#am i out of my writing funk??? i don’t think so bc i kinda hate it
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henry’s dragon (jj x emily)
there’s a lot of reptile talk and i’m only slightly sorry about it
It's not that they hadn't been expecting the question; after all, a pet had been on his most recent wish-list to Santa Claus. It wasn't that they didn't think Henry was irresponsible: he got fantastic grades in school, kept up with his sports and helped out enough around the house. He was even the one that took up most of the chores when it came to Sergio (he insisted). Really, there was no doubt in their minds that their son wouldn't take responsibility in taking care of another animal.
But it was too soon, and neither Emily or JJ wanted to start a habit of buying an animal on such short notice without instilling some kind of boundaries.
First and foremost, since everyone at the house had busy schedules, the new pet couldn't be something that require attention 24/7.
No mammals or birds—nothing that would be affected by significant spending some time alone.
Since the boys time was split between two houses, the animal had to be something that either JJ or Emily could easily take care of in Henry's absence.
No spiders or bugs and it had to fit in an enclosure that they capped off at 50 gallons—hey, they had to draw the line somewhere.
After months and months of researching, Henry finally decided between either a corn snake (only if it was on frozen thawed mice), a crested gecko, or a leopard gecko. Last week for his eleventh birthday, JJ and Emily had surprised him with a twenty gallon tank that would house either animal of his choice quite comfortably for a while and several necessities like a heating pad and a basking light and bulb.
To top everything off, Spencer and Penelope had surprised the boy with tickets to a reptile show that was taking place the following weekend so he could go and pick out his new pet.
(Whatever Henry decided to get, he could also get the appropriate hides, water bowls and supplements with the money his grandparents had given him.
Emily and JJ collectively agreed to pay for the animal as an additional birthday gift.)
They had both been immediately thrown out of their element when they walked into the convention center lobby and found people crowded around the hundreds upon hundreds of tables full of different animals.
"Look, momma, a dinosaur!"
Emily peers up briefly to follow the direction Michael is pointing in with a fond grin, an amused chuckle escaping her mouth as her gaze lands on the clear acrylic tank with a colorful lizard basking under a heat lamp. The blue sharpie on the tank advertises the species in quick-scrawled handwriting: "Uromastyx". Right below the name lists the price in smaller, more legible numbers: "$225".
She hums, giving Michael's ankles a gentle squeeze as she adjusts her hold to keep him from toppling off her shoulders or over her head. The lizard's face can really only be described as dinosaur like, face round and snout short and stubby with tiny black eyes that reflect the light from the bulb above. The animal's scales are mostly bright blue and green, bright yellow and orange spots stamped down the spine, visually leading to a long tail covered in stubbed spikes.
"It does look like a dinosaur, doesn't it?" she agrees with another chuckle, turning her head and resting her hand on Henry's shoulder when he comes bounding up to join them at the table, JJ not too far behind. "What do you think, Hen? You want to adopt a dinosaur?"
Henry pushes his glasses up his nose, eyes lighting up in excitement as he catches a glimpse of the lizard. "An ornate Uromastyx, cool!" he exclaims before turning back towards his mothers. "Did you know they have basking spots of up to 135°?"
A brief pause as he thinks, head tilting up to look at the ceiling. He scrunches his nose and giggles when JJ playfully sticks her tongue out at him.
"And they're mostly herbivores!" he adds as soon as he remembers.
JJ gives his shoulder a loving squeeze before glancing over at the tank. "It is a pretty lizard," she admits.
"It's too expensive," Henry shrugs, not too affected by the fact he probably would be leaving without the Uromastyx. "And I didn't research them enough. Besides, he would out grow the tank I have at home and I don't have the right things for him," he reasons.
A young woman working the booth shoots the family a polite smile before walking over. "Hey, there! Can I help you guys with anything?"
"No, thank you," Henry declines politely. "We're just looking!"
"Interested in Uros?" the woman asks Henry in attempts at conversation.
"They're neat!" he nods enthusiastically. "But not really for beginners."
The woman smiles, looking impressed. "From what I overheard, someone did their research." She glances up at Emily and JJ, politely offering her hand. "I'm Courtney," she introduces herself.
"Jennifer," JJ replies, shaking Courtney's hand with her practiced "liaison" smile, grazing her free hand in Henry's hair as she briefly introduces him, "Henry," before resting it on Emily's side. "My wife, Emily, and Michael."
"Hi," is Michael's shy greeting, lifting his hand before resting his chin on top of Emily's head as the brunette shakes Courtney's hand.
"Pleasure meeting you. First time here?" Courtney guesses with a knowing smile.
"Uh-huh!" Henry nods.
