Tumgik
#and also I think it’s funny to have the timer perpetually at two seconds
ghost-bxrd · 4 months
Note
later that night
i held an atlas in my lap
ran my fingers across the whole world
and whispered
where does it hurt?
it answered
everywhere
everywhere
everywhere
(Warsan Shire)
Not any particular Batfam character but I thought it was a sad quote.
Tumblr media
experimenting with colors and techniques is really fun, thank you for the quote 💚💚💚
152 notes · View notes
blasphemecel · 4 months
Text
Shidou Ryuusei — Like Teeth
PAIRING: Shidou Ryuusei/Reader WORD COUNT: 3.6k TYPE: Humor, Feelings realization, idfk what this even is but i threw in some surprise fluff at the end WARNING(S): Nsfw jokes but cmon it's shidou you gotta forgive me for finding sex funny this once, play-fighting that doesn't seem very playful, canon-typical mental illness, canon-typical unnecessary dramatics, canon-typical overly intense soccer rivalry NOTE: Reader is a part of the blue lock project but no concrete gender identity or pronouns are specified
It starts like this:
After the freaky nerd from the ceremony whose name you hadn’t bothered remembering finishes with his instructions about this game of tag you’re supposed to be playing, the biggest asshole in the room immediately targets you once he realizes you’re the one with the highest number on your jersey. You trap the ball with ease and then kick it straight into his face with as much power as you can muster, knocking him out, the force sending him reeling.
While the timer continues ticking, no one dares to make a move or even exhale too loudly in your presence, scared you might take their bodily functions as a challenge to your authority. Like every opponent before, they’ve submitted to you.
You stare at the ceiling, your lips set in a tight line, the despair settling in. Just this once, you want to meet someone who can excite you, and you’d hoped this ridiculous place could help.
___
As the top scorer of your pathetic excuse for a team — though behind your back they call you ‘the top red card holder,’ but considering how far up your own ass your head is, you’re yet to pay attention to this remark — by the second qualifying match they already know to pass the ball to you no matter what. In your defense, you’re not any more tyrannical than the average douche in this competition. It’s not your fault they’re too worthless to do what you can.
Two of the opponents are blocking your path, and you shuffle the ball between your feet trying to get the positioning right while they attempt to steal it. Everyone is making noises, but they never mean anything to you. You back up once you’ve felt that the stars have aligned and strike the ball through the tight opening between their bodies, taking the first goal of the match.
“You’re good!”
You blink, the words bringing you out of your perpetual trance to look at the guy in front of you. He starts rambling some nonsense about explosions and how he’s going to beat the ass of anyone who can’t give a good show and you think at some point he has started finding new roundabout ways of saying that he basically wants to bust a nut on the field. It is absurd. You understand it down to your bones, except maybe the last thing. For the first time, everything is coming into view. You can make out his face and you can hear his words and you see your teammates in your peripheral vision. How you didn’t notice him before, what with the hairstyle and his cartoonishly beautiful eyelashes, you’re not sure, but you’ve never been more present during a game before.
“Alright, gyaru,” you say. “Show me how you explode.”
“Gyaru?” he tilts his head, grin wide like a demon’s. “You think I’m pretty?”
Though Jinpachi Ego officially writes down what ensues as a round-robin tourney in his notes, the spectators (meaning literally anyone else who was in your physical proximity) would describe it as ‘The Longest Dick Measuring Contest They’ve Ever Seen.’
The way he moves fascinates you like nothing else. Just like you, he is a creature of instinct. You both circle around while trying to score or steal the ball, only to find that stopping the other is impossible.
After this match, two monsters glance at each other and think, ‘Maybe there is someone out here who understands me.’
___
There are still jitters in your veins. You can’t sleep. Is it ridiculous and maybe parasocial that the thought of ‘I want to see this guy again’ is keeping you up at night? Yeah, probably. You also feel like a creep lying down in the dark with your eyes wide open, yearning to bulldoze through something like you do when you want to calm down.
Frustrated, you slip out of the futon and leave the room while the rest of them are sleeping. The hallways let out ominous flickers, trailing after you while your steps echo and bounce off the walls. This building looks like a prison, you think, though you hadn’t noticed before.
