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harryhoney-bee · 3 years

Note

Soft sex after show pleaseeeeeeeee.

Lover

Summary: Soft sex with boyfriendrry after the show, plus some domestic love <3

Warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f), and of course, aftercare while showering together.

Word count: 3.3k

A/n: I'm trying to change some aspects of my writing, so please ignore if something is cringe, I'm still learning 😭

Harry had just left the show and the tour bus was getting ready to leave and go to Pittsburgh. The driver, a kind elder called Anthony, was in his private cabin, just waiting for the singer. When he arrived he greeted Anthony and went in the direction of his bedroom, just one person on his mind.

He opened the bedroom door to the pitch-black room and saw Y/n lying peacefully in the bed with her lilac blanket tight around her body, her eyes were closed, and her breathing even. The view in front of him brought warmth to Harry’s chest (considering he was the one who was up with her all night after Y/n had a nightmare and couldn’t go back to sleep).

His poor darling didn’t have a good relationship with sleep. Every night she would take at least one hour to fall asleep, that being one of the reasons she couldn't watch his concerts most of the time. She was just too tired from staying up during the night and would end up enjoying the end of the afternoon to take naps, which would result in Harry leaving for the show and coming to find his lover dreaming.

The singer cursed himself when he felt his body betraying him in such a soft moment, his cock was semi-hard inside his trousers and he knew this wasn’t the time. He was tired from the show and his girlfriend was probably at the point of becoming a zombie because of her insomnia.

Harry wasn’t going to be selfish and wake her up just because his dick didn’t know how to control itself, he should probably go change and take care of it in the bathroom before going to sleep, that was the best option at the moment. It was just very funny to him how horny he would get after every show, he always blamed the adrenaline, but maybe knowing Y/n was at the tour bus waiting for him was also a big factor.

His train of thought wasn’t helping with his situation down there, which made him roll his eyes. He took off his pink shirt, placing it nicely on the hanger while being careful not to wake Y/n up with the noise, he headed to the bed, placing a hand on the mattress for support while taking his pants off, but when he was in the middle of taking his right leg out of the trousers’ confinement he lost his balance, tripping on his own clothes.

“Fuck, this fucking tro–” his cursing was interrupted by Y/n, who turned the lampshade placed on the bedside table on. The girl wore a confused expression on her place, eyes barely opening from the sleepiness.

“H? Is that you? Everything alright?” She asked in a raspy voice, sitting on the bed and watching the comic scene in front of her: Harry standing in an awkward position trying not to fall on the ground while pouting grumpily.

He sat on the bed, finally taking his pants and wearing only his black boxers. He placed his clothes in the closet so he could give them to Lambert first thing in the morning. He made his way back to where Y/n was, kissing her forehead gently.

“So sorry I woke you up, love, my legs are just way too big,” he said playfully, stroking her cheek and looking at her sleepy face, guilty immediately running through his body.”I’m sorry, I know how bad your insomnia is lately. Want me to go make some tea for you? Or think you can go back to sleep now, huh?”

The girl bent over, hugging Harry’s naked chest and placing her head on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ve been sleeping since you went to the arena for the soundtrack, so I got 6 hours of sleep, that’s the longest I've slept in weeks!”

“I think you should see a doctor, maybe they can give you some type of medicine. You can’t keep on doing that, love, one day you’ll end up fainting out of tiredness.” He had been telling her to seek treatment for months now, but she always denied it, as the stubborn person she is.

“I’m just stressed with work, H,” she mumbled. “I thought working on my laptop would be easier, but it’s worse than being at the office,” she said, cradling him so her thighs were around his hips.

He began petting her head. “I’ve already told you that if it’s becoming too much you should quit, ya’ don’t deserve to go through all of that, it’s not healthy. Plus, I could support you as long as you need, actually, I would love to do that.”

She stared at him with a bored expression. “You seriously need to stop offering that, I don’t want to become a trophy girlfriend or anything like that.”

“Well, and I don’t want to see my girlfriend losing sleep because her boss treats her as a robot,” he told her in the same tone, kissing her cheek. “And you’ll never be a trophy girlfriend, if anything I’m your trophy boyfriend.”

Y/n laughed, pecking his mouth. “You’re such a dorky.”

“If by being a dork I can make you laugh like that then yeah, I’m a dork. Just for you, though,” he ran his tongue on her lower lip before kissing her, it started as an innocent kiss, but it quickly turned into a deep make-out session.

Y/n’s hips began rolling against Harry’s lower body, she could feel his hard cock over her sweatpants and she squeezed his biceps. He grabbed her waist, dictating the pace. “Missed you so much, H.”

She didn’t miss him only because he was at the concert, she missed being intimate with him. With her and Harry’s work, it was hard to find some time to themself. Lately, the only thing they could do was a quick shag in the morning or sloppy orals before bed.

He parted their lips. “Missed you too, have no idea how much I crave you, sweetheart,” he nipped her neck, sucking the skin while pressing his cock to her clothed center. “Do you want it? If you want to sleep we always have tomorrow,” he said in a gentle tone.

“No, want you now, please?” she asked, sneaking a hand in between their bodies, tugging at his boxers until she freed his cock, gripping it until his red tip was showing, already oozing with pre-cum. She carefully rubbed in with her thumb, as Harry moaned in her ear.

“Gonna give you anything you want, my darling,” he answered, feeling her hand releasing the pressure he was feeling moments ago. “Go lay down for me, yeah? I’ll make you feel good.”

“Okay,” she whispered, laying her head on the pillow as Harry pulled her sweatpants and underwear in one go. He was met by her cunt, the part of her body he had been dreaming with during the whole day.

Harry carefully laid on top of her, head resting on her belly as he began kissing it, holding her waist down so she wouldn’t move. When he got to her hip bone he placed a hand under her body, bringing it to his mouth. He explores her pussy with his lips, lapping from her labia to her clit.

“Taste so good, darling, how could I go one day without tasting you?” he attached his mouth to her button, sucking it gently, wanting her to enjoy the moment, wanting to give her all the pleasure he could.

Her hand tugged his curls nicely, feeling his tongue flicking around, his hand had lifted her hips as if she was his own feast, his fingers were singing himself into her soft skin, her thigh was wrapped around his body, keeping him in place.

He took his hand off her body, bringing them to her cunt, swiftly entering her with his two long fingers, taking them in and out patiently, hitting her g spot with every movement.

“H, don’t tease, please,” Y/n whined.

“Not teasing, my love, just getting you ready, alright?” Harry fingered her softly while kissing her thighs and belly, giving special attention to the stretch marks he loved so dearly.

When her legs were becoming shaky and the tug in his hair harder, he decided it was time to stop, with a kiss on her clit he left the place in between her thighs, cleaning his mouth from her wetness with the back of his hand. Harry looked at her body on the bed, her t-shirt still adorning her, Y/n’s mouth was slightly open, trying to catch her breath.

He laid on top of Y/n, kissing her mouth slowly, making her taste her own desire. With his help she took off her shirt, standing naked in front of him. The man didn’t waste any time, kissing her collarbone all the way to her tits, he took her nipple in his mouth, running his tongue through the nub while massaging the other nipple with the tip of his finger.

Y/n brought her hand to his underwear, taking his cock in her hand and masturbating him, feeling his moans as he sucked on her tit. He grabbed her rib cage, thrusting into her hand trying to feel as much pleasure as he could while also trying to love on her.

Her back was arched as her hand worked on his cock, his thick veins could be felt on the palm of her hand, his girth fitting her fist perfectly. She went south, catching his ball in her hands, applying the right amount of pressure she knew he liked.

"Baby, fuck." He murmured, taking his mouth off her tit and laying on her chest, hearing her hectic heartbeat. "Ya' know me so well.”

His lips brushed against her sternum as he relaxed on top of her. He wasn't aware how much he needed this, how much he needed Y/n. He needed her hands, her lips, her smell, her taste, he was addicted to her, and by the way she was wet, he knew the feeling was mutual.

When he felt at the edge of cumming he held her arm, impeding her from moving it. "Gonna cum in your hand if you keep that up, and we don't want that, do we?" He said in a playful tone, giving a kiss on her nose as he sat on the bed, fully taking his boxers off. His cock stood tall on his naval, an embarrassing amount of sticky liquid on its head.

"How do you want it, darling?" He asked, stroking your face and smiling sweetly, making a big contrast with what he was asking. "I wanna do it very slowly, what do you think?" He laid behind her, placing a firm hand on her stomach, his cock rubbing against her back.

"Yeah, slow and soft," she agreed, feeling light-headed when his lips caressed her shoulders and neck. "Can I have your thumb, please?" Y/m shyly asked, bringing her hand in front of her mouth while looking back at Harry, waiting for his response.

"Course you can, my sweet girl, open up for me," her mouth parted and Harry placed his thumb on her warm tongue, the girl wrapped her lips around his finger and began sucking it. Whenever she was just agitated while having sex she enjoyed having his thumb, it helped her focus on her breathing and made Y/n feel closer to him.

Harry kissed her head before putting his right leg over Y/n, spooning her from behind as he took his cock, putting it right in front of her hole. He teased himself a bit, rubbing it against her cunt and making her even more aroused. Y/n, on the other hand, was becoming impatient, biting on his thumb to signal that she wanted him now.

"So eager," Harry mumbled, sinking inch by inch inside her, he brushed his lip on her ear as his hips met her bum, filling her with himself. Y/n was whispering sweetly about how good she was feeling while twirling her tongue around his thumb, driving Harry crazy.

"My baby is so warm and tight." He took his cock from her cunt just to thrust it back again, savoring the moment. "So lucky to be the only one who got you like this, my darling.'

She held into his arms for support as Harry rolled his hips inside of her slowly, hearing her tender cries of more. With every slam of his hips, he buried himself deeper and deeper on her body, not wanting to move anymore, but stay right where he was forevermore.

That’s what life was about, not sex, but closeness, vulnerability. Life is about laying on your lover’s arms, having the privilege of showing affection to them just for their existence, of kissing their throat as they try to breathe, hearing your name coming out of their mouth like a sweet prayer.

Harry wasn’t truly religious, but he knew Y/n’s body and soul weren’t earthly made.

He kissed her nape, the top of her back, her neck, every part of her until his lips could be burning with her name. His movements were a bit faster now, feeling the well-known feeling of orgasm close by. He wasn’t surprised he wouldn't last long, he had been hard for hours now.

With his left hand, he squeezed her tit, making the girl moan, her walls closing more and more around his cock. “Baby, I’m almost there,” she whimpered, bringing her fingers to her clit, massaging it quickly, “Want you to fill me please.”

“Want me to keep you full? Is that it? Want to be dripping with me?” The loud noises from their body clapping together could definitely be heard from the outside of the room, but they couldn't care less as both chased their climax.

Y/n sank her nails into the man’s muscle as the warm feeling of pleasure took over her body, starting on her chest and spreading around her thighs, which began shaking with blissful waves. She continued masturbating her needy clit gently as Harry praised her, working to get his own fulfillment.

“My sweet girl, got you cumming like that just for me.” He was so close, his balls were tightening, ready to pour his love inside her. “Love you so much.”

