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fictionxlover · 5 years

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8x01

Let me start off by saying this was a good episode, especially an opening episode. Now let me just break this down by character so it’s easier.

Arya:

I LOVE how Arya is more happier and she is showing more of a soft side. It makes me so emotional how happy she is right now even though impending doom is on its way. The Jon/Arya reunion was SO BEAUTIFUL! Her jumping into his arms like old times, the smiles, Jon showing her the weapon. I also love how it highlighted that they will ALWAYS love each other but both of them have changed. You saw more of that when Arya defended Sansa. Arya is not that innocent 10 year old who enjoyed talking shit about Sans with Jon lmao like she has grown into a young woman, and has got this closure/closer with her sister. And ik some will be like ‘ARYA WOULD NEVER-’ but...yall said Arya instincts are always right (I saw it particually with last season too during Stark Sis Bowl lol) so if Arya says Sansa is just looking out for the fam, I believe her. And I think it made Jon be like, huh my little sister has grown and I trust her instincts. Also, again before haters jump on um c’mon, realistically at least 8/10 of us as adults see one of our siblings differently than we saw them as children. That’s just a fact. Moving on, um, GENDRYAAAA!! There reunion was more than I EVER expected! Her defending him, teasing him, smiling, gendry smiling, but also like woah is this beautiful lady flirting with me?? It was BEAUTIFUL!! I have some fears but I’m just going to try enjoy them moment. Overall, THIS WAS MY GIRL’S EPISODE YALL-

Sam:

I felt so bad for Sam this episode. At first he is excited to meet another Targaryen then he finds out that she burned his family alive. What I loved about this scene is that it kinda made Sam’s rose colored glasses fall off. I feel like after being friends with Aemon, and learning the stories, Sam saw the Targaryens in just a positive light. It reminded me how young Sansa believed all those stories about true knights but then reality punched her in the face. Just like it did with Sam. Not every Targaryen is a bad person but they do have their flaws. Their way of justice might not be what we think is morally right but in their eyes its justice. Then him trying to pull it together, and reuniting with Jon was beautiful. But...….sorry Sam telling Jon the truth kinda ruined the reveal for me. I can’t even disagree what Sam said about ‘would dany kneel for you?’ but it seemed like his resentment with Dany overpowered the reveal. It made it more about jon might overthrow dany than jon being shocked and trying to process everything. Also BRAN SHOULD HAVE TOLD JON BUT WHATEVER D&D

Tyrion:

Tyrion, Tyrion, Tyrion.....I like show!Tyrion more than book!Tyrion but they really dumbed his ass down. He really thinks Cersei is coming???? WITH HELP??? I can’t tell if he knows the truth and is just playing the game or if he actually believes his sister??? it would work at any of those ways because Tyrion’s fatal flaw is that he always wanted to be accepted by his family. His abusers basically. So, I won’t be surprised if any of these options are true.

Daenerys:

Let me tell you guys I like Dany, I LOVVEEE Book!Dany more but I have to confess I have Stark stan reactions first. So it takes me while to be like let me take a step back and see this from Dany’s pov. I understand Dany is basically like I am here to FIGHT FOR YOU and yall just disrespectful. I feel bad for her when Jon isn’t really defending her in PUBLIC. I felt bad when Sam cried and she was like fuck. I feel kinda bad for her that Sansa doesn’t like her. But Dany...some of her reactions is....just D&D bs.

First of all let’s talk about dragons. Dragonriders are suppose to have this special connection with there dragons. Not every random person can just hop on a fucking dragon. With Jon it makes sense he could because he is a Targaryen. However, Dany doesn’t know that! So yeah its cute her FWB is riding her other dragon but its weird she isn’t having alarms ringing in her head. Then why are yall making her sound like a 17 year old ‘we can stay here forever’, sis do you even like the North? You’re dragons are low key dying in this area lmao. And its just cringy. Why can’t yall show Jon/Dany talking to each other. Telling each other about their lives. Why is it just cringy fan fiction bs??? Even I’m like let me try get into this rl but they offer nothing and the chem is just not there between these actors. Its not there fault but its hard to even like them when we do not get more intimate moments with them getting to know the other.

