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loser-female · 1 year

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How do I get into cybersecurity? It looks fascinating but I don’t even know where to begin (for context, I am 28, have a BA in a completely unrelated specialization, and live in the US) 💛

Hi! I wasn't ignoring you, I just had shit days at work. Keep in mind that I work in EU and the labour market is different. I've heard a lot of lay-offs in the last few months but I have no idea if this involved cybersecurity positions or not. Also I'm a SOC Analyst specialising in Threat Intelligence. There are a lot of more positions to look out for, like if you are a lawyer you could go on the cyberlaw, privacy or auditing route.

Languages skills are appreciated a lot of you work in Threat Intelligence (I speak 4, currently learning Mandarin and my country sign language), coding skills are useful too.

Now, the usual path is:

1. Degree in computer science or software engineering (or math or physics, I did two years at physics)

2. You take a specialising course of some sort.

Some universities offers cybersecurity degrees I think (in my country it's a master's for example), and sometimes they might prepare you for CompTIA certs too. If you are lucky sometimes companies hire interns for like 6 months and they too make them study. My company did this... For the last interns. I had to be start my shifts after a month of learning lol. Idk if my manager threw a dice to choose between me and the other guy or if he noticed my ability.

I didn't follow that path, for various reason. I did a bootcamp and I took my certifications. But:

1. I've volunteered in a similar field for years and years (information research, debunking);

2. I speak 4 languages;

3. I did two years of physics before my health declined.

I do not recommend that part, because while I'm stupid good at my job, frankly my previous experience as volunteering did much more than any bootcamp.

Two points I feel I need make:

1. Certs. There are like an hundred or more, and it's a mess to figure it out. Plus it all depends what kind of role you want. Good news: most likely the company that will hire you will provide you access to few courses and the possibility to gain some of them, but IMHO taking a Sec+ or a Net+ is not a bad idea before looking for a job. While EC-Council is what HR looks at... Frankly let your company pay for it. Sec+ is like 350$ while a Ceh is 900$.

2. Downsides of my job - these are not talked enough imho.

-I work insane hours, I have two weekends free every two months because I work in shifts. I get paid more in my country (like I have a base hour rate and I get paid from 25% to 75% more of that rate if I like work on Christmas or a Sunday, nights get paid more obviously)

-I spend a significant amount of time studying and looking at news sites, social media to catch "the last news".

-Male environment. When I go to a conference I'm one of the like 20 women out of 1000, of which like 5 have a technical role like I do. It does make it feel like you are a freak even if no one is mean to you. I work from home, and I have only a female colleague - when I go to the office I'm the only woman out of 20 men. I love my colleagues and my manager, mind you, but if you are not in a good environment it's going to be a mess.

- Every company has a different set of tools, standards, programs etc that they use, and of you want to change job it can be hard to adapt.

-A SOC is a fast-paced environment and can be very stressful by nature, because it's a 24/7 service, and in certain parts of the day you can be inundated with alerts and issues to solve. And sometimes you have empty hours because nothing happens and it's boring.

- it's very important also to have soft skills because (like I did it today) you will be in charge of explaining what's going on to clients in a way that a 5 yo will understand, you will be in charge of projects, need to set enough time to study...

- You will meet people 1000x better than you are - and if you don't have the right mentality it's hard to deal with them, because you (well at least I do lol) will feel like an idiot and no one likes feeling like an idiot.

-Long hiring process. It took me a month from the first interview to be confirmed and two months to actually start - and this could really be a problem.

-Networking and connecting with others while it didn't land me a job definitely improved my skills, my credibility in the environment and who knows what else will happen in the future. Take what you can from others, most will be happy to share and help.

BUT!

Before committing you can try it with popular games such as Tryhackme or Hack The Box. They have learning environments where you can "play" and learn some basics. A real SOC or pen-test is like doing 10 of these challenges together but I had a lot of fun.

I hope this is enough! I tried to explain everything that someone considering a career in cybersecurity. Again, consider that I'm in Europe so this info might not be 100% accurate in the US.

#cybersecurity

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funkymbtifiction · 1 year

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instinctual variants

hi, i’m trying to figure out my instinctual variants and i think i have so and sx in my first two, but sometimes i feel like i value sp a lot still? for reference, i’m an enneagram 9w8.

I think so/sp. Let's unpack it.

for so, i love to stay up to trends, celebrity news, gossip with peers, etc. i have a generally easygoing attitude around people and try not to cause too much disharmony within a group. i love blending into social groups wherever i go, and if i can’t find one, i’ll usually bring together friends that i’m comfortable with to hang out in a group. i want to have a deep connection with someone/group of people where we know each other’s secrets, insecurities, desires, have many inside jokes, and just consider each other as the first people we’ll always turn to for everything. i can tell when i can consider a friend to be this potential person for me or not. it sucks when someone doesn’t give the same energy, since i’m used to relationships where we talk about literally everything, so when i find a new friend that texts back days later or seems detached, i have this urge to cut off the connection and find someone else who can give that reciprocal energy. when i’m not around a friend group for a period of time, i start to feel isolated and sort of depressed. <- social dominance

for sx, though i don’t feel an immediate attraction/repulse to certain people, i can feel this sort of “voodoo doll” pull to someone that even i don’t really understand. <- that indicates your sx isn't "dead," but the question would be -- do you throw aside all hesitation and go for it?

in relationships, i want to feel really involved with each other but also have a sense of privacy and alone time. <- alone time is sp

i’m not one to enter a relationship simply for financial and material aspects. <- good ;)

i do value stability and want to feel like i’m financially secure, but i also want someone who i’m actually in love with and is in love with me. <- normal desires, but also shows a sp desire for permanence

it’s like i can’t enter a relationship unless i feel this insane attraction toward someone. <- this is iffy, it could be sx, it could also not be

i sort of categorize people into “i could fall in love with them” or “best friends woo” and it’s hard for me to see a friend as suddenly a love interest. <- it would be for a lot of people; I almost feel like idolizing the "I suddenly realized I loved my best friend" might be more of an sp/so trope (we grew up together, and loved each other being sp)

i feel like i use sx more often in my obsessions with shows and movies, though, but this may veer into sp territory? i have to be intensely interested in a show/movie otherwise i won’t want to watch it or will have to be forced to watch it. if i like it, i’ll be obsessed with it, reading and watching every piece of media i could find about it. <- an so/sp friend of mine used this as an example of potentially being sx as well, but she's still sx-blind; I think sx-blinds are just as capable of being obsessed with shows, actors, etc. Obsession is not just sx, because it doesn't involve another human being -- being aware of the impact you are having on them (sexually or energetically), and also aware of the sexual/energetic affect they are having on YOU.

for sp, i care about food and calorie intake to keep my body in shape, and i try to exercise daily. <- why do you keep your body in shape? "for me" is sp. "so people will find me pleasing" is soc. "so I can beat out any sexual competition to attract the person I want" would be sx.

Your instincts are where your mind goes, and how it justifies your decisions -- an sx wants to look hot so they don't have to be second best in a room full of other hot people, so they can be competitive enough to get what they want. That's what motivates them toward self-care -- the idea of attracting someone sexually.

i think i am practical in regards to financial stability, in that i will pick a career that i’m not very passionate about if it means that i’ll have a stable income and can be able to provide for my and my loved ones. <- sp, not sp-blind

i find comfort in familiar and routine things and will stick to these until there’s an external factor changing my circumstances. <- strong sp

i also like feeling i have a space to retreat to when i feel drained/antisocial. <- sp again, yes.

So/sp seems right.

#question #social instincts #enneagram

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isabellaindellicati · 3 months

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Soc Meeds

I would define social media as an online outlet to express yourself, interests, style, thoughts, and more. It is a powerful tool to showcase who you are. I use social media in a variety of ways, some healthier than others. In a general sense, I use social media to showcase my best self. With the rise of insincerity on social media I feel a responsibility to be more vulnerable online; to do my small part in making social media less perfected and edited. But, it is almost impossible to not fear being judged or ridiculed. I show my vulnerability with my reasonings for such immense gratitude when I share my celebrations, my love for those in my life on their birthdays, but I don't share my struggles or insecurities online at all. When I have, i've deleted it or edited the posts to be less vulnerable. I feel a need at times to be "mysterious" on social media but its honestly a stupid idea being that I spend about nine hours of my day on it.

So many people could benefit from me sharing parts of my hardships, and there is a way to put yourself and your feelings out there without completely exposing your entire story. I'll go such a long time without posting if I don't feel my best self. Anytime i've had a pimple it will beat down on my self esteem that I won't take any photos. There was a period of time where I was going through something and gained weight I was completely MIA from social media. As the new year was arriving, I did use social media to find inspiration and motivation. It can help seeing others accomplishments or there journeys to accomplish their goals. The creators I love, adore, and watch constantly are what seems to be their most authentic self- they share their struggles, and how they got to where they are including the

Social media has lots of words of affirmation, positive quotes, or interesting think pieces. I also enjoy social media as a educational source or a way to gain new insights because I can learn more about the world from various perspectives. I capitalize off my social media use by spreading awareness or certain causes or or sharing positive posts. I use social media the most to share parts of my life and to communicate with friends. Social media is such a huge part of my daily life and the majority of others. From this course, I hope to improve my way of communicating via social media and understanding the depths and importance of communication and social media. Social media is a part of our world that has so many layers we are still discovering. At my age, i've been here for the entire rise of social media and have been an active member in the social media world. Watching it grow although incredible, is also terrifying and i'd like to be able to navigate its growth to the best of my ability.

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years

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Hello Goldy 💜 So JK dint post for Jin and so does Tae. Both of them di t post for Jinins bday also. Whats going on here ? I dont understand if JK and Tae have been banned from posting on their boyfriends bday. As u can tell i am both Jikook and Taejin shipper. What do u think is happening or should i say not happening.

This topic...

Hold on, lemme put on my tinfoil hat:

I got nothing. Lol.

Secondly, aaaaah Tae Kook!

Lol. Tae Kook. The evil power duo of BTS, my favorite rageddy boogie men of ship street Avenue, PPP- pathological party poopers of Bangtan fantasyland- stomping on shipper's parade, putting commas in people's hopes and dreams. Y'all didn't get the memo? When we said y'all be snatching hearts, this is not the kind of horror heart snatching we was talking about! Y'all ratchet for this shit. Lol.

Someone give them the memo. Atatatatatat.