“Harry, I love you, so fucking much,” she said, turning her head until she met his mouth for what felt like the tenth time that night, he sucked on her tongue as he finally let go, wetting her walls with his cum.

“Fuck,” Harry said, holding her close to him while slamming their hips together, trying to milk himself dry. He bit her lower lip as he felt the last rope leaving the tip of his cock. He knew he had ejaculated a lot because some of the liquid was running down the length of his dick, making a mess on the bed.

Harry thrust sloppily two more times before stopping due to his and Y/n’s sensitiveness. “Damn, how are you? Feeling good?” he asked, rubbing his nose on her cheek affectionately.

“Very tired, guess my medicine is sex,” she said, making Harry laugh.

“I wouldn’t be against sex every night, but just to make sure you sleep well, of course, no other reason.” He cuddled to her body, wanting to be as close as possible. “Let’s go get a shower, alright? C’mon, I’ll help you.”

When he was about to pull up, Y/n whined, holding him. “No, I want to be with you,” she said with a pout. “We can shower in the morning, H.”

He kissed her forehead. “Don’t be silly, love, what if you have a UTI? No way, let’s get going.”

The girl protested, but Harry just rolled his eyes amusingly. He gently held her hips, pulling his soft cock out, his cum swiftly dripping out of her. He took some baby wipes from the bedside table, spreading her legs carefully, but stopping when he noticed the expression on her face.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” he asked, holding Y/n’s chin so she could look at him.

“Just too sensitive, It’s been a while since he had sex,” she answer, hugging.

“Oh darling, I’m sorry, yeah? Do you still want me to clean you up? Or do you wanna do it?” He stroked her face, feeling bad for causing her discomfort.

“You do it, please,” Y/n said shyly, opening her legs for him and looking in the opposite direction of the room, suddenly feeling extremely vulnerable.

“Ok, darling,” he whispered, taking another baby wipe and taking all the sticky fluid from her inner thighs, more carefully this time. “All done,” Harry said while throwing the used wipes on the small garbage placed on the side of the bed.

He held her hips, helping her out of the bed and leading her to the bathroom because her legs were unsteady. Harry turned on the hot water and let the girl go under the water first, taking a loofah and rubbing every inch of her body.

“Want to wash your hair, darling?” Harry asked, watching the girl fighting sleep while drops of water ran down her back.

“No, thank you, way too much work,” She took the loofah from his hand, letting him have a turn on the shower before cleaning him as well.

When the couple was done they spent some minutes in silence, hugging each other and enjoying their company, Harry’s hand was at the bottom of her spine, as her head was on his shoulder. “Feeling sleepy?” he asked.

“Very, maybe I’ll catch up on my sleep today.”

“Hopefully, baby,” Harry turned the shower off, taking her towel and wrapping it around her before doing the same with himself. “I still think you should make an appointment with a therapist, at least.”

“I’ll do whatever you want if it means that we can have morning sex tomorrow,” she teasingly said.

He pecked her lips. “You are way too cheeky today, did you know that?"

"I'm not cheeky, I just miss spending time with my boyfriend." She said as both of them got out of the bathroom, going in the direction of the wardrobe and changing into some clean pajamas.

Harry hugged her from behind. "Miss you so much, but tomorrow we can do whatever you want."

"'You need to stop spoiling me," she laughed.

"Do I?" He said, putting his index finger and thumb on his chin as if he was thinking about the subject. "Hmm, no, I don't think I need to stop. Not my fault you are the sweetest person I know."

"My lover boy, aren't you?" She said, turning to him and kissing his lips gently. "I love you forever."

"Love you forever too, my baby." Harry helped Y/n putting her shirt on as he decided to only sleep in his pants. "Let me just change the sheets and we'll go to bed, alright?"

"Ok, I can help you, just let me–"

"No, you stay here while I do it, it's my mess, isn't it?" Harry said with arched eyebrows. "I'm gonna be quick."

He really was, in less than 5 minutes the bed had new sheets and duvets, ready for the couple to jump in and sleep. Harry placed the used sheets on the other side of the room, saying he was going to go to find a laundry room next time they stop at some city.

Y/n and Harry laid on the bed, hugging each other as if it was their last day together. She hooked a leg over him, laying her head on his chest and she closed her eyes, the man swiftly mirrored her, falling into a deep sleep.

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earliebirb · 4 years

Note

prompt: stevetony + accidental love confession during a fight? I'm loving your stevetony fics, thank you for sharing

Oh my God!!! The first prompt in my inbox and it’s from the lovely @ishipallthings !! What an honor. I have followed you for such a long time on Tumblr (at least on my other, messier blog, because this one hasn’t been around for a very long time) and to have you request a fic in my inbox is so surreal. Thank you so much for the prompt, I hope I didn’t disappoint you!

turning tides

steve/tony, hurt/comfort, getting together, 1783 words

When he wakes up, the first thing he sees is a mop of blond hair, the owner of which is seated in the visitor’s chair beside Tony’s bed, deep asleep with an arm pillowing his head.

Steve is back from his two-week-long, highly classified, solo mission. Tony missed him terribly. Steve is also still wearing his uniform, sans gloves and cowl, which is really weird. Surely he had time to change out of his uniform after the mission. What was the rush?

One of his hands is slipped into Tony’s. He obviously fell asleep with his hand holding Tony’s but his hold had loosened some time during his slumber. Tony resolutely ignores the way his heart flutters at the contact.

Tony looks around the room. SHIELD medical, really? It isn’t like he is dying. At least, he doesn’t think he is. The last thing he remembers before this is the spinning sight of the workshop ceiling and the feeling of his forehead resting against the cool floor of the workshop. Then… nothing.

Tony gazes at Steve, who has fallen asleep with his face tilted towards Tony, allowing Tony the rare privilege to indulge in his guilty pleasure of openly staring at Steve for as long as he wants to, getting his fill, at least until the guy wakes up. It’s probably a bit creepy, but sue him. He is in—

Tony pauses.

Fuck it. He has spent such a long time denying it to himself, it’s about time he admits it, at least in the safe and private confines of his mind.

He is in love.

There, he said it. Thought of it. Whatever. It doesn’t terrify him whatsoever. Not even a little bit.

Tony studies Steve’s eyelashes closely, gentle adoration blooming in his chest. He has the longest eyelashes Tony has ever seen, like beautiful blond waterfalls, casting dark shadows on his cheeks. Those coupled with Steve’s baby blues are absolutely a sight to behold, which probably explains why Tony has trouble breathing every time he has Steve’s full attention on himself. The thrill that runs through him every time Steve looks at him is addictive, has him turning greedy. He wants Steve’s attention on him and only him at all times. Tony tilts his head to admire the curve of Steve’s lips better, slightly ajar in his sleep. He can’t help but smile at the sight. Steve looks so peaceful and innocent when he sleeps. Tony feels like he could look at him forever and never get bored, always finding new details to marvel at without fail.

Tony reaches out to trace the straight line of Steve’s nose with his finger when Steve stirs. Tony withdraws his hand quickly, like a child just about to touch a boiling hot kettle before being reprimanded.

Steve’s eyes blink open slowly, squinting as they attempt to adjust to the light shining just above the bed. Tony watches silently, waits for Steve to find his bearings.

When Steve’s eyes finally meet Tony’s, they widen with surprise when he realizes that Tony is awake.

“Tony,” Steve says with an exhale, standing up from his seat, “you’re awake.”

“I am,” Tony confirms. Steve has extricated his hand from Tony’s in the process and Tony pretends that he doesn’t feel suddenly bereft at the loss of warmth.

Steve stands there for a few moments, taking the sight of Tony in. Then, his back straightens. His eyebrows start to furrow, the corners of his mouth tugged down, the features of his face rearranging themselves into a scowl.

Tony braces himself mentally. He knows what’s coming.

Here we go again.

“I have told you, countless of times, that you need to take better care of yourself, Tony.” Steve’s jaw clenches, his voice heavy with disappointment.

“Steve,” Tony sighs, leaning back into his pillow as he closes his eyes, “can we not? I don’t have the energy to argue with you right now.”

Steve’s chin juts out stubbornly, inhaling deeply through his nose. Tony recognizes all the signs: Steve is not backing down.

Steve raises his eyebrows, leveling him with a glare. “Then muster some.”

Oh. Steve is angry angry.

First things first. “What happened?”

Tony has some inkling as to what might have happened, but it’s still good to know the details.

“You passed out in the workshop out of exhaustion. Jarvis tripped the emergency alarm and the others brought you here. They told me just as my plane was landing,” Steve explains, his voice cold and clipped.

God, passing out due to exhaustion warrants a stay at SHIELD’s medical bay? What an overkill. Tony would like to stress again, that he is not dying. He just passed out from exhaustion and that can happen to anyone. Not everyone’s a supersoldier, Steve. Of course, since Tony values his life, he tries his best not to voice out his thoughts to Steve, who is still staring at Tony like he had insulted his mother.

“Alright. I’m fine now. I’m awake, see?” Tony gestures to himself with a smile. Steve’s expression remains stormy as ever.

“You can’t keep doing this, Tony. When was the last time you ate anything? When was the last time you slept before you collapsed?”

The fact that Tony can’t seem to provide an answer for either of those questions is probably a bad sign.

“Why are you so dismissive of your own health? When are you going to learn to take proper care of yourself? God, it’s like you want to get sick,” Steve spits out, like the words had left a bad taste in his mouth, and that?

That has Tony’s hackles rising.

“Listen. I’m so fucking tired of you picking fights with me, telling me how to live my life? I don’t get why you’re so pissed off about everything I do all the fucking time. I can’t do anything right, can I? So I fainted, big deal. If Jarvis hadn’t tripped the alarm, I’m sure I would have come to eventually. I can just get some rest and then I’ll be fine. Why do you care so much? This had nothing to do with you. You weren’t the one who had to drag me to medical, anyway. Why are you so fucking worked up about it? I never asked for your concern, okay? I’m sorry if this event has inconvenienced you in some way.”

Steve drags in a sharp breath. His hands are curling into fists. His mouth is open and twisted in a way that suggests something like disbelief, his eyes turning red with tears. He lets out one long, shaky breath.

“And you think I asked for this?” Steve’s voice is breaking. Tony feels his heart plummet down to his stomach, panic rising in him. God, is Steve crying? Whatever the fuck did he say that made him cry? Tony didn’t even say anything that was wrong.

Steve grits his teeth. God, that is definitely a tear rolling down his cheek. His eyes stay wide open, glaring daggers at him like he is trying to end Tony’s life with the force of his stare alone.

“I never asked to go insane with worry every time you get sick, or miss a couple meals in a row, or go without sleep for days on end, or get hurt doing something unbelievable reckless on the field.” Steve’s voice is trembling with barely restrained rage, rising in volume. Tony has never seen him so furious before.

“I’m sorry, okay, Tony? I’m sorry for caring about you. I’m so goddamn sorry for being in love with you but I don’t have a choice about that!” Steve roars, but near the end his voice breaks down into a sob, and, and—

What?

Tony feels lightheaded. “...What?”

