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#and abortion is so evil please give that child a chance to laugh
soundlessdragon · 1 year
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I know things are scary now but please please give your baby a chance to laugh
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For each member of the Cullens, what do you think it would take for them to realize the extent of how unhinged Edward is and what do you think they would do about it, if anything?
Well, we’re going dark places today, aren’t we?
Alice
Alice is already fully aware of what Edward is, she simply doesn’t care.
There are visions that Alice misses, Edward thinks Alice misses the vast majority of Biology due to being hyper focused on Jasper (and likely missed the school massacre that Edward was seriously planning) but there is a lot she doesn’t miss.
Every time Edward thinks about how great it’d be to smash Mike Newton’s head like a watermelon, every time he considers devouring Bella, every time he enters her room unannounced to stare at her while she sleeps unawares, the time Edward considers genocide of the Quileute Tribe because of Jake’s telling Bella a story he doesn’t even believe, Alice knows.
It changes nothing for her.
She roots for Edward and Bella’s relationship, not because she knows for a certainty it will work out, but because it might. And that slim might, where Bella Swan might survive and become Edward’s lover as well as her own Barbie is worth everything they put Bella through to get there.
Also damningly, Alice cares very little for how good Edward is for Bella just as she cares very little for Bella period. Bella is Alice’s excuse to party and a dress up toy, but Alice will cut contact with her to a) please Edward b) prove a point to Edward.
Worse, Alice will take Bella to Italy, a city where she knows Bella will be killed with a 90% chance upon entry, on the slim chance that they might prevent Edward’s suicide. Yes, she vaguely explains the risk Bella’s taking, but she doesn’t say it in clear terms nor does she waste much time arguing.
Edward is far more important to Alice than Bella.
What I’m getting at is, thanks to her gift, Alice is intimately aware of just what Edward is capable of. She doesn’t care. And yes, there’s something to be said that Edward, more often than not, does not act upon these futures and he shouldn’t be condemned for choices he does not make. However, he does make some of them, and Alice knows.
There’s nothing I think Edward could do to either inform her that she was gravely wrong in how she perceived him or drive her away. Alice would be disappointed he’s thrown the family into such disarray but most likely would try to steer him away from whatever choice would cause such a rift.
She would aid, abet, and enable him because that is what will keep the Cullens together. Which is something Alice very much wants.
Carlisle
Carlisle lives in a river in Egypt, the water is made of double think. There are strong hints that Carlisle’s family is not quite as gung ho or altruistic about the diet as he is. Instead of being appalled, Carlisle quietly lowers his standards, and gives enthusiastic applause when Edward does things like choose not to brutally murder the serial rapist who nearly raped Bella. This is big growth for Edward! He also takes measures like sending family members who have accidents to their victims funeral, in the hopes that something, maybe, might make them see humans as people worthy of life.
If you asked him though, he’d talk about how amazing his family and the Denali are for the diet, and how he’s so proud to be a part of this community that values human life. LOOK HOW MUCH THEY VALUE IT.
When it comes to Edward, I think Edward holds a special place in Carlisle’s heart. He was not only the first person he turned, but Edward left and came back, to Carlisle this signaled that he’d found meaning and purpose in preserving human life. More, Edward... is very good at hiding what he is and is desperate that Carlisle above all others never see it.
Rather than have a conscience, most of the time, what stops Edward from “you name horrific action” of the day is the thought of “What would Carlisle say?” 
My point being, from the outside, especially to Carlisle, Edward truly does look like a noble soul. There are... flags, but they’re easily ignored or written off as issues with Edward’s emotional maturity.
Where Carlisle starts getting concerned is with Bella. Edward leaves for Alaska, great, Carlisle’s proud he was able to make that decision and know his limits. ThEn EdWArd CoMeS BaCK.
Edward comes back, in a week, nothing has changed, and he refuses to leave. Carlisle talks to him, Edward’s thinking he’s better than Hamburger and he can’t let her win, what he actually says to Carlisle is something along the lines of “I can’t run from my fears” Carlisle does an upside down smiley face then says, “Yes, you can, please do” And Edward doesn’t.
Things with Edward and this girl get progressively weird, but Carlisle is very proud that Edward sees the value of human life and not murdering a girl for being nearly hit by a van (this is how low Carlisle’s standards have become), and then Alice goes, “Oh, by the way, Edward is in love with this girl!”
Carlisle just sits there, “Alright then” and quietly puts aside his dreams of moving to a town where Edward doesn’t eat Bella Swan.
But I’m getting off track, this isn’t about canon where Carlisle can explain Edward’s actions away as noble but extreme, emotionally immature, and misguided.
Eating Bella’s not enough. Carlisle will see this as a tragic accident, something he foresaw, but something he assumes will haunt Edward for eternity. And, as it will haunt Edward for eternity (though not for the reasons Carlisle assumes) there will be nothing to make Carlisle question Edward’s character. He was young and foolish to think his limits were endless, but this was a tragic accident.
And it’s something, that in canon, Carlisle is hoping won’t happen but expects with helplessness.
I think there are a number of things that could do it. Had Edward eaten Biology, had he decided to defy Volturi law by eating Saint Marcus’ Square, but staying closer to the realm of possibility...
Had Edward forcibly aborted Bella, murdering her and her child in the process, or else if Renesmee didn’t have her gift, and Edward murdered her after her birth (assuming Jake didn’t get to it first).
Those actions cannot be excused away nor cannot be seen as tragic accidents. They are premeditated and evil, and yes evil is a strong word, yet here we are. This is Carlisle staring in the face of madness.
And that’s what it will take.
If Edward cheats on Bella, then while Carlisle is sad and disappointed, affairs happen and passion fades. More, Edward and Bella married awfully young and barely knew each other, this perhaps isn’t surprising.
If Edward eats a human Bella on the day she’s supposed to be turned, in very suspicious circumstances right at the last minute. Carlisle will know, deep down, but never allow himself to believe it. He’ll think Edward is utterly devestated and had let his guard down on that last day in anticipation of Bella’s turning.
This though, there’s no denying this.
I don’t believe Carlisle can kill Edward. Murder is not in his nature, and more, Edward is so dear to him. And now that this has happened, Carlisle would blame himself in part because surely, the human Edward Masen would never have become this. 
He’d likely reach out to Aro. Eclipse has happened, but not Breaking Dawn, and more everything is in question. He has to know the truth from a man who has seen Edward’s very soul. He goes in person, likely tells Edward his plans, and Edward rages but that doesn’t stop Carlisle.
Rosalie (more on her below) would never forgive Edward, ever, she is done. She and Emmett likely go with Carlisle to Volterra to hear the truth of what Edward is. Esme stays behind with Edward, torn in half, but unable to leave his side in this time of crisis. With that, her and Carlisle’s marriage completely dissolves on the spot. Alice stays with Edward as well, which means Jasper does to, though this likely starts the gears in head and he begins to contemplate leaving his wife. Though I imagine he won’t act for some time.
By the time Emmett, Rosalie, and Carlisle reach Volterra the coven is broken.
If Bella survived, if Edward murdered Renesmee while she was out of commission for three days, then I imagine she too goes to Volterra. Not for truth, but so that Aro can murder her, because there’s no point in living anymore.
Emmett
It would have to be beyond the pale extreme because Emmett gets more hints than most of the family (i.e. Carlisle and Rosalie).
Edward doesn’t really confide in Emmett, per se, but he does say some pretty damning things on their hunting trip in New Moon and give off varying vibes of crazy. Rather than realize that Edward, perhaps, is dangerous, Emmett only gets the feeling that Edward might not be alright in the head. Mostly, Emmett doesn’t want to think about it.
So he gets to listen to Edward raving about how Bella could be crushed by a meteor, wondering why Edward even cares when two days ago he didn’t give a flying fuck about this rando tasty human.
To Emmett, Edward has been laughing madly to himself for days, is now a  paranoid wreck, and is starting to creep him out but... Maybe if he ignores it, Edward will go back to normal?
Not helping is that Emmett doesn’t care about human life. He’s constantly telling Edward to treat himself and eat Bella, in a manner that suggests he vicariously wants to live through the delicious experience (as well as get Edward to calm down). 
If Edward eats Bella, Emmett will slap him on the back and say “Good job, bro!” If Edward eats Bella after the whole “love” thing, well, that’s weird, but, uh, “Sorry, bro?” If Edward murders all of Biology...
Then Emmet might do a double take and think, you know, maybe something’s not right with Edward.
I think he’d suggest he and Rose take a very long vacation and wait for things to calm down. Hoping that, if he ignores this, it will go away and Edward will return to a... saneish person.
What Rose thinks is a different story.
Esme
There is nothing on this planet that could tear Esme away from Edward. Esme’s purpose in life, the thing that gives her joy each morning and each night, is her family which you can condense down to Edward: the best and brightest of all of us.
We see it in canon.
The day after Edward decides he’s in love he acts like a lunatic. The car smells like Bella, as he kidnapped her for a ride home (Bella did not realize she had, in fact, been abducted. Edward does for two seconds then says to himself, “No, no, this is--completely necessary. I’M A MONSTER”
Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett get to ride home in this Bella smelling car. Edward keeps laughing, like he’s in an opium den, it’s fucking weird. Edward offers no explanation, the car always smells like Bella, what are you talking about?
Edward then skips to the piano, giggling to himself, and sits down to compose. An action he hasn’t done in years. He’s still grinning and giggling to himself, by the way. Alice joins him at the piano, being equally cryptic and weird as usual. For some reason, Rosalie leaves the room in complete humiliation and shame. This is never explained to anyone watching.
Esme is sitting in the room, taking this all in, and thinks nothing. Instead she smiles, at beautiful Edward, and asks him to play the song he composed for her. She’s so glad to see him filled with joy again. She tells him that he is the best and brightest of all of them.
Esme later gives Edward her pretty much express permission to eat Bella if the girl is causing him such pain and misery. Luckily for Bella, Edward’s in love. So he passes on that and assures Esme the most wonderful thing has happened, he is in love.
My point being, Edward could drop the corpses of the students he murdered in Biology so he could more efficiently eat Bella at Esme’s feet and she wouldn’t blink. It wouldn’t even process for her. Esme would continue carrying on as Esme, nothing changing, while the rest of the family stares agog at the city Edward just murdered.
There is nothing Edward could do or say that would ever change Esme’s mind and she will always treat him as her favorite child.
Jasper
With his gift, I imagine Jasper suspects. Edward loathes Rosalie, despises him, and his feelings for others are... strange. He holds indifference and contempt for mankind and when it comes to Bella. Woof, what a cocktail.
He has no proof though, but I imagine if the smallest thing comes into his lap, that suspicion would become a certainty.
As for what he’d do, it’s hard to say.
I think, in most scenarios, he’d look the other way. Yes, Edward is a monater, but Jasper to is a monster if for different reasons, he has no room to judge. More, Edward is in many respects the heart of the Cullens, far more than Japser himself is. If Jasper goes causing strife, making accusations the others may or may not believe, then the coven could collapse.