Lmho.

I mean for Jk, I've already speculated a few times- several times now, how I feel he's kind off been on a self assertive journey since late 2019 and coupled with a lot of things I felt was happening with him, Jimin and group around that period, that him not posting for the members' birthdays sort of make a lot of sense to me.

I've also speculated on what I felt was going on with Kook, RM and Tae around JM's birthday this year, so Tae not posting for JM also sort of made sense to me?

Tae missed Jimin's birthday as well. It would have been 'problematic' in today's social media climate if he posted for any body else within the group after that. It's the same with JK when he missed Jin's birthday last December- had he posted for anybody else, I'm afraid several trucks would have been sent to BigHit HQ demanding his head on a spike. Chileee.

Can't blame them though. Even the members themselves, during 2017 Festa, descended hard on JK for gifting a present to Jimin and not the others- they pay attention to these things, you know? Jin in his recent VLive had said he had been up waiting for texts and all- or something along the lines of that, and I'm pretty sure he pays attention to who posts what on their Twitter account on his birthday. Well we know Jimin does this too. Lol.

You don't need to be a mad scientist to figure out that one member posting for another and not the others would make the members feel some kind of way about it even if they don't say it out loud.

Frankly, like I said, I feel they set themselves up for this shit- miss one, miss them all or risk solo stans coming for your ass. That's how we roll on these fang gang streets. Lol.

But for Kook, I sort of felt his was deliberate- may be an impulsive decision at the time, but deliberate nonetheless. I mean he had all 24 hours post Jin's birthday to belate that shit- better late than never, but he didn't do that.

Whatever had transpired within that period- which I've speculated on in past posts, I feel that had pushed him to his breaking point and had incentivized him or propelled him to reel back, reevaluate his goals, intentions, purpose, calling- whatever you wanna call it, and eventually had embarked on a journey to reassert himself and take back control of his life all throughout 2020- until recent times...

- Y'all see Jikook's dynamics have flipped again post Jimin's birthday right? Clear your schedules. We gone talk. Soon. Muhahaha.

I don said, Jikook have/had been asserting themselves against eachother and against the group this year. And for Jk, that self assertion would come in the form of him putting up boundaries and reinforcing already existing boundaries among other things, which would in turn require him demanding and demonstrating his independence from anything and anyone he had relinquished his self autonomy to- prior to. In my opinion.

I'm gonna step on a few toes here and regurgitate, JK didn't just take a step back from his life, he took a step back from Jimin as well, in my opinion- I can literally hear temperatures rising. Chilee. Lmho.

It's easy to lose yourself in the process of loving someone. And when you love this person more than you love yourself, in the thick of love, under heavy public and peer scrutiny, where you are being told to change this and that about yourself everyday and everytime as a prerequisite for being able to love this person you want within a group; then you are bound to end up with nothing but the total eradication of who you are at your core or at least a drift away from your true self and the expressions of it... Sigh.

I mean all the, 'try not to be so possessive, he's our friend too' 'operation neutralize Jikook' 'chilee, don't lean too much into him, this is an award' 'I've got Jimin, restrain Kook' 'oh I think you stared too long here' 'look away' 'you got him a present, why didn't you get us any' 'is that your heart eyes?' 'Tuck it away' 'why do you film Jimin a lot?' 'use this person, not Jimin for your GCF if you want the clicks' 'GCF in Tokyo? How about OT7 in wherever mate?' - all these little tweaks and adjustments he's had to make to his personality and his expressions of self in order to hide his relationship within the group climaxes honestly. In my opinion. And late 2019 to me was that peak for JK. Again, in my opinion.

Changes like these don't come drastically. They creep up on you. Its slippery slope till you're caught knee deep in the mud. For instance, notice when the members complained about him not caring for them because he hadn't presented them with gifts like he did Jimin, he had agreed immediately to give them presents in the future in order to not answer to their question of why he had chosen to give just Jimin a present. That compromise to me was one of the early signs of him losing his authenticity. In my opinion.

Jimin and the members were quick to point out that he didn't have to do that because giving and gifting were not obligations and honestly they were right. He doesn't have to do things if he doesn't want to.

That's the paradox of Jungkook. He does the things he wants to do without shame and he is fearless and unapologetic about it. But you see, he is also often very passive when it comes to the things he doesn't want to do and would hesitate in insisting on his boundaries until he is pushed to his limits- from my observation of his interactions with the members and I think Suga and RM have talked about this too.

A classic example of this is his conversation with Jimin about their friendship- when Jimin said they were in between love and friends. His hesitation was a sign he was uncomfortable with that description but he didn't assert himself over it.

Another example would be Jimin saying during their log that he was taking a liking to JK- JK didn't react as much but JM turning to ask him if he was ok with him saying things like that was a sign they had had the talk about 'boundaries.'

JK is a very assertive person but his position as the youngest within the group places a lot of restrictions on his assertiveness I feel.

We talk a lot about Jimin being Kumbaya and sacrificing a lot of their personal happiness for the good of the group- well, I've been talking. Y'all don't say shit much- fuxking lurkers 😒 y'all suck. Lol. [Delete before you post, you idiot. They don't know you like that]

Anywho, we often talk about Jimin in this context but we- by we, I mean I, don't talk enough about all the ways JK often sacrifices his authenticity for the Kumbaya of the group as well. But unlike Jimin, I feel JK does it so he can keep his glass closet- fucking whippidy whip whipped. Lol.

And it's crazy because that sacrifice he makes of his true feelings and it's expression is what often leads people to question whether he acts exclusively with JM at all.

Often I hear shippers complain about how he did this with Jimin but he did similar thing with another member- listen, if you've heard JK sigh upon seeing RM imitating his mannerisms to try to neutralize his nonverbal gestures around Jimin, you'd understand what exclusivity means for him.

And when, you think about that he had to apologize to and explain himself for choosing to wear his man's bag over another member- it's not hard to see where his authentic self began to erode- It started from the moment the apologies begun. Never apologize for who you are- class dismissed. Lol.

Then he goes on to talk about losing his passions for his GCFs, his music- this is a person everyone within the group had said is or was the most passionate member within the group... You gotta wonder where it all went wrong. Know what I mean? Come on work me. I'm writing this at 2am. Lol.

I think Jimin was right when he said giving should never be a task. You should give from your heart and from your own free will. Not for show, and certainly not to please anyone.

Wishing a member a happy birthday should never be a duty, task or obligation- especially when such moments and expressions of it has become performative over the years rather than as true expressions of the love and affections they have for eachother- ok, I'm dozing off now. Lmho.

I mean let's face it, posting on Twitter for eachother has become more of a culture and an established tradition within the group that sentimental members within the group hold on to.

The birthday twitter post has been hijacked and lowkey/highkey advances the OT7 kumbaya agenda BigHit is bent on pushing and sells the BTS bromance fantasy to us rather than an actual representation of their love for eachother. In my opinion. I could be wrong about this.

JK asserting himself would mean him choosing not to participate in expressions that to him are performative, shallow and lacks depth whatsoever.

I know what you are gonna say- but but Jimin's birthday. But but but nothing. Lol. I have said I felt he was going to post for Jimin's birthday. Dude geared up for it with the 5/8 and everything.

And given as he's been on a journey to do the things he wants to and to pursue meaning in his expressions of self within the group, I feel and I believe he believes wishing his man a happy birthday on social is meaningful- Confirmation bias this shit. Lol.

Not that the act itself is meaningful, but that the act holds meaning to Jimin. I think I've talked extensively about Jimin and how important his birthday is to him. The only reason I feel he wouldn't or didn't post for him was if Jimin had asked him not to- which I believe he did. Posting for Jimin would have been tantamount to outing their relationship gangster style. Lol.

And we all know how the members feel about that. Smirk.

So no, I don't think he's been banned from posting for his man's birthday. I think this is him deciding not to partake in performative expressions of love- perhaps because that has never been him?

I don't know for Tae's Journey. His decision not to post feels very random to me. Who knows, he and JK have been talking a lot lately it seems and getting closer post Sope. So if you ask me, this perhaps is him taking a page out of JK's self help book and pursuing that authenticity of self expressions I've talked about?

I mean he did do awesome things for Jin's birthday so I don't think we can complain much. Getting his friends to wish Jin a happy birthday certainly pulls weight over a second post on Twitter. Jin got a birthday party with the members, RM had the same.....

The thing that bothers me and my friends over here about Jikook's incident is the lack of closure after that traumatizing experience.

With the others JK didn't post for, at least we got to see him in a VLive with them interacting and just giving us moments here and there. So even if he didn't post, we know he was with them and they shared the memory of that day together- which I feel is what we shippers want. For them to show eachother love- whatever way they express it.

With Jimin- Nada. Zero. Zilch. We got nothing my guy. Jimin didn't share any insight or give any details remotely resembling closure for us. We were hoping for a bangtan bomb or Episode but nothing so far. I hate it here.

We didn't get to see JK showing the love we know he feels for Jimin- he's proven time and again he loves that man. We didn't get to see them share the memories of that day together. Not even through narration- Jimin, you sonova bish! Lol.

Would I ever move on from that incident? No.

Do I want to move on from that incident- chileee I've been trying. It would haunt me for the rest of my Jikook life. Lol. I still get get nightmares thinking about it and it's Christmas. Sigh.

I think we would have to observe rather than anticipate how they choose to express and communicate their love for one another- especially Jikook and by extension Taejin- chilee Anon, I respect your hustle. Lol.

I don't blame you though. I mean sometimes Jin be looking like he wants to gobb-ok

What was your question again? Lol. I hope I answered it. Chilee. Keep supporting Jikook.

Signed,

GOLDY

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fatbadjah · 6 years

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To those whom I’ve disappointed and to those to whom I am disappointing...

On Monday I demonstrated that common sense, good judgment, and I are not always the best friends. I learned about a social event that I was not involved in, and I felt hurt, left out, emotionally neglected and replied out of pain.

I hurt others in a moment of weakness, and for that, I apologize and ask forgiveness.

For me, one of the most iconic images of the 90s was a clip from Blind Melon’s “No Rain” video. In it, a little girl in a bee costume is ridiculed after a dance performance, and spends the song wandering the street…again facing derision and ridicule from strangers. Then, at one point in the song, she sees a gated field. In it, she sees others in bee costumes, dancing around. She pushes through the gate and joyously cavorts—having found “her” people.

