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hana-bean · 3 years

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Close to you (1/7)

Hi everyone! Happy SeiUsa Week 2021! Please enjoy this seven-chapter installment in celebration of the ultimate OTP!

~~~

Everyone walks on To meet just one person someday

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“Boo! You suck!”

Seiya ducked to the side to avoid an oncoming empty beer bottle flying his way, shattering as it hit the stage floor. He scowled as he grabbed the microphone with the other hand still on his guitar neck.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Get off the stage!” Another bottle started flying, this time in between him and the second guitar player, Yaten.

The bar owner soon sprinted toward the musicians and on the stage, trying to avoid various other objects projecting through the air in the meantime.

“Guys, you got any other songs to play?”

Taiki, who was standing in the back at a keyboard, walked up to join the conversation. “What other songs? This is all we know.” He explained while kicking off a half-eaten chicken wing that landed on his shoe.

“You play the same set every night. They want something fresh.”

“Well, maybe you need to get more patrons instead of the same ones every night,” Yaten growled with a lime green twitchy eye. “It’s not our fault your regulars live here.”

“Listen,” the owner paused to grimace in figurative pain as he felt something wet hit his back. “You need to mix it up.”

“We can’t,” Seiya replied firmly. “We need to play these songs.”

“Then pack it up. The show’s over.”

Yaten released his guitar in order to gesture to drive his point across, letting it hang on his neck. “No! You need to let us play!”

“Not a chance, Napoleon. You’ll drive away my tenants!” The owner glared.

That was it—and not that it usually took very much anyway—Yaten was over the edge. He lifted the strap over his head and tossed his instrument to Taiki before tackling the owner to the stage floor with his standard flying squirrel technique.

“Yaten, what the fuck?!” Seiya removed his guitar and went to work trying to pry his bandmate from atop the owner, or at least he tried; Yaten had the grip strength of a coconut crab despite being the smallest of the three of them.

But that was all the patrons needed as a reason to get in on the action. They stormed the stage with their rage and beer bottles ready, even turning on one another and the instruments. Some who didn’t choose violence for a Tuesday night contacted authorities on their crystal cell phones as they made their exit; the other portion used them to record the melee from their tables.

Seiya soon felt the weight of three men come at him at all sides; his only instinct to protect his head before the four-person clump of testosterone toppled two feet down and off the stage. Immediately, he felt a pain shoot from his knee all the way up to his hip as something heavy and drunk landed on his leg. Seiya wriggled and scooted as much as possible to free himself, but since his body was the one that absorbed most of the impact, the attacking men had the advantage to quickly begin their beatdown.

He managed to curl up in the fetal position as feet and fists made contact with every part of his exposed body. But then, allowing himself to only feel like a failure for a few seconds, he made a quick decision and reached within his jacket for his headset.

“Fighter Star Power, Make Up!”

As the transformation alone knocked the three men on their backs, their world was forever rocked when they looked upon a leather-clad woman standing in place of the male musician once the music and sparkles had faded.

“He’s a guardian?!” One yelled, completely stupefied.

Sailor Star Fighter cocked an eyebrow as she smirked, her Star Yell ready in hand.

“Remind me again: what do you think of my songs?”

By then, three police officers had come through the entrance. Their hands floated above their holstered guns on their hips as they were visibly surprised and uneasy.

“Guardian! Put your weapon down!”

“It’s the cops! Run!” A voice shouted. The chaos simply transformed from scuffle to stampede as people began to book it for any exit they could find.

The authorities were soon knocked down from the rush, however one was able to take out her radio and plead into it, “Ten-seventy-five! We need guardians! Get us guardians!” until it was kicked out of her hand from an escaping patron.

Taiki and Yaten came up behind Star Fighter—donning a few scratches, cuts, and tousled hair—all the while still moving pretty well.

“Seiya, you dumbfuck, why’d you transform?” Yaten chastised.

“I’m the dumbfuck?” Fighter gave her crazy eyes. “They were going to kill me!” For a split second, she forgot about her leg and put weight on it while yelling back. However, the appendage was quick to remind her that something was wrong. She winced and seethed in a breath as she fell on Taiki for support.

“Let’s get out of here,” Taiki suggested calmly as he wrapped Fighter’s arm around his neck. Yaten followed suit on the other side.

They only had to contend with navigating through a few scattered stragglers before the three made their way toward the emergency exit by the stage. Taiki kicked the door open only to be met with two obstacles standing in their way, both clad in Milky Way guardian uniforms. One was in a dark blue and yellow color combination with short blonde hair, the other in dark blue and teal with medium-length teal hair.

“Not so fast.”

---

Seiya sighed as he dropped his head on the headrest in the backseat of the police car. The authorities were escorting him from a hospital where his wounds were attended to, and he was now alone. Or rather, separated from Taiki and Yaten. His only company was the two guardians from the bar—whom he was squished in between—and a uniformed officer at the wheel.

He cleared his throat to get attention from anyone. “What did you do with my friends?”

“They’re at a detention center.” The blonde guardian answered, void of emotion, keeping her focus out the window.

“A detention center? Why?”

“Because they’re here illegally. You all are. You should be there, too.”

Fuck, that’s not good. That’s not good at all… But it still didn’t explain… “So where are you taking me then?”

“The queen would like an audience with you.” The teal-headed one answered while busy on her crystal smartphone, having removed a glove for her screen to sense the natural heat of her thumb. A half-filled plastic grocery bag also sat on her lap.

“The queen?” Seiya tried to use his hands to emphasize his confusion, however, his handcuffs clanked in protest. “What does she want with me?”

“It doesn’t matter what she wants—she calls, you come.” The blonde turned her head to look at him with stern blue eyes.

He knew there was no use prying anymore. The blonde had already knocked him around a few times before getting to the hospital, so he knew he risked further physical punishment if he did so. Any other day he would find the pain worth it if it meant annoying her, but his body was already unbearably sore in places he didn’t realize he had.

Meeting with the queen also had him a bit concerned for his well-being. He figured it had something to do with being a guardian, but what exactly does she plan to do with him and that information? He had heard she was a kind and just ruler, albeit young, but from his years of intergalactic travel before ending up in Crystal Tokyo, it could very well be propaganda.

He guessed he was about to find out.

Once the car made it to the bridge that led to the palace, one needed two hands to count all the checkpoints. The palace seemed to be built specifically to reflect the moonlight, producing a daytime-like glow once they were on royal grounds. However, the car parked in front of an inconspicuous building behind a row of trees a couple of minutes shy of the actual palace, and then the blonde dragged Seiya out of the vehicle by his handcuff chains, causing his shiny black cane to drop on the ground. Diagnosed with a temporary disability from his hurt leg, the doctors issued the walking aid to help with his mobility for the next couple of weeks, but the blonde didn't care.

“Haruka, be gentle.” The teal-headed guardian chided.

“Why?”

“You know how handcuffs can hurt if you’re too rough.”

“And you will know, too… once we’re done tonight.”

Seiya raised an eyebrow, wondering if they knew their whispering wasn’t really whispering; he even caught the driver looking back with a nosy eye. Feeling a sense of dread of being transported to a second location, he limped along slowly, following the driver inside the building while trailed by the guardians.

He was led to a room that was comfortably simple and aesthetically feminine—its motif included ribbons, swirls, and florals in a combination of white and pink colors. And a small white round table sat in the middle of the space with four plush boudoir chairs surrounding it. Seiya even picked up on the scent of stargazer lilies before he noticed them sitting on a side table by the door.

But apparently, there was no time to take in his surroundings as he felt a shove on his back, forcing him to keep his balance with his bad leg. He turned around to glare at the blonde guardian.

“Hurry up!” She pointed inside the room with irritation emanating from her whole body. “The queen is on her way!”

Seiya grumbled and hobbled over to take his place in a chair, releasing a tired sigh. All he wanted was to get this over with and back to his mission. He hated how his only hope rested within the hands of the queen; it made him feel helpless and idle.

It wasn’t much later when he heard the front door of the building open, followed by both guardians bowing on the other side of the threshold at an unseen presence. Assuming the queen herself had arrived, Seiya pulled himself to his feet with the aid of his cane and the table.

"Uranus! Neptune!"

“Neo-Queen Serenity.”

---

If you would like to follow this story, I will be updating the rest of the chapters under the tag: hana-bean close to you and other iterations of the spacing. I love you all!

#seiusaweek2021 #hana-bean close to you #hana bean close to you #hanabean close to you #hanabeanclosetoyou #seiya x usagi fanfiction #seiya usagi fanfiction #seiya kou fanfiction #seiya x usagi #seiya kou

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editorialsonlife · 4 years

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Well hi tumblr its been a while since I did a brain dump so here we go. strap yourselves in it’ll be fun.

- its been 10 days since my last counselling session and I sound like a loser but I miss it and also am pleasantly surprised that I haven’t lost my shit yet so long may that last. I booked floats in instead while Anne is away and A+ decision past self.

- just roped shelley into signing up to a terms worth of pilates classes with me so bring on those for tuesday nights which I’m excited about.

- got my hormone test results back. testosterone optimal levels start at 4. Mine at at 0.07 so no wonder I’m fucking wiped out all the time mate. my oestrogen levels are down significantly though which is good and my progesterone just sneaks in to the ‘optimal’ level part so still estrogen dominant but bridging the gap slowly. hence taking up pilates and i need to get back into some low intensity weights as well to try boost that testosterone level again. fun times.

- just like, holy fucking shit I forgot what life was like without pervasive, constant, existential anxiety all the fucking time. it was basically just a year of being on edge, jittery and unable to focus. peaks and troughs throughout that time, and very brief windows without it but hot damn, has it taken its sweet time to get back under control. and It’s been a fucking mission to do it but man am I happy I’m through it now. it’s so nice to be back to feeling like myself again. to laugh a bit more. to find more time to smile and more reasons for joy and just goodness in life.

- I’ve journalled for 159 days in a row at this point. it is a lifesaver and I love it. meditation is a lot patchier but its still a good time.

- I got majorly sunburnt on sunday and it’s so sore. I’m v glad I snuck lidocaine aloe vera gel into the country. is so good.

