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distressed-devilsitter · 3 months

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Visiting the Human World

I can't get past NB! Lesson 33, so I wrote these short blurbs instead. Enjoy!

Warnings: Lucifer is a wine snob. Also, Sephora.

Lucifer visits an insane amount of wineries. You then discover that the avatar of pride is a certified wine snob. He questions the sommelier's pairings. He sniffs the cork (discreetly). At least he can and will drink the employees under the table.

Mammon spends a lot of time in museums. It concerns everyone. Turns out, he was planning to steal one of the most famous pieces from the local gallery and sell it for cash - go big or go home, right? He successfully pulls off the heist, but Lucifer makes him return it the next day.

Levi spends a lot of time becoming familiar with human fandoms. He loves The Hunger Games and is 100% convinced that George R.R. Martin plagiarized TTSL to write GoT. He also becomes very fond of Gamestop.

Asmo is appalled by all the 10-year-olds in Sephora. He spends a lot of time trying to teach these kids that they shouldn't be applying Drunk Elephant to their face (they don't need the chemicals!!!). He's so knowledgable about the products that the staff is convinced he works there. He trades juicy stories with them in the break room. 100% knows all the tea, despite the fact that he doesn't actually work there.

Satan leans into his domestic side. He loves grocery shopping with you and trying new recipes. He visit every new gallery in town and drags you to see the latest films. Then, he takes you out for coffee to analyze the major themes and symbolism in each movie.

Beel goes to every human world buffet in your town (which is cannon). He also spends a lot of time at the gym, trying out the most extreme excersize routines this world has to offer. This, somehow, leads to him starring on several reality TV shows (much to Lucifer's dismay.) American Ninja Warrior. Wipeout. Spartan. No matter what show he's on, he quickly becomes an audience favorite.

Belphie...spends a lot of time sleeping. He's the avatar of sloth - what else did you expect? Still, he does occasionally drag himself out of the house to accompany his twin to the buffet. If there's a meteor shower or other astrological event, he'll set up a little picnic for the both of you. (Belphie also asks if he can put his head on your lap - you happily accept.) He stays awake through the entire thing, surprisingly.

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