"Neither of us never been to one of these before," JJ explains. "We're not really sure where we're going."
Courtney nods in understanding, reaching under the table and pulling out a small stack of maps with the vendors and tables located on it. "This should help you guys out!"
Emily takes one of the maps, flipping i over and scanning the schedule on the back before giving the woman a grateful smile. "Thank you!"
"Not a problem at all," Courtney assures. "These can get a bit overwhelming the first time around. What are you guys looking for?"
"Geckos!" Henry supplies. "Or corn snakes."
"You'll find plenty of those around here," Courtney smiles at him before leaning in towards the family and muttering softly, "Between you and me, don't buy from that guy." She points to a vendor on the map.
"Bad rap?" JJ assumes.
"Sells sick, over priced animals," Courtney confirms just as softly. "Best vendors for geckos usually sell here..." She points to another space on the map. "And this group right here," She uses her pointer finger to gesture to a few vendors a few tables down. "Sell snakes that only eat frozen thawed, if that's something you're looking for."
JJ lets out a small sigh of relief. "Thank you so much."
Courtney shakes her head and holds up her palms with a warm smile. "Hey, not a problem at all. Just wanted to give you guys a heads up." She hands Henry one of the business cards and a sticker from the table. "You get some more experience with reptiles and ever want to get a Uromastyx, you know where to find us."
"Thank you!"
"You folks enjoy the show!" Courtney waves them away, giving them all warm smiles before heading off down the table to greet another person at the table.
"This place is awesome!" Henry exclaims, spreading out his arms to gesture around the room, eyes shining with glee.
JJ tears her gaze away from a massive Burmese python spotted like a cow, smiling down at the child and nodding in agreement. "It's something else."
"I'll say," Emily murmurs, turning the map in her hands with a small frown, bringing it closer to her face to make sure she's reading correctly. "Hey, Hen, what are "hots"?" She peers down at him, stopping briefly when they come across a table covered in plastic containers sealed shut with red electrical tape. One look at a container holding a white diamond back rattlesnake and she lets out a silent "oh" in realization. "These must be hots."
"Whoa!" Henry gasps in wonder, but stays back where he is. "Cool!"
JJ rests a hand on his shoulder, peering over him at the hundreds of venomous reptiles displayed on the table. A part of her is honestly surprised with how easily someone could come here and purchase some of the deadliest animals on earth. She personally doesn't see the appeal, but hey, to each their own.
"Am I crazy..." Emily leans in towards JJ's face and murmurs. "Or are some of these things kind of adorable?" she continues, discreetly pointing to a container labeled "gaboon viber".
The snake itself is gorgeous, short, stocky body curled over in a "C" shape. Bright orange, yellow and brown diamonds line down the serpent's back. The eyes are positioned almost directly on top of its head, one looking towards the right and the other facing the complete opposite direction. The goofy eyes, along with the chubby cheeks (most likely swollen with the venom glands) and a small horn at the tip of its nose make the snake look like a funny cartoon character.
"No, they're definitely cute," JJ easily agrees, finding another snake in a clear container with black electrical tape. The lid labels the snake inside as a "plains hognose". This snake has the same chubby cheeks as the viper and a little upturned snout, with eyes JJ can really only describe as "puppy like". "In a weird way."
"Moms, can I get a cobra?"
Glaring playfully at Henry, who points to a white monocled cobra with a shit eating grin on his face, JJ smirks, "You most certainly can not get a cobra!"
Emily reaches over and ruffles Henry's hair when he pouts in exaggeration. "Sorry, babe, your mom's the boss." She drops her voice a few octaves, smile light and teasing as she faux whispers, "Between me and you boys, I would have totally been okay with a cobra as long as you cleaned up after it."
JJ gently whacks Emily's side with the back of her hand, grinning when the brunette grabs her hand and links their fingers together. "Don't conspire with the kids to get venomous reptiles behind my back," she chides playfully.
"Busted, boys. No cobras," Emily sighs dramatically, her own smile wide when Michael giggles from above at her. "What a shame, too. I was going to name him Mr Sparkles."
"Mr Sparkles?!" Michael repeats incredulously between giggles.
"Yep, Mr Sparkles," Emily confirms firmly, grinning as they walk down the table and inspect more of the animals. "I was going to buy him a little leather jacket studded in rhinestones and everything."
"You're so weird!" Henry laughs, shaking his head before leaning into Emily, resting against her arm as they move.
"Proudly!" She grins, heart feeling so incredibly full with Henry leaning on her, Michael above on her shoulder and with JJ at her side. It felt right, so simple and so domestic to be like this. It's as if this was where she was meant to be all along. She feels even more content when JJ leans up and presses a soft kiss to her cheek as if to silently confess her own happiness.