Steve is still standing there, tear tracks glistening on his cheeks, shoulders heaving up and down as he pants with exertion. He is still looking at Tony like Tony had personally ripped his heart into shreds, which—

Tony wasn’t even aware that he had Steve’s heart in his hands to begin with.

Tony swallows as he tries to wrap his head around this new, unbelievably absurd concept. Tony has always been in love with Steve. This is a fact. Not the other way around. Of course not.

Steve is not in love with Tony.

Tony looks at Steve, who is now frozen, eyes still locked on Tony.

Is he?

“…Steve?” Tony asks, whisper-soft, and he loathes the sliver of hope that slips into that one syllable.

Steve staggers back reflexively, like Tony’s utterance of his name has a force so powerful it knocks him backwards. Then, he shakes his head, looking down at the floor.

Ah, okay. See? There is no way Steve is in love with him. Tony must have mishear—

“I’m sorry, Tony. This isn’t how I wanted you to find out. I mean— I knew that you must have… known, and you were just being nice about it, but… I never intended to bring it up. Please forget what I said,” Steve says to the floor, his voice sounding distant and polite and Tony absolutely hates it.

“I didn’t know,” Tony blurts out.

That makes Steve look up, tentative and unsure. “You… didn’t?”

“Not a clue.”

Steve pauses. He lets out a sigh as he closes his eyes, bowing his head once again. His long eyelashes are wet with tears, Tony notes.

“Well, now you know. I’m sorry.”

There is a pregnant pause in the room, neither of them knowing what to do with this revelation.

And then, after what feels like eternity:

“Steve?” Tony calls.

Steve looks up.

“Come here for a second?”

Steve shuffles on his feet hesitantly, his fight or flight instinct coming into play. He looks like he is weighing paradoxical options in a battle fought within: that getting physically close to Tony right now is simultaneously a viscerally compelling and undeniable need and also the last thing he wants to do. Eventually, however, because he is Steve and Steve will always, always be more lionhearted than Tony could ever hope to be, he approaches Tony with the air of a man accepting certain death. Once again, he finally finds himself back at Tony’s side.

Where he belongs, Tony thinks, and something unfurls deep in his chest.

Tony looks up at him, his hand reaching up to gently wipe away the tear stains on Steve’s cheek. Steve is still looking at him like he’s a ticking time bomb.

Tony gathers all of his courage and takes a deep breath, looking straight into Steve’s impossibly blue eyes.

He bites the bullet.

“Kiss me.”

When Steve’s lips meet his, it feels a lot like coming home.

#stevetony #stevetony fic #stony #stony fic #superhusbands #steve/tony #steve x tony #mine #earl wrote something #earl answers #user: ishipallthings

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fireflake-art · 4 years

Text

Crystal Quin

My Nextgen is confusing these days. I think I'm recalling Scorpan from it, and changing the Twilight ship. My ships are changing a lot, alongside their children. Despite, I thought long and hard about Luster Dawn... Canon threw me a bone with this one, but I couldn't decide who would be her parents.

@lopoddityart threw her in as a Flashburst Nextgen, to WanderingPegasus Twilight and Sunburst were her parents, a majority in the fandom thought of Luster as a Sunlight kiddo... I liked Flashburst, Twiburst was cute, and I headcanon Starlight and Sunburst as stepsiblings.

Then this idea fell to me. At first, it was just Cadence, Shining, Flash and Sunny. I slowly thought to throw Sombra in later. These characters are what have their friends/family dubbed as the Crystal Quin.

Sunburst was quickly assigned to be Flurry Heart's nanny after her crystalling. He and the Crystal Couple grew close, as her ever-protective, tired caretakers. One night after the three had finally gotten Flurry to sleep, they all collapsed on each other. When they woke up, to their blushing surprise, the three were tangled in the married pair's bed. Their relationship took a swift turn. Shining Armor, Cadence and Sunburst kept the romance private from their subjects.

Flash Sentry was soon ordered as Flurry Heart's loyal bodyguard. They spent a lot of time together, nervously watching Flurry and taking care of the alicorn baby. Sunburst developed a crush.

His boyfriend and girlfriend encouraged Sunburst to ask him out. Hesitantly, Sunburst squeaked out the proposal to Flash. He accepted with a smile. Not knowing Flash's opinions of polyamorous herds, Sunburst left ShiningCadence, keeping their relationship under wraps from Flash Sentry.

After a few dates, Flash was his official boyfriend. Sunburst did fall in love with him (quite quickly), but at the same time, he dearly missed his former partners. Sunburst had to confess this to Flash.

Flash Sentry gave him a confused smirk and said, "Why can't you have all three of us?"

Long story short, Sunny had two boyfriends and a girlfriend. Cadence insisted they all hang out together for Sunburst's sake. Slowly but surely, the four fell in love.

And then Cadence found a shadowy figure traveling near the outskirts of the Empire. A frail and scrawny hornless Sombra, purged from the dark magic that craddled his mind, seeking shelter from the barren, icy wasteland. Cadence swooped down and took him back to the castle, under strict evolution from the Equestrian Princesses.

Princess Twilight and the foster child of Friendship, Cozy Glow, pleaded for Sombra's Reformation. Shining Armor was woefully against giving the evil Umbrum a chance to escape. Cadence was cautiously optimistic. Sunburst and Flash Sentry were divided with their stance on the matter. Before the two could make a choice, Celestia ordered for Sombra to be released, but kept under lock and key. She charged Cadence with Reforming the ancient King.

Cadence thought she was helping him. Sombra was genuinely ashamed for the things he had done. He took up extra community work around the Crystal Empire, forgoing sleep and eating in the name of being helpful or brooding in his dark depression. Slowly, the more time she spent consoling him, learning about his life and loneliness and guilt... The more she found herself surprised by his kindness. He warmed to her. She was the only creature he would smile for.

During this, Cadence saw Shining Armor less and less. Their interactions often ended in spats. Anytime the two weren't arguing, their words were filled with passive aggressiveness and tension. Boyfriends Sunburst and Flash Sentry were always on their hooves, running to get them to get along with no success.

Cadence grew frustrated of her husband not believing in her and her boyfriends urging her to see his point of view. That night, she sought comfort in her only friend. The only one on her side. Sombra.

She woke with him. Instantly, she raced to her partners and pulled them into a private room. Still dazed from the early morning, she confessed what she had done. The betrayal shocked them. Cadence begged for one of them to say something, to do anything.

Sunburst broke out into tears. Flash and Armor swept closer to him, Flash putting his wings around the orange unicorn and Shining stepping forward defensively when Cadence tried lending her hoof to Sunburst's face.

The five didn't talk for a few weeks. They lived together, ruled the empire, helped their subjects, took care of Flurry Heart... but all five kept their distance.

Until Cadence came up pregnant... with the child of Sombra.

Finally Shining broke, barging in to Sombra's confined bedchambers and screaming for a reason. At the very least, an apology. Sombra wouldn't give it. He should have believed in his wife's abilities, Sombra reasoned, or else she wouldn't have felt alone and caught feelings for him. He loved her, he said. Sombra didn't waver. Until the rest of them rushed in, and Cadence again awkwardly admitted that she was with child.

Cadence and Sombra entered a real relationship. Shining Armor was still her husband on the outside, but behind the closed doors of the castle, she loved Sombra, and Shiny loved being alone. Sunburst and Flash soon realized that their perfect little quad had died out. Hopeless, they resigned to being only each other's, and acted as Flurry Heart's parents in this time of frustration.

When Prince Valentinus Amor (meaning "Strong Love") was born, Cadence couldn't hide the truth from her subjects anymore. She declared that the child was Sombra's, and they would be raising the baby as a couple. (Disgruntled and disgusted, the Empire quietly sided with Shining Armor with little knowledge of what exactly had went down.)

With almost everything out in the open, Cadence and Shining readied the official divorce papers. Soon came the day when they had to sign it. They sat, alone together for the first time in months, waiting and meekly breathing... Until eventually, they fell, hugging one another and desperately sobbing.

Worried by the noise, Sombra, Sunburst and Sentry entered the room. Cadence wrapped the yellowish boys in her wings, rambling half-intelligible apologies, and Shining Armor and Sombra reluctantly talked things out. The night ended with the quin drunk, crying and in love again.

The Crystal Herd happily married, and soon opted to have a foal that was biologically the child of all of them. Thus, Princess Luster "Lucy" Dawn was born...

To Be Continued.

Here's some sketches of their designs I did before, in-between and after the poly drawing.

I buy into (@DeviantArt's) Eeelt's headcanon that Shining Armor has natural pink highlights in his blue mane and @lopoddityart ’s Lunacorn headcanon. I imagine Shining has golden flecks on his almost-all white body, the most prominent ones on his ears and shoulders. He has big fangs that are blunt, good for raw fruit and roots; a frugivore-looking horseboi.

Few bite-sized hcs; Shining Armor is shorter than both Cadence and Sombra, has ADHD, is dyslexic, goes alpha-male when family/friends are in danger, can hold a grudge for as long as he damn well pleases, is a lover of pastel, still Capt. of the Crystal Empire's Royal Guard, drag queen buddies with the Mane Six's brothers (drag names of "Orchard Blossom" for Mac, "Gleaming Shield" for Shiny, "Saphora Gale" for Zephyr), occasionally crossdresses, totally draws on his eyebrows, eight years older than Twi (he was a carefully planned pregnancy, while his kid sister was born due to a malfunction in their mom's birth control pills. Twilight wasn't planned, but after the initial shock and panic of a positive pregnancy spell, she was quickly welcomed as part of the family. after this Night Light got a vasectomy)

Flash Sentry is always running on black coffee, sleep deprivation and lust for eyeshadow, making his mane wild and his aura to give off an old rock band vibe. Is definitely a more relaxed, laid-back pony, a welcome source of casual advice for his children and partners. Shortest out of them all.

Sombra has a long snoot, and at the end of that snoot, rests his shaggy goatee. He also has sideburns, shaven sides, and a very messy manbun. Has bags under his eyes (much like Flash, he's an insomniac; you can find the pair cuddled up and reading when both are restless), wears gray eyeshadow, a red scarf, a sparkly tie for his bun, and golden horseshoes. He's simultaneously bulky and scrawny.

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cheshiresense · 6 years

Note

I guess the fandom has a thing for Ichigo redeeming the seemingly unredeemable? (I know I do.) Besides, Koyonagi is really interesting. I'm looking forward to more of him and Touma in your work :D (PS: would you ever be willing to expand on Hungry!Tsuna? I just keep thinking about what Reborn said about Fon and possessive storms and really, how could Fon dislike Tsuna? honestly I just want to see poor Tsuna taken care of, and the more possessive guardians the better xD )

OKAY. FON. FIRST MEETING. *cracks knuckles* actually no i hate that, eventhe sound of someone else doing it makes my hands itch and my inner pianistcringe so idk how about fancy stretches instead And more Reborn&Viper. Forsome reason I just keep going back to them.

