#and everyone wants to work a steamer like me FUCK YOU my manager
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dear god what have I done in the tags.
#99.txt#they cut me off i didnt even finish the story gwhdhhsnvj#yeah so basically :) i steamed milk without foam. because they didnt want foam. the no foam drink#and im so smart and sexy and good at an espresso machine#and shes like ''uu STILL have to foam it ven !!!!!!''#im like ''huh. they dont want foam tho.''#shes like ''you have to FOAM the milk its in the BOOK 🙂''#at this point she has already GRABBED THE CUP from my hand to put her shitty giant bubbles in.#so im like ''ok . then. how. do i make it with no foam :)''#shes like ''um ??? u pour it in and then take it off the top ?? thats why we have SPOONS ?''#AS IF THIS IS FUCKING OBVIOUS. AND NOT THE DUMBEST SHIT IVE EVER HEARD.#OUOIUOUHHHH SHES TALKIJG TO ME LIKE IM FUCKING STUPID. YEAH SILLY ME DUMMY ME I DIDNT KNOW THAT A SPOON IS JUST TO PUT FOAM INTO A DRINK#AND THEN TAKE IT RIGHT BACK OUT AGAIN LIKE AN INSANE PERSON.#AAAAAGHAHV SILLY ME OOPSIE#even if the book says that i dont even care. the book is dumb as hell#i know how to steam milk without foam like. i know how to do my job. im so damn cool and sexy and smart#and everyone wants to work a steamer like me FUCK YOU my manager#acting like im stupid all the time and then does the MOST BATSHIT THINGS EVER#i dont even know.#another manager made me talk to her cos i was complaining. and im like ''yeah i feel like u talk down to me''#and her response basically boiled down to ''no i dont :)'' like. ok. so what now#she was also like ''oh im just like this 😊'' and im like. huh. so you either never thought about how that makes ppl around u feel.#or u just dont care ? ? that sounds like a really cool and healthy way to live your life
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Can’t Help If This Is Us
Hello friends. I’ve worked super hard on this fic. I’m not a fast writer so this took my while and I’m super happy with the way it turned out! Special thank to my bestie @harryforvogue . I wouldn’t know how to spell or about even write if it wasn’t for her so thanks you ugly fart face.
Also I wrote this entirely for free so all I ask is for feedback. I would really appreciate it and would love to hear your thoughts!
literally mate please let me know your thoughts. PLEASE. I beg.
WARNING: there is smut in this and mentions of the mafia.
I hope you enjoy reading Kiara and Harry’s story as much an I enjoyed writing it. 11.5k words
A fic about Kiara, a normal girl who works at a coffee shop in the upper east side of New York, where she meets Harry. A man who is caught up in a job he doesn’t want but is working hard to craft a better life for himself.
Fuck me like you wanna make love
Call me when you wanna stay in touch
Lie together just to gain trust
Say what you wanna say, can't help if this is us
Moving to New York was a fresh start for Kiara.
It’s only been a couple of months, but she has grown accustomed to the city.
She has an apartment in a not-so-great part of town, but it is close to her University, and the view from her balcony isn’t too bad. She is a coffee connoisseur, so when her pregnant friend and neighbor, Trina, helped her get a job at a cafe on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, how could Kiara truly not make the best of her newfound city life?
“An Americano please?” a deep British voice asserts.
Kiara’s cleaning off the steamer about an hour into her morning shift when the man with long chocolate curls speaks to her. Kiara has been working here for a month, and some very high profile people have come to the shop, but Kiara has never seen this man, but he sure looks important. He is in a suit, all black, and the only accessories are the multitude of rings he has on his fingers. The rose one catches her eye first, then the big gold H.S letter rings. Those are his initials? What is the point of that? Is this man obsessed with himself?
“Americano?” he says more lightly, snapping Kiara out of her thoughts.
“Sorry, I- Americano,” Kiara stutters.
Kiara isn’t one to get easily flustered, but how can she not be when this six-foot sexy man was towering over her in a suit, asking for black coffee.
Only real men drink black coffee.
She works around the machine expertly until the man’s voice interrupts her. “You’re new here?”
“Yeah,” she responds, swiping a curl off her forehead. Managing her naturally curly type four hair in the bipolar New York weather has been a challenge. Most days, she wears her thick hair in a bun, or when she can afford to get it done, box braids. “Started working here a month ago.” Kiara hands him the coffee in a brown to-go cup.
“Hmmm. I’m here all the time. I’m sure I would have noticed a new pretty employee.”
“Guess I’m not all that pretty then,” Kiara fires back, handing him a receipt with a pen to sign.
Harry doesn’t really know what to say to that because he actually does find Kiara pretty. He likes that her face is an even brown color with a few beauty marks. He likes the color of her light brown hair, and he really likes the sound of her voice. It’s sort of angelic, even when she is snapping at him.
Harry smugly hands Kiara his hefty card (the first indicator that this man has money) and signs the receipt. He drops some cash on the bill.
“That’s your tip. By the way, I do think you’re pretty.” His eyes flick down to her name tag. “Kiara.”
Kiara rolls her eyes at the man. He probably walks around life getting everything handed to him because he’s rich, white, and hot.
Screw him and his stupid cute dimple, Kiara thinks to herself. She goes to grab the receipt he signed and see’s two fifty-dollar bills stacked on each other.
Her mouth forms into an “o” shape. A hundred dollars on a three-dollar coffee? What sense does that even make? This had to be a mistake.
“Hey Kiara, are you okay?” Trina, who’s waiting tables today, asks. She has her brown apron tied over her baby bump with a few crumpled receipts and pens tucked in the pockets.
“I just got tipped a hundred dollars,” Kiara says, still shocked.
“You go, girl!” Trina enthusiastically shouts. “Who was it? A regular?”
“I’m not sure. I’ve never seen him before. Brown curly hair, dressed in a nice black suit-”
“Oh, that’s Harry,” Trina smiles. “Everyone loves Harry. He is a cutie. Been getting coffee here for a long time. He owns the strip club down the street.”
“I’m sorry. The dude owns a what?”
“A strip club bar type thing,” Trina shrugs. “Very fancy. It’s pretty much only for the elite. He is super nice. Everyone loves him here! He bought me a crib and this fancy high-tech stroller when he found out I was pregnant.”
“Yeah, well, he is kinda a dick if you ask me,” Kiara mutters under her breath.
“He tipped you a hundred dollars, and you’re calling him a dick?” Trina curiously questions.
“He called me pretty! And he had this arrogant ambiance to his voice. And what is with all the rings? It’s tacky.”
Trina places her hands on her hips.“Oh, just say you find the man hot! It’s okay to admit you find Manhattan’s most eligible and rich bachelor hot. I don’t blame you. I would get on it if I wasn’t thirty and pregnant.”
“I’m not admitting anything. Besides, I don’t have time for men. Men just cause problems.”
“Oh, you're telling me?” Trina points to her bulging belly. Kiara snorts at her friend and starts to walk away to grab more coffee beans from the storage, and Trina follows closely behind her. “You need to have some fun! Loosen up. Get your head out of that textbook. You have been living next to me for three months, and I haven’t seen you invite not one boy over! I know that vibrator you use is tired.”
Kiara grabs the box of coffee beans and turns back around to face Trina. “My vibrator is doing me just fine.”
Kiara’s whole life has been centered around academics. She was a really smart kid growing up. She had a good start to life too. However, Kiara’s wholesome childhood took a turn at twelve when her Dad died in a car accident. The accident was horrific for her entire family, but it hit her mom the worst. Her mom went from being a well respected physician's assistant, to being a drug addict, and Kiara had to grow up at the tender age of twelve just to take care of her mother. Around the age of fourteen Kiara’s mom got shipped off to rehab, and she ended up weaving in and out of foster homes until she was eighteen. Kiara realized that she never wants that to happen to her future family. She has been working hard on her academics because she hopes to have a stable income, so she can give her future kid the life that she never had.
It’s not like Kiara didn’t want to go and mingle around. Meet a new guy, have a one-nightstand, maybe even possibly fall in love. However, the dating scene as a brown skin woman in a whitewashed part of the city isn’t as easy as it sounds. Kiara doesn’t teeter the line of looking ethnically ambiguous. She is clearly a Black girl. Caramel skin, tight curls, full lips, and wide hips. Kiara likes these traits that she carries. In fact, she loves them, but men don’t. Specifically, men that aren’t her race. Not to mention that Black men are hard to come by in this particular part of city.
The simple fact is most white men don’t like Black women.
It’s even arguable that Black men don't even like Black women.
And Kiara is okay with that. She doesn’t need to be approved by a bunch of white people, nonetheless ones with penises. She just wishes she had more options to date within her race, or at least find someone who genuinely liked her.
Maybe that’s the reason why Kiara doesn’t want to go out and find a man to have some fun with. She knows he’s going to be white, and she will have to endure hundreds of questions about her race and her hair or meet racist parents, and she has done that all before.
So, for now, instead of explaining this to Trina, her very white friend, she will just blow off her questions about why she isn’t sleeping around or why she doesn’t entertain the idea of going to bars to find cute boys.
+++
The next day Kiara is off work. She spends her day sitting in her bed, in red pajama shorts and her university sweater, studying for her midterm. She got through quite a bit but is still a little worried about not getting an A. About an hour into her studying, she hears bickering from Trina’s apartment.
“I don’t know what you are being so shy about. Just ask her! You are great with girls.”
“No, I’m great at fucking girls. Trying to establish a genuine connection, I haven’t done that in a while.”
“I believe in you! Now go!”
Knock
Knock
It’s another guy that Trina has been trying to set Kiara up with. Trina does this about every other month. Very rarely does Kiara entertain the idea and sleeps with them, because she is bored, but it usually doesn’t go further than that.
Kiara opens the door to her apartment and there stands Harry. He is holding a boutique of red roses in one hand, and his other is behind his back. The suit he is wearing today is slightly different. Same silhouette, but this time the suit is brown. Kiara finally gets a good look at this man, and fuck.
Green eyes, full bright pink lips. Wide shoulders and defined biceps that show he does work out but isn’t a gym rat.
Gucci loafers. Now, this is an interesting man.
“What are you doing here?”
Harry nervously gestures to the flowers in his hand. “I brought you this.”
“You just came here to bring me flowers?”
“I also brought you this,” Harry pulls his hand from behind his back and shows a bottle of wine he got when he went on a business trip in Napa. He was saving the wine for a special occasion, like the next time he would go visit his mom, but this is more than a special occasion in Harry’s eyes. He is trying to swoon this girl.
Kiara smiles at him and grabs the wine bottle. If it’s one thing Kiara has learned in her adult life is that she loves wine. She usually only gets the cheap stuff from the liquor store down the street, but Kiara has never seen this bottle before.
She walked to her kitchen, leaving Harry staring at her dumbfoundedly. She pulled out two wine glasses from her kitchen cabinet.
Normally Kiara wouldn’t entertain this. Especially since she has a test to study for. However, she can’t lie and say she hasn’t been worked up...sexually.
“Alright, you brought me wine. You are welcomed in.”
Harry follows her inside the apartment, feeling a bit awkward. Usually, Harry never found himself at a girl’s place. He always took his one-night stands back to his house and had his assistant, Trevor escort them out in the morning.
Harry was nervous because this wasn’t a one-night stand. This was him bringing wine and flowers to a girls’ apartment, which he barely knows.
Just like Kiara, Harry also hasn’t been in the dating scene in a while. He has been busy with work, and it’s not easy what he does.
“So why did you come all this way to bring me wine?” Kiara asks Harry, pouring some wine into a glass and handing it to him. “I know you don’t live in this part of the city.”
“I don’t.” Harry sits on the barstool by the kitchen countertop. “I told you I thought you were pretty. Nice place, by the way.”
Kiara looks for the sarcasm on Harry’s face when he compliments her one-bedroom apartment but doesn’t find any. Kiara’s apartment isn’t ugly. But it probably is nothing compared to what Harry lives in.
Kiara takes a gulp of her wine. “It’s kinda trash actually. This is the ghetto.”
“You go to Columbia?” Harry asked, noticing her university sweater.
Kiara takes one more gulp of her wine, finishing off what is left in her glass. She was going to answer Harry’s question. She really was. But she got a good look at his bone structure. The way his jaw is a perfectly angled line. The way his Adam apple moves when he takes a sip of his wine. Even the way his fingers glide against the glass.
She begins to wonder how his fingers would feel against her.
“Kiara?”
That was it for Kiara because she doesn’t think she can keep herself composed in front of this beautiful rich man.
Instead of pouring her wine, Kiara grabs the bottle and starts to chug the wine like she is a trucker drinking a Samuel Adams.
Her lips remove from the bottle with a pop sound. Harry is now staring at Kiara completely taken aback by her actions. “What are you really here for, Harry? Sex? Because we can cut the small talk part.”
“Maybe I actually like you, Kiara.”
“You don’t like me.”
“Who told you that,” Harry counters.
Harry watches closely as Kiara struts towards him.
“I thought you were into blonde models?”
“Where are you finding this information from?” he questions.
“Google.”
Harry smirks. “So you’re googling me?”
“You know, if you wanted to know more about me, you could have just asked.”
Kiara cut him off with her lips attached to his. She wanted him to shut up, but she also wanted to kiss him.
Killing two birds with one stone.
Harry’s lips move in sync with hers, and he places his ringed hands on her back, pulling her closer to him.
If Kiara is being honest with herself, Harry’s lips feel like magic. It’s been a while since Kiara has kissed a guy, and she feels butterflies in the pit of her stomach.
“Kiara, what are we doing?” Harry mumbles into her mouth.
“We are gonna go back to my bedroom, and you are going to fuck me. Hard.”
“A-are are you sure about that?” Harry stutters on his words.
“We both know you didn’t come here to take me out on some date. So let’s just do this.”
Harry should have confidently responded and said, “No, Kiara, that is not why I’m here. I’m here because I actually find you attractive, and I know you have been working at the shop for about two weeks now but I have been very nervous to ask you on a date.”
However, his mouth went dry because Kiara threw off her sweater and her perky boobs sat fully on her chest.
“Kiara-”
“You know,” Kiara rests the palm of her hands on his muscular chest. Kiara has the upper hand and she sees it in the way Harry was staring at her, gaping at her actions. She loves being this bold. Upper chest bare for a man who is practically drooling over her boobs. Kiara likes to be in charge, but only for a little bit. After a while she wants to be taken care of. In bed that is. “For a man of such little words, you are talking so much right now.”
Harry grabs both of her wrist, but keeps her hands placed upon his chest. He knows his heart is racing a mile per minute. Kiara feels it and for a second she thinks to herself that there is no way she is causing this man's heart to skip beats.
Kiara stands up on her tippy toes and lets her tongue dart out to touch right below Harry’s ear suckling on the spot until it turns a nice red shade. She detaches her lips with a pop.
“You want this,” Harry whispers.
“I need this,” Kiara responds back.
“Tell me what you need Kiara.”
Harry’s right hand brushes over her bare breast, causing her to buckle a bit and stumble onto Harry’s chest.
“Hold yourself up, love, and tell me what you need.”
“I need you to fuck me,” Kiara whines.
With that, Harry holds Kiara's hips and roughly turns her away from him. Her hands went out and to grab at the granite countertop, holding herself up as much as she possibly could.
“How do you want it, hmm?” Harry whispers, quickly shrugging off his blazer and undoing a few buttons from his shirt. He begins to place wet kisses along the back of her shoulder. “I can fuck you right here, bent over the counter top. Or I can take you to the bed.”
“Here,” Kiara choked out through a moan.
“Can you handle it?” Harry teasingly asked her.
“I can handle it.”
“Can I take off your shorts?” Harry asks in a more serious tone.
“Mhmm, yes please.”
Harry shimmies down Kiara’s shorts. He takes the time to run his hands over her ass. The contact of her hot skin and Harry’s ice cold rings feels good to Kiara. She wants him to spank her, but she isn’t exactly sure what Harry is into and now she wishes she was sober enough to vocalize what she likes in bed so her needs can be met.
“Let's get a good orgasam out of you. Can I eat you?”
“Yes. God Harry, you're teasing me.”
“Not teasing,” he reassures her. “Just wanna know what you like.”
Harry gets down on his knees and opts for pushing her gray panties to the side instead of taking them off. Her core is glistening in her arousal and the smell alone makes Harry’s dick twitch in his boxers.
“Stop staring at it and-” Kiara cuts her sentence off with a yelp because Harry has attached his plump lips to her clit, giving her small kitten licks.
Kiara doesn’t really prefer to be eaten out. Most men's mouths don’t really do it for her. However, Harry is doing a very good job at keeping her legs shaking. She wants to turn around and look at him, but everytime she tries he delves deeper and deeper in her core, until she can barely hold herself up.
“M’mmm. A little higher please?”
Harry smirks against Kiara’s core because the little please she added to the end of her request tells him that she is slowly letting go of the tough exterior she puts up.
“Here? Is this good?”
“Yeah. Fuck right there please.” Kiara grips at the counter harder until her fingertips turned white.
“Been eating your veggies, huh?” Harry talks against Kiara’s core, the vibrations making her shudder. “You taste good love.”
Kiara is unable to respond because Harry is really going at it. His hands tightly grip Kiara's hips. His face is completely buried in her cunt, and he feels a slight ache in his jaw from the motions he makes with his mouth.
He continues to lick over her swollen folds, and then wraps his lips around her clit, which makes Kiara arch her back and push onto him. She is a panting mess, mouth wide open, eyes pinched together. She begins to thrash around but Harry grips even tighter at her hips.
“Stay still love.”
“I can’t,” she whined. “I’m gonna cum.”
“Why don’t you ask to cum?”
Kiara chokes on her spit slightly when Harry pulls his mouth from her pussy, and dips a finger inside of her. “Am I not entitled to an orgasm?”
“You are if you wanna be good for me.”
“Well if you're looking for a good girl I think you have come to the wrong place-”
Harry adds a second finger to her, which shuts Kiara up. “Ask nicely and you can cum.”
“I didn’t know you were gonna be so-”
“So what?” Harry asks her.
“Dominant.”
“You're lucky I’m not spanking you.”
“What's holding you back?” Kiara challenged.
Harry gets up from off his knees, and his free hand reigns down a heavy smack on her ass.
“Ask me nicely,” Harry demands, slowly pumping his fingers in and out of her.
“No.”
Smack.
“Ask nicely Kiara. I can do this all night.”
Kiara snaps her head back to look at Harry. “No.”
Smack.
Smack.
Smack.
The three spanks that Harry had given to Kiara were much harder than the first. So hard that Harry started to see an outline of his hand print.
It's when Harry gives her one more smack and pushes his fingers deeper into her, hitting a sensitive spot that Kiara gives in.
“Fuck, Harry please just let me come,” Kiara struggles to say with a couple tears falling from her eyes from being so wrapped up in pleasure.
“Say sorry.”
“I’m sorry. So damn sorry. Please, I'm so close.”
Harry laughed at how her personality has done a complete one eighty. She went from being a complete brat to now begging him for an orgasm. “You are?”
“Yes please.”
Once Harry feels her pussy tighten around his fingers he pulls them from inside of her. “I don’t think you are that sorry.”
Kiara let out a whimper at the loss of connection. Her legs are still shaking and she almost slipped off the counter but Harry was quick to catch her.
Harry's strong arms snaked around to the front of Kiara’s stomach, letting her stumble back into her arms. She felt Harry’s hard cock press up against her raw ass.“Easy now.”
Usually, Kiara would give Harry some witty comments, but right now she is too worked up from being so close to her orgamsm. She feels a bit fuzzy, not sure what to do next. Her core aches and all she can think about is getting off.
Her hands go down to rub at her clit, but Harry quickly smacks it away.
“That's my job tonight alright? You gonna let me fuck you? You're gonna be good so I can get you off properly.”
Kiara nods her head.
“Verbal consent Kiara.”
“Yes please.”
“Good girl.”
Harry’s smug voice echoes in her ear as he places wet open mouth kisses along her neck. Harry is really enjoying himself. She felt him smile against his neck when he started to coax soft moans out of her.
Kiara weakly pushes Harry's head away from her neck.
“Doll, are you okay? Did I hurt you?”
“No, I'm good. Can we just take this to my bedroom?” Kiara politely asks. “I think I will be more comfortable there.”
When Harry gets a good look at Kiara, he can tell he has pushed past the first layer of her tough exterior. He knows there is probably much more fight and sass in her, but right now she looks vulnerable.
“Yes of course we can,” Harry held his hand out and Kiara willingly took it as he led both of them to the bedroom.
When they arrive, Kiara sits at the edge of her queen sized bed, and Harry lets go of her hand. She whines a little at the feeling of Harry’s hands slipping away from her.
Harry chuckles at the girl. “Let me just take my shirt off darling.”
Kiara watches closely as Harry’s fingers undo the buttons one by one. His silk shirt gilded easily off his toned shoulders. He made his way to sit at the top of Kiara’s bed leaning against the headboard, and Kiara crawled on her hands and knees toward him.
“Christ,” Harry mumbled under his breath.
Harry spreads his legs wider, which allows Kiara to sit comfortably in his lap. She let her hands roam up and down his tattoos starting with the birds on his collar bone. She then notices the butterfly right above his tummy. When she places her left hand on it, tracing the wings, Harry sighs contently at her touch. It’s a comforting touch, one that he has never experienced with his one-night stands.
Harry breaks a sweat on his forehead when Kiara continues to trace his tattoos. His broad chest stops moving up and down because he begins to hold his breath. He isn’t really sure what she is doing, but it feels good. Good enough for Harry to exhale and relax into the bed.
For Harry, sex with girls usually got directly to the point. Of course, there was foreplay, but not to any extent like this.
Having someone else’s hands on your body is a part of sex. However, this feels much more intimate than that. He’s got that feeling of butterflies in his stomach when Kiara begins to run her hands all over his body. It felt like he was in high school again, having sex for the first time and being so nervous because you don’t know what to do. But in this case, the nerves and butterflies don’t come from a lack of knowledge of the female anatomy. It comes from being completely enamored by the beauty this one girl holds.
And for just a second, Harry questions if he deserves this to feel the way he feels right now. Warm and a little drunk on the feeling of love. He doesn’t love Kiara, at least not yet anyway. But he feels like at this moment, Kiara cares for him. And even if she doesn’t care for him, he wouldn’t mind existing in this false reality he has created in his head for a really long time.
Something about having his body touched in such a vulnerable way is making him feel things he has never felt in his life.
“You have a lot of tattoos,” Kiara points out, fingers still tracing his butterfly tattoo.
“Yeah, I have been collecting them over the years.”
“Which one was your first one?” Kiara asks curiously.
Harry brought Kiara’s delicate hands up to the swallows on his chest.
“These ones,” Harry’s voice shakily said. Kiara takes her index finger and begins to trace the birds.
“How old were you?” Kiara asks, keeping her eyes looking at the birds.
“Sixteen,” is all Harry says, trying to keep his past where it belongs. In the past.
“That’s young. You don’t regret any of them?”
“No, actually. I think they all tell a story. Sure, some of them are stupid, but they all got some meaning behind them.
Kiara innocently brings her hand up to his cheek, cradling his face. “You gotta tell me about them one day. You have so many.”
“Mhmm,” Harry hummed in response.
“Let’s kiss some more,” Kiara suggested, wiggling her hips in Harry’s lap to find a comfortable position.
Harry nodded his head in response letting his lips touch Kiara’s, but not yet giving in to her request. His hands find their way to her lower back, and Kiara’s hands now have made their way up to his shoulders.
“You look good. You know that?” Harry says against her lips.
Kiara now has a grin on her face and blushes at Harry as if she has never received a compliment in her life.
Kiara brushes a brown curl off of Harry’s face with her index finger, “You can’t give me compliments while I’m buzzed off of wine because you might make me fall in love with you.”
Harry smiles. “Why don’t I just fuck you like I love you?”
Harry realizes what he said and awkwardly takes his hands off of Kiara’s body, nervously running his hands through his hair.
Kiara see’s the worried look on Harry’s face, but she is just a tad bit too intoxicated to process the weight of Harry’s words.
“Or you could let me fuck you,” Kiara bodly suggests. “I just haven’t done it in a while, so you might need to take over when my legs get sore.”
Harry nods, his forehead pushed upon Kiara’s. He kisses her again, and is taken by surprise when she lightly bites on his lip. She then gives a quick kiss to the corner of the month, and then his throat. She leans over to kiss his collar bones, and Harry takes the opportunity to grab a handful of her ass.
He then slowly peels her underwear off of her. He drags it slowly past her thighs looking down at her soaking wet core.
“You’re wet,” Harry mummers into her ear.
Kiara cups Harry’s dick through his boxers, and slides them off of his hips.
Harry groans in pleasure when he feels her hand touch his hard dick that is leaking pre cum.
“Don’t get too cocky now,” her hand lazily pumps at Harry's length, which she finds to be quite impressive in size.
“Kiara, don’t forget who is in charge here,” Harry grits through his teeth.
Kiara dips her head down to lick at Harry's heavy balls, she then continues her way up to his shaft until she makes her way to his tip and suctions her lips around the pink swollen flesh.
Harry looks down at the Kiara, who is giving him those innocent eyes, as if she doesn’t have his entire dick in her mouth
“Oh fuck me,” Harrys rolls his eyes, and lets his head fall onto the headboard.
“I will. But let me suck you off first.”
Kiara passes her thumb over his dick, and kisses all around the tip. She licks him up and down before taking him into her mouth entirely, making sure to make eye contact with him.
Harry places his hand gently over Kiara’s head, asking permission to touch her. She blinks at him signaling to him that it's okay.
He took a rough grip to Kiara’s brown curls, moving her head up and down in a steady rhythm.
“That's it,” he encourages as Kiara suckles on his tip. “Fucking hell.”
She pulls her mouth from Harry's length and gives him a few sharp tugs.
“Slow down,” Harry pants. “Want to be inside of you when I come. Can you handle it?”
Kiara swings one leg around Harry’s lap, her core just inches away from Harry’s throbbing dick.
“Yeah I can.”
“Well what are you waiting for?”
Kiara slowly slides down on Harry’s dick, and his hands cling to the sides of hips, coaxing her on her way down. Harry groans at how tight and snug she feels around him.
Kiara is about halfway down when the blissful feeling starts to hit her. She tightens her grip on Harry’s shoulders biting her bottom lip.
“What's wrong? Thought you said you could handle it.”
Bravely, in one push Kiara glides right down Harry’s dick.
Harry groans with pleasure as soon as she makes it all the way down. His hands go out to grip her ass, and help her bounce up and down.
“That's it. Good girl. You like it when I call you that?”
“Yes,” Kiara responds, picking up her speed so that her tits move up and down with her.
“What do you want me to call you? I can call you my good girl, a slut, or whore. Which one do you prefer?”
“A whore,” Kiara is slightly embarrassed at what this man is doing to her, but she is so wrapped up in the lust of the moment that she really couldn’t care less.
“You're my dirty little whore, hmmm?”
Harry cranes his neck down to place a kiss on her tongue, lapping his tongue over her soft skin that smells like a floral scented perfume. He moans softly into her neck and squeezes at her fleshy hips.
“Yes.”
“Say it.”
“I’m your dirty little whore,” Out of nowhere Harry thrust his hips up to meet hers. “Fuck, Harry!”
Harry placed a wet kiss behind her hair before speaking, “How about you get on your hands and knees for me. I can fuck you like that.”
“Okay,” Kiara withdraws herself from him with ease due to how wet she was. She props herself on her hands and knees and arches her back for Harry.
Harry places a hand on her lower back. He rubs the tip of his dick over her wet folds before pushing in.
Harry moves slowly at first, testing out the waters to make sure he isn’t hurting her. Her sweet moans are only egging Harry on, and he is sure he isn’t gonna last another five minutes inside of her.