It's perfect.
The family steadily makes their way down the rows and row of vendors, stopping every so often when specific animals catch their eye. There's a small vendor selling small exotic mammals that they spend a while at because the woman running the booth has a sugar glider on her shoulder. Michael and JJ are completely transfixed on the small animal, even more so when it decides to hop on top of JJ's head. She squeaks in surprise, while Emily and the boys laugh, the brunette quickly whipping out her phone to record a video to send to the team group chat later.
They stop at another vendor selling sulcata tortoises a few minutes later, the vendors allowing the boys to feed the giants a few leaves of romaine lettuce (another video recorded, but this time for Penelope because Emily and JJ know she would want to see as much of this as possible next girl's night).
It's nice to see how interactive some of the vendors are with the boys. Some allow them to pet certain display animals and talk to them about each one. Michael yelps in surprise when he pets a large tegu because the lizard flicks its tongue out lazily at the boy. Henry is a bit wary of a scaleless bearded dragon and corn snake, wrinkling his nose when he tentatively touches the animal with the vendor's approval.
("It looks like a ball sack," Emily whispers to JJ, eyeing the animal with as much distain as Henry. "It probably feels like one, too." Her own nose wrinkles at the thought, but a smile forms on her face when her wife laughs at her. "What? It's true! Probably!"
“Touch it and find out,” JJ challenges, laughing again when Emily shudders at the thought.
“Yeah, no thanks. I’ll pass.”)
They take plenty of pictures and videos of the boys, mostly standing back and letting the boys enjoy themselves. Though, the boys do convince their moms to participate in petting or holding certain animals. It doesn't take JJ much convincing to hold a tiny banana ball python (she thinks it's really pretty) and a pied ball python whose body consists of huge white spots (she refuses to believe it's real because what?!?) that just fit in her palm. Emily gets suckered into holding a massive carpet python with Henry, tensing only slightly when the snake flicks its tongue in her face.
Henry keeps an eye out for his perfect pet, regarding some of the corn snakes and crested geckos at some vendors with some interest, but moves on otherwise. It's not until they get to a table with a vendor selling leopard geckos that he really pays attention.
Henry looks at the animals in the tupperware containers, each shallow cylindrical container slotted perfectly in a custom black foam board. It made a lot of the animals' colors pop, especially the bright yellow, orange and white geckos in the middle of the board. The women note how Henry's gaze keeps going back to the row with several of these white and yellow geckos, obviously having peeked his interest the most. The last gecko in the row is a stunning bright orange, the tail thick and animal alert. The green marker on top of the lid lists the gecko as a "sub-adult tangerine 25% het temper $75" with the symbol off to the side listing it as a male.
Emily kneels down beside him, peeking between Henry and the gecko. “What are you thinking?”
“He’s pretty,” Henry says in awe. “His tail is thick and he looks really healthy.”
“You guys need any help?” the young man running the booth asks, coming up towards them from behind the table.
“Can I ask a few things about him?” Henry asks, carefully pointing out the orange gecko.
The young man replies with a warm smile, nodding. “Sure, go ahead.”
Emily holds her palms up in a peaceful gesture, letting Henry take the reigns. She stands up behind him, reaching out and grasping JJ’s hand when she comes up to her side with Michael on her opposite hip. “What’s happening? Did he find one?”
Emily smiles fondly at Henry, who’s asking simple, yet crucial, questions about the gecko with the vendor. “Yeah, I think so,” she replies quietly to her wife. “He really likes the orange one.”
The conversation seems to flow naturally between Henry and the vendor, the man periodically peering up at the women to engage them in the conversation about the animal, too. He asks Henry a few questions, nodding in approval when he replies with the information he learned while researching leopard geckos. “That guy right there is one of the friendliest geckos we’ve produced,” the guy adds, nodding to the orange gecko. “Really handleable and calm.”
With that confirmation, Henry turns his hopeful gaze up to his moms, silent question in his eyes.
“You guys can buy him and we’ll hold him back here if you need to pick up some more things or want to look around more so you’re not carrying him around all day,” the vendor assures.
JJ rests her hand on Henry’s shoulder. “This guy, huh?” she asks softly to confirm his choice, small smile on her face.
“I really like him,” Henry confirms with a nod.
“That settles it then,” Emily grins, slipping her wallet from her back pocket and handing over the cash for the animal, sealing the deal.
Henry beams as the man takes the cash, carefully sliding the gecko from the foam board and setting the container behind the table. Henry throws his arms excitedly around both women. “Thanks, moms! You guys are the best!”