Pinglist:@yoshifics @bewarethemandragora @runeofluna@selenedreamwalker @hypnos28 @verticallychallengedintrovert@fandommaniac2401 @lovingempress @cynthia-of-the-wallflowers@shadowsofmoonracer @pairp @warriorofbooks @charlottedabookworm @lyra689 @sheyrenawyrsabane @sora-the-empress @xadriannax @yumeniai @arrysa @lirial89-fanfiction @skysong246 @caiahat @grimreaper19 @arosethornbyanyothername @mtkiseki @kaminoko-x@nesskyru @tatarako @parklena42 @zibeth-a @aerdnanocte @timegrenades@healingmichiko @shiko-rae @soraofmelody @fandoms-make-the-world-go-round @north-peach @yannilicious @wolfsrainrules @anaissesteighart

Tsuna’s health has been good, getting better,especially after a tentative Guardian bond formed with Viper.

(”Don’t you have a contract with the Varia?”

“Arcobaleno business takes precedence. It’s even in the fineprint. Legal cause to resign, even if Vongola won’t like it. Don’t youhave a contract with the Nono?”

“…”

“Exactly. And both our resignations have clearly been lostin the mail. So quit trying to get rid of me.”)

But it’s not enough. Tsuna comes down with a fever on aMonday. It’s not a bad one, nothing like the spikes in temperature Reborn hadto deal with back when it was just him and Tsuna. As much as it… disgruntleshim to admit it, even just to himself, Viper’s presence helps.

But even a second Arcobaleno can’t fill the sheer amount ofFlames that Tsuna needs to live. And it probably doesn’t help that he refusesto eat as much of their Flames as Reborn and Viper are willing to offer, stillinsisting on going the catch-a-criminal-stranger route most of the time. It’s aconstant battle to get Tsuna to feed on them even just four times a week,although Reborn supposes even that’s a victory worth celebrating consideringback when they first decided on this method, Tsuna had pushed for once a fortnight.

(It doesn’t hurt as much these days, as it did the firsttime Reborn broke off a piece of his own Sun core. He’s wondered on occasion ifmaybe it’s just because he’s done it one too many times and has numbed himselfto it. He doesn’t think so - it’s not the kind of thing one can get usedto, as his experience with Luce can attest to - but this is new territory forall of them. All he knows is that the more time he spends with Tsuna, thestronger their bond becomes, which makes sense, obviously, but also, thestronger that bond becomes, the less it hurts when he offers Tsuna his ownFlames. Nowadays, it feels less like he’s breaking off a piece of his very souland more like… he’s exchanging it. When he gives his Sun Flames to Tsuna,it’s almost as if Tsuna’s own Flames automatically reach out to fill what heloses, and he recovers that much faster because of it.

He’s talked about it to Viper, who admits it’s nowhere nearas violating as it was with Luce, which they’d braced themselves for the firsttime they offered a terribly dismayed Tsuna their Flames. If the process hurtsthe illusionist at all, they haven’t said, and Reborn hasn’t seen any signs ofit.)

As it is, Tsuna might not be anywhere near as sick as hecould be, but Reborn still made the executive decision to pull him out ofschool and confine him to bedrest for the day. There’s no need to push theirluck.

On his part, Tsuna sleeps. He grumbled a little earlierabout overprotective mother hens, but he drifted off almost as soon as he wasushered back to bed. He doesn’t stir for most of the rest of the day, but thatalso means he doesn’t jerk awake vomiting black Flames so Reborn would cautiouslycall it a success.

On the other hand, Viper - not so much. Tsuna wasunderweight and plagued with exhaustion on and off since the illusionistarrived, but he’s gotten better since then, with Reborn as a crutch, and thenViper later on. This is the first time Viper’s seen Tsuna’s health take anosedive in a way Luce never did even at the end of her life.

“Would it help if he ate more?” Viper asks, and it’s onlybecause Reborn has known them for so long that he can hear the tension beneaththe clinical monotone.

Reborn checks Tsuna’s temperature again. “He’ll be fine.”

Viper glares. “That isn’t what I asked.”

Reborn reminds himself that he was probably just as out ofhis depth as Viper currently feels back when he was first learning how to takecare of Tsuna. That doesn’t prevent his answer from coming out just a touch toosharply, “He’s eating four proper meals a week; what do you think?”

“Then-”

“We’re not force-feeding him unless he’s on the brink ofdeath,” Reborn cuts him off. He slants an uncompromising look at Viper,ignoring the way the room seems to darken threateningly for a moment. “Tsunasaid no. We can argue about it, but we aren’t going to disregard his opinionanytime we please.” He reaches up and tilts his fedora down over his eyes. “Wearen’t Luce.”

He doesn’t need to see it to know Viper has to suppress aflinch back. “This is different.”

Reborn sighs, more tired than irritated now. “Not sodifferent.”

“It would be for his own good!” Viper hisses, and somethingin Reborn marvels at that. Even back when they didn’t know about Arcobaleno andthe Tri-Ni-Sette and Checkerface, when they didn’t know what Luce was luringthem into, Viper never concerned themselves with Luce’s wellbeing to thisextent. Maybe that was because Luce was never in this kind of situation, neversick when they still would’ve cared, but perhaps too it should’ve been a clue,a warning.

“And Luce did what she did because she believed it was forthe good of the world,” Reborn points out harshly, and this time Viper doesflinch. The silence that follows feels almost chastised.

I was here first, Reborn doesn’t say. I’ve beenwith him longest, even if that doesn’t mean much because he’s been alone somuch longer. But I was the one who saw him at his worst, not you. Do you thinkI don’t want him healthy and strong and not starving any less than youdo? Do you think I don’t want to shove as much of my Flames into him as ittakes to make him full for the first damn time in over half a decade?

But consent means something a little extra to himthese days, and when it comes down to it - Luce forced them to feed her topreserve herself and the world. Reborn won’t force Tsuna to eat just so theycan preserve Tsuna. Not unless there’s no other way. He’s selfish andpossessive enough to admit that. And at least for now, regular, propermeals - however few - seem to be helping enough to see some signs ofimprovement. Until that changes, drastically enough to require intervention,Reborn will respect Tsuna’s wishes.

Don’t you understand, you fool? I never want Tsuna tolook at me the way we all looked at Luce in the end.

He doesn’t say any of this out loud of course. It revealstoo much of himself, and he’s never been that close to the other Arcobaleno.

“Make yourself useful and pass me another ice pack,” Heorders instead.

Viper glowers, bristling at being told what to do. But inthe end, they look at Tsuna, paler than he’s been in a while, Flames flutteringunsteadily against their senses, and a moment later, the illusionist concedesand tosses Reborn an ice pack before busying themselves with opening the windowfor some fresh air but also tossing some Mist Flames around to keep the draft out.

Then they both settle down to wait.

The doorbell rings, just past four in the afternoon, butthey both know who it is. They eye each other for a moment before Viper clickstheir tongue in annoyance but capitulates and goes to get the door. Nana is outshopping, but even if she wasn’t, it isn’t as if she would’ve done anythingexcept let her visitor right on in.

Sometimes, Reborn wonders how she’s even still alive.

Downstairs, Viper opens the door and demands flatly, “What.”

Standing on the doorstep like there’s nowhere else he’drather be, Fon smiles. “Good afternoon, Viper.”

Viper stares woodenly at him and doesn’t budge. Fon’s smilewidens. His eyes remain as cold and calculating as Reborn’s at his worst.

“Colonello called me,” Fon continues, and Viper thinksuncharitably that they should’ve trapped the idiot in his worst nightmaresuntil he forgot he ever stumbled on them at Mafia Land.

They ignore the fact that if they were in Colonello’s oreven Fon’s place - and they were, a mere three months ago - they would’vewanted to know about all this too.

It’s different now. They’re Tsunayoshi’s Mist Guardian now,properly bonded in a way Viper never was with Luce. There was a bond there,yes, but there was also always a nagging sense of wrongness that Viperwas a fool for ignoring just because they’d finally found a Sky that seemedworth following and also wanted them. They’d dismissed their ownintuition, reasoning that the bond just needed more time to settle, and itwasn’t until it was far too late to back out that they realized why - a Flamebond forged on a foundation of lies is no real bond at all.

Tsunayoshi is different from Luce in every conceivable way.And if Fon is here to give him any kind of trouble, even just to sate his ownmorbid curiosity instead of staying away, especially today, he’ll haveto deal with Viper first.

“-about the Sky Arcobaleno,” Fon is saying. “And how he’s…different. Since I was in the area, I thought I would drop by and see formyself.”

Viper scoffs. “He’s unavailable at the moment. Come againlater.”

Fon’s smile doesn’t falter but it does thin a little.“Viper.”

“Fon.” Viper echoes flatly, and neither of them gives aninch.

Fon shakes his head, and for the first time, his smileslides off his face, and a flicker of something that teeters betweenfrustration and challenge slips past that iron-clad control of his. “I’m theStorm Arcobaleno, I have the right to see him.”

“And I’m his Mist Guardian,” Viper counters, and apart of them revels in the spark of pride that that title brings. “You’ll seehim when he wants to see you, and I have no qualms about enforcing that.”

They stare at each other for a moment. Something in Fon’s expressionspeaks of genuine surprise, like he didn’t expect Viper to put up this much ofa fuss, even though Colonello almost certainly sensed their Flame bonds andthen told the others.

“And Sawada-san does not wish to see me?” Fonenquires after a moment.

Viper gives nothing away. “He’s busy.”

Fon stares at them some more, and then stares past them atthe stairs leading up to the second floor.

This close, Viper wonders if he can sense the disturbance inTsunayoshi’s Flames.

Fon looks at them again, and for just a second, it looksalmost like he’s willing to try and force his way past Viper. But only for asecond, and then his genial expression returns. He takes a step back, inclineshis head, and says, “Another time then. I have some work to do nearby anyway.My private number is the same.” He smiles even as his eyes narrow in warning.“Do remember to call me when Sawada-san is available again, Viper. Good day toyou.”

Viper watches him go, not shutting the door until they can’tsense the Storm in the vicinity anymore.

Reborn says nothing when they return, but Viper supposes -somewhat sardonically - that’s a compliment in itself.

Not that Viper needs Reborn’s approval. But at least thisway, the hitman doesn’t open his mouth or open fire and very likelyannoy Viper enough to retaliate.

Their Sky needs all the rest he can get after all.

Tsuna recovers in a few days and agrees to meet Fon over theweekend.

At Takesushi.

With Reborn and Viper at the other end of the restaurant, andthat only because they refused to wait outside or let Tsuna go alone.

“Are you sure about this?” Reborn grumbles. They’d shown upearly and settled themselves at the bar table where Reborn has taken todisassembling and reassembling one of his handguns under the faintly alarmedeye of the sushi chef. Tsuna has no idea why the guy hasn’t called the cops onthem yet or even remarked about toddlers playing with “toy” firearms, but he’salso spent the past six-plus years living with the fact that nobody in thistown is capable of noticing anything out of the ordinary, and even if they are,they certainly can’t be bothered to say anything about it, so really, this ispar for the course.

Besides, Tsuna has faith in Reborn’s ability to talk himselfout of any trouble he might get into.

“I’m sure,” He says instead. “If he’s come all this way tosee me, I think I should at least meet him, right?”