- yoga has also been great. thursday evening yin with candlelight and acoustic music from two kid who liv down the street and some nights it rains and it’s just, I walk up the hill and am dying and out of breath but like, there’s just this sense of calm the moment you walk in and I fucking love it. slowly learning how to exist in my body again in a peaceful manner.

- my body and my brain are not yet quite peacefully coexisting but I think we’ll get there. I’m working on it. sex is still an interesting challenge. food is still a mess. body issues are still all over the show. but ya know what? I’m here and I’m doing it anyway. we’ll get there. baby steps in the right direction.

- less than 6 months til wedding 2.0. got a dress, got a photographer, got the venue, got the celebrant.

- family remains a fun challenge. honestly mates. its a bit nuts. daves parents came down a couple of weeks ago to stay and oh my goodness what a weekend. not sad to not have to repeat that any time soon. going up to see my parents this weekend which should be good.

- got another maple tree over the weekend, YAY

- We got a garage door opener installed and oh my god I feel so rich every time i push a button and the door just rolls up? it’s so bougie and so unnecessary and so LUXURIOUS and its jsut fab and I love it and I hope the novelty never wears off honestly.

- we replanted the vegegarden this weekend for summer and the fucking wind already snapped one of my tomato plants RUDE but hopefully the other half survives which would be great. I hope it does.

- my cherry blossom tree is flowering and its my fav. the cabbage tree out the front is dying as well which is gunna be a pain in the butt to get down ebcause its right by our power line to the house but hopefully it’ll hold out a while longer. need to deal with that sooner rather than later tbh. the apricot tree appears to have a fungal infection from my limited googling? and if it is, it sounds v hard to manage and I’m not sure I’m up for the level of maintenance its gunna need.

- our electric lawn mower continues to bring me great joy.

- its bedtime I really should be putting this laptop away right now.

- I spent the afternoon writing down what I want my life to look like in 10 years and fuck me its quite terrifying and a bit exciting and just, the gap between here and there is so huge but like, I want it but I don’t know how to make it happen but also how good could it be???

- we have also been in dicsussions about getting a puppy. this is a serious life consideration right now. so good.

- there is more but I need to sleep. I have enjoyed shouting into the void. sleep well little internet friends and I hope you are doing ok wherever you are.

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pup-play245 · 5 years

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Some people can identify a defining moment in their childhood - an incident that brings an idea to mind which is then indelibly fixed in the psyche. For Gelding - an adopted alias for the American internet guru to all wanna-be eunuchs - that moment came when he was 12 years old and thrown against an older boy in a packed bus. "Do that again and I'll crush 'em," said the older boy, grabbing his genitals. The pain was as piercing as the pleasure. And so began a lifetime's quest to be castrated.

In the UK, self-motivated castration mainly exists only in the most extreme S&M scene, while in America those aspiring to be castrated comprise a burgeoning and divergent tribe made up of both gay and straight men. Men who want to be castrated fit no stereotype, have no common neuroses or childhood experience. Some are androgynous types (thin and underdeveloped) who want to remain in a prepubescent, asexual phase, others are eroto-phobes who don't like to feel driven by their libidos and want to become surgically tranquillised. Some want to be feminised, a few - known as nullos or smoothies - want to become nullified by having their penis removed along with their testicles.

In Gelding's experience a quarter of those who get castrated continue to regulate their libidos with testosterone, which allows them to have full sex. But what compulsion drives grown men to be castrated in the first place? According to Gelding, for most men the desire to be castrated stems from puberty but does not develop into a fixation for at least 10 years.

This was certainly his experience. Now in his early 50s, he has been without his testicles for six years and is keen to point out that he has no desire to be feminised. Growing up in rural New York State, he knew he was gay from childhood, but it was only in his mid-20s, while working for the military in a top security position, that he discovered the gay S&M scene and a world where castration was honoured rather than abhorred.

One of his first boyfriends was a cutter - a man who worked in the netherworld of the gay S&M scene, cutting off men's testicles, consensually and safely. By 1991 Gelding's testicles had become an unbearable affront to him. The idea of cutting aroused him sexually, but more than that, there was an aching need to be rid of something that had begun to take a stranglehold of his life.

At first he tried to cut off the offending items himself by using rubber bands as a tourniquet and drenching his balls in ice water. But after an hour he ran out of adrenaline and went into clinical shock. In hospital a horrified A&E surgeon castigated him for trying to remove healthy tissue. Three years later he went to a cutter in California and got rid of them safely and efficiently. "I've never felt more myself, more complete or happy," he says, unemotionally.

In order to receive the testosterone that he requires to keep him functioning as a man (he has occasional erectile problems but can still ejaculate) he has devised a cover story which makes him eligible for medical treatment. The story is posted up on the web and tells how he lost his balls against his will in a gay S&M episode which went horribly wrong. "My cover story also means that if someone finds out I'm castrated they view me as a victim, or a brave stalwart rather than a deviant or psychotic person," he explains. As well as resurrecting the libido, testosterone prevents osteoporosis and reduces the flab that castration causes to the hips and breasts. (On the down side, it also increases the risk of prostate cancer.)

A self-confessed mother hen, Gelding has for four years been dispensing advice on his website to men who want, or think they want, to be castrated. In that time he's had 5,000 enquiries from both gay and straight men, all believing that their obsession is unique. Consultant psychiatrist Dr Russell Reid, of Hillingdon Hospital in west London, identifies castration fixation as "highly disturbed behaviour, in mainly gay men, whose self-hatred is directed towards their genitals".

Gelding's response to this interpretation is equivocal. "Yes, it's true that no normal person would do that, but then given that homosexuality has always been called a sickness, what's normal?" Reid's experience of this tender topic is predominantly with transsexuals (some of whom even castrate themselves) as well as with men who are hypersexed. "These men are led by their erect penises and some are driven to offend. Being castrated can be a huge release because they become pre-pubital, and sex is no longer an overwhelming preoccupation."

He finds the origins of the fixation perplexing but speculates that it might be a case of the fear of castration turned on its head to become a uncontrollable craving.

But eunuchs are nothing new. For 4,000 years they have represented some of the most marginalised and most honoured in society. In ancient India, eunuchs advised princes and guarded their harems, and the Biblical Daniel was a eunuch who rose to become prime minister of Babylon and later Persia. More recently there have been the Italian castrati of the 19th century - boys who sacrificed their manhood for the sake of singing careers in the opera houses of Europe. Today there are the cross-dressing Hijras in India and religious extremists such as members of the Russian Skoptsy sect who see the testicles as an organ of weakness. The medical profession understands this "syndrome" only in relation to transgender reassignment surgery or as part of body dysmorphia (a syndrome in which people become fixated with having a limb amputated). But Gelding disregards the connection with the body modification scene, believing the desire to be castrated is far more complex.

Nor can he relate to the transgendered, "some of whom get castrated just to get on to a gender reassignment programme". He is also reluctant to help those whose desire to be castrated hinges on the ritual of cutting: "Because if that's the overriding issue then most of these people are into fantasy and role play and don't have a true fixation." When castration is a true fixation, Gelding believes it is vital that surgeons treat the problem in a much more educated fashion. "There isn't a doctor in the world informed in this area, because nothing will justify to a physician the removal of healthy tissue."

There are several doctors in the US who will surgically remove testicles, but seldom before getting their patients to sign a consent form saying it is for gender reassignment. Dr Felix Spector, who advertises castration on his business card, has become something of a celebrity in the murky world of eunochdom, having performed his first castration in 1957. But the vast majority are amateur cutters, subject to prosecution for practising medicine without a licence, and desperately sought after on the net by men in urgent need.

Although these cutters offer a necessary service (reducing the instance of self-castration), for the most part they too find the act of cutting erotic. Talking about doing a DIY castration, one cutter described the "lovely crunching sound" a Burdizzo (a castration device) makes "like biting into fresh celery". Burdizzos, elastators and other animal castration devices can all be purchased on the net. The internet has become a sanctuary to these would-be eunuchs. There are numerous websites providing information, and chat lines link men from all over the world who share this compulsion.

When Gelding was delivering himself into the hands of the cutter there were no such support services and perhaps that's why it wasn't until he was in his 40s that he finally did what he had always wanted to do. Since then, he says, he has found some kind of inner peace, but at a price. He would have preferred to have been one of those who rationalised their way out of it, something he encourages all his correspondents to do. He considers those who manage it to be the lucky ones.

The others must join him among one of the most disenfranchised of groups. Men who are ridiculed, despised and misunderstood by a society which will never be able to make any sense of why they feel incomplete with their testicles and yet complete without them.

Hidden Love: Modern Day Eunuchs is on Channel 4 next Tuesday at 10pm

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mokutone · 1 year

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i just really think theyre SO alike,

#my art #naruto #kakashi #sakura haruno #like father like daughter #image desc in alt text #i think sakura grows up to have the same crushing kind of martyr “i have to give everything to save the people i care abt or im worthless”#complex that kakashi does #exacerbated by her being a mednin #like an “if i have the power to save people. if they die its 100% on me” kind of unhealthy brainwave #i think of all the kids he is most like her. thats my onion and ill share it gladly. have a slice of onion. have a slice of onion. have a s #anyway happy testosterone tuesday to those who celebrate!!!!#mwah mwah wishing u all good luck

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onceuponahedafics · 7 years

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Title: 365 Ways Author: OnceUponAHeda Pairing: Waverly/Nicole Rating: T Disclaimer: All copyrighted material in this story belongs to their respectful owners.

Summary: Au! Newly engaged Waverly Earp meets Nicole Haught and sparks fly instantly between the two. Now with Waverly's wedding exactly one year away it gives Nicole 365 days to proof to Waverly that she is making a mistake by marrying Champ. WayHaught

A/N- Hey guys, so I have been working on this story for about a year but I never found an OTP that worked for me in this story and then I discovered the wonder that is WayHaught. All of the important people will be making an appearance and also a lot of OC characters. So hope you guys enjoy!

Chapter 1 - Just Another Day

Black boots are resting carelessly on top the wooden desk when a white square box lands next to them.

"Happy birthday Earp." Xavier smiles down at his partner as she grabs the box pulling out a doughnut.

"Powdered sugar hells yes." Taking a bit she lets out a loud moan. "Damn that's good. Thanks Dolls."

"Anything for my partner." He says ruffling her hair making Wynonna punch him in the side. He just chuckles before taking a seat at his desk across from her. "How are you going to celebrate turning the big two seven?" He mockingly says making Wynonna flip him off with her powdered sugar covered finger.