Now lets talk about Dansa. I believe Dany thought Sansa would be more warm to her but once Sansa said ‘Winterfell is yours’ Dany knew, Sansa doesn’t like her. She’s not here because she believes in Dany. Sansa is doing this because she HAS to. And that pissed Dany off. And I think Dany doesn’t like how Sansa brings up stuff in the meetings too. They should be brought up and Dany is like ugh this girl hates me lmao. Its interesting to me because I’m pretty sure this is the first time Dany has to communicate with other rulers/kinda queens.

I feel like Dany’s journey before Westeros, people bowed down to her or worshipped/believed in her quickly. But in Westeros that’s not how its going to be especially considering her family history. She will have to earn their respect/belief and I think so far Dany hates it and not use to it taking so long. Even with Jon she said Sansa has to respect me or...XD. Listen I’m not saying Dany was threatening to exile or burn Sansa but you can tell she getting impatient.

I am looking forward to Dansa scenes next episode though. Was this Dany’s episode? A little but I believe like Sam the colored glasses are falling off and she is realizing its not going to be easy. None of it is.

Bran: I really love how Bran is showing more emotion than he did last season. He seemed more emotional reuniting with Jon, got frustrated when they weren’t focusing on the threat. It’s showing that Bran is not dead. He is still in there. What I enjoyed the most about this episode is that it showed that Bran knows what needs to be done. It makes you wonder if he can see into the future or knows something? He knew to wait for Jaime already. It just makes you wonder...how far in the future can Bran see into and what time travel shit is going to happen lol.

I believe Bran has one goal to defeat the NK and he is going to tell everyone to shut the hell up and get to work. What I didn’t like with Bran was how he said Jon isn’t my brother, you tell him. Does Bran have some resentment towards Ned? Is he going to treat Jon differently a bit? Did he say that because he already knows what will happen???? I just have a lot of questions yall -

Jon: *sighs* There are two well maybe 3 possible reasons for Jon’s behavior.

1) He has some sort of agenda

2) He just a Northern Fool making the same mistakes Ned/Robb made, death didn’t change him and that’s D&D’s fault.

3) He is a Northern fool BUT the battle of winterfell will shake and fuck him up sm that it will guide him on a path to make better decisions, and growth.

I loved Jon’s scenes with Arya, Bran, and Sansa. Jon hugging Bran so tight and joking about him being a man now. Then with Arya holding her tight, crying. It was SO emotional. I feel like with both Bran and Arya he saw they are them but have changed just like Jon. He loves all his siblings sm and Ik in his heart the choices he makes is because he doesn’t want to lose them.

I also enjoyed his scenes with Sansa. I always said since s6, Jon/Sansa show sm vulnerability with their eye contact and emotional reactions, this episode proved its still there. Sansa bringing up her resentment towards Jon bending the knee, him trying to convince her that Dany is good, but then we get that moment we’re he is like do you have faith in me still? And Sansa eyes looked teary and said of course. It shows Jon just wants Sansa to believe and have faith in him. And Sansa just wants to protect the family, which includes Jon, and is sadden Jon doesn’t well not respect her opinion but still doesn’t take her advice to heart? And I feel this showed when he was badmouthing Sansa to Arya and Dany.

I mean it makes sense to Dany he would be like she didn’t like me growing up, to cool Dany down that Sansa is hard to get to know....but with Arya...it was like he wanted another fam member to agree with him. That Sansa is an arrogant, thinks she smarter bitch and knows nothing. Then when he got a different reaction from a more mature, older Arya, I think it shooked him. He even mentioned Sansa needs remember I am her family. It’s like Jon thought he was in a different time. That its s1 and they all are children. But once Arya defends Sansa, Jon realizes woah things are different, we all are different. It just shows Jon still has some resentment towards Sansa like Arya did last season with Sansa but they all have to move on. Jon still is seeking approval like Tyrion kinda with the Lannisters but they need to stop and move on.

