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lucienne-thee-librarian · 21 days

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Just to minimize my chances of being genuinely misunderstood OR deliberately misinterpreted, and crucified for something I don't think, How Dare You Say We Piss on the Poor website etc...I'm gonna say this right up top. I absolutely understand why people don't like Thessaly as a character, if anyone does completely unironically stan her as some kind of feminist hero who Did Nothing Wrong uwu, I personally see it as a bit of a red flag. I don't like terfs real or fictional. In a vacuum, I could even completely sympathize and agree with the people who want her cut.

HOWEVER.

It's really something to me to see people clamoring for her to be cut, because she carries and expressed an ugly indefensible prejudice (transphobia) in words towards (1) person. Meanwhile Hob fucking Gadling enacted one of the most violent forms of antiblack racism I can even think of against thousands no, millions of people, the ripple effects of which still affect billions more today. Just a little light idk, profiting off the fucking slave trade and had to be told by someone else that it was bad...and he's a fan favorite.

People are saying Thessally being Dream's love interest reflects badly on him or is somehow endorsement by the narrative (?!?!?!?!?!? Didn't she (SPOILER ALERT AS IF IT MATTERS BY NOW) help participate in his extended assisted suicide? She's not painted as a great person to me just another character what are y'all SMOKING whatever fine. It's fine this is fine.) But shipping Dream with Mr. Former Slaver is not only not verboten or frowned on widely in the fandom but its THEE most popular pairing by far. So...why the difference?

Like where are the same fans who are saying Thessaly shouldn't just be more clearly shown to be wrong, she shouldn't even be in the show at all when it comes to Hobert's crimes??? Yes, transphobia is indefensible. Isn't racism?

And I hear the cries of "it's fiction!!!" Already rallying (if anyone who needs to hear this even sees it lol) to which I say:

HORSESHIT. I KNOW you don't, deep down, really agree because if you did, why get upset about Thessaly being included??? Why does what she said to one person matter if it's Just Fiction You Guyze. Fictional characters are allowed to do bad things and fiction isn't reality sweaty....except when you only apply that standard to fictional racists you like and simp for, but fictional transphobes you don't are SO HARMFUL they shouldn't even be portrayed in fiction.

Like. Give me a big fat BREAK. This looks like bullshit, no? I'm sorry, but I'd love for someone to try and give any other explanation besides one personally offended you or hit home for you, and the other doesn't.

And if that bothers you or you feel like it says something negative about you...idk what you want me to say??? You can't control how other people perceive you and that's how people outside this majority-of-the-fandom bubble see it. You don't need to respond, I just wish and genuinely hope this gives you a moment to think about why fans who ARE bothered by both (and not just paying lip service to being bothered by the one but railing against the other) are so frustrated with people saying everyone is welcome but in practice only bending over backwards for the comfort and emotions of themselves, and people they can easily relate to.

You don't have to like Thessaly (I don't. I find her an interesting antagonist, I don't stan her. And frankly that's not the point of her character) but you'll pardon me for feeling more than a bit cynical and side eying people's motivations for what seems a...pretty obvious double standard, on what fictional crimes related to real world issues matter to y'all, and which clearly don't. Either actually bring the same energy to the table for fictional people who committed atrocities, even if against a group you're not part of and thus don't feel the need to empathize with, or just carry on, but accept that you don't have the SLIGHTEST room to talk about cutting characters who do immoral things. And you also need to accept that you look like a hypocrite when you do.

#thessaly #wanda the sandman #hob gadling #I could've cried sexism!!! Problematic Male vs Female Characters except 1) I don't actually think that's the main reason *here*#2) there are WAY better examples of that particular double standard in this fandom #also i can admit when I'm a bit of a hypocrite or was.#i used to dip my toes into the dreamling stuff too early on #but idk. It just got too sour seeing ppl whitewash (lol I know I'm a comedian)#what he did over and over. And I genuinely had started to wonder #if the show hadn't included that particular crime and I'd just imagined it from the comics because #my memory is shit sometimes and I guess I was naive. I *wanted* to believe someone would talk aboutit #if it had made it in. but ultimately i went back and checked and no #and seeing how the whole fandom behaving affected my non-white mutuals some of whom...#like these are my friends man or ppl I just respect and I can't just. Ignore their feelings and their pov #and act like they werent making points or it doesn't matter #like it's all just fun and games for everyone on the same terms. And seeing how easy it was #for everyone to ignore was so unsettling. I couldn't keep pretending it was just fiction and didn't affect anyone real #Call me a bully a t3rf apologist (fuck you and for the record. no)#a puritan or a Fancop (actually stop comparing #people disagreeing with you online to what cops do. For fucks sake you just make it look like nothing is really real to you outside fandom)#whatever man. Whatever helps you sleep. I'm just gonna block you #if you're clearly sticking your fingers in your ears. engaging with you is a waste of time and energy then #Hell I have sympathy for anyone who doesn't like thessaly #especially trans fans. Especially rn. But lbr that sympathy for a lot of the white trans/queer fans only goes one way!!!#never gets extended to anyone else's issues. Like THATSthe issue. And it's shitty!#(sorry this post is not about me in the confessional lol that's why I put this at the bottom #I just had feelings to get out and yes its my blog but i didn't want to clog the airways)

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thewertsearch · 1 year

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Kanaya was the one to name Rose? Does this mean all the 'Homestuck Player' actions from Act 1 were trolls all along?