This place, these people, are what Jasper thinks he’s been searching for all his life. For the first time, he knows peace, and is trying to live a life where he doesn’t persist in agony every time he succumbs to eating. Jasper is not going to risk that falling apart, even if he finds Edward unpleasant.
And if Edward keeps it to himself, or if the occasional human is the victim, then that’s a price Jasper is willing to pay.
Jasper might actually get concerned when it comes to Bella. For all Bella’s not very close with him, he holds her in very high regard. He nearly devoured Bella, and she forgave him, she forgave him his monstrously brutal past and has never flinched from him. She is a reminder of what humanity can be and why it’s important.
If he realized the threat Edward is to Bella, not just in eating her, but on a level much darker than that, then he might start to act and would probably try to get Bella to leave while she could. However, he also likely knows Bella would never listen, because she doesn’t see what Edward is and nothing would convince her otherwise. Not to mention, as soon as Jasper knows, Edward will plot against him so that no one in the family will ever listen to a word he says.
Not to mention that Alice, of course, must know and doesn’t care. That will be quite the blow to Jasper taking any action.
Barring extreme circumstances, Jasper does nothing, he just watches and waits to see what the others do.
Rosalie
For all that Edward doesn’t bother to be nice to Rosalie, and is ready to lay into her at a moment’s notice, he’s very dear to her. He is, in all regards, her brother and she cares for him deeply as she does the family as a whole.
Rosalie has no idea what he truly is and it would take a lot for her to accept it. More, unlike Carlisle, although she prizes human values and tries to hold herself to human standards her morals have slipped enough that she genuinely advocates murdering Bella Swan in her sleep so that Rosalie won’t have to move.
Murdering Bella won’t be enough, Rosalie will see it as the accident that could have been avoided if Edward hadn’t insisted on being a fool. 
I think, for Rosalie, the best way to drive it home would be a sexual crime. Had Edward forced Bella’s abortion in Breaking Dawn, that would have done it. First, it’d be such a messy, bloody, affair at that point and would look like a horror show (which means Edward’s more than likely to eat Bella in the process). Second, this would be Edward taking the child that Bella wanted, tearing it from her and murdering it, and performing the most vile action that Rosalie can likely even contemplate.
I don’t know what she’d do, I don’t think Rosalie’s capable of killing Edward, she cares for him too much, even after something like this. However, I think she would make an ultimatum to Carlisle “either he goes or I go” and then would never speak of Edward again, he’s dead to her.
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stahlop · 3 years
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Ready to Run (2/?)
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I know it's been 84 years since I posted a new chapter. I am so sorry. Between birthdays, Secret Santa, January Joy, and Neverland New Year, I kind of over extended myself. I'm hoping to update this every two to three weeks now.
Thanks to @imlaxdris71 for continuing to be my beta for this story.
Prologue Ch.1
Read it on Ao3
“Belle.” He says to his boss and the head of the vlog site. “Come on. It’s an opinion piece. You can’t fire me for having an opinion.” 
“I left you four messages and a slew of texts, Killian.” Belle sighs as she pushes a piece of mousy brown hair that has escaped her barrette away from her face as she looks for something on her laptop.
“And that surprises you? I never answered your messages and texts when we dated either.” He looks over at Will who happens to be in the office as well, which is odd because Will doesn’t usually come to meetings between them. Will is usually never out of the editing room when they’re at the office.
“What’s your boyfriend doing here?” Killian asks grumpily. He’s perfectly fine with Belle dating his best friend. He gave Will his blessing when he asked Killian if he could date Belle after they’d broken up. There were no hard feelings between him and Belle; they just worked better as friends.
“Moral support.” Belle says, her eyes lighting up as she has apparently found what she is looking for.
“Since when do you need moral support, Belle?” Killian teases. Belle does not look amused.
“I’m here for you, you wanker!” Will says practically knocking Killian out of his chair.
“Aha!” She says as she pulls up whatever it was she was looking for. “First rule of journalism, Killian, regardless of whether it’s an opinion piece or not, if you make up your facts, you get fired.” She gives him a stern look, one he got very used to when they were dating. It was a wonder she’d never killed him.
“Second rule: never work for an ex.” He sighs. Belle’s face gets even more stern. Killian has never even seen this face before, and he thought he knew them all. She sighs again and clicks a button on her computer. Killian hears the printer spitting out a piece of paper behind her.
“That has nothing to do with it, Killian.” She says as she rolls her chair around to the printer and grabs what it was she printed out. “If you make something up you get fired.” She looks completely exasperated with him, another look he knows all too well. Killian sighs this time.
“I didn’t make up anything, I had a source.” Belle knows him too well to think he would just make something up, so he’s really confused as to where this whole tongue-lashing is coming from.
“Someone reliable?” She questions raising her eyebrow at him. “Or someone in Liam’s bar?” Oh, he knows her way too well.
“Hey, hey, hey. Don't knock drunk guys in bars. It means they're not driving.” Will laughs at his joke. Killian puts out one arm toward Will and then looks back at Belle as if to say ‘See?’, but she’s still not amused by him. “Besides, l am an opinion vlogger. This is what opinion vloggers are supposed to do.” Killian is slightly agitated that Belle is making him defend himself over this. Usually, he just gets a talking to and that’s that. “It's what you like. We push, we stretch, we go out on a limb. That's what makes me good!”
“No, it’s what makes you fired.” Belle fires back. Killian’s had enough of this.
“What the hell, Belle?” Will laughs again from behind him. So much for support.
“Emma Swan has written a grievance against you and asked you to be fired or she will sue us for slander.” Belle says with finality. Killian’s eyes go wide with shock. Maybe he shouldn’t be getting his ideas from drunk guys in bars. And now that he thinks about it, he really shouldn’t have used her name. Will comes up behind him and rests his hands on Killian’s shoulders in a comforting way. 
“Please Belle, this is my life we’re talking about.” He says, no longer feeling cocky about all this. The wind has been blown out of his sails, so to speak.
“If you go quietly, I’ll see about getting you severance pay.” She says not looking at him in the eyes and handing him the paper she had printed out. He opens it to see the email that Emma Swan had sent about him and he realizes this is real. Just yesterday he was envisioning winning awards for this piece and now he doesn’t have a job.
“Come on mate.” Will says helping him out of the chair and wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “I’ll walk you to your desk so you can collect your things and escort you out.” They begin to walk out of Belle’s office.
“I can do it myself.” He says rather angrily. He instantly regrets it. It’s not Will’s fault he’s in this mess. 
“Well, actually, I do. I have to physically make sure you leave the building.” Will says a little embarrassed. 
“Of course.” Killian replies back. This was not how he foresaw his day going at all. Will has ceremoniously provided him with a small box to put everything in. He gathers up a picture of himself and Liam from when they were stationed together on the same ship, both looking pristine in their uniforms. He picks up the picture of Belle, Will, and himself, back when they were all just a bunch of single friends, before dating complications. A picture of himself graduating from college goes into the box, as well as other knicknacks he’s collected over the years. He leaves all the notebooks and writing utensils, he has enough of those at home.
Will stays silent through all this until the elevator doors close behind them.
“I have an idea that will get your job back.” Will says still facing the elevator door and not actually facing Killian. 
“What?” Killian says, confused. “What are you saying?”
“Revenge.” Will says now facing him with a slightly evil smile on his face. He and Will have been friends for a long time, and this is the first time Killian has ever seen this creepy smile grace his face. “How would you like some? A chance to prove that although your story wasn't entirely factual, your theory was correct.”
“The real story on Miss Swan.” Killian interrupts.
 “All the gory details.” Will’s actually rubbing his hands together like a movie villain. Killian raises an eyebrow. This is a side of Will he’s never seen before. For all the trouble they got into as young men, he’s never been blatantly evil about it. But he would like to get his job back. “And if she runs again, even better.” Will shrugs as the elevator bell pings that they’ve reached the ground level and the doors open up to the lobby. 
Will waves goodbye before the elevator doors close back up on him and Killian is left to ponder what Will has said. “Bloody hell.” He whispers to himself and immediately shifts his box to one side and grabs his phone from his pocket. He scrolls to find a car rental place and places the call as he walks outside of his former employer’s building. 
“Yes, I’d like to rent a car for next month.”
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After Henry had been born, Emma Swan had vowed to protect her heart and his heart from any further heartbreak. Having grown up in the foster system, it wasn’t that hard. She’d felt she hadn’t been loved from a very young age, and even though her parents had eventually gotten her back at the age of 10 (they’d been 16 when they had her and thought they’d been giving her her best chance by putting her up for adoption), she still had those trust issues. Neal did nothing to help those issues, and even after he’d gotten out of jail five years later, he was barely there for Henry, despite only living a few neighboring towns over. 
The problem though, was that Emma’s parents were the perfect fairy tale couple (despite the less than fairy tale teen pregnancy and adoption). They had met as children, the mayor’s stepdaughter and the farmer’s son. Her mother, Mary Margaret, and her father, David, had not hit it off at all. They fought like cats and dogs (David even had a scar on his chin from one such fight in which Mary Margaret threw a rock at him). It had eventually all come down to some school dance where they were forced to dance together as the dance’s king and queen, and they had never been apart since. They had married after college and established their careers, and when they had discovered they were pregnant with her little brother, Leo, they decided they wanted their whole family back together. Or at least, have contact with Emma if she’d found herself a loving home already. It took them a few years to find her, and it took Emma a few years to really trust them. After all, they had been the reason she’d been in foster care in the first place. And having a three-year-old brother practically right when she came to live with them sent those trust issues spiraling, as she’d been given up by the Swan family at the age of three when they’d conceived their own child. That was why she’d fallen for Neal so hard and fast. Her parents seemed like true love, and she’d wanted that too. But obviously it didn’t work out as well for her.
And sure, she’d tried finding another guy who could love both herself and Henry unconditionally, but something had always pulled at her gut right as she was walking down the aisle that made her run. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she didn’t want to regret marrying someone, even if she’d been pretty sure right until she walked down the aisle. 
And that’s why Graham was perfect. He knew her. He was under no pretensions about her past. He was currently the town sheriff, but before that he’d been one of the local deputies that helped the FBI take Neal down at her first wedding (the fact that she can think first wedding when she’s never actually been married is still something that wars in her mind). They’d been friends for a long time, he being only three years older than her. And it was after her aborted marriage to Walsh that he finally made his feelings known. Henry already loved him, thought of him as a father figure, and that’s all that mattered. And here they were, a year later, getting ready to get married. 
And she was going through with it this time.
“Graham! Graham!” She runs into the sheriff’s station high off the email she’s just received. “They canned him!” She says excitedly, shoving her phone in his face.
“I’m glad you’re here, Emma.” Graham says, dark blonde hair flopping in his face as he gives her a big ‘luckiest man in the world’ smile. “Try this on.” He hands her a large hiking backpack that he has at the station for some reason.
“Listen.” Emma says, absentmindedly putting her arms through the large pack’s straps as she reads. "Dear Ms. Swan, I apologize to you for this unfortunate matter.  Killian Jones’ vlog will no longer be appearing on our site. Best of luck in your upcoming marriage! Belle French.” She closes her phone and looks at Graham who is now beside her but still holding the pack up, which feels really heavy.