Jon’s relationship with Dany is up and down for me. I love him getting to know other Targaryen, like in the dragonpit scene in s7 and them riding dragons together but the romantic aspect of their relationship if off to me like I said in the Dany part. They never talk. Yes they talk business, and they say fanfic things but I want an ACTUAL intimate, conversation when they are talking about the past, present, and future. They are trying to understand each other. WHERE THE HELL IS THAT??

I loved Jon riding a dragon and his experience was so realistic except I would be having a panic attack after and Dany would have to give me my pill and hold me lmao but I still don’t like how they don’t have a real talk. Also, Jon never defends her in public too???? All he says is I had no choice. BITCH SHE LITERALLY SAID I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO SAY I BEND THE KNEE TILL AFTER WAR DUMBASS-

i’m sorry jon stans but its true. there are just so many times you can say he is doing it for greater good. it just seems like jon caused more drama. then not having a reaction to what sam’s fam went through??? your bff’s fam?? And being like that would be treason, and being like I executed men before. Yes you have Jon but in certain situations. When they are being disrespectful assholes. I’m not saying what Dany did was wrong or right but we all know the character of Jon Snow. I don’t think he would actually burn someone with a dragon except if he HAS to or he lost his mind. I like the idea of Jon losing his mind but we can’t have nice things in this show djhjfhlfk.

the reveal again was overpowered by sam and I feel like Jon believed it too easily. yes he knows sam would never lie but he should have stomped over to bran right after. its just TOO EASY.

Listen, Jon and Dany are flawed characters. I still like them but I’m also not afraid to call them out on some things I don’t agree with. Idc they are song of ice and fire lmao XD

Theon: My boi Theon came through. He is going to fight for the Starks and die for them like he SHOULD HAVE. That’s all I have to say. Also THEONSA MIGHT RISE YALL-

Euron: This Euron is no book!Euron but this man still confuses me lmao. Like he acts like he is in POTC, all he wants to do is fuck the queen which I think is code for I want her to have my baby then ima kill her ass. Like if he actually outwits/kill cersei….I will be mad but also be like well that was expected???

Bronn: This is so predicable I can’t even right now. He’s either going to kill one or both or the Lannister bros , get killed or fight with them. If there’s some other twist? COOL. but rn i’m like really? You want me to believe that Jaime or Tyrion will fucking die by Bronn’s hands? Crossbow imagery is fucking high grade A+ Lannister tragedy excellence but Cersei should pull the trigger not fucking Bronn.

Jaime: Book!Jaime is pulling through rn. I’m not one of those people who are like he is on a redemeption arc. Jaime doesn’t have to do that. But I am interested with his rl with Bran, Brienne, and what he does. Also, I hope he is like Dany sis your father was crazy XD

Cersei: I felt bad when my girl had to fuck Euron. Cersei is on that S3 Azula energy. She is losing her MIND and knows she is losing. And it’s making her more crazier. Then the fact that Jaime left her too. It reminds me when Zuko went on Team Avatar side and Azula was like FUCK YOU TRAITOR I’LL MEET YOU AT DAWN FOR THE FIGHT OF THE CENTURY ASSHOLE XD

Also, Azula lost her mind when Ty Lee and Mai betrayed her too. Cersei has NO one like Azula did and now she is just losing it. I really hope she has more of a plan and is not just going to make impulsive choices then die for it. I need one last thing from Cersei. Kill Euron in bed, do something.

Sansa: It’s funny because Arya seems the most happiest rn while Sansa is more anxious and protective. Sansa is not happy Dany is here. I want to compare this situation to something yall might understand more.