I’ve come to define these moments of social connection “bee girl” moments. Most of us have them—especially in the furry fandom.

Like most, I was interested in anthropomorphic animals since I was a child. After reading The Wind in the Willows in third grade, I wanted to join that created family of Rat, Mole, Toad, and Badger. In the mid 80s, I saw Animalympics on HBO until I knew the songs by heart. Likewise, seeing Rock and Rule on the Movie Channel in early 1986 not only furthered my interest in anthropomorphics, but expanded my musical palate out a bit. I started collecting comic books in 1987, as quarter bins were bursting with remnants of the Black-And-White boom—many of which were anthropomorphic attempts to become the next TMNT. When I played role playing games or video games, I gravitated towards any animal-themed races, classes, or characters.

Frankly, I thought I was weird and the only one.

In December 1993, I saw a clip of an event called Confurence on the then-new Sci-Fi Channel (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iodRjbBKB0k). For the first time, I knew that there were others out there like me…that I wasn’t alone.

Florida State University, like many universities in the early 90s, restricted their student Internet access to engineering and computer science students. If you weren’t in one of those disciplines, the assumption was that you didn’t need to access the Internet. Of course, once I’d seen the Internet, that didn’t stop me. I’d learned a little UNIX trick that allowed me to access a raw Telnet in 1992, but I didn’t know what USENET was until January of 1994, when FSU began selling Garnet accounts to students—a basic Internet account with Telnet, email, a few other early 90s goodies, and USENET access. One Friday night, as I was diving through the sea of alt and soc groups, I found one called alt.fan.furry. The group was buzzing about an event called “Confurence” which was happening that weekend in Orange County, California.

I had my “bee girl” moment. I soaked up every zine I could find. Alt.fan.furry was my new hangout. I had an account on Furrymuck and explored more.

I felt like I belonged somewhere. I made a trip in January 1995 to Confurence Six and soon connected with virtual friends.

I wanted to get more involved. I wanted to give back. I didn’t want to just be a passive fandom participant. I put my art out there—though I knew I would be mocked and ridiculed for my lack of skill (I was). I started the first openly gay furry zine, Ten Furcent, in 1995.I published a comic book, Milikardo Knights, in 1997. In 1999, when Ed Zolna’s Mailbox Books folded, I was one of several who tried to open a zine distribution business to fill the void—mine having been Bronzebear Media. And in 2001, I founded Florida’s first furry con, Furry Spring Break, which folded after an internal coup in late 2001 and became an event you may be familiar with today.

Yet while most (sane and rational) people would have denounced the fandom and moved on, if not taken up ranks with folks like the Burned Furs (whose ranks were pretty much filled with fandom failures who could not adapt to the growing and changing nature of the fandom and began pre-Trump cries of “take back our fandom!”) and becoming toxic and bitter fandom saboteurs, I stayed in to help how I could. I involved myself with the staff of events like Mephit Furmeet, Furry Weekend Atlanta, and Midwest Furfest.

In 2011, I took a break. I finally realized after a social breakdown that I was grinding metal and stepped away. I’d moved to North Carolina in the wake of the Great Recession, and I decided to focus on my career. Thus, for years, I was the guy at the Triangle Area Furries meets who stood off to the sides and only chatted with one or two trusted friends, as I licked my metaphorical wounds from the 90s and 00s.

But I never quit, I never left, I never got bitter, and I never tried to sabotage the fandom. For me, furry fandom was my family. You don’t abandon family because of a few toxic relatives. Like the odd cousin at the family gathering, I just stepped away a bit because the obnoxious aunts and uncles had finally taken their toll.

In 2015, I finally got some forward motion on my career and returned to fandom activities, with MFF 15 being my first con back since 2010. In the summer of 2016, I thought about the fact that there were no cons or large “destination” events in or around Raleigh, in spite of the large community. I talked to an old friend, and in early July 2016, Tarpaw Furmeet was born. We staged a “practice” event in November 2016, which then gave way to events that grew in May and October of 2017. As they grew, we eventually had a staff, with whom I started to bond. People were friendly to me at the Triangle Area Furries events and actually started to talk to me.

I actually thought that I was “in,” but got blindsided by my social eagerness, as several of you now know.

To really get this, you need to understand a little of my history and romp through some trauma baggage. I was in a family with two emotionally abusive parents. I not only heard the constant barrage of how I was “not good enough” from both, but during their divorce, each specialized their skills by projecting their spousal loathing onto my brother and I.

My mother played the diehard Christian card, completely modernizing the “spare the rod, spoil the child” concept by making my brother and I draft up “contracts” that opened with “PAIN + FEAR = RESPECT” then laid out multiple violation clauses. Usually, the clauses in these contracts varied by my mother’s mood and often had a bad habit of doing so when she’d had a bad day at work.

My father, meanwhile, decided to simply deploy a forever-scarring tactical nuke on a school morning in early 1981. As my mother was helping my brother and I dress, my father came downstairs, looked at us all and said simply “bye guys, have a nice life” before walking out the door. We knew our parents were divorcing, so my brother and I spent five minutes trying to persuade him to stay—and by “persuade” I meant that my mother held one sibling while the other sibling laid behind the tires of Dad’s Corvette, then swapped places when she would pull the other one from behind the tires. A few hours later, when I had a hysterical breakdown in my third grade classroom, neither my teacher nor principal believed me. I was sent to the office, and the principal called my father’s office to follow up on the “lie.” Upon calling my father’s office, I was told that he’d flown to Acapulco to holiday with the women he was (then) leaving my mother for. My mother at least intervened to back up the “have a nice life” story, because I had to go home since I was a basket case. Dad came back tanned and whored, and acted like nothing had happened—not even an apology.

Since then, I’ve had a nagging fear of abandonment and all purpose fear of letting people get control over me. I’ve tried to address it by simply not letting people connect to me emotionally and living a life of fierce self-sufficiency. I’ve heard “aloof” pushed on to me so many times in my life, I’d have assumed it was my name if I didn’t know better. After all, I figure, everyone leaves me eventually…so why attach to them? Likewise, my other coping mechanism is to just quit when things turned bad—a trend in my early relationships. Imagine that Kermit/Dark Kermit meme: “Things going bad in the relationship… Bail on them before they get to bail on you!” I tried to not quit a spiraling situation once. I made the mistake of entrenching on Furry Spring Break when the coup’s instigator began to get out of control in mid-2001 and fought suicidal urges for most of 2002 once I’d been ousted.

I’ve been used to being left out of things. It was the hallmark of my adolescence. When it wasn’t a point-blank, mean girls style rejection (no seriously, I got “you cant sit here” in the school lunchroom), the reasons were a bit softer on the blow. “Sorry, we just didn’t think you were interested” or “Sorry but there just wasn’t enough room for you” were the popular go-tos.

Once, when I was fourteen, I let my guards down. My father went to the “country club” church in Flint Michigan, First Pres—the one where the shi shi white people went to escape the lower classes. One afternoon, I got a call from one of the students in “the Pipe,” their Wednesday night youth group. “Hey, can you come to the meeting tonight? We’d love to have you there!”

I was beyond elated. Someone called me to come out. They wanted me out there.Me, worthless, stupid me. When my father got home from work, I told him in no uncertain terms that I had to go to church that night, for the Pipe. When I got there, people were friendly towards me. Then the meeting started. Eventually, one of the leaders came out playing “Sasha Cashachek,” a taunting (yet Christian) Russian femme fatale (it was 1986. Russians and Iranians were stock bad guys then) who was gloating that the Pipe wouldn’t make their ski trip. Eventually, we stopped for snacks, and a few people came up to me during the break.

“So we know you like to ski, and we’ve got a big weekend ski trip scheduled to (some shi shi place I can’t remember) in a month, but we need a few more people to help pay for it! Want to come?”

I told them that I’d already booked with my high school ski club on a trip to Killington, Vermont, and my dad was tapped.

“Oh.” No one talked to me as soon as I’d announced that. Not even a “goodbye” when I left.

Remember that scene in “A Christmas Story” when Ralphie learns that Little Orphan Annie’s important “secret message” was nothing more than an Ovaltine ad? I got the 80s church group version of it.

When I said no to the ski trip, I went back to either being invisible in that church group every Sunday (I never went to another Wednesday night meeting), or I existed only when I wore or did something worthy of social mockery. I never got an invite back to the Pipe.… After that, I shut down. I stopped trying.

Given that I’d taken to emotional avoidance since late childhood, I was used to it. I took jobs in college that kept me working Friday and Saturday nights, so I didn’t have to worry about feeling slighted from collegiate social events, and I always had an excuse when people felt crazy enough to ask me to do something. And as an adult, I became a hermit who spent most weekends alone, playing video games or working. I never kept friends because I didn’t think friends wanted to keep me around. I feel emotionally uncomfortable when people press me into social conversation…unless I’ve been drinking or that weird cluster of neurons has fired that say “we can trust this person Lighten up, badger.”

But I thought that things were going differently in the Triangle. I felt my guards dropping. I didn’t feel that “fuck! Fly now! Flee, fatass! Get small or invisible!” reflex when I talked to people.

So on January 1, 2018, I became aware of a New Years party via Twitter. I saw friends names. I saw friends pictures. And I didn’t even know about it. In a split second, I was caught off guard.

And I felt stupid. I felt like I’d been left out. Knowing that people there were talking about con plans, I had fears of another Furry Spring Break style coup. But most importantly I felt worthless, like I did in childhood and adolescence because I wasn’t good enough to get invited. I felt like I’d made inroads, that people liked me and wanted me around, and I felt foolish for letting my guards down. It was like finding out that the people at the Pipe only wanted me there to make a ski trip happen, and threw me aside as soon as I couldn’t help them do it.

So I made a nudging reply that my invitation must have been lost. I later vented because I felt like all I was good for was making the con happen. Then the messages started piling in…

“No one owes you anything!”

And they were right.

And that was my mistake. I own that. No one has to be my friend, and no one owes me a damned thing. I had thought that because we had bonded as a staff, because we had broken meals together at staff meetings, that I was more important than I was in the collective zeitgeist —namely, that I’d finally gone from beyond being the “creepy” guy to someone that people actually wanted to know and interact with. Again, my mistake.