You hate to think that your desperation is so strong you’ve developed the power of manifestation overnight, but when you step inside of the training room, he’s already there. He doesn’t have the decency to seem surprised at your entrance when you close in on him. His arms are crossed and he has a smug aura about him, but for the love of everything you cannot comprehend why he’s standing there doing nothing. At least you planned on being productive when you headed here with your plan to obliterate whatever you could get your hands on. Just so happens it’s him that you found.
The weird silence stretches, but it doesn’t bother either of you because as it turns out you have the same kind of social incompetence. You realize you don’t even know the guy’s name, but he declares, “You really came.”
You don’t really know what he means by this considering you didn’t arrange to meet here beforehand, but he’s saying it as if this was some unanimous agreement you came to earlier. “Waiting for me in the middle of the night all by yourself, handsome?”
“Every cell in my body was calling out to yours,” he says as if it explains anything. His expression is bordering on maniacal. Anyone else might’ve realized this was a bad idea, read the warning signs, but to someone like you who has lived their entire life sleepwalking, the excitement of such a strange encounter is addictive. “We’re the same… That’s why you felt it.”
“In that case, please avoid summoning me so late,” you say. “I value good sleep.”
He cannot tell if you’re just taking the piss or if you’re on the same page, but it’s rare that anyone entertains him when he says anything of that nature. To him, this is an amusing turn of events. “They say you’re some kinda unhinged delinquent. ‘s that true?”
“Sure, if that’s what you call putting a few sorry bums down in their place after they crossed me.”
“So you know how to scrap too, right?”
Right now, Shidou Ryuusei is like a kid at the candy store. You can’t discern any reason for him to swing at you, but he does, smiling all the while. After you respond to his provocation with a duck and a kick of your own — you avoid using your hands for anything if you can avoid it, finding it beneath you — you decide to consider this your friendly introduction to each other.
If he wants to coax the crazy out of you with his punches, then you’re trying to get him to settle down every time you retaliate, daring him to pipe down and turn boring just like everyone else. You’re not sure for how long you duke it out, but at some point you grow sloppy, and the last you remember of it before succumbing to your exhaustion is the last round of boneless slaps you offered each other.
___
Two of your teammates hatefully watch you and Shidou from across the cafeteria. You’re a selfish and insensitive person, of course, they know that. Before this, you’d always eat alone, but ever since the match where they were forced to watch you two flex on them, you’d hang out with him. Still, “I can’t believe [L/n] would rather have a romantic dinner with the only goddamn bastard in this goddamn building who gets better meals than share with us! I’m sick of this natto.”
“You’re telling me,” the other boy says, sadly eating a radish.
This must be an advanced form of psychological torture administered by Ego himself. Even if you don’t notice the audience, Shidou seems to be reveling in the negative attention. They can only watch and drool while you two push at each other and try to steal ingredients. At some point, you put Shidou in a suplex, making him cough out something. Then he wrestles his way out of your maneuver and shoves your head into your plate, forces you up again, and licks the food off your face while you scowl at him.
“I’d hardly call that a romantic dinner, though.”
“A guy from blondie’s team said he caught them asleep on top of each other in the training facility once.”
“Do you think they’re-?!”
“Oh my god, they’re…!”
They scream and point at each other and then hug as if traumatized. To add insult to injury, your voice rings from afar, “Are your eyes really pink? There’s no way that’s natural,” while some of the sauce still sticks to your skin.
“What? You think I’m some kinda fake?” asks Shidou, apparently offended.
“I’m gonna expose you, trust.”
How are you blowing everyone in your cell out of the water in terms of performance? You have to be the dumbest person in this entire wing.
___
“I want you,” he says.
Granted, this is out of context, but you still find that the words have some effect on you. But this won’t do no matter how hard you want to give in. With the first stage of the second selection cleared, you can’t continue as you are. You’ve been complacent in your talent. To expand your abilities, you need to observe whatever other powerful players there are in here instead of still chasing after him. Even the wet wipes on your old team have started catching up.
Besides, you’d always thought your appeal to him is as an opponent, someone who he wants on the other side of the field to face off against, and now Shidou is demanding to work together with you.
