#and boy do i wish sometimes
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(guy who is several of 'emself voice) i wonder if im genderfluid
#sure ill post this here. if I know/knew you irl uh. move along you didnt see anything#Anyways! having a fascinating time in regard to my presentation. im not hating it either#i think i should be more trans overall. anyone want to be more trans with me?#i was so... ashamed? to be this? but frankly i think i should allow myself to have this as part of my identity if I wish.#and boy do i wish sometimes#it's like... hm. I want to exist.#anyways thats entirely different than the joke im making in-post lol#I'm going to bed!!! see you til the 'morrow. I'll bet the me i'll be then won't be thrilled to see this posted on main#radio navigation
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Two young knights
#TeuTemp sketch :)#shoutout to the like two teutemp fans out there they are so cute#Love the few interactions they have in the manga wish there was more 😔#be the character interaction you want to see in the world#I wanna do more fanart of these two I love em#me: I hate armor so much#also me: continues to draw exclusively fantasy medieval characters#everyone look at my two little knight bois#I like to imagine sometimes they get to act like kids during trade markets and stuff and run around looking at things and eating sweets#fated to end in tragedy :)#the dialogue in my head was like#Gilbert: the hell are you lookin at?!#Gabriel: be nice Gil ^^#I’ve seen so many names for Knights Templar#I like Gabriel and Hadrian and also maybe Salomon the most#historical hetalia#hetalia fanart#hetalia#teutemp#aph teutonic knights#aph knights templar#hws prussia#aph prussia#hws knights templar#gilbert beilschmidt#digital art#my art#commissions open#artists on tumblr#fanart
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I'm gonna be shitting and screaming and starting fights if Sera becomes a villain. I can't take sibling angst, Sera loves Emily I swear guys believe meeee.
#im making a fanfic of two and a half halos and the mc is Emily and it focuses alot on her and sera's dynamic#ill probablg send it here when im done. in 100 years because i havent finished a fic in 20 centuries#hazbin hotel sera#seraphim#hazbin sera#emily hazbin hotel#hazbin emily#hazbin hotel emily#emily seraphim#hazbin hotel#PLEASE DONT MENTION HAND PLACEMENF PLEASE /S#I WAS DRAWINF THIS AT 3 AM AND I KEPT BLACKINF OUT BUT I KNEW ID LOSE MOTIVATION IF I DIDNT FINISH#I DIDNT NOTICE UNTIL I WAS DONE SO PLS JST- IDK. JST LOOK AT MY BABIES#i headcanon Sera as trans. for pride month i have the idea of putting every ship and character under their pride flags#sooo sera is gonna be covered with a trans flag and emily... also trans becauze everyone is trans becauze o said so#charlie is ALSO trans because i said so#i came up wit trans sera on my own(idk if it existed be4 but i jst thot of it and got all happy cuz she is so trans idc) but#i freaking love trans emoly and trans charlie so for a bit i felt wrong for hc so many characters as trans#rhen i woke up one day and was loke. yeah idgaf they all trans cuz theres not enoigh#like im not gonna ALAAYS depict them as trans except sera(she is 100% trans to me) i like the other hcs for fun. im so srs for sera i 💜 her#sera just wants to hug her huggable sister sometimes and thats ok! 💜💜#art#fanart#artists on tumblr#digital art#*in stupid egg boy voice* i wish Sera would hold ME in her arms... 😔#gave them snouts because i cannot deal with the no noses. it genuinely disturbs me. have yall SEEN velvettes side profile omfg 😨#my babies... i just want them to be happy. why must there be sibling angst... they jst want to do whats right ☹️#im gonna fight to protect Sera from spme of yall fr fr cuz she do not deserve to be SO hated. JST. JST GET TO KNO HER I SWEAR SHE COOL#like i get it. what she doin is wrong. but if you was in her shoes you know you would do the same dont even lieeee 😨
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Me, going about my day: i really like alhaitham and kaveh and whatever is happening between them. precious boys need to keep them safe
Evil Thoughs tm popping up in my head once in a while: canonically, Kaveh wants to be remembered. Alhaitham is a Scribe, which implies that he's keeping records. Alhaitham is closest to Kaveh and knows him really well. Alhaitham will be the best at remembering Kaveh. Therefore it might be a possibility that Alhaitham will outlive Kaveh, and by much-
Me, suddenly distressed: shut up shut up shut up-