Modern AU TIME: The stark siblings parents have died and unfortunately the oldest brother Robb has died as well. Robb has the left Jon the Stark family home. Now Jon’s name might be on the deed but he makes mistakes, leaves, and Sansa who cares a lot about the home/family runs it. Then one day Jon comes back and says hey I got married to this girl you never met, her name is Dany, also she owns the house with me now, and will stay with us. Now would you be 110% accepting or would you have some resentments and wary?

YOU WOULD BE LIKE WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOME? JON WHERE WERE YOU? WHY DIDN’T YOU SEND A TEXT? WHAT YOU MEAN YOU BEND THE KNEE??? WHAT THE FUCK-

We all know Dany can be sweet and loving but Sansa doesn’t know that. Sansa is one of the last political savvy characters on this show. She said it last season, Dany is here for the throne. She wants people to bend the knee. North is one of those kingdoms. Yes, Dany said she would fight for the North but Sansa isn’t Jon. She doesn’t know Dany and just looks at the facts.

What I find funny again too because this Dansa war is hilarious is that when Sansa says something in public that is also shady to Dany...its also a subject that needs to be brought up. It’s not like Sansa is saying your a stupid bitch in public. She is saying we need feed everyone and I wasn’t counting on your soldiers and dragons. What do your dragons eat? Dany comeback was KILLER but we also see the dragons are NOT happy and NOT getting enough of food.

Also, I find it hilarious because last season some of us were mentioning Sansa preparing the North, and some were like that doesn’t matter. But it does???? Which makes sense but I’m also shocked they mentioned it. I think this Dansa war will end but them having conflict isn’t shocking. They have sm in common but they are also very different individuals. Could Sansa be more nice to Dany? Yes, but she’s Sansa and after her experience I can see why she isn’t accepting to Dany. At a young age she was accepting to Lannisters and looked what happened.

I loved Sansa/Tyrion reunion. I loved how Tyrion praised Sansa, how Sansa said sorry even though she didn’t have to, but also her shading Tyrion. It was the BEST. And I think it made Tyrion be like oh shit maybe she right- XD

I already talked about Jon/Sansa scene but again it shows Sansa cares for family/home and it saddens her Jon doesn’t take her advice to heart. Also, I did love she had the guts to say did you bend for the good or cuz you like her? Cuz business and feelings always gets mixed up. It also teases that Sansa is basically saying you did the opposite of what I told you again, you are following robb/ned mistakes.

Some might be annoyed at Sansa like some might be annoyed by Dany but I think this episode showed that Sansa is protective of her family and is doing her duty has a Stark.

White Walkers: I don’t even know what to say to that. Some say it looks like a Targaryen sigil maybe who knows. I’m just going to wait and see how they explain the WWs.

Basically this episode was a good start to the impending doom but shows it’s not going to be easy for any of them.

(btw we all have different opinions, i’m okay with talking and agreeing to disagree but no hate please :) )

#got spoilers #game of thrones #got #arya stark #sam tarly #daenerys targaryen #sansa stark #cersei lannister #tyrion lannister #bran stark #jon snow #euron greyjoy #Jaime lannister

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sheikah · 7 years

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7.01 Thoughts

Watching the premiere last night was so much fun, you guys! I loved it and don’t have any complaints to make. So far it seems like 1. the leaks are probably real and 2. they did not do the season justice. I think this is going to be an epic story, maybe our best season yet! I have a lot to say so I’m putting it under the cut.

So from the outset I absolutely loved the opener with Arya and the Freys. It was really clever how there were small hints of it really being Arya in his overall demeanor and the way David Bradley approached the scene. And the “proper wine for proper lords” line reminded me of when Arya insisted to Tywin Lannister that her parents taught her to “talk proper.”

The big reveal and her declaration that “The North remembers, and Winter came for House Frey” gave me instant chills and I LOVED it. It does worry me a tiny bit though, if I’m honest. At Con of Thrones I sat on a panel about the women in Westeros and when one of the speakers asked the audience if Arya is “too far gone,” almost everyone raised their hand in agreement. I was LIVID and scandalized and couldn’t have disagreed more. But we are starting to see a more ruthless side to her.