Emily smooths her hand through his hair lovingly, smiling warmly as JJ bends and plants a kiss on his forehead.
“You guys can come back here and get him when you’re ready,” the vendor confirms for them, picking up a business card and handing it off to Henry. “If you guys have any more questions or if anything pops up, give us a call and we’ll help out, okay?”
“Thank you!” Henry says genuinely, clutching the card tightly with a grin before turning and tugging on his moms towards the back of the hall.
“Thank you so much,” JJ repeats towards the vendor, smiling warmly at him before allowing Henry to tug her towards the vendors selling supplies.
“See you soon!” the man calls out, waving to them before tending to another customer.
They look around at some more vendors, Henry stopping at a few to buy what he still needs for his new gecko along the way. Michael’s back down on the ground, following his older brother with the same enthusiasm. The two chatter amongst themselves excitedly. JJ and Emily fall in step behind them, watching on with fond smiles that never seem to leave their face even as they leave the convention hall with a new addition to the family in tow.
Emily looks back in the rear view mirror at the boys, smiling to herself as they lean their heads together to look at the gecko in the container secured on Henry’s lap. She turns when JJ leans over and presses a kiss to her shoulder, linking their free hands together in the space between the front seats, a comfortable silence falling between them. The drive home is filled with the excited chatter of their boys from the backseat, the distinct scent of the fast food they had quickly picked up for an easy dinner swarming the car.
It’s oddly comfortable in a way, Emily thinks to herself as the sun starts to set over the horizon. She’s never felt more at peace than she is right now, listening to the boys chatter in the background and feeling the warmth her wife provides as she leans her head on her shoulder.
It’s dark out by the time they get home, just ten minutes until the boys’ bedtime.
Henry and Michael immediately bound up to Henry’s room, the older boy setting the container down gently. He puts the small coleny of dubia roaches into a critter keeper with the food and gel water cubes before setting them off the side. Then, he begins to put the finishing touches to the tank, adding the hides and a small, shallow dish that he fills with calcium powder. Emily trails behind, helping out any way she could and taking the bottle of water JJ hands off to her from behind to cap off the water bowl.
The two women take a seat on Henry’s bed, watching the boys as Henry carefully lifts the container and sets it in the tank. He opens the lid and removes it from the tank, snapping the lid back in place. “We gotta let him come out on his own and get used to it before we pick him up,” he softly tells his younger brother, taking a step back from the tank and joining his moms on the bed. He climbs up between them, smushing himself at their sides and leaning against them. Emily hoists Michael up on her lap, planting a kiss on his head as they all watch the gecko slowly climb out of the container and begin to explore his new environment.
JJ plants a kiss on Henry’s head, reaching over and laying a hand comfortingly on Michael’s back as he leans tiredly against Emily. “What do you think?”
“I love him already,” Henry admits quietly, eyes following his new pet as he explores his tank.
“What are you gonna name him?” Emily wonders, rubbing Michael’s back soothingly to convince him to go to sleep.
“Mr Sparkles,” the toddler tiredly mumbles, cracking a smile at his own joke.
Henry giggles, sounding just as tired as his brother. He lets out a yawn, letting his head lean against JJ’s side. He brings up his hand, moving his glasses out of the way to rub his eye with the back of his hand. “Smaug,” he decides sleepily. “His name is Smaug.”
JJ reaches down, carefully removing his glasses and setting them on his desk before running her fingers soothingly through his hair. “I think that’s a perfect name,” she murmurs.
Her eyes flicker back to the tank, watching the gecko until she feels Henry’s full weight leaning into her. She turns to Emily, who silently confirms with a nod that both boys are asleep. She shifts Michael in her arms, pressing a kiss to his cheek and cradling the bak of his head as she stands. JJ slowly moves herself from the bed, managing to grab Henry in her arms to move him up towards his pillows. She flicks off his bedside lamp, blinking in surprise when the basking light to the gecko’s tank also goes dark before remembering that it’s on a timer. She leans down, pressing a soft kiss to Henry’s forehead and murmuring an “I love you” on his skin before moving for Emily to do the same.
They shuffle out to Michael’s room, JJ carefully and quietly shutting Henry’s door behind her. The routine is the same with Michael, laying him down in his bed, giving him a kiss goodnight and murmuring quiet “I love you”s on his skin before sneaking out and closing the door behind them.
JJ leans up, pressing a tired, soft kiss on Emily’s lips in the middle of the hallway, hoping to convey even the smallest amount of affection she holds for her wife with the simple gesture. Emily gently cups her face between her palms, melting into the gesture as she always does. “I love you,” she hums quietly on the blonde’s lips, smiling wide when she feels JJ smile against her.
“I love you. So much.”