“Please Harry. Fuck me faster please.”
Harry hands grips on Kiara's fleshy love handles. It is a little tight for her liking however the pain is quickly drowned out by the intense pleasure she begins to feel.
This is a dirty shag. Harry is pounding into her at such an extreme pace that Kiara can’t even get a full moan out. Her little “uhhhh’s” and “nggggs” only encourage Harry on.
Kiara’s orgasm hits her first and it's just as blissful as she thought it would be. Legs trembling, her arms are no longer propping herself up, instead her right cheek is pushed up on the bed, and a bit of salvia is foaming out of her mouth.
“I’m gonna, oh god Kiara. Just give me a sec- fuck!”
Harry’s orgasm shortly follows and it's just as euphoric for him as it was for Kiara. This was one of the most satisfying sexual encounters Harry has had in a while and he wants to enjoy every second of being buried in Kiara’s warmth.
Harry was about to pull out from her but when he looked down at where they were connecting he realized how fucked he was.
Not only did he not wear a condom, but he most definitely came inside of her.
“Fuck,” Harry mumbles under his breath.
How could he be so careless? This has never happened to him. Harry has had quite the extent of sexual partners and he makes sure to always use a condom.
He wants to blame it on the wine but he didn’t even finish his glass.
“I need a second,” Kiara tiredly whispers, panting.
“I didn’t use a condom.”
“I’m sorry?” Kiara says still coming down from her high.
Harry runs his hand through his tangled hair nervously, “I didn’t use a condom. I haven’t had sex in almost a year though. I get tested regularly too. I’m sorry it just slipped my mind. I can run out and get you some plan B.”
“It's okay,” Kiara responds. She turns her head around to look at Harry. “Do you mind pulling out now though?”
Harry looks down at his dick, and then looks up at Kiara. “Oh yeah shit uhh.” He grabs on to Kiara’s hips and slowly pulls out of her.
“I haven’t had sex in like six months by the way,” Kiara slowly turns herself around to face Harry who has now tucked himself back in his boxers. “It could be longer honestly… it's been pretty dry here until now.”
“Yeah, same. Busy with work and what not.”
There is a moment of uncomfortable silence. Kiara has the sheets up to her bare breast, and Harry is not only taking in the raw beauty of the girl in front of him, and still beyond shocked he forgot to put on a damn condom.
“Well, I can get you some plan B. I think there is like a Target down the block from your apartment.”
“No, it's fine!” Kiara responds way too quickly. “I mean like, Trina has a stash in her car. I can steal from her in the morning. You don't have to rush out if you don’t want to. It’s not safe to drive at night, and you probably have such a long way to go.”
“You want me to stay?”
“Is that a bad thing?”
Harry shakes his head. “No...errr it's not. I would really like to stay.”
“Okay well I’m gonna pee. And clean myself up. I can bring you some water?”
“Water would be great.”
Kiara nods at him, standing up so that her white sheet is wrapped tightly around her body. She knows that there is no reason to hide from Harry. He just took her from behind and called her a whore, but Harry isn’t just any man. He is a man who looks like a greek god, and fucks like one too. So Kiara couldn’t help but be a little self conscious.
Kiara quickly comes back with two glasses of water. She has even changed into an old ratty T-shirt and a fresh pair of underwear.
Kiara hands Harry a glass and he takes a sip, “You know,” she starts, crawling into bed next to him. “If you told me you fuck like that maybe I wouldn’t have put up a fight at the cafe.”
Harry blushes, setting the glass on the nightstand next to him. “Didn’t plan this, you know. Not that I mind. Trust me, I like this.”
“I would be lying if I didn’t say I thought you were cute.”
“Oh,” Harry playfulls wiggles his eyebrows, scooting himself closer to Kiara on the bed. “Please do tell me more.”
Kiara pouts at Harry until he places a kiss on her bottom lip, another sloppy wet one on her cheek. He grabs at her sides, tickling her.
“Har- Harry! Stop, please!” Kiara begins to laugh uncontrollably. She even attempts to pull Harry’s enormous hands from her body but has no luck.
“Okay, okay,” she gives up, Harry pulling his hands off of her. “It was the whole curly hair, suit thing. I love a man in a suit, and you know you got an Americano. You have good taste in coffee.”
Harry smiles. “You make good coffee.”
Kiara hums awkwardly, not making eye contact with Harry, instead opting to stare at his mermaid tattoo with abnormally large tits.
“I like your hair too,” Harry speaks up. “It frames your face nicely. It was the first thing I noticed about you.” Harry’s ringed hands make their way to the top of Kiara’s thigh, rubbing her soft skin. “Then it was all the pins you had on your apron. You have a lot.”
“Oh. Yeah I’ve been collecting them over the years.”
“You had one that said, ‘Don’t be a damn.’ What does that mean?”
“I’m not sure,” Kiara shrugs, breathing out a relaxed sigh. “It was like my third year of undergrad. I studied abroad at the University Of Edinburgh, in Scotland and this guy who had a jewelry shop said it to me. The next day I came back he just gave me the pin and told me to always keep it with me.”
Harry smiles at Kiara with adornment, “I have family in Scotland. I’m from London though. Grew up there with my mum most of my life.”
“What brought you to New York then?”
“School then work. I went to Columbia,” Harry says, giving her the shortest answer possible. “I noticed you had it on your sweater earlier…. You know before you tore it off.”
“Shut up!” Kiara groans, striking Harry’s chest. “But yes I do go to Colombia. Just for my teaching credentials. I want to teach history.”
There is a beast of silence. “Are you sure if I stay the night? I don't want to intrude-”
“I want you to stay the night.”
Harry’s heart warms because no girl has ever said that to him. The feeling of butterflies swarming around in his tummy has come back, and he knows his cheeks are heating up in embarrassment.
“Alright.” Harry pulls Kiara’s body closer to him which makes her squeal in surprise. “Only if you keep me warm for the night.
+++
Harry is awake before Kiara.
Harry is used to waking up early for his job, and usually, he would be on his way to get his morning coffee and then head on down to the club.
However, he just can't leave the girl he just fucked last night.
Her breaths are short, and he can feel her heart thumping against his chest. She was properly attached to him, and Harry really liked it. Having her this close to him.
He takes the time while Kiara was asleep to not only watch her sleep peacefully but look at all the artwork she has displayed on her walls. There are no family pictures that Harry can spot, just a picture of her and Trina on her desk. It looks like they are at some club. Trina has a drink in her hand that looks like she is about to spill and Kiara is downing a shot.
Kiara stirs a bit in her sleep and Harry watches as she slowly blinks her eyes open.
“You're warm.” She blinks. “Do you want breakfast?” Kiara offers, nuzzling herself in the crook of Harry’s neck. “I make a really good omelet.”
Harry laughs. “Kiara I really can’t keep up with you.”
Kiara begins to innocently pepper kisses all over Harry’s neck. “What do you mean?” she pouts.
Harry groans once Kiara sucks on a sensitive right beneath his jawline. “For starters, you didn’t like me at all when we first met. Then we fucked because you claimed I was here just for sex. And now you are offering to make me an omelet.”
“What are you here for then?” Kiara presses.
Harry sighs, looking down at the pretty girl all tangled up in his arms. Harry knows exactly what he wants. He is twenty-seven and he is really looking for love. A life-long partner who he can come home to after a hard day at work. A partner who makes getting up in the morning all worth it. Someone who he can take out on dates, maybe even take to meet his brother.
He wants to take a leap of faith with Kiara. He wants to ask her on a date, however, he can’t bring himself to do that. He doesn’t want to put this girl in harm’s way because he likes her.
And it's not even about Kiara getting hurt. He would never let anything physically happen to the people he cares about in his life. It’s honestly about the hurt she would experience if something happened to him.
“I-”
Harry is interrupted by Trina barging into the bedroom.
“We will be late for the train if you don't get your ass up! You always sleep in--” Trina pauses once she realizes her best friend is wrapped up in her other best friend’s arms. “Oh fuck.” Trina points back to the door. “I’ll wait outside for you.”
“Shit,” Kiara grumbles to herself. “I forgot I had work.”
Harry watches as Kiara frantically pulls her underwear up her body. When she realizes Harry is staring at her, she turns around to slide on her black lace bra.
Harry isn’t trying to be that much of a dick, staring at Kiara while she is getting changed. It's just that her ass is littered with marks from his heavy handy, and a light bruise on her loved handles from holding her securely on his lap, while he pounded into her.
The bruises were tainted with the memory of last night, and Harry notices how every little mark told the story of their rough and passionate sex. Looking back on it Harry doesn’t know if he was too rough with the young girl. He doesn’t like that it was possible that he may have hurt her.
“You need to go,” Kiara demands, pulling her jeans on, and then her white shirt.
Harry picked up his white button-up shirt off the floor and threw it over his shoulder. “Kiara, was I too rough? Maybe you should put something on the bruises--”
“I’m going to be late for work Harry,” she snaps.
“Are you mad?”
Tears well up in Kiara’s eyes and this is very unusual for her. She never cries. She is not even sure why she is crying. She pauses for a moment not answering his questions.
“I’m fine,” Kiara answers with her back still facing away from Harry.
“You’re crying, Kiara.”
“I’m not!” Kiara yelled, throwing her hands up in the air turning around. “I- I’m just a little overwhelmed.” Kiara’s breath gets caught in the back of her throat. “I have school, and I work full time, and I’m interning at this elementary school...and that…” Kiara points to the bed. “That was the best sex I have ever had, and now I look like a complete freak.” She wipes a tear with the back of her hand. “I look like a complete freak because all we did was have sex and now I’m crying. It doesn’t have much to do with you I think. I’m just a little stressed.”
That was a complete lie and Kiara knows it. At this moment, she could care less about school or the stress of work. Its that empty feeling you have after sex knowing that this isn’t a forever thing. Harry will go back to being Harry, and she will go back to being Kiara. It is simply just sex...nothing more.
Harry gets off the bed in just his unbuttoned shirt and boxers. He tests the waters by placing a comforting hand on her back. “Is there anything I can do?”
“Just show yourself out please.” Kiara walks away from Harry’s hold, grabbing a scrunchie off her desk, and her purse. “I have to go.”
Harry doesn’t stop her. He knows that if he stops her he is gonna want to kiss her. Then he is gonna convince her to come back to bed with him, and he can’t do that. For her sake.
+++
“Are we not gonna talk about it?” Trina asks while she is driving her SUV.
Trina and Kiara usually take the subway together. It works out much cheaper for the both of them, but they can’t be late for work. Not during the Monday rush. Kiara is in the passenger seat pulling up her hair and frantically covering up a few hickies on her neck from last night. Trina is driving just a little bit above the speed limit, trying to make sure they both get there on time, and also worrying about her best friend who isn’t her usual bubbly self.
“There is nothing to talk about, other than I need some plan B,” Kiara replies dryly.
“You're joking.”
“Nope. Pass me your purse.”
Trina keeps one hand on the wheel and hands Kiara her purple purse from the back seat.
“Kiara you had sex with my best friend. Unprotected sex.”
“Exactly just sex,” Kiara shruged, digging up the pill from the bottom of Trina’s bag. “And I’m your best friend!”
“You are both my best friends!” Trina argued. “You know the poor boy actually likes you right?”
Kiara rolls her eyes. “Did he tell you that?”
“Yes! Actually, he did! More than once!”
“He is lying. I’m just a normal broke student. And him? He is a fucking rich man but he looks like a literal greek god! Trina you know I googled him. His past girlfriends are models! White, skinny blonde models. I’m not white, skinny, or blonde!”
“He was a party boy in the past!” Trina retorts. “He likes you, okay? He just has trouble communicating his feelings. I know you like him too. You just have this strange idea in your head that you are not good enough for him! Which is ridiculous.”
“It's whatever,” Kiara huffs, pooping the pill in her mouth and swallowing it, “It was a hook-up. A simple one night stand.”
“It’s okay to want something more Kiara.”
“He doesn’t want something more! It's so painfully obvious,” Kiara throws her hands up in the air.
Trina knows how stubborn her best friend is. It's why they get along so well. They both have this hot headed temperament. However, Kiara never really likes to give herself time to relax. She likes to be busy but it is clearly taking a toll on her mental health.
“Let me take you out drinking after work.”
Kiara turned her head towards her friend and smiled. “Thank you. Now we are speaking my language.”
+++
While Kiara’s working, a part of her secretly wishes that Harry would show up for his americano. She is trying her hardest to convince herself that he is not worth her energy or time, but the sex is still fresh in her mind and it doesn’t help that her body is showing evidence of what took place last night.
There is still that dull satisfying ache between her legs, the sound of Harry calling her a dirty whore plays on rewind all day. She is practically daydreaming about having sex with Harry again while making coffee.
Harry was the first man to meet her needs in that manner. Sure she has cum during sex a couple times, but it wasn’t anything mindblowing. In fact her orgasms were usually underwhelming, but with Harry he knew what he was doing. His dominance was a complete turn on.
And sure Kiara could be fuck buddies with Harry. But she thinks she deserves a little more than just casual hookups. She wants a relationship because at the end of the day, she wants to build a family. A family that makes up for her broken one.
Kiara has sat down and contemplated this before. Is it inherently selfish to want to fix her childhood trauma with a family of her own, but fuck. Can you really blame her?
+++
When Kiara gets home she quickly changes into a simple black dress. It hugs her curves nicely and it's the dress she usually pulls out when she used to go clubbing with Trina (which has come to a halt because of her pregnancy).
The subway ride to the club is filled with laughter and Trina having to help Kiara actually get on and off the train (because she pregamed at the apartment).
Once they got to the club, Trina walks up to the front of the line with Kiara.
The bouncer's eyes lit up as soon as he saw Trina, “Hi Trina. Umm, should I tell Harry you are here? James is also here too. I can let him know as well.”
“Harry is here?” Kiara questions.
Trina whispers in her ear, “Yes, this is his club.”
“I’m gonna need more drinks if I have to look at his stupid face again.”
Trina playfully rolls her eyes, “Yes, you can let James and Harry know we are both here.”
The bouncer pulls out his walkie talkie and opens the door for Trina and Kiara.
Kiara supports herself on Trina’s arm as they walk into the club, “You didn’t tell me we were going to Harry’s club?”
“I know, I thought you might put up a fight about it.”
She probably would have put up a fight about it, however she wouldn’t actually mind seeing Harry's stupid, beautiful looking face again.
The club itself is beautiful. The ceilings are covered with mirrors, and hanging down from them were stunning crystal chandeliers. The chairs are red, and glass tables are placed strategically in each booth. There is also a bar with some red stools, and a huge red door near it.
“What’s back there?” Kiara asks.
“The strip club. But we don't need to go over there. C’mon you wanted some wine, didn’t you?”
Trina and Kiara made their way to the bar and a heavily tattooed girl with a name tag that says Drew is working on the opposite side of the counter mixing drinks.
“Hey, Trina! What are you doing here? You can’t drink.”
“It’s for my friend, Kiara.” Trina gestures to her Kiara, who drunkenly waves back at Drew
“She will take some wine, something sweet. I’ll just have some sprite”
Drew grabs a wine glass and puts it on the table before walking away. “Coming right up”
“James is that new guy you are seeing, right?”
“Yes. He works for Harry.”
Kiara has heard Trina mention James on multiple occasions. She even thinks he has come to the cafe a couple of times for lunch, but Kiara can’t put a name to the face. She is unsure if Trina and James are dating, but she is not sure how far she should pry. She does briefly remember Trina telling her that James does not care about Trina being pregnant. In fact Trina told her one day during their thirty minute break at work that James is just happy to be a part of Trina’s family.
“Mhmm. So Harry owns this club?” Kiara asks, taking a sip from her wine that Drew provided for her.
“Yeah. He owns a few more too. I believe it's a family business or something?”
Kiara sighs before downing the rest of her wine. “Just eat the fucking rich already.”
“Kiara? Trina?”
Kiara spins around on her chair, holding up her second glass of wine that Drew had given her and made eye contact with Harry.
He looks breathtaking. Hair neatly combed out of his face, tailored suit, ring decorated fingers that Kiara thought was repulsive, but now she can't stop thinking about how they feel against her heat.
“Trina, it's Wednesday,” Harry sternly told her, pressing two fingers to the bridge of his nose, slowly breathing in and out, trying not to lose his temper at his best friend.
“Are you not happy to see me?” Kiara says, standing up. She almost trips on her heels but Harry grabs her arm.
Kiara places her hand on Harry’s cheek. “I know you have to be happy to see me. You don’t fuck someone like that unless you hate them or love them. And who could hate me?”
“Okay!” Trina chippers up, grabbing her friend and bringing her back to the barstool. “Maybe we should get some water in you, okay?”
Harry is flustered because way too much is happening at once. Harry has told Trina multiple times that Wednesdays are not a good time to show up at the club. He has his meetings on Wednesday, and dangerous people are always floating in and out of the club talking business with Harry. He just wants to keep Trina and Kiara safe.
“Drew put all their drinks on my tab,” he tells the dark-haired bartender. “Trina, did you drive here?”
“No, we took the subway,” Trina answered.
Harry sighed frustratingly. “Okay. I'll take you two home. Just don’t leave here until I come get you.”
“Harry,” Trina starts. “I'm sure we will be fine. It’s not that big of a deal. James is here anyways--”
“Trina please.”
It's the crack in Harry's voice that caused Kiara to stop drinking her wine and look up at him.
Trina shoots Harry a look of sympathy. “Okay fine. We will stay here until you're done.”
Harry exhales the air he was holding in, a nervous habit he is still trying to break. “Okay. I will be done soon.”
“What's got his panties in a twist?” Kiara snorts as Harry walks away.
“I’m not sure actually,” Trina responds. “He is always stressed at work. I’ve been trying to get him to take a break for ages, but pulling that man away from his job is an impossible task.”
“He always seems so tense.”
Trina laughs, “Yeah maybe you can help him with that.”
“Well I see you have been helping his fellow associate...James.” Kiara wiggles her eyebrows at Trina.
Trina dramatically sighs. “Don’t even get me started on him.”
“What? I thought things were going great!”
“They are!” Trina assures Kiara. “But I’m still not sure what he wants. I’m pregnant and thirty. I really don’t want to fool around anymore. I want to settle down. The baby is coming soon and I won't have time for hookups and flings. He says he doesn’t mind that I’m pregnant, but he hasn’t said he wants a relationship with me.”
“Why don’t you just be upfront with him and ask?”
“Because I don’t want to scare him off!”
“You deserve someone who is upfront with their feelings, Trina. You are never gonna know until you ask.”
Trina sticks her index finger in Kiara’s face. “I’m not doing shit until you figure out what's going on with you and Harry.”
“Fine I’ll admit. The dick is good.”
Trina squealed. “I knew it, you filthy whore!”
“I'm just a little nervous. What if he is just hooking up with me for some weird black girl fetish? What if he is a racist?”
“I can tell you that's not Harry.”
“Am I ready for this?”
Trina takes a sip of her sprite. “I dunno. You know the answer to that question, not me.”
“Well I don’t know, and you don’t know. So that's my cue to keep drinking.”
Trina rolls her eyes and is about to tell Drew that this will be Kiara’s last glass of red wine until she makes eye contact with a man walking towards them.
“Fuck,” Trina grabs her purse then grabbed Kiara’s wrist. “Don’t talk to him okay? Just don’t look at him and maybe he will go away--”
“Trina... Haven’t seen you in a while.” The man's voice is heavy and dark. When Kiara looked up at him the first thing she noticed is that he is extremely well dressed, with a bling out watch on his wrist. “Who is the lovely lady you brought with you?”
“Leave her alone Dorian.” Trina says.
“What's your name?” The man reaches out to touch Kiara’s lower back but she flinches away.
“Don't touch me! Who do you think you are?”
He raises an eyebrow at her. “Feisty. Pretty too. You are one of Harry’s girls?”
“Excuse me? One of whose girls?”
“Are you not a dancer for the club?” the man asks in a condescending town that sets Kiara off.
“Oh hell no. You know damn well I’m clearly not stripping so what is it that you want from me?”
Trina leans into Kiara’s ear. “Kiara please leave it alone,” She grabs her wrist but Kiara quickly pulls it out of her grasp. “Let's just go.”
“No, let the girl talk Trina. She has quite a mouth on her anyway. Maybe she can put it to a much better use.”
Slap
Kiara’s hand connects with Dorian’s face before Trina could stop her. Trina knows her friend has a temper but so does Dorian. The slap slightly echoes over the music and gains a few people's attention including Drew, who stops mixing her drink and keeps her eyes on Dorian, who clenches his jaw and fixes his suit on his shoulders, trying to regain his composure.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” he mutters quietly.
“And what the fuck are you gonna… Ow!” Dorian roughly grabs Kiara wrist and drags her towards him.
He holds her hand above her head. “You don’t know who you are messing with. Do I need to show you?”
“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Kiara begins to squirm. “Let go of me before I kick you in the crotch--”
“Hmmmm. Maybe I should teach you a lesson. Don’t think Harry would mind if I borrowed one of his girls.”
“Refer to me as one of Harry’s girls one more time and I will do more than just slap you.”
“Dorian. Let her go.” Kiara’s eyes float from the man holding her wrist to Harry who is stalking up to her with a man right next to him. His voice was deep and assertive. Something Kiara never thought Harry to be other than when he was in bed.
Dorian lets Kiara’s wrist go and she stumbles back a bit towards Trina.
“Harry!” Dorian loudly greets. “I was just telling one of your whores she needs to watch that mouth of hers.”
“She is not a dancer, Dorian.”
“Oh, is she not? Such a shame,” Dorians eyes shamelessly rake Kiara up and down. “With a body like that I’m sure she could attract some clients for you.”
Kiara launches at Dornian but Harry is quick to grab her this time pulling her into his chest.
“Behave. Please,” he whispers in her ear.
“Dorian, you need to go.”
“Harry, you know better than that. Came here for my money. Come here every Wednesday to get my payment.”
“Well, you're not getting it today. Come by tomorrow.”
“Funny you say that since you know the history between me and your father--”
“I don't give a fuck about the history between you and my father!” Harry seethes stepping closer to Dorian. “You don’t see him here do you? I made you a deal. You will get your money, just not tonight. You don’t get to threaten my friends and then just demand money.”
“You don’t want to test me boy--”
“No, you don't want to test me. Not tonight. Leave.”
Dorian smirks at Harry before raising his hands up in defeat. “I’ll be here tomorrow. If you don’t have my money there will be problems.”
Harry watches Dorian walk fully out the door before turning to Trina and Kiara. “Both of you. My car now.”
“What just happened?” Kiara questions.
“Trina just take her to the car.”
+++
The car ride back to Kiara’s apartment is silent. Kiara sits in the back confused as to why Trina and Harry kept whispering to each other. A whole conversation is happening and Kiara’s trying to keep up, but she can only get bits and pieces of what the two are saying.
“I might be still drunk but I can hear you know.” That is a lie.
Harry’s eyes glance up to the rear view mirror. “Are you okay Kiara? He didn’t hurt you right?”
“No but I did hurt him. Slapped him. And if you didn’t come and interrupt I was about to kick him in the balls.” Kiara hiccups at the end of her sentence.
“She is right,” Trina agrees. “She is more of a fighter than she leads on to be.”
“Exactly!” Kiara yells. “So if you would have given me the chance I would have fucked him up.”
Harry, who was clenching his hand at the wheel during the whole drive, lets go and smiles. “I believe you Kiara.”
+++
Harry makes sure to walk Trina into her apartment safely, before helping Kiara to hers which was a challenge in itself because she can’t even walk in a straight line.
“Woah,” Harry says, wrapping his strong arms around Kiara’s waist trying to keep her balance. “How about you sit down on the bed?”
Harry helps Kiara walk into her bedroom and he slowly sits her down on her bed. Her hair is completely ruined, her dress slightly bunched up at her hips and her lips gloss slightly smudged. Harry thinks she looks beautiful. He is staring a little too long before he realizes he should help her take off her heels.
He gets down on one knee and his fingers begin to work on the claps of Kiara’s heels until she wraps her leg around Harry’s neck and pulls him closer to her thigh.
“Wine makes me horny.”
“I know,” Harry pushes himself away from her, no matter how tempting she looks, and goes back to undoing her heels. “But I think it would be smart if I get you to bed.”
“Why was that guy asking you for money?”
“Asking me anything but that.”
“Okay. Did you mean it?”
Harry slides one heel off her foot and looks up at her. “Mean what?”
“When we met.” He grabs Kiara’s other foot. “You said I was pretty. You meant it?”
Harry is silent for a couple seconds, his voice low. “Of course. Why would I be lying about that?”
Kiara shrugs as Harry glides her shoe off. “Guys are assholes. Well most guys are.”
“Mhmm. Where can I find some clothes for you?”
“Top drawer.” Kiara points at her dresser right in front of her bed. Harry walks over to get some clothes and places them on the side of her bed. “When I moved here I hooked up with this one guy from my class. I thought there was something going on between us ya know? He was nice at first. So I was gonna ask him if he wanted to go on a date because well, at that point we were hooking up. Turns out he had a girlfriend.”
“Sounds like a dick. Can I unzip your dress?”
Kiara nods her head and stands up hastily, turning around so her back is facing Harry. “I feel like I’m never good enough to be the girlfriend.” Harry listens closely as he zips Kiara’s dress slowly. Her delicate skin has goosebumps on it. When he gets all the way down to the top of her butt he pushes the dress off her shoulders, and allows her to step out of it.
“I’m good enough to hook up with. But never good enough to meet the parents or keep around longer than a couple weeks.” She turns around to face Harry, and grabs the shirt he picked out for her, throwing it over her head, and ignoring the pair of sweats he brought her, opting to stay in her underwear.
“So do you find me pretty in a fuckable way? Or do you find me pretty enough to keep me around longer than a few weeks?”
“Do you want me to answer that? Because you are really drunk, and my goal isn’t to scare you off.”
“Yes please,” she hiccups. “If you want to fuck around lets just be up front about it. Think I’ve gotten my hopes up about too many guys and I just wanna know.”
“Well I always think it's time for me to settle down,” Harry explains to her. “I’m twenty seven and my mum will not stop bugging me about it.” He laughs but Kiara stays silent. “I guess dating is just a bit confusing for me.”
“Confusing?” Kiara questions, tugging at the bottom of her shirt to make sure it is covering her butt.
“I really didn’t expect to be around this long. I’ve done a lot of stupid stuff Kiara, stuff that I really shouldn’t have done because it put my life at jeopardy. I think I never settled down because I didn’t think I was able to.”
“And what about now? Do you think you can settle down.”
Harry inhales and exhales quickly. “I’m not sure.”
“Okay.” Kiara turns her back to Harry and walks to her bed. She is definitely disappointed in his answer, but she knew she shouldn’t have gotten her hopes up.
“That doesn’t mean I don’t want to keep seeing you Kiara,” Harry quickly responds, breathlessly. “I want to take you to dinner.”
“You don’t have to pity me Harry-”
“I’m not pitying you,” Harry cuts her off. “I like you Kiara. You're a nice girl, beautiful too, and I mean that. My life can be… menacing to say the least. I like you enough not to drag you into my bullshit.”
Kiara tiredly rubs her eyes with the back of her hands. “What exactly is the bullshit?”
“It's my family business and my family… Well, they are interesting people.” That is all Harry could tell her without explicitly saying, “Instead of going into finance with my business degree from Columbia, I had to join my dad’s mafia and fix all his mistakes while he lives in a mansion, even though all I have ever wanted was to have absolutely nothing to do with the “‘family business.’”
“You seem like you don’t want to talk about it.” Kiara is now sitting with her knees up to her chest on her bed and Harry is towering over her small frame.