"Your older them me dimwit. But to answer your question - alcohol and lots of it."

"So just another Tuesday then." He smirks at her.

"Pretty much." She shrugs. "Wave has been bugging me about going to that hot shot club Purgatory but that place is harder to get into then a nun's panties."

"Purgatory yeah I know it, pretty cool place." He starts flipping through the files on his desk but stops to look back up at her. "Hey, if I could get us in would you want to go?"

"And how exactly are you going to get us in, flash the bouncer?"

"No, I know the owner I helped him out a while back and he owes me."

"Okay then, I'll let the gang know the party has been relocated." She watches as he looks down at his phone before smiling and shaking his head. "What up?"

"My sister recently moved back and she is getting reacquainted with the wonderful Atlanta traffic."

Wynonna sits up abruptly dropping her feet to the ground.

"Hold up, you're telling me this allusive sister of yours is here in Atlanta and you haven't introduced us yet?"

"I didn't know that you wanted to meet her." He says confused.

"Hell yes I want to meet her!" She slams her hand down on the desk making her pencil holder fall over. "You're always talking about Nicky is so awesome, Nicky is so cool, Nicky this Nicky that blah blah blah. So yes I want to meet her and see if she lives up to all the hype."

"Fine, whatever." He rubs his hands over his face exasperated. "How about I bring her along tonight?"

"Okay." Happy about her victory she leans back in her chair grabbing another doughnut.

"Great, can we get to work now?" He throws a folder at her.

"If we must." She flips open the folder, looking at the latest idiot who thought it was a good idea to skip bail. "These scumbags are not going to catch themselves."

-x-x-

After pulling on her blazer and adjusting the sleeves she starts running her fingers through her red hair trying to tame the wild curls.

"What's got you all freaked out?" Her brother asks leaning against the doorframe.

"I'm not."

"I haven't seen you fiddle with your hair this much since you woke up with that nasty piece of gum in it."

She drops her arms looking herself over once more in the full length mirror.

"I just want them to like me."

"Who, Xavier's friends?" He asks and Nicole nods. "Why would you care what they think?"

"They are his best friends I just need them to like me."

"And you think if they don't like you he will choose them over you?" He pushes off the doorframe and walks closer to her.

"Well, yes."

"Nicky-"

"Keogan I'm serious." She spins around to face him. "I have been MIA since graduation, they have been here with him while I was on the other side of the world. I don't want to lose my big brother because I was an idiot."

Keogan wraps her up his strong arms and she rests her head on his chest. He knows Xavier and Nicole have always had a special bond growing up. Pulling back so he can look her in her tear-filled eyes.

"Okay first off Xavier loves you and there is no way you can lose him even if you tried. He would fight the world for you. Sure, you haven't been around but he understands that you needed to get away and do your own thing to become this amazing person that you are. He is so proud of you Nicky, we all are. And secondly these new friends of his are going to adore you plus your sexy..." He wiggles his eyebrows at her making her laugh. "...and you do remember who the hell you are right? They would be idiots not to like you."

"Thank you." She lays her head back down on his chest. "I missed you Keo."

"I missed you to little sis." He drops a kiss on her head before stepping back. "Now you need to get out of here so we can start our guys night without you looking over our shoulders the whole time."

"Are you sure you are going to be okay alone?"

"Yes!" He turns her around starting to move her towards the door. "Besides Zadin is here, so you know there is at least responsible person here even if he is just 14. Now go have fun!"

-x-x-

Wynonna drops down on the stool next to Xavier and Doc taking shot from Xavier's hand and throwing it back.

"Hey thatâ€¦ was mine." He just sighs and signals the bartender to bring him another.

The club is packed full and the music pumping. Everyone is having fun celebrating Wynonna's birthday.

Waverly comes skipping over dropping down in her sister's lap with the others following her to the bar.

"Having fun baby girl?"

"Yes! Dolls your amazeballs for getting us in here." She pinches his cheek and he swats her hand away.

"Yeah, who knew old Dolls here had actual useful connections?" Eliza says taking a seat next to the man.

"I'll remember that next time you come to me with that big old puppy dog eyes needing a favour."

"So, where is this sister of yours?" Doc asks sipping on his drink.

"Yes, I want to meet her." Jeremy says way to excited, clearly the alcohol already starting to affect him.

"She actually just texted me she's outside, ah there she is." He points over to the door with the glass in his hand.

Everyone whips their head around to catch the first glimpse of the big man's sister.

"Holy shit." Wynonna whispers.

Waverly can hear the clank her jaw makes when it hits the floor. This is nothing like the shy nerdy girl Dolls described to them. This woman screamed confidence and drop dead gorgeous.

Wearing grey Vans, tight black jeans, a white tanktop under a black blazer with the faux leather sleeves pushed up to her elbows to reveal her strong tattooed arms and her short red hair framing her face perfectly. Waverly shivers as she watches the woman walk closer to them smiling her dimpled smile at her brother making her brown eyes sparkle in the flashing neon lights.

"Nicky." Xavier walks closer her pulling her into a big hug and lifting her off of the floor.

"Wow, easy there tiger." Placing her back on the ground her moves her over to his friends.

"Everyone this is my sister Nicole Haught, and these are my friends Eliza, Jeremy, Wynonna, Waverly, Rosita and John but we just call him Doc."

Nicole smiles politely at everyone, her eyes lingering a little longer on Waverly, making the young Earp blush.

"Its nice to meet you all. Oh and happy birthday Wynonna."

"I have to admit it with the way Dolls talks about you I expected a lot more Doogie Howser and a lot less tattoos." Wynonna says waving at the redhead's appearance.

Nicole laughs.

"Yeah I was kind of a nerd in school, but a lot changed after graduation."

"I'll drink to that!" Wynonna downs another shot. "Now that everyone is here let's get this party started." She makes her way back out onto the dance floor dragging everyone with her to the dance floor.

Xavier just shrugs throwing his arm around his sister's shoulders before joining the others on the dance floor.

-x-x-

Everyone is having a great time dancing, drinking and grindingâ€¦ a lot of grinding going on. Waverly makes her way through the moving bodies until she finally reaching the bar. She flags down the bartender getting her a bottle of water, the alcohol has been flowing all night, by the birthday girl's insistence, Waverly thankfully wasn't drunk yet but had just a nice buzz going. After drinking half of the bottle she feels a presence next to her, turning her head she finds Nicole leaning against the bar next to her.

"Waverly Earp, sister of the birthday girl."

"That's me."

"Your sister is..." Nicole trails off.

"Crazy?" Waverly provides.

"Interesting." Nicole instead says making them both laugh.

"Yeah she is something all right. I always think someone needs to give Dolls a prize for not murdering her."

"He's a saint alright, hey can I ask you why do call Xavier Dolls?" Nicole has been burning to ask the question all night.

Waverly giggles.

"Oh that one is all Wynonna. They just started to worked together when Wynonna found out about Xavier's action figure collection and so Dolls was born."

"What I wouldn't give to have known that nickname when we were growing up." Nicole says wishfully taking a sip of her drink.

"You guys fight a lot?"

"All the time. I was adopted by our parents when I was 12 so being a hormonal teenage girl with 3 brothers made for some wild fights, but trust me I could stand my own between all that testosterone." She says proudly grinning at Waverly.

"You have 3 brothers?"

"Yes, Xavier is the oldest. Then there is Keogan, he is 2 years older than me and his is musician, his band is actually pretty good. Zadin id the baby he is 14 and a real little computer nerd." Nicole says fondly, Waverly can clearly see the love she has for her brothers shining in her eyes. "How about you, is it just you and Wynonna?"

"Uh, no we have an older sister Willa but we haven't seen her in some time." Waverly looks at the water bottle in her hand not making eye contact.

"Oh," Is all Nicole can say, somehow she has stumbled upon a taboo subject.

"So, Dolls says you're a chef?" Waverly says after a moment.

"Yes." Nicole quickly jumps at the change of subject. "Yes, I am a chef."

"Is that why you moved back to Atlanta?" Nicole nods.

"I had a great opportunity come up and I couldn't say no."

"That's great. Does this mean I will get to taste your culinary genius anytime soon?"

"That depends."

"Depends on what?"

Nicole leans closer like she is about reveal a big secret.

"Depends if you'll be staying for dessert."

Nicole can see the instant her words registers in the young Earp's mind by the bright pink colour that covers her cheeks. Nicole internally smirks but decides to take mercy on the girl.

"What about you, you a bounty hunter like your sister and Xavier?"

"Oh no, to much ruff housing for me. I'm a student, history major."

"Wow, so I take it you're the brains in the family then?" Waverly giggles and Nicole swoons at the sound.

Before they know it they have moved to a table in the far corner of the club where both of them are laughing as they talk, getting to learn more about each other and just enjoying the other woman's company.

"My boyfriend Champ travels a lot. His dad owns this big international company and with Champ in line to succeed him he is constantly sending him on business trips all over the world."

"That must suck him being away so often."

Waverly just shrugs playing whit her water bottle.

"Excuse me." They both look over to see a tall blonde woman standing next to there table. "I don't mean to interrupt but I just wanted to know if you maybe want to dance?" She asks holding her hand out to Nicole.

Nicole looks to Waverly and she quickly waves it off telling her she should go dance.

"Sure, I would love to." She takes the blonde's hand letting herself be let away. Glancing over her shoulder she sees Waverly watching her with a frown before giving her a small smile when she locks onto brown eyes.

-x-x-

By the end of the night Dolls is helping Eliza into the back of the taxi, Jeremy is already passed out against the other side's window with Rosita snuggled up against him. When Eliza is finally safely inside Doc walks up to them.

"I'll get these two home if you can take care if those two?" He motions to where Wynonna is clinging onto Waverly to stay up right.

"Thanks Doc." He pats him on the back before making his way over to them.

"How did you guys get here?" Nicole asks.

"I'll just call us another taxi." Xavier says already pulling out his phone.

"Don't do that, my car is just down the street I'll just take everyone home."

"But-" Waverly wants to protest but Nicole quickly sooths her worries.

"Its okay, I didn't drink anything only sodas."

"Okay." Waverly agrees.