#criminals minds#emily prentiss#jennifer jareau#jemily#jj x emily#emily x jj#momily!!!!!#jemily fluff 🥺#jemily family fluff#i nerded out about reptiles and i’m only slightly sorry about it#i actually don’t care for Uromastyx oops#i only know how to take care of maybe 5 reptiles tops#leopard geckos are one of those reptiles#ngl i miss having one#anyway i can’t write endings#enjoy x#am i out of my writing funk??? i don’t think so bc i kinda hate it#lol#enjoy it anyway
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Hi there! Super duper quick, but I’m going to go on a break / hiatus for the next week or so!
I’m sorry its kind of sudden (or maybe not idk) but yeahhhh–– there are a few reasons! I won’t go into too much depth, but I don’t want to just dip out for a bit without proper explanation (unlike the other times i’ve gone on hiatus)
But that’s utc tho bc even if i say i won’t go into too much detail i am still, at my heart, a chatterbox lmao
Original Navigation Post !!
For one, i think I’ve started to look for validation in tumblr too much? Like,,,, I’ve never been one to need validation before. But recently I feel like I’ve been seeking that out in tumblr which, when I look back on it, feels kind of funky to me? And obviously it’s not wrong to look for validation on here, that’s not what I’m saying. But just for me personally, it feels strange and debilitating to rely as heavily heavily as I do on things in this way, so i kind of need to distance myself for a bit.
This next one isn’t really much of a surprise at this point, but it’s kinda obvi that I’ve been lacking motivation and inspiration to write. I’ve probably written less than 10 things in the last two, maybe even three months. I just I don’t like the things I try to write, and I like them even less when i try to force myself, which sucks so much because I receive so many good, breathtaking prompts in my inbox, but i feel like I can never do them justice, but at the same time i don’t want to post the prompts with me just, like, screaming and keysmashing yk? Bc i feel like that can’t properly encapsulate just how much i love the things I’m sent. So yeah I really do miss being able to look back on the stuff I write n go ‘holy shit I actually made that? Whoa’ and I kind of need to get myself out of this funk for a bit bc I hate it.
Lastly, as I’m sure some of you know, finals have been whole rough recently. I only got out of its chokehold, like, a few days ago, and I’m jumping right back into the fray on January 3. Safe to say I’m still tired from the whole thing that was hell week, and I just need time to sorta, like, exist in my own space for a bit.
After I post this, I won’t be answering any asks until I get back, and I’ll be deleting the tumblr app from my phone to distance myself from the site for now. Though I might come on eventually to catch up and read some fics, because I’ve barely been reading or supporting any kind of fics recently, which i feel super guilty for. So if you see me rb fics, they’re all queued up!
I’m super sorry I won’t be around for the holidays or for New Year’s, but I hope everyone enjoys :DD I’m sorry that i won’t be able to actively provide a safe space for you guys who view the blog as such, or that I can’t be a listening ear or someone to talk to in the coming days. But still, feel free to send me things in my inbox while I’m away. Brain rots, thoughts, life updates, whatever you’d like! I might not be able to respond to each ask individually, but hopefully being able to type something out and sending it my way will be able to bring you comfort of some sort <3
Anywayyyy so, like, yeah :D I’ll get going for now. Thanks for 4.8k followers so far, even though I’ve been really lacking on content these past two months–– I’ll try to write at my own pace while I’m gone, maybe finally do those event prompts and answer some really old asks. Hope everyone has lovely holidays and a lovely new year, also! Much love n much smooches babes <33
#important !! 🐈⬛#If there’s anything i need to know asap send an ask and I’ll eventually see it#or if you have my genshin uid (moots send an ask/message if you’re on asia server n u wanna play <3) feel free to hmu there!#Also I want to clarify that no one is at fault for my burnout; @ the people in my inbox always feeding me well:#u guys are amazing n please feel free to keep sending me stuff both while I'm on hiatus n when I come back <3
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i don’t have a fancy name for it or anything but this is my kirishima playlist
I posted about my krbk playlist a little while ago but since it’s Boy Day I wanted to finally post about my solo Kirishima playlist too!! The only other thing I have to say is that I Love The Boy and that’s what this playlist is for :)
Spotify Link
song descriptions under the cut!