This was a mechanic I had long since dismissed as a quirk of early Homestuck, back before its rules had been solidified. I love that even old mysteries like this can come full-circle.

It also means this was definitely Karkat.

GA: I Am A Troll From Another Universe Using A Chat Client Utility Which Is Capable Of Contacting You And Your Friends At Any Point Of Your Lives Which I Choose Up To And Including The Moment Of Your Own Incompetence Fueled Self Destruction

Imagine if this was the first message we'd seen from a troll, back in Act 3. It would've taken me half a dozen posts just to digest the implications!

GT: you are a time traveling space alien from the future, sent here to study humans? GA: No GT: are you from mars? is it a mission of peace? GA: No John You Werent Listening GT: what does your time machine look like? a phone booth? phone booths are a popular thing for some reason. GA: Damn It

Well, you were looking for a way to make this interesting. Whatever else you can say about the John Egbert stream-of-consciousness, it's certainly never boring.

GT: were you lured to earth by a huge gyroscopey thing that jodie foster piloted in contact, while matthew mcconaughey sort of acted as her spiritual guide i guess… GA: What The Hell GT: and then he kind of preached to her about having faith instead of believing in the sciences so hard all the time, and i guess in the end she believed him, maybe? GT: actually, im not even sure what the point of mcconaughey was in that movie. but he was still awesome. GT: and then jodie found her dad on an alien planet... but i think he was a ghost or something? or maybe an alien in disguise.

I feel like I'm getting spoiled for Contact, which I've never seen - but I'm also learning that Contact is apparently buckwild enough that spoilers don't matter.

GA: Im A Girl Not A Boy GT: oh, sorry. GT: i don't know why i thought you were. GA: It Happens

Especially on a planet where dimorphism doesn't appear to matter. I feel like troll gender expression would be more about presentation than physical traits, in a manner similar to Discworld dwarfs.

GT: were you trolling rose too? [...] GA: I Just Spoke To Her In The Future GA: [...] She Said To Paste Something From Our Conversation

That was John, actually - and just before that, he told you to message him in a way that would make the ensuing conversations as convoluted as possible.

So far, you're succeeding with flying colors, and copypasting predestined messages is just the icing on the cake.

GA: Now Im Wondering If You Might Be Trolling Me As Well GT: ok well, just between you and me… GT: SOMEONE here is getting trolled. GT: and it just might be all three of us.

Again, you're using Trollian. Any conversation you have in this app is guaranteed to troll you, your partner, and probably a couple of bystanders for good measure. It's happened before.

#homestuck liveblog #full liveblog #act 5.2 #2702 #s61

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nothingtherefornow · 1 year

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To people saying Chloe and Lila would be hated if they werent white, as a POC woman I can say this. No. They’d still get people stanning them purely for skin color. Because in the minds of some people, if any writes a POC as anything other than a pure innocent angel they are RACIST.

Why do people like defending rotten wicked characters so much to the point of staning or excusing those character's evil actions and behavior ?

I know that nuanced villains are trendy right now, the kind of antagonist whose evil stems from a traumatic past, or whose intentions are noble but their methods immorals. And it's true that the writing of those kinds of characters is captivating to follow it's well written.

But sometimes, a character that is inherently evil in nature without any valid reason is also entertaining to follow. Lots of Disney villains for example, like Jafar, Scar, the first version of Maleficient, Dr Facilier, Frollo, Mother Gothel, etc... really embody a form of pure evil with no undertone of good in them, and yet we love them anyway without making excuses for their bad deeds all the time

Even if Chloe's behavior can be explained by having an abusive mother, Chloe is a character who, between seasons 4 and 5, embraced his evil nature and joy in hurting others.

She still had a chance to change and follow the right path between seasons 2 and 3, but between heroism and evil, Chloe has chosen evil, because deep down her selfishness and her ego are the dominant aspects of her personality.

In Chloe's head since being a hero didn't get her what she wanted, she would get it by becoming a villain, from then on Chloe is an antagonist, and we should appreciate her as such instead of trying to pass her off as the misunderstood anti-heroine that she is not

And wathever Lila's past is, she's going to far for her actions to be justified or easilly forgiven.

Lila is literally willing to help a dangerous villain terrorizing all of Paris and willing to help him endanger people just to get her petty revenge against those who barelly offended her. the one who could eventually truly warrant her hatred is Gabriel after Revelation, and yet

SPOILERS WARNING

It seems Lila will only content herself with seizing all of Gabriel's secrets and stealing his miraculous, while Marinette was once again be the victim and the scapegoat of Lila's rage and frustration in Revelation and Confrontation.

And not just Marinette, in Confrontation, Lila's plan involves also ruining the academic, even professional future of her classmates who have always been kind to her, and believed and supported her all this time. And yet she still planned to stab them like that just to put it all on Marinette's ? Or whas it because Lila actually takes a liking to the idea of ruining innocent people's life. What can possibly justify such a despicable act? I tell you : NOTHING !!!