“That’s my girl!” He grins at her, then his face becomes serious. “Now this is the weight of the pack you’ll be wearing on the Inca Trail.” Graham has always wanted to go hiking on the Inca Trail and see Machu Picchu. It’s not really something Emma has ever thought about doing, but it makes Graham happy. It was definitely a better idea than Walsh’s honeymoon plans, which involved seeing different monkey species in their natural habitats all throughout the US. Or August who wanted to go to New York Fashion week and try to crash the runway shows. And then she’s suddenly falling backwards as Graham’s strong hands move away from the pack and the sheer weight of it pulls her down to the ground.
“Um, I think it’s a little heavy, hon. Can you help me up, please?” But instead of helping her up he kneels down and starts peppering her with kisses. She squeals in delight as they start making out on the sheriff’s office floor. Hopefully, no one will come in and interrupt them.
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Emma is hanging out at Hairandelle, Elsa’s hair salon, while Henry is visiting with his Uncle Leo, when she sees the black Chevelle convertible drive through the center of town. It’s a weekend, so they do tend to get tourists, especially with the beautiful fall foliage that has started appearing on the trees. Elsa raises an eyebrow toward her. She knows how much Emma loves cars. She’d restored her yellow Beetle all by herself, the only other thing Neal had left her with besides Henry. And the Chevelle is beautiful. Emma is tempted to go outside and take a look, has actually opened the door when the driver (who she’d only been able to see from the back until now) gets out of the car, parked in front of the local B&B. He looks slightly familiar to Emma, and then he takes off his aviator sunglasses and Emma’s temper flares!
“I can’t believe him!” She yells as she slams the door behind her, the bell jangling all over the place. Elsa’s expression changes quickly from the knowing smile she’d been displaying previously to one of confusion.
“Can’t believe who?” Elsa asks.
“Killian fucking Jones!” She points out the window at the Chevelle. Emma doesn’t think she’s ever seen Elsa sprint from her seat so fast as she pushes past her to get a glimpse of the man in the flesh. They both stare at him over copies of fashion and hair magazines.
“What the hell is he doing here?” Emma asks, a little panicked. She can’t imagine it’s for anything good, not after getting him fired from his job.
“Maybe he’s here to apologize?” Elsa says. Emma looks at her as if she’s suddenly turned into a snowman. 
“Doubtful.” She looks back over at him from behind the magazine and he turns toward them at that exact moment. He looks the same as he did on that awful vlog that he spoke on. Dark hair that was styled to look like he just rolled out of bed. Scruff on his chin that made Emma think things she really shouldn’t. Graham had the same type of scruff, he probably just makes her think of him. He’s talking to Leroy, the town gossip, and the grumpiest man she’s ever met (who likes to spend a lot of time in her jail cells after a night of drinking). He points straight toward them and then, they make eye contact. She squeaks and moves her magazine back up over her face. “Oh, god! Did he just see me?” She can feel her entire face flushing.
Elsa laughs. “He doesn’t know what you look like, remember?” She says patting her shoulder. But Killian Jones is now heading straight for them, and Emma is pretty sure Leroy just pointed her out to him.
“Shit!” Emma says as he continues toward the hair salon, a swagger in his step. She quickly jumps into one of the large bubble hair dryer stations, stuffs her hair up into the cap, flicks the machine on, crosses her legs, and puts the magazine up in front of her face just as the bell on the door starts jangling again.
“Hello.” Killian Jones says looking at Elsa intently, probably trying to figure out if she is the woman whose life he tried to ruin. “I’m looking for Emma Swan. Leroy over at the B&B said she was over here.” Emma wonders if Elsa would pretend to be her so she can make her escape. Elsa just gives him her patented eyebrow raise before asking him, “Are you a reporter?” like she doesn’t already know the answer. Emma smiles behind the magazine. Elsa’s going to mess with him. He’ll never know what hit him.
Killian Jones, to his credit, looks a bit taken aback that Elsa just straight up asked him if he was a reporter.
“What?” He seems to be trying to play it off as confusion instead of shock at being called out.
“It’s just that it’s been the most recent experience in our town that anyone asking about Emma happens to be a reporter wanting to interview her.” Elsa goes back to her style station and starts picking up various pairs of scissors, inspecting each pair.
“Because of her upcoming wedding?” Killian Jones offers.
“Oh, no.” Elsa says, turning back toward him brandishing a particularly sharp pair of scissors. “Because she got that asshole vlogger fired.” Killian Jones gives a nervous smile. Emma suppresses a giggle from behind her magazine and pretends to continue to be engrossed in the correct hairstyles for your face shape.
“I am just such a reporter.” He says sticking out his hand to shake Elsa’s. “And who might you be?”
“Elsa Frost. Yes, I get the Frozen jokes all the time.” She says never wiping the smile off her face. “And you are?” 
“Looking for Emma.” Killian Jones says flashing a brilliant smile at Elsa.
“Of course. Emma -- Someone to see you.” Elsa yells directly at her. Killian turns to look at the only other person in the salon, herself, and Emma can’t bring herself to drop the magazine from her face quite yet. She should have known Elsa wouldn’t be subtle. It was not her style.
“Emma?” Killian asks, stopping right in front of her. Well, this couldn’t be more embarrassing.
Emma slowly puts the magazine down and gives Killian Jones her brightest smile, as if seeing that she isn’t affected by him will make him change his mind and leave. She remembers at the last moment that she has the bubble hair dryer over her head and manages to flip it up and not bump her head on it. She doesn’t need to completely mortify herself quite yet.
“I really don’t know how much more you can say, sir.” She will not give away the fact that she knows who he is. He thinks he’s playing it cool, but the fact that he’s a vlogger doesn’t hide who he is in the least. Which gives Emma an idea.
“Hey Elsa!” Emma yells out. Elsa comes back around toward them, her blonde braid swishing behind her. As planned, Killian looks at her as she comes around and Emma mimes cutting his hair behind him. Emma quickly puts her hands back to her sides when he looks back at her. “Do you think I should give this reporter the inside scoop on my wedding?” God she hopes he takes the bait. He looks back at Elsa expectantly.
“I think…” Elsa taps her fingers along her cheek, “no one interviews Emma in here without a haircut.” Her face is full of mirth, but her voice is serious as hell.
Killian’s eyes go wide. “Sorry, ladies, just had one.” He then runs his fingers through his hair as if to prove his point.
“Well,” Emma has another idea that she thinks they’d be able to pull off. “what about a nice hot towel for your face? Get all that city dirt out of your pores?” She gives him a wide smile. “I promise I’ll answer your questions.” Killian looks at her questioningly, but then decides to take the win. He gives a smirk and sits down in the chair.
“So, when’s the big day?” He asks while Emma puts the cape over him. Elsa props him back in the chair so he’s in a lying position.
“A week from Saturday.” Emma says in an upbeat voice. She sounds like one of those peppy cheerleaders she always hated in high school. 
“Church wedding?” He asks with an amused look on his face.
“No. I’m not a church person.” Emma laughs at the notion. “We’re doing an outdoor ceremony in the woods at Graham’s cabin.”
“Sir.” Elsa interrupts. “I’m just going to put some lotion on your face, just to make it smoother. Your face will feel so nice once the hot towels are added.” She turns to grab what she needs and smothers a laugh that bursts out with a cough.
“Gum.” Emma explains. “She’s always choking on her gum.”
“So, Miss Swan. Are you nervous for your upcoming nuptials?” He asks, ignoring Elsa’s outburst altogether. 
“No, but I have been having these bizarre dreams…” And Emma makes up a whole slew of bizarre wedding dreams including all her past grooms walking her down the aisle and looking down to find herself in a red, leather wedding gown.
“What do you think all that means?” She asks him as Elsa removes the hot towel from his face and puts him back up into a seated position.
“I’m not really quite sure,” he begins and puts his hand to his chin as if he’s truly thinking about her dilemma, but stops short when he realizes his scruff is no longer there. His eyes grow wide as he jumps up from the chair and turns toward the mirror.
“Smooth as a baby’s bottom.” Elsa says giving Emma a high-five. Killian doesn’t respond but stalks out of the salon instead. Emma follows him. She’s not done messing with him yet.
“Mr. Jones,” she says as she opens the salon door and rests against it while still open. “I hope you realize what a mistake it was in coming here. I’m not some simpering little girl that you can tell lies about and bully to make yourself feel good. You can’t make me feel bad.” She tries to sound casual about it and leaves her arms resting at her sides, even though every instinct in her body makes her want to cross her arms over her chest. But this guy knows body language. She could tell from the way he carried himself in his vlog. Crossing her arms makes her look mad and angry and she can’t give him that.
“I’m not here to make you look bad, Miss. Swan.” He scrubs his hands over his face in frustration. “But apparently you want to make me look bad.” He says as he rubs his now bare chin. He looks like a totally different person without his scruff. Younger, more innocent. “What I’m here for is revenge.” Killian gets up close to her. Too close for comfort. She can smell the chemicals from the hair removal product they used to rid him of his beard. But she can also see his blue eyes and while Graham’s eyes are also blue, Killian Jones eyes are a blue all unto themselves. Emma can see why women find him attractive. “In my heart I feel I’m right about you and I’m going to prove it. You got me fired, Swan. That’s not something I take lightly. You chew men up and spit them out. You’re going to do to this poor wanker what you did to your other three grooms. Run.” His eyes are practically black now. Emma can tell he’s getting off on this ‘dressing down’ of her, but she keeps the smile pasted on her face because she can’t let him see that he’s getting to her, no matter how off his theory about her may be. “You are going to run again, and I’m not leaving here until you do.” Emma almost expects him to jab a finger into her chest, but instead, he backs off and gives her a grin as if he won that round.
“You know Mr. Jones, I’d love to stay and discuss my psyche or whatever it is you think is my motivation for being a multiple time runaway bride, but unlike you, I actually have a job, one I need to prepare for. Goodbye.” She turns and walks off, resisting the urge to look back at him. She won’t give him the satisfaction.
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REPENT, The End is Near!
By Lynda Janzen    Published on: May 9, 2021
“Jesus said, ‘But unless you repent, you too will all perish'” (Luke 13:5, NIV).
“If My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land” (2 Chronicles 7:14, NIV).
“Devote yourselves to prayer…” (Colossians 4:2). “Pray continually” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). “The end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of sober mind that you may pray” (1 Peter 4:7).
A few years ago, I gave myself a nickname: Mrs. Jeremiah. It has nothing to do with Rev. Dr. David Jeremiah but everything to do with the Old Testament prophet. When the LORD led me to Bible Prophecy and opened my eyes to what was happening in the world, in light of both O.T. and N.T. prophecy, some of my messages, as Jeremiah’s, weren’t exactly comfortable for people, or for me either. Jeremiah wasn’t exactly popular in his day, and this message today probably won’t win me any popularity contests. But these messages open our eyes to see what is happening in the world so that we will not be caught in the darkness of ignorance of the signs of the times (1 Thess. 5:4).