(bc of how i want to format the explanations, this list will be out of order with the actual playlist but that doesn’t actually matter that much!)
i. Teenage Icon - The Vaccines
“Oh look at me, so ordinary
No mystery with no great capabilities”
-I guess it’s pretty fitting to start the list off with a very Middle School Kirishima kinda song! Something I really love about this one is that it’s very steeped in this idea that “oh I’m not great, I’ve been blown up my whole life but I’m really nothing special, I should just stop pretending to be” but then the choruses and the bridge are so upbeat that it feels like it’s made peace with it! Maybe even like it’s celebrating it? Like, this isn’t wallowing in self hatred, it’s an anthem and I feel like it’s the kind of thing Kirishima would listen to in middle school and think “yeah, I’m not special, so what, who cares”
ii. Whatta Man - I.O.I
the one w the classic “whatta man whatta man whatta man” hook but a kpop song
-as kirishima is the only boy alive, this song talking about a very good man must be dedicated to him
-put in the ioi ver instead of the classic one bc i love girls
iii. Embers - Owl City
“And we'll watch the sky as it fills with light
And though the embers are new, whatever you do just don't let the fire die”
-Something you are gonna learn very quickly about me is that I Love Owl City
-A lot of Owl City songs are about overcoming hard times and facing forward and this one hits me more than a lot of other generic Encouraging Songs because “don’t let the fire die” feels like such a genuine sentiment, like more than “you’re a firework” or whatever because it encapsulates the idea of “this is your decision to make and something you’re gonna have to put in the effort but you can turn your life around, you don’t have to hate yourself, you can make the decision not to” which I feel is a very Kirishima sentiment
iv. I’m Gay - Bowling For Soup
“It sells records when you're sad these days, it's super cool to be mad these days -
I think rock and roll is really funny when it's serious”
-now. there is the very obvious meaning here
-But mostly this feels like a very Kirishima-ish song to me since it’s all about getting out of the “everything sucks and talking about that all the time makes you cool” mentality and not taking things so seriously, focusing on the positives and trying to make other people happy too!
v. I’ll Make a Man Out of You - Mulan
(picking a lyric to express kirishima in this one feels dumb when all you need to see this as a Him song is to imagine him belting it out)
-the 12 year old that still lives somewhere inside of me and spent hours watching videos w titles like Total Drama Character Theme Songs on youtube is Extremely proud of herself for this one
vi. The Squip Song - BMC
“Freshman year, I didn't have a girlfriend or a clue
I was a loser, just like you”
-Look the fact of it is this song has extreme Kirishima Energy and to convince you of that I could write a lot of stuff or I could just link you the animatic I made please watch it I worked very hard
-Lyrical content aside I think the funky guitar and the horns and the amount of screaming in this song are Very kirishima
vii. Fiji Water - Owl City
“If I only knew then what I know now, I’d stand like a one man band, and I’d say
‘All this is new to me, but here’s how it’s gonna be - there is more to me than meets the eye”
-owl city part 2! It’s about him seeing himself as a regular kid but getting called by a record label and flown out to talk about a record deal, and it’s cast in this light of “I didn’t see myself as much then and I was surprised it could all happen to me” but trying to make the most of it anyway, which reminds me a lot of Kirishima still doubting himself but getting to UA anyway
-The last line “I laughed when I got back home and I thought, ‘there’s no such thing as luck’” is my absolute favorite part of the song and when I imagine that as kirishima getting home after crushing the entrance exam and falling face-first onto his bed laughing...well! a bitch is soft!
viii. I Wanna Meet Richard Dreyfuss - Gabriel Gundacker (the guy who made the “you are my dad” vine)
“Hello, don’t mean to interrupt your flow
But I’ve got something you need to know, and it’s very specific, so here we go:
I wanna meet Richard Dreyfuss”
-This song is from an album dedicated to a fan’s process of wanting to meet, NEEDING to meet, giving up on, trying to forget about, (brief intermission about saddles as he forgets about), apologizing to, finally meeting, and saying a satisfied goodbye to Richard Dreyfuss and it’s one of my favorite albums of all time
-At first I just thought the song sounded pretty Kirishima in terms of earnest effort and slightly-soulful high notes but then someone sent me an ask like “WHY IS THE RICHARD DREYFUSS SONG ON YOUR KIRISHIMA PLAYLIST” and I realized it would totally make sense for Kirishima to write an entire album about wanting to meet Crimson Riot, so, checkmate
ix. Angel, Please - Ra Ra Riot
“Long as I feel I can tell the danger did it - oh, you guard yourself, you do
I wasn't hurt but I know you're the curse, I know you were”
-i am not gonna lie the first time i heard this song I just wanted so so badly to make it abt kirishima bc 1) album cover is red 2) band name has riot in it
-Anyway so after a month of listening to it w that mindset I can say pretty confidently that this song makes me think of Kirishima’s big fat crush on bkg so really it should be in the krbk playlist instead of this one but I do what I want