“Don’t say that like it was much of a hardship for him,”Reborn scoffs. “Besides, he has family in town.”

Tsuna blinks. “What, really?”

“The Hibari family,” Viper says from where they’re perusingthe menu. “You know one of them, don’t you?”

Tsuna blanches a little. “H- Hibari-san is Fon-san’srelative?”

Hibari Kyouya has never paid much attention to Tsuna, asblind as the rest of this town to his oddities, but everyone knows aboutthe prefect’s violent proclivities in the name of discipline.

“Yes,” Reborn answers. “A great-nephew, I think. To be fair,Fon has rarely visited since he became an Arcobaleno. But Namimori isn’t new tohim.”

Tsuna digests this silently and wonders if Fon will be likeHibari Kyouya, easy to anger, quick to strike. Viper did say Fon was polite,when Tsuna asked what the Storm Arcobaleno was like, but the way they said itmade Tsuna think they actually meant it as an insult.

On the other hand, Viper says almost everything like it’s aninsult.

Privately, Tsuna contemplates the odds of Fon being morelike Reborn or more like Viper. Reborn, who refused to run and stubbornlypowered through even the worst of Tsuna’s episodes and was the first to chooseto give up a part of himself just to ease Tsuna’s hunger? Or Viper, who neverslept in the same house for the first two months and looked at Tsuna like theycouldn’t decide whether to attack or flee but still came back every single daylike they couldn’t help themselves until they learned to trust him?

Or maybe Fon would be neither, more like Colonello instead,so terribly, horrifyingly afraid, more than a little confused, and - unlikeReborn and Viper both - with enough self-preservation and sense to actuallystay away.

The latter, he hopes, and ignores those tiny parts of himthat are somehow still capable of hoping for something else entirely.

(Five and empty and tripping over everything, six andhurting and tired, eight and desperate, ten and starving, thirteen and aloneand standing on a bridge, wondering if death might be better.)

It would be selfish. More than Tsuna deserves. And he’salready dragged two people into this. He can’t do anything about Reborn andViper anymore, and he knows that the two of them are split between a possessivesort of satisfaction that Colonello hasn’t come after them and contemptuousdisdain for the same reason.

Fon though…

The door of the restaurant slides open. Viper stiffens andhalf-turns. Reborn doesn’t but the last piece of the gun he’s been handlingsnaps ominously into place just as Fon walks in.

“Promise you won’t eavesdrop?” Tsuna checks.

Reborn rolls his eyes while Viper sighs.

“You never spoke to me privately,” The illusionistcomplains.

Yeah, and look how that turned out, Tsuna doesn’tsay.

“You were too scared to speak to him privately,” Rebornpoints out because at heart, he is a troll. Viper tries to stab him with theirchopsticks.

It’s Tsuna’s turn rolls his eyes. He glances quickly at Fon,who’s caught sight of them and looks about ready to come over and join them.The Storm… really does look quite a bit like a miniature Hibari. He’s wearing ared Pacifier, and his hair’s tied back in a braid, but the biggest differencewould probably be the fact that he doesn’t look ready to beat up everybody inthe vicinity for breathing the wrong way.

“Guys,” Tsuna insists, and this time, Reborn and Viper heavetwin sighs even as they get up to leave.

“Fine,” Reborn says, clearly displeased as he pins Fon withan unblinking stare. He still has his gun out. “We’ll be at that booth. Screamif you need help.”

“I will not scream,” Tsuna mumbles sullenly. Justbecause his voice hasn’t broken yet, and he had the misfortune of beingstartled by one of Reborn’s cockroach spies in the house the other day. A lot ofpeople are scared of cockroaches. Not all, but that doesn’t mean the rest wantto cuddle them either.

He watches them take up residence in the corner booth,smiles weakly at the sushi chef who’s raised an eyebrow at them but doesn’tcomment, and then takes a deep breath and turns to greet Fon.

Fon hops up onto the bar table, murmurs a polite thanks whenone of the waiters comes by with a fresh cup of green tea, and then settles downcross-legged before turning all his focus on Sawada Tsunayoshi.

So, this is the new Sky Arcobaleno. To be honest, he doesn’tseem very impressive. The first time Fon met Luce, her Flames - gentle but strongin a way that couldn’t be ignored - tugged at him like the summer tide on theshore, playful and welcoming. Tsunayoshi’s Flames… well, Fon can barely feelthem. Which is strange because Colonello said he could sense the Guardian bondsthat the Sky Arcobaleno has with both Reborn and Viper. Fon thinks he can feelthem, when he concentrates, but they’re like wisps of smoke, nothing like thepowerful, stable connections Colonello talked about.

If Fon didn’t have a name and facial description to go by,he would’ve walked right past this boy without sensing anything out of theordinary about him. He has almost no presence, his features aren’t particularlystriking (and in fact there’s a tired gauntness about his face that suggests hemight be recovering from an illness), and he’s fidgeting nervously under Fon’sgaze even though Fon made sure he was at his most disarming best before he evenentered the restaurant.

Definitely civilian born and bred, although it is curious -one would think if the boy was anxious about meeting him, he would want Rebornand Viper with him.

“So, hi,” Tsunayoshi finally blurts out. “I’m SawadaTsunayoshi. Nice to meet you.”

Fon inclines his head. “I am Fon. Thank you for taking thetime to meet me.”

“Oh, I- There’s no need to thank me for that,” The boyhurries out. “I was- I was a bit sick earlier; that’s why Viper turned youaway. But I would’ve met you then if I could’ve.” He pauses uncertainly for amoment. “I’m not really sure why you’d wanna meet me though? Did you havequestions?”

Fon smiles, but that just seems to make Tsunayoshiuncomfortable. “Not particularly. I simply wished to meet you. It is not sostrange, is it? For a Guardian to meet their Sky?”

That gets a bigger reaction. Tsunayoshi jerks back as ifstung, and out of the corner of his eye, Fon sees a very deliberate flash of amuzzle pointing his way. He ignores it.

“But you’re not!” Tsunayoshi bursts out, and he actuallylooks faintly disturbed. “We just met! And I know that’s not how itworks, Reborn explained it to me, I don’t- I don’t inherit you from-from Luce-san.” His hand goes to the Pacifier around his neck, tapping absentlyat it for a moment. “So, I guess what I’m saying is, you don’t have to stay oranything.”

Fon considers him for a second, then nods over his shoulder.“But you don’t mind Reborn or Viper staying?”

Tsunayoshi’s expression twists into something resigned and distraughtand somehow angrily happy all at the same time. “I don’t think I had much of achoice,” He mumbles, fiddling with the napkin in front of him now. “Reborn wasreally angry with me the one time I tried to kick him out. And Viper sort ofinserted themself into my life before I really noticed.”

He straightens and seems to shake his odd mood off. “Butanyway, they- Reborn and Viper, they chose to stay, but that doesn’t meananybody else has to too, just because I’m the Sky Arcobaleno. I mean, things aren’teven that interesting in Namimori. And my life is especially boring. All I dois go to school and go home and train a bit with Reborn and Viper on the side.I’m not even eligible for Vongola Decimo anymore, obviously, so there’s notreally any point in hanging around.”

He trails off, and his expression shifts into somethingexpectant, like he half-thinks Fon is going to turn and march out the door,just like that.

Fon arches an eyebrow. But, well, this is interesting too.And half the reason he came here at all, isn’t it?

“And if I also choose to stay?” He enquires.

Tsunayoshi’s shoulders go tight. “I- Well, I mean, you can,of course.” His legs kick against the barstool. “Are- Are you going to?”

Fon hums noncommittally. “Perhaps. If nothing else, it willbe a chance to catch up with old friends.”

“Oh,” Tsunayoshi murmurs, and everything about him suddenlygoes still, down to his hands and the napkin he’s been wringing between them.

Fon tenses, just a little, but he continues smiling, keepinghis expression mild. “There’s no need to sound so disappointed, Sawada-san. Youwon’t even give me a chance?”

Tsunayoshi stares for a moment longer at the table, afaraway look in his eyes, and then he glances back at Fon with a weak smile.“That’s not it. Like I said, of course you’re welcome to stay if you want. Areyou staying at a hotel? Or- Or with your family? Reborn and Viper mentioned them. Or youcan come visit my place-”

Fon listens to the boy ramble on, and when it happens, well,it happens so slowly he doesn’t even notice until-

There are Flames, he realizes abruptly, rippling like aheatwave in the air between them, and when he looks sharply up at Tsunayoshiagain, the darkness in those brown eyes makes him jerk back.

Because he’s seen that look before - hungry and relentlesslike the gaping maw of a slavering beast - and Fon is its helpless prey, pinneddown and unable to do anything but take it.

He scrambles to his feet, uncharacteristic panic making himclumsy. He didn’t even know when he lowered his guard enough to be taken off-guard.But then, Luce was unassuming as well. In this, Tsunayoshi is apparently thesame, just in a different way, and Fon should be better than this.

In a flash, even as his breath feels like it’s stalling inhis lungs, his mind jumps between every exit he marked when he first came in -front door, back door, two windows, easily broken - but he also knows there’snowhere he can run.

He knew, from the start, that it was foolish to come here.When he got the call from Colonello, every sensible instinct in him told him toget as far away from Japan as physically possible. But he also heard aboutReborn and Viper and genuine Guardian bonds, and neither of them were stupid,they would never fall for the same tricks again, especially Reborn. Yetthey’d taken their Sky to an amusement park, for all intents and purposes justa fun day out, and then by the sounds of it even treating him to dinner. Viperwas even going to pay for a hotel, for a trip detour that certainly wasn’tnecessary.

And they’d been protective, Colonello had said, protectiveof their Sky even against a fellow Arcobaleno, and indulgent in a way thatspoke of real affection.

And Fon - as much as he was tempted to simply hang up anddisappear - stayed on the phone and questioned Colonello twice about everyaspect and observation of the short encounter, and by the end of it, a thoughthad trickled in, unbidden - was it just Reborn and Viper, bonded with the newSky Arcobaleno? Or did he have others already?

Did he have a Storm?

And something in him snarled at the very idea of anyoneencroaching on what was essentially his territory. It seemed likesomething Reborn might do too, if that protective streak of his reared its headtoo much - dig up some other elements with strong potential and train them uphimself instead of waiting for the other Arcobaleno, whom the hitman would knowfull well might never come at all and would probably run in the oppositedirection if confronted with the very notion of bonding with the SkyArcobaleno.

And before Fon knew it, he was on a flight to Japan. Heexperienced firsthand Viper’s bristling defensiveness, and even if he didn’tsee Reborn until now, he also sensed the hitman like one would an aggressiveneon-bright warning sign in the background, and even if neither of those things puthim entirely at ease, they were still points in favour of Sawada Tsunayoshi.

Besides, Colonello swore up and down that the new Sky nevereven tried to eat his Flames, that Reborn and Viper’s Flames weren’t theravaged mess Luce consistently left them in either when she fed on them.

Fon still should’ve known better. But he was curious, andfoolish, and no matter the calm he likes to portray to the world, he’s still aStorm, and a Hibari to boot, with all the jealously guarded covetous instinctsof each.