And finally, Lila isn't an harmless con artist, she is one fooling many women into thinking she is their daugther (which is emotionally abusive and neglectfull to those poor women), and attending two school at the same times under two different identities (thus excessively abusing the trust of her classmates, teachers and school mates). This is going to far just to get attention and affection

END OF SPOILER WARNING

Lila just seems to really craves the same thing that Chloé herself enjoys, crushing people's dreams and lives just because she can

From a moral point of view, Marinette absolutely does not deserve all the shit Lila inflicts on her, the hatred that Lila feels towards the two alter egos of Maribug is more gratuitous than justified. It is not just about a girl that Lila sees as a threat because she knows hier lies, Lila actually seems to be acting out of pure envy, jealousy, and desire to hurt when Marinette is concerned.

No matter what Lila's past and true attentions are, it doesn't justify nor excuse the real harm she does around her, and the same applies to Chloé as well. Because before they got exposed, Lila and Chloé weren't alone, they had people who guenuinly loved them and cared for them, they could have stopped and satisfied themselves with what they already had, which was already a lot. But they didn't.

Lila and Chloé don't necessarily want love nor affection that much, what they crave the most fame, popularity, attention and power more than anything else, and they are willing to do everything to get what they want, they are willing to become villains and hurt people for that. Character like that are not misunderstood victims, they are real bad and toxic people that you wouldn't want to forgive if you were victim of their worst misdeeds

#miraculous ladybug #ml analysis #ml rant and opinion #chloé bourgeois #lila rossi #ml chloé salt #ml lila salt #ml season 5 spoilers

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asura22zoro · 2 months

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in regards to ship wars when a same sex ship vs m/f ship shipping the m/f ship over the same sex ship isn't homophobic ( the attempts to claim that you would support the same sex ship or see evidence for it if it was a m/f ship is just a baseless claim if the het ship became canon I have no doubt the people who shipped the same sex ship would get mad or claim queerbaiting but if the same sex ship became canon they would claim any people who say it was forced or don't accept it are homophobic claiming they only shipped the het ship because the genders involved going there are plenty of shows where the het ship becomes canon, when you could say that their whole citing the genders involved or using that as a defense says makes that come off as projection. Imagine their anger if someone said there will always be the next show where you same sex ship can become canon. to be frank a same sex ship doesn't deserve to be canon just because its a same sex ship it doesn't matter if its the only example of LGBT rep in the show if it was thrown in at the last minute while the straight ship got actual buildup in the narrative then it should not have become canon

basically the claim mthat in a ship war vs same sex vs a m/f ship

that you are automatically homophobic,dont care about the lgbt community or would say something differently if it was a m/f if you ship the m/f ship over the same sex ship or say that the same sex ship has no evidence and deny the arguments that its

is just bland/blind statement trying to attack the character of the person who disagrees with no basis in fact ( heck there are people who are lgbt themselves who have said that a same sex ship had no evidence)

an adhominem attack

and It can be turned around on them saying they only ship the same sex ship because either they are the fetishist type or the activist type who shipped same sex ship to act like an activist ( shipping is not and shouldnt be activism)

lets be real here the term shipping goggles became a thing for a reason

I mean there are plenty of times where the same sex ship doesnt become canon and they try to attack the het ship or claim queerbaiting then if a same sex ship becomes canon and someone says it was forced they will claim homophobia.

or say something like go watch another show for a het ship as if the genders involved is why we shipped the het ship , which is insulting and feels like projection. ( I mean how many times do you hear them try to cite the genders involved as to why its good etc

I also remember one show with a last minute retcon of a same sex ship which broke the narrative of show which actively built towards a het ship. someone went but its the only same sex ship in the show ( which makes the argument that we only shipped the m/f ship because of the genders involved projection since they try to make that argument or the but there arent many canon same sex ships ( when thats irrelevant to good writing we are talking about a specific show and the writing inside it )

caring about the lgbt community doesnt mean that you would be okay with breaking a narrative pointing to a m/f ship just to force in a same sex ship even if not doing that meant there would be no lgbt representation in the show.

Its like just hope for next time ( and have that person make the same sex ship in a good way ( not to mention they try to cite censorship for the show even when the two characters barely interacted in the first place and one character showed they werent able to support the other while the other person in the m/f ship was)

with actual teasing or buildup to the relationship with the two characters

#shipping nonsense

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dark-eyezzzz · 5 months

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you make me fucking sick!!!

follow the flow of my stomach acid!!!!!!

I don't want you in my dreams!

I don't want you in my dreams!!!!

I can't keep this up

it's hard to say who's fault it is

you lied though there's no way you didn't know the bandaids that spilled out of your mouth werent gonna stick

I think I hate you some days

I can't say I didn't do anything wrong but maybe if you fucking listened to me it wouldn't have gotten to that point

is this how abusers justify themselves?

I know I've thought about killing you. even though I never would.

no matter who you think you are, a man is a man

"I don't owe you anything"

is this love?