“I was in a coma before I met you,” you say. He pinches his eyebrows together, which is probably the first time you’ve seen him pull such an expression. To think you have the ability to utter something so strange, it weirds out even Shidou. “You pulled me out of it, but now I need to see other things, too.”
“If you tell me you wanna go watch other guys, I might get jealous.” Despite the initial waver, he sticks his tongue out at you, trying to be playful like always.
“Don’t say things you don’t mean.”
Shidou grabs you by the collar of your jersey and pushes you against the wall. You blink at him, finding this an inappropriate time for a spar seeing as this is regular enough for him, but then he invades your personal space in a way which doesn’t feel particularly combative, your noses brushing against each other, and he blatantly glances at your lips before closing his eyes. You don’t think about it when you pull him in by the neck, your body reacting to his cues.
It’s not even that great, he’s not really being effective at what he’s doing, mashing your mouth against his almost pointlessly, teeth clashing and all before moving far too quickly onto the tonguing part of making out. Your nails are digging into his neck and his hold against your waist is tight enough to bother you. There’s a latent aggression in it like there is in any other interaction between you two.
And you don’t enjoy this for the surface-level sensations but rather for the strange tightness in your chest, the headrush, the closeness where somehow he’s enveloping you and you’re enveloping him at the same time and it feels like you’re about to fuse. You don’t want to let go yet, maybe under the assumption that if you keep kissing him, he’s going to be polite and return your breath to you.
Steps come near the entrance of the hallway and then, “Ah! Uhhh…”
You snap out of it and push Shidou off of you. He has the gall to look offended, glaring.
There’s some puny kid with a buzz cut, standing there with his confusion clear on his face. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt, uh… whatever it was you were doing!” he says in a panic, waving his hands back and forth.
Yeah, that’s a good point. What the fuck were you doing? You just jumped at each other on instinct, ruled by some bizarre, mysterious need.
It must be because the air is so charged between you. Shidou is always in overdrive and he has a penchant for pulling you into his madness. You’re always doing something when you’re together — trading blows, trying to show the other up in soccer, saying heavy-handed things for no reason — and now a moment of stagnancy happened and you both turned into even bigger morons than usual.
He didn’t think about it either, you’re sure. Besides, even if you’re a crazy bastard on the field, you’re not like him. Shidou will meet even stronger players once he advances and he’ll move onto his next obsession. This doesn’t mean anything, at least not to him, you’re convinced.
You untangle yourself from him and ram your shoulder into his as goodbye before lamely saying, “I’m going now,” and offering a nonchalant wave.
He frowns before kicking imaginary dust off the floor. “Sure, fine. Be this way!”
Igaguri isn’t super puritanical or anything. Yeah, he grew up in a temple and all, but seeing two people kiss doesn’t offend his sensibilities. What freaked him out was how you managed to make it look like a fight while you were going at it, and like, he knows the hallway was deserted before he came out of thin air, but this is still a public place. Whatever happened to shame?
And now he has to be in the same vicinity as this scary guy who’s glaring daggers at the spot you were standing in, vein bursting out of his forehead and all, as if you ruined his life by walking out of here. He looks like a manchild who’s sulking because his mom forgot to make him chicken nuggies. A bead of nervous sweat rolls down his forehead.
___
Ever since the beginning, Isagi has been honing his technique, always hungry to add another skill to his repertoire. Rin and Shidou have no synergy; fine, he thinks, it’s not like he really even wants to set up a goal using them. It’s not enough to satisfy him anymore, not after the last match. He’d much rather score himself.
But the problem with the spatial awareness he has developed is that he can’t turn it off at will, or say ‘la-la-la’ and ignore something to focus on what’s important.
Well, being on the same stage as you and Shidou has to be the worst thing of all time. He wants to smell a goal for himself, but the most likely chemical reaction he can predict is one between you two, and you’re not even on the same team. It’s like a ticking time bomb, like those explosions Shidou has been vaguely rambling about, and it permeates the air.
You’ve started adapting his bodily control and precision, almost coming close to scoring with your back on the net. And Shidou has managed to pull off one of ridiculously tight angled shots to break through a two-on-one, passing the ball to Rin. If the phenomenon Isagi observed and achieved before is ‘consumption,’ then he has a first row seat to watch you two cannibalize each other.
