#and actually ill maintag this. fuck you
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ok so. kaine has obviously existed longer than bg3 and gale have, so with that in mind i have two questions
first of all, who was kaine before bg3 and gale? did kaine have a different partner? did kaine as a character change at all when you put him in bg3? is bg3 canon now?
and secondly, what made kaine x gale make sense? what made it happen? what made it grow to this immense size?
one of these days i could probably sit down and share all of kaine's history + lore but that would require my brain to work in some organized way so likely it won't happen</3 but this i can do
[deep inhale]
the first thing to know about kaine is that they were born entirely of whatever the fuck happened to my brain the first time i watched the music video for move by taemin. they were an idea way before this, but literally within 24 hours of this album drop they became a fully realized creation.
in their very earliest iteration, kaine was the only child to a minor noble family in an unnamed nation somewhere in faerun, and they were born very sick and as such grew up intensely sheltered. prior to their first campaign (hoard of the dragon queen lmao) they ran away from home in an attempt to prove to themself that they were strong enough to... well, to live.
eventually, they became the central part of an original setting, which i then created a homebrew dnd campaign centered around. the first time i ran a game in their setting circa 2018 they did have a bit of a fling with another npc, but it was more or less a tactic to tie their two parts of the story together. that game fell apart and when i began it again, rewritten (more than a year and a half ago!) that npc was no longer a part of it. they're still the main driving force behind the campaign - it was their prophecy that brought the party together, and they're using the party as their ticket to the outside world.
kaine didn't necessarily change much when they were stuck in bg3. i changed their lore a little bit, of course - the crux of my homebrew setting (osoa) is that it's a small place inside what is essentially a demiplane snowglobe, and what the people there perceive as the "spiritual plane" is the layer of the cosmos that separates them from faerun. in that version of events, kaine learns the truth through an arcane connection across the planes with another character (we don't have to get into his crazy ass rn) and kaine's efforts (along with the efforts of a cult of fanatics) end up shattering the glass and reconnecting their demiplane with faerun.
for bg3, all i did was push that story up, and made kaine more passive in it - osoa was reconnected with faerun when they were young, partially as a result of the ritual that imprisoned their magic, and by the time they grew up, it was old news.
so no, bg3 isn't their "canon" - although it's not any less canon than their original story, i think. there's the kaine that exists in their og story, the kaine that exists in my dnd campaign, and the kaine that exists in bg3 - all loosely related but equal in the end. i use them for basically anything i get the excuse to, anyway.
now. kainegale. [grabs you]
i hadn't actually intended to romance gale when i started playing bg3! i didn't play early access and my first campaign was a different character altogether, who i abandoned about 12 hours in because i fucked up a bunch of shit and also because gale had grabbed me by the dick.
i made kaine for gale early on because i saw him as a good foil for them. kaine is a sorcerer, but they spent their whole life studying magic theory. they weren't allowed to use their magic to their full potential because of its volatility and the nature of its imprisonment, so they were made to study everything they could in an attempt to ensure their safety. this, of course, built up resentment for magical theory and school and lessons and whatnot. gale, of course, is a wizard, and loves to read, but more importantly he loves to teach.
it is vital to understand this in the context of their relationship - gale changes everything kaine thinks they know about what magic is. not only is he a practitioner of a different type of magic altogether, but when he speaks, kaine wants to listen. they can hear the value in it. he makes it matter to them. and if there's more than a little bit of a professor/student complex in there, well. that's just the effect a little bit of positive reinforcement has on a motherfucker innit
and the more i got to know gale, the more i really felt that he and kaine were made for each other dkjsdfkjksd that sounds so corny but it's true.... there's just so much about them that i didn't do intentionally that makes me absolutely insane.
the symbolism. his name is gale for fuck's sake - the storm imagery is built in to his character. kaine is a blue draconic sorcerer - they're lightning, they're thunder, they're a raging windstorm.
as if this wasn't enough, they really are two sides of the same coin. they've both been dehumanized without realizing it, in totally opposite ways. gale by his relationship with mystra - she built him into something she could use, she made him think he was nothing without her, and then ripped everything away from him when he acted of his own will, effectively proving it. when we meet him, he thinks he's nothing. even in act three, at the carnival - "gale thinks that he, and the world, would be better off if he were dead."