In the Olivet Discourse (Matthew 24), Jesus prophesied that when the nation of Israel – the fig tree – would blossom once more, it would be a sign that the end was coming near (24:32). Israel roared back into existence on May 14, 1948 – 73 years ago. Psalm 90 tells us a human lifespan is about 70 years – 80 if we are blessed with stamina. Jesus said the generation that saw the re-budding of the ‘fig tree,’ or Israel, would witness all the prophecy of Matthew 24 (24:34). According to God’s Word, then, that would be us!
Let me just pause here to say, if you haven’t read Matthew 24, Mark 13, and Luke 21 lately, go immediately to a Bible near you and do so.
Earlier this week, I had a dream. “Oh boy!! An old woman dreaming dreams … here we go …” Please, just bear with me. Before dropping off to sleep, I had asked the LORD that, if it be His will, to send me a dream about the Rapture and to let me remember it. Well, He did send me a dream, and I remembered it in great detail. And although I’m not prepared to go into all the details of the dream at this time, let me say it sure shook me up and got me thinking about how very close we are to the end of the age. Not that I didn’t have an inkling about the imminence of the Rapture and tribulation before. But, in the vernacular – Hold onto your hats, folks!
The dream illustrated how our modern nations, especially the U.S., are barreling headlong toward destruction. Nations seem to follow, blindly, a minority of political influencers, while the majority sit back meekly doing nothing, saying nothing, or saying very little. We watch as all our time-honored institutions are crumbling before our eyes. Like deer caught in headlights, it is as though we are mesmerized by the audacity of those taking us increasingly to the left, politically. Young people, who aren’t being taught Judeo-Christian values, are screaming for change without understanding where those changes will lead.
And, of course, there are plenty of seasoned politicians who have been trying for years to pull us away from God and all things moral and life-giving, and who are ready to fuel the rebellion with money, encouragement and a platform.
While those of us who are Bible-literate understand what’s happening, there are many who do not.
They surely do not understand that it is all part of God’s Plan for the end of the age … and here’s the kicker … and you’re not going to like this … THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT ANYMORE! Oh, yes, you can pray … and, indeed, I urge you to pray with all your heart for the many who are not saved.
But Christians, please be ready. For the Church Age is coming rapidly to a close, and it is all happening in God’s Will, and God’s Timeline.
The hymn is: IF MY PEOPLE’S HEARTS ARE HUMBLED
1st Verse:
If My people’s hearts are humbled, If they pray and seek My face; If they turn away from evil, I will not withhold My grace. I will hear their prayers from heaven; I will pardon every sin. If My people’s hearts are humbled, I will surely heal their land.
2nd Verse:
Then My eyes will see their sorrow; Then My ears will hear their plea. If My people’s hearts are humbled I will set their nation free. If My people’s hearts are humbled, If they pray and seek My face; If they turn away from evil, I will not withhold My grace.
THE SCRIPTURE READING IS JEREMIAH 14:11-16
“Then the Lord said to me, ‘Do not pray for the well-being of this people. Although they fast, I will not listen to their cry; though they offer burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Instead, I will destroy them with the sword, famine and plague.’
“But I said, ‘Alas, Sovereign Lord! The prophets keep telling them, ‘You will not see the sword or suffer famine. Indeed, I will give you lasting peace in this place.’
“Then the Lord said to me, ‘The prophets are prophesying lies in my name. I have not sent them or appointed them or spoken to them. They are prophesying to you false visions, divinations, idolatries and the delusions of their own minds. Therefore this is what the Lord says about the prophets who are prophesying in my name: I did not send them, yet they are saying, ‘No sword or famine will touch this land.’ Those same prophets will perish by sword and famine. And the people they are prophesying to will be thrown out into the streets of Jerusalem because of the famine and sword. There will be no one to bury them, their wives, their sons and their daughters. I will pour out on them the calamity they deserve.”
Let us bow to Almighty God in prayer:
Dearest Heavenly Father,
Your Word in the Book of Jeremiah tells us of a time when You had had enough of wickedness in the land of Judah. Though people sacrificed to You and prayed for You to relent in Your wrath, You knew that only total destruction would be the catalyst to bring them back to You. Father, we are at a time now where, according to Your Holy Word, it looks as though there is no turning back. Our nations are wicked, through and through. They practice the black arts of abortion and sexual depravity. Our scientists are meddling with Your original design, trying to improve on it! Their hubris, LORD God, is beyond imagining.
LORD, today we pray for those who are genuinely Yours, who have surrendered their lives to Jesus, that we will trust in You, in Your promises to protect us and keep us from the Evil One. We pray also for any who might be on the cusp of coming to You, that they will see Your Light of Life and Love very soon and surrender their lives to Jesus Christ. And we pray, Father, that those who are blind to Your holiness and even to Your existence will have a chance to call on Your Name, and so be saved. These things we pray in the sure, strong and Holy Name of Yeshua Ha’Maschiach. Amen.
By God’s own Word, we know there was a beginning to this age, and there is an end, planned by the LORD God Himself, and over which we have no control whatever. Jesus taught us to pray, “Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.” Even the Son of God, Himself, prayed that very prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane the night before He died on the cross. “Father, if You are willing, take this cup from Me, yet not My will, but Yours be done.” If we haven’t yet learned this principle in our Christian walk, we need to do so, and do it NOW.
This world is not about us, beloved Christians. It is about God’s glory in His creation. We are His creation, made to reflect back to Him His glory. Jesus did that, and He did it every day of His earthly life. Though Jesus was fully God, He was also fully man. His humanity was not less than our own. Jesus laughed, cried, celebrated, mourned, ate, slept and did all the things human beings do. He knew pain. He knew sorrow. He knew joy and laughter. But all of His life He gave to the Father and did nothing outside of the Will of Almighty God.
So, saying all that, how does it fit with our Scripture verses from Jeremiah?
Well, for one thing, the people of Judah in Jeremiah’s day certainly were NOT living in the Will of the Creator. In the space of just a handful of generations away from King David, the Jews (as well as the Israelites) had turned away from Almighty God, had lusted after pagan gods and their detestable practices. And let me just say here that this present generation, with all science’s monkeying around with the human genome, has likely far surpassed the evil done in Jeremiah’s generation … the evil which brought down God’s wrath on the nations of Judah and Israel.
Many in the Church cite the 2 Chronicles prayer as being a means of saving our nations. I hear pastors invite their congregations to say it with the expectation that God stands ready to hear it and, PRESTO, make all things the way they were. Really? What about the “humble hearts” part? If every person in the world, every man, woman and child, called upon the Name of the LORD, and humbled him- or herself before Him, and turned from their wickedness, I strongly suspect our world would indeed be healed by God’s hand. But I also strongly suspect that the LORD God knew there would be a tipping point, beyond which there was (is) no going back.
The tipping point in Jeremiah’s day was the deceit of the prophets. Jeremiah tells the LORD, “The prophets keep telling them they will not see the sword or suffer famine, and that You, LORD, are going to give them peace in the land.” But the LORD God says, “The prophets are prophesying lies in My Name. I have not sent them or appointed them or spoken to them. They are prophesying to you false visions, divination, idolatries, and the delusions of their own minds.”
Let’s bring that to the present age. One thing we keep hearing constantly these days is, “Fake News!” There is little doubt that politicians lie with straight faces to the cameras and to our faces. They call evil for good and good for evil (Isaiah 5:20). They tell us a global pandemic is so dangerous that we must ruin our national economies to deal with it. There is so much deceit in our world today that it has become almost impossible to know what is real and what isn’t.
False visions are leading us away from the One Source of love and protection human beings have ever had – God! Western nations are worshiping at the altars of demons and false gods once again. For heaven’s sake, there is a sneaker for sale that celebrates Satan and even contains a drop of real human blood!! Really.
Divinations? Well, daily newspapers have been running horoscope columns for almost a century. But much more than that, today we have ‘prognosticators’ of everything under the sun, from weathermen to stockbrokers, even to medical people. So-called ‘experts’ in every field sway your brain daily to buy stuff you don’t need and adopt habits that are bad for your soul. This is done through non-stop advertising.
Idolatries? How about the worship of sports figures and Hollywood ‘stars’? Kids today know way more about movie and sports stars than they do about Jesus Christ. “God? Oh yeah … the sky fairy who grants all your wishes – NOT!” (That was a real post I read on a news website not long ago.)
Delusions of their own minds? How about this one? “There are 382 genders!” or “A man can give birth.” or “Love is love no matter who it is with.”
And what does the LORD God have to say about all this depravity? “I will pour out on them the calamity they deserve.”
Now, this is Old Testament. Jesus went to the cross so that we wouldn’t end up with the calamity we deserve … BUT ONLY IF WE REPENT, TURN FROM OUR INIQUITY, AND LIVE THE REST OF OUR LIVES FOR AND IN HIM. What percentage of the world’s people have actually done this?
Can the LORD bring revival at this late date? Of course. The question is: How many would turn to Him? A few million? There are seven, almost eight billion people on the planet today. Believers, we are way past the tipping point. It is a great tribute to Our God that His patience hasn’t run out yet. As Apostle Peter says, “People will say, ‘Where is this coming He promised? Ever since our ancestors died, everything goes on as it has since the beginning of creation.'”
“But do not forget this one thing, dearest friends: With the LORD a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years are like a day. The LORD is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. But the day of the LORD will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare” (2 Peter 3:4, 8-10)
There is an end, my friends. I don’t write this to scare you but to make you see that it is inevitable and that you have no control over it. It is the LORD God’s domain. Therefore, trust in Him. Do His Will. Love Him, and keep His commands, and there will never ever be a need to fear anything. Jesus has said, “Since you have kept My command to endure patiently, I will also keep you from the hour of trial that is going to come on the whole world to test the inhabitants of the earth” (Revelation 3:10).
Repent! The end IS near! Hallelujah, Amen.
Heavenly Father: All glory and praise to You for loving us so much that You sent Your One and Only Son to earth to redeem us from original sin, open the gates of eternal life, and restore all things. Please open hearts and minds today, Father, to the urgency of claiming Christ as our Saviour. This we pray through Him, Yeshua Ha’Maschiach, our LORD Jesus Christ. Amen.
This devotional, based on God’s Holy Word, was written by Lynda Janzen, Kincardine, ON Canada, with the inspiration of God’s own Holy Spirit. All glory to God.
If anyone reading this email has not yet received Jesus as their Saviour, but God has touched your heart by His Holy Word, please email me ([email protected]) or find a Bible-believing local church and ask the Pastor what you must do to be saved in Grace. In the meantime, please consider the ABCs of Salvation:
Salvation as simple as ABC:
A: Admit that you are a sinner. This is where Godly sorrow leads to genuine repentance for sinning against a righteous God, and there is a change of heart; we change our mind, and God changes our hearts and regenerates us from the inside out.
Romans 3:10 – “As it is written: ‘There is no one righteous, not even one.'”