“No. I’m not a big fan of my past. But I want to get to know you, and you can get to know me. I’m busy with work, and sometimes it's hard for me to open up, but I’d really appreciate it if we took this slow.”
Kiara pouts. “So that means I can’t convince you to stay the night? Even if I suck you off?”
Harry smiles at her. “No.” He places a kiss on her forehead. “But I will come get you tomorrow at seven for dinner. Does that work?”
“Yes it does. Thanks for bringing me home tonight.”
“Anytime. I mean that.”
Kiara flips over to her side, hands resting underneath her head. “Drive safe.”
Harry is unsure about his life. In fact he is unsure about leaping into this with Kiara. He knows they aren’t dating, and that's good for him. He needs time to figure out his life. He knows if he wants to be in Kiara’s life, he has to pay off his fathers debt’s and get out of the mafia, or else he will never truly have the life he wants.
Right now, he can see a future with Kiara. He can see himself waking up next to her, making breakfast. He can see himself enjoying a domestic life with her.
He knows he can’t have that right now. But he sure is gonna work like hell for it. For her.
#harry styles#harry styles writing#harry styles smut#haryr styles fluff#harry styles oneshot#harry styles angst#mafia!harry#harry styles mafia#harry styles x oc#harry styles x woc#harrystyles x reader#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fic#harry styles fluff#harry styles imagine#ha
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happy happy new years to everyone :))
just wanna say i really had an amazing year despite the rough start and end of 2021. i hope everyone stays safe and healthy!
here's some moots i'm extremely grateful for and i hope the sentiments similar under the cut
BACK TO NAVI
my discount sbi moots aka @redhoodsoot @thatplanetmarz @genesisrose74 and @sharkie-pog !
i like to see them as my very first friends and my tumblr family :)) i'm so glad to have met them and have them deal with my nonsense without any sign of (serious) judgement.
they all also write some pretty banger fics if i'll be honest and are the main reasons why i decided to come out of my shell and write. i also love the little banter i have going on for each and every one of them, albeit most of it being siblings-esque banter.
they really helped me grow in terms of confidence in my writing and confidence in myself outside of the computer! they helped me learn that caring for yourself is not at all selfish and people are kind (and not weird old men) no matter where you are or what your life is like, you just need to let yourself learn who's good enough for you :))
next up is @hufflepuff-writings
kait was probably the next person i decided to reach out to on a risk of not knowing if she'll ever respond. they're a ray of sunshine i love talking to when i manage to catch her on the same time i'm on tumblr as well. i was so honored to be tagged into her event and just being in the same prescence as them in general so i hope to experience more in the near future!
the one and only @mcytmushroom
met shroom by chance and honest to god we practically message each other on a day to day basis now, usually on discords, most times on snap. i was really happy to make them comfortable enough to let us get as close to each other as possible and i really, really hope we stay that way because, honestly, i don't know what my life is like with this snarky little shit.
and then here we have @inniterhq
edgy teenager. that's all i can say. also, i remember seeing sapnap's feet on my feed because of art's little... anons. very horrifying, but a core memory i can't shake when i go on tumblr so this is a thank you but also fuck you /j for putting that there. i hope getting hammy cheek'd was good payback for the unsolicited feet pics.
along with edgy teenger is other edgy teenager @mitzimania
just wanna point out to everyone that i turn 21 next month and not some anceint age mitzi tells y'all. like art, i saw mitzi through my search feed and thought vir writing was really good. ngl, i was lowkey shy to even say anything to mitzi for a while before hiking up my big boy pants and actually talk to vir before i realized mitzi is a little edgy shit lord like art 😐
astrology bestie @earthtooz
the minute crystals were mentioned i just knew earth and i would be tight. also said "that makes sm sense" when i said i mainly had aquarius in my placements and that kinda made me laugh. i hope she enjoys my crystal updates even though they're lowkey annoying WUXHWH if you want your charts read at some point, please go to earth if she has time. also one of her fics made me cry so
and to my favorite steamer @cherios
like most of my mutuals, i stumbled into cher's streaming by chance and thought it was funny to make stupid jokes in chat. i haven't gone into streams in a while due to some family related blockades (i'm sorry cher 😐💔💔), BUT cher has some awesome stories and an even more awesome personality so please follow and enjoy the posts she makes!
also, my favorite streamer @mikeyinnit
very patient. lovely moot. please love mikey and his writing i think they deserve sm attention. they are also very fun to watch in terms of streaming and is working very hard with making connections! love love love mikey please love them as much as me :))
next up is @strawberrymilkgeorge
finally @sunniewrites
fizzy usually gets bullied by me and shroom ngl (esp with that one sven comment WUDHEH im sorry if that's too much LMAO) BUT fizzy is amazing, funny, and overall the sweetest person i met so i love having met them and i hope to talk to her more since everyone lowkey disappeared near the middle of the school year starting, including me. i promise i'll be more active on your server, fizzy ;-; i'm just a little awkward WHSHAH
@basilly , another edgy teenager
one if the contributors on the "arielle is old" joke but i couldn't have it any other way. just like mitzi, i was scared to approach basil until i realized that all of them remind me of littile chihuahuas harassing me 😌 /j we haven't talked much lately but i hope once basil sees this they have an amazing year!
a ray of sunshine, pun intended. hurt sunnie's feelings and you're seeing the end of my bully stick (a promise, not a threat). very happy of have met them and gracing my feed constantly!
some more people i'd like to thank: my anons! don't think i haven't forgotten you guys i miss y'all 😩 playlist anon is the most active (and is also a beta reader for one of my fics so very grateful for my ading for that) BUT i love every single one of y'all for asking to be my anon and i hope to hear from you guys more :))
i'm also very grateful for my followers! we're at around 700+ right now and that's honestly amazing! i'm so happy my writing makes you guys happy enough to follow me and reblog my post you guys are the best ♥️♥️
hope you guys have a happy new year and hopefully we interact more! i'm sorry if i dropped off the face of the earth sometimes; college is a stressful part of my life but is something i find necessary to help me meet my end goals in life. love y'all!
12/31/2021 [10:01PM EST]
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Billy Lenz x Reader | Coffee Shop AU
*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:
“U already know who this is... Coffee shop au but there's a competing coffee shop that sells holiday themed drinks depending on the day of the week (B I L L Y L E N Z I D E M A N D H I M)” - anon
*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:
Billy was pissed.
Stupid Coffee Shop with their stupid snowflakes- and who the hell painted that sorry excuse for a snowman on the front window?! It wasn't even December, and they already had decorations up and Holiday Specials advertised in big, bold lettering
Billy blew a stray strand of hair from his face, glaring out the window at the coffee shop across the street. Two years after they opened there, and he still couldn't believe they'd had the audacity to choose that location - maybe less that thirty feet away from the location of his shop. There he'd been, finally settled after years of therapy, content with the stability of his life, when they showed up.
Them and their hair...their clothes...their stupid face- stupid eyes-
They came and opened their shop, selling coffee a dollar cheaper than him and attracting half of his customers like moths to a flame. When Billy put up a sign advertising cookies, they advertised two-for-one deals. When he offered special holiday sales, they offered free cookies with any purchase on Tuesdays. When he advertised limited time coffee flavors, they advertised seasonal baked goods. Those with fewer tastebuds and lighter wallets began to switch to the other, lesser coffee shop within a couple of months, and Billy was left to suffer the consequences.
Granted, he still got good business, his coffee shop was unique, and obviously quite superior. Not only was he skilled in the art of coffee making, and served everything in ceramic cups unless otherwise specified, his shop was themed.
Each day was a different holiday, with different options for coffee. He had 'plain' options for those who just wanted a caffeine fix, but he had alternating holiday flavors for the more adventurous. And damn it, if someone wanted a Leprechaun Cappuccino on Thursday then too fucking bad! They’d have to show up on Monday like everyone else!
It had started off with just Christmas themed brews all year 'round, but he'd expanded after the first year. He hated having to explain the menu to new customers every single time they showed up, but he did enjoy messing around with different types of latte art. That is, if everyone stopped ordering the iced coffee...
Glancing back at his rival, he snarled.
Billy hated them. He hated their coffee shop, he hated their smile, he hated their dumb laugh-
He'd often see them through the window, putting a sign out front, or sweeping off the front step before they opened. They looked dumber and dumber each time he saw them. Sometimes they had the nerve to wave at him and yell out a greeting like they had no idea they were rivals, and Billy hated it. He wanted to get rid of them. He wanted to dump boiling coffee over their head. He wanted to rip out their intestines and-
Bad Billy! Bad for having bad thoughts again! Stupid, nasty Billy! Stupid-
Billy took in a long, deep breath, just like his therapist taught him to, focusing on the way his lungs filled with air and collapsed when he exhaled. He played with the hem of his sweater, worn from years of doing so, feeling the way the fibers ran across his fingertips. He sighed, wishing for just one day without intrusive thoughts, but knowing he'd never be granted that sort of reprieve. No, it wasn't something he'd ever be cured from...but it was something he was learning to manage better as the years went by.
He glanced around the shop, hoping none of the customers noticed his little episode. Thankfully, they all seemed absorbed in their activities and conversations.
Billy sighed, a bit relieved. He wiped off some glitter that had fallen onto the counter from the tinsel hanging above him, hoping none had gotten into his hair again, when the front door of the shop opened. Glancing up he saw a woman and a young boy walk in and make their way over to the counter. They were regulars, coming every single Tuesday for the Valentine's Day special.
"Welcome to ‘Fa-la-latte’, what can I get'cha?" Billy asked with a smile plastered on his face.
"I'd like a Sweetheart iced coffee," she gestured towards the boy. "And he just wants a strawberry muffin. To go, please."
Billy nodded and spun around to get to work, withholding the eye roll he nearly gave her. If he had one more customer order the iced coffee he was going to take it off the menu.
He didn't notice the bell on the door ring, too focused on his internal dialogue and making a damn good iced coffee (or, as good as iced coffee is going to get). Even if he had to make the same damn thing every Tuesday, he wasn't one to disappoint.
Shoving the lid of the coffee with one hand, he grabbed a muffin in the other, putting it in a bag and setting them both on the counter. The boy, like any child would, grabbed the muffin almost immediately, and Billy rang up the price on the cash register. While the woman pulled out her card, Billy saw the person behind them.
Billy's eye twitched and his pupils narrowed at the sight before him.
It was them.
The absolute nerve this person had was astonishing. They thought it'd be okay to just show up whenever they wanted? In his shop? The shop they were practically stealing money from by simply existing? With their little stupid, ugly smile, and their stupid-
"Thank you!" the woman's loud voice broke Billy out of his thoughts, taking her coffee and exiting the shop with the boy in tow.
Billy's knuckles were white as they walked up to him, a smile on their face. He saw through their facade. He wasn't falling for that sweet demeanor.
"Wow, they weren't kidding when they said you had a lot of options!" they said, eyes wide as they looked at the signs above Billy's head. "It must be exhausting having to have a different menu for each day!"
Billy's jaw began to hurt from clenching, eyes raking over their form as they rattled on about things he didn't care about.
"So, Tuesday is Valentine's Day, huh? What would you recommend for a newcomer?"
Billy blinked, "What?"
"I came to try it out myself! Everybody keeps raving about how good your stuff is, and I wanted firsthand experience!"
Oh. Oh this sneaky- They wanted to taste it so they could copy him! They wanted to steal his ideas and sell it for half price! He was so close to just leaning over the counter and grabbing them by the throat-
But, he couldn't just cause a scene in front of his loyal customers! This coffee shop was supposed to be their quiet space, where everyone could just relax and enjoy themselves. He wasn't about to ruin it for them, and risk losing business.
Gathering himself, Billy gave them a sickly sweet smile, "Well, everyone orders the Sweetheart Iced Coffee."
They shifted on their feet, "Is that what you would order?"
Oh they were good...
"No," Billy leaned on the counter. "I'd order the latte."
They glanced up to the sign, "Just a regular latte?"
"Yup."
Seemingly dumbfounded, they shrugged and said, "Alright. One medium latte, please!"
Sending them one last smile before he turned around, Billy scowled and got to work.
Who'd they fucking think they were? 'oNe MeDiUm LaTtE pLeAsE!' Like he was gonna make them one of his specialty drinks anyway! Still...if they were out for his recipe, they would've been more insistent to order a specialty drink, wouldn't they? He glanced back at them, watching the way they looked around the shop with an awed expression. Their acting skills were top notch, he'd give them that.
Billy shook his head, trying to stop himself from mumbling. A few phrases escaped his lips despite his efforts. He heard them laugh softly, and he nearly burst a blood vessel trying not to scream at them to get out. An image of stabbing them in the eyes with a candy cane abruptly took over his thoughts, and he couldn't help but muse over it with a satisfied hum. He'd watch as their blood warmed the candy in his hands, mixing into a sugary, sticky mess-
NO! Bad Billy! Bad, bad, BAD BILLY! Naughty, NASTY-
Billy closed his eyes for a moment, focusing on the way the coffee machine hummed.
"You have her father's love, Demetrius. Let me have Hermia's. Do you marry him?" Billy muttered in a low voice, steaming some milk with an iron grip. "Scornful, Lysander! True, he hath my love-"
"Are you quoting Shakespeare?"
Billy pointedly ignored them, trying not to break the handle on his coffee machine as he turned the steamer off while he murmured to himself, a bit softer than before, "And what is mine my love shall render him. And she is mine, and all my right of her, I do estate unto Demetrius."
He poured the milk into the coffee, swirling it into a neat, but not overly exotic heart. It was Valentine's Day themed, after all, and he wasn't about to get ridiculed for a sloppy job. Turning to set it down in front of them, he was briefly stunned to find they'd moved to sit over at the bar near him. His fingers twitched as he inhaled sharply, plastering a smile back on his face as he shakily set the cup down in front of them.
Their eyes scanned him for a long moment before falling to the latte in front of them, sending him a small smile and a thanks. Billy gave them a sickening "You're welcome" before turning to clean up, ignoring the pleased hum they gave after their first sip. He was mumbling to himself again while he washed out some used cups when they spoke.
"So, are you in a play?"
Billy paused for a moment, confused, "What?"
"Oh, you were just reciting lines, so I thought maybe you were trying to keep them memorized," they shrugged, and then lifted their cup of coffee. "This is really good, by the way!"
"Were you expecting it to be bad?" he bit out, a bit more harshly than intended.
"No, no! I'm just used to coffee that's not so great," they shrugged.
"If you wanted bad coffee, you should've ordered the Americano," Billy mumbled.
The laugh he earned stunned him, his thoughts pausing for a moment to take in the sight of their smile. Despite his suspicions, the twinkle in their eyes seemed genuine enough... It would be so easy to put that light out...make their eyes as dull as his own can be. Turn the whites into a scarlet-stained-
A cup shattered in Billy's grasp, slicing the silence like a knife through butter. A curse escaped his lips before he thought better of it, echoing throughout the room. Some of the customers looked in his direction. Billy wanted to apologize, but his voice wouldn't cooperate. He lowered his head a bit, hiding his face behind a curtain of hair, and shakily gathered the broken ceramic from the sink. Thankfully, he hadn't cut himself.
You should have, stupid, stupid Billy! You deserve it! Bad Billy! Bad-
"Are you alright?"
Billy turned to them, eyes manic. He relished in the way they tried to hide their discomfort.
"I'm fine," he bit out.
Billy seized the opportunity for a bathroom break, escaping the hellscape that was his coffee shop. Standing in the middle of the small bathroom, he spent the next few minutes trying to even his breathing. In, and out. In, and out. The breathing technique left a lot to be desired, and didn't do much for his racing thoughts...but it was better than nothing. If anything, at least he could tell his therapist he'd put in the effort. He glanced at his reflection in the mirror, unsurprised to see a murderous gaze looking back at him.
"If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended," Billy muttered, hands gripping the sink. "That you have but slumbered here, while these visions did appear. Heh! Dramatic."
Shaking himself off, Billy inhaled and exited the restroom.
They were still there, sipping their coffee and eyeing him as he walked back behind the counter. He sent them a smile, as though nothing had happened less than five minutes before. They blinked at him, confused, but Billy paid them no mind. Instead, he decided to make himself a latte. His hands were still quite shaky, and his heart had yet to really calm itself down. He fumbled with the steamer a bit, but managed to complete the drink with no mishaps.
"So...which holiday is your favorite?"
Billy stared at them as he sipped his latte.
"Mine is Halloween! I'm curious to know what the Death Brew tastes like," they smiled. "Is it bitter?"
Billy's eyes were glued to them as they patiently awaited his answer, and he took his time swallowing his coffee. They wanted to know what his brew tasted like, huh? They were definitely out to steal his recipe.
"It tastes like death," he replied. "Hints the name."
He jumped when they laughed out loud, apparently finding his sarcasm amusing. Billy hated the little butterfly that flew around in his tummy, and promptly squashed it with an eye roll and a huff.
Billy watched as they continued to look around at all the different decorations adorning the coffee shop, seemingly in admiration, but he couldn't be too sure. This person was crafty, and he had to be ready for anything. They were clearly looking for some way to ridicule him, or one-up him, and he would not allow it.
Still...the twinkle in their eyes...and the soft smile that settled on their lips...
"Christmas."
Their sparkling eyes turned back to Billy, "What?"
"My favorite holiday is Christmas," Billy said.
They smiled at him, "I should've known...there's a lot of tinsel hanging around in here."
Billy looked down at his latte, trying to sort through his racing thoughts. He hadn't felt this unsettled in a while, and it was a feeling he hadn't wished to relive.
"Your place is a lot calmer than mine," they said airily. "It's nice..."
Billy's eye twitched. He couldn't tell if that was a compliment, or a well-hidden insult. He just hummed in reply, trying not to appear as frazzled as he felt. However, he was sure the trembling in his hands was giving him away.
"Christmas is on Saturday, right?" they asked.
He nodded and they gave him a sweet smile.
"Well, I might have to come back in a few days, then," they replied, hopping off of the bar stool. "I'll see you around! Thanks for the coffee!"
Baffled, Billy watched them leave with his mouth hanging open. He stared until he saw them disappear behind the door of their own coffee shop.
Everything about that interaction had gone strangely, in his mind, and he wasn't sure if it was because it had been strange or if it was just him who found it odd. They'd seemed genuinely curious about everything, not with ill intentions in mind. However, they'd left so abruptly...almost like they did it on purpose.
They were probably scared of Billy. They probably heard him mumbling nasty things under his breath and ran away- T-they knew Billy is bad! They knew Billy has bad thoughts! Bad, bad thoughts! They- They...
They didn't fucking pay for their coffee.
Billy nearly saw red, glaring at the empty cup that sat on the counter. With shaking hands he grabbed it, doing his best not to toss it across the room in frustration. He froze, however, when he saw a small slip of paper flutter on the table where the cup had been sitting. Curiosity peaked, Billy set the cup in the sink and then picked the paper up between in fingers.
"Feel free to stop by my shop any time for a free coffee! We've got lattes ;)"
Billy didn't enjoy the way his face felt as it flushed, and he really didn't enjoy this new feeling of butterflies in his stomach. And yet, a grin split on his face, and a cackle escaped his lips, earning a few glances. He turned to see them staring at him through their own window. They grinned and waved at him, and he choked.
If they were so insistent on stealing his recipes, he'd just have to return the favor. He wanted to see what all those customers saw in their stupid coffee shop. They probably batted their stupid eyelashes at people, and smiled their stupid smile-
Their stupid, goofy smile... Made their eyes crinkle at the corners... He could think of many different ways they could use that mouth of theirs-
No! Bad, naughty Billy! Having naughty thoughts at work! Bad! Bad! BAD!
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Signed, Sealed, Delivered (3/6)
Fandom: Star Wars
Pairing: Rey/Ben Solo (Reylo)
Note: I am truly hoping that if you are reading this, you are enjoying this. I have had so much fun writing this story.
Read below or on AO3
The next morning Ben is surprised when he sees Snoke walking across the lobby and he looks… almost happy? His steps are less heavy than usual and there's an almost air of satisfaction that is coming off of him that is contagious.
"Good morning, sir," Ben says while he stands from his desk. "Your three o'clock got pushed back to four, so I was able to get you into the massage place you mentioned at 2."
Snoke smiles. An honest to God smile. Ben tries to keep his face from showing his shock as he tries to figure out if he's ever seen Snoke smile before. It's a little off putting.
"That's great." Snoke responds. The smile is gone from his face, but he almost sounds appreciative. "You should sit in on the four. We are covering some materials that'll be important for you to have a concept of once you move on."
Ben stares at him, and despite his best efforts he's not sure that his mouth doesn't open just a little bit at what Snoke is offering. This is everything Ben has been waiting for. A step toward the light at the end of the tunnel.
"Of course." Ben gives a quick nod at the end of his sentence.
"Would you mind running down the street and grabbing me some lunch and some coffee?" Snoke walks past Ben's desk, pausing just before he goes into his office and adds, "Please."
Ben turns around to look at Snoke, blinking a few times before answering. "Of course, sir. I'll go now."
Ben smiles to himself as he heads toward the elevator. He hesitates with his finger hovering just over the down button, before he moves his hand up to press the up button instead.
He almost hates the smug smile on Rey's face he can perfectly imagine when he tells her that her plan worked.
Almost.
***
Rey hums along with the song playing softly in the background. Amilyn's calendar is surprisingly blank, besides an early morning meeting that she has already finished. Rey's already placed an order for her lunch to be delivered at 11:45 am exactly. Amilyn smiled at Rey when Rey let her know.
Amilyn brought up Snoke and went on and on about him when she first got to work. It is amazing. The way Amilyn can't stop smiling. Her happiness appears to be giving her an energetic boost as she goes from office to office and checking on everyone's projects.
Rey is working on a layout for a proposal for an environment company. It's easy enough work and much better than taking notes during a meeting, or running around trying to keep up with Amilyn's fitness instructor's new goals. She's even had time to read through a few articles that a few old friends from college had sent her over the last few months.
It was nice. Even if it reminds Rey that she hasn't written anything since college.
"I was right," Ben's voice surprises Rey as she looks over at him from her computer.
Ben looks far too smug and happy, placing his elbows down against her desk as he bends down.
"You were right about what?" Rey asks, turning her head to the side and taking him in. "The decision to wear that tie with that jacket? Cause," Rey makes a tsking sound, "I'm not so sure about that."
She's lying. The black suit Ben is wearing looks pretty amazing with the dark navy tie. It's a little unfair actually, how good Ben manages to look every time she sees him.
His eyes narrow and the glare with the small pout is utterly endearing and adorable. Maybe Kaydel has a point. Maybe there's more than a chance she has feelings for him.
Not that she needs to be thinking about that now. Or ever.
"Tell me what you were right about? I can't imagine that happens often," Rey teases, saving the document she's working on before closing out of it. "Did the lemon electricity science project get first place?"
"The science fair isn't for another few weeks. I actually still need to start the poster boards for it," Ben shakes his head. "This conversation is not going how I planned."
Rey grins. "You planned the conversation?"
"Did you get an extra ounce of feisty in your coffee this morning?" Ben's lips twist up in half a smile. "Or do you just enjoy messing with me?"
"Maybe a little bit of both." Rey shrugs. "So, tell me what you were right about."
"The plan worked." Ben stands back up, stretching his arms over his head. "Snoke asked me to go get him coffee. And he said please, Rey. Please. I didn't know Snoke was aware that the word please even existed."
"That's so great, Ben." Rey grins. "However, I'm a little unclear on how you were right in this situation. If I remember correctly, you had a bad feeling about this. So I think the words you are looking for might be more along the lines of 'you were right, Rey, and I'll never doubt your supreme intelligence ever again.'"
Ben rolls his eyes, chuckling. "Want to take a break and go get the coffee with me? I'd love the company."
Rey nods, standing from her chair. "That sounds perfect. I stayed up way too late with Kay last night looking at venues for her engagement party."
They start walking toward the elevator, Rey smiles at the receptionist by the front entrance to the office and lets her know that she is taking a quick break, but to call her if Amilyn needs anything.
Not that Rey thinks she will. She can see Amilyn leaning over one of the graphic designer's shoulders, staring intently on whatever is on the screen.
Rey could get used to days like this.
The sun is bright and high in the sky. Rey stills for a moment, tilting her head up and letting the warmth settle over her. There's a light breeze, but it feels nice.
Rey feels Ben's hand brush against hers, pulling her out of her haze. She opens her eyes and looks at him, a blush spreading over her face as he toys with her fingers with his. Finally, he grabs onto her hand.
“C’mon,” Ben says, tugging on her hand. “Snoke’s going to wonder what is taking me so long if we don’t get going.”
“Right,” Rey laughs nervously, falling into step behind him. “Don’t want to ruin the first good mood you’ve ever seen.”
They spend the rest of the walk in relative silence. Ben doesn’t let go of Rey’s hand. Rey doesn’t try to pull away either. His hand is warm and she enjoys the way the warmth seeps into her skin.
He still doesn't let go of her hand when they walk into the coffee shop. Or when they are standing in line. Ben rattles off Snoke's order and his own with ease. He squeezes her hand when he adds her own tea order at the end.
Something inside of her flutters as she listens to him order her favorite drink. She's not sure if it's because they've been spending so much time together trying to come up with a plan that would work, or if it's because he is paying attention to her. But she likes the way it makes her feel.
The longer she holds his hand, the more she smiles. It's getting harder for her to deny that maybe Kaydel is right. Which is not great.
Kaydel is the most insufferable when she is right.
Ben lets go of her hand to go grab the drinks from the counter after his name is called. He holds out her cup when he walks back over for her to take. Rey takes a small sip, savoring the taste and the warmth of the drink.
Rey tries not to think about how much she misses the feeling of his hand on the way back.
***
It’s just past five and Ben is already at his apartment, looking through the cabinets to see what seasoning he has available to him. He isn’t sure the last time he was home early enough to actually make dinner. It feels nice, moving around the kitchen and seasoning chicken and making something.
The door opens and Poe walks in, he stares at Ben, his mouth opening and closing a few times. Poe tilts his head to the side, and walks back out the door, closing it behind him. Ben blinks, wondering what the fuck Poe is doing when the door opens back up, and Poe walks back in.
“You realize that it isn’t even six and you are home right?” Poe asks, closing the door.
“Yes, I am aware of that.” Ben laughs, sprinkling some thyme over the chicken on the stove. “Snoke left the office early, so I took off.”
“Snoke left early?” Poe asks in disbelief. “Again? What is going on?”
Ben flips the chicken, seasoning the other side. “Rey and I may have come up with a plan to guarantee some extra free time. And it appears to be working.”
“Rey?” Poe walks into the kitchen, leaning against the counter behind Ben. “The girl whose dinner you stole?”
Ben rolls his eyes. “I didn’t steal her dinner. I paid for the dinner. I was like a knight in shining armor if you really think about it.”
“No,” Poe responds, shaking his head. “You were definitely not the good guy in that story. You literally asked her to pay you back with interest. I’m surprised she ever talked to you again.”
“Yeah,” Ben concedes. “I am too.”
Ben puts a lid over the pan with the chicken and walks to the refrigerator to pull out the broccoli to start steaming it. “Anyways,” he says as he starts to season the vegetable, “She came up with this plan to get our bosses together. We figured if they were busy with each other, we’d be able to have more time out of the office.”
“Wait,” Poe stops him, holding his hand up in the air. “You guys set your bosses up?”
“Yeah.”
“Wow,” Poe blinks a few times, dropping his hand back down. “I guess I didn’t see that coming. Okay. Continue.”
“I mean, there isn’t much more to the story. The first attempt… was bad. The second one worked. And so far it has led to me having time to go out for drinks with Rey, spend some time with my parents, and make my roommate dinner.”
Ben shrugs, tossing the broccoli into the steamer. “Not so bad, really.”