compare this to kaine. they've grown up being told over and over that they are the strongest mage their bloodline has produced in generations, that they are the scion of house silva that is going to lead valais into a new era of prosperity, that they deserve all this and more - but they're not allowed to feel it. they're not allowed to leave the palace, they haven't been named or coronated to their people, their existence has been all but kept secret outside of their country, and they're not allowed to use their power. they've been magically shackled for as long as they can remember. their power is nothing but a tool, and it's not a tool that's at their disposal.
kaine teaches gale how to choose himself. gale teaches kaine how to be themself.
and their personalities, too. idk. i have these Thoughts and Theories about gale's time as mystra's chosen, and how he essentially has to adjust to being mortal again, and how kaine is all new to the world and experiencing everything for the first time, and just. im fucking holding them so tightly in my hands
of course all of this just exacerbates the most harmful parts of themselves, and everything gets worse before it gets better, but they are so. they just get each other. idk. it was like i didn't even try - they just became this thing that i am merely a conduit for. my muse, as it were
thank you so much for asking<33 there's so much more i could say about all of this i'm sure. i'm just so crazy about them both
#ask#this is so long..........dskjfddfk#kaine silva#my brain is a tangled mess. i love them. im going insane.#oh#otp: souls of steel#and actually ill maintag this. fuck you#bg3#baldur's gate 3#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios
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uhmmmm assorted max headcanons from my smart brain
he has a dream journal. draws stuff from his dreams too. they rotate between Expected Max Nonsense, horrific nightmares that he talks abt like he thinks theyre really funny but he does not, and things so mundane that in context they loop back around to being funny. “Dreamt that I got up, went to the kitchen, made a completely normal sandwich, and ate it sitting at a table at regular speed. I think I might be getting sick”
the superego is Like That bc max had an interest in psychology for a while. like 14 y/o max reading as many psychology books as he could get nonstop & telling sam not to tell anyone about it for his #image. he’s not so interested in it anymore but it’s all just kind of In There Forever
it’s not a joke he really does have depression + psychosis (Arguably already canon if u like to read into things)
he’s mexican :) You could say he uh . You could. He’s. Well you see. He. I. So you could. Cough. You could say that. If you wanted to, you could say. He was. He is. Um. Ahem. You could say he’s Maxican
on a related note bilingual (english + spanish)
his ass is smart but did not remotely do well in school on account of the adhd and the autism and the mental illness and also genuinely just not giving a fuck. like why would he care
max did not go to college in the sense of officially attending but he DID follow sam to his college and spent a lot of time just wandering around campus making up fake identities and re-enacting phantom of the opera from the vents and shit
he’s not an Oldest sibling but he’s one of the older of his siblings. of which he has many
wears contacts + he gradually loses his vision as he gets older
ok that’s all goodbyeeeeeeee
#basilposting#igotota make a snm posts tag#gotta save stuff#i guess ill go the easy around#snmposting#ehwhhw wheedkendjenemj im s o fucking tired :)#ok ummmm actually i am maintagging this. its not long if you dont care just scroll faster#sam and max
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Stupid thing that took me more than two days (context here)
First time drawing half of these fuckers and its fockin incomprehensible 😭😭😭
#ill actually draw their designs serioudly later on cause unlike with hals i actually KNOW what theyre gonna look like LMAOOOO#not maintagging this FUCK you#glados#tau#am#allied mastercomputer#edgar#my bff gegar!!!!!!!#gerty 3000#MY BFF GERTY!!!!#hal 9000#in order too#🌻huevo art
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<- brain chemistry permanently altered by the theme of being able to love someone and be unable to see them for who they are + be unable to coexist with them
#the saverem twins actually make me ill. god. fucked up family dynamics.#imagine being fucking unable to split yourself from your identity as the others half. always being a matched set. and yet#you are fundamentally incompatible. you have internalized your hurt and then externalized it#in vastly incompatible ways. one of you will absorb everybody's pain and the other will become nigh obsessed with inflicting the#pain suffered. and thus you will hurt each other. you cannot stop. not until one of you stops. and you cannot stop until the other stops.#im gonna lose my mind over the twins.#kit.txt#<- not brave enough to maintag#trigun#trigun stampede#tristamp#analysis tag
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Regarding the von Karma theory: for what it's worth, I didn't agree with everything but thought it was good. Him suffering from an illness would've explain a lot of the behavior we see in-game. I don't understand why they keep calling you an apologist, though? Like, you never downplayed his actions once so that makes no sense??