I hope someone, somewhere punishes you for everything you choose not to care about

cuz I begged

I can't forget that I begged and pleaded for acceptance and never got it

I can't forget that you saw my tears falling and still decided to exclude me

people think it's dumb. I believe if I talk about it they will say I am stupid. they will say it's all a game

I can't ignore the fact I kept asking

Gonzalo please tell the truth

Gonzalo please listen to me

Gonzalo please reach out

Gonzalo please don't lie about me

Gonzalo please don't keep secrets from me

Gonzalo please invite me

Gonzalo please only apologize when you actually mean it

Gonzalo please stop justifying why you hurt me

I kept asking, and you didn't listen. and I went crazy. and now all the damage feels like my fault. I feel like no one should know what triggered it, because if I tell them then I'm justifying something bad

I regret so much of what I said. but I can also acknowledge you pushed me to that point by being careless, untruthful, and ignorant

imagine pleading for the same apology, from the person you love the most, for months.

I don't want an "I'm sorry, but you did this so it's your fault you feel this way"

I clearly state that, and I'm still hit with "but"

am I seriously the fucking crazy person for getting angry at that?

what response officially constitutes me as the bad guy? am I avoiding responsibility, or is it just a simple fact that if I am hurt I become hate?

I tell myself the scars that cover my body aren't his fault, but mine

I run my fingers along memories that come in the form of reparative tissue and stab wounds

a closed door protecting the fat cells that screamed for air however many months ago

he wanted me to believe none of my hurt is his fault

he wanted me to believe I was in the wrong for accusing him of lying and gaslighting

he told me his friends said I spat on their friendship

I asked them about that in an apology, and they said it wasn't true

all of a sudden he "doesn't remember" saying that

now he doesn't tell me anything

there were a few months where I don't know, maybe he pitied me, but he still reached out

now it's radio silence, my only updates on him being through story posts and a little birdie

I'm angry that I still care. I'm angry that it's in a platonic way. I'm angry that the possibility of friendship is gone. I'm angry that it's all out of my control. I'm angry that people who called themselves my friends are now dropping me for him. I'm angry that he's everywhere. I'm angry that it's because he's mostly a good person. I'm angry that I can't feel comfortable entering spaces I used to thrive in. I'm angry that he denied my value in this world. I'm angry that people always talk about him. I'm angry that I brought him into a scene and he got more popular than me. I'm angry at his unrealized privilege. I'm angry that someone who hasn't even grown up yet has this type of affect on me. I'm angry that this all feels like my fault. I'm angry at how I acted. I'm angry at how he acted. I'm angry when I see people putting him on a pedestal, when I know he will stretch the truth to prove himself right. I'm angry I can't say this out loud. it all makes me angry.

as far as I'm concerned, I did a lot wrong and I can acknowledge that. I can pay money for where I live, I can pay money for all my food and internet, and I can acknowledge what I did wrong. I can survive in my own. he can not do those things. and the thing that bothers me is that no one will know him on that level. unless they are his partner, having insecurities invalidated like myself, they just won't know how he manipulates situations to protect his morals. how he puts words into people's mouths to push the fact that you're in the wrong. because I guess most aren't as rotten as I.

it's like no matter who I talk to, who I want to vent to, I can't expel the fear that they think I want to turn them against him. I don't. God punishes people for me. I just want to talk about why I'm hurt, instead of feeling like if I don't explain to people that I'm a needy piece of shit and it's all my fault, I'm wronging him.

when I think of that relationship, I think of begging and pleading. pleading for more than an "I'm sorry, but-", an "I love you, but-", maybe I'm crazy, but when I hear that, I hear "I'm not sorry", "I only love you under these conditions"

does that make me crazy?

does that mean I ruined something good?

I swear I tried to explain the best I could, but you called me embarrassing, you told me I should be ashamed of things people thank me for

you made me feel worthless

and now I wander through social media feeds, seeing you around every corner

I take a break to sleep and you show up in my dreams, with a group of people who don't want me around

now I wonder if killing myself would really feel worse than always questioning who you've turned against me

and always wondering if I deserve to have everyone turned against me

approaching people I thought I understood with a fresh sense of trepidation

sometimes I wish I could enter a crowded room and scream "WHEN WE WERE DATING I TOLD HIM HE MADE ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF AND WHEN I CUT MYSELF ITS HIS FAULT FOR MAKING ME FEEL WORTHLESS AND I KNOW THATS ABUSIVE AND TERRIBLE BUT I'VE ACKNOWLEDGED IT AND APOLOGIZED AND I REALLY CAN'T DO ANYTHING PAST THAT"

maybe if I yell that, I'll feel safe again

I guess this is just the consequences of my actions.

I think I'm still a bad person. because my reaction to those consequences is to stab and kill. not anyone else, mostly myself. I have so many bad evil feelings that need to leak out. that's why I thought I could bleed this pain out. if I butchered my own flesh just right maybe the pain would drip down onto the bedsheets before I frantically grab a tissue. maybe I could soak it up with a dirty t-shirt. but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't carve the badness out.

I just am painfully stuck on the question, did you taint me or did I taint you?