Don’t get me wrong--revenge narratives are my absolute favorite thing in the world and I was CHEERING when those Freys died. And from what Arya said to them, they all played an actual role in the RW and aren’t innocent. But at the same time, when she came upon those Lannister soldiers she was looking at their weapons and seemingly planning a way to kill them at first. And that makes me sad. I want her to be in a place where she can trust again. She deserves it, and seeing her laugh with them was one of my favorite moments in the episode.

Speaking of those Lannister soldiers, what an unexpected treat! Starting with BotB last year, I really feel like the show is doing a better job of reflecting the harsh realities of war, and one of those realities is that not everyone on the opposing side is evil. War is full of all kinds of people and the way it destroys so many lives, even those of good people, is part of what makes it so awful.

Sure, Ed Sheeran’s derpy face out of nowhere was funny for a second, but this scene was moving (at least to me) and clearly it moved Arya, too, who we can assume was finding common ground with these men, especially the one who mentioned love between a father and daughter. As sweet and wholesome (who would have thought I’d be using those adjectives in a GoT recap?!) as this scene was, I do think it hints at a darker future for these men. We might see them dead on the battlefield against Dany’s army in the very near future, and I dread that.

We didn’t get much from Bran and Meera but I was glad to at least see them. I got a chuckle out of Edd asking for proof that Bran is truly a Stark, and instead of providing real proof he just says some cryptic and broody stuff about Winter and Edd is like, “Yep. Kin of Jon Snow for sure.”

Speaking of Jon, I loved the scenes in Winterfell. They were surprisingly tense but also offered moments of humor and warmth. The Jon and Sansa face-off was interesting because I can see both sides of the argument.

But I found it odd that she brought up Robb, who took the opposite approach to Jon’s when it comes to handling Karstark treachery by beheading their lord. So by contrast I think Jon’s level-headedness is smart and fitting in this scenario.

If there weren’t ice zombies marching South then perhaps the Starks could afford to hold their allies at arm’s length or hurt some feelings by punishing the Karstarks and Umbers. But as things stand they need a united North to face the WW and Jon made the right call. I feel like this was confirmed when Ned Umber was revealed to be a small child younger than Rickon. Rendering him homeless in the middle of Winter isn’t justice.

I also really like that Jon is making it a point to have the women train for the war as well. Women need to be able to defend themselves just as much as men, and of course I loved how this moment gave Lyanna a chance to shine. It was my understanding that Mormont women already trained in fighting to some extent but I’m excited to see what Jon’s new policies mean for the future. And when Lyanna was setting Lord Glover straight, Brienne looked SO PROUD of that fiery little future warrior woman and I was LIVING.

Anyway, overall I enjoyed getting a glimpse of Jon’s ruling strategy which so far seems really solid. And KING Jon is the sexiest thing that I have ever seen in my life. The maester calling Jon “Your Grace” almost killed me. Things are only going to get better from here :)

Also in Winterfell I loved seeing Sansa sass Littlefinger into silence, which I didn’t even know was possible. It was hilarious and savage and I love her spirit and snark so much. It’s good to see that even though D&D are trying to trick us into thinking that dark!Sansa or Stark Bowl is happening, the reality is that Sansa is not even remotely fooled by LF and is only arguing with Jon to voice her opinion--as she should.

The Brienne and Tormund shippy moment was hilarious and a good way to break the tension of the previous scene. It was cute how Brienne was just training with Pod calmly and normally until Tormund arrived and then since she can’t handle feelings she just turned it up to eleven and basically beat the hell out of poor Pod hahaha. It seems some scenes with them were cut but I am excited to see where it goes from here, even though in my heart I ship Jaime x Brienne.

Speaking of Jaime his conversation with Cersei was deliciously awkward. I loved when she asked him if he was afraid of her and he responded, “Should I be?” That’s the question on all our minds, Jaime. Well actually I want to know if SHE should be afraid of YOU, Mr. Valonqar ;)

This scene was very interesting to me as someone who is looking forward to the Jon/Dany pairing because Cersei emphasizing that she and Jaime are the last Lannisters who are poised to start a dynasty parallels how Jon and Dany, the last Targaryens, will soon be in a similar position. But while one pairing represents fear and oppression the other represents hope for a better and more progressive future for the realm.