As our event has grown, I’ve been mulling over the #FurryOver30 hashtag from Twitter—the reaction to an ageist movement that suggested that anyone over 30 should leave furry fandom. As of 2017, I’d been a formal part of the fandom for almost 24 years, and at 45 years old, I’d more than outlived my socially-decreed “time” by the claimants standards. Likewise, as I was pulling locals together to build this event, I remembered a friend telling me recently that I’d been described to him as “creepy” by at least one local furry in the early ‘10’s, before I stepped forward to begin building things. Despite groups in fandom who told me I didn’t belong, I actually felt like I did here—like I wasn’t just “buying” my way in by making a convention happen in the area.

I had gotten a little comfortable and let my guards down. I had thought that I’d had my “Bee Girl” moment and found my community, and that being excluded from the party was a harsh reality check. So I got angry on Twitter. I apologize for any assumptions made, and I assure folks that I’ll maintain my social distance as I keep looking for my “bee girl” moment elsewhere in the fandom.

For four days now, the people I've hurt told me how I disappointed them. That happens a lot, believe me. Just ask my parents for the last fourty-five years, so it's nothing new. If this is your first time, I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm not always going to be able to be the unflappable badger, or an unmoveable rock. I'm broken. I've been broken most of my life, and for the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm on my way to being whole. Only to be reminded of just how very far I have to go. I'm not convinced I'll ever be whole? But I'm going to keep trying. And I'm hoping to keep trying with the those around me.

Once again, I apologize.

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dunyashas · 7 years

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so what are your full thoughts on inej? I'm one of those people who really relates to her and likes her a lot cause she's just not as MUCH as the others, you know? like jes was always like HAHA BULLETS & kaz HAHA PAIN & nina like HAHA GRISHA but inej was sort of different, her pov seemed to have the most contrast with how others saw her & i think thats the truest of everybody real, at least for me. No one is seen how they see themselves, i think. help me see the flaws, i want to know your pov

the short answer is that i don’t dislike inej, but she is one of my least favorites.

my full thoughts are that i’ve always been drawn to the exciting characters. i like characters that draw the plot forward, that jump into the heat of the battle. this is usually regardless of personality lmao: for anyone who’s read the gone series, they’ll understand when i say my favorite character is drake merwin. he’s a character who is always Doing Bad Shit. he doesn’t Stop. and most of the fandom will agree that he needs to stop, he’s killed so many favs and he’s generally an unlikable person. but he does things. he’s exciting. he’s a part of every fight, and he starts a ton of his own without being told to.

inej isn’t in as many fights as the rest of the crew, and what she is in, she’s not at the forefront, being badass with a gun or a cane or magic like the others. she’s in the background. in the shadows. and she doesn’t go off on her own. she generally does what kaz tells her to, and that’s fine, but it’s not my style. i’m interested in characters who don’t take orders or defy them.

another reason why i don’t love inej is her drive and romantic interest. inej has the makings of a great character, with motivations like finding her family, and hunting slavers. and some of her thoughts in chapters of her pov are about that. but most of her thoughts linger around kaz. inej’s character goes from being really cool badass part of the team to love interest for the leading male (sure, she’s still cool and badass, but notice how much more time she spends thinking about kaz and talking about kaz and talking to kaz rather than making plans to hunt down slavers or looking over maps trying to figure out how to get to her parents) now, i know a big reason why people like inej so much is because of the relationship she has with kaz. but a big book pet peeve for me is when the leading woman and the leading man fall in love. it happens in nearly every book, nearly every movie. it’s all around us. and it’s so predictable. you know what’s going to happen the second there’s a mention of the woman. it’s expected. think about how badass it would have been if inej and kaz would have been friends with nothing more at the end of CK. think about how big of a fuck you to media leigh bardugo would have been if there had been no romantic tension between the two characters. in a book full of breaking expectations and raising the bar for young adult literature, this would have just been the cherry on top.

but it wasn’t. we got the same side plot all young adult novels get: romance between the main characters. why do people love aroace katniss everdeen from the hunger games? the same reason i love inej without romance for kaz. because both of these badass leading ladies have better things to do than fall in love with the leading guy, and i think their storylines are better off without them.

it’s hard to write up a full answer of why i don’t care for inej because i really don’t dislike her. i don’t dislike any of the leading crows. but it’s inevitable that someone would be at the bottom of the list.

finally, i see how most people relate to inej the most. however i find myself relating more towards jesper out of the main cast. he’s being told to go to a university to pursue a career that he isn’t made for, all for the sake of money, money that he gambles away. i strongly see him as both my future where i want to be (in a happy relationship with someone of the same gender, living without ridicule, not having to work in a job he doesn’t want), and the future where i assume i’ll end up (away from home, without family, with an addiction, risking my life repeatedly for the adrenaline). plus, anyone who knows me knows me knows that my self-confidence levels are out of this world. 10/10, i’m a work of art. i would definitely have an open casket.

i hope this was interesting pov from someone who doesn’t love inej. of course, i don’t have a problem with anyone loving inej and i hope no one has a problem with me for not loving her. i wrote this out so the fandom could see another side of the argument. also, i hope this is coherent. i’m not even done with my morning tea yet, so i’m not fully awake. hope everyone has a great day 👌

talk to me abt soc!

#anon #answered #armor

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kendrixtermina · 7 years

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Rluai is the most common for INFPs, just saying.

I think I’ve already said everything that there is to be said on the topic, but I will adress this one ask because I believe it touches on a topic that I’ve only covered in passing on this blog so far.

BIg five vs. MBTI and possible correlations.

There is not actually that much data that correlates which results where commonly received by the same people (some forums and tumblr’s own eilamona have attempted surveys though these would be biased by tumblr’s distribution not being RL’s and the usual trappings of self-reporting)

Also, with the Big 5 having 2x2x2x2x2 = 32 categories and thus few people in every category, you would need huge sample sizes and methodical proceeding to get significant correlations. “The most” could mean anything from one percent point more than the others or “over half”; a simple tally is no statement about distribution, and even a strong distribution spike is not equivalency.

See, for example, how ISTJs correlate with enneagram. There is actually a clear distinct tedency with 90% of ISTJs being one of 3 types, but each of those (1, 6 and 5) accounts for roughly a third of those 90% so it would be idiotic to say that say, being a 6 means you must be ISTJ. What about non 6 ISTJs? What about 6s who are ISFJ?

So even if most RULAIs are INFPs, all that tells you is that tells you is that if you’re both, you’re in the majority. But to tell the probability that a RULAI is INFP or a given INFP is RULAI, you would need to know either how many of all total RULAIs are INFPs, or how many INFPs are not RULAIs.

I’m pretty sure I met some INFPs who were distinctly “E” (mostly 4w3s and/or soc-blinds) or “C” (chiefly 9w1s) for example, though I’d be surprised to find one who claims to be SCxxN.

It’s called “Bayes’s theorem” and one of the many examples why the world would be much better if basic logic and probability theory were taught in schools.

What more, much of what is out there on the correlating of mbti and big 5 is people trying to find some sort of equivalency between the systems, often based on a very dichotomous (and therefore, shallow) understanding of mbti that disregards the differences between them as independent metrics. See also “16 personaliies.org” and their attempt to add the neurotism metric (-A/T) which really just mucked up their test.

Often this is supposed top validate mbti by tying it to the much renowned and supposedly so stable big 5 system - but big 5′s supposed stability and consistency comes from being a much simpler, shallower system: It really is just a ranking of specific traits or the lack thereof on a dichotomous scale. You either are orderly and reliable (”conscientious”) or you aren’t. You can get assigned a percentage to represent stronger or weaker tendencies.

Big 5 asks you “are you X?” You tell it “yes/no/maybe” and then it gives you a profile saying you are indeeed “Yes/no/maybe” on the X scale, and that for each trait. That can be useful for some applications, like correlating those traits with lifestyle choices or opinions or screening people for very demanding jobs, but it is virtually useless for the purposes most typology is used for - such as self-development or communication.

It ranks you on a scale, but it does not really tell you anything you didn’t know before. It simply discribes, but doesn’t postulate any internal logic or structure - It doesn’t have explanatory or predictive power. It doesn’t elucidate your inner workings, does not tell you how to get along better with a given type. It simply measures wether you are good at five things (socializing, keeping calm, being organized, making others like you, keeping an open mind) or not. There’s no advantage to being “Egocentric”, “Unstructured” or “Non-Curious.”

Big 5 measures 5 independent metrics and the combination thereof, so “RULEI” (RUxEI supposedly most common for INTP) is would not be that different from RULAI, after all that’s 4 or 5 matching! The difference is simply that the person goes a little further in not needlessly pissing people off, especially if the preference toward “A” is only weak one.

Meanwhile, consider INFJ vs INFP. One letter apart. Sure there are many similarities but also many fundamental differences because it’s not just one letter: It means your valued functions are completely opposite. They will share traits common to all introverts, feelers and intuitives, but differ completely where functon-specific communication and reasoning differences are concerned.

You could label yourself as “INFx” because you’re unsure about your actual type but you can’t actually be “in-between” because unlike Big 5, MBTI is not a combination of 5 scales, but a discreet classificator.

The MBTI and all tests based on it as well as sister/branch theories like socionics are built upon the idea of the Jungian Functions, diffent distinct types of reasoning and information processing that CG Jung believed to have identified in the human mind. The system comes with the base axiom that you can have one of 8 dominant functions, and that’s it, and you’ve got to at least humor that idea for a while to assin yourself a MBTI type, and each function comes with a set of both likely (present often) and fixed (present always) traits that will be shared between the great majority of that functions. - which is what gives mbti more predictive and explanatory power.

Someone being “Unstructured” just tells you they’re not a great organizer; Someone being a Perceiver implies a great deal about their way of thinking and decision making, be it neutral good or bad, and if you knew if they’re SP or NP you could infer even more, not always hard predictions but certainly probalities.

Just from the definitations that both the 5 traits and the functions have by definition it figures that some combinations are more frquent than others (for the same reason that, say, an ISFJ core 8 sounds pretty unlikely) but that does not a hard equivalency make, especially since big 5 allows for twice as many possibilities.

The idea that you can just convert mbti letters to Big 5 letters as if the letters were all there were is fallacious.

Indeed

Some things do correlations:

R/S with I/E for obvious reasons/ pretty much by design. Intro vs extroversion is one of the most obvious differences in human personalities and hence where any metric to sort those would start.

But this is where it stops/ where things get weird or interesting depending on your PoV.

L/C shows a very weak correlation but is almost evenly split among T/F.