(Because he thought, just for a moment - maybe this one’sdifferent. And in the end, such a pathetic hope was what drove him hereafter all.

Checkerface knew exactly the kind of people to prey on,didn’t he?)

He looks at the Sky Arcobaleno once more, at that yawninghunger that Luce wore so well, and he backs away, preparing to leap to thefloor and out the nearest window as quickly as he can, shattered glass bedamned, even as he braces for the nauseous sensation of an insatiable Skytearing away at his Flames once more.

He takes a step-

-and stops.

Tsunayoshi is still watching him. He’s sitting there andwatching him with Sky-stained eyes that burn with a bottomless appetite,and Fon should be running, out of this restaurant, this town, this country,anywhere but in the direct line of sight of the Sky Arcobaleno, and yet-

Civilian, born and bred, and so Fon catches it, just aglimpse, lurking underneath the ravaging hunger - guilt. It’s there, inthe lines of his face and the pinch of his mouth, determination and regrettwined together and running just as deep as his hunger, and that is whatmakes Fon stop.

Because in all the time he knew her, Luce never regrettedwhat she did to them.

And he thinks: Reborn and Viper stayed - why?

He turns back, faces the greedy rush of Flames bearing downon him with a terrifying weight only he can feel, and even as his heart poundsin his chest and remembered revulsion rises in his throat, he doesn’t move.

They brush against his Flames, grasping fingers full of adesperate sort of want, but then - abruptly - it’s as if they slam intoan invisible wall, and between one breath and the next, they’re yanked back like the snap of a rubber band.

Tsunayoshi falls off his chair, and Fon gets a singlewide-eyed look of shocked disbelief before the boy crashes to the ground andFon suddenly has a gun at his head and a cold tendril of Mist curling aroundhis neck like a noose.

“What did you do?” Reborn demands, and his infantilevoice resonates for just a moment with the deeper near-forgotten timbre of theman he once was.

People are turning to look. Viper - on the floor and helpingTsunayoshi up - waves an irritated hand, and the civilians lose interestimmediately.

“Tsunayoshi? Are you alright? What happened?” Their eyes arestill hooded, but when their head lifts in Fon’s direction, Fon can sense thechill in them. Their Mist Flames remain a threat around his neck, and Reborn’sgun doesn’t waver.

But Fon only has eyes for the boy pushing himself up into asitting position, three shades paler, hands shaking, and Flames - good godhis Flames - like a whole forest of plum blossoms in full bloom, all beauty andcolour, deceptively delicate but fierce and resolute in the dead of winter, andabsolutely unwavering in the way they thread themselves with Reborn’s Sun andViper’s Mist.

Fon finds his voice, and it comes out hoarser than heexpects but he doesn’t care. “Did you just try to frighten me intoleaving?”

Tsunayoshi flinches.

Fon huffs an almost unsteady laugh, feeling light-headed andthrown off balance for the first time in decades.

“I think,” He muses, casually disintegrating Viper’s Mistnoose with a spark of his own Flames and stepping lightly away from Reborn’sgun and dawning realization. “I would very much like to stay after all,Tsunayoshi-san.”

Tsunayoshi makes an incoherent sound of despair, and Fonthinks he knows why now. He’ll have to apologize though; he won’t be going anywhereanytime soon. Not when this Sky Arcobaleno’s first instinct when it came to Fon was to protect.

#OMG THIS GOT SO FUCKING LONG #myscrap #headcanon #is this even a fucking headcanon anymore #prob not #but it's what i labelled the first two so it's a fucking headcanon gdi #khr #sawada tsunayoshi #reborn #viper #fon #msg #raz-ia #hunger verse

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sunsetsinhoenn · 5 years

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Hello! I'm the anon who requested the reader with telekinetic powers. To light up things a bit, how about the main protagonist using her powers to goof around with the main gang (like surprising them by making them levitate)

OOF, i know i told you this would be ready like two days ago, but I ended up rewriting the entire thing because there was a part of it that i just did not like and could not get past. from now on, anyone should take my time estimates with a grain of salt, because they’re never on time lol

1 | 2 | 3

4 - “the good part of me”

It was always an off day when you didn’t see at least one of your friends. During the week, you hung out with them at school, and during the weekend you you could easily visit four of them within a three minute trip. After being around the apartments for six months now, there had just been a handful of times where you went 24 whole hours without them.

There was the one time you caught a cold in late February, all thanks to a nasty virus that had been going around the school. You were confined to your room for a long while, sleeping the sickness out. There was also the time during spring break where you and everyone decided to have a sleepover week at the apartments. It lasted about four days before everyone got tired of each other and decided to separate for a while. You were all hanging out again like normal just a couple of days later, but that break was desperately needed.

However, this time was all because you decided not to see them. Two weeks after your mishap at the apartments, school was officially deemed closed for the summer and you were relieved that you could finally start ignoring your friends better.

Not because you hated them or anything! Your friends were just too smart for their own good, and you hated seeing them worry when they looked at you.

After realizing that there was a part of you - like as if there was a whole other being inside of you - that was pretty much evil, you had a hard time letting it go. You were afraid that if you let yourself slip just once, it would come out and wreak havoc, destroying everything you held dear. You never had to worry about it before because it hadn’t been awake. But now it was and you had to fight back.

That very night after you left Sal’s apartment, you had laid down, ready to sleep and get the day over with. You were shaken by the events, but you were also itching to just let your mind rest and let it go. You were still afraid that maybe it would steal your mind in the middle of the night, pretty much killing you, never letting you rule of your body again, but how could it possibly do that? How would you fight back? Could you? It wasn’t something you could really bother to think about at that moment.

It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep, but when you began to dream that night, you were met with a very familiar and very unwanted scene.

It was the void again, empty and as confusing as ever. The dread and fear was still surrounding you everywhere you looked, but you couldn’t place where it was coming from nor did you really want to. Not that it was easy to find anything, anyways. There were no landmarks and no key differences in the landscape.

You had a thought pass through your head that maybe it only looked that way because you had your eyes closed, and just like that, they flew open inside your dream. You were able to notice that it was still black, still dark, still dreary, still creepy.

But there was a pair of red eyes staring at you now and if you weren’t shocked from that, you would’ve cried or screamed. The eyes were all you could see, but now it felt like you were being loomed over, watched and held hostage.

“IT’sS tt—YOU WILL BR—NNhh AVE MY—“

Your eyelids flew open again, and this time you let out a gasp, breathing hard for fresh air, your head spinning. That wasn’t just a dream. You were talking to something, and you knew it. The connection was just bad.

It was after that that you began to develop a bad case of insomnia, showing up each day at school with more and more prominent bags under your eyes, your mental health and emotional stability waning as you started to deteriorate.

If it weren’t for your friends, no one would have really noticed that you were having a rough time. But they did, and you almost hated how much they cared for you. While you didn’t want to admit it now, you knew that getting no sleep wasn’t good for you. They were rightfully concerned, they had a good reason to be.

There were times where you would crash as soon as you got home from school, but in that case you were so low on energy that you didn’t even have the chance to dream or communicate with any demons that may be trying to talk to you.

Now that summer break had officially started, you could be an emotional wreck as much as you liked. No one could be worried about you if they didn’t see you and your parents just figured that your sleep schedule was already trashed like any teenagers was when they had no obligations.

Currently, you’re laying on top of your bed, staring off into space. You’re not focusing on anything, but you feel the pulsing in your head that developed just a couple days after your sleep issues began. For a moment, you think that maybe it wouldn’t hurt if you got one night of full rest. You couldn’t fight a demon in your head when you were so low on energy, right?

But then the image of the void flashes in your mind, and in the center of it all, you see those incredibly bright, red eyes. That’s all it takes to make you not want to sleep anymore.

You don’t want to be taken over by something else and used for bad reasons. You don’t want to hurt anyone.

You roll over on your side, and if it weren’t for your lack of sleep maybe you would have noticed the pair of legs that were in your line of sight sooner. But it took you almost a minute, and when it clicked in your brain that someone was standing in your room, you yelled out, startled.

“Wha- Ash?!” You sat up quickly, surprised to see her in your room, especially when you hadn’t heard her enter. You reeled back a bit when you felt a wave of dizziness hit you, but Ashley came to your aid quickly, helping you before sitting down next to you.

“Ash, what are you doing here?”

“Checking up on my friend.” She looked at you, trying to surmise how you had fared since she last saw you. Concern turned into disappointment the more she studied your face. “Your parents let me in, by the way.”

“I figured.” You shrugged, looking away from her. “I would hope the front door was locked or that you didn’t just break in.”

Silence followed soon after and in the wake of the awkwardness, you rubbed at your head, the pulsing still constant and still annoying.

“Why won’t you sleep?” You grimaced, not wanting to hear that question. Ash really knew how to get straight to the point with things.

“Because… I don’t want to?” You turned back to Ash as you answered the question, as lame as the answer was. Her frown deepened and her eyebrows furrowed down, making you gulp. You didn’t like seeing her mad, especially not at you.

“Listen, (Y/N). Sal and Larry told me everything. I might not believe in ghosts, but I’ve seen your powers firsthand. We’re also not stupid, we know you’ve been acting weird ever since that happened.” You breathed in quickly, scared that your friends were going to start to hate you. You gave them ample reason to, since you’ve kinda been avoiding them and keeping secrets.

“I’m not evil or anything, I swear. I’m not.” Ash leaned closer to you as you folded back into yourself, exasperated by your words.

“We know that, (Y/N)! That’s why we want to talk about what happened. We want to help you. You can’t keep going on like this, it’s really not helping anything.”

You wanted to turn away, to tell her that she wouldn’t understand. That she wouldn’t get it and neither would anyone else. You wanted to, but she was right. You weren’t very fair to her or the others, either. You didn’t even give them a chance to try and understand.

“I… I know.” Your eyes went downcast, looking at your lap, where your hands rested. You watch as Ashley takes your hand, holding it gently. You feel the pulsing in your head get stronger as you try to fight away a blush.

You didn’t want to turn away from your friends, but it was just so hard to tell them everything. If you were the one listening to someone else talk about how they were practically on the verge of being possessed, you would think they were crazy.

“Then what are you going to do?” Her voice was gentle, taking a step back from the upset tone she had just a second ago. It would be a lie to say it didn’t calm your nerves don’t, just the slightest bit.

“I’ll… talk. With you guys.” You were hesitant to say it, but you knew the issue needed to be resolved sooner rather than later. Ashley brought you into a hug, letting go of your hand. Despite being nervous to say what had been bothering you for a while, you also felt just a little relieved. Enough to even let a smile form on your face.

The both of you got up off the bed, and after telling Ash that you were going to get ready for a few minutes and freshen up (you were cooped up in your room for a while not really doing much, so you felt a little unhygienic) she told you that you guys were having a sleepover. Just two days this time.

Like how you guys had done before, you all ended up bunking in Sal’s room, since his was the least cluttered of all of yours and his dad was usually in his room working or busy doing something outside of the apartments, meaning you got interrupted from your loud hangouts a lot less. Larry might’ve had the tv and video games, but it was also pretty cramped in his room. It didn’t take a while for you to start feeling comfortable after the boys gave you a warm welcome back when you came in the room with Ashley.