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sophieinwonderland · 2 years

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Hi Sophie! I was wondering about something and thought youd be best to inquire about it, so here goes --

So, over the past few months I've developed a special interest in researching plurality and the history behind it, and Ive been talking about it to anyone who will listen to me explain the idea of non disordered/traumagenic plurality to them with an open mind.

My therapist knows I'm plural, and was the one to help me figure it out (I'm diagnosed with DID), but has a very rudimentary understanding of the disorder and plurality as a whole. She only knows very basic concepts about it, and a lot of the time I end up having to explain to her a lot of things as she just doesn't understand it outside of a very small medical understanding of it.

The other day, I started talking to her about how I was really interested in research surrounding plurality, and she asked me about what interesting things I'd found. I started telling her about the idea of non traumagenic plurality in a simplified sort of "people think this could be possible" way since I wasn't sure how she'd react, and she got upset, almost seemingly angry I'd point out such a thing.

She proceeded to tell me how that wasnt how it worked, and incorrectly referenced the dsm-v to do so. I had never see her react so strongly to such a thing, and it made me feel like maybe it wasnt a good idea to go introducing such a thing to someone if they werent willing to listen. I didnt really say anything to argue, because frankly it just made me feel like I'd just been scolded. /neu

However, it's really been bothering me ever since, because I really dont like not seeing eye to eye on such things with people who are close to me like this, if that makes sense.

I really just wanted your opinion on it, if it would be worth it to try and explain to her more about the concept and maybe get her to listen, or if it would be better to just not bring it up?

- Liz

That sucks. Sorry that happened.

To your question, I guess it depends on how important the matter is to you. The point of therapy is healing, not talking syscourse. But you might not be able to go far with a therapist who not only doesn't understand your experiences but also aggressively shuts down communication. I can't say if this is worth it or not. That has to be up to you.

If you want to pursue this, ask questions instead of trying to argue. A lot of doctors don't like to be challenged and will feel threatened if they perceive you acting like you know more than them.

Try asking her about the DSM, specifically, since she brought it up last time. If there's an exemption for cultural and religious practices, then does that mean there are practices that mimic the symptoms of DID?

Ask if she believes these are actually spiritual or psychological, and if the latter, ask what might make these alter-like mental constructs less real than an actual alter.

Through this approach, you're learning her positions better and forcing her to think about and consider her own positions instead of becoming defensive, all while giving her the illusion of being the one who is educating you.

#ask box #syscourse #therapy #therapists #psychiatry

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placebogirl7 · 3 years

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Kinoshita: Ren's assistant and "voice of conscience"

I decided to make an analysis about one of the most underrated character in Nana (also because he doesn't appear that much) but who I appreciate so much. Prepare yourself for a very long post to read because my beloved Kinoshita deserves it! ;) Kinoshita has been introduced as Ren assistant: his role is to drive Ren home when he's too tired, to remind him his schedule, to help him with whatever he needs. Kinoshita is also a big fan of Ren, so he's excited to have the opportunity to work with his idol. When we first see him in the manga, he's driving Ren home after a long day work. He's fashinated about Ren's expensive car and when Ren tells him that it's just a car and he doesn't matter about apprearance unlike Takumi, Kinoshita says to him that he's very talented and rich but he's not ambitious despite this. He also says that he let Takumi have control even his music and that it's when he plays punk music that he gives is best. Kinoshita is firmly convinced that Ren soul belongs to punk and that's the kind of music he should do. Probably in the old days he would have been a huge fan of former Blast! XD He sees the potential of Ren and he's aware that Takumi is "suppressing" it asking him to write songs more suitable for Reira's voice (which is definitely not punk).

At first Ren laughs about Kinoshita's words, because they just seems the words of an excited fan, but later he realized that maybe those words werent' that stupid. In fact, during a talk with Takumi, the latter says something that immediately make Ren remind of Kinoshita. Takumi basically confirmed what Kinoshita himself said before: Ren shows his best when he act like a rebel punk and he plays punk music. Can we just spend one minute looking at Ren's face expression in the last image of the panel below? He's smiling, but there's a sad expression on his face after he realized that Kinoshita's words were right. I think in that moment Ren realized what he had left behind and the fact that he's not free as he was in the past. He has to play the role of Trapnest's guitarist and he can't be anymore just Ren Honjo. Suddenly Takumi's kingdom was not so bright anymore compared to his own one little kingdom he abandoned.

So we can say that Kinoshita is the first one who really realized Ren's real potential and he has no fear to tell him directly.

Another thing that I appreciate about Kinoshita is exactly that he doesn't have fear to tell what he thinks and he has the courage to do it even about Takumi. Despite his evident bad attitude, nobody in Cookie staff has the courage to rebel against Takumi: they just wait for hsi orders and obey to them even if they don't agree. But one day, while talking to Ren, Kinoshita finally expresses what in my opinion is the thought of everyone: they are just little soldiers at the service of Takumi. He respects him and he recognize that he's an excellent business man, but he's not good when it comes to treat people in a decent way. He lacks of empathy and of other things on a human level. Even if Ren doesn't seem to appreciate this, I think Kinoshita was totally right and also I love how he feels at ease to confess to Ren his thoughts and opinion: he doesn't seem to simply consider Ren as an idol or a person he has to take care of but as a sort of friend to whom he can feel free to talk.

