I don’t think this needs a trigger warning I didn’t draw the blood :0 anyway that’s how they appeared I guess . what… explain how? Idk ? Remnant ?
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"Stop saying Crowley won't help Aziraphale in S3 he'd go back to him in a HEARTBEAT and nothing would stop him" I get it no one likes the idea of Crowley being bitter after what happened for a long period of time but like can we at least acknowledge that he's currently going through probably the most emotional pain in his life since falling? Can we agree that he's opened his heart entirely - something you couldn't pay him to do unless the world is literally ending and he's desperate - to Aziraphale, and got shot down? Can we understand that he did it AGAIN only to lose Aziraphale again? Not that what Aziraphale did isn't without Crowley's own shortcomings (hiding the truth of Heaven's cruelty from him) but like,,,,
The appeal here isn't Scorned Crowley Doesn't Love Aziraphale Anymore, or Never Wants To Help Him Again, the appeal here is Crowley learning enough self respect to not just walk back right to Aziraphale like nothing happened after Aziraphale has had a pattern of consistently refusing him. Going years ping-ponging between "We're not friends I don't even know him" to "That's what friends are for right?" and "We're friends, why would you even say anything?" and "Friends? We're not friends. We are an angel and a demon!"
Like I get it, Crowley is a heartbreakingly forgiving person. Of course he's gonna forgive Aziraphale, I'll be surprised if he didn't forgive him by the time he walked out the bookshop door, but gdi he could at least grant himself the luxury of being at least a little irritated for longer than however long it takes to make a globe and some books float and angrily cry out to God in his flat. But due to the change of pace and dynamic that is establishing part of the conflict for Season 3, I just really like the idea of him for ONCE prioritizing himself and being like "Okay, fine. We'll get back at it when you're ready, then," instead of just taking Aziraphale back like his words and actions meant nothing to him, when clearly they have an effect on him.
What is Aziraphale going to learn if Crowley just accepts what he did so quickly, like he always has the entire time they've been friends? Idk maybe I'm just projecting too much darkness on their dynamic but I mean, if the pattern of Aziraphale pushing Crowley away/disrespecting him one day and then being fine with his friendship the next + Crowley never stopping to be like "Hey, that's not cool, at least give me a little credit" or smth was fine all along and will continue to be fine in the future, then why, after 6,000 years of being friends and loving this demon, can Aziraphale still not accept that Crowley is just fine the way he is, and instead got excited to promote him to an angel in a heartbeat once the opportunity presented itself? You can't blame all of it on Heaven when Aziraphale has demonstrated his free will/defiance to Heaven so many times. Or, I don't know, I guess maybe we can? Maybe I'm just craving too much angst to the point where I'm letting it cloud my analysis of canon. Idk.
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back on my drawing bullshit or whatecer....yeag
*haves ur lock @naffeclipse* your oc. her. eel(?) looking lady. havelocked. she is. so so cool looking
pov ur about to become fish food. sleeping with the fishies tonight. uhhh what other fish related prey jokes can i make. uuuuuummm
oh yheh drawing pile task #1 out of 23568 done yippeee!!!! now i go back into my cave for the next four years
little version without the murky lighting below readmore for funsies
ɢᴜʜ ʙᴜʜ? ᴡʜᴜʜ? ʜᴜʜ ᴡʜᴜʜ? ʏᴜʜ?
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I really love this one part in this story so much and the implication it holds within it that I always wanted to hear how other interpret it :)
for Seiji I guess almost all the people who would get closer to him and strike up a conversation would be those who wanna win the favor of the Matoba. or those who wanna crush him down, so I guess in short for someone to actually listen or care about whatever he says with no ultra motive is pretty hard for him.
Natsume was very upset and wary of him in this story, yet he was listening earnestly to him talking with no ultra motive whatsoever that Seiji without realizing found himself talking about himself naturally which's also in itself a rare case for him.
Seiji's pausing felt like " wait!! he actually cares and listen to what I'm saying even though I think he hate me so much, yet he earnestly listening to me .. and why am I talking about myself and my problems something I never did before to this kid so naturally ??"
it just for him to find someone listening to him without judging him or to actually care is something new for him, I guess.
also, this other part ...
I guess he also never had anyone worry for his wellbeing like this that he reflexively lied here as to not worry Natsume more than that.
Seiji is just bad at dealing with people who face him earnestly and actually show they care about him.
I find it amusing in a tragic kind of way.
that's why I said that Seiji developing a soft spot for Natsume little by little and that Natsume despite all his issues with Seiji that won't stop him from actually trying to seeing him past all their differences. our boy Natsume is just too kind for his own good T^T
if only that idiot learns a little from Natsume, or wait he actually learned something :)
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most irritating part of recovery so far is that i keep having existential panic attacks about death + the future every couple days. it's pretty clearly because i am not currently ready to be done here & it freaks me the Fuck Out that last year i could feel the end coming to the point of making total peace with it & i am terrified that the 50-odd years i've wrested back could be torn away from me at any moment. which is like, yeah, this is a completely reasonable post-traumatic response. could you cut it out tho.
usually telling myself "i'll be ready for this when it happens" comforts me. but occasionally i'll just lay here staring at the ceiling like. I Could Get Shot Tomorrow,
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Took all my courage to respond to the below post on Twitter (after once again deleting it in fear first lmao), but since *this* is the site I'd decided to use as my dumping ground for cringe, it's only fair to post the same here too.
First doodle is one I've posted here before, the other two have been in hiding a while.
huhuhghhhh
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