somehow,

even through the near suicide attempts I’ve made and the hard times where nothing seem positive and I’ve just wanted to just die or stop, you all made it an easier year to go through and here’s to 23 years, with every all of you there with me. Thank you.

Thank you so much. I couldn’t get through this without all of you, no matter how much you’ve interacted with me. It’s because of y’all that I’m still here. Honestly.

#pepsi posts #personoct #suicide ment #personoct is my new personal tag

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thehollowworldofficial · 6 years

Text

Elise’s Pitch Wars Welcome!

Hello! My name is Elise Longden, and I’m writing this little introduction because I have written a manuscript and I’m planning to submit it to Pitch Wars, the mentoring programme!

Whilst this little blog is where I record my thoughts about my writing, I’ve never really introduced myself - mostly because I believed I would never let anyone see it. However, the Pitch Wars form has room for a website, and I would rather link this blog as opposed to my Twitter (which is inactive) or my Instagram (which is just full of cosplay and dog photos).

To clarify, I have written a book called “The Hollow World”.

Okay so, here’s some stuff about me:

Submission related stuff that potential mentors may be interested in:

In 2017 I won the UK National Flash Fiction Competition run by the University of Chester and was published in an anthology that had also once featured Margaret Atwood (SQUEE!). My piece entitled “Flotsam” can be found here:

http://www.chester.ac.uk/sites/files/chester/Longden%20Elise%20-%20Flotsam%20FINAL.pdf

I got an A* A-Level grade (It’s not to big myself up...just in case anyone not British doesn’t know what that means!!!!) in Creative Writing, and my coursework, which was 70% of my grade, was the first 30,000 words of my Pitch Wars manuscript.

The idea for “The Hollow World” came to me in a Film Studies class at college. After trying /(and failing) to come up for an idea to base a project around, my teacher gave me an exercise to generate some ideas. She took a few traits typical of Hollywood films, and told me to flip them on their head. Thus, “The Hollow World”, or at least a basis for it, was born, and three (ish) years later, I still can’t get it out of my head.

Basically the idea of Ashe came from my bizarre urge to see a tiny little girl violently killing things in a film. I thought I was being super original, but the film Logan beat me to it. I can’t even be mad, because Dafne Keen is so incredible?!

The reason why I’m submitting to Pitch Wars, is because I need help. That’s the bottom line. I have edited my manucript the best I can, but I need someone who can take what I’ve written and look at it from a fresh, and new perspective. I am new to the idea of getting my manucript published (though I have always dreamed I would), and navigating the crazy world of publishing and agents and general make-your-writing-an-actual-book stuff....is scary. And I really, really, need your help. I need someone who is honest who can tell me what needs to be done. I’ve done the best I can, and now I need someone who is better than me.

I draw, so here’s some pictures of the characters from the “The Hollow World”, that may hopefully pique your interest:

ASHE

MAGPIE

NADIA

CASSIDY

SOME FACES

SOME MORE FACES

Whilst these were drawn about a year ago and aren’t my best work, I’m hoping they entice potential mentors, just a ‘lil bit more! :)

Some general stuff about me:

I am a pretty happy and positive person, who loves to work hard. If I have a task or idea inside my head, I will hyperfixate on it until it’s done. For example...this manuscript was unfinished (by about 20,000 words) on the 1st of August. It was my first draft that I hadn’t read through, it was unformatted, it was riddled with errors and inconsistancies, but after meeting the lovely Tomi Adeyemi and talking to her about Pitch Wars, I decided to enter. So I took my jumbled mess, I put my butt into gear, and I spent day after day writing, writing, writing, until I felt happy enought to submit it. I also had to learn what I query letter was, because I am a publishing term noob. My point is, I am willing to push myself, and go all out at 110% percent, if that somehow helps me achieve what I want to achieve.

I am 19 and I live in the UK (specifically near Liverpool).

I cosplay as well! I’ve been Rey, Leia, and a generic Jedi from Star Wars, Margaery Tyrell and Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones, Pirate King Elizabeth Swann from Pirates of the Caribbean, and I spend 70% of my time in my 13th Doctor costume.

I love Hamilton, and can rap all of it. I love musicals in general tbh.

I have an unhealthy obsession with Moriarty from Sherlock Holmes.

Have I mentioned that the 13th Doctor is the best thing ever to happen to me?

I have a dinosaur hat that I wear whenever I’m sad, because it’s pretty impossible to be sad with a giant T-Rex on your head. And by “hat” I mean this thing:

Pretty majestic, right?

ANYWAY

I’m ace/aro, which is why my book features no romance.