Later in the story, Kinoshita starts to re-evaluate Takumi after he found a solution to stop the scandal between Ren and Reira. He understands that Takumi actually cares about the band and its members and he carefully thinks about everything to avoid bad situations or loss that may bring damages to Cookie Music. Also, he doesn't see himself anymore only as Ren's assistant (like he has done until that moment) but he starts to see himself as a "vassal" of Trapnest, embracing Takumi's vision that he had criticized before. Ren is very happy to know that, look at his smile.

And now let's talk about Ren's drug addiction and how Kinoshita reacts to that. Of course Kinoshita knows about Ren's problem but he also knows he can't do a lot to be helpful. When Ren tries to get rid of all the cocaine he has but then starts to suffer from withdrawal, while they are driving to Cookie Music, Kinoshita notices that Ren doesn't feel good at all and tries to convince him to go to the hospital instead of going to work. Ren won't listen to reasons and yell at him to bring him at Cookie Music (knowing that Narita will give him drug). In the end Kinoshita obey to his order, but since he's really worried and not satisfied he later decided to call Takumi and inform him about Ren's conditions. Despite he doesn't like Takumi, he knows that he's the only one he can ask for help because Takumi has something he lack of: the power to find a solution even to the most complicated things. The binomial hate-admiration that Kinoshita has for Takumi is evident from the beginning to the end of the serie. I won't put images of the above mentioned scenes because Tumblr allows you to put only 10 images per post and I need to reserve the space for other images of more important scenes, but I'm sure you all remeber both the scenes I mentioned.

Another thing I want to point out is Kinoshita's vision about Nana and Ren's relationship. We can say that he has always been very considerate about their relationship and he never doubted even for a second that Nana wasn't sincere about Ren. He had understood from Ren that they truly loves each other and he sincerely wanted them to stay together. The little panel below is an example of this: Nana and Ren were having hard times and they rarely met each other. They had just found a new house but they couldn't spend time together in it and Kinoshita seemed to be very sorry because he saw how much Ren needed to stay with her.

Another scene were he demonstrates he cares for Nana and Ren's relationship is when Search publish that scandalous article and all the media start to talk about this, inventing fake things. Ren doesn't say a word and Kinoshita encourages him to do what he want, telling him that if he wants to spend good words about his girlfriend in front of the reporters, he won't prevent him from doing it. He says to Ren "follow what your heart tells you to do", which is the same thing that Yasu himself had told him in the bathroom during the Trapnest Vs. Blast show, when they spoke about Ren's drug addiction and Nana's hyperventilation attacks. Again, Kinoshita is acting like a supportive friend to Ren and not only as a mere assistant. When Ren refuses to do it and defines his old band members and friends (including his girlfriend) "old thrown away partner", Kinoshita seems shocked by that reaction. I personally was shocked too when I read it, because Ren really acted like a jerk in that moment. He put his career and Trapnest above his love and realtionship and friends, acting like Takumi would have acted, and so for Kinoshita (who in that moment still didn't appreciate Takumi for this) it must have been disappointing to see him acting in that cold way towards his lover and friends who were being accused.

Later, while Trapnest are in London, Ren realises that he acted like he didn't care and he reminds of Kinoshita's words (exactly like it happened when he told him he gave his best when he played punk music).

When Ren and Nana separate and Ren refuses to go fetch her because he feels ashamed to meet her and tell her about his drug addiction, Kinoshita takes the initiative and decide that if Ren needs to be encouraged to go to Nana, then he will be the person who will encourage him. He knows that Ren needs Nana and he hopes that reuniting with her could help him to feel better and convince him to stop taking drugs. While they are in Ren's car driving towards Cookie Music and Ren is talking about this with Hachi on the phone, Kinoshita asks him where Nana is in that moment and when he answers "Osaka", Kinoshita immediately change direction and starts to drive towards Osaka.

Again Kinoshita brings out his rebel side and affirms that he can't do what the staff expect him to do or follow Takumi's orders: he's convinced that he's doing the right thing (and he was definitely doing it in my opinion). He blames again Takumi and his way of handling the situation, knowing that what Ren needs is professional help and a break to recover, but Ren suddenly brings out the reality of the fact: he's not disappointed by Takumi or the staff, he's disappointed by him, his own hero, the idol he estimates so much. Kinoshita doesn't know what to answer, he doesn't want to hurt Ren and probably he doesn't want to admit to himself that Ren is right. In the last scene of the panel below, Kinoshita's expression is very sad because he realized that there's nothing he can do anymore to help Ren. He did his best but he failed. I think it must have been hard for him to realize that.

I think we can make a comparison here: Kinoshita has always idealized Ren exactly as Nobu did. They both saw Ren has an invincible hero, a perfect creature to admire and they wish to be like him, but then they realized that not all that glitters is gold and that Ren wasn't as perfect as they saw him. He was actually more fragile then them and they feel powerless because they knew they couldn't do anything to help him. When you idealize a person so much and then you discover that person isn't as you saw him/her, then you feel disappointed and that's what happened to both Kinoshita and Nobu.