They follow Nicole down the street to where her car is parked, Dolls practically having to carry Wynonna.

"Holy cheese balls that's your car?!" Wynonna freaks out. "No wonder you got all those girls grinding all up on you."

"That's not..." She looks at Waverly who just raises an eyebrow at her. "There's no girls."

"So I take it being chef pays well?" Waverly asks buckling into the passenger seat, Dolls having taken the back with Wynonna.

"I do okay."

Dolls open the back window thinking maybe some fresh air will help sober up the older Earp a little.

"Yoh ginger ninja put some music on." Wynonna all but yells in Nicole's ear as she dives in between the redhead and her sister making the two in front of the car jump as Wynonna starts to fiddle with the music controls.

Flipping from one song to the next until she comes across Nickelback's Must Be Nice.

"I love this song!" Wynonna squeals as she tries to turn up the volume but Dolls pulls her back to the back of the car.

"Of course you do." An amused Nicole turns the volume up for the over excited birthday girl.

Wynonna starts to sing along really loud and off tune with her over exaggerated hand gestures and impromptu air guitars making the others in the car laugh.

"Oh no you don't." Dolls quickly grabs her around the waist as she sticks her head out of the window singing at the top of her lungs.

Nicole looked at Waverly who is smiling at her, she looks up making eye contact with Xavier in the mirror before looking back at Waverly a large smile breaking out on her face. When the chorus starts again she and Waverly joins Wynonna in her crazy singing. Xavier just rolls his eyes at the girls, maybe he should have traded with Doc.

Pulling up to the apartment building Waverly navigated her to Nicole turns off the engine.

"Okay Earp time to get you into bed." Xavier tries to manoeuvre the semi conscious woman.

"Damn Dolls, at least buy a girl dinner first." She slurs.

"You'd be so lucky Earp." They hear him say as he finally gets her out of the car. They watch Wynonna fight against Dolls helping her stay up right until he finally had enough and just throws her over his shoulder carrying her towards the building.

"Thank you for the ride Nicole."

"You are very welcome." Waverly smiles that adorable smile at Nicole making swoon at the sight.

"It was really nice to meet you. Hopefully I will get to see you again soon."

"Yeah, me too." She takes a hold of the door handle. "Good night Nicole."

"Good night Waverly Earp." With that Waverly exits the car, turning around to wave at the chef before going into the building.

Inside the apartment she makes sure Wynonna is okay on the couch where Dolls placed her. She pulls a blanket over her sister and moves a bucket next to her head, and a bottle of water and pain killers on the table next to her.

She finally makes her way into her bedroom kicking off her shoes freeing her aching feet. After going to the bathroom and changing into her sleepwear she climbs into bed. A strong arm wraps around her waist and rough lips kiss her shoulder.

"Have fun with your friends?" Champ's sleepy voice asks.

"Yes, it was awesome. We got to meet Dolls sister." Waverly smiles at the memory of the redhead.

"Great." He mumbles already half asleep.

Yes tonight was great, Waverly thinks to herself before she drifts off.

-x-x-

Nicole opens the door to her apartment with Xavier close behind her. When she steps inside she can't help but smile at the sight in front of her. Angelo and Zuko are sprawled out on the couch fast asleep, Amos is on the floor leaning against the couch sleeping with the game controller still his hand. Zadin being the only one still awake sitting in front of the large TV engrossed in the game he is playing. Keogan is passed out in the love seat with a sleeping Luca snuggled up to his chest.

"Keogan." Nicole whispers kneeling down next to her brother.

"Hey sis." He says his blinking open.

"Looks like you guys had fun." She looks around at the mess they created of her apartment.

"Yes, some serious male bonding."

"I'm sure. But it's time for this little male to go to bed." She says lifting the sleeping 11 month old out of Keogan's arms. "Thanks again for watching him."

"No problem, I love spending time with my little nephew." He gets up from the chair looking at the rest of his band members all in different stages of awake. "Okay you hobos time to head out."

"You guys can stay at my place if you want?" Dolls offers standing at the door with Zadin next to him ready to go.

They all quickly agree and head across the hall to Xavier's apartment.

"Xavier." Nicole calls before he can close the door, when his head pops back in she continues. "Thanks for tonight, I needed that."

He just winks at her, before closing the door with one last goodnight.

Looking around at the now quiet apartment, she starts to make her way down the hall. Walking into the room guided by the soft light of the nightlight she carefully manoeuvres the sleeping boy onto the changing table to quickly change his diaper before she places him in his crib. She pulls his little blanket over his body and places his stuffed giraffe, that is almost bigger than him, next to him where he can easily find it. She watches as his tiny belly moves with every breath and his eyelashes flutter. Moving little strands of brown hair out of the way she bends down placing a kiss on his forehead.

"Sleep tight little man." She whispers.

Turning on the baby monitor she leaves the room. Knowing that she still riding the adrenaline from her night out and sleep was not going to be possible right now she instead heads to the kitchen. The fancy top of the line kitchen equipment shining brightly when she flips on the light. She starts pulling out ingredients she will need to create her midnight snack.

-x-x-

The next morning Waverly finds Wynonna sprawled out the couch still recovering from the previous night. Waverly nudges her feet off the couch so she can sit down.

"How are we feeling this fine sunshine morning?"

"Ugh, like death threw up on me." Wynonna mumbles throwing her arm over her eyes to shield out the bright light.

"I'm glad you at least enjoyed your party."

"Hey, sorry about ditching you."

"It was your party you weren't suppose to be worrying about me. Besides I wasn't alone all night I ended up talking to Nicole."

"Dolls sister?" Wynonna drops her arms so she can look at her sister.

"Yeah, turns out she is pretty great."

"You just spent the night drinking with a woman you just met?"

"No, we didn't even drink we just talked and got to know each other." Waverly says sipping from her cup of overly sweet coffee.

"Hold on, what?" Wynonna asks sitting up, still looking completely confuse. Waverly takes her sister by her shoulder looking her in the eye.

"While you drunk yourself stupid I made a friend." She explains.

"So, this Nicole is interesting enough to keep you talking into the morning hours?" Wynonna asks taking the water bottle and pain killers from the table.

"She is not what I expected." Waverly says with a shrug hiding her smile behind her cup.

-x-x-

At noon Nicole makes her way over to the apartment across the hall. She is balancing Luca on her hip and a death grip on the takeout bag in her free hand. After knocking she hears a thump before Xavier opens the door drenched in sweat as he was clearly busy working out. He whips his hands and face on the towel before motioning for his sister to come in, as she walks past him he takes the little boy from her arms. Luca sequels as Xavier blow a raspberry on his tummy.

"Luca my main man, did you have fun with uncle Keogan and Zadin last night?" He asks walking further into the apartment.

"I brought food." Nicole places the brown paper bag on the kitchen counter.

Xavier walks into the living room placing Luca down next to his toy box that has found permanent residency in the living room. He instantly starts pulling toys out to play with, well mostly chew on.

"What did you get?" He asks as he opens the bag.

"Greasy cheese burger and fries."

"Ah, you spoil me." He says taking out a couple of fries and popping them in his mouth.

Nicole grabs an apple before hopping onto the counter opposite her brother.

"You not hungry?"

"Unlike you my dear brother I rather not flood my system with grease." She emphasises her point by taking a bite out of the apple, Xavier just sticks out his tongue at her showing her his half chewed up bite of burger. "Nice, now I see where my son learned that."

"I'm his uncle I'm suppose to teach him valuable life skills right Luca?"

The boy just lets out a string of garbled noises in conformation making the two adults laugh.

"So, looks like you and Waverly Earp hit it off last night." He says waving a fry in the air, Nicole just looks down at her half eaten apple trying to hide her blush.

"Yeah she is pretty great."

"Great enough to get you to let loose a little."

"You say that like I never do anything fun."

"Oh your bucket of fun when your with little man over there. But ever since you got pregnant it's like you're afraid to do anything remotely fun."

"I have responsibilities now Xavier I can't just go out partying every night I need to think of Luca first."

"I know that and you're an amazing mom, but I think you need to have some time where you are not mommy Nicole or chef Nicole but just Nicole."

"It's just hard you know." She says in a small voice not being able to stop from looking over where her son is happily playing.

Xavier walks over to the chef wanting to pull her into a hug but she stops him before he can get to close.

"No way, your all sweaty and gross."

Xavier just laughs before walking back to his meal.

"What did you and Waverly get up to last night?"

"Nothing much, we just talke... a lot. I can't explain it, I just never felt such a strong connection with someone before. It was like we have known each other for years and not just a few hours. I could spend hours talking to her and never get bored. She is just so smart and funny and-"

"In a relationship." Xavier cuts in.

"I know." Nicole looks down at her apple suddenly not hungry anymore.

"But you wish she wasn't." Nicole slowly lifts her eyes to look at her brother and nods. "Hey I get it, Waverly is really great and she is hot, really hot."

"Your point?" She asks throwing the apple in the trash.

"I can see why you would be drawn to her, but she can't offer you anything more than friendship."

"I'm not an idiot Xavier I know that." She says starting to get annoyed.

"I just don't want to watch you fall for the girl you can't have and have your heart broken." He says sincerely.

"Like you said she is hot so of course I'm attracted to her but it doesn't mean I will ever act on it. Maybe your right, I just need to get out more."

"You need to get laid."

"Hey!" She punches him on his arm. "Kid in the room."

"It's not like he knows what I'm talking about."

"Still, his mind is like a little sponge I rather him not hear things he shouldn't be repeating."

Xavier snort.

"Oh can you just imagine mom's face if she hears her precious little angel say that." Nicole joins in laughing as well. "But it still doesn't mean it's not true."

"Yeah yeah."

-x-x

It's Friday night and Waverly is in her best dress. Champ had decided they were going to go out with their families tonight to some fancy restaurant that just opened up recently called Polo. Wynonna almost jumped through the roof when she found out where they were going, apparently the head chef is some big shot who have worked in all of the best restaurants across the world and Wynonna being the self proclaimed food guru was basically vibrating in excitement about being able to eat there.

Gus and Curtis were already waiting at the restaurant with Champ's parents when they arrived.

"You ready babe?" Champ asks taking of his seatbelt, Wynonna being the first out of the car.