I also think that that conversation revealed how far Cersei has slipped in terms of her sanity. She called her son a traitor for killing himself. Not good. Not good at all. But at the same time this conversation also foreshadows Cersei’s potential pregnancy with another heir. If that plays out, it will be interesting to see how it effects her schemes and Jaime’s perception of her.

Their meeting with Euron was much funnier and more interesting than I expected. First and foremost I just want to establish that I really enjoyed Euron’s sexy trash pirate outfit haha. He looked great. And the humor he brought to his villainy was reminiscent of Ramsay, who I will honestly miss on the show. So I’m glad to see that he will be as scene-stealing and maniacal as I’d hoped. Also, “two good hands” is the new pickup line for the ages lol.

The scenes of the Brotherhood were surprisingly emotional and it absolutely wrecked me to see Sandor so visibly affected by the deaths of that farmer and his daughter. I also pitied him a lot when he was looking into the fire and seemed absolutely SHOOK at what he saw there. I think of The Hound as a simple man who DID NOT sign up for a zombie war.

While there was a lot of humor in his relentless roasting of Thoros (lmao @ the “top knot” comment) the grave-digging scene showed us Sandor’s depth and continued redemption, and also hinted at a possible friendship between him and Thoros later on :)

Sam’s plot was the least interesting to me but I understand that we need to establish what his life is like at the Citadel and get some more low key scenes of him and Gilly researching to set up the big! reveals! they will give us later in the season.

The poop montage was absolutely revolting but really well done and I liked how they contrasted the shit with the soup and showed how they sort of became one and the same to poor Sam. But as gross as that was, the most disturbing part for me was Jorah reaching through the bars. For them to only show his arm, he must be looking very bad right now so I hope they hurry up and show his cure soon. The fact that even in his current plight, he is still eager for news of Dany is honestly really touching as much as I don’t ship Jorah and Dany.

Oh! and Jim Broadbent was perfect as the arch maester! I love him so much and got lots of Harry Potter feels from his voice + Sam sneaking into the restricted section of the library haha.

And of course, the last and most important plot line from this episode--Dany! I love her so very much and have waited so many years for Dany to be in Westeros. I had company over to watch the episode but still couldn’t hold back the tears when she arrived. Emilia’s face in this scene was just so intense and filled with longing and relief. I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU GUYS OH MY GOOOODDD.

Dany in Westeros really is a game-changing event and I can’t believe we’re this blessed.

So Dragonstone itself looks beautiful and I’m glad we’re getting to see more of it than we did with Stannis. I also enjoyed the way they decided to play this scene with no dialogue. No witty quips from Tyrion or surly observations from Grey Worm, just letting the scenery and the actors’ body language carry the weight.

My favorite moment was Dany walking up to the throne, the throne of Aegon I himself, something she’s been dreaming about for years, and WALKING RIGHT BY IT, instead focusing her attention on the sort of council chamber where she and her companions will work together as a TEAM. Because as much as people try to tear her down, at heart Dany is a team player who is growing and changing and I am so excited to see where her story goes from here.

Lastly, as a Jonerys shipper, I think this bolder, more assertive Jon is someone who Dany will be instantly intrigued by. I also think that the peek at the next episode and the line delivered to Jon about not trusting Targaryens is going to set up an interesting dynamic for their relationship. Because Jon isn’t going to listen to that person and automatically distrust Dany based on her Targaryen heritage. His actions this episode should be final proof that he isn’t going to judge someone for the sins of their father.