Last but not least, after Ren's death Kinoshita tries his best to complete what Ren has left incomplete. His thoughts aren't for Trapnest's future or Cookie Music or for his work: his thoughts are for Nana, just like the last thoughts of Ren were. Kinoshita's mission is to be a sort of "emissary" who has to bring to Nana the feelings Ren was going to express her, his last words, his thoughts for her. The scene below is so sad but I love it, it's one of my favorite in the manga. Looking at Kinoshita crying while saying that "Please, accept it" breaks my heart evry time. He's literally begging Nana to take that present which Ren wanted to give her but didn't manage to, he wants Ren to be happy wherever he is in that moment, knowing that his wish has been fulfilled.

So, after all this recap of Kinoshita's moments, I think we can say that he's not only a mere assistant for Ren, but he's also a friend. His feelings for Ren are sincere, he doesn't praise him because he wants to keep his work, he praise him because he sincerely admire him. Kinoshita knows Ren needs and try to help him as much as he can, not only with his work but even more with his personal life. And if we consider all the times he has said something and Ren hasn't taken him seriously, but later realized how much he was right, we can say that Kinoshita's role in the story is to be Ren's "voice of conscience", that voice we all have inside us that says to us what is the right thing to do (but we often ignore it like Ren did). Kinoshita is a sort of mixture between Yasu and Nobu: he gives Ren the same advices as Yasu would have given him and he admire him like Nobu did. I think this is a good thing for Ren, because now that he's not a member of Blast anymore he doesn't have much time to see his old and true friends (not that Naoki and Reira aren't his friends but...well, in my opinion they can't be compared to Yasu and Nobu), so having Kinoshita near is like having a part of his friends with him all the time.

I hope this super long post hasn't annoyed you and I hope now we can all love Kinoshita together because he deserves a lot of love for what he did ♥.

Nana Week 2021 Day 1 Prompt: side character

#nana #nana week #nana week 2021 #nana analysis #kinoshita #ren honjo #7daysofnana #day 1 #prompt: side character

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goodman-diana · 5 years

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A chorus line: 2006 broadway revival

Im trying out this new thing where i review productions on tumblr instead of ranting to my non-theater friends. If you want me to review a production, send me a link in the ask! Spoilers coming your way!

First of all: this show is disgustingly profound. I don't know if I'll ever truly understand it, especially as someone who (probably) wont do theater professionally, and especially especially doesn't know a thing about dance. But i do like writing about shows, so here are my thoughts:

Visuals (i liked them a LOT)

The mirrors creating the illusion of a wider space even though theres barely any room in reality was a great metaphor for the number of jobs that were available for these dancers

Again, the mirrors. When cassie does her solo dance in "the music and the mirror," i was absolutely star-struck. You could see the desperation in every move from the front and back because of the wonderful mirrors. Lighting was also wonderful in this scene

Ok i should talk about costumes. Not my favorite thing about the show bc i thought some of them looked ridiculous (dianas shoulders were just... not it for me) but generally they made sense for the character.

Everyone knows about the iconic headshot scene, right? They parody it everywhere (i saw it first in something rotten). I thought it would be kind of laughable but they played it in a way that was serious and again, desperate, showing how zach and casting directors in general dont see you, they see a plastic, two dimensional version of you

To mirror (ha) my previous point, i thought it was really smart to not have zach onstage for most of the show. For most of the characters he feels like a god-figure, their fate held in his hands. to have him available for everyone to see wouldve rendered that a weaker point. It also hammers in his relationship with cassie and makes it more meaningful because theres god, coming down from wherever the hell (ha) he lives and talking to someone whose life he effectively controls. Hes vulnerable with her.

My favorite part: the BOWS madre mía omfg. Goddamn. Beautifully executed, showing how their desperation for this gig did nothing but make them look like little wind up toys, all identical to one another with no individuality. Goddamn. It was eerie let me tell you, and i was definitely more than a little spooked.

Acting

I know everyone cries when paul does his monologue, but i dunno it didnt really do it for me. That's probably more the stuff they talked about than the acting though. I did get a little emotional with the whole "take care of my son" but no tears.

I liked sheila. That is all.

I really liked how reluctant they were to share about themselves. Theyve spent so much time perfecting their pirouettes and their time steps (i know nothing abt dance sorry sorry) that they dont often get to reveal who they are as people. I read an article about a real ballerina who went through the same thing and it's almost a foreshadowing to the bows when everyone looks the same as everyone else, and they strangely look comfortable without any individuality

Even though i ragged on her costume i thought diana was really nicely cast

Music

Generally speaking the music/lyrics werent eye opening or super impactful for me, but they were good. You know, it's sondheim.