Waverly just gives him a fake smile and nods.

Waverly looks around amazed at the fancy dÃ©cor of the restaurant it was all dark wood and chandeliers.

"Good evening and welcome to Polo." The hostess greats them.

"We have reservations under Hardy."

"Ah yes the rest of your party have already arrived, if you would follow me I will show you to your table."

The follow the woman in her expensive black dress, Waverly is still a little taken back by the beautiful place but then she sees her uncle Curtis waving at them and instantly feels more relaxed at his warm smile. Champ is immediately pulled into a business conversation with his father while the Earp girls get settled.

"How cool is this place?" Wynonna asks sitting down next to Gus as she looks around like a kid in a candy store. Gus looks at Waverly with a raised eyebrow.

"She has been like this the whole way over here, apparently the head chef is like her spirit animal or something." Waverly explains.

"Hello everyone I'm Katherine and I will be your server tonight."

Dale, Champ's father, orders a bottle of wine for the table and Katherine quickly runs off to get it.

"This menu looks amazing, Champ I hope you are ready to swipe that credit card until the plastic burns." Wynonna says as her eyes dart across the menu items.

"I'm not going to believe I'm saying this but I agree with Wynonna everything looks delicious." Gus says.

"Yes, we have been here before and I have to say their food is rather exquisite." Mary Hardy comments as her husband and son are still talking amongst themselves.

Katherine comes back with the wine poring everyone a glass.

"Is everyone ready to order?"

Everyone places their order and Katherine leaves again.

Dale nods at Champ and he clears his throat getting everyone's attention.

"Um, now that everyone is here there is something I would like to say." He turns in his chair to face his girlfriend. "Waverly, these last two years with you have been awesome and I think it's time we take this relationship to the next level." Kneeling down next to her chair he pulls out a little blue box. "Waverly Earp, will you marry me?"

Waverly stares wide eyed at the big diamond ring, looking up at everyone at the table seeing their faces in a range of different emotions. Looking back down at Champ's goofy smile she swallows before answering.

"Yes."

The people at the table cheer as he slips the ring onto her finger, getting up he pulls her into a heated kiss. Sitting back down Dale pats him on the back in congratulations. Waverly is still looking in shock down at the ring on her finger when she is suddenly pulled into frenzy of hugs.

Katherine congratulates them as well when she comes over with their starters. The rest of the meal consists mostly out of wedding talk, while Waverly is still processing what just happened. By the time dessert is ordered Gus and Mary have already pulled out a notebook to start making wedding arrangement, those two working together that should get interesting Waverly thinks to herself.

"Gotta pee." Wynonna suddenly says before running off.

As desert is being served the head chef comes out to great some of the guests, making her way around the room until she gets to their table.

"I hear congratulations are in order." Waverly's head snaps up at the familiar voice.

"Chef Haught the meal was fantastic as expected." Dale says shaking the woman's hand.

"Thank you sir but please call me-"

"Nicole." The chef's eyes snaps up to her and Waverly can see the surprise in her eyes.

"Waverly." She breaths out making the young Earp smile even bigger. Waverly feels Champ place his arm on the back of her chair and clearly Nicole sees it as well, she shakes her head clearing her thoughts. "You're the couple who got engaged?"

Waverly holds up her left hand with an unsure smile.

"Congratulations." She almost forces out. "Please enjoy a bottle of champagne on us."

"That's very kind of you." Curtis says, and Nicole just gives him a polite smile.

"Body art, what are you doing here?" Nicole spins around to see a confused Wynonna, her eyes look lock on the redhead's black chef jacket. "Holy Gordon Ramsey you're the head chef here."

"That I am."

"I'm totally going to kick Dolls ass tomorrow for keeping this from me."

"Wait you guys know each other?" Gus asks pointing between the three girls.

"Nicole is Dolls little sister." Waverly explains and Gus nods.

"I hope you have a pleasant evening, but I must get back to the kitchen." With one last smile Nicole is gone.

"Can you believe Dolls didn't tell us she is the head chef here?" Wynonna asks sitting back down and taking a bite of her dessert. "Oh wow, that woman is a food wizard if I was him I'd be the size of a house."

Waverly just nods still looking in the direction the chef just fled. When Champ kisses her cheek she snaps back and smiles at him before rejoining the table conversation.

On their way out of the restaurant Waverly stops when she hears someone calling her name. Turning around she sees Nicole walking up to her.

"Hey." The chef says when she stops in front of her with a smile.

"The food was absolutely amazing."

"Great I'm glad you enjoyed it." She pulls a small silver box from behind her back. "I just wanted to give you this."

Waverly takes it carefully like it might break at any second.

"What is it?"

"Just a little 'congratulations on getting engaged' gift." Nicole says like its no big deal.

"Thanks." Nicole gives her a smile before pointing over her shoulder

"I better get back."

"Okay, thanks for this." She motions to the box.

"You're very welcome Waverly Earp." With that she rushes off back to the kitchen.

Waverly cradles the box against her as she walks out to where Champ is waiting for her.

#wynonna earp #wayhaught #wayverly earp #nicole haught #fanfiction #fanfic #wayhaught fanfic #fic #romance #humor #chapter 1 #365 ways #onceuponaheda

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number9580-blog · 7 years

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Butch, Genderqueer, Genderfluid, Genderfuck and Trans Blogs to watch out for

The big sexy, hot, smart, fierce, masculine, amazing, handsome, strong, sweet, thoughtful, bulging, turgid list of Butch, Genderqueer, Genderfluid, Genderfucking, Masculine-of-Center and Trans Blogs

The other day, I realized I had a hunger for new butch blogs to read. So I started trolling blogrolls and then realized ‘butch’ doesn’t cover all of what I’m looking for. What really peaks my interest are people talking about and living outside the gender binary. Though I started with a blogroll category of “Butches to Watch Out For”, I’ve changed that to “Bend it like …” because what I’m really trying to get at is the gender bending, defying the default gender system in favor of something that works for all of us.

I always feel a thrill when I find new blogs where the authors are exploring gender, pushing the envelope and redefining the definitions. Because my personal exploration is being done from the perspective of someone who started life female, bloggers who are on similar journeys appeal to me. I want to compare notes, I want to find new words, new ways of describing the smell, taste, sound and feeling of female-born masculinity. I now have a pretty good collection, some are friends I’ve met or chatted with, some are blogs I’ve found through the blogrolls of others. In each case, I’ve found s0me kind of kinship, something I can relate to and learn from.

It’s kind of funny that in the midst of building up my list of butches and others who bravely break stereotypes every day in diverse situations and lives, I found that ridiculous WikiHow article on How to Be a Butch. Clearly, the authors of that article haven’t met very many butches. I’m not going to be foolish enough to write a How To guide for butches, but I do invite you to visit these and look for others.

New as of 5/8/2014

Hudson’s FTM Resource Guide: now that I’m in the midst of evaluating options for medical transition, this website has become indispensable to me. Full of detailed, factual, non-judgmental information on all the things that come up for someone who is looking at options for transition from female assigned at birth to … something else on the masculine side. I especially geeked out on the explanation of the different formulations of testosterone, including chemical structure diagrams and the pros and cons of each formulation.

New as of 8/20/2013

NeutroisNonsense: I surprised myself the other day by finding out I hadn’t already added this blog, written by my friend Micah. Micah’s beginning to make a name around non-binary identities, asexuality and non-binary transitioning. Micah is one of my favorite people and has a lot of really smart, informative things to say about gender, identity and talks about the challenges and rewards of navigating through a binary world as a non-binary person. One of my trans* heroes,

Learning How To Tell You, BD Swain: This is a butch erotic blog after my own heart (or maybe somewhere lower). BD joins Sinclair Sexsmith and I in the very rare world of butch erotic writers and does it with pants tightening style. ”My name is BD Swain. I’m a butch dyke who enjoys writing queer smut – not just because it’s fun, but because sex and pushing my sexual expression is what makes me feel most alive. I am turned on by trust and by pushing the boundaries of it.”

New as of 4/12/2013

ButchOnTap: blogger Butch Jaxon says, “I see the world in a particular way. This blog is about how I see the world, both the good stuff (like beer) and the bad stuff (like idiots), but hopefully always funny.” Though I don’t always see eye to to eye with this blogger on all things butch, that hardly matters because it’s a big enough definition for all of us. This blogger has had a couple of articles on HuffPost (look for Tristan Higgins), will probably have more in the future, and is definitely a Butch to Watch Out For.

LGinDC: formerly the blogger known as G, of Can I Help You Sir, now in DC finding her way amongst the monuments and government entities, here’s what she has to say about herself and the blog, “I’m tall. I’m a smart-ass. I like eating with chopsticks. I’m butch. I love the Chicago Cubs and Bears. I’ve broken my nose twice. I love animals. I look horrible in yellow. I’m engaged. I love bourbon. I’m equally enamored with Beyonce and Ron Swanson. I’ll try just about anything once. I’m Irish. I live in Washington, DC. I’m a Scorpio. And I write about things.”

Genderqueer Pie Please: [no updates since 12/2013] blogger Jake Jacobsen says, “Genderqueer isn’t a new movement, it isn’t even a movement, or new, it’s been around a long, long time, as long as I can remember. Ways of being “out”, seen, heard, and conceptualized are continuously being created through our use of language, and not just by the so called sexual minority, but by everyone. Genderqueer is one of those fairly recent creative wordage attempts at redefining a lived experience of gender that is a reality for a portion of the population.”

The Brown Boi Project is a community of masculine of center womyn, men, two-spirit people, transmen, and our allies committed to transforming our privilege of masculinity, gender, and race into tools for achieving Racial and Gender Justice. These are great, energetic, dynamic people who are dedicated to their mission. If this is of interest to you, check out their website and get involved.

New as of 5/16/2012

Trans Vocals: [inactive] I’m glad to see my friend, Holden, is coming back to the blog-o-sphere. He’s got a new blog, Trans Vocals, and will be talking about his transformation and transition. I’m very happy to see this thoughtful, intelligent person generously offering to share his insights and progress with the rest of us.

New as of 05/12/2011

fuckyeahbutches: this is a tumblr on the theme of butches, from Jenny Shimizu, to old school butches to butches like, well, me. Check it out for eye-candy or for images of people who remind you of you and your friends.