x. Beautiful Times - Owl City
“My heart's burning bad and it's turning black but I'm learning how to be stronger”
-Owl City part 3 :)
-This one is the most focused on the dark side of things and the “struggling through the depression” angle but I really do think the ending is a beautiful sentiment and that line up there reminds me of him
-I feel like...things never get easy right away and there’s always gonna be some doubt there no matter how good you feel, and the only thing we can do about that is to keep trying to make things better
Songs that are also in my krbk playlist which I wrote about here that I won’t describe at length again but that I mostly associate with Kirishima:
xi. Hooked on a Feeling - Blue Swede
xii. Kimi Janakya Dame Mitai - Masayoshi Oishi
xiii. Knock Three Times - Tony Orlando & Dawn
xiv. If You Wanna - The Vaccines
xv. Slayers - Matt Fishel (I do want to say that this one is a big one bc it literally feels like what Kirishima would come up with if he tried to write bkg a song)
xvi. I’m Totally Obsessed With Him - Matt Fishel
xvii. Television/So Far So Good - Rex Orange County
xviii. Mamma Mia - ABBA
Aaaand, songs that all remind me of Kirishima just because they’re bops filled with loud, boisterous, cheerful, and at times comedic Kirishima Energy:
xix. Young Volcanoes - Fall Out Boy
xx. Flyers - Bradio
xxi. Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen
xxii. Mr. Brightside - The Killers
xxiii. Sincerely Me - Dear Evan Hansen
xxiv. Uptown Funk - Bruno Mars
#hello......im love him and that's all i have to say#i've been adding things to this playlist for the past few months and i've wanted to talk about it for a while so ! here it is#i've definitely linked it before and there's not as much to talk abt as on the krbk list but! it's made w love#thoughts#e2019#playlists
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Pt 1 I'm the 4 pt anon. I'm glad there are others that agree this is not right. I don't think it's an overreaction and I really have no hate for Bruna. I just want only good, happy things for Neymar because I love him as a fan. You can have him tho ;) thanks for the 'my body is ready' clarification! I have a bf whom I love (and who even occasionally agrees upon request to strip to his undies so I can enjoy the view lol) and he loves me so he wouldn't be very trilled if I offered :D
Anonymous said:Pt 2 Here comes another multipart :) Since writing that the other day, I’ve been thinking: why didn’t Bruna stay for the game? What could be a ‘good’ reason (although to me the only reason good enough to miss such a game would have been an emergency of some sort) to not take a later flight or if there is no such then take his plane, I’m sure he wouldn’t have objected? I will assume that she made a choice not to stay as there were options to leave after.
Anonymous said:Pt 3 So. Why not stay? Why isn’t she there for him publicly? Why would you shy away from supporting your loved one? I’m not saying she doesn’t love him, I simply don’t know. In snaps etc she looks very affectionate. In actions like this she is giving me doubts. She has been long exposed to media and public opinion to be ignorant of how her actions appear. It almost looks like she wants to distance herself from his professional life.
Anonymous said:Pt 4 But why? It’s such a huge part of him that it defines him. If she thinks to marry him, how could she possibly be do so without being part of his footballing life? Or is her priority always herself first, one and only, and she will never compromise in the least to be there for him if it inconveniences her plans. Or is she embarrassed to show support because he’s a 'favela boy’ and what got him out of it is football so she’ll pretend it is not a big enough deal for her to be there?
Anonymous said:Pt 5 (last) Or is she just a typical leo and wants to be the 'queen of all she surveys’ and always be the center of attention so avoids situations where the spotlight is sure to be on him? This is just some of my speculations here, as I am still saddened that she wasn’t there for him so just looking for likely explanations. No, I don’t expect to find out exactly or you to know. Just wondering what are your thoughts, or other anons. Why is she is doing things like that?
The favela boy part kinda irks me. I know you dont mean it in a mean way and just try to make a point of her being ashamed of him maybe, but it’s just something that rubbed me the wrong way. Again I know you dont mean harm with it and only try to make a point but yeah… I also dont think hat has anything to do with it if im honest. At least it better not be xD Also nothing wrong with being from the favela (a large population of Brazil is sadly), but I know people call Ney that sometimes meaning it in a degrading way. Like at his birthday, bc he likes listening to the favela/Baile funk music. (This bit is more in general before people will come at me)I have no idea why she didnt stayed to support him. It’s not like she had much to do in Brasil, because she only went back for that Glamour award show and then she flew back… I would say fuck a fashion award, but thats just me 😂😂 Maybe it’s a celebrity thing indeed that she is getting used to not being interesting when she is outside of Brazil and all the attention is on Neymar?? I have no idea tbh.