The most unfortunate thing is the chase. The ball will come to you, but Shidou will steal it. He’ll be in the air ready to strike, but you’ll sabotage him from below. Isagi recognizes this as an unconscious prediction — on a molecular level, you know where the other one will be, and you’ll race there. It’s like he’s watching both of you swing neon signs and desperately scream ‘Please look at me!’ and overall beg for attention while also stubbornly refusing to make eye contact in fear of rejection.
It is revolting. He wants to gag.
Sure, Ego talked about how luck is a skill and how a pro takes advantage of it, but he never mentioned what to do when someone on his team is living through a low-rated soap opera episode with an opponent. With all of the emotional constipation among the participants of this godforsaken project, he’s sure this won’t be the last time he’ll need it.
___
Sitting down in the middle of practice isn’t productive, but you’re ‘taking a break,’ by which you mean you want to snap someone’s neck. It’s been boring again, ever since Shidou started disregarding your presence. You’re even on the same team now and it’s like you’re no better than air to him.
Of course, you’d predicted he’d find someone new to excite him. You just hadn’t anticipated it’d hurt your feelings. Why do you care, anyway? You should be used to this. The soccer you’ve played has always been selfish and lonely, and moping and jealousy are below you.
But during the match against U-20, you saw him look at Itoshi Sae the same way he first looked at you on the day you met, spouting nonsense with his unique expert-level yappery. And you don’t like that. You don’t like it at all.
He’s off doing his own thing again when you search for him with your eyes. You stand up.
And then you don’t think at all, breaking out into a sprint at full speed.
You’re behind him in the matter of a minute or so, slipping your foot between his and kicking the ball overhead so it lands behind him. He bristles, perhaps at your unwanted company, but you’ve already turned on your heel to run in the other direction.
You’re dribbling the ball when you glance over your shoulder. He’s onto you, trademark grin on his face. You’re not even sure what you’re trying to accomplish here, but all that comes to mind is, It doesn’t matter if it’s going way too fast or way too hard anymore. Just chase after me one more time.
You’re almost all the way over to the other goal, maintaining your lead, when Shidou kicks the ball after lunging around your side. It slips off half-assedly, but you don’t have much time to mock him for his technique because he grabs you by the wrists and pins you down, straddling you to the ground.
“That’s a foul,” you say, displeased.
“I don’t care.” His smile is so big you feel like he’s going to need to visit an orthodontist after you’re done here. The annoying strands of hair he keeps loose are hovering near your face, taunting you.
Your eyes dart again with your head in the fake grass and you see it straying off. “And the ball didn’t make it. To be honest, you were sloppy.”
“I don’t care.”
“You… don’t?”
There’s that sick fluttering feeling in your stomach again and your heart kicks against your chest painfully. Your cheeks are growing warm and you feel uncomfortable by the heat with Shidou so close to you. What the hell is wrong with you? Seriously, he didn’t even tell you a line or anything. He just said ‘I don’t care’ twice. That’s not game! You need to get a grip.
“Yeah, why should I? I’ve got you right where I want you now.”
You raise an unimpressed eyebrow. If making you look like an idiot is his revenge to you for making him mad, then fine, you’re going to pretend you can’t make your way out of his grip with ease.
“You can’t give me a big dopamine hit like that and pull away,” he says, leaning closer. By this point you really can’t see much apart from his big ass head right in your face. Does he even know what he’s implying to you while looking at you straight-on? Does he realize you know his weird euphemisms are all figures of speech for whatever makes him horny?
“What do you mean?”
“Tellin’ me all that romantic stuff and running away…” Shidou narrows his eyes as if the memory is enough to annoy him.
You blink. Oh. You thought he was throwing a temper tantrum because you refused to team up with him. But once again, you’re unimpressed. “So did that turn you on or what? I don’t get it.”
“Well, I’d put it in other words, like, let’s say, hypothetically, maybe you made me explode because you’re an oxidizer and I’m an organic-”
“Ok, I know, but I’m trying to figure out what’s going on here-”
He retreats and rolls away from you, allowing you to sit up again, so you cease talking without reaching the point you were trying to make. It flies out of your head anyway when he links his hand with yours, staring at you, seemingly subdued now. You’re not sure why you’re both acting like shy middle schoolers now while indulging in something so chaste considering you’ve done way more indecent things together, but you intertwine your fingers and offer him a smile. The sight catches him off-guard.