Romans 3:23 – “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”
Romans 6:23 – “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Ephesians 2:8-9 – “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith —and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.”
B: Believe in your heart that Jesus Christ died for your sins, was buried, and that God raised Jesus from the dead. This is trusting with all of your heart that Jesus Christ is who he said he was.
Romans 10:9-10 – “That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.”
John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
C: Call upon the name of the Lord. Every single person who ever lived since Adam will bend their knee and confess with their mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord, the Lord of lords and the King of kings.
Romans 14:11 – “It is written: ‘As surely as I live, says the Lord, every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.'”
Romans 10:13 – “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
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Limerence [M] ︳23
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Pairing: Zuko x OC
AU: Adult-Verse
Genre: Romance, mainly fluff with smut, and if you squint hard enough - you’ll find some angst.
Rating: SFW
Words: 6900+
Notes: Thanks for the love I got revolving the smut last week, a lot of people enjoyed it which makes me happy and I see myself writing it more often in the future! Thanks for reading everyone, and enjoy <3
Masterlist ︳22 [M] ︳24
❤ Buy me a coffee? ❤
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Limerence: (English/n.) the state of being infatuated with another person.
The moment their eyes locked they knew - the flames within him twisted while the water within her turned. It was a connection, a connection that would lead to love, adventure, and drama.
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Agathokakological
(Greek/adj.) composed of both good and evil.
~ Ying Yue Jiang ~
            “Zuko stop it~!” I cried out between endless fits of giggles, trying my hardest to shove his overbearing frame off me. But my cries of protests fell upon deaf ears, as he snuggled his head deeper into my neck, butterfly kisses placed all over my skin. The setting sun cast a heavenly hue over his body; his black hair flaming as shades of reds and yellows bounced off him.
            His locks fell over my face, in turn causing me to pout, his lush hair getting caught between my lips. “Z-Zuko, get off!” I laughed, but my arms were too tired at this point to bother trying to shove him off. The way his chuckles mixed with my giggles, like a fairy-tale harmony. His laughter reminded me of Kiyi’s, innocent and carefree – music.
            My arms fell to my side, resting against the fluffy blankets of the bed. I wasn’t expecting on being caught taking an evening nap, let alone be awoken by the one and only Zuko. But getting woken up by snuggles wasn’t necessarily a terrible way to wake up and instead fed into my ever-growing wanting to spend every moment with Zuko – my ultimate vice.
            Zuko’s head rose, running his hand through his hair, and pushing it back. The vanilla smile that painted his face as he looked over me, his free hand carefully stroking my face. A smile of my own slowly starting to emerge as I looked up at him with appreciation, but it was then I noticed – his eyes.
            His amber coloured eyes were muted, dull in comparison to his usual lively and illuminating twinkle that always managed to shine through. Was he tired? No – this is something else. His thoughts ran rampant, clouding his perspective as he watched over me. He was anxious, worried about tonight – nervous about my walk with Kayto.
            A soft sigh escaped me, my hands instinctively cupping his face as I traced my thumbs over his lips, “I’ll be fine Zuko, Toph will be with me…I won’t be alone.” I muttered, my eyes half-lidded, as I spoke. Zuko huffed, his forehead hitting mine as he held my hands close to his lips. “There has to be another way…”
            I knew what he meant by that – referring to the plan Sokka had thought of during our time in the hot springs. So much for relaxing in the hot springs last night…
            The plan was sweet and simple.
            Zuko postponed the meetings with the Earth Nation for this evening. I go on a walk with Kayto, forcing him out of said meetings, which leaves the gang a short window of time to get the Earth King alone and make him sign the damn documents. Toph will stay back to watch over Kayto and I, should Kayto try anything funny. A fool-proof plan for the most part. But the look of uncertain in Zuko’s eyes was apparent; his lips turned upside down.
            The detestation and distaste Zuko held against Kayto was next level, and I couldn’t help but be caught off guard as even Aang didn’t seem too fond of Kayto either – the only person I knew who couldn’t hate another human being for the life of him. My eyes shifted back to the window, watching the way the sun was starting to hide behind the outer edge of the mountain range. “We should probably get going…the gang are probably on their way now.”
            Zuko sighed, “Please…be careful.”
            “I promise. Now let’s get those papers signed, alright?” I beamed, placing a quick peck upon his lips as Zuko sat up. As Zuko’s head bobbed upwards, I couldn’t help but let a small giggle. His hair was a giant mess; his usual pin straight hair creased from wearing it in a bun all day.
            Oh, Zuko – the only man I knew who could be both adorable and seductive at the same time.
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            I rolled my eyes hearing Zuko whine underneath me, walking with his knees bent as I placed the last pin in his hair, “You’re hurting me, woman!” He hissed, and in response, I purposely tugged at his hair a bit more than needed. Another growl vented from him, and I couldn’t help but giggle, “Are you always such a crybaby?”
            “Kind of hard not to complain when you’re fucking pulling my hair out of my head!” I patted his head, signalling to stand up normal as we walked down the hallway, grinning as I heard him mutter curses under his breath. For someone ‘tough’ he sure knew how to complain. I bumped my hip against him, watching him roll his eyes but regardless wrap his arm around me.
            Zuko faced me, flicking my forehead with a playful scowl on his face, “I swear next time I’ll pull your hair and see how it feels.”
            “Oh, you wouldn’t dare hurt me – I’m too adorable.” I playfully spoke, sticking my tongue out towards him. “Try me.” He whistled, leaning in swiftly and light-heartedly, biting my ear, “Zuko~!” I shrieked, amused at the way he tried to ‘attack’ me, acting like an absolute child at the moment. During my fit of laughter, my eyes looked forward, my steps slowing as I gently pushed him away, “Zuko…” I gasped.
            A set of grand doors were in front of us - the grand meeting hall. But it wasn’t the doors that caught my attention, no, it was the gang. They were huddled together, whispering harshly to each other, frowns on their faces. Somethings wrong.
            “What’s wrong…” Zuko muttered, his expression no longer playful as he gazed at me. Suki and Aang made eye contact with me; their brows pinched together as they looked over at Zuko and I. “Look.” I spoke, gesturing in front of us. In an instance, Zuko’s eyes narrowed, a small huff escaping him as he scratched his neck.
            “They look upset…” I muttered under my breath, my fingers twirling with each other as I studied their faces. Not even Sokka was smiling. Zuko sighed, “Maybe they got some good news?”
            “Oh yeah, when I get good news I frown like that too.”
            “Well, aren’t you an optimist…” Zuko grumbled.
            Suki’s hand rose, waving at us slowly. “Let’s find out what’s up,” Zuko muttered under his breath before we eagerly rushed forward. I smiled softly, waving at them as I looked around. It was just us here; we’re early, the King isn’t here yet.
            “What’s wrong?” Zuko blurted, not bothering to say hi. Aang cautiously looked over at Sokka, “Uh…”
            I raised a brow, what’s going on with them? They all looked at one another, neither one wanting to speak first. Sokka nudged Aang, giving him wide eyes, signalling for him to say something, “Umm, so-uh” Aang blubbered. Not a single logical word escaping him. Zuko groaned, losing his patience, “What’s that’s suppose to mean?” Zuko groused.
            “I’ll say it because no one here has the fucking balls too.” Toph shouted, stomping her feet onto the ground with crossed arms, “Princess is going on her walk alone with Kayto. The Earth King requested me to sit in the meeting with Suki.” My eyes widen; Zuko is going to-
            “Out of the fucking question.”
            Toph groaned to herself, her bangs swaying upwards as she let out an exhausted sigh. This was not how we expected the plan to go. “Well we don’t have much choice you royal pain in the ass – they’re on their way now.”
            “We do have a choice, and it’s we abort the plan. We agreed that you’d watch over Yue just in case.” Zuko shot back, pinching his nose in irritation. Aang anxiously tossed his staff between his hands, as Suki and Sokka gazed at each other, trying to think of a possible solution.
            “Princess can handle herself Zuko – we all know that. I say we go forward.”
            “I’m not taking the chance Toph.”
            “Shit Zuko – Princess can handle herself you damn bone head!” Toph shouted. I pouted as I watched the way Zuko and Toph bickered. Both of their faces red as they quarrelled. “Maybe we can send a Kyoshi warrior with Yue…?” Aang suggested, but Suki shook her head, “It’ll look like we’re plotting against Kayto. I can’t risk that.”
            I anxiously bit my lip, their words going over my head as they argued. With Toph gone, that would leave me alone with Kayto. Toph was supposed to be my safety net should anything fishy happen, but with her gone I would have no backup plan…
            Damnit, why can’t things work in our favour for once?
            I huffed; I can’t let this opportunity slid. This may be the only chance we get to sign those papers. If I don’t do this-
            I placed my hands over Zuko’s arms, cutting off their conversation as I let my fingers intertwine with his. The gang held their breath, and with a soft sigh, I looked at Zuko. He grasped my hands, his warmth giving me an immediate sense of comfort and safety. Zuko already held a frown on his face; he knew what I was going to say.
            “I can do this.”
            “Love-” Zuko warned.
            “Do you trust me?”
            “If anything happens, we’ll be stuck in the damn meeting, nowhere close to you…”
            “Trust me,” I whispered harshly. The look on his face, the way he bit his tongue before he finally released a substantial sigh. Zuko pressed his forehead against mine, worry written on his face, “…You haven’t started training yet; you aren’t even fully healed…”
            Toph puffed once more, cutting off Zuko as she groaned stridently once again, “She’ll be fine, Princess can kick ass. If I remember right, she did have you stuck behind an ice wall and carried a damn waterfall on her back.”
            I couldn’t stop the sheepish grin that painted my face as I looked at Zuko, his eyes rolling as he grumbled underneath his breath. He pulled away, glaring, but he seemed relaxed, not as anxious as before. He needed to hear me say it - say that’ll be okay and I can do this.
            “How long do you think we have?” Aang muttered as his gaze fell upon me. His face appeared neutral, but the way he gripped his staff, arms tense. “Probably an hour,” Suki spoke.
            “Will an hour be enough? What if it isn’t? We’d be putting Yue at risk for no reason.” Sokka shook his head, “It’ll work. The Earth King is on our side, and with Kayto gone, this is our chance.”
            “We may have longer if Princess works her magic. An hour or more.”
            My fingers anxiously tapped against Zuko’s, distracting myself from the tense atmosphere for the moment. There was something magical about his touch as my pulse slowed down. I was nervous - so damn nervous. I had to make sure I held Kayto’s attention for at least an hour, longer if possible. If I let him leave early…then I messed up the whole plan…
            “They’re coming,” Toph whispered harshly; everyone held their breaths.
            The moment of truth.
            “I mean it. If he lays a single hand on you-” Zuko warned under his breath, the grip on my hand tight as he gazed at me with dread. But Sokka snorting under his breath caught everyone’s attention, “Oh, but you didn’t have a problem laying a hand on Yue last night...”
            Everyone was quiet until Suki and Toph let out a snort, which in turn caused me to giggle. Talk about holding grudges. The pout on Sokka’s face as he snuffed away with his arms crossed, still butthurt about the little ‘topless’ incident in the hot springs last night.