Butch Wonders: this blog shows great promise with posts pondering the potential adverse effects of wearing a tie to interviews, defending her choice to wax and shave, and a great post on Butch Buddies.

New as of 04/19/2011

thoughts ON: [last post 12/2013] blogger Andy posted on the topic of being trans, but not enough to transition, for more on Andy’s thoughts on this ‘middleground’, read I AM trans. I just don’t try very hard. From Andy’s bio: Andy is a recent college graduate living in New England. When not engaged in queer activism Andy spends a lot of time kayaking, reading, and trying to change the world with a combination of twitter, church, and positive thinking while trying to decide on future plans which may, or may not, include ministry; but that’s the direction things are leaning right now. Andy works for various LGBTQ organizations and loves them all dearly.

(L)earned Masculinity: [last post 7/2012] this blogger used to post on a blog called Break it Down, Butch, but recently transitioned to this new space, acknowledging his passage from butch identified to trans identified. Add this one to your readers and follow DK on their journey down the genderbrick road. DK’s about page contains this line, one of my favorites found in anyone’s biography: My soul is blue and smells faintly of cedar.

Debonairgeek: I’m a nice guy. I am just trying to find my voice. Em wrote a post called,Deep Thoughts, talking about being butch and genderqueer and I really relate to almost all of what they’re saying. And, if you’ve ever wondered when and how to ‘pop your collar’ (and even if you haven’t), you should read this: entertaining, informative, funny.

MTF Butches (tumblr): This tumblr was inspired by the existence of other amazing tumblrs such as Fuck Yeah Cute Trans Chicks, Fuck Yeah FTMs, Femme FTM, as well as others. This page is meant to provide an additional empowering space for the multitude of trans* gender expressions. This is an inclusive space for the celebration of all butch, futch, butch-femme switches, grrls, genderqueer, genderfluid and other likewise MTF spectrum folk out there! Let’s represent some butch trans women!

Fuck Yeah FTMs (tumblr): Tumblr dedicated to FTMs, genderqueers, and others along that spectrum. Submissions are accepted, but moderated and you should follow the theme of the day: Muscle Mondays, Topless Tuesdays, We Wednesdays, Underwear Fridays, Fuzzy Sundays. Check the submission link for more information and guidelines.

New as of 01/25/2011

Gendercast: Our Transmasculine Genderqueery: Podcasts hosted by Sean Leao and Jessie. So far there are two podcasts, plus audio biographies from the hosts. Gendercast is a podcast looking to build community and we are encouraging participation at every turn. We speak to the entire transmasculine community, including genderqueer identified and beyond and of course, those who love them!

A Butch in the Kitchen. This blog gets into the nitty gritty of cooking butch with recipes, techniques and even some kitchen gear for the butch kitchen queer. She says she’s a novice but I’ll be her skills are just ready to be discovered. So far there are two recipes up: Cherry cobbler and ice cream bread. As a Butch Baker, I’m intrigued by these, but also looking forward to ideas in the appetizers and main courses categories. Butch in the Kitchen has a list of other food sites to check out and will also take submissions of recipes and photos from other cooks. I’m also wondering if anyone’s doing a Butch Cocktails site… hmmm.. maybe there’s a market for that. Follow this butch on twitter, as Butchndakitchen.

New as of 1/12/2011

Mixing it Up, JizLee.com: Genderqueer porn star, certifiably sexy individual, Jiz Lee says this about their blog — It’s a website and blog I run as a vehicle to share my experiences of sex and gender, film and photography. I hope it can provide a resource to queers and allies out there interested in my projects or wanting to find someone like themselves represented in the work I do and the ideas I express. Follow Jiz on twitter, check out their performances in the Crash Pad Series, the movie Champion and anywhere else you can. My personal connection is fleeting but squee worthy: I met Jiz at the New York City Sex Bloggers Calendar party in 2009 and mentioned I had this blog.. which Jiz totally knew about “Oh! You’re Kyle!” *hug* .. but that’s not all, Roxy introduced herself and got a very long, full body hug. I think that means Jiz approves of my taste in women

New as of 12/29/2010:

ButchLab: Sinclair Sexsmith’s latest contribution to the community: The mission of the Butch Lab Project is to promote a greater understanding of masculine of center gender identities, expressions, and presentations, through encouraging: 1. visibility, because we feel alone; 2. solidarity, because there are many of us out there, but we don’t always communicate with each other; and 3. an elevation of the discussion, because we have a long history and lineage to explore and we don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Follow @butchlab on twitter as well.

On Being Butch: a very new and shiny butch-oriented blog by J-Rob, “I’ve only recently come to realize that butch is my gender, not just a role I play, and that has opened a lot of space for me to be who I am. Again, it’s odd, I’m 33 and I have been who I am my whole life, but I’m only just starting to understand what “who I am” actually means.”

Butch.org: by Jenni Olson, director of e-commerce at WolfeVideo.com and an LBGT queer cinema historian. Author of The Queer Movie Poster Book (2005, Chronicle Books), Jenni was also one of the founders of PlanetOut.com where she established the massive queer film industry resource, PopcornQ. She continues to write about queer films, as well as curating, collecting, and creating them. Her feature debut, The Joy of Life is now available on DVD.

Added 11/16/2010

Lesbian Neurotica, by Ulla, a butch dyke in South Africa who writes and draws cartoons and leaves thoughtful comments on a lot of the blogs I read.

Added 10/12/2010

A Stranger in This Place, by Wendi, who describes herself as “a motorcycle riding butch lesbian, retired accountant turned photographer and writer searching for her purpose in life and learning to enjoy the ride.” Wendi’s working on a book and participated in the Gender/Queer Spoken Word event for BV PDX on Sunday. I’m looking forward to reading more from Wendi.

Words of a Boi, by Jessie. This writer read something written during Sinclair’s writing workshop that stuck with me.. so much so that I instantly recognized it when I saw it on their blog a few days later. It’s a beautiful work of prosecomparing gender to a flower. This writer uses poetry, wonderful imagery and an openness that is very engaging.

Added 8/2/2010

Andi HB’s blog. Andi is a butch I met through twitter and another person who met and fell in love with someone through twitter (hey hey, Missy). Yes, the west coast butch fell for the Nawlins femme… can’t wait to see the Disney version. Andi’s a fan of all things Irish, the New Orleans Saints and, of course, Missy. Her latest post featured a damn fine pair of butch shoes. You can follow her on twitter as @andi_hb.

bracketabracket: [a] is a new blogger, just discovering the world of butch, trans, genderqueer, poly, BDSM blogs, since mid-june ’10, has been offering insights and stories of his own. Check out [a]‘s blog for posts about Transgender issues, BDSM and kink, Sex, Love, Relationships, Theater, Art, Politics.

Added 6/25/2010

Bron’s blog, Duct Tape Tomatoes, is new since May of this year, but already has me pulled in with her charm and honesty. I really, really love reading stories about people becoming themselves, it’s not only inspiring, it refuels me. The latest one that I really loved was The Manicure… butch gets mani/pedi, freezes at nail polish choices and plays Mario Brothers with new little brother.

Dear Diaspora isn’t a new blog, and a lot of you probably already read it, but I’m new to S. L. Bond’s view of the world. And that view, as communicated on DD is that of a Jewish Dyke and art student living in New Mexico.

Bee Listy is another blogger who’s been at it a while, Bee is a crafty, savvy butch who writes on a variety of topics. One post that really struck home with me recently was You know what’s awesome?, where Bee speaks of her frustration over the Butch-Trans border wars and wonders why some people don’t think there’s enough masculinity to go around for all those who want to claim it. Bee tweets as Beelisty.

Original list

Sugarbutch Chronicles: my gateway into the world of butch blogging and one of the most popular blogs around. Sinclair Sexsmith’s blog is your guide to sex toys, gender awareness and butch sexuality. After stalking Sinclair through blog posts and twitter for a long time, was happy to finally meet her in person at the New York Sex Bloggers Calendar Party last November. Over two years ago, when I discovered Sugarbutch Chronicles, what first caught my attention was the idea of butch erotic writing, which eventually led to the existence of Butchtastic. Sinclair lent support, practical advice and encouragement and has been a great source of inspiration. Sinclair tweets as @mrsexsmith.

Packing Vocals: Holden is one of my favorite butch erotic writers, a family guy, a snappy dresser and a good friend. Married to one of my favorite femmes, Femmeismygender, Holden tweets as @packingvocals.

NattNightly: Natt isn’t blogging as much anymore, but if you love beautiful writing and honest accounts of self-discovery and gender, it’s worth your time to read through the archives. I’ve been moved to tears more than once, from the sheer painful rawness of some stories and also from a severe case of writer’s envy. Having met and spent time with this super cool, super smart butch, I can say without question, Natt is very tall and is a lot of fun to hang out with. Natt tweets as @nattnightly.

Just Like Jesse James: This Seattle butch is an unabashed Cher fan and will also discourse at length on the virtues of the Golden Girls, if you just give her half a chance. Jesse blogs about Cher, life with her girlfriend and dog and the various other critters who inhabit their lives. Another blogger I’ve had the good fortune to meet and hang out with in real life, we live close enough to do it again, and we’re gonna, so watch out world. Jesse James tweets as @justjessejames.

Mina Meow/Aiden Fyre: Depending on when you meet this blogger you might think.. “Wow, hot femme” or “Mmmgrrr, who’s that sexy boi?” and you wouldn’t be wrong either way. Mina/Aiden is exploring gender thoroughly and with the kind of bravery, poise and intelligence we all should aspire to. This blogger writes about gender, sexual politics and how it all fits into the life of a “try-sexual”. I count it as one of the high points of my life that I’ve shared a deep passionate kiss with this hot and sexy blogger (and watched a make-out session with my girlfriend — yes, you should envy me). Follow on twitter as @aidenfyreand/or @minameow.

Butch GirlCat: Leo McCool isn’t blogging anymore but he was one of the first butch bloggers I gravitated to and fell in love with. Leo’s sometimes heart-wrenchingly honest stories about love, relationships and the journey to find his gender home are a must read for anyone else trying to find their way between the gender poles.

X-Ray Introductions: I first became aware of Arron when he was my secret Santa recipient and I sent him a cool metal studded belt and belt buckle. I finally met Arron during a visit to see Roxy in San Francisco. Over the years, I’ve enjoyed Arron’s video product reviews and stories about life. Arron tweets as @amok_.