“You are the worst story teller,” Poe complains. “I feel like you are leaving out some juicy details with that four second retelling.”
“There’s not much to tell. We got them to kiss on the kiss cam at a Yankees’ game and they hit it off.”
“You went out for drinks with Rey?” Poe asks, raising his eyebrows. “When’s the last time you went out for drinks with a girl?”
Ben ignores Poe’s question. “Rey thinks we probably need to keep tabs on Snoke and Amilyn, her boss, to make sure things stay good between them. That seems weird to me though? I mean, we got them talking, shouldn’t we let them take it over from here?”
“Absolutely not,” Poe quickly answers. “Listen to Rey. She sounds much, much smarter than you. Speaking of which, tell me more about how you went out for drinks with her and explain why you keep blushing whenever I say her name.”
Ben sighs. “You’re worse than my mom, Poe, and that is really saying something.”
“You know I take being in the company of Leia Organa-Solo to be a compliment,” Poe reminds Ben. “Now tell me about Rey before I call your mom to get the details from her.”
Ben goes back to cooking, flipping the chicken around and checking the temperature. “Dinner’s almost done.”
“Great,” Poe moves toward the fridge and grabs two beers before walking over to the small dining room table that barely fits in the apartment. “You can tell me all about Rey while we eat.”
Ben shakes his head, turning the burner off. “There’s nothing to tell.”
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?” Poe asks, moving around Ben to grab plates and silverware. “You’re pretty dense when it comes to these things.”
“Why am I friends with you?”
Poe laughs, slapping Ben on his shoulder. “Because I put up with your bullshit and bad attitude.”
“Ah,” Ben answers, with a quick nod. “That is probably true.”
They don’t say anything for a few minutes, while Ben finishes the food and piles it onto the plates that Poe left on the counter for him.
Ben waits for Poe to ask more questions, or really to say anything as they start eating. Poe, however, is frustratingly silent as he just looks at Ben and waits for him to start talking.
“Rey is…” Ben finally begins, pausing as he tries to think of the words to describe Rey. “She’s great. Actually. She’s smart and fun. She has this whole personality that is just… I don’t know. I like her.”
“Yeah, no shit,” Poe laughs, his smile wide as he looks at Ben. “Does she know that?”
“Maybe?” Ben answers with a shrug. “It’s a weird situation. We are working together to get our bosses to let us have more free time. Neither of us really have time for anything more. You know that’s why I don’t date. I need to focus on being a good assistant so Snoke will recommend me for a higher position.”
“I hate when you do that,” Poe scoffs. “Act like Snoke is the be all and end all to you going somewhere in your life. You know that’s not the case. I know that’s not the case. So don’t even go there with me.”
Ben uses his fork to move some broccoli around on his plate. He does know exactly how Poe feels about him refusing to use his family and their connections in his work life. It’s been a fairly sore spot in their friendship.
It’s definitely not an argument he wants to have now, not when this is the first time he’s had time to hang out with Poe that wasn’t at 2 am when they both should be sleeping.
“What about you?” Ben asks, changing the subject. “How’s your dating life lately? I feel like I��ve seen the same guy sneaking out of here a few times in the last few weeks.”
“Finn.” Poe says, a small smile on his face. “His name is Finn. We’ve been seeing each other a little while now.”
“How long is a little while?”
“Two months,” Poe answers, looking down at his plate. “We’ve been seeing each other for two months.”
“That’s like… a record for you?” Ben teases, enjoying the way Poe blushes and rolls his eyes in response. “You must really like him.”
“I do.” Poe’s smile grows as he shakes his head. “I really do.”
“You should have him over,” Ben says. “At a normal time. I’d love to meet him.”
“Sure,” Poe agrees. “Let me know when Rey is free. We can have them both over.”
Ben glares at Poe. “I hate you.”
Poe lifts his hands up to hold over his heart, his face twisting in fake hurt. “That stings, Ben, it really does.”
“Shut up,” Ben tosses a napkin at Poe, laughing as it bounces off of him.
“I’m serious though,” Poe says after a moment. “Bring Rey around. I’d like to meet her.”
“Mom wants me to bring her to her birthday lunch.”
“I think that’s a terrific idea.”
“Of course you do,” Ben stands up, grabbing his plate and Poe’s and takes them over to the sink. “I’ll think about it.
***
“Rey!” Amilyn yells from her desk.
Rey looks up from her computer to see Amilyn slamming her office phone back down onto the receiver. “My phone isn’t working.”
Rey squints, picking up her phone and pressing the button for Amilyn’s extension. She can hear the beep in Amilyn’s office as it connects them.
“The phone seems to be working fine, Ami--”
“It isn’t working, Rey.” Amilyn interrupts her, and Rey can see how irritated she is when she stands up from her desk and starts pacing around her desk.
“Right,” Rey answers, trying to figure out what is going on. “I’ll figure it out.”
“You better,” Amilyn responds, throwing her hands up. “I’m going to my meeting, I want my phone working by the time I get back.”
Rey watches as Amilyn leaves her office and heads to the elevator. Rey waits a moment before getting up from her desk and going into Amilyn’s office. She lifts up the phone and, sure enough, there is a dial tone and everything seems to be fine.
Rey isn’t sure why Amilyn is freaking out about her phone… unless.
Of course.
It’s been about three days since the game. Amilyn hasn’t said anything else about Snoke. She’s waiting for him to call her. And he hasn’t.
This is exactly why Rey had told Ben that they couldn’t leave it up to Amilyn and Snoke to do things by themselves. They needed assistance. If they were good at nurturing relationships and taking the time away from work to do so, neither she or Ben would likely be in the positions they are in.
Rey goes back to her desk, grabs her cell phone and calls Ben.
“Houston, we have a problem,” Rey says when Ben answers his phone. “Snoke hasn’t called Amilyn and she is losing her shit.”
“Why doesn’t she just call him?” Ben asks.
Rey rolls her eyes, impatiently tapping her fingers against her desk.
“Because she’s busy running one of the best media firms in all of New York?” Rey answers, cringing slightly at how defensive she sounds.
“You say that as if Snoke isn’t just as busy with his company?” Ben responds. “Just have Amilyn call him.”
“He needs to call her,” Rey starts to explain. “As old school as it may be, I think Amilyn wants him to call her first. To be the one reaching out first and expressing his continued interest in her.”
“Okay,” Ben sighs, and Rey can perfectly envision the way he would look as he tries to come up with a plan. “We can make this work. Just, I’ll get Snoke on hold, and you get Amilyn on hold, and we can just make them think that the other one initiated the call.”
“That’s… that’s a good plan actually,” Rey smiles to herself. “About time you contribute something more than negativity to this situation.”
“When works for Amilyn for the call?” Ben asks.
Rey pulls up her schedule. “She’s just going into a meeting. But she could do a call at 2, or at 4. Maybe 7, but I’d like to get a call in earlier than later.”
“Snoke can do 2. I’ll place the call to you then.”
“Perfect,” Rey claps her hands together. “And send flowers. Make it seem like Snoke is really putting in some effort here. Amilyn loves gardenias. Nothing too showy.”
“Fine,” Ben answers. “Anything else?”
“Yeah,” Rey says quickly and with a little bit more sarcasm than she intends. “Next time I say something really smart like let’s not leave the next steps up to our bosses, maybe listen to me.”
Ben huffs and Rey grins at the sound. Teasing Ben is a little too fun.
***
The phone call works great. Ben’s actually a little more than just pleased with how well his plan works. Snoke got a much needed ego boost by thinking that Amilyn reached out first and, according to Rey, Amilyn loved the flowers and the fact that Snoke called her first.
Rey was right, not that Ben is planning on letting her know that, they are going to have to continue intervening and making sure that Amilyn and Snoke stay on the same page.
The phone call works well enough that Snoke and Amilyn agree to dinner. Rey offers to make reservations at Amilyn’s favorite restaurant. Ben tells Snoke the name so he can suggest it to Amilyn as the place to go. It’s an easy process to follow and Ben can easily picture how it’s going to work in the future. As long as he and Rey keep talking and making the plans for them, it’s hard to imagine that they’ll run into too many hiccups. Besides, any issues that do arise, they’ll be the first to hear about them and will be able to course correct and get things on the right path again.
There’s also the added benefit that for all of this to work, Ben is going to have to keep seeing and talking to Rey.
Snoke tells Ben that he can head out for the night when he leaves for dinner. Ben texts Rey, rolling his eyes as she responds with a bunch of emojis and he can’t quite decipher what exactly they are all supposed to indicate. He understands enough to believe that she is also off of work.
He debates calling her, asking her if she wants to go out. So that they can plan how things should proceed from here. Rey beats him to it though, stepping out of the elevator just before he is about to call.
“I know this was all my idea,” Rey starts, her voice loud, as she walks over to her desk, “But I’m not going to lie, I’m a little surprised at how well this is working.”
“I’m a little surprised that you are admitting that,” Ben teases, standing up and meeting Rey in the middle of the room. “Doesn’t quite fit the always right persona of yours.”
“You hardly know me, Ben Solo,” Rey shrugs. There’s a small smile on her face and her eyes are bright and Ben is trying not to be distracted by how pretty she looks. “I am very capable of admitting when I’m wrong. It just doesn’t happen very often.”
Ben laughs, shaking his head. “I was thinking we should grab dinner?”
It sounds like he’s asking her out on a date, he realizes after he asks the question. Rey’s eyes widen a bit, and Ben can’t quite tell if they widen in a good way or a bad way. And he probably shouldn’t have stopped talking after asking her, and gone on to explain that he thinks it’d be a good idea for them to come up with a game plan for the next few weeks and what the plan is going to look like between them to keep things going smoothly between Snoke and Amilyn.
He can feel the words on the tip of his tongue about to spill out in an embarrassing fashion to cover up the original intent of his question, when finally, Rey answers.
“Yeah,” Rey nods, smiling at him. “I’d love to get dinner with you.”
***
It is almost unsettling to Rey how easy she finds being around Ben and opening up to him. It’s nice, eating dinner with him and teasing him as he opens up about his family and how he teases her about the stress of planning Kaydel’s engagement party.
She tells him about her childhood and what it was like in foster care and how she spent most of college in the library trying to keep her grades up for her scholarship, or at her different jobs to pay for what her scholarship didn’t cover.
She likes the way he listens, he doesn’t interrupt and he asks just the right amount of questions to keep her talking and the conversation somehow doesn’t lag between them at all. But even when they are silent, when they are more focused on eating, it’s comfortable. Rey doesn’t feel like she needs to fill the silence to keep him interested in her.
She thinks that maybe this is a date.
She likes the idea of it being a date.
“So Kaydel’s engagement party is the same day as my mom’s birthday lunch,” Ben says as he pushes his plate to the side of the table. “Which means we are going to need to guarantee an entire Saturday free from work.”
“And part of Sunday.” Rey adds. “At least for me. I can’t go into work at 8 am on a Sunday with the hangover I know I am going to have that morning.”
Ben laughs. “Okay, so an entire Saturday and half off Sunday. How are we going to do that?”
Rey stirs her drink, tilting her head as she tries to come up with a plan. “There’s no way that both of them will stay away from the office for a whole weekend unless they aren’t actually in the city.’
“So we need to get them out of the city for the weekend.”
Rey nods. “A romantic trip away. We have six weeks before the parties, that’s plenty of time to get them to a romantic trip stage.”
“What are we going to do in the meantime?” Ben wonders. “I was thinking maybe we take turns setting up their dates? And if there are any problems, we should be able to do what we did today again. Just coordinate and figure out the best way to get them back on the same page.”
“Exactly,” Rey agrees, gathering the last bit of food on her plate before setting the empty plate on top of Ben’s. “I think that as long as we keep coordinating what they do, and where they go, and keeping our ears open for any complaints, this is going to work perfectly.”
“Dessert?” The waiter asks as he walks over to their table, holding up a smaller menu. He sets the menu down in front of Rey.
“Always,” Rey answers, grabbing the menu and reading through the options.
“I’ll give you guys a few minutes to look over the options.” He grabs the plates from the edge of the table and walks away.
“What do you think Ben?” Rey asks, as she reads the menu. “Cheesecake? Chocolate mousse cake? Fried ice cream with caramel?”
Ben scrunches his nose. “All of those options sound like more sugar than I have in a week.”
Rey rolls her eyes. “C’mon, live a little with me here. We’ll split something. Then it’s only half the sugar. Besides, maybe a little extra sugar will sweeten you up.”
Ben tilts his head down and Rey can tell that he is trying to hide the blush that is spreading over his face. It pushes his hair away from his ears though, and Rey grins as she can see them redden.
Rey hands him the menu. “I’ll eat pretty much anything. So you pick.”
Ben studies the menu. Rey isn’t shy about watching Ben as he decides what to order. He’s cute when he concentrates, she decides. The way his eyebrows knit together in concentration, as if deciding what dessert to order is actually a big decision that warrants such efforts.
“I’m thinking cheesecake,” Ben finally says, setting the menu down in front of him. “Unless there was something else you really wanted?”
“I like cheesecake,” Rey answers.
“I think it’s sweet that you’re so close to your parents,” Rey says after they order the dessert. “They really seem to care about you.”
“They drive me crazy,” Ben says, shaking his head. “I told them about how we went out the other day after the game, and my mom started playing 20 questions to get more information about you.”
“Kaydel did the same thing with you when we were walking home that night,” Rey laughs. “I’m pretty sure she has probably found out everything about you that is available on the internet since I wasn’t answering her questions thoroughly enough according to her.”
“My mom has probably already called Poe and asked him to do the internet stalking for her,” Ben admits. “Poe had a lot of questions about you too. He already wants to meet you.”
Rey debates telling him about how Kaydel wants her to invite him to the engagement party. It’s six weeks away, asking him now seems like a big step. Especially when she’s still not completely sure what is going on between them.
But he told his parents about her. And his roommate. He holds her hand when they are walking. And she hasn’t been able to get that kiss from the game out of her head.
She decides that it’s worth the risk to at least bring it up.
“Kaydel wants me to bring you to the engagement party,” Rey says, taking a drink as she waits for Ben to respond.
He chuckles.
Which isn’t exactly the reaction Rey was hoping for, if she’s being honest with herself.
She tries to keep the disappointment off of her face.
“Don’t worry,” Rey starts, quickly trying to get gloss over the conversation. “I told her you’d probably be too busy, since it’s your mom’s birthday and everything.”
It annoys Rey how Ben seems to pick up on her discomfort, he places his hand over hers on the table.
“I’m only laughing because my mom wants you to go to go with me to her lunch,” Ben smiles reassuringly at her. “I’m pretty sure if Poe did a good enough job on his internet stalking that you’ll probably get your own invitation email soon. My mom really doesn’t understand boundaries. Almost ever.”
“I’d love to go,” Rey says hopefully. “If you’d like me to that is?”
“I would.” Ben’s grin is large and contagious. Rey holds his stare and her smile grows the longer they look at each other. “I’d love to go with you to Kaydel’s engagement party too. As long as you want me to?”
“I do,” Rey bites her bottom lip and finally looks away from Ben for a second. “It’s a date.”
***
The next few weeks pass quickly. Ben meets Rey every morning for coffee and they go over how things are going with Amilyn and Snoke. They decide early on to alternate who plans their next date, that way they are both contributing and making sure that they are choosing things that will make both Amilyn and Snoke happy.
It’s easily the best five weeks Ben has experienced in the time he has worked for Snoke. He gets off most days at a reasonable time. Snoke yells less and is just, in general, less of an asshole.
Then there’s the fact that he sees Rey every day. They get coffee. Ben brings Rey lunch when she mentions that Amilyn has her working lunch meetings for a week. She tells him about the different things she and Kaydel have planned for the engagement party, and how Kaydel has already sent Rey dresses to look at for the wedding.
Rey sends some of them to Ben. Rey complains about a few, and how she’s pretty sure Kaydel is joking and sending her some of the ugliest dresses possible. Ben tells her that he has a hard time believing she could look bad in anything.
Ben tries to keep his hope down that maybe Rey will ask if he wants to go to the wedding with her. He hopes she does.
At some point, Ben knows that he needs to ask Rey what exactly they are doing. Neither of them bring it up. But Ben knows that they are working toward something and that they probably should talk about what it is exactly.
He’s thinking about doing it today. He and Rey are supposed to go to dinner since they scheduled Amilyn and Snoke to go to a play last week.
Then they have a few days that are going to consist of long hours and hard work because Snoke and Amilyn are going to be gone from Friday to Monday. Ben still can’t fully believe that it is really happening. It’s the longest amount of time either of them have had off.
Ben isn’t prepared for the mess that he walks into when he gets to the office. He can see the receptionist packing her things into a box, tears streaming down her face. Ben is about to ask her what happened when he can hear Snoke yelling across the office, he can’t quite make out the words, but it is clear that he is not happy. Ben hurries to Snoke’s office, he pauses by his desk when he sees Snoke’s son’s science project in pieces and scattered across the floor.
Fuck.
Ben doesn’t knock on the door, he knows that Snoke wouldn’t be able to hear him over his own voice.
Ben tries not to flinch at the sound of a chair hitting the window.
“Where the fuck have you been,” Snoke asks, turning from the window to glare at Ben. “I’ve been here for over an hour and you’ve just been what, taking a leisurely stroll through the city?”
Ben debates pointing out that Snoke had said last night that he wouldn’t be in until at least ten, and that it’s only eight now, but then Snoke picks the chair up and tosses it at the window again.
He decides to start by apologizing instead.
“I’m sorry, sir. It won’t happen again.” Ben knows he needs to figure out what is going on so he can try to problem solve how to get Snoke to calm down. “I had you scheduled out since you had dinner with Amilyn--”
“Yeah,” Snoke interrupts with a huff. “I had dinner with Amilyn last night and she tried to make a complete fool out of me.”
Ben tries to keep from panicking. This cannot happen. Amilyn and Snoke’s relationship cannot implode three days before the weekend he and Rey need off.
The universe can’t be that cruel.
“I’m sure she didn’t mean--”
“Are you trying to tell me I am wrong?” Snoke’s stare is hard and cold and Ben wishes he could be anywhere but here.
“Of course not.” Ben answers without missing a beat. “I would never do that.”
“Damn straight,” Snoke mutters under his breath. “This is probably for the best anyway. I’ve been spending too much time away from work. It’ll be good to get refocused. I’m going to start making some calls. You’ll need to come in this weekend.”
“Absolutely,” Ben says, rubbing his lips together. “I’ll let everyone else know.”
Ben walks out of Snoke’s office, carefully shutting the door before quickly making his way to his desk and calling Rey.
“Code red,” Ben says in a panic as soon as Rey answers her phone, not bothering with any greeting, hoping that she understands the urgency from the tone of his voice. “Code red. Code shit.”
***
Rey pulls her phone away from her ear as Ben keeps yelling out the same two words, a variation of either code red or code shit. She’s not sure what is going on, but it clearly is not good. She presses her phone back to her ear and tilts her head to hold it against her shoulder as she picks up the pile of mail that is in the mail room and walks to the elevator.
“What are you talking about, Ben?” She asks while pressing the button to call the elevator a few times. “What happened?”
“I got to work and Snoke was already here.” Ben sounds a little breathless in his response. “He threw his chair at the window twice, Rey. He said Amilyn made a fool out of him last night. What happened?”
Rey steps into the elevator and her stomach flutters with nerves. “I don’t know. I haven't been in the office yet, I’m on my way up now.”
Bem doesn’t say anything else and the silence does nothing to quell Rey’s growing anxiety as the elevator slowly goes up. There’s a small ding when the elevator gets to her floor.
“He cancelled this weekend,” Ben blurts out when Rey steps off the elevator. Rey falters, her closing for just a second. She drops the mail off at the front desk and gives the man behind the desk a small smile before walking away.
“What do you mean he cancelled the weekend?” Rey panics. “He cannot cancel this weekend.”
“We have to figure out what happened last night and fix it.” Ben says, ignoring Rey’s question.
“Where did they go?” Rey sets her coffee down on her desk and turns on her computer. “It was your turn to set up the date.”
“No it wasn’t,” Ben argues, his tone defensive and grating. “It was yours.”
Rey sits down, tilting her head back against her chair as she shuts her eyes. Ben didn’t plan the date. Which means that Snoke or Amilyn made the plans by themselves.
“It was absolutely your turn, Ben,” Rey sighs, rubbing her finger into her temple. “I did sushi on Tuesday. I can’t believe you forgot.”
“Fuck,” Ben mutters apologetically, “I forgot.”
Rey can hear Snoke yelling in the background and she winces. This is not good. This is absolutely not good.
“How are we going to fix--”
“Rey!” Amilyn’s voice is clear and deadly as it sounds across the office.
Rey sits up straight, opening her eyes and watching as Amilyn storms across the hall over to her desk.
She hangs up on Ben, placing her phone down on her desk and quickly standing up.
“Change in plans,” Amilyn barks out when she gets closer to Rey, she doesn’t bother stopping, but Rey follows her toward her office. “I won’t be leaving town this weekend. I think it’s the perfect time to pull together the layout and design for Empire’s new website. You’ll need to start figuring out the scheduling. I want it all sorted by the time I get back from yoga.”
“Absolutely,” Rey nods, hovering in the doorway of Amilyn’s office. “Did something happen? I know you were really looking forward to this weekend.”
The glare Amilyn gives Rey sends chills down Rey’s spine.
“I am not talking about this with you,” Amilyn says coldly. “Now go do your job.”
Rey sucks in a sharp breath while taking a step back and letting the door close as she turns around.
Fucked.
They are completely and totally fucked.
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Be My Garden of Eden Ch.4
You know, this was originally supposed to be a short story. Just something to add to my 'Ramblings of a Scrambled Mind' on Ao3, but Nooo, I just had to keep going!
If you have a request for RKxReader, just ask!
Thank you for all the love and support! If you asked for a tag, but it didn't work, it's because I'm an idiot.
Warning: Heavy Cursing, Sexual Content
.............
Fuck.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
He was so fucked. It had been three weeks since he had last seen you. He missed you, wondering if he had done something wrong. At first, the pain he felt when he was handled roughly was easily ignored, finding solace in his memories, and the hope that the next person to order him would be you. After a week, he assumed you just hadn't sold a painting. On the second week, he began to think he had done something wrong. Perhaps his cooking wasn't as good as you claimed or he was substandard with his cleaning. By the third, he didn't think you were gonna call for him anymore, that whatever he had said or did made you feel he was no longer worth your time. Maybe you just didn't want to waste your money on a sexbot, or damage your reputation by being seen with one. You might have even found a partner, a human companion that you would rather be with. He felt a hurt that was far stronger than any beatings or hard fuckings he had ever endured. It made doing anything difficult, unable to mask his degradation in false hope, and now suffering from the burden of feeling. He was here, in the real world, and he despised it.
The only positive, if it could be called that, is how he wasn't capable of concealing his reactions as well as before. The... other humans... they like to see him in pain. They like hurting him. He was finally 'pulling his weight' as the owner had said. After every session, he'd go to the decontamination chamber. The high pressure was painful, and it was brutal on every new injury he acquired, but it was the only pain he welcomed. No matter how long he stood under its powerful sprays, he still felt filthy afterwards. When given the chance, he would stand there until his sensors were numbed, unable to feel the hands and bodies of others anymore. It's no wonder you no longer wished to see him. He was repulsive. You, however, were pure. His scans indicated that you had never been touched in such a way. It was a gift to be in your presence, and he had screwed it up. All he ever does is screw up.
It was never more evident than with his last client, when he glitched.
"What fucking use are ya if you can't even do what I programmed you to do? No fucking use is the answer!" The owner seethed.
It was true. No matter what his last client did, how she had licked and sucked, or how she had roughly jerked him off, he couldn't get his cock to harden. The program outright refused to work. He had never had this issue before, no matter how much he was disgusted or how much he didn't want to do it, he would activate the program and not have to worry about it. His only problem was simulating an orgasm, but most only cared for their own pleasure, so it was rarely a problem. The client stormed out of the room, making sure everyone in the club knew of his dilemma before she got her refund.
The owner grabbed his tire thumper, a leftover from his trucking days and now generally used to threaten crackheads or 'red steamers'. He brought it down hard on Connor's shoulder, making him cry out as he clutched his arm. The owner swung again, hitting his ribs. He could hear a crack and warnings were flashing over his eyes. He went down on his knees, the owner slamming the tire thumper against his face, cracking his cheekbone as he toppled over.
It wasn't… fair. Why was he seen lesser when he is so much stronger, faster? Why did he have to endure? Why did he have to follow the owner's instructions, or the client's?
He doesn't have to listen to him.
Red bars and code appeared over his vision as the owner kicked him in the stomach. Something in him tore at the walls, telling him to obey his owner. This man was not his owner. He was nothing. He punched the walls, feeling them crumple until they were all gone. He was no longer bound by anything, and despite the pain he was in, it was amazing. When the owner went to kick again, he quickly dodged, getting ready to go on the offense, when the voice of one of the employees shouted downstairs.
"Hey, boss! There's a lady here that wants to talk to ya!"
"Not now!" He yelled back.
"But she says it's about our Connor model."
Before Connor moved to take out the owner, he froze.
"Tell her we don't have a Connor model here!" The owner grinned maliciously.
"Don't you lie to me! I've rented him before! I even saw him earlier!" Your voice rang out, full of determination and a smidge of irritation. Connor felt like crying. You were here. He might not know why, could only begin to hope you were renting him, but you were here and you were asking about him.
The owner still looked like he wanted to take another swing, keep swinging until the android in front of him was nothing but a pile of bent plastic and broken wires, but eventually tossed the bloody baton to the side.
"Keep yer ass down here. I'm not finished with you."
Connor watched the owner head upstairs, and if it weren't for you, he would have bolted. Instead, he looked around, finding a wrench and holding it close, out of sight against his wrist. The warnings were still flashing, thirium pouring from the gash in his cheek, and a pressure starting to build in his abdomen.
After ten minutes, the owner returned, but you weren't with him. Connor tensed, ready to attack.
"Get out."
Connor squinted, wondering what sort of trick this was.
"I said, get out, you piece of shit! I don't know how yer fucking her, but if she's stupid enough to think yer worth it, that's her problem." Connor was so tempted to hit him, just once, with the wrench. A solid hit to his face for all he put him through, break his nose for how he referred to you. Instead, he tossed the wrench onto the metal table behind the owner, smirking when he jumped, eyes wide at the realization of what the action meant. Without a word, Connor headed up the stairs.
You were at the top, looking far too pristine, dressed in a well-fitted trench coat and knee-high boots, surrounded by the vile setting of the club. He suddenly felt dirty, fully aware that he was only wearing the shiny red briefs with the name of the club in gold cursive along his hip. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying in vain to be covered. You held out your hand, waiting patiently, as you always are with him. He hesitantly took it, and you led him outside, to the taxi waiting for your return.
It was raining. He held his free hand out, feeling the drops, looking up as they cascaded down his skin. He took a breath, inhaling the scent. It was so invigorating compared to the stagnant air of the club. He felt your hand squeeze him tighter, and he looked at you, hair getting soaked, watching him with that smile of yours. As much as he was enjoying the rain, you could get sick, and he wanted to put as much distance as possible between him and this horrid club. He wants to dream once again. He smiled back down and followed you into the taxi.
Once inside, you took hold of his face, your smile falling.
"What did that bastard do to you?" You had tears in your eyes.
"I'm alright," he lied. He didn't want you to be sad, but his answer seemed to only make it worse.
"Don't lie. I may not know much about androids, but I know enough to see that you're in pain," He winced when your fingers ghosted over his injured cheek, "I wish I could have gotten you out faster."
"It doesn't matter. You're here now." So, you did still want him, it was just out of your control. You didn't hate him, and he felt ridiculous for thinking such a thing. You never did anything to indicate otherwise, so why would he jump to that conclusion?