#ah yes don't you love it when your thoughts go and do. that#anyways wishing nothing but the best to the boys may their respective reruns happen soon#genshin impact#genshin impact thoughts#genshin impact headcanons#genshin impact kaveh#genshin impact alhaitham#haikaveh#kavetham#alhaitham x kaveh#afinna explores teyvat#this was actually partially inspired by the idea that Vision holders give something up in order to receive a Vision#and if the Vision encompasses the most sincere wishes of the weilder#what will happen when the weilder achieves these dreams while still being alive#in my hc achieving the passion that Vision symbolizes like. annihilates you from existence on a certain level or smth idk#on this point. in-game we've seen people gain visions. get their visions taken away. and die while having a vision (kazuha's friend).#i wonder what will happen to a person when they achieve the goal that allowed them to get their vision in the first place#i think that would be interesting#also idk sometimes i look at kaveh and go 'ah yes you have the narrative potential of dying at some point of the story and I. Am. Worried.'
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if I had a nickel for each rottmnt trend I set I would have 3 damn shiny nickels
#I inspired 2 other people to do a collab comic (neither are finished/posted yet but hey one I participated in and im excited for it!)#I made the peepaw leo cowboy trend go from a 2 to a 10 on the popularity scale#now all my mutuals are all also wanting to make keychains/merch#oh my god#nonsense#is now a good thing to mention that the next thing I want to do is one of those ask events#where for a full day people just send asks and instead of me (ell) answering its the 2al boys#drawings of them answering and everything#will probably do this sometime in december/early january#anyways leaving for a plane trip first in the morning tomorrow#and good news!#I finished lines for next 2al update#I think it was 59 panels...?#I think it was 59 goddamn panels.#so that will get posted whenever I get around to coloring it#which will probably be monday or tuesday#<3#wish me luck imma be dying all day tomorrow btw#also keychain preorders are closing tomorrow#ok goodnight tumblr#I am just having many many thoughts tonight ig#also that 2al cameo in the cass video still feels like a fever dream.#that does not feel like it happened.#that did not hapen.#nope#I dreamed it#good lord is this a tag wall
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https://x.com/MERCL4REN/status/1743286121973555513?s=20
find the difference level impossible :D but seriously, this tweet gave me a stomachache from laughing so hard.
THERE'S MY TWO CREEPY TOO SIMILAR VESTAL VIRGINS THAT MAKE ALL THE MEN ON THE GRID (except lewis) GO HUUUHHHHH???
#the tweet text salgfljasgfhljashfslja truth#but I love how they sometimes turn just wayyy too similar and at a distance the grid is like wait which is....#and when they drove triumphantly back to the pits those two times fist bumping across the air as they were side by side#the other drivers were like ohhhhh boy I don't like this#if they can weather a bad car the same#and then succeed in a good car almost the same#what will become of us mere men??#we do not like The Arts we do not like Silent Communication we do not know what they are saying when it is Just The Eyes#we are but men who get angry and dejected alone or celebrate and shout at the top alone or maybe we thump our brothers backs and laugh loud#what are these delicate creatures with hairless cheeks and babysoft heads of hair and adolescent skins#only Lewis stands apart and watches the pair with knowing and gladness that the future will be theirs#the natural rightful heirs to his disruption and inveigling of the most homogeneous sport known to man#Carlos: the Piastri Boy does not like me but he is soft like a woman should I love bomb him or fist bump him what do I do#Charles: I feel as if I should be one of them but The Men want me over here oh but I wish I could Join Them in Silent Beautiful Eeriness#what the FUCK am I saying#inchreplies#vestal virgins au
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I have two wolves in me
One wants Skidad to be a chaotic evil irredeemable villain that kills kids for his immortality cult and only married Lila and has Skid for the cult
The other wants Skidad to have done terrible no good very bad things for the cult but then died and has been trapped in the mannequin and forced to reflect on all the shit he's done for years until by episode 10 he's a completely different person and he still cracks jokes all the time