            Zuko flushed, bashfully looking away as he kissed his teeth, “Get over it, we’re dating for fucks sakes.”
            “That’s my innocent sister; you’re corrupting!”
            “I wouldn’t use the word innocent…” Zuko grumbled under his breath. It was my turn to blush, sheepishly slapping his arm as I glared a Zuko. Sokka covered his face with his hands, screaming into them, “I swear- If you touch her, I’ll kill you both!” Toph snorted, “I wanna see that happen…”
            “Are we seriously having this conversation again, right now!?” Suki rustled, slapping Sokka’s arm and causing him to whine. Suki rolled her eyes before mischievously looking at Zuko and me, “Don’t worry about it you lovebirds, you can get as nasty as you want after we get these papers signed.”
            Zuko groaned as Suki sent a playful wink our way. He pinched his nose in irritation once more, mumbling a faint ‘fuck me.’
            I swear Zuko is going to implode any second-
            “Ah, good evening!”
            We all looked upwards, a group of nobles wearing extravagant green robes standing in front of us. The King bore a great smile, bowing at us all with delight. He indeed was a happy man, always wearing a cheerful smile on his face; we all nodded.
            “I apologize once again for delaying today’s meeting till now. A few, unforeseen circumstances, had arisen that had to be dealt with immediately.” Zuko spoke, the Earth King nodded, “I understand, unfortunately, life doesn’t always bend to our favour.”
            It was then out of the corner of my eye I spotted him. My heart beat rapidly, the overwhelming feeling of regret as I realized what I signed up for. No going back now. With a final squeeze, Zuko looked down at me; this is it.
            Unwillingly, I could feel Zuko loosen his grip on my hand, his warmth disappearing as my hand slipped from his. With a flick of my hair, I skipped forward, forcing the perkiest smile possible on my face, “Kayto! Are you ready for our walk?” I sang.
            Kayto smiled before it shifted to a frown, “It would be an honour, but unfortunately, I have to attend this meeting, the times have changed.”
            I pouted, keenly looking at him as I purposely let my hands fall upon Kayto’s arms, squeezing as I spoke, “But I’ve been looking forward to our walk all day!” I whined. Puffing up my cheeks as I tried to look endearing. Kayto’s look softened, a look of regret as he cradled my arms with his – he’s buying it.
            I looked over my shoulder, gazing at the Earth King with an innocent smile, “Is it too much for me to ask to borrow Kayto for the evening? I’m afraid I don’t know when I’ll get the chance to enjoy the company of Kayto due to my busy schedule.” My heart squeezed, seeing Zuko’s lips pressed thin as he watched the way I threw myself at Kayto, but he kept quiet.
            The Earth King hesitantly gazed over at us, “Well…”
            “As much as I would like to enjoy a walk with you, it’s an important meeting...” Kayto reluctantly spoke. And with a bold gesture, he caressed my face. My eyes widen, taken aback by his sudden gesture of affection, and I swore I heard Zuko hiss under his breath. “More important than our walk?” I argued, and Kayto chuckled, “It would seem so.”
            Shit. I need to convince him.
            “That’s disappointing to hear, Kayto. Imperial Consort Ying Yue has been patiently waiting for this walk, you promised her after all, and there’s nothing I hate more than empty promises and an upset Consort.” Zuko spoke, his tone harsh. I anxiously bit my lips, knowing how hard it was for Zuko to push Kayto to me. I’m sorry.
            “Fire Lord Zuko is right; it would be ennoble of you to not hold true to a promise. Enjoy the night Kayto; I’ll be fine.” The Earth King spoke, I beamed. Thank you, Zuko. My arm easily laced with Kayto, pulling him close. It was strange; his touch wasn’t anything like Zuko’s. It felt cold, unloved, and just not Zuko.
            And while Kayto made it quite clear that he was interested in me, I could see Kayto clench his jaw, eyes narrowed, “You’re right, I would hate to disappoint you Fire Lord Zuko. I promise I’ll treat her well this evening. An evening she won’t forget.” The blaze in Zuko’s eyes, knuckles white as he stared down at Kayto - loathing.
            “Let’s get started, shall we?” Aang butted in, smiling radiantly as he placed his hand over Zuko’s shoulder, trying to soothe the flames that were starting to roar.
            “I agree, Avatar Aang; let’s get this meeting started.” Zuko spat, turning on his heel. The gang gazed over me, their eyes round and with trembling lips as they, one-by-one, walked into the meeting. Sokka was the last, his hand resting on the door, “Yue.” He spoke.
            I smiled, acting ignorant, “Yes?”
            “…Walk along the pond; Suki told me it was beautiful. I bet Kayto would love to see it.” I nodded, water. He wants me by water – just in case.
            “I think I will – thanks for the idea!” I chirped, and Sokka nodded. “Enjoy.”
            The door slammed shut, an eerie silence as we stood amongst each other — no one in the hallway beside us.
            One hour.
            Let's do this.
            “Ready?” I hummed. Kayto grasped my hand, like how a snake strangles their prey, his emerald eyes staring down at me with a sly smirk, “After you, little flower.”
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            The walk to the gardens was soundless; not a single word spoken as my arms linked with Kayto, his hand still holding mine. As servants and guards gazed at us briefly, they all held the same look - a look of uncertainty. But I bore a smile, trying to soothe them. It was evident that this didn’t look nor feel right, but it didn’t matter. I’ll do anything for Zuko, even this.
            Kayto’s silence was off-putting- not a single pass or flirtatious comment during the whole walk. It was like he was…thinking.
            The guards opened the garden doors, the sun casting a red haze on us. “Ah, we’re here!” I chirped, gazing over at Kayto with a charming smile. He chuckled at my reaction, watching the way my eyes promptly lit up as the soft breeze tickled our skin. Listening to Sokka’s wise advice, I lead us to one of the ponds that wrapped around the gardens. Already I could hear the gentle trickling of water.
            “You’re a nature lover?”
            “I guess you can say that…” I mumbled as I looked over the flowers and bushes that lined the small flowing body of water. I had to admit, while the company was unpleasant, nothing could change the fact that the gardens were stunning. But it also reminded me how badly I wanted to go on a walk with Zuko. It was funny how despite being at the kingdom for how long, we never walked, just him and me, in the gardens.
            “I guess I can’t be too surprised. A gorgeous garden to compliment such a stunning flower as yourself.” Kayto hummed, his thumb gently rubbing my hand as he spoke. I smiled softly, ahh – now there is the flirty Kayto I knew. “I imagine the gardens in the Earth Nation Kingdom are just as stunning?”
            “More so, we have much more land to expand the gardens. I would love to explore the gardens with you one day…” I shyly looked away at his gaze, knowing very well what intentions he meant under such a simple statement. We walked along the path, the flowing water on one side, beautiful rocks and flowers on the other — one hour.
            “So what made my little flower decide to go on this evening walk with me?” I shrugged my shoulders, acting innocent as I begrudgingly leaned into his arm, “What do you mean? I wanted to go on this walk.” I spoke, my voice slightly wavering. Kayto chuckled, shaking his head slightly, his raven hair moving with every shake, “Ahh, don’t mistake my good looks for stupidity petal. It won’t end well for you if you do.”
            My feet stopped.
            Kayto turned his body to face me, a menacing smile on his face as he raised a brow, “So – let’s drop the small talk, shall we?”
            It was insanity – how his soft features looked frightening as we stood alone in the gardens — no guard in sight, not even a servant. The way his thin lips pulled upwards, a devilish grin painted his face as he batted his eyelashes mockingly to me. It was then I felt it, his finger gently tracing my jaw, his face inches from mine, “When I met you, I thought you were nothing more but an orchid – a delicate little thing. But I was wrong. You’re more like a rose – beautiful, but secretly, you have thorns, thorns you mask with innocence. You may have Zuko fooled, but I know. Oh, little bud, I know-”
            His mouth brushed against my ear, a soft chuckle escaping him before his grasp on my chin tighten, causing me to wince. “I know - your dirty. Little. Secret.” He hissed through his teeth. My body stiffen, my hands starting to rise, feeling the water behind me. And as if he knew, Kayto’s hands dropped, tightly gripping my hands with his own. His fingers dug into my hands, so roughly my eyes watered, “Now that we cleared the air, let’s continue the walk, shall we?”
            My throat felt dry, unable to stifle out a word as he pulled away from me, his intimidating grin completely wiped away as he smiled at me. He was an actor – so well adept at hiding the repulsive creature he was. His hands untangled from mine, blood rushing to my fingers once again, “Now-now-now, what’s wrong flower? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Kayto cooed, caressing my face as if he cared.
            I stepped back, pushing his hand away from me with a scowl, “Don’t touch me.” I hissed.
            Kayto grinned, “Oh, so now the thorns finally come out. I love it when they fight back, act all tough, only for them to beg.”
            “I have no secrets Kayto. I don’t know what you think you have against me, but it’s all lies.”
            Kayto tapped his chin with his long boney fingers, taunting as he shook his head, “Oh little flower. When will the lies stop? How about I help you, like telling you why you agreed to come on this walk with me.”
            “I told you it was because I wanted to.”
            “That disfigured idiot would never let you go on a walk with me unless it was advantageous. You think your little friends are so clever, separating me from the King so you can get your papers signed.”
            My eyes widen – he already figured it out. The shock on my face was apparent, as Kayto sniggered, “But the joke’s on you, I couldn’t care less if you get it signed. I was only doing a favour to some fellow comrades by convincing the King not to sign. Get it signed, see if I care, it’ll only upset them but not me.” Comrades? Wait a minute…that must mean, “…You’re not loyal to the King…”
            “Not by a long shot. He’s simply a tool.” Kayto chuckled. A tool? How can he view someone, a person, as just a tool? A means to an end?
            “What do you want Kayto?” I spoke carefully, keeping a watchful eye to his every move. He was an enemy to the Earth Nation – and no one had a clue. How did a man like him get away with this for so long? The criminals, some man named Yakone - the King spoke about this the other night at the party, Zuko and him huffing about how they couldn’t catch them. Is this why? Is it because Kayto was always keeping them aware, a snitch in the kingdom? Oh gosh – a snitch in the kingdom.
            He can’t be the snitch we’re looking for; the waterfall was before he arrived…unless. He may know who the snitch is.
            Kayto just laughed, shrugging his shoulders as he looked at me, entertained, “What’s wrong little flower, your mind seems to be buzzing away.” I could feel the grass under my feet; I was right at the edge of the path. This whole time I was unknowingly walking backwards. I need to get out of here; this has become something more significant. So much more extensive than any of us expected.
            “You know, when you said you were a nature lover, I wasn’t all too surprised. He is too.” My eyes narrowed, he? “Who are you talking about?”
            “Ah, so it’s true. You really don’t have a clue.” I frowned, my eyes trying to scan our surroundings. We were a good few minutes away from the nearest entrance back to the palace. It was late; no one took walks at this time; everyone would be heading back. “Ready to head back already? We just started this walk. We have so much more to talk about, so much more to do.” He purred.