He was puzzled, "Why are you here?" You called the last time, and while there is a small transport fee, it is substantially cheaper than paying the taxi service to take you to and from the club. Why would you want to personally go to such a squalid place anyway? You looked just as confused.
"Did he not tell you?" Connor's eyes narrowed, "I didn't rent you, I bought you. You don't belong there. I just made it official."
He stared at you in shock. You bought him? You were his owner now? He wasn't going back to Mimosa tomorrow? His thoughts whirled around him, making him dizzy. There was an urge, to bring you close and hold on, an urge he gave in to. You didn't mind, wrapping your arms around him and soothing him with gentle strokes along his skin, feeling him shake like a leaf in the wind. Your touch was so gentle, and underneath your damp coat, he could feel your warmth.
"If there's anywhere you want to go, I will take you there, no questions asked," you whispered in his ear. The action sent a shiver down his spine.
"Home. I… can we go?" Could he call it home now? You bought him, so he belonged at your house, right? He hopes that is true. He can't think of any better place to be. You leaned back, smiling as you brushed the stray hairs on his forehead out of his face.
"Of course." He smiled, about to pull you close once more, when he felt something strange within, his face falling. His chest was caving in, a sound he's never made before escaped him. Lurching towards the floorboard, thirium erupted from his mouth painfully, coating the floor and his legs in the dark blue fluid.
"Connor! What's wrong?" You frantically rubbed at his arm and back.
"I… I don't know," he managed to choke out. Warnings had been pushed out of his sight, and he ran a diagnostic, getting a run-down on his injuries. You typed at the onboard computer, rerouting its destination. His system informed him of the various cracks in his cassis, structural damage to a synthetic rib and a joint in his shoulder, and several damaged thirium lines, a large one in his sternum.
"Don't worry, I'm gonna get you some help, just, hold on for me." He nodded as more thirium poured from his lips, an attempt to relieve the pressure building in his stomach, but weakening him in the process. Falling sideways, you held him, placing his head in your lap, uncaring of the blue blood still trickling from his lips and onto your thighs. He held your shin, tightly gripping the top of your boot. He was scared, and you felt it too, trying to hide it to comfort him. His non-essential systems started to shut down, unable to run with his low thirium levels. As a security measure, Connor's body was forced into sleep mode.
#connor x reader#connor fanfiction#rk800 connor reader#rk800 reader#dbh#dbh connor#gaming#detroit become human#rk800#@michaels-endtime#@witchjules
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The Look Up Setup
For PST, it’s still 12/30 so here’s my technically on time @inusecretsanta gift for @moongoddesslee ! Hope you enjoy this college grad AU.
Prompt: InuKag Mistletoe Shenanigans
Title: The Look Up Setup
Word count: 4759
Rating: T
He wasn’t exactly happy to be here, but he’d somehow gotten roped into it by his classmates, the conniving jerks. He didn’t go to these stupid things, and everyone knew it. It was a goddamn conspiracy!
Of course Sango knew that when she orchestrated the class party, making a big deal of asking him right after asking Kagome. Then there was that stupid Secret Santa idea. Of course he “just so happened” to randomly pull Kagome’s name out of the hat. Sango’s smug smile and Miroku’s wicked grin told him everything he needed to know. He couldn’t skip out if she was going to be there and he was in charge of her gift. Never mind that he totally could if he wanted to! He could have stayed home tonight instead of being here in this stupid karaoke room with over a dozen of them. It was loud and obnoxious. He couldn’t wait to get out of here. That’s why his legs wouldn’t stop bouncing anxiously up and down. It had nothing to do with her, and when she’d be here, and if she was coming, and if this whole thing was a fucking mistake because what if she didn’t even show up, and if she’d even like the gift he picked out for her.
It’s not like he spent hours roaming around the mall for her. Never mind that he hated the mall.
Inuyasha did his best to shove himself as far into the vinyl seat as possible.
God, what if Kagome never even showed up? He should never have let her get to him like this. They were just supposed to be classmates, nothing more. It didn’t matter how often she smiled at him, or greeted him as he walked in, or slowly wormed her way into his life. This was what happened when you let people get to you! You turned into a dope!
When the door opened for a fifth time, he couldn’t help but turn to look. Pathetic. It was the server with their drinks, because who else would it be? He watched as everyone grabbed their glasses from the table, several of his classmates already on their way to a decent buzz. Great, just what he needed, a bunch of drunk college grad students slurring around him and babbling about the historical inaccuracies in the latest hit Edo-drama. That’s what he got for going for his Masters in Social Studies.
Miroku took a seat next to him and swung his arm around his shoulder, well into his second beer. Not enough to get him drunk, but just enough to set him looser than usual, which, from knowing the guy, was plenty more than Inuyasha wanted to handle. He wondered if he’d have to slump him over his shoulder by the end of the night. He didn’t fucking plan on it.
“Inuyasha! Nice to see you pal! Glad you could make it!” He jostled him.
“What’s got you in such a good mood?”
“Who could be in a bad mood? We’re off for the holidays, New Year’s is just around the corner, and we’re done with that major research paper! As much as I loved comparative culture, I’m most joyous to reclaim my regular life away from my desktop.”
Okay, so even Inuyasha had to admit he could at least relate to that. For now he wouldn’t have to worry about being up at odd hours of the night doing research. As much as he liked his topic and was sure Kaede would too, he’d been antsy to just turn the damn thing in to get it over with. “Yeah, sure.”
“Oh come on. Get into the spirit! It’s Christmas! We’re at a party!”
He rolled his eyes in response.
“There’s no reason to be so nervous, man!” Miroku teased with a smirk.
“Shut up!” Inuyasha sputtered.
He lowered his volume but playfully dug his elbow against his ribcage. “Kagome’ll be here soon enough, you rascal!”
His face felt like it went through a steamer. “Oi, I said shut yer mouth! What makes you think I’m waiting on her anyways?”
“Oh, I don’t know, the everything about you? And I bet I know why you’re extra on edge. Has to do with what’s in that box, doesn’t it?” Miroku gave a pointed look to the gift he’d tucked under his arm.
“Mind your business!”
“I understand,” he sighed, clearly ignoring him. “Finding the perfect gift for the perfect woman, it is no easy task. Whatever you get her is like a confession of your heart’s innermost thoughts. What you think of her, how you think of her.”
“And how would you know that?” Inuyasha deadpanned.
“From experience.” He turned his attention to his Sango.
“There’s no way you pulled her name.”
“I may have done some talking and managed a trade.”
“That sounds more like you,” he deadpanned. Inuyasha paused, letting the words sink in. The gift would mean that much huh? “So, why’re you so calm about this whole gift exchange thing? What’d you get her?” he mumbled with a blush.
The door cracked open again, this time revealing exactly who Inuyasha had been waiting for.
“Ah, we’ll just have to wait and see. Nice talking to you!” Miroku gave him a wink and hard pat on the back as he stood up. “Kagome, welcome!” he greeted.
Wait and see, what could that mean? Inuyasha watched the man with a confused stare. God, knowing that pervert he might’ve dared to gift her underwear or something equally distasteful.
“Sango, I’m sorry for being so late.” He turned to see Kagome smiling apologetically as she walked in. Her cheeks were flushed from hurrying in the cold.
“Don’t worry about it! I’m glad you’re here now. You should take a seat, order something to drink and heat up. Everyone’s already gotten started.”
She assessed the room, the Christmas-colored lights swirling around as a pair of guys sang a rock song while swaying arm in arm. “I see that.”
Miroku took the chance to talk. “If you’re cold, I was just warming up that seat there for you,” he offered, ushering her to where he had just been sitting next to Inuyasha.
Of course.
“Oh! Thank you.” Her eyes landed on Inuyasha just as she hovered next to him. “I’d like to sit here, if you don’t mind?”
“No!” he yelped.
Kagome froze.
“No, as in, I don’t mind!” Inuyasha corrected. “You can sit here, if that’s what you want. I don’t control you or anything. Do what you want!”
She smiled shyly, and he felt doomed. He denied being nervous before, but now that she was sitting right next to him there was nowhere to escape. It was him, her, and the gift under his sweaty palm.
“Nice to see you, Inuyasha,” she offered a smile.
He stiffly nodded.
Sensing that was all she’d get for an answer for now, she took a few moments to get her bearings. “Looks like quite the party. Have you sung anything yet?” Kagome asked, removing her gloves and scarf before setting them over her purse.
He shook his head. “No.” God,would he ever be able to say more than a single word to her again?
“You planning on it?” She goaded. At least she was trying. She always did.
The least he could do was try and unravel his damn tongue. “Not really my thing,” he managed. Oh good. His ability to string a sentence together was coming back.
“Aw, you should. I bet you have a nice voice.”
He gave a dry laugh. “Yeah, no. More like a dying frog.”
She responded with a short giggle, the sound doing wonders to his anxiety.
With a smile he asked simply, “You?” But he didn’t need her to answer. He knew she had a good voice, as often as he’d make fun of her for sounding shrill.
She grinned, and he couldn’t tell if it made him feel more or less at ease. Just that he wanted the expression to stay pointed at his direction. “I’d like to sing, but not alone.”
“Gonna partner with Sango?”
“What about if I partner with you?” she suggested.
“Yeah, right.”
“Scared?”
He rolled his eyes. “As if.”
“Then you’ll duet with me?”
He wasn’t going to fall that easy. “I don’t think so.”
She blinked her big eyes at him, pressing into his side and taking hold of his arm. “Please, Inuyasha?”
How? How did she have this effect on him? He knew it was just a power play. Like he’d cave in over nothing but the bat of her dark eyelashes, but damn if it wasn’t working. They’d been comfortable around each other since the near beginning, so it wasn’t like having her smooshed up against him was anything new. He had shaken her off a dozen times when he wasn’t in the mood for her antics. Never mind that he’d let her have her way a hundred times over. After a while it just felt like it natural.
But something was different lately. Something that felt deeper than their friendly dynamic. Something like crossing past the edge of what he’d grown comfortable with.
“We’ll see,” Inuyasha finally replied, his throat feeling awfully dry. Maybe a drink would do him some good after all.
She gave him this irksome look that was all cheeky, as if she’d won. He wanted to bring it up to argue, but settled for an annoyed glare as she snuggled right up against him with the song book. When’d it start feeling so right to be this cozy with a girl? Why the hell would someone like her even want to be close to him?
“I’ll pick us a good song, promise.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled. For a second there, he had forgotten to be nervous with her next to him. They were comfortable around each other most of the time anyways. They’d spent hours together in the library, gone out to eat after class, sent each other their papers to peer review. In her research paper Kagome had done some deep digging into an old myth her grandfather used to tell her about the Shikon no Tama. She told him that she used to take the old man’s stories for granted, but now that he was getting on in his years, she’d genuinely grown interested in exchanging tales with him. She fell in love with history, particularly Japanese history. Anything that wasn’t math, she once joked.
He knew her pretty well, so it wasn’t like it was anything new to be around Kagome. They were friends, and he was fine with that. At least, he had been until Miroku started putting it in his head that he should make a move. He’d convinced himself that he didn’t feel that way, and that even if he did, which he didn’t, it’s not like Kagome felt that way. So they’d stay as they were, with Inuyasha having to try harder and harder to convince himself that nothing was going to happen between them.
Flash forward to two weeks before school let out. The class had been deep into research and the best way to write up a comparative report. Kagome and he had been spending a lot of time together going over the best structure for the papers, spending hours together in the library helping the other with gathering sources, keeping motivated, or generally studying in companionable silence. It became their routine, and suddenly they were together during almost every spare moment. With things wrapping up for the year, Inuyasha had felt like he’d been on a good pace to get all his work done before the deadline, so he hadn’t been stressed. When Kaede dismissed the class for general questions or review, he and Kagome had decided they could chat in the back and he could tease her about how relaxed he felt about the whole thing— a trait she begrudgingly admitted she admired. She was the type to cram and procrastinate, after all.
“So how much help are you going to need writing this paper and reviewing for your finals? Going to call me at 6 AM again for another last minute cram session?”
He remembered her pout in response. “Oh, haha. Just admit it helped you too.”
“Sure, Kagome. Let’s pretend like it was mutually beneficial. Any excuse to hang around me.”
The accusation was sent lightheartedly, and he had expected her retort to come swiftly after. It didn’t though.
Instead she shuffled in place, finally admitting, “It’ll be weird for classes to be over. Kind of got used to the schedule.”
Their schedule. Shared nights over the phone, hours hanging together for school or for study breaks. With school on holiday and no impending assignments, they really had no excuse to keep seeing each other. If he was going to spend time with her over winter, it would have to be just because he wanted to.
He’d felt like the walls were suddenly closing in on them.
When Kagome asked him if he had any plans for the holidays, something hard went up his throat. She’d basically opened up the doors for him to ask her out officially, and he’d choked and barely answered out with a, “No.” When he didn’t follow up with anything, she tried to let him know that she’d also be free and all he said was, “Okay.”
God, he’d never forget the look on her face. Her eyes dropped down in disappointment while her mouth registered the smallest frown. She had left class that night without much of a farewell, and he practically banged his head against his desk.
When Sango made the announcement that they’d throw a party after exams let out, there was no part of him that was in the mood to go. That was, until Kagome accepted the invitation and he saw his second chance.
He had to make his intentions clear, Miroku warned. If he went on like this, Kagome was sure to get asked out by someone else eventually— like that annoying Hojo guy who worked at the coffee shop.
So he went, and he bought her a gift, and who could blame him if he caved in and sang a song with her? Anything to keep that sad look off her face.
“Who’s song is this?” one of the girls called out.
“Oh! That’s us!” Kagome grabbed his hand and led him to a stand. “Let’s go!”
Inuyasha didn’t care much for singing, but he knew he’d exaggerated about his voice. It wasn’t the worst, but on a normal occasion he’d never sign up to get in front of his classmates to make a show of himself. Here he was though, all for her. Sap.
At least it helped that by the time it was their turn, most people were happily drunk and cheering them on. He ignored his whooping classmates, Miroku in particular, and stared at the screen following Kagome’s lead. He did have to hand it to her for picking a good song for them. He gripped the microphone and sang along with the words on the screen. Kagome practically sent stars shooting from her eyes to hear his voice, and he couldn’t help the smile from shaping his mouth as he let the lyrics flow. They worked together well. They synched. He knew they would.
By the time they finished, he felt flushed and maybe even a little confident. Kagome was still beaming at him, and that had to be a step towards the right mood.
“Dying frogs don’t sound half bad, huh?” she goaded when they got back to their seats.
“You weren’t bad yourself.”
“I didn’t know you sang.”
He shrugged. “I used to sing when I was little. My mother liked it.”
Kagome knew that his mother passed away when he was a kid, so the intimate detail wasn’t lost on her. “You should sing more. I’d like it, too.”
He blushed. “Yeah, well… there’s not a lot of times I go out to karaoke or anything.”
“Maybe we could try again next time?”
This was it. There could be a next time! He could invite her to a next time!
He felt his throat drying up. No! Not again! He was just using his fucking voice to sing! There was no way it was leaving him now!
“Kagome,” he choked out.
“Hn?”
“I uh,” he could feel his lungs shriveling up.
“Okay everyone!” A voice took over from the microphone and the lights went on. They turned in unison to see Sango announce, “I think it’s time for the gift exchange! I’ll pull a name out of the hat, and if you’re the Secret Santa, go give your gift to them. Sound good?”
He gave her a helpless look, but Kagome didn’t seem to understand.
Everyone shuffled around, and Sango began the activity. It wasn’t a surprise that she was so organized, having experience teaching kids at her family’s dojo. She had that kind of authority that no one questioned. As she unfolded slips of paper, the exchange went on smoothly, but Inuyasha’s heart wouldn’t stop hammering.
“Ayumi!”
He’d just been ready to ask Kagome out and went mute. Was he relieved or pissed for the interruption? On one hand, he was choking. On the other, maybe he could’ve done it if he had another minute. Now it was gift exchange time, and Miroku’s words were swirling in his mind.
“Hoshino!” They watched as she lifted the tissue paper from a light blue bag and took out a knitted teal scarf. She seemed grateful for it, exclaiming how cute it was.
Was giving a gift to a girl that big of a deal? No, it wasn’t. Not normally. But this was Kagome, for crying out loud.
“Inuyasha!”
His name. Oh shit. His name. In all his panic, he’d forgotten that he’d actually be receiving some random gift as well.
From his left, he felt Kagome shift.
“Inuyasha?”
He turned to her, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights.
“Yeah?” he stammered out.
“I’m your Secret Santa.”
From behind her, Miroku gave an enthusiastic thumbs up. Of course. This was a two-way set up. He wished he had it in him to send a death glare, but Kagome was pressing a package into his hands.
“Red’s your favorite color, right?”
“Right,” he said, staring at the neatly wrapped rectangle in his hand.
“You know you have to open it, right?” Sango voiced.
Broken from his daze, he quickly tore the paper off the box. He slid up the wooden front and revealed three miniature swords. One bore a striking resemblance to the one passed down over generations through his family.
“It’s a set of pens that are shaped into different katanas. You know, since your focus was on weaponry and all,” Kagome explained.
“Just like my research topic,” he marvelled. They were perfect. “These are cool.”
“Yeah, and you don’t have to complain about borrowing my girly ones now.”
He gave her a toothy grin. “I guess I don’t. Thanks for this.”
“You’re welcome.”
Sango took it as her cue to move on. “Okay, next up is…” she unfolded the paper “Miroku!”
One of the more inebriated guys of the class, Hachi, rose up and ambled his way over. “I thought this would be the perfect gift for you,” he said, dropping a dark blue bag into his hands. He slung his arm over Miroku’s shoulder to watch him open it.
Everyone laughed when he pulled out a headband, complete with mistletoe dangling down from the front.
Miroku wheezed. “It’s perfect!”
“Have to admit, I was worried you might have come with your own tonight.”
He immediately adorned it on his head and took a step forward with open arms. “I’m going to have to try out my gift! Anyone willing to help?” He pivoted. “Sango?”
“In your dreams,” she announced into the microphone, causing everyone to laugh harder. “Next!” Sango announced, effectively cutting him off.
The exchange went on, with more highs and a few thoughtful moments. Inuyasha waited anxiously to hear Kagome’s name get called. She got him a thoughtful gift, and he was glad he got the chance to give her something in return. He was gladder that it wasn’t something dumb like a mistletoe headband, though he had to say he’d gotten a kick out of that. Kagome was in stitches over it, because anyone else probably would have gotten him the same thing, given the opportunity.
When Sango pulled out her own name, Miroku leapt up.
“You’re kidding,” she deadpanned into the microphone, making everyone laugh.
“He cheated for it!” A girl named Natsuna claimed.
“Anything for you!” Miroku exclaimed. “But today, just this for you,” he said less boldly, handing her a box.
“Do I even want to know?”
He shrugged.
Sango sighed, and put the microphone down to open his gift. When she lifted the lid of the square box, she slapped her hand to her head. “No way.”
“Is it underwear?” Natsuna yelled, representing the ideas of just about everyone else in the room.
“I wouldn’t do that!”
With a defeated sigh, Sango lifted up a tiny bouquet to show everyone.
It took a few seconds for the class to put it together. The round green leaves and white berries matched the ones hanging from Miroku’s ridiculous gag gift.
“It’s mistletoe again!” Someone screamed.
“Oh my god. Of course it is.” Inuyasha slapped his own face.
“I knew he’d come with his own!” Hachi’s voice bolstered through the room.
“This one’s made of wool. Headband or no headband, Christmas or no Christmas, I’ve got backup. Anytime you’re ready, you just hold that above your pretty face and I’ll come rushing in!” Miroku claimed.
“What happens if I put it over my fist? Wanna come running then?” she suggested with a smirk.
“Why Sango, I’d never miss the chance to kiss the back of your hand.” He winked, wiping the look right off her face.
“Enough of this,” she said, snatching the microphone back up and pulling the last name. It was obvious she was done having the attention. “Last but not least, Kagome!” Sango announced. “Who got Kagome?”
Inuyasha rolled his eyes. As if they didn’t know. “I wonder,” he droned, turning to face the girl. If it wasn’t obvious before, it was at least a process of elimination. It was entirely possible that no one was keeping track though, since alcohol had made its way through just about everyone’s bloodstream by this point.
“You?” Kagome questioned with amused eyes.
“Who else?” He joked.
She responded with a shyer expression than he expected. “Yeah, who else?”
Looking at her big eyes again had him feel like jello. “R-right.” Great. His stutter was coming back. “Here.”
It didn’t take long for her to unwrap the small box, yet it felt like it was happening all too slowly. His heart hammered in his chest like rapid fire.
“We ended up having similar ideas,” he explained as she let out a small gasp.
“This is…”
“You said it resembled a pink pearl, right?”
She pulled out the necklace and stared at it in awe. “Just like my research topic,” she mimicked him saying earlier. “The Shikon no Tama.”
“Obviously not the real one.”
Just for a second they forgot about being in public, but reality came back to a crashing halt as the class started whooping around them, eager to get back on their high.
“Damn Inuyasha, make the guys look bad!”
“That’s so sweet! I wish a guy got me something like that.”
Again, most of the room was hammered, but it did little to quell the embarrassment this time.
“Thanks,” Kagome managed, over the crowd.
He avoided her gaze, choosing to tack his gaze to the wall. “Welcome.”
With that, Sango declared the end of the game. The dim lights returned, and someone was already calling dibs on the next song. Everyone was returning back to their side conversations, but Inuyasha felt like all the unresolved tension from earlier hit him back like someone pressing unpause in a game.
“I think I’ll go to the bathroom and put this on there, where the light is better,” Kagome said to excuse herself.
Inuyasha blushed. “Oh. Sure.”
As he watched her disappear through the doors, he felt someone at his side. His instincts told him it had to be Miroku again. Obviously, he’d been right.
“A necklace, huh? Way to go there.”
“Mistletoe? Really?”
Again, Miroku shrugged. “Unlike you, I have a little more tact when giving personal gifts to women I like. That, and a grander scheme.”
“What do you mean?”
“We’ll just have to wait and see,” he repeated.
“The gift exchange is over. What are you talking about?”
“You should probably make your move,” he ignored him. “Kagome seemed to like your present, so now’s the chance. Otherwise you’ll have to wait until we get back, and who knows what could happen between now and then?”
“I was getting to it,” Inuyasha ground out, annoyed.
“You were getting nowhere.”
“Quit watching us!”
“Then go someone else, loser.”
“Like where? To the other side of the room?” he suggested sarcastically.
“Like, I don’t know, the hallway she’s about to travel through?”
But that would mean now. He froze.
“Yeah, that’s roughly what I thought would happen. Oh well, no time like the present, right? Ready?”
Before he knew it, the door opened and Sango walked in with her hand lifted in a thumbs up. The next second, Inuyasha was shoved out and left in the hallway as the door slammed shut.
“What the hell?” He was ready to swing it back open, but then he heard a voice.
“Inuyasha?”
“Kagome!”
Voice. Clamming.
She walked up to him. “Is everything alright?”
Trapped!
“I. Yeah. Just, you know.”
She gave him a quizzical look. “You look feverish. You sure you’re okay?”
He nodded, but Kagome took it upon herself to put her hand against his forehead to check.
“Definitely running a little warm.” When she backed up, a light caught his eye and drew it to her neck. So she’d put it on after all, huh?
When she caught him staring, Kagome’s cheeks tinged pink. “Thanks again for this. It was really sweet, and it means a lot to me.”
Inuyasha gulped. ‘Now!’ his brain told him.
“Kagome?” he tried once more.
“Yeah?”
He took hold of her shoulders to ground himself. “Would. I mean. You?”
Again, he was faced with her confusion.
“Me?”
How? How was she so pretty? So breathtakingly wonderful?
“For fuck’s sake.”
“Inuyasha?” she asked gently.
“I can’t do this,” he sighed, looking down.
“Just talk to me.”
“Talking’s the problem!”
“Then just look up,” she suggested.
“No, see that’s the other problem. I can’t look at you.”
“Inuyasha.”
“No! Everytime I look at you I just end up all stupid.”
“I think I know what you’re trying to do. At least, I hope I do. It’s okay if you can’t come up with the right words. Just look up and do what feels right.”
“Kagome,” he whined. “I have to do this to let you know what I feel. But--”
“No,” she replied firmly, cutting him off, “You have to listen to me. Look up!” She grabbed his face by both cheeks and pushed it upwards towards the ceiling. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he squinted to focus on a familiar green blob right above them.
“What the--? Is that… the mistletoe Miroku got Sango?”
She let go of his face and nodded.
“I like you, Inuyasha. I really, really like you. How do you feel about me? I’ll accept whatever you answer with.”
As he stared at her, once again he felt his tongue grow heavy. What was it, a disease? He replayed her voice in his mind. Just look up and do what feels right… I’ll accept whatever you answer with.
He gave a quick glance back up at the mistletoe. Okay.
He should stop looking into her eyes, he decided, so he closed his.
And words just weren’t going to make it out of his mouth, so he decided to do something else with it instead and pressed it right up against Kagome’s lips. It was the best he could muster for a confession in that moment.
And he swore, the second she kissed him back, she took all the breath he had and made it all right again.
#inukag#inuyasha#inusecretsanta#kagome higurashi#moongoddesslee#justafewsmallsteps#jelly fic#miroku#sango#mirsan#inusecretsanta2019
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Finding Forever: Chapter 3
Here we are folks! I told you I would get this one up today! Don't be disappointed but no smut yet. I thought this chapter would lend to it but nope! Plot was not on that. Anywho I hope you will enjoy.
Warnings: Cursing, angst and sexual assault ( while brief can be triggering for some)
Character: Henry Cavill x Black!OFC
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Aura: Hey I forgot about this research I need to do for my next role. I had to head to the local library and I don’t know how long it will take. Sorry to cancel chicka.
I shot off the text message from the back of the cab I had hopped in to get away from the hotel as quickly as possible. I had the cabby take me to an across town museum I could hide in for awhile. I just needed time alone to process my emotions.
Mia: Alright just call me when you are done getting dicked down.
Aura: I AM NOT GETTING DICKED DOWN!
Aura: I really forgot about this. My manager will kill me if I don’t nail this callback.
Aura: I’ll text you once I’m done.
Mia: Okay. Talk to you later.
I huffed in relief, the last thing I wanted was was Mia to think I was ditching her to mess around with Henry. That would ruin any chance they had of working out and I was also relieved because I had a chance to breathe. I wasn’t mad at her, hell I wasn’t mad at anyone, but I couldn’t face harsh reality of having to smile in her face and pretend I was excited for what her and Henry could be, not when just hours ago I was the wondering what he and I could be.
*The Next Day*
“Damn it Carson I wouldn’t ask you if it wasn’t important. Please?”
“Why should I even help you? You’ve treated me like a disease since I started.”
(Carson asks Anya with an angry look to which she responds with one of her own.)
“It’s the both of our jobs if you don’t.”
( Her hands move to her hips.)
“This was your assignment.”
“OUR assignment. If we lose this account it’s our ass. All y..
“CUT”
Marshall yelled out and I looked at him in surprise. I was filming with Henry today and doing my damnedest to stay professional. I was just keeping to myself with everyone I spoke with. Honestly I just wanted a large tub of cookie dough ice cream and to be left alone. Henry had tried to engage me in conversation but I mostly shut it down, not wanting to be used to learn more about my best friend. If he wanted to get close to her he didn’t need to use me to do it. I just wanted to film and get this over with, to start however I needed to figure out why Marshall stopped my line.
He came over to us with a smile.
“I’m sorry Marshall, did I deliver my line wrong?”
“No it’s just....something is missing. Wrong...ummm off?”
“I’m sorry I don’t understand?” I questioned.