#augh I'm tired it's 11pm#i have a headache#i tried to finish do androids dream of electric sheep? tonight but couldn't keep my eyes open long enough#I'm watching wendigoon's essay on skinamarink and wishing that movie had a few more Creatures in it#sorry for these random little tagents (ha) i go on sometimes#i will not stop#pure stream of consciousness here#anyways yeah good boy v bad boy#Skid's dad's gonna be so morally grey he's gonna rival rose quartz#and them become a tumblr sexyman#spooky month#sm skidad#skidad#skiddad#sm skiddaf#sm skid's dad#skid's dad
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my bf is my #1 fan and it’s the sweetest thing 🥺☹️
#i wish i could see myself the way he sees me !!! 🥹#he told me today that he thinks i could be an ig model if i rlly wanted to do it 😭😭😭😭😭😭#idk if he’s exaggerrating but he wouldn’t stop looking at me over lunch 😭🥺#i get super awkward and shy when i’m looked at or complimented so aksnsjxn#but 🥺 what a precious boy 🥺#making me laugh and smile all the time 🥺#it feels like a dream sometimes 🥺#lovebug#sorry i am mush we are 6 yrs old today 🥹#i have also known him for a third of my life 😭#i talked so much again
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unhinged at midnight thinking abt how different life could have been if till didn't turn back when ivan tried to escape with him
#hyuna isn't much older than them but she found her way and i wanna think they would too#make it to the human resistance eventually#do you think they could have learned to be more normal to each other#actually getting to be around other humans#who treat each other kindly and like real people#and they could be there when mizi got rescued..... they'd all be safe together.......#mizi wondering what happened to those two boys who mysteriously vanished when they were kids#and seeing them again after hyuna rescues her#alien stage isn't a series where traumatized people escape from hardship and topple the institution that caused it#with the power of love and friendship#but man sometimes i wish it was.
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Richard,
I hope you don't mind, but I happened upon you deep in thought in the castle courtyard and...well, the sight took my breath away.
I used a Muggle contraption (I believe they call it a camera) to capture these still images. You look almost corporeal...
E 🖤
E, my dear,
I am most intrigued by this Muggle contraption, and even more so — by how well you were able to capture me and my heart with it. And what a coincidence! I must admit, I had no idea that anybody was there at the time as I was most likely preoccupied with matters regarding me... Well, you said it yourself, looking corporal. If you have the time, allow me to explain.
You see, for the past two weeks I have been experimenting with something known as ancient magic. I cannot really see it but I can feel it when I am somewhere near the source, and I can really feel it if I touch it. If I spend plenty of time doing just that and focusing on being corporal — I seem to become so! Well, whatever part of me is surrounded by magic anyway.
That photo you took — I believe it was the first time that I have attempted to fully step into the stream of magic a day or two ago. The reason I needed to conduct some experiments first is rather serious as well: when the magic starts sipping away (and it never holds for longer than one day) I... Well, I am yet to find a way to make the transition back to my ghostly form less painful. As much as I was craving to feel, I forgot that pain is an integral part of life as well.
Needless to say that as fun as being able to be me again was, by the time I walked all the way back to the castle in my human form (and I got lost so many times since I could not just fly above the land toward the castle, oops) I was so tired that I just fell asleep on a bench somewhere near that area your camera captured me. When I woke up — I was a ghost again. At the very least, whatever pain I might have gone through that night, I slept through it.
I do hope that you are doing well, my darling. The sight of me should not be taking your breath away but instead making your heart beat and your soul soar. I hope you continue working on those still images because I did not get a chance to look at myself in the mirror that night. You are my only witness and I am honoured to have you share that special moment with me.