"I can do that" was SO CUTE

"Sing" might just be my favorite number in the show? It's hysterical you should watch the texas state production. this song kind of showcases their chemistry and kristines dependence on al (idk why but i kinda feel like kristine has a slightly emotionally abusive relationship with al, but im not sure if thats a textually supported idea)

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"Dance: ten; looks: three" was funny too but in a way that made me feel bad for val and the state of women in general. She wasnt even actually ugly

Final thoughts: the first words that came out of my mouth when i started watching the show was "this is terrible quality video recording." The last words were "wow." This show is broadway, both in subject matter and in its art form. You should really consider giving it a watch (i hear the movie kinda sucks though so maybe dont watch that)

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startswithat-blog · 6 years

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Nov 11

happy remembrance day i guess

long time no type, well 3 days but still a few things have happened since we last talked to end off the last post i opened it and he said something along the lines of not now in the future which idk if im hyped about or weirded out but it'll do for now

so yesterday was the big night i ate twoish steaks, showered thinking the night was going to end with me high with some new friends but nope plans went south and im still kinda pissed about it

where to begin okay I was supposed to finally meet T get high with him and his friends and bri was supposed to come with, he friend was supposed to come and we’d go to a party after

buttt no the friend and party cancelled but hanging at res was still on bri gets into bed i tell her dont fall asleep we need to go she said shell get ready at 9 i get up to shower at 8:30 i go back down and shes sleeping and im trying my hardest to get her out of bed but nobody can get her to do what she doesnt want to do

she was all excited for the party but now that its cancelled it doesnt matter about our plans shes all of the sudden exhausted i tried for 30 mins and she starts getting rude and kicking me literally off her bed and i eventually give up and im pissed i say then dont talk to me about anything

all the while T’s snapping me telling me, looking forward to me coming and i had to bail on him bc shes deciding that tonights the night she wants to be a selfish bitch

let me tell you now weve had these plans festering for a week

and as much i hate to admit care about what people think to an extent so when people are waiting for me expecting me to be somewhere no matter what ill be there unless soemthing serious happens

if i say im gonna do something ill do it yet sis cant say the same

i was pissed and T was snapping me during telling me that we cant not come he already paid for us and in this moment knowing that weve had plans that she said she was gonna commit to people relying on expecting her people have already paid for her this bitch still doesn't come that got me pissed i literally prayed i wouldnt choke her out and hate her forever and swore to myself that i wasnt going to talk to her again

this might be an extra reaction in your eyes yet the true tea is shes done this before frosh week all over again we buy these 40$ braceleet which were just a waste of money bc we didnt go bc she didnt want to and yes ik what youre thinking i couldve went alone then and i couldve went alone now but you know what i suffer from anxiety i

its not as severe i dont think but im uncomfortable in situations where i dont know anyone and its not like i couldve drank to get comfortable bc there was no booze at the parties

but this time i wouldnt have mattered if i was comfortable or not we had plans and she broke them (”you went and broke our lives” a quote from the lovers dictionary i thought of) so with or without the anxiety im still pissed imagine having palns that you and others are looking forward to just for them to get cancelled at the last minute it sucks and when someones being a bitch and acting like theyve done nothing wrong makes it even worse

oh yeah not only are all the people who were expecting us mad, i looked bad and i had to pay him back FOR WEED I DIDNT EVEN SMOKE, MONEY I DIDNT HAVE FOR WEED I DIDNT SMOKE i went to bed not high no new ffriends and pissed one of the worst saturdays to date

the only extra thing that i did yesterday waas believe that we werent gonna speak againa nd that id move

i want to move but im not because she doesnt want to but you know what next semester im leaving whether shes coming or not

its not a product of this i based my living situation completely off of her and where she was going but the tea is the people are weird and its too far especially through the winter

i woke up this morning still mad but as ive proably not mentioned i cant hold a grudge for long not because i have a big heart or whatever but atleast i think because i never could with my mother and it programmed me somehow

im not talking to her and get this im snapping T all about this and he tells me that she snapped me saying sorry and that i wasnt talking to her like ur not gonna apologize but snapping T is gonna change something i was pissed and said her feelings have nothing to do with mine which is the truth i mean i didnt do anything wrong

anyway she comes out and apologizes to me i say whatever ask her if shes paid him back she says she will

i mean i dont think im overreacting it was a shtty thing to do

soso were talking but im being dry, i mean i want to forgive her and i mostly have but idk it just showed me you cant rely on people

T’s telling me its fine and i should forget about it and let it go but i wanted to go and the fact that she did killed it for me

now as mad as i was and might sttill be i cant help but to think that maybe eveything happens for a reason i wasnt meant to meet him that night

i remeber how pissed she was when i accidentally took her case and that was an accident this was purposeful and didnt think how this would effect me it was selfish point blank i think im just pissed that i paid for weed that i didn't smoke and that on tp of eveything she still tells me to clean the bathroom thats also gotta stop her telling me what to do i moved out of my moms house and i dont plan on returning full time yet here i am

writing about it makes me calm down and i think im gonna forgive i just felt betrayed thats all

i still want to move if not december next semester whther shes coming or not i probably shouldve lived on res or went to trent but whats done is done cant go backwars only ahead

all that shit aside i spent the day doing absolutely nothing and having another meltdown about how my life was pointless and meaningless and i dont know what im doing with it or where its going so i spent it watching old movies god i wish i knew what my purpose was then i could work towards it and not feel worthless

B went to a meeting almost three hour ago she texted me asking if i was okay and idk why shed ask im not the one outside the house and then her phone ddies

to be continued

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