Before he can bask in another achievement (this time being the first person to make you express any kind of joy when everyone knows you’re one distant asshole), a ball hits him straight on the forehead.
Without any preamble, Rin deems it fit to announce his presence by saying, “Your lukewarm displays are appalling. You should both just die.”
You stare at him and then at each other and burst out in laughter, pointing at him. Though you finish your laughing fits at about the same time, you spur on another one by asking, “Do you think he even knows what lukewarm means?”
“No, I seriously doubt it!”
Rin thinks to ask you how come you think it’s chill when your shitty boyfriend or whatever he is says the grossest things imaginable, but suddenly it’s a problem when he wants to say his favorite word, though he doesn’t want to seem too offended or otherwise invested.
___
Im sorry if this is in any way contradictory or shitty or sucks balls I havent slept in 4 days except for a one-off 3 hour nap and wrote this while possessed. Maybe ill sleep again at some point and this will be the worst thing ive ever seen and ill have to delete it. God forbid.
90 notes · View notes
crushondonald · 5 years
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Remembering Donald O'Connor ❤
“A performer has to answer to himself. If you think something’s funny, you’ve got to go out there and try. It’s only by trial and error that you find out.”
Tumblr media
 August 28, 1925 - September 27, 2003
“I’m tired of being a machine … I am no angel, I’m the same as everyone else, with the same temperament and temper. I resent having people tag me as perpetual, super-polite juvenile. I’m subject to fever, headaches and bad-temper just like anybody else.” February 1954
“Alcoholism was a desease, a genetic thing. I used to have a marvelous time drinking. Until I passed that invisible line and became an alcoholic. I figured that I could master the rehab programme, be out there in a week, go back to drinking. But once I was there, something marvelous happened. My obsession to drink left me. Now I have been a recovering alcoholic for fifteen and a half years.” June 1994
After he suffered a very serious physical collapse caused by excessive alcohol abuse in 1978, Donald was finally hospitalized for approx. three months. Ever since he was cured from alcoholism in 1979, Donald recovered visibly, regained the trust of his family, went back to work successfully and never touched a drop of alcohol again for the rest of his life. On top of that, he claimed that he had never been happier in life ever before.
“He’s the man you’d wish to be with you for the rest of your life.” Gloria Noble O'Connor ~ Donald’s second wife
Tumblr media
“I’m the guy who danced through life. It seems that no matter what I do, if I did MacBeth, they’d want me to do eight bars of ‘Tea for Two’ just because it pleases. It’s the kind of dancing I do – jumping around and having a good time. It’s happy, gay, and pleasant. Dancing is so wonderful. Once they start the music, your whole day, if it’s been rotten, seems to melt away. You get carried away in the tune that you’re moving to. It’s a marvelous catharsis … to be able to get on top and tap dance.”
Tumblr media
“Donald was a spontaneous artist and comedian, and he could never do anything the same twice. There was no way you could say, ‘Do it this way, and it will be funnier.’ It was all improvisation.The dummy he uses in the dance, for example, was lying on a rehearsal stage next door to us [on the set of SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN]. We walked in one day and Donald started to fool around with it. For half an hour, we just roared with laughter. Finally, we said, ‘Well, let’s put that in the number.’ All of it came right out of Donald. It was unbelievable. We had to throw out 20 minutes of it.“ Gene Kelly
Tumblr media
“I was born in a trunk, and I’ll die performing.”