i'm just obsessed with knowing why so many people are fixated on this one thing i said in passing? like in my video i spend a good long while talking about restorative justice, root causes of violence and crime, and why i personally like to dissect characters and see if i can puzzle out why they do horrible things. i wrote extensively on things i think could have contributed, how i think he got to that point, and why i think he did what he did. and then when i am like 'lol and imagine lead poisoning' it is presented, in no uncertain terms, as something a little more lighthearted and silly, because literally all it is is a headcanon that i thought about errantly one day and thought 'haha, that'd be funny and thematically beautiful, i like that' i'm not invested in it nor do i even really view it as ~the explanation~ it's literally just a headcanon i like? it exists on the same level as like, if i were to hc his favourite food or that he likes to play golf in his spare time. it is just a headcanon. that i can take or leave. i do not feel strongly about it, nor does it often come up when i am discussing manfred von karma, why i like him, why i think he did all the shit he did, etc.
and yet everyone on twitter is OBSESSED with it? and now people are MAINTAGGING it, vagueblogging me where i can see it?
like, of course i know what's actually going on here: i presented a take that was eloquently phrased and well-sourced, and it's pissing off people who prefer to discourse in 240 characters with snappy retorts, so they are focusing on a headcanon that takes up .1% of my video because it's easy to take out of context and laugh at. but i want them to try and tell me why that isn't the case. i wanna hear them try and explain this dumb shit.
even calling it a "theory" like you did in this ask is a little much for me. i don't care that much about it! it's not important and i don't think it's canon, it's literally just a headcanon i have. that's all. i wish people would stop giving it more weight than it has and obsessing over it, who the fuck cares, i just want to make posts about my silly murder blorbo in peace.
anyways, idk why people are calling me an apologist/defender either! i keep asking them to point out where i did that but no one ever answers me, it's soooo curious that!
i think people are just very uncomfortable with the idea of villains being human beings. they want them to be some unnatural other who were born innately evil, have some "abuser" disease (see: the way people use terms like narcissist and s*cio/psychopath) etc. the fact of the matter is that people who do bad things are just humans who have been pushed via a multitude of internal and external factors to their lowest and are in need of support and rehabilitation and to take AWAY those factors and/or help them heal from them.
but, as i said in my video, new-age puritans on tumblr and twitter are obsessed with "punishing" and othering. they will not acknowledge that they, too, could become violent and monstrous if given the circumstances, and they believe anyone who is so unlucky deserves to be hurt more because of it.
it's so fucking irritating to have to rehash it. i like it when manfred von karma is being a nice awkward vampire dad and giving his daughter pancakes. i also like it when he is looking like a possessed turkey vulture fucking pointing a pistol at all his problems and tasing a child for funsies. i think these things coexist, and here is how i think they coexist. WHY ARE PEOPLE SO MAD AND WHY ARE THEY SO INSISTENT ON PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH? THE VIDEO IS AN HOUR LONG I DON'T THINK I COULD'VE BEEN MORE CLEAR AND NUANCED???
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that one outfit meme but twist it into my own EVIL agenda
#dick grayson#nightwing#booster gold#michael jon carter#dc comics#theyre suh posed to be sitting down but im not drawing a bg#nobody asked for booster. that was all me.#yeah ill maintag it. what u gonna do? go cry about it#temporary art tag#digibroney#you get alts for once cuz im out of my absolute mind#i started disintegrating after i drew nightwing can u tell#me giving booster perfectly matching pants and then still using those guy fieri ass shades is so fucking funny i think#like someone else chose his outfit for him and then he put those on himself#this post actually has 2 agendas#1. gay people 2. mint choc chip ice cream#anyway#goldwing
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Yada yada yada I'm on mobile and can't do a read more and I'm not going to butcher this fic by censoring all the names so vanillas please don't be weird or abusive to me on this post. It's not maintagged, so the only reason you're seeing it is because of Tumblr fucking idiotic decision to show posts that haven't been tagged
Anyway. Here's that request for sick!Yasha~ Let's hope the formatting doesn't get all fucked up
For Yasha, waking up in pain was not a novelty or even an unwelcome surprise. Pain was merely the byproduct of work and would fade, as all things did, in time.
Today, however, was unusual. Yesterday had been easy. Like the others, she spent part of the day walking and part of the day riding in the cart. They hadn't fought. They'd even made camp early and she'd spent some time sitting in the grass talking with Caleb.