You were also grateful for the fact that they didn’t jump you with questions right away. Instead, they started off with joking and messing around as per usual, and it was when they caught you nodding off on a bean bag chair with an open can of soda in your hand did they have to snap you back awake. Looking down at the soda in your hand, you realized that you almost had it spill all over you, which obviously would not have been fun to deal with.

“Hey, (Y/N)? How’ve you been?” Larry had that look of concern on his face that he always managed to pass as casual, but you knew it to be genuine worry. You yawned, waving your hand to brush off the question.

“Tired and bored. I’m glad I get to spend time with you guys.” Gingerly, you set the soda on top of Sal’s nightstand next to you, off of the floor. “I’m sorry for keeping from you guys for so long.”

“Usually the last couple weeks of the year keep us busy with finals and all.” Todd was messing with some weird contraption, complete with cut wires and a battery pack at the top as he spoke. “But it looked to us like you were dealing with more than just a rough class.”

“I…” You trailed off, trying to think of the right words to say. “I guess that whole thing with that amplifier affected me more than I’d like to admit.” Todd stopped what he was doing and looked straight at you, serious.

“Are you okay? I told you to tell me if anything bad happened.” Well aware of the fact that Sal had been staring at you from your peripheral, you gulped. Why was the nicest person in the room so intimidating?

“I just didn’t want to say anything because I- I didn’t think anyone else would understand, really.”

“Are you kidding?” Larry was talking again, hands behind his head as he leaned back on Sal’s bed. “We’ve seen ghosts. You can levitate stuff. I don’t think you’re going to find another group of people more understanding of whatever’s going on with you. Man… imagine thinking we wouldn’t get you, (Y/N). We’re your best friends.”

“It is a little silly when you put it that way.” You laughed a bit as Larry gave a sound of agreement, yawning and then closing his eyes, truly the epitome of relaxation. Ash came over to sit next you, leaning her back against the bean bag as she placed her sketchpad in her lap and began drawing. “It feels like I’ve known you guys for forever, but then I do something stupid like this and I go back to thinking that no one wants to deal with the weird kid with superpowers.”

“In all fairness, if you think telekinesis isn’t cool, then there’s something wrong with you.” A round of laughs went around the room as Todd spoke, as bluntly honest as ever when he was around the four of you. He began working on the device in his hands again, asking for the screwdriver that Sal was holding. “So, can you tell us what happened? If you don’t want to tell us right away, you don’t have to. Though, it looks like the sooner you get it off your chest, the better.”

You nodded, agreeing completely. The day you get a full night’s sleep without any messed up dreams is the day you could start being normal again.

Well, as normal as you could be.

“I… Well, okay. Um.” You fiddled with your hands, gaze averting to think again on what to say. “When I passed out, I actually woke back up somewhere else.”

Silence followed your words before you continued and when no one said anything you nervously began shifting your sight between your friends, looking to see if there was any sign of disappointment or anger or just any negative emotion.

“But I didn’t really know where I was. It was all black and I was… floating? Or something. I felt scared, but also like I was missing something. Then, all of a sudden I could sense this voice. But it wasn’t a good voice. I could tell that I didn’t want to talk to them, but it-” You breathed in deep. “It was more than just not wanting to talk. It was like if I did listen to what it said, it would be a… really bad thing. Worst than I could imagine, probably.”

There was still silence, and you surveyed the group as best you could. Larry was no longer resting with his eyes closed, Todd was hardly messing with his device anymore, though he wasn’t looking at you, more like he was just concentrating on what you were saying. You couldn’t really see what Ash had been working on as her head was blocking the view, but you could tell that she wasn’t drawing anymore. Sal was the only one paying attention directly towards you, but he didn’t make a sound.

“It scared me because I knew that whatever it wanted or could do, I didn’t want to happen. Then, I woke up on the fifth floor, and that’s why I said to get me out. Because whatever’s trying to talk to me lives in these apartments. I know that for a fact.”

Silence followed again with your words stopping in your throat. Luckily, someone finally said something.

“I get why you didn’t tell us that right away. That’s, uh…” Larry coughed, awkwardly trying to find the right thing to say. “That’s a lot to deal with in one day.”

“Yeah. It doesn’t help that you told me my eyes turned red.” You waved your hands in the air, fed up with having to deal with all of the stuff that had been going on. You were just a teenager! This whole situation was stupid and idiotic, and just plain irritating in retrospect. “I mean, you told me that you and Sal got rid of the red-eyed demon before I even moved here! And you haven’t really seen any signs of him since, right?”

Larry shook his head.

“Nope. Not one.”

“Ugh.” You slumped in your seat, your head lightly hitting the wall. “There is one last thing about all of that, though. Um… It kinda feels like there’s another person inside of me.”

The loud, obnoxious laughter coming from Larry and the snort that came from Ash made you blush bright red and sit straight up again.

“NOT LIKE THAT! THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!”

“HAHAHA! I can’t believe you said that!” You got up from your seat, grabbing the pillow that Larry was rolling over on in his laughing fit. As you started hitting him with it, he tried making a pathetic grab for it, wheezing for air.

“YOU’RE GROSS, LARRY! I’m trying to be serious!” The blush was still there, but you stopped hitting Larry, instead raising your hands up to lift him in the air.

“AGH! WHAT!” Ceasing his laughter, he instead started trying to maneuver around in the air, grasping for the blankets on the bed. Everyone else watched, stunned, but after a few seconds of grasping for anything to hold onto with his gangly limbs, they all began to laugh. “This is fuckin’ weird! I’m not flying, but I’m not on the ground! Where’s gravity?!”

You snickered, moving him from above the bed towards the bean bag you had been sitting on.

“I took it away.” You plopped him down gently, making sure he didn’t knock into Ashley or the nightstand. Speaking of, you levitated the soda you had earlier towards you, grabbing it when it was in arms distance from you. “Anyways, what was I saying?”

Despite being hauled into the air less than a minute ago, Larry adopted an insufferable expression, smirking at you.

“There was someone inside of you?”

In response to that, you levitated a pillow and threw it directly at his face.

“Teenage boys like you are the worst.” You shook your head. “It just feels like there’s another part of me that isn’t really me, but is in my head and wants to take over at some point or maybe wants me to learn something that will help it out. And whatever that is, it isn’t good. That’s why I haven’t been sleeping at all. It feels like if I sleep too long, it’ll take over. I’m not sure if that’s true, but that’s… the impression I get.”

For the first time since you started talking, Sal spoke, his voice somewhat quiet and hard to hear.

“So you haven’t slept since? Did you try?” You nodded. “Did you have a bad dream?”

Again, you nodded, biting your lip. He was right on the mark with that one.

“I had it that night. I just wanted to go to bed, but I ended up in the void again, and I opened my eyes, and it was the same scenery, but… There was red eyes this time. It tried talking to me, but the words were jumbled.”

Sal let out a short hum, thinking about what you said.

“After that, I just decided to not sleep.”

“You can’t decide to just not sleep.” Todd pointed his screwdriver at you. “If anything, it makes you more susceptible.”

“Then what am I supposed to do? Fall asleep and dream about the demon again? I couldn’t take seeing that thing every night.”

“Tell it to fuck off!”

“You’re so wise, Larry. So smart. Why hadn’t I thought of that.” You rolled your eyes as Sal got up from his spot and walked to his bed, sitting next to you. “You’re really on a roll tonight. Where’s Chill Guy Larry? I don’t need a hype man.”

“Ignoring the way he said that, I don’t think that’s a bad idea. I think that if you dream of the red-eyed demon again, you should tell him you don’t want to talk. Maybe it’s as easy as that. And even if it’s not…” Sal gestured towards the room, towards Ash, Todd, and Larry. “We’ll be here when you wake up.”

They all smiled at you, and you felt your heart warm. Todd, who wasn’t really much of a smiler in the first place, just curled up one side of his mouth whereas Ash smiled at you wide. Larry’s was close-mouthed; not as bright as Ashley’s, but there was more efforts in it than Todd’s. It was all very much them, and you knew that it was all genuine. These people cared for you, and you should be lucky for that.

“Yeah, you’re right.” You turned your head back towards Sal, who patted his hand on top of yours, comforting you. You wondered in the back of your mind if you had just imagined how he acted when you first woke up. Then, he seemed like he knew just as much as you did, and that he knew you were lying. Now, it didn’t feel that way. It just felt normal. “Now I’m excited to finally be able to sleep.”

“I would be. I’ve had my fair share of bad dreams. Um…” He trailed off and you could see his eyes flicker to the side, wanting to ask something. After prodding him to continue, he spoke again, his voice hushed. “This is sort of weird, but could you levitate me? I think it’d be fun.”

You laughed, not expecting that question.

“Why are you so shy about asking that? Yeah, I could! Do you want me to make you fly? We’d probably have to go outside for that.” You could practically see the sparkles pop up in Sal’s eyes.

“You can make me fly?”

#sally face #sally face imagines #sf fics

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zarafey · 4 years

Text

God it's really hard trying to keep the mindset of "this shitty thing happened to me, I don't want anyone else to ever expirience that" when all around you people are moaning about how much school work they have to do to graduate, even though they get so many grades on a silver plate. Meanwhile you missed more months of school in your last year because of having a fucking whole ass burnout with 17, you didn't have any online classes or anyone considering that this is a really difficult learning time for you and you had to work your ass of to get a passing grade, redoing every test, every exam, every missed homework you built up over those 5 months and you did it, you fucking did that all while still being severely depressed and stationary in a psychiatric clinic. You did all that, even went to the final exams to get your full graduation, but you didn't pass one oral exam, one single 10 minute exam, by a few points. And now you are standing here looking around and guess what? Those oral exams? They got cut for this year's graduates because of the difficult (maximum) 1 and a half months they couldn't go to school, during which they had online classes, during which all tests and exams got also cut. And you get exited, because that must mean that the one exam you still need to redo also gets cut, right? Wrong, you are exempt from that rule, nobody cares that you also have difficulty preparing for that exam during quarantine. Nobody cares that you had to work your ass of to even get grades last years, not even speaking of the final exams.

And this is not against the students, yes I get extremely frustrated when they tell me how hard it was to study without your class or a teacher, but I get it too, because I've had to do that I I know first hand how fucking hard it is to study while being confined to a small space without much help. I've been there. But was I allowed to complain even once? I had a teacher tell me that I'm not gonna any special treatment just because I was "a little sad" after I asked very politely if I could have a little bit more time for this one homework. I got told that i was just lazy and that's why I "faked depression to get out of school" (I'm lazy? Sure yes tell that to the student who basically finished all of 12th grade in barely 1 month). So no I wasn't allowed to complain, I didn't get anything handed like that, I had to work my ass off (and overwork myself into another fucking awful wave of depression) for EVERY SINGLE THING. Did anyone (except my mom and my therapist) care that I had often multiple panic attacks a day? Did anyone care that I barely slept again even with sleep medications? Nope, I didn't care either because I was determined to shove it in everyone's face, who ever said I was lazy or stupid, how fucking amazing I am. Did I get a gigantic high out of it after I finished my last exam and with that had passed 12th grade? uhhhh HELL YEAH. Did that high last exactly 12 minutes till I passed out from exhaustion and then was bed ridden for 2 weeks because of a pretty bad fever? Yes. Was I after all that almost at the point where I was when I got my burnout? Yeah definitely.