… you nearly made it, Don! I love and miss him with all my heart … it is a blessing that Donald shared his unique talent with the world for more than 70 (!) years! He loved to entertain his audiences, was a passionate performer and made generations laugh (of course, he still does!), even though he had to struggle with many personal, painful strokes of fate. Donald O'Connor was the youngest and the fourth surviving child of seven, born to John Edward “Chuck” O'Connor, who was from County Cork in Ireland, and Effie Irene O'Connor (née Crane), both vaudevillians. The O'Connor Family was billed as “The Royal Family of Vaudeville” at the time. When Donald was 10 months old, his father died from heart attack while performing on stage, only a few weeks after his seven year-old sister Arlene was killed in a car accident. As she was crossing the street with Donald in a stroller, the car hit her. Miraculously, Donald remained nearly unhurt. Effie O'Connor had become extremely overprotective of her remaining children, seeming never to completely recover from the shock of losing her daughter and husband within weeks of each other. Donald joined the family act when he was just a toddler. He enjoyed being on stage, which also served as escape from his domineering mother. Sadly, she had a good reason to worry. Until 1958, Donald finally had survived all his siblings. Don was only 19 years old, when he married his first wife Gwen Carter in 1944, the year he entered service in WWII. While he was overseas, he got acquainted with the devil who became finally an obsession ... alcohol. After returning home, life went back to normal very slowly. Universal Pictures, where he was under contract since 1942, did not really know what to do with him. His first apperance on screen after the war followed in 1947. In the meantime, his daughter Donna was born in 1946. Unfortunately, the marriage of Don and Gwen didn’t went very well and finally ended up with divorce in 1954. All these incidents and the fact, that Don was always a workoholic resulted in alcoholism, he suffered from for almost 25 years ... creepingly getting worse and worse over the decades, reducing his ability to work increasingly and reaching its sad low point, visible to the outside, in the 1970s. As he was also a heavy smoker, he additionally developed a heart deasease. Burning the candle at both ends resulted in a heart attack in 1971, a serious physical collapse in 1978 and a quadruple bypass surgery in the early 1990s. That was quite a price to pay, but he always managed to pick himself up and keep going. After all, Donald O'Connor stayed down-to-earth and was beyond that one of the most versatile, charming, modest and sweetest gentlemen in Hollywood. ☆ Thankfully, Don found happiness with his lovely second wife Gloria Noble. She was the love of his life and the best that could have happened to him. Because of his addiction, they went through hard times, but she never let him down. Their marriage lasted over 46 years until his death in 2003, three children were born to them.
Tumblr media
Dream team - Donald & Gloria at “Ciro’s” in 1956. They got married in October of the same year. ☆ Since I was a child, I’ve adored him as an excellent (tap) dancer, singer, comedian and actor. By the way, he was a great composer, too! Until 1955, at the age of 30, Donald had appeared in 45 (!) motion pictures [“Singin’ In The Rain" is #38!]. The press called him “the youngest old-timer in show business” at that time. That’s quite a statement of what had been accomplished by such a young man. In addition, his vaudeville background, successful TV shows during the 1950s and 1960s as well as a vast number of stage performances his entire life speak for themselves. It always seems to me that there was nothing Donald couldn’t do. In his later years, when the popularity of musicals slowly had faded away, Donald should have been managed better. After “Singin’ In The Rain” he never got a role again matching his extraordinary talent in this way, even if he made some wonderful movies in the 1950s, such as “Call Me Madam”. It wasn’t considered enough that he was a also a fine ‘serious’ actor, proved by his performances in the ‘Francis the Talking Mule” series or in ”The Buster Keaton Story” (although the script is awful and terribly incorrect!) and even in his early roles as a child. It makes me sad that Hollywood didn’t really know how to take advantage of his versatility. Unfortunately, he does not receive the credit he really deserves … he was so much more than 'Cosmo Brown'! ☆ Over the years, I’ve also developed profound respect and admiration for this wonderful man away from the spotlight. I’m fascinated by his real life achievement, kindness, honest modesty and willpower. Hopefully, someone will pay tribute to this endearing human being and unique  artist, perpetuate his memory by writing down his life story. Maybe one (or more) of his four lovely children, Donna, Alicia, Donald Frederick or Kevin … … I could die happy then!
“I’m no longer a superstar. Now I’m working on being a quasar, because stars wear out. Quasars go on forever … I look for the parts where I die and they talk about me for the rest of the movie.” 1992
Happy Birthday Donald 💋 … You’ve always been my mentor and the light of my life, darling!
Tumblr media
Keeping his legacy alive … le grá go deo ♡♡♡
Tumblr media
(Photos on top show Donald O'Connor over the decades, in order 1930s - 2000s from left to right.)
123 notes · View notes