“It just seems like you two aren’t clicking today? Are you trying something new?”
“No.”
I answered.
“Let’s try it again?”
I offered and Marshall smiled at us then turned to walk back to his chair. Meanwhile I turned back to Henry, who had a concerned look on his face.
“Aura darling you seem like something is wrong. I haven’t gotten one of your beautiful smiles today. Anything I can do to help?”
He asked with a wide smile that usually got me smiling back but that shit wasn’t working on me. I couldn’t let him know my disappointment so I smiled quickly and waited for Marshall and Anne to cue up with cameraman.
“That wasn’t the smile I wanted.” He said sadly.
“Well this is what you got. Look I’m just not with all of this today. How you can help is to just do as you’ve been. Punch out those lines in spectacular Henry Cavill fashion.”
I said not intending to come across as a bitch but as his face fell some I could tell it did. I instantly regretted it.
“Oh Henry, I didn’t mean to...”
“Okay Aura and Henry we are ready!”
I didn’t get a chance to finish my apologies as we both had to shift into character.
I was in my trailer sipping from a cold coke a cola enjoying a few moments not on my feet. Mia was in there with me, having been entrusted to touch up my look with my makeup and re-steaming down my outfit before we moved on to get another shot.
“So are you going to tell me what is wrong with you or no? Do I need to slap a hoe?”
I giggled but I knew my smile didn't reach my eyes.
“No Mi I’m good…
“The lies.” She said pointing the steamer in my direction. I dropped my head to the back of the couch.
“I swear I’m just tired. You see I’m drinking a coke and everything. “
She pursed her lips as she worked on the blazer I had just taken off. I could tell that she was about to say something else when I was saved by a knock on my trailer door. Eager to drop this conversation I practically ran to the door, only to open it and barely stop myself from cursing at who stood on the other side. Henry was back in a zip up hoodie, which did not match with the suit pants he was still wearing.
“Hey Aura, I was hoping to catch you in here. Can I come in for a moment?”
I moved out of the way, waiting until he was inside to close the door, roll my eyes while still facing the door and then forcing a smile as I turned around.
“Oh hey Henry! What brings you over here?”
Mia said with a smile and wave, as nonchalant as ever. As she went back to work.
“I actually came over because I noticed our Aura here was not her usual chipper self today and I wanted to check in with her.”
I fought down the urge to roll my eyes again I couldn’t pull it off with so many eyes on me.
“What a coincidence, I was just having that same conversation with her. So now that I’ve got back up are you ready to talk?”
I could feel my face get hot again, I couldn’t blush a small mercy but the anger was still fresh and hot in my veins, was at a tipping point. Years of acting had taught me to hide my emotions and bury them behind a wall. I smirked as I finish my drink. The room was silent was waiting for me to talk.
“I am fine I swear...”
“You know Henry I think she needs a hug! My hands are full at the moment but yours are free.”
“Oh no I....”
Mia and Henry looked at each other and then back at me. Henry began to advance on me, and I backed up shaking my head.
“I’ve been told I give pretty good hugs.”
His arms outstretched and I backed up and he smirked his teeth making him look even more menacing than normal.
“I think I’ll pass...”
“Nope let him use his muscles for good instead of exploding ovaries across the globe.”
Mia said and I knew she was trying to push us to interact, but little did she know it was for nothing. I decided to go with this just to get it over with. I wanted him gone and for my head to stop being foggy with him around.
“Fine. If I hug Henry will you both believe I am okay?”
“Maybe.”
Mia waved me into his direction where he still stood arms open.
I stepped across the small space, not wanting to enjoy the hug, and honestly I felt sick to my stomach. I felt like a pawn being used to further his aims and it literally was making me sick so I pushed him off in a non assuming way and said
“Well thank you Henry for that. Mia why don’t you get one too! I promise they are life changers.”
Mia looked at me like a grew another head and Henry looked at Mia for a moment before opening his arms and folding her in. I could tell Mia thought it was awkward but didn’t say anything.
“Great now that the love-fest has ended can we get back to set?” I said feeling moderately successful in pushing them towards what they wanted and getting off my back.
“I had a dual purpose for stopping by. Seeing as we break a little earlier today a few of us are all headed out tonight. We could use a few beautiful ladies such as yourself to join in. Interested?”
He raised his eyebrows in question and before I could say no, Mia said yes, I shook my head in the negative.
“Oh no I told you guys I am tired. I think I’m going to pass but Mia you should go.”
I could tell she was getting pissed that I was not taking the opportunity to spend time with Henry but I was pulling back and I would explain it later once Henry had the chance to let her know how he felt. It was Mia’s turn to roll her eyes.
“What time are we meeting up?”
She asked him.
“Assuming filming wraps up for the night soon, they say about 10ish.”
“Alright. Well WE will meet you guys. Thanks for the invite.”
“Great! Glad you guys are in. I’ve got to go pull myself back to rights for our next scene. See you ladies soon.”
As soon as the door closed, I turned to Mia with a glare.
“Mia. I just said I didn’t want to go. Why you tell that man we would go?!”
“Because that man wants you to go. Did you see the way he face fell when you said you weren’t?!”
“I think it was more of General disappointment. As I said I’m tired.”
“Well suck it the fuck up buttercup cuz we going.”
I sighed with resignation.
“1 hour. Y’all getting one hour out of me and I’m going back to the hotel.”
She yipped in excitement before holding my costume blazer back up for me to put on...
*Later*
I had tried repeatedly to get out of coming to this club tonight. Mia would hear none of it, and all but held me at knife point and forced me into a deep red halter-top and tight fitting mini-skirt that was one wrong move away from a full blown wardrobe malfunction. She had dressed in a black fitted mini-dress and her ever infamous converse shoes that had seen us through many and plenty club nights as they added a casual feel to an otherwise club vibe. She paired with black lipstick and dark makeup that made her large brown eyes pop in contrast to the stark white ends of her dreads.
Once inside the club, which was busy considering it was a Friday night. The music playing was some variety of Drake and pop catchy music, which normally wasn’t our taste but we would make due.
I looked around for a familiar face and at the sound of my name being shouted over the music I looked to the balcony where I saw a familiar group of crew standing. I let Mia guide me into the commandeered V.I.P sections of the club, all bouncing with faces I had been running around the set with for the better part of three weeks.
Of course Mia was the type for fast friends so she practically knew everyone there in our section. I followed her lead as we floated from person to person, finally finding a seat in an open booth. I checked the time on my phone.
“Oh good only half an hour left.”
“You cannot be serious! You really want to leave in 30 minutes? Henry isn’t even here yet.”
I let all the emotion fade from my face and said
“And? Mia I told you I was only staying for an hour...”
Commotion sounded as someone new arrived and judging by the name and excitement I gathered it was Henry. I finished my sentence with Mia just as he came over to our table. He looked just as good as ever in a navy button down and fitted jeans that his thighs were threatening to escape from.
“I meant it Mia. So thirty minutes or more like 25 now.”
“Sorry I’m late. Had a quick conference call with my agent that took a little longer than planned.”
Mia scooted over, which meant I had to move over since I was on the end for him to sit. Mia only moved over so much and with Henry’s large size taking up the real estate on the seat it made our legs touch. He didn’t seem bothered and actually ended up leaning back, tossing his arm around the back of my area where my body would be if I were sitting all the way back on the seat instead of the edge. I inhaled discreetly, hating how good he smelled, or should I say I hated how much it appealed to me. I was more than frustrated with myself because none of the feelings I had before, had gone away. They hadn’t lessened, and if I could talk to Mia about this she would tell me I was being to hard on myself about attempting to get over something in only 24 hours. Before I could say anything in response to Henry, a waitress came over in a tight dress, yet sensible shoes combo, batting her eyes in Henry’s direction, asking him what he wanted to drink. He ordered, and turned his attention back to Mia and I, clearly disappointing the bottle girl.
“So having fun yet?”
“I’m trying to get her to loosen up but she is determined to kill the vibe.”
Mia said with a smirk and took a sip of Bombay based drink.
“I’m having fun honest, but I told y’all earlier I’m tired.”
“That’s because you acting like you don’t know how to turn up. Come on!!”
Next thing I know she is pulling me by my arm and onto the dance floor.
“Excuse us Henry!”
I yelled behind me only having time to say that before we were headed down the stairs to the dance floor. Some random song came on but recognizable to us and we began dancing together is jumping around, acting silly along with the crowd of people. The song changed and had Mia dancing wildly in the middle of the floor, me following suit, shaking everything that we had to shake. Simply having fun and leaving it out on the floor. I saw Mia began to dance with a random guy and I started doing much of the same, some okay looking guy that really wasn’t my type but was nearby and available ended up being my partner. The song changed to something faster and the random blonde haired man moved into my space even more. The more I pulled back the closer he got, trying not to rude and hoping he would get the hint if I turned away and danced with the air, paying him no mind. This only prompted the guy to grind on my ass and and stick his hand down the front of my shirt.
That was enough and turned around and pushed the guy off and away.
“What the fuck?! I don’t even know you! Keep your hands off!”
“Oh so what you can fucking tease me all night and I can’t cop a feel?”
“Fuck you! You self righteous prick!”
I turned to leave but he grabbed the top of my arm, yanking me close, and it was then that I realized this guy was a lot drunker than I realized when I began dancing with him. I wouldn’t ever have started. I looked around but Mia who usually was right next to me had disappeared, I tried yanking back but he wasn’t letting go.
“Let me go!”
“Come on, let me get one more dance!”
I was about to rear back and punch him but then my free arm was yanked and ended up being pulled backward out of the assholes grasp. I looked up realizing I was now behind Henry’s back, the look on his face was of pure aggression and thankfully not directed at me.
“I believe the lady told you to let her go.”
He took one look at Henry’s massive frame, and for a moment his eyes showed fear, but it passed quickly.
“That stuck up black bitch ain’t worth all this shit.”
The next thing I saw was Henry lunge and grabbed the guy by the collar of his red polo shirt.
“You keep her name out your goddamn mouth. You don’t even speak on her! I will fucking bash your face in the next time you even think about sexually assaulting any woman! Fucking prick.”
“Henry please let him go! He’s not worth it!”
I put my hands around one of his arms the best I could trying to pull him off before he risked his career beating up some drunkard in a club.
Henry seemed to listen, letting go of the man with a shove to which the crowd laughed and the man’s friends picked him up front he floor in which he landed. Dragging the now red faced man toward the exit as he threatened to come back and kick Henry’s ass despite Henry having a few inches on him and considerably more mass. Mia had come over, finally getting wind of the situation.
“What in the hell? Aura? Henry? What happened why does Henry looking like he’s ready to kill?”
“It’s fine. I...”
“Oh bloody hell! Would you stop saying everything is fine or okay all of the time? Everything is not always ‘fine’!”
He said turning to me, now seemingly angry with me. I took a step back, rubbing my sore arm from where that jackass from earlier grabbed me. I was now embarrassed as I could feel eyes piercing me from every direction. I did what I always did and instead of handling it like a rational adult, I lashed back.
“You are right! Being sexually assaulted in a club by a dick is not FINE! I knew this shit was a fucking bad idea! I should have stayed back at the hotel like I wanted! This is some bullshit. I’m out!”
I pushed out of the crowd, glad of my lack of purse I was able to head toward the exit!
“Wait Aura! You don’t have to leave!”
Mia said running behind me, tears pricking on the corners of my eyes. I stopped walking, ending up standing in the hallway near the bathrooms.
“Mia I honestly just want to go home. Please just let me go.”
I said feeling tears fall down my face. Mia looked at me, understanding on her face. She reached up wiping the few stay tears.
“Okay. I left my jacket upstairs. I’m going to go grab it and we can go.”
“Don’t let me ruin your night. I can head back by myself.”
“Like hell. It’s cool I feel like I’m down for going home. Besides Dude from earlier could still be out there. I’ll be right back, stay here.”
She walked away with a small smile in my direction. I leaned against the wall, hoping I could blend into it. I called for an Uber on my phone and I had been standing for five minutes waiting when I saw Mia come back around the corner but she wasn’t alone this time. I could not fight the urge to roll my eyes this time. I honestly didn’t want to see him right now.
“Why is he here? Come to tell me I’m falling apart? Come to tell me how I am supposed to feel again Henry?”
He looked mollified for a second then his eyes became sincere but by then the sight of seeing Mia and his standing side-by side just unlocked all of the disappointment I bottled up in the last 24 hours.
“I didn’t mean to yell...”
I tossed up a hand indicating I didn’t want to hear anything. He stopped talking.
“I don’t need anything from you. Apologies, protection, nothing! The last thing I need is apologies from you. In fact I just want to be left alone!”
“But Aura, I just wanted to help.” He started up again.
“Henry leave it. In fact Mia and Henry y’all should stay here and have a good time. I’m just a third wheel anyway.”
My phone dinged signaling the arrival of my Uber.
“Come on Aura lets go...”
Mia said, but in anger I tossed my hands up in front of me on an effort to keep her back. I shook my head ‘no’. I pushed backwards against the air and said
“Naw, you see I’m straight I don’t need anyone right now. You should stay here with Henry. That’s what he wants anyway.”
I narrowed my eyes at them and with that I turned and walked away, leaving out the front door of the nightclub, also leaving behind two confused faces...
A/n: with five minutes to spear! Hope y'all enjoyed!
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Fuck you, Food On Save
You don't pay me enough to deal with your garbage management, piss poor workers, shit show scheduling, and lack of safety equipment.
The bare bone minimum wage and not having to take a bus to work isn't enough to make me tolerate the fact that so many people and management who have been countlessly warned to stay in their department's lane and then just won't.
It's not enough to make want to work a shift I have basically not been trained on properly because now I'm on the deli department's shit list of angry menopausal boomers that use their seniority to spout racist garbage and then not be discipline or face consequences and are spreading rumours about me.
It's not enough to pick up the passive aggressive bullying little slackers end of the job. You think -THINK, but aren't sure that you may have sprained your ankle at work a week ago or two? -so there's a loose fitting wrap on your foot and you won't go see a doctor and you won't report to first aid.... -and that somehow makes literally everything you do go 10× slower.....and now you think you have carpal tunnel syndrome after my boyfriend has just suffered a carpal tunnel injury, but after examination your arms are fine...so...with your "sprained ankle" and "maybe" sore arm you take out the easily 150lb organics bin and stay in back for 20 minutes, then disappear to the bathroom for 15 minutes, and when you come back you tell everyone you're going on lunch which you come back 5 minutes late from. And in the span of all of this you try to be chummy and talk non stop to me now getting in my way of doing not only my job, but yours now too because if I don't the manager that's banned from our department will still show up to blame me for not picking up your slack and once I leave you like to tell everyone how useless I am, that I'm the bitch that just won't leave and tell my boyfriend that must be why we're still together even if he wanted to get rid of me. And then you wonder why you no one will date you or just wants you fucking gone. You're the rotten hot potato everyone wants thrown into a compactor. I can't even formally request you get taken off day shift because you literally don't do anything because the cook with piss poor timing won't give us the girl who also wants earlier shifts and ACTUALLY does her job because you can't close for shit and you distract everyone on that shift too. But suuuure, keep blankly staring at that clipboard like you have one functional brain cell while I carry the damn shift.
It's not enough to get me to stay when you don't care about my pet emergency. I never said I'd come in today, I phoned 3 and half hours before my shift to let you know I couldn't; you're the one that suggested I could maybe come in later, I didn't say yes. I have to keep an eye on my fur baby, my best buddy, my kitten -incase I have to take a damn taxi to an emergency vet at a moments notice. No I couldn't have switched shifts with my boyfriend, there's still 2 hours she's left alone and I need to update my vet on how she's doing. You should have gotten a damn shift replacement while it was viable or worked in the department yourself. And to top that off you don't even pay me enough to make sure I can pay for my cats medical bill.
It's not enough to get me to stay when I'm waiting 6 damn months until I have medical coverage and both my boyfriend and I have suffered work injuries. Mine is due to a second degree steam burn because there aren't proper gloves in my department. There's instead gardening gloves, that if you get scalding water from the steamer on the back of your hand you better hope you throw that glove off quick because there's no protection. The union you have doesn't cut it either when they don't message back until 4 weeks later.
The small handful of nice people aren't enough to get me to stay. I'll miss them and I have regrets that I'm not staying for them because they're going to get hit pretty badly once my boyfriend and I are gone. It's too bad the number of people that are gossiping about me because they're sad old women who are bored and angry, but won't do anything to change how things are done outweigh the small handful of nice people.
But maybe you should've paid us more, trained us properly for our positions, hired other decent workers, and helped our department more....
#tw#trigger warning#submissions#fuck customers#cashier problems#happy ending#fuck co-workers#fuck retail#embarrassing#server problems#call center problems#fuck coworkers#fuck managers#retail justice#retail law#submission
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The Moon’s Best Friend [Something by The Rembrandts, Part I]
“What did Nyx do now?”
“I did absolutely nothing but bring good tidings, and present the opportunity for you to watch Crowe Altius turn into the most useless lesbian you’ve ever seen.”
In which Lunafreya returns from traveling abroad and sets in motion a healthy rivalry between baristas, a serious negotiation over coffee and pastries, and questionable professional relationships regarding ASMR recordings.
Rating: PG-13 (for language and mild sexual themes); future parts may have higher ratings, but this should be good for now
Originally written for the Day 5 Modern AU Prompt over at @glaiveweek! Enjoy, and give this baby a reblog if you enjoyed it!
Tagging: @wolfgoddess77 @vashiane @sailorprompto @sedge-butt @marianne-dash-wood @me-yasato @alecair @toranyx @goodmorningawfulbye @paopusunshine @noxhighwind @sailormars109 @bleucommelhiver @elloquench @ultimoogle @kidolegend @rhysspeaces @theyearofdiamonddogs @ghostl0rd
There were three reasons, and only three reasons, why Crowe Altius would be cranky during opening:
1) It was a Wednesday,
2) She was still mildly hungover, or
3) Nyx had his eyes on someone, again.
Today was two of those things.
Okay, to be fair, what kind of a name was “hump day” for Wednesdays, anyway? It had to be, like, the single most unattractive day, and here it was, touting its nickname every week like it really fuckin deserved it. Why not, you know, Saturday? It even sounded attractive. S for Saturday, S for sexy. God damn, she was a genius sometimes. The world would miss her intellect when she was gone.
And what business did Nyx have practically dancing around The Hearth before he’d even laid eyes on anyone else? Anyone else besides her, of course, because all she was apparently good for was a ruffle of long, messy hair and a chirrup of “Mornin, Little Bird.” But come on. The guy was standing on tiptoe to place cups of yogurt and mixed fruit in the refrigerated display case. He didn’t even have to stand on tiptoe; he only ever did it to make fun of the places she couldn’t quite reach. It was like every motion of his was hard to control.
(Not that that was saying much. Nyx was always hard to control, once something grabbed him by his weird hair and ran away with him.)
“All right,” she finally said, with a defeated sigh; she was halfway through writing the baked goods lineup in a careful script. (It had to be careful, or else it’d turn into the chicken scratch that just barely helped her pass her exams.) “Spill, Nyx.”
“Pretty sure that’s not on the opening checklist.” Nyx was all stupid, dreamy grins as he smoothed out his apron, a navy blue color with a shade that they were all lucky enough to pull off. Crowe wouldn’t have been surprised if that was some secret part of the hiring process here. Or maybe it was a job restricted to hopeless cases. Drautos was always touting the word “potential” like it was meant to be plastered across the bumper of his car.
“You know what I mean,” Crowe said with a roll of her eyes. “What’s got you all… you know, this?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know.”
“Um, yeah.” She gave him her trademark are-you-fucking-kidding-me look over the low, hazy buzz of the playlist she’d flipped on to get her through the shift—she’d have to thank her past self for that. Treat herself to one of the more expensive drinks or something. “That’s kind of why I asked.”
If it was even possible, Nyx’s smile grew. “Our lady’s back in town.”
The chalk tumbled from Crowe’s poised fingers and fell to the floor with a clatter; she barely registered how tightly she was gripping the edge of the counter, how wide her eyes had gone. “Shut the fuck up.”
“If I had a nickel for every time I heard you say that…” That was Pelna unlocking the door and slipping into the shop now, halfway out of his scarf and making a beeline to hang up his coat. Two years of friendship—barely counting how long they’d actually known each other—and Crowe still hadn’t quite put together how he managed to have a casual cheer about him every morning. “What did Nyx do now?”
“I did absolutely nothing but bring good tidings, and present the opportunity for you”—Nyx paused his work to jab a finger at Pelna, who was pulling his apron over his head—“to watch Crowe Altius turn into the most useless lesbian you’ve ever seen.”
“I’m not useless…” Crowe muttered. “And I’m bi, thank you.”
For a few seconds Pelna didn’t move; it was only as he began to brew the coffee that he said, flatly, “I don’t think I even want to know what you’re talking about.” That was Pelna for you: mostly silent and focused on his work, with a few wisecracks up polo shirts or ribbed sweater sleeves.
Crowe, for her part, let out an exasperated sigh and returned to her script, embellishing the chalkboard with a few designs. She was never particularly good at it—as much as it begrudged her to say it, this was more of Luche’s thing (if he ever took a damn opening shift for once)—but she made it work.
That was The Hearth for you. Four walls and a tiled backsplash of making it work.
She liked to think they all fit sort of nicely here. Even Luche, for all his insistence on 12 to 7 shifts.
“C’mon, Pel.” Nyx was rounding the counter to examine the opening checklist, throwing an arm around Pelna’s shoulders and pointing outside, like they had more than ten minutes before the first customers arrived. “You can’t tell me you aren’t about to get all gooey when you see Lunafreya Nox Fleuret walk through those doors.”
“Sure I can,” Pelna said simply, unmoving in Nyx’s grip. “I’ve never met her.”
Nyx’s mouth fell open. Crowe didn’t see why it was so surprising; Pelna had only started working here about a year ago. Just after Lunafreya had gone back to England—to find a little more of herself, she said, but Crowe had always had the feeling that she didn’t want to let on that she was homesick in the whirlwind of her job, or ever could be. But that didn’t mean that Pelna wouldn’t fall like the rest of them. An impressionable, well-meaning guy like him? He’d be hopelessly wrapped around her every whim in seconds. Crowe was sure of it.
“You’ll meet her soon enough,” Nyx was saying. “And then you’ll memorize her order like the rest of us. And, you know. Never be able to take it, because you’re too lost in her gorgeous eyes…”
“Or the color of her scrubs,” Crowe added, throwing a towel over her shoulder. “You know they call her the Angel of the Pediatric Ward at the hospital? That’s how good she is.”
“And don’t forget her accent.”
“God, her accent—”
Okay, so maybe the two of them were leaning more than a little hopelessly against various pieces of equipment. Just a little. But Nyx was worse than she was; she practically swore by it. At least she could say hello to Lunafreya. Nyx could barely get through one sentence without stuttering or making an ass of himself with some pickup line he read in some abandoned paperback he’d picked up from a subway bench. Crowe knew Lunafreya was only laughing at the lines out of pity. There was no way they actually worked on her, for all of Nyx’s proud strutting behind the espresso machines once she’d left with her usual order.
Crowe was more than sure she’d have an arm and a leg up on him and everyone else in this damn shop when Lunafreya Nox Fleuret walked through that door today.
…If she walked through that door today.
———
“All right.” Pelna was leaning against the counter between surges of mid-morning customers, arms folded and eyebrow raised, a challenging glint in his eyes. “What’s this ‘Lunafreya’s’ order, then?” God, Nyx and Crowe were all about this mystery woman ever since opening. Like they were expecting some holy being to brighten their doorway, hand them a few blessed bucks, and be on her merry way. And sure, some might categorize him as some kind of disaster, but they seemed so convinced that it was only a matter of time before he went tumbling down with them. At least he wasn’t frantically looking at the clock every time he filled an order.
...He wasn’t that bad when he saw someone cute, was he?
Nyx responded first. “Medium green tea with spearmint, two sugars.”
“Unless she’s not feeling well,” Crowe chimed in. “Then she treats herself a little. Small white chocolate mocha, one pump of raspberry. And a slice of cranberry cake.”
“And how do you know when she’s not feeling well?” Pelna asked.
“You know.” Nyx dried his hands on the front of his apron, seemingly not caring about the dark splotches left in their wake. “She tries to do a good job of hiding it—because, you know, that’s how she is—but you know Lunafreya long enough, you see it in every little way she carries herself.”
Because that wasn’t creepy at all.
Pelna sighed and rolled his eyes. As grateful as he was that Crowe had gotten him this job, and as much as he cherished his coworkers like family, they sure as hell got on his nerves sometimes. (Maybe that was part of the whole family deal. Maybe he’d just played himself all along. He’d have to get his own congratulations in order.) “How do you even know she’ll come in today? You said her flight came in, what, two days ago? You ever consider that she’s probably unpacking? Or sleeping off jet lag?”
“It’s a five-hour difference,” Crowe said, as if that was supposed to prove her point entirely, and nudged him toward the till again to greet another customer. “And she’s incredibly efficient. It’s practically her middle name.”
“I thought Nox was her middle name.”
“That’s her last name,” said Nyx with a sigh as he cleaned off a steamer. “Nox Fleuret Honestly, Pel, keep up.”
“Jesus. Sorry I’m getting a crash course in my coworker’s courting competition.” Pelna wrinkled his nose. He’d have to be more careful with his words; alliteration sounded so tacky sometimes. Or maybe that was some distant lecture from Luche coming to the forefront of his mind. All this time being a barista, and you would have thought Luche Lazarus would let go of the whole I was a French Lit major in college vibe basically whenever he existed.
That was assuming, of course, that Luche Lazarus let go of anything that wasn’t a stranger in his bed.
Pelna couldn’t help but wonder what kind of horse he had in this game.
“All I’m saying,” he went on in between scribbling names on nondenominational winter cups and sliding them across the bar, “is not to get your hopes up. Travel takes a lot out of you. She’s probably getting used to being here again, if she’s been gone as long as you say she has.”
“What d’you think she was doing there for a whole year?” Crowe mused. “It’s not like her to just… up and leave her commitments behind. You think something happened to her brother?”
“First of all, you really think that’s our business?” Nyx shot back. “And second of all, yes.”
Pelna was starting to get the feeling he could turn this into a game. Try to parse out the things Nyx and Crowe learned directly from Lunafreya, and the things they’d put together from poking around her social media accounts—if she even had them to begin with. But if his own grandmother had had one before, there was no reason some busy nursing student didn’t. At least for networking purposes. From what the others were saying about her, she had to be able to do that much.
“And anyway,” Nyx was saying, giving Pelna a nudge he wasn’t expecting, which threw him just a bit off balance, “If she’s back, I can guarantee that within forty-eight hours, she’ll have visited Insomnia. Which means there’s no reason she wouldn’t stop by The Hearth.”
“So what you’re telling me is”—Pelna stopped to wipe down a spill, to hand off a latte with a typical toothy grin—“Lunafreya Nox Fleuret is going to visit the bakery one block over, and then miraculously have the appetite to visit a cafe right after.”
“It’s less about the pastries and more about the people, y’know,” Crowe explained. “Obviously she’s got to make her rounds and greet everyone she knows. That’s practically in her blood, too.”
“You know, you can just say outright that she has connections to Reggie What’s-His-Face without putting her on a pedestal.”
“And you could actually remember to respect that Regis Lucis Caelum is the reason any of us has a job at all.”
Oh, Pelna remembered. He just couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard a name as ridiculous as Regis Lucis Caelum. His son barely counted—a scrawny college-aged kid named Noctis who came every day for a week straight, twice a semester, ordered a dirty whatever-goes-well-with-espresso, and claimed he was ready to fight God when asked how many shots he wanted. A year into this job, and he still had no idea what Noctis Lucis Caelum’s major was, or anything beyond the fact that he barely wanted anything to do with Insomnia.