But I do think that both of them having such strong ideals and ideas of how to approach repairing the realm at this moment in the narrative, when Dany probably hasn’t even heard of WW, is going to cause some friction. They will challenge one another at first. But as the season progresses I think they’re going to find like-minded allies in each other and it’s going to be a beautiful partnership to watch :’) Overall I loved this episode so, so much and can’t wait for next week, and of course episode three. A Jonerys meeting!

If you’ve read this far, thanks for caring about my thoughts haha. What did you think about this episode and what do you hope to see moving forward?

#game of thrones #got #jonerys #got spoilers #ep1 spoilers

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loavesofoaves · 7 years

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GOT: Episode 7 x 03 Review

You know, for a season that D & D have been hyping as “nonstop action,” I’m rather bored. Just because the pacing is fast does not mean anything of actual substance is happening. Episode 3 proves that.

The episode opens with Jon and Daenerys meeting for the first time; a meeting that has been hyped since the show began. And it was remarkably underwhelming. As to be expected, Deadpan Targaryen is only concerned with the throne, and Jon tries to tell her that they have bigger fish to fry and that winning the throne will be for nought if the White Walkers invade Westeros. They have a back and forth on what’s more important: Jon bending the knee or the fight to the North, which goes nowhere after 20 minutes. But hey, we got some memeworthy Daenerys reading off all her titles and Papa Davos saying “This is Jon Snow” so LOL. (BTW, is Davos even a character anymore? I feel like he exists solely to be a straw man and fatherly mansplainer.) Also, why is Jon’s resurrection a secret now? You’d think with this show logic even Hot Pie would know about that.

The thing is, I really want to sympathize with these characters. If Emilia Clarke didn’t play Daenerys as so god damn deadpan, she almost would’ve had a nice speech about how she is not going to back down after all she’s been through. I’m shocked that they acknowledged that Drogo raped her when it turned into TRUE LUB on the show. And if there are bigger fish to fry, then why doesn’t Jon doesn’t bend the knee, especially considering Winterfell isn’t even his god damn birthright anyways?

But dramatically satisfyingTM, amirite?

There are also a few scenes at Dragonstone that reflect the sad truth that GOT has become a parody of itself. Jon stands brooding on a ledge and Tyrion gives him shade for it. Tyrion tries to outsass and mansplain things to Daenerys and she calls him out for making shit up and pretending it’s the most sage advice ever. I honestly can’t tell you what any of them talked about other than mining Dragonglass, that’s how boring those scenes were.

Remember when these characters actually had development, guys? What sweet summer children we were.

Speaking of ruined character development, we see Euron parading Yara and the Sand Fakes around a cheering King’s Landing. Because no one cares that Cersei blew hundreds of people up and it was totally an accident? MMkay. Euron brings Ellaria and Tyene as a gift to Cersei and then asks Jaime if she likes being butt-fingered, I shit you not.

Cersei locks up Ellaria and Tyene and basically kills Tyene the same way Myrcella was killed by kissing her with poisoned lips. Yet another example of characters somehow finding out exactly what happened offscreen because it is convenient. The scene is also an example of Lena Headey and Indira Varma blowing it out of the park despite lazy writing. These actors are too good for the material they were given to work with, and it shows. It’s hilarious how many roles D & D have “reconceived to suit their actor’s talents” that actually ended up being less dramatic and meaty than they would’ve been had they followed the source material. But it looks like we’re done with Dorne for good at least.

Next we see Cersei giving Jaime a blowjob because they are just in true love, guys. And then they end up doing the do and I believe Lena’s body double is back. I just don’t understand why D & D are trying to push the twincest on us, but god damn. How little regard they have for Jaime’s character arc is astounding.

Cersei also has a conversation with Tycho Nestoris from the Iron Bank in which she demands money because Dany will free all of the Iron Bank’s slaves....even though Braavos doesn’t permit slavery?

Just counting down the days until Confederate is cancelled, good grief.

I will say it was surprising to see a scene that was attempting to establish some sort of logistics even though it failed miserably.