The Freezing Flames: Firebolt is a genderqueer youth living in India, dealing with the challenges of a family that doesn’t get it in a society that really doesn’t get it. Firebolt is way ahead of where I was at that age, and living under much more trying circumstances, and has my unswerving admiration as a result. Tweets as @fireboltx.

Bren Ryder: Bren is the butch creative genius behind GoodDykePorn and as such, deserves our unending gratitude. Bren works hard to produce real, hot, queer porn with real queers. Bren is someone I know I’ll get to meet someday in RL, and I’m really looking forward to that. Bren tweets as @brenryder.

Jess I Am: Jess is courageous, thoughtful and honest in telling the story of how he went from being a butch to a transman. Life has handed him a lot of challenges in the past couple of years, but with his wife, Tina, at his side, he’s handled those challenges with grace and strength. I almost had the privilege of meeting these two during my trip to NYC, but it didn’t work out, but I have a very strong feeling we’ll all meet up at some point in RL. Jess tweets as @JessIAmBlog.

How to Be Butch: One of the newer blogs on my reader, Harrison doesn’t really try to tell you how to be butch, because, as the banner says “There’s more than one way”. Instead, you get some fun and insightful posts on Harrison’s exploration of butchness and gender and life. Harrison tweets as @HarrisonTB.

Sartorial Butch: A blog about butch fashion, the culinary arts and all around butch goodness. Another of my newer blog habits, SartorialButch is now featured on Butch-Femme.com and tweets as @SartorialButch.

She Called Me Superman: Yondergen’s blog tagline is “writing myself down so I can be found, or followed” and that’s really the goal of most of us who blog, isn’t it? Yondergen explores the butch-masculine-queer gender mix that is the heart of the matter for me as well. Plus baking, relationships, the quandaries of how to express and understand it all.

Musings from the High Speed Rodeo: Rhett’s writing is rapid and rhythmic, filled with great observations, honesty and humor. Rhett is the Asphalt Cowboy, go on over there, y’all, you’re in for a great ride.

Can I Help You, Sir?: Going by the initial, G, this butch blogs about gender, butchness and identity. G tweets as @canihelpyousir and has (had?) a regular feature called the Swoon List.

Lesbian Dad: I’ve had the Lesbian Dad on my reader for a long time. LD writes about her family, posts the sweetest pictures of her daughter and son and talks about parenting, politics and popular culture. My Suburban Butch Dad Reports were inspired by the Lesbian Dad. Follow her tweets @LesbianDad.

The Butchelor: another brave, honest blog from the perspective of a butch lesbian starting to come out as trans. Even though I’m not trans, I find myself relating to guys like this who are born in a body that doesn’t completely match who they are on the inside. It’s personal, it’s real, you should check it out. Tweets as @thebutchelor.

Break It Down, Butch: a blog I’ve discovered recently written by a butch who isn’t afraid to get it all out there. I appreciate the passion and honesty of this blogger and look forward to reading more.

Transitional Life (Life in Transition): Emmett takes us on his journey from butch to trans complete with family drama, changes brought on by testosterone, new names and the other challenges of life. Emmett is a lovely guy, wonderful with animals (he’s a vet tech) and people (especially kids, kids love him) and I wish him all the best as he continues on his journey. He’s got a YouTube channel, labradork1 where he’s been tracking the changes brought on by his transition. Emmett tweets as @friendtopups.

Butch Boo: BB is one of my earliest readers, a Brit Butch Blogger in London who recently posted a lovely grouping of pictures featuring butch footwear.

A Gender Queer View: Natasha Yar-Routh’s place on the web. A married gender queer trans-woman who posts short little nuggets of political observation and thoughts on life. Tweets as @xiomberg.

Gender Me Softly: The only couple-authored blog on my list, this blog is brand new, they just started this month. T. J. and Rhylee Flint share love, lives and blog space. Thad is a butch, likes the word ‘queer’ (so do I) and enjoys cultivating a masculine look through binding and packing. Rhylee is a queer female who’s exploring her gender and gender expression from a more femme perspective.

Gender Outlaw: this is a blog chronicling Joshua Riverdale’s FTM journey. Even though transitioning isn’t for me, I’ve learned a lot from his blog entries, videos and tweets, and appreciate his wit and intelligence. If you are curious about transitioning, or looking for genderqueer related resources (think binding, packing, etc), consider this blog and his website, transguys.com, as great starting points for the personal stories and resources. He’s got some of the best sideburns ever.. I’m totally having some envy over those. Josh tweets as @transguys.

Genderfork: this is a community blog, who’s mission is to support community for the expression of identities across the gender spectrum. They tweet as @genderfork and post profiles of genderqueer/fluid/variant folks.

Get Off My Lawn: wow.. now that’s a pretty grumpy blog title. Read the About Me and see a lot of bullet points.. this blogger loves bullet points, and was highly influenced by popular culture icons such as Matlock, Hank Hill and Mulder and Scully. As grumpy as the blog title is, I find this blogger highly amusing and fun to read, go check it out and see if you feel the same way. Tweets as @benjamin_bex.

Just a Big Guy with a Fun Sense of Sin: S. Bear Bergman’s Live Journal. I got to see Bear on a book reading tour with Ivan Coyote, and bought his book “The Nearest Exit May be Behind You” that night. Bear is a transman, new father and a gifted story teller. Bear tweets as @sbearbergman.

Visibly Transparent: Bear’s husband, Ishai, has a Live Journal as well. He carried their son Stanley and I can relate to his stories about the fertility clinic, pregnancy, birth and parenting.

Love Kills Slowly (tumblr): tumblr account of Val, known on twitter as @rugby8. Val posts pictures of sexy women, and the occasional quote.

somewhere in the middle: Nezu says it best “This is my place for looking at the middle ground of gender identity and sexual preference. And who knows, probably other stuff, too.” I’ve just begun to explore this writer’s musings about butchness, gender, identity and relationships.

TG Stone Butch Journal: Corey Alexander is a well-known queer kink/sex educator and writer. He can be found all over the country at conferences teaching and speaking on topics as diverse as polyamory, butch faggot play, stone sexuality and a myriad of other topics around gender and sexuality. Corey tweets as @tgstonebutch, look for his queer BDSM erotica under the nom de plum, Xan West.

The Man Sam: Son of T: Former female Sam Peterson tells all in this blog about transition. Looking forward to his chest reconstruction surgery thanks to ChestFest2010, Matt is wonderfully honest, funny and self-deprecating — a combination I particularly enjoy. Follow him on twitter as @ThaManSam.

Transfaggotry: Faggot Boi blogs about pronoun anxiety, leaving the lesbian identity behind, and other topics around becoming trans.

Transifesto: Matt Kailey’s place on the web. Matt shares information and his thoughts on transgender and transsexual issues. He’s a nationally recognized speaker and author on transgender issues and tweets as @MattKailey.

Androgynanomous: DPR (Dread Pirate Roberts) is the sweetheart of one of my favorite online people, Scintillectual. DPR just started blogging not long ago, but has already established a rhythm with poetry, musings on gender and sweet, sensual tributes to her lover. Tweets as @dread_pyrate.

butchboi: this site is run by the infamous Leo, of the Big Pink House. This is a site for cruising and networking, for those who identify as butch, boi, trans, gender queer, stud, drag king & their friends. The free membership opens up some features: forums, events and cruising, videos and a chatroom. The Cruising feature is fun, you can hone in your search by age, geography with more features available to subscribers. Check out the tweets from @ButchBoiLeo and @ButchBoi and@BigPinkHouse to keep up with the ButchBoi happenins.

This is the list so far, I like the length and heft of it (heh!) and I really like the diversity. The bloggers on this list have a stories to tell, experiences to share and I will continue to learn a lot from them. The breadth of this group, from the more female identified butch to the more male identified trans, meet the needs I have to explore the many facets and identities within me. There are some super smart people on this list, and funny too… great writers, open-hearted honest people, sometimes frustrated, but trying to make the world a better place for themselves and others. It may be hubris on my part to count myself as one of them, but these people have nurtured, coached and supported my journey as well. Even if we don’t make the same decisions, or come to the same conclusions, we’re all asking the same kind of questions, and questioning the same assumptions.

I encourage you to visit these blogs, read their stories and add them to your regular rotation if they appeal to you. And if I’ve left someone out, someone you think would fit into this list, please be so kind as to introduce me to them.

SOURCE

#genderfluid tag

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memsmedic1 · 7 years

Text

Meetings, training, and travel 05/02/17-05/28/17

The bus arrived at Bangkok’s main bus terminal at 7 PM. I looked up where my first meeting was being held and decided to walk to the area instead of getting a motorbike taxi and make sure I had my bearings before the meeting in the morning.

I was 6 kilometers away from my destination, so first I stopped at a 7/11 which is Thailand’s one stop shop for just about anything delicious besides the markets and roadside stands and picked up some supper.

After a couple hours of walking I arrived in the area and found a hotel for the night since all the businesses were closed and shuttered.

In the morning I discovered that my gps hit was a little off but after asking directions I took a motorbike taxi and made it to my meeting with just a few minutes to spare!

I, along with two other team members were meeting with both the managing director and medical director of a Burmese logistics company who specializes in helping sick or injured patients find quality emergency medical treatment, escort, and evacuation in SE Asian countries.

One of my old friends from the US has done business with their medical director and suggested that we meet and discuss ways to collaborate, and since our ambulance project is bogged down we were looking for another project to work on that will give us hands on patient care in addition to all the training we are involved in.

After the meeting- which was a success- we drove several blocks to find pizza for lunch to celebrate and then we headed off to our second meeting.

This meeting was with the managing director of the AREMT, an international counterpart to the NREMT. Because of all the training we are doing in Myanmar we wanted to partner with an organization that will allow us to offer an internationally recognized certification upon successfully completing our courses.

After the meeting we decided to pursue accreditation and currently both our side and the AREMT are working on finalizing the details.

That evening after my teammates went back to Kanchanaburi I spent one more night in Bangkok before taking a motorbike taxi back to the bus station the next morning.

Because there was still a week and a half before our next training I decided to take the bus up to Chiang Mai and visit some friends for a few days!

After 11 hours on the bus I was at my destination and was picked up by my friends in one of our original Thai ambulances which we had to sell!