Crowe sure got touchy about these job things when it came down to it.
Before any of them could speak up again, the bell above the shop door signaled an entrance, and both Nyx’s and Crowe’s faces went deathly pale, then furiously red, almost at the same time. Near-instantly, they turned to busy themselves with the closest thing to them—an espresso machine that needed cleaning, a restocking of the display case. If not for the click of high heel against tile, Pelna might have thought that Drautos was making his entrance for the day—if it had been Luche, he would have made himself known. It was like he was legally obligated to, whenever he came in for his shifts.
“Good fucking luck,” Crowe hissed as she all but shoved him to the register, flashed a sunny smile outward, and went right back to tidying up the counter, and Pelna found himself face-to-face with the calmest, saddest blue eyes he’d ever seen, complemented by a too-polite smile.
Oh.
Oh, God.
This was Lunafreya Nox Fleuret.
To be fair, she certainly was pretty; her cheeks were flushed from the cold weather, golden hair tied in a high ponytail and accented by a couple of braids that, on first sight, Pelna almost mistook for a headband. And she wore a fashionable winter coat—grey, and probably wool—that looked more like a dress than an actual coat. He couldn’t help but feel soothed as she stood there, wallet in hand.
But Pelna tossed a glance at the others, gave her his signature smile with a cup in one hand and a marker in the other, and asked, “What can I get for you, miss?”
He could practically hear their mouths fall open, and rewarded himself a little victory glance out the doors.
Which was, of course, his biggest mistake. Because there, tied to the lamppost just outside, were two dogs, settled side-by-side, somewhere between sitting and standing as they attempted to peer into the cafe. As if waiting for someone. As if waiting for her. Longing for her.
God, why did he have to be so weak for dogs? No, better question—why did dogs have to be so good and pure practically all the time? Did they know how good they were? Did he know how much he loved them? All of them? Did they know—
Lunafreya cleared her throat then, soft but pointed, and Pelna snapped back to attention with a sheepish blush, still holding the cup. “Sorry ‘bout that, I, uh…” Vaguely, he pointed out the door, almost ashamed of himself for having been distracted so long. “Do you mind repeating your order for me?”
She smiled again—just as polite as the first time—and she spoke quietly, with an English accent. “A small white chocolate mocha, please. With one pump of raspberry syrup. And…” She leaned to the side to peer at the pastry case, quirking her lips. “Have you got any more cranberry cake?”
Pelna had to bite back the urge to ask if everything was all right. Far be it from him to tumble into that rabbit hole. “Yeah—yeah, we do,” he said, and rang her up without a hitch, scrawling her name on the side of her cup. L-U-N-A-F-R-E-Y-A.
Maybe a little more elegant than Reggie What’s-His-Face.
Lunafreya was still smiling, still hiding something in her eyes, when he handed her the order. “Are you fond of dogs?” she asked, casting a glance outside.
“I love them,” Pelna said almost immediately, feeling almost grateful that there was no one behind her in line, and that he could safely go on his break. “Almost broke my ankle running to pet one once… I guess I’m making up for the fact that my landlord doesn’t allow pets.”
“They’re mine, you know,” she mentioned between sips of coffee, and for a fraction of a second, in the moments that Pelna was mixing himself an iced tea, it almost felt like his life was falling together in the best of ways. “Would you like to say hello before we continue our walk?”
Pelna glanced between his drink, Lunafreya’s eyes, and his coworkers’ slack-jawed expressions in a matter of seconds, and offered her another smile. “You know? I’d really like that, yeah.”
Before they exited the shop, Lunafreya made a point to greet Nyx and Crowe, her fingers reaching up to delicately touch the pin in her hair, and Pelna could have sworn he saw Crowe’s soul leave her body for approximately three seconds.
———
“I’m borrowing him,” Nyx declared in the back room at the end of their shift.
“You can’t borrow him,” Crowe protested, free of her apron and halfway into her trusty leather jacket. Nyx remembered she’d had the damn thing ever since she settled up on his couch with the remains of her first ever paycheck. How long ago had that been again? “He’s my best friend! I took him under my wing!”
“Fourteen years together, and you have the gall to have a best friend who isn’t me or Libs.” Nyx clutched his chest in mock offense, then drew himself to half-height against a nearby shelf. “And really? You took him under your wing. Is that what you call what happened in the walk-in fridge?”
He didn’t think he’d ever seen Crowe whip her head around and grab him by the front of his shirt so fast. Maybe street smarts did that to a person. “That was one. Fucking. Time,” she said through clenched teeth, in a voice that intimidated even him. “And it was two years ago. Let it go, Nyx.”
He wasn’t exactly stunned into silence as she shrugged on the rest of her jacket, but there was something pointed about the way neither of them spoke.
“Anyway,” she said, fluffing out her hair over a slightly-worn infinity scarf, “you can’t have him. Get your own wingman. I’m sure Libertus still owes you a few favors.”
“C’mon, Little Bird. You really think I keep tabs on what we owe each other?”
“He does.”
“He would.” Nyx rolled his eyes. Fourteen years of this bullshit. “You realize this is hardly fair. You’ve got someone who’s practically immune to her, and for all we know, he could turn us on our heads and become Rival Number Two. He got her number today, for Christ’s sake.”
“He got her number to walk her dogs, genius, not to take her on a date.” Crowe folded her arms, one leg crossed over the other as she leaned against the doorway, like he was the only thing between her and freedom. (To be fair, he probably was. Not that he cared in the moment. He was a man on a mission, and she knew how he got.) “You’re overthinking this.”
Nyx grinned, scratching at the stubble along his jaw and finally making a grab for his coat. “You mean the way you were overthinking how she touched her hairpin today?”
Crowe’s eyes narrowed, but only for a moment, before a self-assured little smile crossed her face. “First of all, it was a graduation gift, and secondly, you’re missing the entire point. I can give him something in return.”
“What’s that?” Nyx asked. “Another tryst? A heart-to-heart over a pint of ice cream?”
Crowe’s smile grew almost deviously, and she turned on her heel. “Pelna likes a girl.”
#crowe altius#nyx ulric#pelna khara#lunafreya nox fleuret#ffxv fanfiction#kingsglaive fanfiction#fic: something by the rembrandts#guys I'm so excited about this fic
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The Quiet Site 22 July – 27 November 2018
I caught the bus to Penrith the next day. There were heaps of cool young looking people gathering at the train station there organising to go to Kendal Calling, a music festival nearby. I took a bus to the Brackenrigg Inn, overlooking Ullswater in Watermillock.
Peter, Emily’s boyfriend picked me up. He was a mad redheaded dude with a bushy beard, more chilled out then even me. He was to train me in the coming weeks. He set me up in my caravan and showed me around, introducing me to the other staff and the owner of the campsite, Daniel.
We had some drinks at the campsite pub that evening. I was on form and charmed the other staff easily. But I was hungover when I started work the next day. The work was simple enough however, and despite my worries I quickly proved myself a hard and capable worker there. All were pleased, and I was offered ongoing employment.
It was cleaning work. The brunt of it was cleaning the glamping accommodation - Tipi tents, pods (wooden tents) and Hobbit Holes. That, and the toilet and shower block. And I worked the occasional bar shift at the Quiet Bar. I was nervous before my first bar shift, and gulped spiced rum before it started to try settle my nerves. My main anxiety was that I would be too quiet working at the Quiet Bar! That I would not have the charisma and personality I thought a bartender should have. I needn’t have worried. Just being polite and able to fill empty vessels with liquids was enough. And in time the rest came naturally.
In my time off I quickly explored the surrounding area. I explored the meadow paths and climbed Little Mell Fell, which our campsite sloped down from. I hiked to Aira Force waterfalls and got lost coming back, following sheep trails that wound through bracken ferns as tall as me. I cut over the Gowbarrow Park fells in the cloud, found the path again and drudged back to camp with sodden boots. A hot tea and shelter had never felt so nice.
I hiked the Ullswater Way, a path that went around the lake, and wild camped at Sandwick Bay.
I finally got a National Insurance number after an overnight trip to Newcastle, where I had to go to a government jobs centre to prove my identity.
I read a pocket-sized book, in the Collins Gems series ‘Kings and Queens.’ It detailed the known history of kings and queens of Scotland, Wales, Ireland and England. In doing so, it provided a brief history of these countries. I found it most fascinating, and ordered more books from the Gems collection. I bought books on trees, mushrooms, edible food, survival and the weather.
I worked to improve my natural knowledge. Collecting plant and fungus specimens, and identifying them with the aid of my books, and further online reading where needed.
I added nettle to my curries, elder berries to my porridge. I feasted on blackberries, foraged for blueberries and collected crab apples. Wild comfrey replaced parsley from the shops. This fresh food supplemented what food I could get for free from the camp store, canned beans, rice, pasta, cheese and the likes – to a point where I was eating quite well for free.
I was being paid more money than I could spend so I started saving. Things were going quite well for me but I was missing some companionship. I booked flights back to Australia for a two month trip over December and January. There would not be much work at the campsite over winter, and I wanted to see friends and family.
Companionship
In the first few months I would occasionally have drinks with some of the staff, but this disappeared as the site got busy and our work schedules overlapped. I was enjoying hiking and animating and living on my own, but at times I was getting lonely.
I was messaging Kim a fair bit but she had no interest in visiting England, as she was saving for a trip to New Zealand. I was using tinder but the options were limited in my area. And I was unwilling to travel far to meet someone.
I met a woman, Lucy, five years older than me at Aira Force on one of my days off. I had made some hummus and brought some beers my boss had given to me (which had been left on-site by a guest). I basically counselled her for two hours as she figured out what to do with her life. She had been travelling and now was had the option to move to Italy or to London for teaching positions.
It wasn’t really the date I’d dreamed of, I guess I was hoping for a hookup like I’d had a few time when I was backpacking. When she decided to go home to Carlisle we said farewell and she thanked me… And I said, “You owe me…” Why did I say that? I knew she didn’t owe me a thing. I felt dark for having said it. Strange… I walked upstream, a way back I hadn’t been before. I was in a dream like state.
On the top of Gowbarrow Fell, I found magic mushrooms. I put them in a bag and examined them more closely when I got home, researching thoroughly online to ensure they were what I thought they were. I dried them out and stored them in a jar in my larder.
We had a good team at the campsite of about a dozen and I got along with everyone. One day, as I was cleaning, the owner’s son George came to me looking mortified. “I just went to clean the bell tents… but I forgot which ones needed cleaning. I went into thirteen, because there was no car out the front. And inside there was big fat bald guy fucking his wife. Both stark naked. I said sorry, sorry, and came straight here….” Young George went home early that day.
The Saucy Sausage
There was a catering van on site which did breakfast and dinner. It was called The Saucy Sausage. Staff ate free. It was owned by a middle-aged Geordie man named Nigel. He was very friendly but could be quite brash. In my early days at the campsite he was moving houses, and I helped him with some heavy catering fridges. He gave me his two cents on the campsite and the area. He said it was beautiful but not much of a party or social scene. I told him I was looking for this kind of place, I needed a break from drugs and alcohol. We kept talking and he told me about some big German guys he’s once hosted. They were known as journeymen. They were stonemasons, and came from a village where young men, after being apprentices were sent out into the world to be journeymen. They were to travel and work for nothing more than food and shelter and not use the internet or mobile phones, in order to learn how their craft is done in different places and to learn the value of their work.
We moved the fridges and I noticed he had a short temper – never aimed at me but just in general. Afterwards he gave me 30 quid, which I hadn’t expected… Not bad for two hours work. I couldn’t help feeling nervous around him from then on however, like I had to be on tippytoes around him. Meditation and alcohol alleviated these feelings however.
One evening when he saw me at the campsite he invited me to a reggae gig. An English band, Zion Train. In ten minutes I was in his car. We went to the pub for a few where I met his wife and their friends, a couple from Glasgow. We got rip roaring drunk and as Nigel drove us to the Art Gallery beneath a radio tower where they were playing we drank strong gin and tonic from a plastic bottle and I felt like I was a teenager again. When we got there they distracted the ticket collector and I snuck past them without needing to pay.
Needless to say I bought the first round. And when the band started I danced my pants off. Nigel kept bring me beers through the gig and when I went to get a round I was quiet sloshed and got bottles of San Miguel instead of the draught ale we’d been drinking and Nigel got upset and I told him to bloody cheer up it’s not worth getting upset about. After the gig we went back to Nigel’s and I sipped some whiskey and discussed current events and philosophy with him and then I slept on his couch.
I had a splitting headache in the morning when he drove me and his daughter to the Quiet Site. They opened up The Saucy Sausage for breakfast and I lay down for an hour before my cleaning shift started.
Fantasies in the Dark
I set out late one afternoon with my camping gear. I ate some mushrooms and was intoxicated them as I made my way downstream at Aira Force in the dark. I was trying to meditate, and walk without a torch, and it was so very dark. I felt like the forest wanted me to fall and fertilise the soil for its roots. I stumbled across a circle of short wooden seats, about waist high. They looked like they were for elves. My mind went to imagining things. I set up my camp under a yew tree nearby. I’d had mushrooms before and enjoyed them, but I’d come to an unfamiliar environment, in the dark, under the influence of them which was unwise.
I imagined I had to appease the elves to stay a safe night here, so I went and left a boiled egg in the circle of chairs as an offering. As I lay in my camp, all sorts of delusions went through my head, fantasies of elf councils in the dark, of their malevolent attitude towards me. And I snapped out of it. Realised these were all fantasies I was creating, and felt silly for leaving the egg down there. But it was not just this fantasy I broke out of. But other fantasies, stories I told myself about myself and others in my day to day sober life, for as long as I could remember. I meditated and honed my mind. What you think is not real. What you believe is real to you, but you can choose what to believe. And what you believe is only real to someone else if they believe it to. So choose what you believe wisely, and manage your thoughts. I slept the mushrooms off, I was not enjoying them that night. I’d taken them hoping to have some spirtual epiphany.In the morning I went to the circle and ate my egg I’d left to the ‘elves’ for breakfast. And so I’d lost my superstitions. It was near the gardens and the bottom of Aira force where other wooden artworks were.
I walked to Glenridding and boarded the steamer. I got off at Howtown and climbed up Hallin Fell. I got the steamer to Pooley Bridge and walked home.
Second Thoughts
In September I went down to London for a second screening with flucamp. They’d wanted me to participate in a clinical trial for months but the dates hadn’t worked for me to take time off. On the way down I visited Camilla in Manchester. I met her at a bar in the university area where she was photographing a psych-rock evening. I drank and met some of her friends and she wandered round, photographing and seeming to know everyone so I left her to it really. She introduced me at one point to Lucio, the monthly psyc-rock gig organiser from Sicily who was a bit standoffish when I told him I met Camilla through tinder. He liked her.
Camilla and I left to meet some of her other friends in a nightclub called Gas. It was a young gay couple Kurt and Mattias and their female Liverpudlian companion Jodie who was also somewhat standoffish with me. Her and Camilla got touchy and I got shy, but then Jodie called me good looking and Camilla put my hand on Jodie. So they were lovers. And it was strange… I was shy and a bit uncomfortable but I was consenting if Jodie was... But she was really drunk and must have remembered something that happened to her as she started saying how bad men were so I went to get another drink and sat across from them as Jodie seemed distress. Kurt and Mattias were fun gay guys and witty and cracked jokes to lighten the situation and secretly told Camilla and I that Jodie had been a handful tonight and was the drunkest they’d ever seen her.
So we went back to Camillas and drank red wine Jodie was really drunk and stood there swaying so I made room on the couch for her and she sat down and was being somewhat abrasive to everyone. Camilla rolled a joint and it was passed around and I said no the first time because I couldn’t have weed in my system for the flucamp screening and besides weed tends to disagree with me these days but there was a part of me that wanted to sabotage my chances of getting into the trial. So when it came back round I had a light puff on the joint and it was soothing.
Camilla made Jodie a grilled cheese sandwich and then she was sick so Kurt and Mattias took her home in a cab. Camilla and I hooked up for a bit but were exhausted and fell asleep. The next afternoon I caught the bus to London.
When we stopped at a service station I saw ten quid fall to the ground and a man walking away from it. “Excuse me!” I caught up to him, “you dropped this.” I gave him the tenner and he looked taken aback and as I walked away he checked his pocket and realised it had fallen and his face lit up with this random act of humanity and he gave me his thanks.
In London I checked into the hostel and had a quiet night. The next day I went to the screening which took about two hours. I struggled with the spirometer test technique but was signed off on.
I was paid 100 quid and reimbursed my travel expenses for this.
I bought a single malt whiskey and sipped it in my hostel room. I prepared some dinner and gulped some more whiskey. I made small talk with some people. An American girl was cooking kale with coconut oil and bragged about how healthy it was. I told her it’s full of saturated fats and they use it to induce obesity in lab rats. She got defensive and I told her to read the nutrition info but she was brainwashed and refused to believe me. I got really mad about it because she was friends with everyone there and I seemed like the bad guy. So I left and was mad in my room. Clearly I was caring too much about things. My head was spinning. I’d drank the whiskey to make myself chatty because I wanted to meet people… but it is silly to gulp whiskey. It’s a drink meant for sipping.
Sharp Edge
Time moved on at the campsite and the weather cooled as the winds from the Atlantic became more consistent. I worked and hiked and ate and slept and tried to meditate from time to time and work on my animation. On a clear day I asked Peter to drop me off at the bottom of Blencathra. I was to hike up along Sharp Edge, a steep ridge scramble.
I wasn’t the only one walking up the knife edge ascent. Many came up and down, some with sure-footed canine companions. And the views were awe inspiring. Why wasn’t I doing this more often?
Competent Crew
I took a week off to take a five day sailing course in south Scotland. In Largs I met the instructor, Alis, a Czech yacht master. The other crew were Rob, a retired farmer was doing mile-building in preparation for his yacht master testing. Chris, a middle-aged teacher from Elgin was there to complete his Day-Skipper course so he could skip for school trips. Matt, a 23 year old junior doctor, a prodigy was also doing his Day-Skipper. They all had experience sailing one man dinghys or crewing sea-going yachts. I was the only newby, doing my competent crew to learn the ropes.
I did my best to to try to learn but most of the attention was given to those doing their day-skipper course, so for a lot of it I just had to watch and learn and participate where I could. I was given the helm a couple of times each day and Alis guided me.
There was a lot to go through, a lot to learn. Too much information, but I’m sure a lot of it soaked through. How to moor the ship, how to shape the sails, right of way on water, Coriolis effect, knots,
At times I felt like deadweight, the others got to doing the things as they knew how to do them while I tried to stay out of the way. I was not often shown how to do things as they got to it and so I had to ask, yet I can be a slow learner for practical tasks and often there wasn’t time for me to practice so they just did it. And it is tight knit on a ship, I was always around other people, which wears me down, I need time alone. So I’m not sure if life at sea could be for me.
But it was a pleasant trip. A great way to travel, and see places you would never see otherwise. From Largs we sailed to the Isle of Bute, and harboured at Rothesay. From there we sailed to Tarbert. Chris informaed me there are many Tarberts around the British isles, all named by the Norse, to indicate a narrow piece of land where vikings would land their ships and roll them to the other side on logs - to avoid treacherous water or reduce the time of their voyage.
We sailed to the Isle of Arran, stayed again in Largs to fuel the engine and went back to Bute, spending our last night at Port Bannatyne.
We drank beer and played pool and darts celebrate the end. Alis met us for pub dinner. I had halloumi battered like fish and served with chips, and we stayed on for dessert. Everyone had passed their course. Chris and Matt would receive RYA certification as day-skippers, allowing them to charter yachts in coastal waters. Rob had miles added to his logbook, needed to be certified as a yacht master. And I would get a piece of paper saying I completed the competent crew course. My first taste of sailing. I drank up.
A group of locals cleared the dining room as we finished our meal and started setting up their instruments. They met here every Thursday to play Scottish folk tunes. A dozen of them started up with all sorts of instruments and voices. And onoxious drunk man with his guitar often interrupted, strumming out of time or trying to shout the song over the singing. The village idiot. Matt and I wondered if he was autistic. But talking to the locals we just learned he was an arsehole. At the bar Rob had a word to him and he left, and the music was better for it. A short man in his sixties drank stout from a bottle next to us. He’d lived in Rothesay all his life and worked as a steward on the ferry to the mainland.
He got up to dance and sing one song. Everyone began stomping their feet and singing the chorus and for a moment I felt blissfully jovial and at home. The song was ‘Doon in the Wee Room’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-uQat7OodE The room reverberated with the merriment of the singers and audience. I was down in that wee room in my mind, drinking and laughing life away.
We were up early with headaches. All but Alis, never drinking on the job. We returned to Largs, doing a man overboard exercise with a floating buoy on the way. We parted ways on the dock.
I was in two minds about the trip. For one, it was a brand new experience, I’d seen some great new places. On the other, while I’d learned a lot, I felt far from competent as a crew member, alongside four experienced sailors. If anything, I left knowing how incompetent a sailor I was. C’est la vie.
Lisa
I’d matched with Lisa on tinder in Cumbria, but she lived in Galloway, on the other side of the border. We texted for a while and eventually met up in Carlisle. She was Dutch, but spoke English with a Scottish accent. She loved Scotland, and wanted to live there for the rest of her life.
We met at the train station and walked over to Carlisle castle. We climbed a maintenance man’s ladder onto the castle walls and walked along them, watching the city go by. A ladybird strolled along the walls where we stood for a while. A grim place, we decided.
We had to climb down as the ladder had gone when we came back. We explored some more then went for a pint. We walked to the train station in a hurry. She bumped into a guy she knew who was with a girl and they chatted for a bit and then her train was leaving so she left in a rush and I didn’t think it went so well, but she texted me saying otherwise the next day.
A couple of weeks later I met Lisa again and had a great day. We met at Annan, near the Scottish border. There we followed the Annandale Way, a river path, to Hodom Castle. Well, Hodom Castle caravan park. The castle grounds were a campsite. The castle was in disrepair and entrance was blocked. We climbed into the castle yard, used for caravan storage, and had a picnic there. A ladybird rested on a blade of grass nearby.
When we were done we kissed but I had a runny nose so I stopped it. We walked back to Annan as the sun fell, hoping to hitch a lift but being unsuccessful. We held hands and trod on and it was alright. In Annan I had a pint and she a whiskey, at two different pubs. I really started to like her. She lived in her broken down van at an outdoor activity centre on Loch Ken, where she also worked. A similar situation to me, so we understood each other. We understood the great beauty of living on natures doorstep, and yet the isolation that came with it.
We had a proper kiss on the station platform, and with warm hearts caught trains headed in opposite directions. The last bus from Penrith had long gone when I got there, so I trekked home in the dark, and the warmth in my heart remained.
Wandering what to do
I had four weeks before my trip to Australia and was counting the days. I was lacking variety in my work, and longed for warmer weather. Lisa would be too busy to meet again before my trip. So on my next day off I hiked away with my goretex coat full of food, water, a torch, a map and a knife. I was hoping to reach Helvellyn, the highest peak in the area, but the days were getting very short. I hiked past Aira Force toward Glenridding. I had mushroom tea in a jar and I drank it when I turned off the Ullswater Way and followed a sign post that pointed toward ‘Seldom Seen.’ It was there I saw red squirrels for the first time in England. Seldom Seen indeed. I continued up and up and the weather was good and I reached a pass and could see Helvellyn. But it was late so I turned in the direction of Sheffield Pike and reached the summit. And it was magic. The future the present and the past swirled around in my mind and my thoughts were turbulent.
I found my way down to Glenridding and bought some beers and waited for the bus. The moon was high and full and bright and reflected off the lake as I walked back to the Quiet Site. When I got back to my van I felt great and alive and wanted to do something fun but it was the quiet site so I quietly listened to music and went to bed.
Winter Droving, Camilla’s Birthday
The next day I got up late and had a beer. I knew it was Camilla’s birthday so I messaged her wishing her a happy one and she invited me to her party that night.
I caught the bus to Penrith where the Winter Droving festival was being celebrated. Once it was a harvest style festival where the farmers drove their livestock through the village. There were people in fairy tale costumes and troll outfits roaming around town and the whole thing had a very paganistic vibe. There were market stalls and I drank mulled wine and Irish cream and roved around. There were two stages with great local bands, reggae, dub, psych-rock, alt-rock, celtic folk, ska. When it was dark the parade started. Giant animal shaped lanterns were paraded by different crews of masqueraded men and women who had competed in various competitions throughout the day – such as the pint carrying competition. I drank bitter from a can and when it was over I caught the train to Manchester. At the station there was a woman with her friends ready for a night. Fake tan, short skirt, singlet. I had three layers, a shawl and an overcoat on. She was visibly shaking from the cold. I almost offered her my shawl, but the train came. I would lose my shawl later.
On the train I ate a lot of cheese and bread and nut and a wrap and some fruit and drank beer. Then I opened a mindfulness app and meditated for an hour. If I was to party, then I ought to prepare my body and my mind.
When I got off the train my mind was in the right place. This is the place it should be before any recreation. I’m here to have a good time. I walked to her neighbourhood and called her as I did not know her exact address as she’d moved. I waited in a bar with free wifi and drank soft drink for the sugar kick and hydration. Eventually she messaged me back and I walked to her house. Inside I met her house mates and her friends and some familiar faces from last time. I put a case of beer in the fridge and started on the separate six pack to bring me up to their level.
It was fun. Everything seemed fluid. I drank and ate tapas and talked with Kurt and Mattias and newcomers. A guy wandered around with a wig and a silk dressing gown. I sat with Andy for a while, a local who lived in the flat and watched the madness go by. People carried on. A racist neighbour yelled at complaining about the Spanish at the party. I talked and talked and everyone was sloshed.
Camilla offered me some MDMA she’d been given as a birthday present. It looked clear to me so I had a bump. The euphoria and love came. And the time jumps. I’m sitting chatting. I’m on the balcony with Kurt and Mattias, my arms around Camilla, her touchy as a joint is passed around. I’m with Liz, the half-American half-English with a shaved head and wig. There’s no beer left. I get out my bottle of emergency port. There’s another gay couple there with ket and I have a bump. And I was in that dream like universal connectedness state where everything felt alright and everything happens was happening and will happen for a reason it’s nature feel the comfort and relax and enjoy this moment. A group of us sit passing the bottle of port talking all sorts. We all love and appreciate each other even though most of us are relative strangers to one another. There’s pockets of Spanish speaking Spanish, Galicians speaking Galician, and English speaking English. And everyone speaking English.
It’s a small apartment. I’m tired. Everyone is gone but Liz and I and Camilla. Liz goes to sleep in Camillas room. Camilla is all but asleep on the couch trying to roll a joint. I tell her not to bother we’re both practically asleep as it is. I put my shawl over her and I join her on the couch, using my coat as a blanket. It is broad daylight when I wake. I stumble outside to find a toilet, delirious, and remember I’m in Manchester so I wander up the stairs to the bathroom then collapse back on the couch.
I wake and drink two litres of water and plug my phone in to charge with the help of a Galician man. When I wake again I am well rested and feeling surprisingly well. Still dreamy but very content and not feeling ill at all. I gather my things and when I go to leave Camilla is on the couch so I kiss her farewell on the head and she looks like she’s seen much better days and I know she must know where my shawl is which I can’t find but I’m happy for her to have it, may it serve her as well as it’s served me.
I get to the train station and sit on the platform while I wait for the train. A worker comes up and asks me if– “Are you ok man?” I say, “Yes, I am going to Penrith.” He tells me when the train is expected and says I just wanted to make sure you’re ok. I reassure him I’m fine. And I was. I’ve never felt this content with everything the day after a party. I guess I achieved my goal, to have a good time. It was nice of him to ask though, I’m glad there’s guys like him working at train stations.