Back in Winterhell, Sansa is a boss ass bitch and tells everyone what to do as if they are not experienced lords. This totally would’ve been earned if D & D had actually followed Sansa’s political plotline from the books, but I guess rape powers make you a leader. Littlefinger, who is officially the most pointless character on the show at this point, takes Sansa aside to give her a nonsensical speech thats only purpose was to fill the season 7 trailer. He is interrupted, however, by the return of Bran. But unlike the genuinely heartwarming reunion that was with Jon and Sansa, Bran is now a robot because the three-eyed raven must have no emotion for some reason. Sansa, of course, has no idea what Bran is talking about, so Bran decides the best way to demonstrate his powers is to remind Sansa of being raped and tell her how beautiful she was when it happened.

I screamed “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK” at my TV.

D & D are seriously messed up. They aren’t just incompetent, they are fucked up.

There are just so many things wrong with this. One, we did not see Bran’s transformation into this robot, so we can’t just accept this drastic change without reason. As of last season, Bran still seemed human. Of course, the deaths of Hodor and Summer were tragic, but Bran doesn’t even bring them up as a reason for his detachment. So this sudden character change just comes out of nowhere. And even so, the fact that D & D gleefully like to trigger Sansa and the audience like this by bringing up rape for no reason just shows how juvenile they are.

And Bran. Well, they’ve never been invested in his character development since Season 2, so at this point it’s easy to just call him a plot device and not try to explain anything.

Well, RIP book Bran. Book Jaime’s holding a seat for you.

Oh, and there’s also a scene showing that Jorah is OK and basically all you needed to do to cure Greyscale was peel it off, because of course it would be that easy. Jorah decides to go stalk KHALEESI, Sam experiences the very real task of being an unpaid intern who doesn’t get credit for anything, and that plotline went nowhere and served no purpose! But someone needed to get greyscale because….?

Oh, and there’s a pointless Theon scene just to show he survived.

I am literally trying to remember what else happened this episode, but it was so boring that my mind is blanking….oh yeah! There were some fights somewhere. Grey Worm and the unsullied storm Casterly Rock, and Tyrion narrates how they’ll go in through his hoe-door because he is oh-so-clever, but oops! They get bamboozled by Euron Greyjoy. It turns out most of the Lannister forces were actually marching on Highgarden and take it offscreen because gay people obviously don’t know how to fight.

I have to laugh at Benioff’s ignorant-ass comments in the “Behind the Episode” sequence. Like, bitch, do you remember who won the battle of Blackwater? So much blatant homophobia in assuming a house that has an openly gay character has a shit army when the whole point of season 2 was showing that the Lannisters needed their army? HOW did GRRM decide these guys were the best choice to adapt the show again?

Anyways, Jaime confronts a defeated Olenna. Olenna, who is just too damn good for this show, agrees to drink poison as her execution, and then reveals to Jaime she was behind Joffrey’s death. She has the same thing on her mind as the audience: Why the fuck is Jaime still with Cersei? A woman who’s committed the atrocities the Mad King threatened to do? Jaime retorts with some bullshit and leaves Olenna to die, but she’s the real winner here, escaping this shitty writing and absolute bullshit. Oh, and she calls Joffrey a cunt because swearing is cool (I know, I am guilty of being a potty mouth, but that’s not out of character for me).

Oh! And I just remembered that Varys and Melisandre have a conversation. It wasn’t a bad conversation, and it wasn’t even out of character, but I was so outraged by all of the things happened this episode that acceptable scenes fell through the cracks.

I am just stunned that even shownlies could watch this crap and think it’s anything more than shock value entertainment. The writing just keeps on getting lazier and lazier, and it didn’t even pay off with anything of real excitement or value. Even the fanservice is lackluster. I am actually dreading Season 8 at this point. It is so obvious D & D just want to be done and they don’t care about logic as long as they can get from point A to point B.

If anything, the show has made me appreciate the books more, so I guess that’s one positive that’s come from this.

#game of thrones #got #7.03 #7x03 #episode #spoilers #ASOIAF #proud book snob #review #The Queen's Justice

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