Why then, did her joints ache like she had spent the day hauling cargo for the circus? Why was her head pounding in time with the drumbeat of her pulse?
"Up and at 'em, Yasha!" Beau gave her arm a light kick.
Yasha sat up slowly. "Morning."
"'Deuces is already done with breakfast. You'd better hurry before Nott eats it all."
"I wouldn't let her," Caduceus said from over by the fire.
Nott glared at him, her eyes shiny. "Like you could stop me."
Yasha laughed lightly and got to her feet. "I didn't mean to sleep in so late." She shuffled over to the fire and sat down beside Fjord. Beau followed her and squeezed in beside Jester.
"You didn't even move when Fjord tried to wake you up," Jester said. "You just kind of--" She threw her head back and opened her mouth, a caricature of Yasha asleep on her back with her mouth open.
"Oh." Yasha looked at what everyone was eating, some sort of oatmeal with berries, and decided she didn't want any. "Was I snoring?"
"Only a little bit," Beau said. "It was kinda cute actually."
"Like purring," Caleb agreed. He snapped a Frumpkin appeared in Yasha's lap.
Yasha buried her fingers in the soft fur, still feeling strangely hungover and overworked. "Caduceus?"
"Hm?"
"Do you have any," she hesitated, still not quite used to just asking for things from this strange new family, "mint tea?"
"Yeah, I'm sure I have something like that." Caduceus sat back and began to pull things from his bag. "Anyone else?"
The group murmured their mixed assents and declinations. Caduceus prepared some water to boil.
"We should probably get a move on sooner rather than later," Fjord spoke up.
"We will," Caduceus said, unconcerned. "This won't take long."
Fjord looked like he wanted to argue, but fell silent.
"Sorry," Yasha said, suddenly hyper aware of how the group might perceive her. "I didn't mean-- I don't want to hold us up."
"It's fine, Fjord is just antsy," Jester reassured her. "You know he can't sit still."
"I have the cure for that," Beau stood up and grabbed Fjord by the collar. "C'mon. Let's go do some push-ups since you're so energetic."
"Save me," Fjord whispered as he was dragged away, and then he was gone.
Yasha chuckled. Sitting like this was nice. Her joints didn't feel quite so sore and her head only hurt when moved too quickly.
When Caduceus handed her a steaming mug of mint tea, she drank it down quickly so as not to hold anyone up more than she already had.
At first it was pleasant, warming her body against the chill of the morning air.
But the heat didn't fade. By the time they packed the wagon and started down the path, she was sweating. Each step felt like it took twice the effort that it normally would.
She went silent as she walked, trying to figure out what could be wrong. Had she been poisoned? She knew Fjord and Nott were mistrustful of her now, but they wouldn't-- Would they?
No. Yasha shook her head to clear it. They wouldn't. Maybe… It was a slim possibility, but it was the only one that made logical sense. Maybe she was sick.
Yasha was rarely ill, especially not like this. The last time she'd been sick, she had caught a head cold off Molly, and continued to work while he draped himself all over her and complained that he was dying.
She smiled at the memory and let it fade before the pain of his loss could come sneaking in. So she was sick. She could handle it.
Jester stood at the front of the wagon and watched the ground move as she prepared to do something phenomenally stupid. Swallowing her fear, she jumped over the side of the wagon. She managed to land on her feet, but the momentum caused her to stumble and fall.
"Aw, man," she complained loudly, mostly so the others would know she wasn't badly hurt.
"Please don't do that again!" Fjord said from his spot at the front of the wagon. "At least, not without warning me first."
"Sorry!" Jester looked at the dust on her palms. Satisfied that she wasn't bleeding, she wiped them off on her dress.
"Here." Yasha's imposing silhouette blocked out the sun. She extended a hand to Jester and helped her to her feet.
"Thanks, Yasha!" Jester fell into step beside her. "I don't know what I thought was going to happen, but I was hoping it would be cooler than that."
Yasha laughed, but her gaze seemed far away. "Maybe Beau can teach you some tricks."
"Sounds fun!" Beau shouted from the far side of the wagon.
Jester shouted back and soon she and Beau were having a loud conversation about the proper form and practical applications of a forward roll.
She got so wrapped up in it that she didn't even notice when Yasha disappeared from her periphery. It was only when Caleb politely asked them to stop shouting (followed by a less polite request from Nott) that Jester looked around and realized that Yasha had fallen behind.