I love my dog Rocky more than anything. He looks like this:

As well as a mentor who can teach me writer-y things, I’m also looking for a friend, so here’s some stuff I like:

TV Shows:

Merlin (the love of my life, tbh, and it broke my heart), DOCTOR WHO (especially the 13th Doctor, even though she hasn’t aired yet), Hannibal, Orphan Black, Sense 8, iZombie, TOP GEAR (Yes, the car show. I’m obsessed), Game of Thrones, Parks and Recreation, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Jessica Jones/any Netflix Marvel show, the 100 (early seasons because Lexa), RuPauls Drag Race, Queer Eye, Brooklyn 99, Stranger Things, Sherlock, Agent Carter...I’ve watched a lot okay?

Movies:

My ultimate favourite movie of all time is What We Do in the Shadows. Even if you’re not going to choose me as a mentee, then please what this dumb film. I love it. I LOVE IT. It’s dark comedy genius, and a real gem.

Other favourite films are: Wonder Woman, Ghostbusters (2017 version), Ocean’s 8 (will Cate Blanchett adopt me as her ace/aro child?), Marvel Films (particulary Thor: Ragnarok), Star Wars Films, Kingsman Films, John Wick Films, Pirates of the Carribbean Films, Harry Potter Films,Mad Max: Fury Road, Peter Pan Goes Wrong (if you pick me I’ll force you to watch it at some point, sorry), Disney Films (Mulan, Up!, and Hercules are my faves).

Books:

Some that don’t need an explanation: Harry Potter, A Song of Ice and Fire, His Dark Materials, Lord of the Rings. Anything by Neil Gaiman, Margaret Atwood, or Stephen King.

My favourite series, and arguably my “Harry Potter” is the Skulduggery Pleasant series by Derek Landy. I’ve met Derek multiple times, and his books are just hilarious, soul-destorying, and MAGIC. I love them.

A Closed and Common Orbit by Becky Chambers - Seriously, this Sci-Fi book is one of the most striking books I’ve ever read, mostly because it surprised me with it’s tender story, honest representations of real people, and general WOW-ness. I love it, and its flashbacks heavily influenced my own manuscript. You know when you love a book so much that you wish you could eat it? This is that book for me.

Moriarty by Antony Horowitz. My favourite villain of all time in a book that blew my mind? Yes please.

The Girl in 6E by A.R.Torre. I picked up this book for a quid in the supermarket, and it utterly suprised me. It’s about a sex-worker murder-obsessed cam girl who is asked to act out something on camera that’s a little too disturbing, so she tracks down the man who asked her in order to save a little girl from a vile act. Think Maestra meets The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. It’s not the most sophisticated reading with all of the bizarre sexual stuff, but the wit and exasperation of the main character makes up for it. I love anything that surprises me, and this book was something I'd never seen before.

Anything (memoir or fiction) by Carrie Fisher. As a Star Wars nerd I knew I would love her work, but when I read them I was blown away by how poignant, poetic, and wonderous Carrie Fisher’s writing is. She seems to find the perfect balance between humour and emotion, and reading them was a genuine joy. Each funny sentence makes me laugh out loud, but each serious sentence is heavy, poised, and so amazingly crafted and emotional.

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi. I was lucky enough to meet Tomi on her UK tour, and I gave her my very long letter and a portfolio of art. I love the book, and I love even more what it stands for, and there’s not much else I can really say.

Other books I loved in no order: The Power by Naomi Alderman, The Cursed Prince by Holly Black, The Hunger Games series by Suzanne Collins, the Chaos Walking series by Patrick Ness, the Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan, Throne of Glass by Sarah J Maas, The Time Traveller’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, the Gone series by Michael Grant, The Book Thief by Markus Zusak, The Martian and Artemis by Andy Weir, Lost Stars by Claudia Gray, Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn, Room by Emma Donoghue, Wicked by Gregory Maguire....and a helluva lot more....

And just so you know, here’s what I look like:

(I’m the human dressed as the 13th Doctor)

Hopefully this gives you an idea about me and my personality! I’m sorry this is so long, I just wanted to make sure I came across in an okay way! If any potential mentors are reading this, thank you for taking the time to!

If you want to read the notes/journal entries I kept on this blog when I was writing and editing my manucript, just search the tag #update!

My Twitter is: https://twitter.com/EliseLongden

My Instagram is: instagram.com/elise.longden/ (here you will find a lot of cosplay and dog pictures, and I’m not sorry)

If you have any questions or anything else you want to know, please feel free to shoot me an ask! Or just say hi!

#pitch wars #personal #elise's pitch wars welcome

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