A/E shows some correlaton of A with F and E with T correlating with the stereotype of how Feelers are “generally nicer” but it’s not a hard

The oddest result is that intuitives are almost always Inquisitive but Sensors can be both and are evenly split overall with individual types having their own preferences. This isn’t just split among Si/Se lines as some stereotypes might suggest, ESTPs for example are very commonly Non-curious, but again, not always.

These traits also veer into what we might call morals so they would pose. If people were predisposed toward their morals and could not be convinced, if the were “hardwired” so to speak the whole idea of morality would be pointless, for with what authority would you “blame” someone for being close minded or a jerkif they’re just following their programing?, but it is equally pointless morality as a blackbox even though we are comming closer and closer to understanding the brain.

There’s also this tendency of treating anything we can detect as “organic” and everything we cannot as “mental”, a Soul Of The Gaps if you will (analoous to God Of The Gaps) but we know all mental processes are in the brain somehow, (because it can be destroyed by specific brain injuries, for example) so would explaining it all mean putting it all outside a person’s responsibility?

Hidden in there is the false assumpton that the biologically explicable is “permanent” and thats true of some parts but the strenght of nerve connections can be as temporary as the state of a computer.

Adding the problem that people do no sufficiently differentiate between facts and their interpretation. A fact is what is real regardless of what we think about it or wether we even know it. An interpretation is what a human think is ~means~ which matters only to humans.

Fact: The earth goes around the sun

Interpretation A: See humans? you are not special.

Interpretation B: See humans’ You’re not that bad. We get to participate in the “Dance of the stars”

(AThe latter was actually written by a humanist writer of Kopernikus’ own time. if the earth goes round the sun, it is not “down” (where hell is) or “up” (where god is) as many geocentric worldviews implied. “Up or down” becomes utterly meaningless with heliocentrism. )

Fact: The brains of Liberals and Conservatives show differences in scans

Interpretation A: The people are Conservatives or Liberals because of inborn characteristics

From this you could then derive corollary a) All politics is meaningless bullshit if we do not really “chose” it or c) Some politics is wrong, so some people (the ones you agree with) are better than others

Interpretation B: Peoples show differences because they are conservatives or liberals - the brain regions is how their opinion is “stored” and the media bubbles “train” them for characteristic reactions

Interpretation C: Some people are more suceptible to certan kinds of propaganda, we [correct opinion] must phrase our message so it reaches those who are easily misled so they don’t end up voting againt their interest. [Your opinion] is, after all, the best for everyone.

Of course interpretations can become invalid if they don’t account for additional facts. If they scanned children and they had those characteristics before they even know what politics is, B goes out the window - Meanwhile if you scanned people before and after their opinions changed and the corresponing brain regions changed, too, B might increase in likelihood

Another complicated factor is that people are more likely to see something as a neutral/preferential rather than a moral issue if they think it’s inborn.

A common anti-homophobia argument is “But it’s inborn!” which is used because it seems to convince a lot of people even though it has nothing to do with homosexual acts themselves. If we could all choose wether to screw men, women, enbies or no one at all, wouldn’t it still not be anyone else’s business if it harms no one?

by contrast, Once upon a time “orderliness/discipline” was regarded as a moral thing, hence the very word “concientiousness” but now we don’t as much and there are cultural differences (some midwestern americans see foul language as a “moral failing” (”Good christians don’t swear”) rather than simply inappropiate or rude. )

Plenty to discuss here.

But basically, Big 5 and mbti are not equivalent and work by different principles indeed attempts to treat mbti like big 5 have probably resulted in a lot of the less reliable tests out there.

#mbti #big 5 #typology

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fitnesshealthyoga-blog · 5 years

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New Post has been published on https://fitnesshealthyoga.com/how-to-expand-your-online-nutrition-business/

How To Expand Your Online Nutrition Business

As a certified nutrition professional, you positively impact people’s lives in many ways. Working as a sole proprietor means doing all the jobs: accounting, marketing, advertising, customer service, and delivering the services. With so much work to do, growing and expanding can prove to be a challenge. Don’t lose sight of your passion and why you became certified. Once you have the basics of starting your business covered, read on for how to grow your online nutrition business.

Make a plan

A business plan is a living document, which means you need to actively engage with it and adapt it as your business grows. So, even if you already wrote a business plan when you were starting your business, take it out and tweak it. If you haven’t written one yet, now is as good a time as any to get started. Even as a sole proprietor, having a business plan in place has many benefits.

More than only a brand statement, a thorough business plan also includes some market research and business goals. Properly researched and written, it will help you establish your purpose, focus your goals, and define your competition in addition to your ideal clients.

A typical business plan includes a brand statement, a description of the business, a description of you as the sole proprietor, including your training, education and credentials, personas of your ideal clients, a description of your competition, a menu of services with rates, your projected expenses and profits and other financial details, and your overall business outlook. Try this template from the American Nutrition Association as a starting point for crafting and updating your business plan.

Set SMART goals

Working as a nutrition professional, you surely know the benefits of setting goals. As a business owner, it’s just as important to set goals for yourself. Make sure your goals are SMART:

Specific: the details matter; make sure your goals are narrowly defined and specific enough that you know exactly what you’re after and you’ll know exactly when you’ve achieved them.

Instead of saying, “I will increase my client base,” or “I will earn more money,” set goals that describe exactly how many clients you will have or how much money you will earn: I will take on six new clients per quarter for my full service package or I will earn $10,000 a month in profits by second quarter.

Measurable: how will you know when you’ve reached your goal? You want to be able to measure your progress. In the specific goal examples above, you will know you’ve met your goal when you have six clients per quarter or are earning $10,000 per month in profits.

That does not mean you cannot have qualitative goals, like wanting happier clients. It does mean that you’ll need some way to measure that happiness. Perhaps you’ll implement pre and post surveys for your clients and set a goal of a percentage of your clients finishing their work with you feeling a certain level of happiness, or increasing their happiness by a certain amount. For example, you could ask your clients to rate their happiness from 1-10 at the start of their work with you and then at the end of their work with you, and aim for an increase of 2-3 points.

Attainable: be realistic in setting your goals, or else you might set yourself up for disappointment. While there is nothing wrong with thinking big—in fact, do think big!—break those giant sized goals down into smarter goals and you will chip away at that big goal more effectively.

Also be realistic about what you are capable of achieving with the resources you have. Understand that some goals you set might mean working more hours or hiring out some of the work so that you can reach those goals and expand your business without losing your personal life.

Relevant: this is your business, so make sure the goals are important to you. Do you really want your business to be a certain size or help a certain population? If so, great! But if you don’t want to be Instagram famous with your business or write a book or have a blog, you can be successful without those goals. Be successful on your terms, and make sure your business goals are relevant to you and where you want to take your business.

Time-limited: set realistic timeframes and deadlines for achieving your goals. If you don’t, you risk not having anything else to hold you accountable. Don’t be too stringent, but do set some deadlines to keep you motivated to achieve.

Automate your workflows

When you first start out as a sole proprietor, your fears are in not getting enough clients. As your client base grows, you fear not having enough time to send invoices and increase your cash flow. This problem is a great one to have! It’s also an indication that it might be time to automate some processes. Try finding the jobs you can give to software programs and apps, and pay for them. Investing in these automations can help you spend more time with your clients.

Consider your process, and if you don’t have a streamlined process, get one! From first touch, that very first moment a client is introduced to you or your brand, through completion of their program with you, what is your process of engaging with them? Consider investing in programs that track marketing leads, automate email marketing flows, track your expenses, automatically schedule different types of meetings or calls, and automate client experience emails, like follow ups, feedback, and progress charts. Create as many templates as you can, while still preserving moments for personalization and connection in your client communications.

Also consider your personal life. Automating workflows in your personal life can help you carve out more time for work and more time for play when work time ends. Maybe you want to hire cleaning services, invest in meal preparation services, hire landscapers, or automate some of your personal accounting. With so many duties and responsibilities as a sole proprietor, your work can easily creep into your personal life, especially as you grow and work increases.

Build your online presence

Make your online content work for you, not make more work for you. Take an inventory of what lines of communication you have and include your website and all social media accounts and any professional networking profiles. Look at each line’s activity and determine which channels are your top performers. Also consider which platforms are easiest for you to work on. For example, perhaps you love taking photos and videos, and so it’s no coincidence that your Instagram account brings you the most engagement. Or, maybe you are a great writer and great at making quick videos, and your blog and youtube channel drive most of your engagements.

Create your content ecosystem by making other channels flow into your top performing channel; direct your traffic to where people are most likely to engage and purchase your services. Continue to invest in that top performing channel. Try signing up for free webinars and learning how to maximize your effort from that channel. Also reuse content; make your content for your top performing channel, and lightly adapt it or auto post it to other channels using a third party app.

Plan and schedule your content to automate as much as possible, but do not forget that social media performs best for you when you keep it social. Make sure you take the time to sincerely engage with your followers.

Try making videos. It might be uncomfortable to see yourself on video at first, but video is proving to be the top performing content. The good news is that your video does not have to be super edited or top quality; informal daily videos showing what you do are incredibly valuable to potential clients and supporters. Take a video, show it to your closest friends, as for tips and pointers, and reshoot it. Eventually, you’ll get better and get your clip on the first take. If you really don’t like watching yourself, skip the viewing, go straight to feedback from others, and reshoot until they say it’s good to post.

Hire out real humans

Automated flows are fantastic and can be a tremendous help to streamlining your work process, but sometimes, you really need a human for the job. From help with marketing research to rebranding, writing content, accounting, and social media management, there are times when the best option is to hire someone else to do the job for you.

Working for yourself is wonderful, but it does not mean you have to like all aspects of the job or be good at all of them. Perhaps you dread certain tasks, do not know enough about others, aren’t very good at them, or you need to hire a certified professional, such as an accountant or lawyer. As you grow, understand that you do not have to do all the work yourself, and that hiring someone else to do the work means just that—you are growing!

Collaborate and build partnerships

Perhaps you’re ready to add another revenue stream, like a product, but do not want to go it alone. Or maybe you want to have help developing business. One step down from hiring someone is to form a collaboration or partnership. Look for professionals whose businesses complement your own and strike up a relationship with them.

As an online nutrition professional, look to build relationships with gyms, fitness centers, doctors and other business owners whose clientele compliments yours. Propose referral relationships and help each other garner business. You can co-write online content, advertise together, and send clients to each other. Explore what your options are and come prepared to talk business deals. You might be surprised by how willing other business owners are to help you grow.