            Then I felt it.
            His fingers flicked upwards, so fast that I didn’t notice till it was too late. I gasped, my feet sinking into the ground, my body rocking as I struggled to find my balance. I can’t move, my feet-
            I fell on my knees, wincing as the sharp rocks that decorated the path jammed through my dress. My hands fell palms down onto the ground to soften the blow. My head shot upwards, instinctively my hands raising, but he was faster. He stomped onto the ground, pushing forward, and within a flash, my right hand got caught by a sharp protruding mass from the ground. I hissed, tugging my arm helplessly, trying to free it from the rock.
            I was stuck.
            My feet were rooted; my right arm caught.
            I tucked my left arm to my chest – the only limb he didn’t trap.
            A burst of dark laughter caught my attention, watching the way he slowly walked towards me. “Ah, much better. I must say, I never thought you would be on your knees so soon. They were right; you really are nothing more but a royal bed warmer.”
            A royal bed warmer, I grimaced at the nickname, where have I heard that before? I snuck my left hand behind me, making sure his glance never wandered from my eyes. I could feel it.
            The water behind me.
            My fingers slowly curved into my palm, the water slithered so agonizingly slow up the hill, through every blade of grass. I can’t make a sound. I can’t let him know; I need a bit more time-
            “Who is it?” I blurted. Kayto titled his head to the side, seemingly confused by my words. “The snitch.”
            Kayto’s eyes widen, “The snitch? You know-”
            “There’s a snitch here, in the Fire Nation. But you already know that, don’t you?” Kayto grinned, walking over to me. His hands ran through my hair, letting the strands cascade through his fingers with ease as he hummed, “You’re right, there is a snitch. But I have nothing to do with that.”
            “You’re lying.” I spat, but Kayto just shook his head, his hand running through my hair once again, “There’s one thing I am not, and that is a liar. The whole trip here, I never once lied, but you on the other hand only spoke with lies. So while you view me as filth, whose really the immoral person here? The one who never said anything but the truth, or the one on her knees speaking only in lies?”
            I bit my tongue, because outlandishly – he was right. The look in his eyes, never once wavering as he spoke. He was telling the truth, “You really don’t know who it is?” I whispered. Kayto smiled bitterly, “Sorry flower, all I can say is you’re right, there is a snitch. But that is none of my business and nor do I care. But I can tell you this.” To my surprise, he crouched down, his green eyes at my level as he let his hands move from my hair to my face. His fingers delicately traced my jaw, before he stopped at my scar, the same injury he saw at the party.
            “I’m not the person you should fear, oh no, if anything, I’m your guardian spirit. You should fear my comrades. They’re the ones who left you with that disgusting scar, and they’re the ones you should worry about.”
            “What do they want?” Kayto shrugged, sighing as if bored, “Don’t know, don’t care. Like I said before, it’s none of my business. Although he’ll be quite upset with me if he knows I hurt you in any way, quite protective of you…” My brows pinched together, again with this ‘he.’ But my mind was once again preoccupied, I could feel it, the water starting to pool behind me, Kayto still oblivious to it. Just a few more seconds-
            “Who is this man you keep bringing up?”
            “A Bloodbender, but I bet you know tons about that, don’t you flower?” Kayto whispered, a sadistic smirk on his face. A Bloodbender? I pushed the thought away; that’s the least of my concerns. Kayto’s noticed how little attention I gave, causing him to grip my jaw hard, “You’re not exactly in the position to be zoning out petal.”
            “You’re wrong.”
            “Wrong?” Kayto muttered, “I’m exactly where I want to be.”
            I swung my left hand upwards, the water rising high above me as Kayto stayed crouched, mouth wide. My arm hurdled towards him with a fist, the water freezing instantaneously. Ice formed, piercing shards soaring towards him in a single motion.
            He fell back, swinging his arms in a pathetic attempt to protect himself, the ground underneath us shifting to form a shield. A distraction, that’s all I needed right now. The tension from my feet was gone and the mini encasement my right arm was stuck in crumbled. With a huff, I pulled back, dust flying everywhere as ice shattered as it hit the shield of rock that Kayto had built.
            I jumped to my feet, swinging my arms back, the ice shards stopping it’s assault and floating back to me in a single movement. I could hear Kayto groan, the shield he built crumbling down as he covered his face with the sleeve of his robe. The dust started to settle around us, and Kayto hissed, “I should’ve known.”
            “Known what?” I challenged, my arms raised and feet firmly planted on the ground. Kayto was quick; I could figure that much. But Kayto shook his head, lifting himself off his knees as he stood, “That you’d be as crafty as him. Clearly, I underestimated you.”
            “Who is this HE?” I fumed, my patience wearing thin as he mentioned him once again. Who was this man? Why does he keep comparing me to him? “That’s the least of your worries flower.”
            And with that, he stomped.
            My eyes widen, watching the way his feet hit the ground, earth shooting upwards as he rapidly punched, sending thin discs of rock my way. Shit – I outstretched my arms, swinging forward and then back in a single swing. The ice around me swiftly laid along my body, forming a protective barrier. The earth launched towards me at full speed as I raised my arms, dirt flying as it shattered upon contact with my ice. I need to get close.
            Rock after rock he shot, his mini tower of dirt he built slowly disappearing after each throw as I tried to weave between each one helplessly. I was slow, not nearly as quick as I was before, but that’s what three years of not bending does to you.
            I huffed, another rock coming my way, to fast for me to dodge. I planted my feet, raising my arms as I felt the impact of the rock hitting the ice, grunting. The way Kayto moved, his punches fast, light on his feet – it was different, unlike any other Earthbender I’ve seen. He shot another rock my way, and I lunged forward, only to swing my right arm. The ice along my arm shifted, long and thin, mimicking that of a blade.
            Kayto moved from his spot, just barely dodging my jab as stands of long black hair flew in the breeze, “You’re fast little flower.” Kayto chuckled, before swinging his foot at my feet. I huffed, slamming my arm on the ground, his foot making contact with my limb. The ice spread onto his leg; I caught him.
            He swore under his breath, unable to pull back. I tugged, causing Katyo to lose his balance. He fell on his back, and I dove forward, swinging my right arm towards him once again. Kayto’s arms crossed in front of him, my blade caught between the earth he summoned between us, “I never thought you were one to favour hand-to-hand combat.” Kayto hissed, as I struggled to push the ice through the rock. The top of the blade started to pierce through, just scarcely touching his chest, just a bit more-
            “But I guess I can’t be too surprised, being the daughter of a general after all.” My eyes widen, how does he-
            Kayto hard-pressed forward, catching me off guard as he thrust upwards, his knee jabbing into my stomach. I cried out, my breath escaping me as he tossed me to the side like a rag doll. I huffed as the stupid pebbles that lined the path dug into my skin and ripped my dress. My hands instantly gripping my stomach. Kayto jumped up, “You want hand-to-hand, fine. But you’re going to regret it flower.”
            “Fuck you.” I groaned as Kayto pressed forward, crawling away from his attack as I scrambled to get on my feet. My feet dug into the dirt, trying to withstand his punches, he was stronger than me. Each attack of his causing me to wince as my ice started to crack under his rock-covered blows. The way he effortlessly punched and evaded, despite the armour that covered his arms like my ice, it was mind-blowing. I need to end this soon, I’m still too weak, not healed enough-
            My breathing felt winded, once again sidestepping to another one of his lunges, “What’s wrong flower – is someone tired?” Kayto tutted, boxing his fists yet again. I grounded my feet, kicking his knee. A groaned escaped him, wincing and I shoved forward. He stumbled backwards, as I tangled my leg with his, freezing him to the spot – now.
            My arms swung up into the sky with fists, ice starting to form into tiny daggers. Kayto eyes widen in shock, too close of a distance to protect himself from the shards that hovered above him. I pounced, swinging my arms as the ice flew towards him, unleashing all of my energy as the ice sped towards him. Kayto crossed his arms in front of him, a desperate attempt to protect himself. I won, he’s dead meat.
            I stopped.
            The ice just barely grazed his skin, Kayto still underneath me as he anticipated certain death. “You’re not worth it,” I muttered. My ice melted as I pulled away, only then noticing that the sun was almost completely gone, I did it — more than an hour.
            “You’re not the real threat. You’re just a puppet…” I spoke. Kayto eyes widen, looking at me with shock before a grin broke out. Kayto was just a decoy; this whole New Nation stuff was all just a giant distraction. A distraction from another, more, sinister plan – a plan that Kayto was not a part of. “You’re smart little flower, more so than anyone realizes.” Kayto softly whispered.
            “What-what are you getting out of this? You don’t know who the snitch is, you don’t care about the new Nation. So what benefits do you get out of this?” I asked. Kayto just dusted off his robes, shrugging as if we weren’t in a clash seconds ago, “As I said earlier little flower, I was doing a favour. I have everything I want and more.” I didn’t bother staying around any longer. I did what I had to do, take up Kayto’s time.
            I turned on my heel, ready to run to the nearest entrance to get to Zuko but Kayto’s voice stopped me. “Ying Yue.”
            He said my name: no flower or petal, or even little bud.
            I didn’t bother looking over my shoulder, standing still. “They’re dangerous. They’ve killed hundreds; they discriminate against no one. I don’t know what they want, but I do know you’re the key…it’s all about blood.”
            My fists tighten, looking at the dirt underneath my feet, “…Thank you.”
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            I changed out of my dress, brushing my hair as I slipped into one of Zuko’s old shirts. It was late, the moon peeking out as I anxiously sat at my vanity, waiting for Zuko’s arrival. And it was then I could hear the guards speaking, the door handle jiggle. Zuko. I bolted, throwing the brush to side as the doors finally opened.
            Zuko strolled in, the doors closing behind him as our eyes met. Impatiently, I eyed him, trying to read his body language, trying to gauge what the outcome was. His lips moved, a faint smile shining through, “We did it. It’s signed.”
            I threw my arms around his neck, they did it. I laughed merrily as Zuko squeezed me, “I’m so happy.” I muttered into his chest, hearing Zuko chuckle with happiness as he held me close, “It was because of you, if you didn’t take Kayto out for that walk-” I tensed, so caught up in the moment the events that just transpired slipped out of my mind.
            Within seconds Zuko pulled back, feeling the way my body went rigid, eyes narrowed with apprehension, “How was it? The walk.” Zuko muttered, watching the way I pressed my lips together. “Zuko. We need to talk.” Right away he looked over me with guilt, “Did he hurt you, I swear I’ll kill-”
            “Zuko, he’s not a good man.”
            “I already knew that-”
            “No Zuko, he’s a traitor. He’s working behind the Earth King.” Zuko’s eyes widen, his hands grasping his head as I spoke, trying to let the words I blurted settle. “I said to distract him, not fucking dissect the man to pieces. How did you find out?” Zuko hissed, rubbing his chin as he paced back and forth in the room.
            I sighed, falling onto the bed as I played with the hem of my shirt, spilling out every single word that transpired between us, conveniently leaving out any details of our mini battle. Zuko groaned, hissing under his breath as he clenched his jaw, “He’s a fucking genius.”