So yeah I'm angry and I'm frustrated and I'm mad and I'm depressed because you know what? I could have redone that grade and that would have included me in those Corona rules. That would have probably been way better for my mental health too. But I didn't do that, I fought my way through all my setbacks and I did it with virtually no help at all. But I can't turn back time anymore.

So yeah, I don't know what the point of this post is. Maybe it's "similar rules for similar circumstances?" maybe it's just me venting (it's me venting, I'm just tired and angry), but yeah, to anyone graduating during this time, to anyone who has to handle a lot right now, I understand you, I've been there, and you are doing so amazing. It's OK to not be able to handle everything. I know it's frustrating to have some major setbacks because of forces outside of your control, please look after yourself, you are all doing so good and I'm so happy to see you all handle this as best as you can (and if your best is just getting out of bed and seeing that your base needs are met, that's basically my best right now to so no worries)

And to all the people who made those rules whilst ignoring people dealing with this even if there is no global epidemic, to all the teachers who are now fussing over their student after having ignored or dismissed student who had similar problems before. To all the teachers who told their students they are lazy or stupid because of their mental health or because of neurodivergency (turns out I did all that while also being undiagnosed with adhd, an hurray to hyperfocus, without you I probably wouldn't have been able to pass a grade in 1 month), to all the people who made the decision to cut people from higher education because of a few stupid exams and a big "a few years back that was doctorate grade" paper 17 and 18 year Olds have ro write whilst also dealing with passing 12th grade, studying for the finals, organizing prom and every thing else that might happen over the span of a few month.

FUCK YOU

Fuck you for not caring when we called for help, fuck you for not listening when we asked for change, Fuck you.

Sincerely, a angry teen, aka a full citizen who pays taxes, goes to vote and signed up to volunteer for a year for this country.

At least I don't have to pay for those months in the hospital or for that time in 11th grade where I went to the hospital and had physical therapy multiple times because I developed chronic pain (I did also go to school during that time, I passed out bc of pain multiple times and was generally pretty high on pain meds but who cares right?)

#Rant #education system #Austria #Fuck the government and high education #Who wants to build a self sufficient small town with me? I'm gonna run the inn

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scripttorture · 7 years

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This blog is extremely helpful. Thank you for running it. I'm gonna try and be as detailed a si can be with this ask since that seems to help you, so forgive me if this runs a bit long. So I'm writing a fanfic in which my MC was in a mobile suit explosion at the end of a war, then captured by enemy troops and held until he was stabilized from his initial injuries, then was repeatedly sold off. Information on the MC: He's in his mid twenties, prior to the explosion he was in fair health, (1/?)

(2/?) He has a history of past childhood family abuse and bulimia but has been recovered from both for several years at the time of the explosion. His physical health is fairly good as he is a well trained and wealthy soldier. The explosion left him with extensive scare tissue and internal damage as well as some muscle damage in his legs, all of which were treated by his initial captors only to the extent of keeping him alive, not making his comfortable.Once he was passed on to new captors(cont.(3/?) (cont.) he was subject to several types of abuse common for prisoners of war: long-term starvation, basic beatings, periods of solitary condiment, sexual abuse, and psychological manipulation. For the last part, since he was being held and traded mostly by his direct enemies, he would be repeatedly told that he was a monster and other worse variations, and they would attempt to force him to hurt other soldiers from his own side and left him with their bodies, or force them to hurt him.(4/5) He would also be made to watch the news coverage of post war damage, and a subsequent war that occurred where his daughter (whom he was unaware of) was used as the "face" of the war. He has extreme guilt for his actions in the first war (as he provoked a lot of trouble and he was aware of it). He also did NOT plan on living through the first war. He survived by chance and because his enemies wouldn't let him die. And they used any information they could get on him and is past against him.(5/5) My questions for this: after he is rescued, would it be realistic for him to be able to put on an act some of the time that he's fine/indifferent, but have extremely low swings and periods of dissociation and self harm if he's triggered? What are some possible symptoms he could have that I may have overlooked/are underutilized in fiction? And what sort of care would best help him learn to function again? He does have a few people who have stood by him after the wars that could help him.

While I realise this probably isn’t the period and placementyou’re going for it’s reminding me a lot of the period immediately post WorldWar 1 in Europe. A lot of people came back with pretty deep psychologicaldamage and that was the first time European society really attempted toconfront it. The ‘treatment’ of veterans with mental health issues was reallynot pretty. There was widespread lack of understanding and sympathy.

Conversely the treatment of physical injuries was pretty good for the time. Popular feeling inmany European countries after the War was strongly in favour of giving veteransthe best possible care. Institutions to help the disabled sprung up quickly anda lot more effort than before was put into helping disabled people remainemployed or learn new skills.

If you’re based in the UK the Science Museum in London has anexhibit particularly on injuries in WW1, both psychological and physical. Icertainly found it moving and inspiring (though more Curie would always begood). If you’ve got any chance to access it you might as well.

Back on topic-

It seems to me that if he wascoming across as fine/indifferent initially that probably indicatesdissociation. It sounds like you’re having him swing from dissociating (andhence ‘looking’ fine) to depressive. That’s a perfectly reasonable pattern ofsymptoms.

ScriptTraumaSurvivorhas a spread sheet designed to help people keep track of their character’strauma symptoms. You might find it useful. Icertainly found a testing-version useful.

In terms of under-used symptoms, well honestly there are a lot but I’m going to narrow them down tothe ones that fit what you’ve already described about the character’sresponses.

With depression particularly I think the physical symptoms are under used in fiction. A common symptom isnausea and difficulty eating. Stomach pains and intestinal trouble are alsopretty common. A feeling of lethargy is common, being tired and yet havingtrouble sleeping. And I think all of these fit pretty well with your scenario.

At the risk of over-sharing I threw up a lot during my first major depressive episode. I got nausea prettybadly, but I was hungry and/or actually enjoying my food. The result was Itried to eat a ‘normal’ amount for me when I couldn’t manage it and I’d bringit all back up within ten minutes. It took months to figure out how to managethat. (Smaller meals and more of them, plus bland foods. In the meantime I was constantly hungry).

I’ve never seen a character written with depression manifestthose symptoms. But apparently it isvery common.

Another symptom of depression that I don’t see very often infiction is the character being….apathetic and lethargic to the point of notbeing able to get out of bed. I’ve seen this in real life but I’ve never seenit in fiction. This would especially tie in if his depression makes itdifficult for him to take care of himself and where he lives.

A symptom that’s rarely used and fits with dissociation (andself-harm) is……..particularly extravagant self harm fantasies. Things that gobeyond self harm and into self mutilation. Wanting to amputate a limb, orbreak/crush it. Wanting to cut off the nose, scar the face, sew up the lips anddrill a hole in the back are all examples I’ve heard of.

This can be separate to thedrive for pain that feeds self-harm and more about body image or ratherdisconnection from body image. The character may not feel a strong desire to carry out these fantasies or attemptthem but have repeated intrusive thoughts about, for example, cutting off theirarm.

You’re giving a strong impression that this character hasvery low self-worth and self-esteem. Following the sort of ordeal he’s beenthrough that’s normal. He might havevery narrow ideas about what he’s ‘good for’. I know that turns up in fiction alot but it does so for a reason.

I’ve been talking to ScriptTraumaSurvivor about triggersquite a lot over the past few weeks. Theyhave a post on them here, which you might find useful.

Issues with hygiene are another symptom that comes up a lotin real life but not in fiction. The character suddenly not caring about hisclothes, hair, when he last showered- Not keeping his living space clean andtidy is more commonly how that’s shown.

Irrational fear of everyday objects (or being triggered bythem) is another one that I’ve not seen come up. I’ve not seen a characterdevelop a fear of the shower, even if they’ve been through something that mightmake confined spaces a problem.

You said he’s rich. He might well throw a lot of money intotrying to get rid of his injuries and scars. Things like that can serve aspotent physical reminders of what happened. But…money and the best surgeons inthe world won’t necessarily be able to wipe it all away in the sense he mightwant. Surgery, physio and the like take timeand aren’t always successful.

I’ve seen a couple of things in fiction where people havecovered scars with tattoos in an effort to reclaim them, which does happen inreal life. It probably has a better prognosis than extensive surgery to reducescars that are already pretty old.

Memory problems also rarely seem to show up in fiction butare hugely common in real life. Or perhaps more accurately the way memory problems show up in fictionisn’t accurate to real life. Victims rarely forget who they are or key elementsof their past (ie childhood before torture). They don’t forget their names orwhere they live.

But they do oftenstruggle to learn new skills. They often have trouble remembering details oftheir abuse, or conversely remember it in great(but not necessarily accurate) detail. He may have forgotten a lot of littlethings about his friends and family, which could be distressing especially withhis already low self worth (how couldhe forget his best friend’s birthday when they’re so much better than he deserves?Etc-).

He might have forgotten things about his hobbies. He may wellbe constantly forgetting little things like his keys, or what someone asked himto do that morning and that can feed into someone feeling ‘useless’ or likethey’re ‘going mad’.

I think….in order to make the symptoms you’re using seem realyou should have him try to reduce contact with the people who care about him.Have him avoid people sometimes and try to reduce contact to....contact on his terms. This means the time periods when he ‘seems fine’are….balanced by long stretches when no one has seen him. The less direct contact timehe has the more likely he’ll be able to come across as normal.

As to the last part-

Recovery take a long time and it’s never easy. This charactercan and should access professional help (you should take a look at ScriptShrink’sblog to see what that might look like).

Having a support network is incredibly important though.Having friends and family who won’t judge him: a character he can rely on toturn up at 3am if he phones because he’s having nightmares, someone else who’swilling to come by every day and make sure he at least eats breakfast. Thatsort of thing.

There isn’t a….agreed on treatment method for torture. Weare, to be frank, making this shit up as we go. At the moment we just don’t know.

But this was a war. And that means this character was not alone. His experience will havebeen shared by other veterans andthere are likely to be groups and societies of these people. Seeking them out(perhaps with encouragement from his friends) could well help.

It could help put his feelings and experiences inperspective: he isn’t going mad, other people are having these memory problems,he isn’t useless other people have the same low self-esteem.

I hope that helps, I realise the treatment and recovery stuffis a little vague. A strong support network, shared experience,professional help and being believedwhen he says he was raped/tortured- those are all important. With all of themtogether he’d have a relatively good chance of recovery and learning to livewith his symptoms.

Oh and if this is a Marvel/Iron Man fic, I’d very much like alink when you’re done.

Disclaimer

#tw torture #tw rape #recovery from torture #effects of torture #psychological effects of torture #treatment of torture #fanfiction #sci fi ask #mental illness #portrayal of mental illness in fiction #shinigami-of-excellence

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