Think big

It might be time to invest in some advertising and boost your publicity. Consider purchasing advertising in local print media and online media. Research how to create your own social media ads or hire a professional to manage these accounts. Write press releases that you can immediately publish to your website and social media and pitch to local news media.

If you aren’t sure what to include in a press release, don’t forget to celebrate the small things. Open for one year? Achieve a goal? Have a story to share about your business? Make yourself a part of your community by telling people your story and showing them about your business. Don’t think you are too small to be newsworthy.

Achieve big

Starting your business might have been exciting and terrifying all at the same time. Taking that leap into working for yourself, even if only part time, was a big accomplishment. Recognize that you are a successful business owner and continue growing and expanding your business strategically and on your terms.

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#healthcare news usa #latest health news usa #us public health news #Fitness Training

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writersriot · 7 years

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The Outsiders Queer Subtext ft. Jally - Part 16

Sunday, March 19, 2017

So this is an interesting moment that happens after Pony recaps Johnny’s attack by the Socs. Pony tells us about one of the only instances of Johnny’s interaction with girls. I find it fascinating, hence my long ass rambling.

We went back and watched the movie through again. Marcia and Two-Bit were hitting it off fine. Both had the same scatterbrained sense of humor. But Cherry and Johnny and I just sat there, looking at the movie and not talking. I quit worrying about everything and thought about how nice it was to sit with a girl without having to listen to her swear or to beat her off with a club. I knew Johnny liked it, too. He didn’t talk to girls much. Once, while Dallas was in reform school, Sylvia had started hanging on to Johnny and sweet-talking him and Steve got hold of her and told her if she tried any of her tricks with Johnny he’d personally beat the tar out of her. Then he gave Johnny a lecture on girls and how a sneaky little broad like Sylvia would get him into a lot of trouble. As a result, Johnny never spoke to girls much, but whether that was because he was scared of Steve or because he was shy, I couldn’t tell. (Pg 35)

Okay, so I still ship Two-Bit and Marcia, lol. Pony also says that after this incident Two-Bit gave Pony the same lecture about girls, telling him stories that made him want to crawl under the floor, which I find hilarious and totally fitting of a thirteen/fourteen-year-old boy. Two-Bit and Steve looking out for the younger guys in the gang is everything.

Anyway, onto the main part that I adore. We know Johnny is shy, and especially shy of girls because Pony tells us so. He thinks this behavior could be due to his nature or due to Steve’s lecture that basically scared him off of most girls. I think it’s due to Johnny’s shy nature in general despite the fact that he doesn’t seem all that shy during the whole drive-in movie scene, which I’ve mentioned. He’s more than willing to make conversation with the girls, especially after he and Pony know it won’t be about hooking up with them. Like, that’s just so telling to me.

I’m more willing to chalk up all of this avoiding girls to a shy nature than Steve’s lecture, as intimidating as that might have been. Though in my subtext reading as I’ve said before, I would say that’s likely indicative of Johnny’s disinterest in girls in general, even if he didn’t know what that could mean at the time, for being homosexual. Since in the 60s it would not have been discussed enough to necessarily be an obvious conclusion for him to come to regarding his own feelings.

But you know what? Johnny is 16, only a year younger than Dally at 17, whose girlfriend was hitting on him. The way everyone in the gang treats Johnny like he’s so much younger than them that he needs to be taken care of is interesting. I know it’s due to Johnny’s abusive home life, and the gang wanting to protect him. And they would accordingly want him to be careful with girls because he might not know better if he’s so inexperienced. But he’s older than Pony at 14 yet he’s almost treated on the same level as a kid by everyone else in the gang.

And yet, Sylvia, who is likely to be about 16-17 as well is said to run out on Dally constantly, pretty much any time Dally is in jail or reform school or wherever. I find it fascinating that out of all the boys in the gang, though, Sylvia would try something on Johnny. Like, he is such the polar opposite of Dally, why did she choose Johnny? I mean, Soda and Steve are near the same age but they both have girls. Two-Bit and Darry are the oldest, and Two-Bit usually has a girl or picks up one, while Darry strikes me as too fucking busy holding his life together. So it’s entirely possible that Johnny is the only single one to make a pass at.

But was Johnny even interested in Sylvia? Or did he just let her hang onto him because she was Dally’s girl at the time? Because the way it’s presented, I’m assuming it’s the latter. Johnny admires Dally, so he would probably respect Sylvia simply for being his girl. He might not even think anything of it when Sylvia hangs out with him. Johnny probably wouldn’t even understand why a girl would run out on someone like Dally because Johnny’s sweet like that.

I mean, even in a situation like this with another guy’s girlfriend flirting with him, where Johnny would probably usually be blamed, Steve immediately knows Sylvia’s trying to take advantage of his good nature. I don’t even know if Dally would have blamed Johnny if he found out. Did Dally ever find out?? Probably not. I wouldn’t want to be Steve telling Dally about Sylvia’s escapades lol. I doubt he would have gotten back with her if he knew what she tried on Johnny.

So anyway, I don’t believe Johnny was genuinely interested in Sylvia as more than being Dally’s girlfriend at the time. But it gets me that Sylvia would choose Johnny especially when he is physically and temperamentally the opposite of Dally. This aspect has a lot to do with my theory of Johnny and Dally being counterpoints and mirror foils, who though fundamentally opposite run parallel to each other.

Sylvia is a point of contact between Dally and Johnny. Her place in the story is something I see a lot, and I’m not sure what it would be called as a literary device. Or if it even has a name, or if I’m just making up shit again haha. But usually I see it in love triangles or something similar, where two characters are parallels and opposites with a potential to be together, and a third character comes that connects them both in a different way. I don’t know how to explain it better, and I’ll see if I can find examples of this in other media in the future. If someone knows what I’m talking about, help me out lol.

But when someone like Sylvia is interested in Johnny, the mirror to Dally, it only increases the comparison and connection between the two boys. The way Sylvia shows an interest in both Dally and Johnny (no matter what her motivations may have been) she becomes a kind of parallel or representation of their own feelings toward each other. Like a romantic go-between, if you will. Dally is dating Sylvia, who then shows interest in Johnny despite not being at all like her boyfriend and actually probably valuing her boyfriend more than she does. Sylvia becomes this interesting point of connection for Dally and Johnny’s feelings regarding each other.

It’s similar in the way that Cherry becomes a parallel of Johnny’s feelings for Dally, Sylvia becomes a parallel of Dally’s feelings for Johnny. Not to disregard Cherry and Sylvia as characters, which I know often happens to women characters when two men are paired together. That’s not my intention at all because I love Cherry and we really don’t know anything about Sylvia, so I can’t hate on her (other than her apparently being a cheater). These character parallels are simply something I often see in media, especially when the subtext is queer in nature.

That opposing gender characters end up being romantic parallels for the queer characters, who are often mirrors/foils to each other. I don’t know that many creators realize they are doing this, but I see it. And it happens with many relationship types whether m/m, f/f, or m/f or whatever. Again, I’ll try to remember other examples of this, and if anyone else knows what I’m talking about here, feel free to chime in because sometimes I think I’m the only one who sees this type of stuff without having a name for it. Someone help me lol.

So what do you guys think of Johnny’s almost non-existent interest in girls (who aren’t dating Dally lol)? Just him being shy? And what about Sylvia being a potential romantic parallel for Dally and Johnny?

Until the next part~

#it's almost 2am #again lol #oh well #outsiders queer subtext series #jally #johnny cade #dallas winston #the outsiders #se hinton

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funkymbtifiction · 2 years

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Why do you think the BHE crew + their fb group gatekeep 4s and soc-blind stacking so much? I understand that 4s and soc-blind users are less frequent than other types and instincts, but I don't know. The only avowed core 4s are two mods and the ex-SO from one of them. And the only collages typed as sx/sp in their ig account are by, again, two mods and the ex-SO again. There are some, but very, very few, whom have being typed as sp/sx. This, for me, is weird because according to their own literature is the three more common stacking, being sp/so and so/sp the more frequent. But, instead, there are tons of people being typed as sx/so, the least frequent (according to their site). I don't know, some things feel weird.

One could argue that soc-blind users don't tend to lingers in typology communities due their lack of needing to... well, connect. But, then, at least four of them have stated that they actually meet through typology forums. How can the mods be social blind and still building a huge community? It didn't happen by accident, they put effort on the site, the fb group, the pod... I don't know if I am making sense here.

I think the 4 thing and the social stacking thing are separate issues; one potential reason for them not typing many 4s or 4-fixers is that 4s don't ask for help. They are withdrawn types, which means they are self-reliant and not as inclined to ask for someone to tell them who they are -- they are busy projecting and cultivating who they are, every minute of every day. The one "for sure" 4 I know would never ask anyone else to tell her what her Enneagram type is -- but if you showed her a 4 description (not a 9-as-a-4 "happy" 4, but a real one) she would completely identify with feeling like a broken alien who got stuck here in a world where nobody understands her. It's similar to why so few 5s get typed -- they also don't ask for help as much. But the attachment types (3/6/9) want help the most, because they feel confused, may relate to multiple types (especially if 9, who "sees themselves in a lot of numbers"), and need others to affirm their evaluation; they also get "attached" to whatever type they think they are and can be defensive about it, since they are attaching to and using that type as a projection of "identity."

The second possibility is that tritype is not only nonsense and irrelevant, but a way to confuse the issue, explain away all inconsistencies, and make a wrong typing fit -- the ability to say "oh this person doesn't relate to this number, but that's just cuz of their second fix." IE, "I am a 4 with a 9 fix, so I don't broadcast my sense of alienation or negativity in order to keep others happy." Nah, you are just a 9 if that's the case. Actual 4s are frustration/reactive types, there is no repression -- repression is the realm of the 9.

Regarding the stacking issues... well, Emeka doesn't update the Instagram account that much, does he? I wouldn't know; I don't do most social media. The explanation might also be that social blinds wouldn't see the point of submitting collages (who cares what others think of me; I don't need their feedback) and that social-users are more inclined to share a lot of collages / make a lot of them, as a way to connect to others.