            “What?”
            “I can’t do anything.” I frowned, shaking my head as I watched the way Zuko fought with himself, “What do you mean, can’t you warn the Earth King?”
            “No, I don’t have proof. Just word of mouth. That’s why Kayto told you because he knew. If I say anything, accuse a noble of treason, that’s just asking for another hundred-year war.” I sighed, covering my face with my hands. That cunning bastard.
            I huffed as I crossed my arms, “Fine, it’s not like he’s a threat anyways…” I muttered under my breath. Zuko looked at me, confused, “What do you mean…”
            “Kayto’s not the issue; he’s nothing more but a stupid puppet,” I grumbled. It was pointless, this whole discussion. Nothing was going to arise from it. I didn’t know what his comrades wanted, and Kayto was at the end of the day, the definition of a lousy villain who just wanted an easy way to money, power, and sex. Kayto’s words echoed in my head, ‘a royal bed warmer’ – why does it sound so familiar? Someone called me that before…who?
            Zuko grasped my face, sighing softly as he towered in front of me, “So that’s all? He didn’t mention who these other people were? What they wanted?” I shook my head, letting myself crash against his hip as I hugged him. “I guess…we’re still at point zero. Still in the dark.” Zuko muttered, placing a soft kiss on my head as his hands rubbed my back. “I’m sorry, I wish I could tell you more.”
            “No, I’m sorry, you should’ve never been on that walk in the first place.”
            I huffed once again, a sigh escaping me as I took in his warmth. My eyes closing, “Zuko…”
            “Yes, love?”
            “I want cuddles before bed…” Zuko chuckled, running his fingers through my hair as I looked up at him with a pout, “You’ll get some and more.”
            “Promise?”
            “Promise.”
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Copyright © 2019 Mystic-Kitten, inc. all rights reserved. No reposting, modifying, or translations of any kind allowed. Thank you for your cooperation.
Disclaimer: I do not own any Avatar characters portrayed in this story besides Ying Yue Jiang, Lia, Kima, and any future creations.
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Had to delete my squarespace so putting posts here
FEAR
I once heard that suicide is the last solace. This morning, struggling to get out of bed, I held the concept in my mind's hands, played with it, but deep inside I knew that my courage was not nearly as strong to do the deed. Whenever I hear about some artist or celebrity committing suicide, instead of disdain, I feel respect. There is a part of me that believes that humans are some sort of mutation that wasn't supposed to happen. Why are we so different from other animals?
Last night, I spent hours reading about a child sexual abuse case from Belgium. The Doulleux dosier or something.
It was strange that I couldn't stop reading, even if some parts made me feel sick. I couldn't imagine being the victim or perpetrator in this case. At the same time, I was repulsed by my own desire to keep reading. It's like watching a car crash. I think people find pleasure from violence and aberration. By pleasure, I don't mean the normal sense. More like the one that keeps you watching like a horror film or the news coverage of Jon Benet Ramsey's kidnapping and murder. Deep inside there is some sort of dopamine releasing that causes the people to continue watching the car crash and the stories on the news about bombs in New York. Or maybe it's adrenaline. Who the fuck knows. All I know is that people hide the things they want to hide because they think it's wrong and they amplify the things that make them look good. Society.
Stuff like this makes me feel like I can't talk to anybody. We have all this stupid shit we keep inside. I guess certain things are known but people just don't talk about them. I've always been an open person but I feel this darkness presiding over my thoughts, mostly because there's no one I can talk to them about. Fear of being a pedophile (POCD), Fear of being gay (OCD), fear of death. Fear of people. Fear of living. I don't know if I can take much more of this. Everything is so hard. I need to stop watching porn because it gives me these fucked up perceptions about sex. Hanging out with my cousin yesterday, I had a hard time looking at her in the eye because I was thinking about all the porn I was watching the night before and how embarrassed I would be if she knew.
This then goes to my belief that everyone has to know everything about me, like I owe them that somehow. Like I need their approval over my own. Maybe this is the lesson Corey taught me. Do I approve of myself? At the moment, I don't think that I do. I feel tainted and broken. Maybe because of the HPV and my past. The broken hearts.
Maybe I should stop trying to control my fears and just embrace the fear that comes, not knowing if more fear will come, maybe it will not come, but stop trying to control it.
SNOW WHITE AND THE WICKED STEPMOTHER
I will preface this by stating that Snow White, as it was originally written, did not have an evil Stepmother, but just a regular mother. This fact brings into theme the jealousy that is often felt by mothers towards their daughters.
Ideas like this, which are universal are rarely spoken about because it makes people uncomfortable. Our very natures are often the very things that cause us discomfort. This universal truth (the denied nature) is depicted in the enduring myth referenced in Genesis where Adam and Eve consume the apple at the discretion of the Serpent, and subsequently cover themselves in order to hide their nakedness. Animals(but not humans) feel no shame for their nature (unless conditioned to). I believe that humans are also conditioned to feel shame. They are taught what is good and evil based on their own experiences with the themes. Thus, I believe that the act of original sin is not a root event happening once in humanity, but happening in every life. The capability of learning Good and Evil, an aspect of the brain, is shown through the metaphor of the forbidden fruit.
How did we disobey God? The metaphor implies that it was from the development of the modern brain. Perhaps the disobedience comes from coveting something forbidden, or coveting in general, which is perhaps the building block of civilization itself. In order to obtain many good and land and wives, one must have a well developed brain. As the brain develops so does civilization and vice versa.
Back to the whole point of this post. Today I was joking around with my dad, which is rare for us. He tends to be withdrawn unless drunk. I was picking up Peanut and using her to kick him. I'm laughing and he's not complaining, but I look at my mom and she doesn't look pleased but slightly uncomfortable. Actually this is her usual reaction when my dad and I are getting along. I don't know if it's because she feels left out or jealous but she is never happy with the pleasantries between us. I wonder if she's afraid that my dad and I would develop a sexual relationship (even typing this makes me feel weird and uncomfortable). I've heard her telling stories of how she was drugged and raped by her uncles and then even have a forced medicinally induced abortion. All of this sounds so absurd but it is real. But talking about it does help me process the situation. Humans are born through violence but touched by the idea of perfection.
Anyway yeah. Original sin. Nature versus idealization. Jealous mother.
All I want is a nice bed, home, boyfriend, and a good career. And a dog.
OCD POCD SOOD HOCD
All this time I was worried that Fred would be reading my blog and thinking about what I loser I am but it turns (through the Squarespace analytics) that he wasn't looking at my page at all. Not even once (according to the ip logs they were mostly me). Maybe it is better to be seen than be invisible.
What if I want neither?
Then maybe I belong in some sort of purgatory and not in the distinct space of [to be or not to be]. I'm not even sure if any of that remotely made sense. Hamlet asks himself, to be or not to be. Is there a third option?
The highlight of my day is going to Stew Leonards with my mom to buy bacon on sale.
On the bright side, I was watching some old videos of myself and it doesn't seem like I've gotten any dumber. Still retarded as ever!
I just wish I had the motivation and confidence to do something with my life. Instead I'm afraid of everything: having schizophrenia, being a pedophile, being gay, being incompetent, dying, living life. Smoking weed at least helped with my depression but made the anxiety and paranoia worse. Cigarettes made my depression worse. Maybe I should just stop with the substances and stick with one perspective for the time being. I think my other problem is just an addiction to outside substances. It's a psychological thing, like I can't enjoy life unless it's enhanced by a substance. Maybe it's a result of being oversaturated with consumerist ideals and having it applied to my own existence and body.
The killer for my self-esteem was having HOCD which lead to POCD, both being SOOCD. Basically fear of being a sexual orientation that is dissimilar to my own. When I was younger, it was fear of germs, then living with Erin* (who had HIV) it was the chance of getting HIV (which were extremely low but present nonetheless). It was really hard having cervical dysplasia, which lead to me being even more promiscuous for some reason (one night stands prevented having to talk about things). I think my fear of having HIV came from the guilt I felt not informing my partners of HPV.
Even with that said, I'm not going to disclose HPV status once it clears because it's just retarded because almost everyone has it, and if it's cleared then it's not possible to transmit. No more guilt!
Going back to the HOCD, POCD, and SOOCD. I think it stemmed from little comments that Erin would make regarding my sexuality. I guess the uncertainty about my sexuality hit so hard for the mere fact that I was very comfortable with it. Despite watching crazy amounts of porn, even identifying with the guy, I was still straight. I talked to Fred a little about this and he said it's common because, duh the male gaze. He's really smart. I wish he was my boyfriend.
Sorry getting distracted. Yeah so it started off with the fear of being gay even though I've never been sexual with a girl or wanted to be, sans the porn in the male gaze. Then because I have this age gap fetish, erroneously thought I might be a pedophile. Long story short, I am not a pedophile (this is confirmed by a mental health professional, though in the next session she suggested I go on antipsychotics). No, I just want to be fucked by an older, mature (but not too mature, like 35-50) gentleman.
Post Turned Into Erotica
I tend to get obsessed with guys because I'm lazy and don't want to get rich on my own. I'm also tired of fucking myself.
My new obsession is Fred* who I've been fantasizing about since last Friday. It never occurred to me that he was older, but alas he is about 8 years older than me (I have a thing for older men). I called him today making some excuse about getting paid for the shoot (it's going to take two months). He doesn't know that I've been internet stalking both him and his girlfriend (they are semi-famous so there's a lot).
Honestly, I think I would make a good wife, the only downside is I would probably go crazy within a few years. Just the idea of being with the same person for the rest of my life is making my eyes roll to the back of my head. But you never know until you try right?
Everything about the logistics of human life makes me laugh. Just the hypocrisy of it all is baffling,  once you get past all the neurotransmitters and hormones.
I think I'm slowly getting out of that anxiety of being afraid that I'm gay or a pedophile. It was honestly the scariest and most depressing days of my life, but a bit laughable now. The other day I was watching porn and was mesmerized by this woman's size A cups bouncing as she was getting fucked. Looking at it now, I guess there is something really mesmerizing and sensual about breasts bouncing from a dick going in and out of it. Sometimes I feel like I have the sex drive of a teenage boy, but I think it's a result of my biological clock running. I get really turned on by the idea of getting forced into sex. Not rape, per say, but like I'm cooking and Fred* without asking puts his dick inside of me.
Or like I'm at home wearing a corset and garter and he slips a finger inside of me to find that I'm soaking wet. "Go upstairs and get ready for me." As he's making himself a drink I'm in the master bathroom freshening up. My small shapely lips give a preview of what's going on downstairs. As I'm putting on lipstick he comes up behind me and starts kissing my neck. I can feel his stiff cock pressing against my ass-crack. His 6 foot 2 frame overpowers my small one and I am helpless in his arms.
Ect. Ect. Ect.
*Name has been changed to protect the innocent.
Introduction
Whenever I write something knowing it will be published, I end up sounding cheesy. There's nothing about it I can change, but I made this website in order to write anonymously and not have my writing be affected by potential readers.
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