Thinking of you, always,
Richard Jackdaw
P. S. May I hope that someday I would be granted permission to call you by your proper name, my lady E?
#richard jackdaw#The Real Boy Thursday#hogwarts legacy rp#hogwarts legacy#cuffmeinblack#asks#E#tw: death#Ah I was going to do my 3rd Journal entry today regarding my advancements with ancient magic#But your letter couldn't have come at a better time#I am sorry for hijacking your letter for my selfish reasons#I am forever in your debt#[I do not wish to truly resurrect Richard]#[But I do want to roleplay him as an alive character as much as a ghost]#[Was planning to set this whole thing up before I start reaching out to other blogs but you guys jumped on him in the best of ways]#[And I gave in]#[But the goal is: take both ghost and alive asks into account without having to explain how it's possible]#[As soon as Richard figures out his/magic's limitations he will no longer be addressing his experiments]#[I am here for fun rp and everyone is free to pick any other reason as to why Richard is sometimes alive XD doesn't really matter to me]#[Any alternative universe works as long as you somehow manage to convey it in your asks!]
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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I'm about to start quoting "the lake's right over there if you're gonna be a silly goose" forever. Your tag made me crack up
I'll do ya one better
#asks#not a phrase original to me but boy do I find it useful#sometimes I simply need to express a sentiment stronger than 'you're wrong'#but milder than like. ill-wishing someone for their non-crime of Being Wrong
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ANNETTE — “Hi, ace detective.” The young girl stifles a yawn. “We’ll be closing up soon, I’m afraid. Is there anything I can help you find?”
EMPATHY — She’s hoping the answer is yes. Any excuse to take a break from the dreaded *math homework.*
“No thanks, I was just on my way out.” [Leave]
“It’s okay, I don’t want to distract you from your studies.”
“Yeah, actually. I’m looking for a book.”
ANNETTE — She tries and fails to hide her relief as she sets her textbook under her chair. “Of course! What are you looking for, sir?”
“A happy story.”
“A sad story.”
“Something that will make me a better detective.”
“Something that will make me a better person.”
“Something about how to mend a broken heart.”
ANNETTE — “Oh…” She frowns, staring up at the shelves as if hoping that the perfect book will miraculously catch her eye. “Umm… Let me think…”
EMPATHY — She’s genuinely trying to think of one. She wants to help you.
ANNETTE — After a long, long pause, Annette finally lets out a sigh of defeat. “…I’m not sure,” she admits sadly. “I’m sorry, sir.”
YOU — “You can’t think of anything at all?”
ANNETTE — “Well… We do carry some self help books, sir, but…” She casts a quick glance around the store.
REACTION SPEED — Making sure Plaisance is out of earshot.
ANNETTE — The girl leans in conspiratorially and whispers, “Mother says those books are all snake oil. ‘If all it took to change somebody’s life was a book, *we* would be sitting quite prettily.’”
DRAMA — Her Plaisance impression is uncanny! What talent!
YOU — “Why do you sell them, then?”
ANNETTE — “Well,” she coughs, “not everyone agrees with my mother.”
RHETORIC — Translation: because people buy them. It’s as simple as that.
ANNETTE — “But I don’t think that’s quite what you’re looking for, is it, sir…?” She looks up at you with that seemingly impossible mixture of innocence and knowing that is unique to children.
“Yeah, you’re right. It isn’t.”
“No, I think I’ll give the self help books a try.”
“I’m not really sure what I’m looking for, to be honest.”
ANNETTE — She nods slowly, looking down at her frayed nails. “Lots of people come into the shop not quite knowing what they’re looking for. But that’s what’s so nice about bookshops, don’t you think? No matter where you look, you can find *something* interesting.” She smiles bright enough to light up every dark corner of the bookstore and the doomed commercial area below it. “I’m sure you’ll find what you’re looking for, ace detective. Maybe you just have to let it find *you.*”
+1 MORALE
VOLITION — Here in this bookshop. In Martinaise. Revachol. The world. This seemingly wretched lifetime. In the midst of it all, there is always something for you. Uncurl your fist. Let it find your palms upturned.