Joseph started the Facebook page -- he's a social-dominant; but I don't think most of the soc-blinds interact on social media much. But yes, they are building a following -- as a source of revenue (sp), because they want paid (a lot) to tell you who they think you are, based entirely on visual typing. They have assumptions about how certain types act, take photos, dress, what they put on their Instagram pages, and present themselves, and type you and/or celebs based off these things rather than internal motivations or core desires. If you wrinkle your forehead a lot, or are visually facially expressive, you are a 6, etc. They look at your Instagram page to see what stacking you are, then they watch your video on mute to visually type you, and then having decided what type they think you are, they listen to your video to see if what you say confirms their assumption.

If you feel something is "off" about them, use your discernment. Trust your instincts. Question everything you learn from them, to see if it makes rational sense. If it doesn't (such as "most people are sp/so, but we have mostly sx/so collages in our Instagram"), then take note of that inconsistency and use it going forward in being skeptical and seeking more evidence. If something seems wildly off, don't trust it.

#question #enneagram #enneagrammer

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terabitweb · 5 years

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Original Post from SC Magazine Author: Doug Olenick

What’s in a Brain?

In my previous blog [CS(1] , I explored how we should approach automation using the Triune Model of the human brain. I broke down how many view our metaphorical brain in three key functional parts: the lizard, the dog, and the primate. I explained how each of those areas function and how they mirror our digital businesses goals. Just in case you need a quick refresher: The lizard section handles autonomic functions like heartbeat and respiration. Artificial intelligence (AI) and machine learning are similar to this portion, providing your business with automated, but rigid security measures. The dog section is in charge of “feelings” which act like a form of currency for what we should remember. People like those in your SOC or other key security roles are like this portion, working alongside the automated processes to ensure effective and well-informed security decisions. The primate section is responsible for the development of language, reasoning, and the ability to learn from mistakes. Business leaders are like this portion, processing the actions of the other two sections and using what they learn to improve overall performance.

This time, I’ll be looking at the role each of these parts play when it comes to creating an effective, highly efficient, highly secure, and well-automated ecosystem.

The Role of the Lizard in 2019

As I write this in 2019, I still feel we need to treat even the most intelligent of computer AI as the lizard portion of the brain. Yes, it can deal with machine-scale problems, but we need to bring those machine-scale problems down to a human-scale, understanding they are of little use to technical and business leaders without proper context. Making sense of data is square in the domain of human understanding. At the end of the day, we want to make sure that the person behind the console understands why a security alert was triggered and help them resolve that security issue.

I was careful to specify 2019 because machines will evolve over time and will figure out how to supplement the dog and likely even the primate sections of our model. But for now, I think it is safe to treat machine-based decision making and automation like the lizard portion of the brain and all its qualities (compulsive, obsessive, rigid, etc). This simple realization allows you to use it more effectively and sidestep applying it in areas that could be ineffective or detrimental.

Criteria for Automation

So, when and where should you use AI and ML to improve your security? Let’s look at three key criteria for applying automation.

Automate actions that are deterministic in their outcomes and that are internal to the system. When your automation is based on an observation, automate with near equal or greater precision as the observation. Rarely can you generalize the action to take and not end up with collateral damage. For example, if you have a host at a branch that is misbehaving, automate the mitigation of that particular host and not the entire branch. Conversely, if you have evidence of an application misbehaving, taking action at the IP address level might adversely affect business-critical applications on that same IP address.

Automate what is routinely and frequently executed – or as much of it as can safely be automated. Let the machines act as the lizard part of the brain while you, the business owner, play the role of the dog and primate knowing what is good or bad for the business and applying human reasoning to adapt to any necessary changes.

For all those machine-scale problems, automate them to bring them down to human scale so that you can appropriately orient yourself into better decisions and actions. We often think of automation just being action oriented, but I would argue that in this day and age, more automation is applied just to bring internet scale data sets down to a human scale dimension so that our mental models can make informed decisions. We want to automate those actions which are frequent, require the least latency, are deterministic in their outcome, and can adapt to environmental factors like threats.

Conclusion

While AI and machine learning will certainly evolve with time, they’re not a one-size-fits-all solution for all your automation needs. Just like how the lizard portion of the brain needs the dog and primate portions to function at full capacity, automation also requires the right amount of the human touch, both at the SOC level and C-Suite level, to truly be at its most effective. By using AI to bring machine-scale problems to human scale, the less stringent and creative minds working alongside your automated processes can apply human reasoning and rationale for a more comprehensive, secure, and highly effective digital business ecosystem.

The post Evolve security automation like the human brain: Part 2 appeared first on SC Media.

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Go to Source Author: Doug Olenick Evolve security automation like the human brain: Part 2 Original Post from SC Magazine Author: Doug Olenick What’s in a Brain? In my previous blog…

#SC Magazine

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droneseco · 5 years

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Piper Raspberry Pi DIY Computer Kit Review (and Giveaway!)

Our verdict of the Piper Computer Kit STEM Learning Toy: If you're looking to kickstart your child's STEM skills, this Raspberry Pi-powered, Minecraft-centric, feature-packed learning kit is a great option, although it is a bit pricey.910

The Raspberry Pi is a great educational device, but in its bare-bones state this might not be immediately obvious.

Several companies have attempted to “fix” this shortcoming, repackaging the Pi as part of a more STEM-focused experience for children. They’ve managed it with varying levels of success, so what does Piper bring to the table?

youtube

The Ultimate DIY Computer Building Experience?

Well, this is more than just another Raspberry Pi and keyboard. The Piper describes itself as a “computer kit” and there is certainly a bit building involved to get this Raspberry Pi up and running.

Piper Computer Kit 2 - Teach Kids to Code - Hands On STEM Learning Toy with Minecraft: Raspberry Pi (New) Piper Computer Kit 2 - Teach Kids to Code - Hands On STEM Learning Toy with Minecraft: Raspberry Pi (New) Buy Now on Amazon $249.00

The website is full of endorsements from users and even Apple founder Steve Wozniak enthusing over the Piper Computer Kit, which it claims is the “ultimate D.I.Y. computer-building experience.”

You’ll no doubt agree that this is a lofty claim.

However, the Piper Computer Kit has support from Stanford University, and was a Tech Toy of the Year 2018 finalist. It aims to teach your child the necessary critical thinking, engineering skills, electronics knowledge, foundation programming, and hands-on coding.

All in all, it seems like a little more than a Raspberry Pi in a wooden box. To find out if this is the case, I enlisted the help of my seven-year-old son.

Unboxing Contents

The Piper Computer Kit ships in a standard cardboard box. It features a nice optical illusion on the side as you remove the main box from the sleeve—turning cogs. When the packaging is this good, you never quite know whether the product is going to disappoint or be awesome…

Initial impressions are drab in many ways. It’s basically a box full of wood, with a Raspberry Pi 3 even mounted on a plate of wood.

In fact, there’s wood everywhere.

In the 21st century, you might think “this is no place for wooden computers; it’s not 1977” and in many ways you’d be right.

However, the 7-inch display, mouse, breadboard (and two smaller ones), and brass fittings all fit together nicely, giving you:

a closable wooden case with the display embedded in it

a Raspberry Pi computer with access to the GPIO pins

a mouse (no keyboard)

a breadboard for mounting buttons, LEDs, etc

a battery

In short, it’s exactly what it says: a computer kit. Designed for children to build, it even features an impressive set of instructions presented as a blueprint.

About the Raspberry Pi

Several versions of the Raspberry Pi have been released since 2012, and almost all of them continue to be available. This is due to their suitability for a range of purposes.

The Piper Computer Kit ships with the Raspberry Pi 3 Model B. This model was released in 2016 and features onboard wireless networking and Bluetooth. With four USB ports and an Ethernet port, there is also a standard HDMI connector, multipurpose TRRS audio/media port, and a USB power connector.

Inside the Raspberry Pi 3 you’ll find a quad-core 1.2Ghz processor, 1GB of RAM and a Broadcom GPU. These are combined into a single SoC (System on a Chip) to save space and make the computer more efficient.

A microSDHC slot is also provided, which is where the operating system loads from. The Piper Computer Kit features the Piper OS preinstalled on an 8GB card. This should be inserted into the Raspberry Pi before the computer is screwed into the box.

Also in the box is a 7-inch LCD HDMI display, a USB mouse, a portable Lithium battery, and a speaker. You’ll also find the various USB and HDMI cables needed to hook everything up, and plenty of switches, buttons, wires, and LEDs.

What Can You Learn With This?

It could be argued that the Raspberry Pi’s potential for educating young children has never been fully realized. Fortunately, Piper has proved that all that is needed is the right set of peripherals, components, and a battery pack.

Aimed at STEM/STEAM students aged 7-13, the Piper Computer Kit should improve science, technology, engineering, art, and math. These are the most important elements of learning in many western schools currently, due to shortcomings in these fields.

On a practical level, this means putting together circuits, playing a Minecraft-based game, and solving math and logic puzzles.

If that wasn’t enough, your child will gain some useful insight into how to construct a wooden computer case. In fact, working through this stage will help foster an engagement with the computer like you have never known before…

Building the Piper Raspberry Pi Computer

Time for some honesty; the Piper isn’t an easy build. My son Bruce is nearly 8, and the kit is aimed at 7-13-year olds. As such, there was some initial difficulty getting started.

Bruce is adept at Lego, Meccano, and other construction toys, so the principle of interlocking wooden components, screws, and nuts was not alien to him. After some early friction regarding the approach (blueprint or no blueprint?) he was able to establish a good rhythm, with dad standing by for assistance.

It took about two hours to build the breadboard box, bottom half of the case, and the lid. That’s not too bad going; I reckon the entire build was around three hours from start to finish. It’s easy to go wrong with an excited young engineer desperate to get his computer up and running, however.

Hopefully we both learned the importance of following the blueprint.

Certainly, once the screen was fitted into the lid, and the Raspberry Pi secured, it wasn’t long before the Piper was booted up. That’s when the real magic begins…

Booting Up and Getting Started

If the Piper battery is charged, you’ll be able to boot up the computer. Curiously, this is the only option; you cannot use the USB cable to power the Raspberry Pi and display. As such, it pays to keep the battery topped up overnight.

Once booted, you’ll see the Piper desktop environment and a video demonstrating what can be done with the device. At this stage, the computer needs connecting to your wireless network, which should be done via mouse.

It’s wise to check for updates before proceeding. Once this is done, the Raspberry Pi is rebooted and the journey begins…

Meet Piperbot

The Minecraft element of the Piper Computer Kit is based around the adventures of Piperbot. This character and his friends are initially voiced by what seem to be children, which does seem to devalue the proceedings somewhat.