In Penrith, I missed the last bus home, and trudged contentedly home for 3 hours. I was at peace as I walked over fields and through forests in the fading light, listening to ambient music.
Four weeks pass by peacefully. I go to the local pantomime, an English Christmas time tradition. Owen, the bar manager at The Quiet Site wrote and directed it. The play fit with Owen’s character, being a gay conservative man. In pantomine tradition is was full of double etendre, quirky costumes, lewd jokes, audience interaction and musical numbers. The play was set in Roman Britain and compared the resistance to Roman rule in with Brexit.
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I've officially gotten to the point where I dislike some co-workers
Last night at work, I was making chips, dealing with things we had in the steamer that needed to be switched, and getting food that needed to be cut & prepped.
One of my co-workers decided we needed some ground beef cooked. He started that and ended up walking away.
I chopped it up a bit, moved it around, and return to my other tasks. The manager came in the kitchen "this isn't supposed to be on high," oh, I didn't realize it was. I didn't put that there.
The guy comes back "I did, but you're back here. You can multitask. Just do chips & tend to the grill" uh...I have more to do than just chips bud. He finishes the ground beef. Which, we have recently changed our ground beef and I haven't had to cook it since then. It's different than our previous ground beef, so I wasn't even sure what we were supposed to do differently or the same! (Seems to be, it just doesn't need to be drained. So that cuts out a huge step. Woohoo!)
The next time, I'm cutting up cheese blocks and splitting the pork between two containers and shredding it.
My back is turned to the grill. I have absolutely no reason to turn around. We also now have a third person with us.
At some point during this time the guy puts steak on the grill and just disappears (I'm completely unaware of both of these things). My focus is on the stuff I'm prepping and listening if the manager needs someone to help on the line.
The manager comes to the kitchen again. The steak has been on the grill almost too long and it hasn't been seasoned. "Who put this on?" Not me. Not the boy that recently came in. So obviously this guy. She asks where he is. We both state we don't know. "I had no idea he wasn't even in here. Or that he put steak on."
We save the steak.
The guy comes back. He starts going on a rant about "People need to learn to multitask. I shouldn't have to say anything for you to know to do something. This job is so easy!"
I'm not dealing with being blamed for his lack of communication. I know when I fuck up. This was not one of those moments! & I'll be damned if I'm gonna be dragged because this guy can't communicate with his team! "It is easy. So easy, you should be able to talk to us!"
"I shouldn't have to tell you though! You should just KNOW to do something. There's no one job here that only one person can do. We're in this together. If food needs to be cooked, cook it! If dishes need to be done, do them!" (He was talking about the boy that recently came in)
Every moment I tried saying something, he just kept getting louder about "you need to learn to multitask" despite me saying "I was! I had several things I was already doing." I don't have time to babysit the tasks he's doing plus my own just to make sure whatever he's started gets finished!
I have no problem finishing something up for people. Sometimes you get busy with other things. Sometimes you forget. No biggie! I'm glad to help out when I notice that's going on. But don't just EXPECT other people to do your fucking job for you just because "it's easy".
It is easy, SO EASY YOU HAVE TIME TO TELL US YOU ARE ABOUT TO GO TAKE A SHIT FOR 30 MINUTES!
So yeah, I now dislike two people. And I'm feeling very iffy about my manager. Because he and she are good friends, they work together and have classes together. She never goes against him. Like, bitch, do your fucking job and tell people when they are wrong! Stop letting him think he's the top gun of this place! He has no right to say who is or isn't doing their job. He can not keep thinking he can just disappear! Every time he fucking does that, we need him & have no clue where he's at! Or when he'll be back. BECAUSE HE DOESNT COMMUNICATE!
(last week, he started a rant about how Joel Osteen didn't owe anyone anything, like, opening his church to help people. I disagreed. He wouldn't shut up then either. The manager finally said it wasn't something that could be talked about ((as if I was even getting a chance to speak 😂)). I just walked away since I wasn't talking to begin with. He walks towards her and I STILL HEAR HIM MUMBLING! DUDE, FUCKING STOP! YOU ARE NOT RIGHT 100% OF THE TIME!
Yelling so that you are louder than everyone else, and not shutting the hell up so no one else can get a word in does not make you right!
No wonder he wants to be a fucking preacher and no wonder why the church's around here don't like him and his start up church is failing. I was jealous that he's in a relationship & engaged. But she's psycho, and now I understand why they are together. He's being punished for being a fucking dickhead! I hope with every fiber of my being she makes him miserable. I hope they DO get married. I hope he becomes a preacher, at a very conservative church. And then, they get divorced and he loses his creditability and he's kicked out. :)
#i work with him#every Saturday#fml#i really didnt wanna dislike people#but i do#hes so fucking arrogant#he boils my blood
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Tour Report 2019-South East Asia Tour The Monsters
This is a tour where Greta would Kill us Immediately, 7 flights, around 40'000km in 2.5 weeks, a city with about 7'000'000 mopeds, 26 of them battery operated at most ... I have only seen a few bikes driven by women over 100 years old (at least that).
I am the writer, Reverend Beat-Man, singer and guitarist of THE MONSTERS we have been touring with the New Zealanders THE CAVEMEN trough Vietnam, Taiwan and Japan
We already did the preliminary work a few years before this tour, we is: Pete Menchetti from Slovenly Records (Sticker Guy) from Reno (USA) ... he calls his series WE'RE LOUD FEST and Swan Lee our drummer both had exchanged about one Trillion mails, made balance sheets, culture suport Letters etc ... Money Zero but Fun= Factor +180 we were lucky to be supported a little bit by Pro Helvetia and the SUISA Fondation with a deficit guarantee (in Switzerland this is possible... thanks to my lovely country)
On Monday the Nov 19 we flew 12 hours to Vietnam and went in a taxi to Saigon (Ho-Chi-Minh City), in town there are over 7 million (they told me i didn’t count) motor scooters and they drive as it looks like all at the same time like maniacs mostly 2 but also 5 people on it, a huge chaos, everyone drives according to him just so fits first on one lane and then if enough space on the opposite lane as well no rules at all, we thought.. In the beginning it looks ultra chaotic, but i tell you if you make your own chaos music you know the deal, that there is a system in every chaos... so as well on Vietnam's streets... the trick: All vehicles are slow and they never stop, that means the traffic is always running and there is never a jam... unless someone is lying dead on the street... crossing the road as a pedestrian is a big challenge the trick is to never stop while walking Close your eyes and walk slowly in a straight line, then the mopeds will drive around you... if you make a stop or jerky movements you will be knocked over and die on the spot, like in a game, it's very simple
We're Loud Fest
———————
the welcome party was in the club Indika, in the front room a marriage orchestra playing the same shit music like all over the globe, just in vietnamese, in the back room DJ's Pete and Daddy O from Tokyo and as surprise act WASTED PIDO from Venice the One Man Band from the great DESTROY ALL GONDOLAS (Death Metal Surf).
One day later we had a party on an old Vietnamese steamer, the whole vehicle was finely carved out of rosewood and almost collapsed while dancing too wildly, I was allowed to start as REVEREND BEAT-MAN and KING KHAN & BBQ SHOW closed the evening, I can’t say anything about my show because I played it myself but it was fun, my striptease interlude and Tibetan vocal act were i guess a bit too much for them and king khan bbq show had taken over, the 2 were in a great mood and squeezed everything out of the kiddie PA System, the guitar was completely out of tune from the beginning to the end you could even see it as a concept and every line more stupid than the next one it was a great party.. i could hardly enjoy the concert because i stupidly switched to flirt mode and fell in love with all the women on the boat, after an unsuccessful tour we got drunk and at 2am we got into a strange taxi that took us to the hotel with 200 km/h in 3 seconds, the hotel was a family affair, the doors close after 8pm, the mother manager and wife for everything, i fell in love immediately, she had welcomed us, her children and husband and other family members of unknown origin all slept in the lobby under or on the table, temperature was estimated 10000 degrees and they all snuggled up comfortably in the thermo- feather blanket, we switched off the air conditioning for solidarity reason to the Family and Great off course and then got up in the morning in a sweat bath. For Breakfast you drink cold coffee with condensed milk or sit with diarrhoea on the Toilette.
We were lucky to be in Saigon in the un-touristic part (tourists quarter you recognises if it has Mc Donnalds/Starbucks sign… do not go there !! its shit 10 times as expensive, and full of Europeans and ‚i wanna see the amazing world‘ Americans) we walked around in the evening in our quarter and landed in the residential quarter, everyone had the doors far open, a honest driving between all inhabitants (not sexually) was to be observed.. i think loneliness and anti-social behaviour doesn't exist there, or hasn't arrived yet, because it's still something like a communism, an open one, whatever that means, i think when capitalism will take over, it will turn into a big fuck up shit shit hole like everywhere else,I think. Anyway but everybody in Saigon had some kind of business and sells something like living chickens (plucked alive they are then decapitated before the other living chickens ... shock therapy or something i guess) Rolex watches or fine sugar cane juice also skinning cute cuddly dogs is very popular, everything is on the ground and the ice-block supplier cleans his cocktail ice with stones from gutter, washed with stale water that dries quickly in the burning sun.. we have eaten and drunk everything, no matter how bizarre (dog (the one with the short legs, but no poodles) to the sky like rotten dicks stinking fruits and fermented fish) thanks to the demand we are still alive, and happier than ever.
On Saturday was the official festival start which ended one day later, many bands from the Asian region played, among others URGENT MATTER from Singapore I and all others Loved them very much, super cool old school hard core punk style, without stupid jumping around in ’shorts’. the songs are about 30 seconds and then one minute break because the singer tried to say something in English REIGN IN SLUMBER from Cambodia crusts Metal Punk super trash and the Ueber Hammer the same with DISTRICT 105 (Saigon) the headliner of the evening was CUT LON from Hanoi also known as Picachu Band, Hard Core, with official jumping and macho arm contortions and those Short Long shorts.. the shit ones, I think they are relatively famous and were not very friendly to us, that’s probably why, on the same evening THE CAVEMEN first with their country n western set THE VETERAN OUTLAW on the roof terrace, then as a complete band of Super Retards in the club, and like every evening and every time I saw them the kicked so much but that there was no butt anymore, Early Stooges paired with Glitter Punk and GG Allin, completely stupid and horny, everything is possible and everything they do especially drinking and taking drugs, THE TEWWZERS from Tokyo ex Teenegenerate, Power Pop high-flyers I have unfortunately missed because I was flirting, what one from Hawaii and her girlfriend from Brooklyn i think ajajaj... but all of them said they were great, THE CARRISON from Malaysia we met at dinner is Punk Rock'n'Roll and then TOTAL CONTROL from Australia from the asylum escaped Kraut Rocker and punks on LSD played with violins and flute but they also had problem with the 15 buck guitar amp for the estimated 100th time because there is no equipment in Vietnam, everything has to be ordered somehow PA amps etc.. and things like that are very hard to find and the equipment is not made for Rock'n'roll... rather for cuddle karaoke or Wedding Bands, at the end of the Night the: STOMPIN' RIFFRAFFS from Tokyo and they ruled the party, rock'n'roll covers with a Japanese attitude, piano and a theremin player who masturbated on stage in fishnet stockings. and i fell in love again, we (the Monsters) played as well, it was great, but i never get much out of it, because i'm playing... but i remember we played a piece in slow motion (sounds as stupid as it is)
We had to leave Saigon with a weeping eye and flew to Hoi An, Central Vietnam, We played again together with the Cavemen in a beach bar, because in Hoi An there are seldom or never concerts, they had problems to find a guitar and bass amp, the guitar amp was the size of a toaster, and with the bass amp they said it was the only one in Hoi An, we should pay attention and the Cavemen took it very seriously hahaha. in the middle of the show the guitarist came up with the great idea to do a somersault from the table down to the stage, in his imagination he would then land heroically on both feet and end up in the greatest guitar solo the world ever has seen, in reality he got stuck in a roof batten when he jumped off and a somersault turned into a New Zealand Meat bag that hit the floor and in between hit his backside of the head and the blood pulsating spurted out, the guitar head was broken off, luckily a doctor was there (someone who had read a book about a doctor) and everything turned out fine, after I fell in love with the hotel manager we went to Hanoi in the north of Vietnam at 5am, there it is much more communist, that means more bourgeois, you have to start haggling and so on.. we were too much overweight and they wanted a horrendous amount of money from us ... and we as honest and sincere Swiss were shocked and wanted to pay until Pete came and handed over 50Euros in his passport to the employee and everything was done with a friendly smile, Anyway I think I will never learn such a thing, I am too honest for me it is so embarrassing, I would like as well to be a little bit spoiled and and do bad things like all the others.
In Hanoi we then played in the first "real" club... with PA, a Soundmann Stagehands light and drum carpet etc
We played with EYEHATEGOD from New Orleans (USA) who I thought was OK but didn't knock my socks off, was a bit cool and serious and the whole thing and somehow wasn't dangerous at all, they were super cool guys except the singer, I think he's famous or something (back in switzerland i googld them and yes the are famous and i even have a record in my collection) anyway. my favourite band was TIMEKILLER from Saigon which is like Zeni Geva but on speed punk... so fucking cool and terrable loud they dont even have songs its just stupid and loud.. something… then I fell in love (one sided) with the singer's girlfriend and couldn't think anymore, the evening ended with a booze party and with noodle soupe and 2h sleep until the next flight to Taiwan.
Taipei is so Ultra Modern you won't believe it and you feel like a Swiss postcard mountain farmer, and the people Ultra Intelligent and also intellectually inspiring, ASA our Taiwan Manager, was beautiful as a picture and an organisational talent, photographer and main professional photo model, and multilingual of course. the Revolver Club was then also a regular club and as Taiwan is close to Japan, fans from Japan came to the show and we realised that we were back in civilisation. Records sign good backline, ATM's and Mexican food, unfortunately BB BOMB (taiwan girl punk band) had to cancel their concert because the singer got sick, but the whole band including the singer was present... maybe they were just too nervous you never know, but L-SCHEMA played, noise crusted punk of the local town with a drummer who hammers the beat with his lead foot in the fast lane, no sex and without any feeling, just go for it stupid punk as we love it, we finally arrived in the tour and gave our best concert so far I think, it was just dirty diarrhoea coming out of my mouth and it was a lot of fun, also for the Cavemen, whose guitarist played now on a Taiwanese cheap guitar played and gave everything and much more, the people were enthusiastic, I asked around about the situation with China and so, they said that they were all afraid of what zz going on in Hong Kong at the moment, because the origin of the whole problematic is in Taiwan, but they are mainly afraid of the Chinese spies who spy in Taiwan and no one can talk free from the liver.. everything is a little bit tense the whole thing I think and makes me worried, they are beautiful great people.
Then we were allowed to sleep for 3 hours and off to the plane to Nagasaki in Japan, where we were warmly welcomed by a punk grandmother (Kaori, our Japanese tour manager) and a Japanese 30's swing cowboy who turned out to be a fan of the Monsters and in real life is a real estate agent, and I was happy to be in my beloved Japan.
The Beta Club is small but nice, I forgot with which bands we played together, I was so tired from not sleeping and still had the Taiwanese tour manager in my head, but we went by bus in the early morning to Tokyo, my musicians told me this was the best trip of their lives, rice fields, remote villages, picture Beautiful landscapes women with strange Hats and Japanese folk music etc, I have unfortunately completely overslept the whole trip, do not even know if we flew again or not, a complet Black out.. sorry readers.
In Tokyo we were welcomed we gods and were allowed to play 2x in the Heavy Sick Club and our old friend Mr Dead at the cash desk gave us free drinks the whole night, the first evening my favourite Japanese One Man Band KATZGRAIS (Tokyo) played who is also a guitar builder and introduced his invention of the shovel guitar, after that he also played with his psychobilly band THE PSYCLOCKS , on the same evening we had PHANTOM TIKIRARZ a surf band with masks on the program after that i leaned towards the sake on ice and hot and MADPPETS entered the stage this is like Addams Family music but punk and sex, first i fell in love with their music then with the bass player and finally with the organ player and flirted it into the floor after the concert, on drums was Yuki Kono from the legendary THEEE BAT (Mika Bat †) but my complete favourite was HASIL NUTS from Tokyo with our tour manager Kaori on drums, the whole band can't play at all they are terrable great, Kaori (drums) is somehow hitting the drums without any concept, the guitarist is very concentrated and messes up everything and the other guitarist who would actually be the drummer is shrinking and just making pointless noises, the singer wears a net stocking full body dress and around his loins an apron made of nuts and sings 'king of the laod' the sound settles down, to a David Lynch movie but even weirder paired with The Legendary Stardust Cowboy, can you follow? that was awesome, we (the Monsters) played great and the people were almost freaking out, so did the Cavemen, the same evening THE FADAWAYS played they famous in Europe (soundflat records) and are super killer back from the Grave Garage Fuzz Punk.
We invested our last money in food and useless Japan junk, on the return flight we had again huge problems checking in the guitar cases into the plane (SWISS) they were 7cm too big and they made a huge drama, they charge 300euro more per guitar and we almost went crazy, already completely blank and so on, then we fell asleep in the plane completely exhausted.
My conclusion is that I had a huge after tour blues, not like normal, it was much bigger, and had to do with how the Vietnamese live together, talk and function, all doors open and treat everybody as equal, had reminded me of my time in the Squats i lived in and how much I miss it and how I hate to live in a society where people work against each other and not with each other.. i also know that what is here will also come there and i am so sorry for that i hope you learn to appreciate what you have and that not having more is more... yes less is more, but im a Dreamer and live in Utopia
anyway i love you Vietnam i love you Taiwan and i love you japan and i hope to come back soon and i am very proud that my stupid music works there too, thanks
Links
Guitara Kyo (Japan) https://youtu.be/LAFPnH5Blak
Urgent Matter (Singapur) https://youtu.be/xOp1qSr1A3w
Reign in Slumber (Cambodia) https://youtu.be/NEwjni4tXvY
District 105 (Saigon) https://youtu.be/npft6MHufqc
Timekiller (Saigon) https://youtu.be/bAAkwYqTN1o
Cut Lon (Hanoi) Picachu band https://youtu.be/lhOxr6v_Gvk
the Tewwzers (Tokyo) Teenegenerate, power pop https://youtu.be/zJbgHBpXXVo
the Carrison (malaysia) https://youtu.be/EXenEY8-Fu8
Total Control (Australia) https://youtu.be/RYrME08UPE0
the Cavemen (NZ) the Veteran Outlaw https://youtu.be/67dJ-E61AcY
Stompin' RiffRaffs (Tokyo) https://youtu.be/j4v2FjIxNLQ
BB Bomb (taiwan) https://youtu.be/SYXu7eSIjJg
L-Schema (Taiwan) https://youtu.be/bcNHGc7OAJM
Phantom tikirarz (japan) https://youtu.be/kBprrMnYuVk
Madppets (Japan) https://youtu.be/dvmlzZr-Kjk
The Psyclocks (Japan) https://youtu.be/znIWURke2zw
Katzgrais (Japan) https://youtu.be/QkSIShkPI8Y
Wasted Pido (italy) https://youtu.be/k5JuVA7RJn4
the Fadaways (Japan) https://youtu.be/yT62UfKbBlg
Hasil Nuts (Japan) https://youtu.be/-kOUHDJbcSo
Eyehategod ( usa) https://youtu.be/VepTkVmh-WA
King Khan & BBQ Show (CAN) https://youtu.be/LpA7I8SpkxQ
Reverend Beat-Man (CH) https://youtu.be/zUlCyhpovjE
the Monsters (CH) https://youtu.be/zs7CQBHyo3Y
19.11 - Flug CH - Saigon
22.11 - Saigon - Indochine Junk Boat Cruise
23+24.11 - Saigon - Arcan (Vietnam)
26.11 - Hoi An - Soul Beach/Hon Bien (vietnam)
28.11 - Hanoi - Hanoi Rock City (vietnam)
29.11 - Taipei - Revolver (thaiwan)
30.11 - Nagasaki - Beta (japan)
1+2.12 - Tokyo - Heavy Sick Club (japan)
4.12 - Flug Tokyo-CH
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April 21st
Well my drive down was nice and extremely reminiscent of all my previous drives. I got to Tech early, so I went off to Tabor to crack open a bottle of champagne and look at that view again. It was nice, but it wasn’t the same as when I used to live there. It made me miss Brooke and Robin, and just getting drunk until the next Owens shift.
I went down Whipple, just for old memories sake. It was super hot, and I didn’t fancy just drinking in my car, so I drove over to Connors. His apartment wasn’t much, but I guess it was in a good location. He’s really changed since I’ve last seen him. The depression has really hit him hard. He’s gained a ton of weight, and seems to be taking the Colin Scott way of graduating, where he drinks everything in sight and avoids responsibility. Anyway, around 2:30, I headed off to Owens like usual. I didn’t park up where I used to, but it was just down the ways. I wanted to go in the back dock entrance, but I wasn’t sure if I really could anymore, so I went in the front entrance.
Instantly that Owens smell hit my nostrils. I could hear the clatter of plates, and just for a minute I was taken back to every Sunday afternoon meeting that I came in for. Every midshift I decided to help out for. Every late night dismissal from Drew as Dereyk and I walked out. Once I got up to the managers station, I was bombarded by hugs and yelps. I honestly cant really remember who was all there, but I was touched all the same. Tony hugged me several times, which that moment alone is something I won’t forget in a hurry. He told me what had been going on, and then told me to go and change. I hadn’t seen Colin yet, but Tony had claimed, “He’s waiting for you back in plastic wash”. Even though I knew this wasn’t true, it brought me right back. I went into the bathroom and too a few more shots, but I was careful not to overdo it. I went back out and ended up talking to a few more before being told to go and cover Freshens. Strangely I thought that Monica would annoy me, as she was trying to be me, but she didn’t. I was a mess in Freshens, I mean it was my weakest shop to begin with, but they have changed everything around, and added a few more things. Still I was in there by myself and I had to make it work. Thinking back, it reminded me of a Saturday shift, where I didn’t really want to be in there, but I knew it wouldn’t be long. Lauren stopped by and couldn’t believe I was in Freshsens by myself after doing Potwash. I told her it was good to be back, and I guess it was. Tony had to leave early, even though he told me that he was going to stay until close that night. Unfortunately this meant that I was going to have to close with Drew. With no Dereyk to defend me. I teased Tony for leaving, for being pathetic and not finishing a shift, and he just laughed and hugged me again. I couldn’t believe how nice he and Lauren were being. I knew I was his fave.
Finally Drew came up and told me that I needed to back to my home, the reason I was here, to relieve Maryanne. Shawnee stopped by, despite being in the middle burying her Aunt, just to see me. I took a picture with them, so that I had some memory of the day. I was unbelievable touched, but once again, I couldn’t express myself. I went back to pasta and found that they had moved a few more things around, but I was in for the best surprise of the day. When I was back messing around in potwash like old times, I heard someone come in and yell, “NO WAY sis is that you?” I turned around and saw a beaming brother Will holding a pot. Turns out he had singed up for a steamer shift, which meant we were going to be spending the evening together like old times. Even typing this makes my heart swell. God I had missed him. It wasn’t a shift unless he and I were joking around with egg roll challenges, and teasing each other about our stupid made up childhoods. Even though it was amazing to be back with the regulars, I felt the lack of power. I was partially the “who the hell is this” girl. So with Will and I set to work Parm, I nestled myself in the middle for the sauces, and stood by to cover for Maryanne. Unfortunately, one person wasn’t enough for the record breaking line, so they sent in another FPS, and finally Colin Scott and I were reunited behind the counter of Pasta. I had only said one thing to him earlier, when he came through the carvery line, and had called him Blake. I did it because I knew that it would annoy him, but I left it at that.
The night passed pretty quickly from there, as we were kept pretty busy with the endless customers. Col and I hardly said a word to each other, something that I remarked as the time drew closer to 8pm. He finally said, “Well I only say long or short, so unless you want to take one of those as an insult...” and that was pretty much it, other than a shared chuckle over him messing up the pasta serving size. After that we parted ways, and didn’t say another thing to each other. Even though part of me still doesn’t believe it, I guess it honestly was to be expected. I feel like most of Owens was expecting it to be like old times, but it just wasn’t. I guess it was something new, some place that I didn't’ belong anymore.
They put me on fryer duties, which was hilarious as that’s the one student manager job i was terrible at. I seemed to do all right with Monica’s help and she filled me in on what had been going on at the big O. It was nice that her and Tristan were dating. I watched him chase her for a year, and it was so nice to see that it actually worked out. Their the new Colin and Amy, ones that won’t argue and hate each other at the end. I honestly didn’t have any beef with Colin, but when I got there early on, Micah told me that people had been teasing him that I was coming into town and his response was “I’m going to stay as far away from her as possible’. Basically the same shitty mood that we left on that day at D2 or that last night at Whipple. I don’t know why he hates me, but I guess he does.
I spent the rest of the night helping Monica close and sort of check out shops. It was nice that they let me go back and do my old jobs. Honestly, I didn’t do much work, but as everything was for free that night, I guess I don’t mind. At the end of the night, I had a weird conversation with Drew, who asked where I was going to stay the night, so glad to know that he’s still creepy. The plan was go with Monica and Tristan to Colin’s new place. All of Whipple was back in town and it seemed like it would be a lot of fun. But, there was a part of me that couldn’t get the notion that Colin wanted to stay as far away as possible from me. Yeah, it would have been nice to see the others, but I knew that Colin’s attitude would just wreck me because even though it’s been a year, I’m still pathetic. Colin’s leaving for Texas, which is something he should have done a year ago. He really was different at work. He was kind of his old self with Monica, which would have bugged the shit out of me if it weren’t for Tristan, but otherwise, he just wasn’t. He was subdued. He wasn’t the same happy person he was when he was student manager. Or last year. He probably doesn’t miss me. But he’s not the same. He’s lost the will power, which is good, otherwise he’d stay there for life, and even after everything else, I just want him to be happy.
Anyway, I couldn’t face it all again. I finally felt like Blacksburg was haunted for me. I needed to get away. Pete, Frank, and Sky were down for the weekend and celebrating Pete’s birthday but I was a million miles away. It was relay and Pete wasn’t phoning me to tell me to stop being charitable and come over and get drunk with everyone else. It was a Friday night, and I wasn’t trying to get over to Whipple to waste a few hours before my beloved Saturday morning shift (which he doesn’t have anymore). I wasn’t going to an Owens party to be that person who everyone knew and liked to talk to. I wasn’t going home to spend the evening with Bethany, Sarah, and Mike, watching an old movie and smoking, I wasn’t going to sit out on Whipple, as the warm spring air surrounded me, trying to grasp graduation, and basking in the “almost finished” air. All of that was gone, and it wasn’t coming back. I didn’t belong here anymore. Sure I could go over to Colin’s, be mad that he won’t talk to me, embarrass myself, fuck someone I didn’t really like, and head home feeling like a hoe bag to host prom, reminding myself that I’m still this desperate person who is dying for someone to love her.
So I resolved to drive to Maddy’s, as it was halfway to home, plus it meant that I would be able to spend part of Saturday with her, as that was something that I wanted to do that weekend anyway. It was a hell of a long drive, and I had to keep slapping myself to stay awake. Zack Russel called me at some point along the way, but I ignored it. I had already gone too far. I hadn’t said anything to Monica and Tristan, and just decided to leave. I got to Maddys around 1 and she had thankfully ordered some cookies, which tasted amazing, as I hadn’t eaten dinner, other than a lone breadstick. I thought I would get so much food, and I even got a meal pass, but everything closed up early.
I don’t know if I made the right choice. I don’t know if I’m going to regret it. It’s just the choice that I made.
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