Over the weekend I was able to hang out and relax with my friends and their cute children. One day we all piled into the ambulance and drove a couple hours even farther north to the small town of Pai. Pai is well known for the amazingly scenic drive up into the mountains before dropping down into a small valley where the town is. It it also known for its amazing street market that we were hoping to get to in time for lunch!

When we were about 10 km from the town we drove into a wall of torrential monsoon rain and were worried that the market would be completely shut down but when we arrived we were happy to see that we had beat the rain!

After stopping at a giant Buddha that stands guard over the valley and racing up its 250+ stairs with the kids to burn some energy, we drove down to the market.

Barely had we started to look around though when the tropical rainstorm caught up to us and it started pouring. We quickly grabbed some food and retreated back to the safety of the “ambulance”.

On the drive back up out of the valley we were amazed to find that the entire road had flash flooded after we passed and now there were large basketball sized rocks strewn all over the road as well as fallen trees, power lines, and a thick layer of sand and mud in places. We were glad for the knobby tires and high ground clearance as we negotiated all the obstacles!

On Sunday we went rock climbing on some volcanic cliffs outside of Chiang Mai. We climbed three routes including a crevice that was really challenging and a lot of fun!

Early Tuesday morning I had to say goodbye and headed to the bus stop to go visit my friends at Sunshine Orchard on my way back to Myanmar.

Once I arrived at the bus station, I discovered that my options weren’t so fantastic. I could either wait for 1 hour to get a bus that would only take me within 60 miles of the closest songtau circuit or I could wait for 5 hours to get a bus that would go all the way to the songtau route.

So since I still had 5 days until I had to be back I decided to go exploring!

I bought a seat on a small van that was driving to Mae Sariang Thailand which is southwest of Chiang Mai close to the border and several hours north of Sunshine Orchard.

The views along the way were phenomenal. Beautiful jungle mountains with little towns and villages dotted along the way. All the farmers rice paddies are green and lush and there were little well-tended garden patches behind all the huts.

Some of the coolest rice paddies I’ve seen in Thailand were along the way. Because the mountains are so steep the jungle farmers don’t have hardly any arable land so in between each hill they cut into the bases of the hills and widen the area between them to plant in. The cultivated areas are sometimes only 30-50 feet wide and are steeply terraced. They plant the rice in the terraces and it gets watered from rain runoff.

When we were maybe two hours from our destination we drove around a sharp corner and found that a car had failed to make the corner and flown off the very steep edge of the road and become trapped in the trees and vines about 20 feet below the road and 15 or 20 feet above the ground!

Fortunately everybody was out and the police were there and a tow truck was trying to attach his winch to the car so he could pull it down!

After a while we arrived in Mae Sariang. I found it to be a nice town, much smaller than I was anticipating, and not geared towards tourists at all like Pai is.

Striking off in a random direction I found a guesthouse to sleep in and hung out all my wet clothes to hopefully dry over night.

In the morning I went to the market and bought some dragonfruit, mango, and apples and started walking down the road towards Sunshine Orchard eating my breakfast.

I could have just gone to the station and waited for a songtau but I felt like walking and letting one catch up to me.

After 45 minutes a man on a scooter passed me and then turned around and came up beside me. Surprisingly he spoke excellent English and wanted to meet me and find out where I was going. After introducing ourselves and visiting for a few minutes, Mr. Nong San invited me to visit his house and wait for the songtau there.

After agreeing I jumped on the back of the scooter and off we went. On the way we stopped at a little roadside shop where he bought us both something to drink......It was the first locally made energy drink I’d had since I started working in SE Asia- the kind that looks and tastes like it’s made out of bulls blood, monkey testosterone, and caffeine with a shot of fresh coca tea- 😖.

After that experience we drove about 10 minutes further down the road to a very nice house set well off the road and surrounded by potted tropical plants.

After inviting me inside Mr. Nong San made coffee and we sat and talked at the kitchen table. I found out that Mr. Nong San legally immigrated to Thailand from Burma with his family 70 years ago. In 1966 he immigrated again to San Francisco and lived in the USA for 50 years teaching Thai in New York City and other places before retiring and moving back home.

One of his favorite hobbies is coin collecting and he showed me some of his amazing rare coins from the US and around the world. He also is a rare coin seller and urged me to let everyone I know know where to buy the best coins!

After an hour he said that the songtau would come soon and even though he sells coins he gave me a beautiful and rare Thai baht as thanks for visiting him! I gave him a dragonfruit as a token of thanks and got my backpack on.

I thought I would just walk out to the road and wait but Mr. Nong San instead drove me all the way back into town and got me all set with the songtau before going!

The songtau eventually got me to my destination and I spent that afternoon and the next morning with my friends at Sunshine Orchard before continuing on via songtau to MaeSot. I spent one night in MaeSot and crossed the border into Myanmar on the 12th to help finish preparations for the upcoming EMR course.

Monday, May 15 the EMR class went live with 40 students! First there was an opening ceremony with local religious and government leaders giving short speeches, next a emissary group from Taw Win foundation in Yangon that we helped Z-Rescue train gave a speech and donated a projector as a thank you gift. Finally classes could get underway!

Or so we thought… Just after the first lecture had started one of the main sponsors for Z-Rescue who was also helping support this training asked if he could make an announcement. He announced that he would donate the uniform he was wearing to the student with the highest grade, and then he proceeded to strip right up on stage, using a longyi as a changing room!

Just in case that wasn’t a big enough incentive he pulled out a stack of 100,000 kyat (about $75.00) and threw that into the pot also! Of course, this performance got the whole class riled up and laughing and we had to take another break before we could really start.

This training is unique because it’s the first time we’ve had any other instructors besides the ones on our own team, and this time we have 4! So we have high hopes that their training will be dynamic and informative.

The afternoon of the first day of training we were honored to have two of our Swiss and German sponsors visit us. They have assisted us with sponsoring classes before and are finally able to come check us out in person!

By the afternoon of the second day everything was going according to plan when I received a call from the logistics company I had met with in Bangkok. They said they had a critical patient and asked if we could help them. We were still working on the necessary paperwork to allow M-EMS to contract for them, and the proposed start date was still a couple months away because we were still missing some key supplies like a cardiac monitor to be truly ALS.

I reminded them of this and they said that was ok because we were the only in-country team available so I hurriedly packed my backpack and double checked the aid bag and rushed to make it to the bus just before it left (there’s no airport in Myawaddy).

My translator and I took the night bus to Yangon and then took a taxi to the airport where we met the rest of the rescue team, a flight doctor from Bangkok and a communications specialist from the logistics company.

We chartered a Cessna Caravan and took off for towards our patient who was in northwest Rakhine state near the Bangladesh border.

Our flight plan had us at only 12,000 feet, so for most of the way there we were constantly zigzagging around trying to avoid the thunderheads of the monsoon.

The town of Sittwe is situated on a low peninsula in the Bay of Bengal, and as we descended to land I could see dozens of tiny fishing boats and canoes below us on the water.

As our plane touched down there was a loud noise and we suddenly tilted sideways and went shooting off towards the edge of the runway. After vibrating and wallowing to a stop, we climbed out and saw that the left side tire had blown!

The airport sent out a little truck to collect us, and after we got to the terminal we went outside and found the ambulance that was waiting to take us to the patient.

Our patient was a 32 year old French tourist who had tried diving into one of the nearby rivers and found out it wasn’t as deep as it looked. He hit a rock and scalped himself from the top of his head all the way down to his eyebrows.

First he was taken to a local clinic where they controlled the bleeding and then he was transferred to the hospital in Sittwe.

After we got to the hospital we went to the patient and found him laying in an open ward right next to another patient who looked and sounded like he had a terminal case of pneumonia or TB and had a giant unsecured oxygen tank standing upright between their beds.

The patient was extremely relieved to see us, and we were relieved to see that he was as in good shape as he was.

We completed our assessment and cut off the filthy dressing that he had on and discovered that the hospital had done an incredibly hacked up suture job without cleaning underneath first and the wound was starting to become infected. Amazingly he had no cranial or cervical vertebrae fractures per X-ray and no neck pain or neurological deficits. (He did have a headache for some reason though!)

After cleaning as best we could and re-dressing his injury and administering antibiotics we settled down to wait because the flight company had to send a new plane for us!

After we received word that the plane had arrived we loaded up our patient and rode in the ambulance again back to the airport. The airport had towed our old plane off the runway to over in front of the waiting area and the replacement was taxied up right beside it, not a confidence booster for our patient!

The flight back was uneventful and after landing in Yangon my translator and I transferred the patient to the hospital, and after waiting to make sure he was admitted and would be taken care of we took a taxi back to our apartment, exhausted.

We spent a couple days in Yangon waiting to find out if the patient would need to be evacuated out of the country or not and then took the bus back to Myawaddy on Sunday the 21st just in time for the second week of training.

I can’t say about the rest of week one but week two was fun with lots of scenarios and hands on skills practice interspersed in the lectures!

One night we were requested to go to the local hospital to see a patient. One of the government officials who was at the opening ceremony was sick and wanted us to look at him. He was also unhappy with the doctor who was taking care of him and wanted a second opinion.

After arriving at the hospital we were taken to a large open ward with 15 or 30 other patients and after visiting with and assessing our patient concluded that he had probably had a new onset seizure.

We asked the doctor if we could look at any labs or paperwork to confirm or find a differential but he was extremely unhelpful and wouldn’t share any information with us. I went back to the patient and asked if he could remember any medications that he had been given. The patient had a package he showed me that had Valproate which is for seizures!

Since there was nothing we could do for him we wished the patient good luck and a safe transfer to the Thai hospital in the morning and went back to our guesthouse.

After the classroom portion of class was over the final written and practical exams were taken, and overall the students did very well. We only had 3 students fail out of the 30 that stuck it out for the whole two weeks! Our highest scoring student was with a rescue group who came all the way from Sagaing region and he made a 96% on his written final! He was presented with the prize money and clothes from the sponsor in addition to his certificate and was so pleased he couldn’t stop shaking my hand and even smelled the clothes in front of the class 😆.

We had a graduation ceremony and then we packed all our manikins and teaching supplies up and loaded everything into the van In between downpours.

After spending one more day in Myawaddy some of us took the van and some of us took the bus back to our apartment in Yangon arriving on May 28th.

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