Whoever controls the Piperbot gets to embark on the missions, which begin with basic movement using the mouse. A few minutes later, however, and Piperbot is gaining some additional mobility thanks to the GPIO, breadboard, buttons, and connector wires.

Some kids might fly with this; however, Bruce ran into trouble. We found that accidentally clicking the mouse too many times exited the on-screen guide to connecting the breadboard to the Pi. Fortunately, it wasn’t the end of the world as the guide view (still within the Minecraft world) could be revisited.

Essentially what you have after the first 30 minutes is a button-based “wooden” game controller, with additional controls created on a per-mission basis on the smaller breadboards.

Electronics for Kids

Any child lucky enough to receive the Piper Computer Kit will have a whole world of electronics open to them.

Not only does the project box require building from scratch, the projects (which can be enjoyed individually as well as in the story mode) aid in the understanding of creating simple circuits and connections.

But what has Bruce learned from the experience of building and continuing to use his Piper Raspberry Pi? He tells me that he enjoyed building the box the most, and fitting everything together. But he also thought that being able to build his own controller was awesome, and likes making the various switches.

At 7, he’s at the younger end of the Piper target audience. As such, Bruce needed some encouragement and guidance in places, but ultimately enjoyed it.

And he’s absolutely opposed to sharing the Piper with his twin sister…

A Piper for Every Home and Classroom!

Reviewing the Piper Computer Kit, I thought giving it to my son to work through was the best option. But when I saw the blueprint, the wooden box components, the interlocking teeth, and the Raspberry Pi, it dawned on me just how awesome the kit is.

In short, it’s everything I would have wanted from a computer 30 years ago.

Since putting the Piper together, Bruce has split his time equally between the sandboxed Minecraft on his tablet, and the adventure on offer in his self-built little computer. Solving puzzles with wires and switches is proving a challenge that he relishes, and he’s loved every moment with the device.

Forget tablets and Chromebooks. If you want to get your children familiar with technology, start with the Piper Computer Kit.

Enter the Competition!

Piper DIY Computer Kit Giveaway

Read the full article: Piper Raspberry Pi DIY Computer Kit Review (and Giveaway!)

Piper Raspberry Pi DIY Computer Kit Review (and Giveaway!) published first on http://droneseco.tumblr.com/

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healthandfitnessrecipes-blog · 6 years

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4 Ways to Support Your Trans Clients Pre- and Post-Op

https://healthandfitnessrecipes.com/?p=8148

Our clients come from diverse communities with varying needs and rich backgrounds. We may not always know how best to support them in their journey to wellness. In this article, I hope to specifically address the ways in which you can support your trans and gender nonconforming clients. Educating yourself on working with trans and gender nonconforming individuals will not only benefit your business but also your clients’ lives.

Being an advocate for underserved communities is a lifelong passion of mine. I have had the privilege of serving members of the LGBTQIA+ community as well as folks in larger bodies virtually my entire time as a coach. By sharing some of my experience and things I’ve learned along the way, I hope this information supports you in your work as well as your personal life.

The more you learn and practice being an effective support person, the more you’ll notice how truly needed you are.

Depending on where you live and how diverse your area is, you very well may be the only service provider your client encounters who has any competency whatsoever working with gender diverse clients.

1. Update Your Intake Forms

Language is important — the terms you use on your forms as well as your conversational terminology absolutely need to be in alignment with your clients’ terminology. If you haven’t already updated your forms to include trans-inclusive language, now is the time.

For example: are you currently asking your clients their “sex” or “relationship status?” If so, why?

Consider what it is that you’re hoping to learn by gathering this information. Instead of asking about one’s “sex,” try asking for their pronoun* instead. While “gender assigned at birth” is the preferred terminology for “sex,” remember that if you’re not directly working with an individual’s sex organs, you don’t need this information.

Clients will disclose information when and if they deem it necessary. Note that when you ask about surgeries in your intake, your client may or may not disclose any gender confirmation procedures they’ve had.

You can offer opportunities for clients to share more about themselves and feel more comfortable by offering open-ended questions when possible instead of checkboxes. You don’t need to prepare a form for every possibility; you can allow your clients to choose the language that suits them best!

2. Respect Confidentiality

Clients gender identity, gender assignment at birth, or sexual activities are absolutely no one else’s business. They are in fact only our business if it directly affects our ability to serve them.

If a colleague asks you any personal questions about your clients (for example, trying to “figure out” their gender identity), it is your responsibility to respect their privacy and potentially use it as a teaching moment for your colleague. While trainers aren’t required by law to follow HIPAA standards, it’s certainly respectful, adds to the integrity of the coach-client relationship, and is likely to be recommended by your certifying body’s code of ethics.

3. Understand the Medical Procedures

There are several procedures that individuals may receive and I’m going to discuss the two most common procedures. I will include resources at the end of the article as well for you to refer to if you would like more information.

It is important to note that not all trans or gender nonconforming people choose to pursue surgery as an option.

Even when surgery is something that an individual would like to pursue, accessing surgery may not be an option due to the cost, lack of insurance coverage and lack of providers in the area.

When people do not have access to a surgical procedure that they need in order to feel comfortable in their body, it can drastically change their relationship with their body, their feelings of safety, and their ability to feel comfortable in fitness or wellness spaces.

The two most common procedures are vaginoplasty and mastectomy with chest reconstruction [1].

Considerations When Working With Individuals After Chest Reconstruction

When working with folks who have had a chest reconstruction it is common, but not always the case, that the individual may have a history of chest binding. This is a process that folks use to minimize the appearance of breast tissue and some may have done this process for years.

Because binding is restrictive there is likely some work to be done to encourage your client to breathe deeply and fully, and to address restriction along the sides of the chest and lats both pre- and post-chest reconstruction. It’s also not uncommon to see an exaggerated kyphotic curve (i.e., rounding of the upper back) with these clients.

In attempting to correct any postural dysfunctions, it’s important to be gentle and understanding — realize that your client’s gender identity and safety may be in play with this posture. I strongly encourage my clients to spend some time on their own, in a safe space, working on their breath, filling their chest and belly fully, allowing their chest to expand.

I also work with them on increasing mobility in the lats and armpit areas as well as their upper back with a roller or lacrosse ball. This will greatly support them in increasing their range and freedom of movement. Often with these clients, I focus work the back muscles more than the chest muscles.

In addition, when using tactile cues (touching to cue) always ask permission first, no exceptions. Trans and gender nonconforming individuals are more likely to have experienced physical violence in their lives than their cisgender counterparts [2].

Considerations When Working With Individuals After Vaginoplasty

When working with folks who have a had a vaginoplasty, there are a few important things to know, starting with what it entails, both in terms of the anatomy involved and the potential exercise indications both pre- and post-vaginoplasty.

A vaginoplasty is a extensive two- to six-hour procedure that removes one’s existing penis, testicles and scrotum and creates a vaginal canal and sensate clitoris.

I would suggest any client seek out a trans-competent pelvic health physical therapist one month prior to surgery and then again about two weeks post-surgery. Ideally, their surgeon will have an appropriate referral for them, but it’s always a good idea as a coach to have your own referral network.

Individuals may take four to six weeks off of work to recover from this surgery. This surgery will make walking difficult for quite a while, though short repeated walks can help in the healing process. All bodies are different, of course, but you can expect to not work with your client for several weeks to two months post-surgery.

When work with the client resumes, be aware that walking and sitting on any kind of cardio equipment (such as a bicycle) may still be uncomfortable. Also note that with a vaginoplasty comes the risk of prolapse, therefore it is important to avoid the valsalva maneuver or holding one’s breath while lifting [3]. I always cue to exhale on exertion, and my suggestion would be to address core stability, breathing and pelvic floor before anything else.

There are several articles already on the GGS blog about isolating and training the pelvic floor muscles; this includes strengthening as well as learning how to relax the pelvic floor muscles. Those recovering from a vaginoplasty will need to learn how to intentionally relax the pelvic floor when they start dilation procedures, which will start one to two weeks post-surgery.

Dilation is a process of post-operative care that involves inserting a dilator inside the vaginal canal to preserve its shape and depth, and that should be continued to some degree for the duration of the person’s life. With this in mind, it’s important that your client has the capacity to intentionally relax their pelvic floor muscles.

4. Stay in Your Scope of Practice and Refer to Trans-Competent & Body Respecting Providers

In any given session I may find that my client needs a service I am not qualified to provide. It could be a mental health counselor, a Health at Every Size dietitian, physical therapist, and the list goes on and on. I do not try to fit myself where I do not belong. I am a strength and life coach and that’s where my expertise ends. I am always trying to expand my list of referral partners.

I work with populations who are consistently underserved and finding other trans-competent providers isn’t always easy and I consider it a part of my job as coach. This means doing the work of calling or visiting an office and making an appointment to speak with someone about their practices and experience serving trans and gender nonconforming patients.

If you think this is time-consuming or a challenge for you, imagine what it’s like for your clients.

Do yourself a favor and do the work. Your clients will appreciate it immensely and you will make yourself known as a coach who truly cares about your clients.

The author would like to thank Daniel Dugi III, MD and Sandi T. Gallagher, P.T. of OHSU Transgender Health Program for their help in reviewing this article.

Read also: Creating Welcoming Gym Environments for Trans and Gender Nonconforming Athletes

References

Standards of Care for the Health of Transsexual, Transgender, and Gender Nonconforming People, 7th edition, The World Professional Association for Transgender Health, https://www.wpath.org/media/cms/Documents/SOC%20v7/SOC%20V7_English.pdf

Hate Violence Against Transgender Communities Fact Sheet, Anti-Violence Project, National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, National Advocacy for LGBTQ Communities, https://avp.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/ncavp_transhvfactsheet.pdf

Meltzer, T, MD, Vaginoplasty procedures, complications and aftercare, Center of Excellence for Transgender Health, https://www.healthline.com/health/transgender/vaginoplasty#recovery

Additional Resources

Transgender Health Program Community Forum: Vaginoplasty, Dr. Daniel Dugi, OHSU Urology

Gender Affirmation Surgery: Everything You Need to Know

Marci Bowers, MD

The post 4 Ways to Support Your Trans Clients Pre- and Post-Op appeared first on Girls Gone Strong.

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musiccosmosru · 6 years

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