#disco elysium#harry du bois#annette (disco elysium)#i care her…#im terribly fond of annette for reasons that are hard to put into words#she’s just a really good kid… 🥺#and also i kin her bc i work at a bookstore too lmao#which is what got me thinking abt this one#i think it’s the nature of retail in general that u meet ppl from all walks of life but esp at the places ive worked#at the bookstore sometimes u will get someone asking for certain books/subject matter that’s just like…#hey do you have any books about how to deal with [insert very specific and very sad life event]#and ur like oh… :( i can try…#and ur a stranger and this is a professional setting so u don’t wanna get personal#but it’s still like. damn. wish i could just beam into ur brain that im wishing nothing but the best for you#anyway. i think annette does that without even trying#i like her… i care her…
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i dont know how to say this but if you aren't ready to get your work beta read, don't get beta readers p.p
#it isnt about anyone here but boy#i started editing/beta reading years and years ago for money and most authors dealt well with my feedback#i mean im getting paid for giving feedback so#but some were just. Not ready#nowadays i dont do it for money anymore just for fun & for stories that interest me#and sometimes the author just. isnt ready. and i get it bc putting your work out there is fightening#but im NEVER rude/hostile#and it gets weird when you notice the author and/or their friends (yeah really) apparently arent happy with your feedback#at this point i dont know if i should be honest anymore and would rather just quit#whew#it sucks ass to be wary of making a comment on something even tho you are always careful with your words bc maybe the author wont react wel#im here to read and give feedback not walk around eggshells#ANYWAY#i will try to write today#wish me luck#ren.txt
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.
#i miss my dumbass idiot cat so much i feel like im dyingggggg licherally that is my little baby guy i want my little baby boy back wtf#i cant deal with this shit i genuinely wish i was dead so bad#im having a worse day with it than usual and my usual was this bitch on suicide watch fr#I feel like its really starting to hit me that hes gone. and it kills me what do u mean hes never coming back thats my angel my baby i need#him#all i do is weep wish for death weep weep some more death wish again sometimes im granted complete numbness for up to several hours#i love totally dead inside time its the only time i can look at pictures of him without being 3 seconds away from throwing up#then its back to weeping on the floor. if i cant boop his little tiny nosey in the next 5 minutes im ending it all im not kidding#not to be dramatic but i feel like a part of my soul died with him lol#anyway. i hope i die#also everyone ignore me no one say anything i just needed to type this out#bb baby#txt.me
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I think as writers we should hold funerals for our WIPs more often.
Dearly beloved, gather us here today where this fic of some middle-aged man getting rawdogged and this other fanfic about the importance of friendship are laid to rest, because the author got really distracted playing that new video game.
We celebrate what could have been, cut-and-recycle those really good lines or ideas, because I swear I'm going to use them, I swear! And drag this poor document not to the great recycling bin or trash, but to the "graveyard" folder because sometimes I like to commune with the dead.
#fanfic#Writing#I just had to throw out 5k words of a one shot over something I can't change/control but I never delete old WIPs#I do just put them in a folder and still backup that folder with my other files#Yes some of my earlier ideas were horrendous but also there's a part of me still there in each of them#Sometimes it's less about the writing and more about who I was I want to sometimes revisit#Who was the teen girl writing gore at 15 and what would she think of today's writing#Who was the insecure fearful loveless boy who over expressed his masculinity online and wrote tough lonely guy characters#I don't want to be them anymore but when I hate myself sometimes it's nice to read what I've written#You hear the problems you never thought youd overcome in the author notes or in the subject and those fears and pain#You also see the first time you wrote a subject#I wish I hadn't deleted lots of my writing from when I was very young#Some I did because it legitimately could cause or encourage harm if left online#But I think I always smile when I see the old “this year is 8th grade” because by golly#Still think it's hilarious I got really into writing in middle school because I was jealous of someone else's writing ability in 6th grade#I can remember the exact moment I looked at my 2 page story and was filled with jealousy because they wrote 12 pages and my story felt so..#I remember going home and going 'i know I can write something good!' and people will like it!#And then like while looking for some place to upload writing I found fanfic
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