She was trailing several feet behind the wagon, her feet dragging in the dust and her head lowered.
Jester jogged back to her. "Hey, Yasha! Are you okay?"
Yasha's eyes were hazy, unfocused. She looked at Jester helplessly. "I'll be okay."
"What's wrong?" The wagon was pulling farther away from them but Jester paid it no mind. "Your face is all red. Are you sick?" She stood on her tiptoes and cupped a hand to Yasha's forehead. "Yasha!" she gasped, half-scandalized. "Did you know you have a fever?"
"I do?" Yasha slumped forward suddenly, like the realization had taken her strength away. "I don't get sick."
"Everybody gets sick," Jester said. She smoothed a few errant locks of hair out of Yasha's face. "Oh, poor Yasha."
"I really don't," Yasha said, her brow knit in confusion. "Not like this."
"You've really never had a fever before?"
Yasha shook her head.
"That's okay, I'll look after you!" Jester said. Then her head snapped up. "Oh. Shit." She screwed up her face in concentration. "Hey, Fjord! Stop the wagon for a second! Me and Yasha got behind. We're fine though, don't worry. We'll be right there. How many words was that?"
"I wasn't counting."
"Yeah, me either." Jester shrugged. "Well, they stopped. Can you walk? 'Cause I bet I can totally carry you."
"I can walk."
The others were waiting for them expectantly, varying degrees of concern on their faces.
"We're fine!" Jester said, making shooing gestures. "We're just going to ride in the back for a bit. Okay?" This last word was directed at Caleb and Nott, who had been riding nestled amongst their supplies.
"Ja, that's fine." Caleb shrugged and invited Nott to scurry up onto his shoulders.
"Okay, come on, Yasha." Jester helped her climb into the back. The she popped her head out from behind the cover. "Okay, stop staring already! We're fine. Let's go."
"O-kay?" Fjord started to walk back around to the front. "Beau, want to ride with me for a bit?"
"Sure." Beau kept casting curious looks at Jester, but she went with Fjord. The wagon started to move again and Jester turned back to face Yasha.
"Okay, I'll get you all taken care of, I promise."
"Thanks," Yasha said, looking a touch awkward. "I'm not really sure what to do."
"Well for starters," Jester dug through their supplies and pulled out her bedroll, then Yasha's. "I'm going to make you the comfiest little nest ever." She arranged the blankets and pillows to her liking and motioned for Yasha to lie down. "Umm, let's see. Are you hot? Your face is really red."
"Yes," Yasha said immediately. Her skin felt overheated and irritated. Even the texture of the blankets was almost painful on her bare arms.
"Okay, hang on." Jester started to go through her pockets, eventually producing a small scrap of cloth.
Yasha watched as Jester carefully poured some water over it. "What's that for?"
"It's going to go on your forehead," Jester explained. "Like this." She leaned over and carefully draped the wet cloth over Yasha's brow. "Lie back or it will fall off."
"Oh," Yasha said as immediate, blissful relief washed over her.
"I wish I had another one for the back of your neck," Jester said thoughtfully. "Maybe Caleb has a handkerchief in one of his 600 pockets."
"Jester," Yasha took her hand. "This is. Wonderful. Thank you." No one, not even Molly, not even Zuala, had taken care of her like this. It was almost overwhelming. "Really, thank you."
"It's nothing," Jester said, not looking Yasha in the eye. A deep purple brush was beginning to creep up her neck. "Um, anyway, do you want to sleep now?"
"I don't know." Yasha stretched as much as she could in the confines of the cart. "I'm tired, but not that kind of tired."
"How about I tell you a story? I can tell you all about Princess Fancybottom, the most beautiful, well-endowed princess in the whole world."
Yasha smiled. "That would be nice, Jester. You can-- You can lie down next to me if you want."
"Okay." Jester nodded, satisfied. "Close your eyes so you can really picture the story, okay?"
"That's a good idea, actually. I'm probably way colder than you are." Jester scooted in next to Yasha, settling in so their arms touched. "Ooh, you are warm. Let me know if you start to feel worse, okay?"
"I will."
Yasha closed her eyes. Jester began her tale of Princess Fancybottom as the cart rolled along the simple dirt path.
Yasha knew that the world was full of dangers and discomforts that she would eventually have to face, but in this moment, all she felt was safe.
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