BTW: Are you also that anon with the bf who has to show off his thighs 😜
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Ep. 9 - “im running on borrowed time”- Franco
Michele
I would love to see a full list of who everyone voted for. Its VERY fishy and a complete blindside. Makes me feel worse about disadvantage next round
lenny
Right when cranjes becomes my ally, they get kicked off. lol. what is happening in this tribe rn? I want to get to the bottom of it.
michele
ive never felt more alone in this game. people clearly lied to me.
lenny
according to dusty, Franco and Eliza flipped for the split vote. yuck! what to do now? I don't know. I think if I have any chance of getting Eliza or Michele out, I have to make a new alliance.
lenny
Dusty just said that her franco rain and worm were the ones to flip and that makes me very anxious and I don't know if I can trust rain fully :/ that makes me sad. I really hope I can.
lenny
so michele and I are talking which is v heartwarming. I apologized for being cold towards her. I hope we can work together.
Dusty
Well that was messed up LMAO That’s the second time Eliza has flipped on me and taken out my closest ally...anyway I will not be working with her anymore. But I’m gonna make her believe it. And thank you to my amazing acting skills she gave me her half of the super idol..........ma’am. I’m so sorry. She expects me to give it back to her after this round but Idk if I can do that if she isn’t in the game anymore! She also told me that it was her and Franco that flipped with rain and worm. So now I’m trying to work with Lenny and Michele who seem to be on board, and it seems like I’ll also have to working with frank and Sasha. And with this blind round there’s a fear of voting for someone that won immunity buuut at least I have a 10% advantage to help me out :) Wish me luck!
michele
kinda blew up a little so gonna lay low for strategy. i also sometimes take things too personally which is why i only do like 1 org a year so that last tribal got to me a lot. franco messaged me saying he doesnt trust me and even tho his instincts are completely correct idk it just feels weird. i think i just hate general confrontation
Frank
So I’m shocked Cranjes left but I’m quite happy about it. He was leading a lot of things so to have him go is wonderful. After tribal, Michele approached me about getting out Eliza or Franco, so we stan that. Once one of them is gone though the other needs to be taken out as well since they’re both strong and we don’t need one of the having a story of, oh my partner got out but I still made it through so much. After that get rid of Dusty and then Lenny at some point bc who. I’m fairly quiet but Lenny is practically a ghost. Right now the only person I actually trust though is Sasha, which is not something I thought I would say but here we are.
Franco
Blind rounds are so SCARY. Mainly the part about no one knowing who wins immunity. Like, we got out 2 idols last round by blindsiding Cranjes and flushing Frank's, but theres still more out there. And no one is going to know how tribal is going to play out
Michele was kinda pissed at us for leaving her out of the vote. But? Sis left us out of her alliance with og Plati, and didnt give us ANY information last round despite knowing I was a target.
Eliza is also.... Kinda not smart. She gave her half of the idol to Dusty because she wanted to reconcile. Which is nice and all! But thats a direct chance for him to get back at us and take a shot at us. Keeping the idol separate was best for everyone. So I just gotta pray Eliza knows Dusty as well as she says she does!!
I dont expect to win this challenge. Im gonna chat around, but I think Im going to have to play my idol this round to save my skin. My name has been thrown around 2 rounds in a row, im running on borrowed time. We'll see how today goes!
Frank
So Franco messaged me about if I’m gonna vote him this round and that he doesn’t understand why I’m going after him. So I did the kind thing and explained it and said that I don’t want to work with him because he’s working with everyone and that I don’t see that as being beneficial to my game. So Franco is my target again and michele messaged me last night to get rid of him so we stan. I’m probably gonna get votes but who could be shocked by that.
Franco
surprise!! my name is going around AGAIN!!
i'm so. not shocked. Frank has it out for my for some reason?? I confronted him this morning, let him know his """allies""" are throwing him under the bus and offered to exchange information or work together in some capacity but he literally turned it down. first rule of survivor is never shut down lines of communication like that!! he is denying any chance of game relationship we could have and thats such bad gameplay.
I bombed the challenge because I'm dumb. And now that I know my name is circulating I'm going to have to play my idol. I just have to hope that whatever happens is good for my game. It's so hard to orchestrate votes during an invisible round, everyone is playing strictly for themselves because there's no reason not to. I really really finally want Frank gone.
This is the THIRD ROUND in a row I've said that. but seriously I'm over him. he's gotta GO.
Eliza
Dear diary...
Literally can’t believe we pulled that blindside off! I had to do some damage control with dusty and because I know what kind of player he is I gave him my half of the super idol. I told him I’d give it to him for this round to prove that the cranjes vote had nothing to do with him and that he is still someone I want to work with. He seemed shocked but obviously took the security and I think I have at least some of his trust back, I mean this IS the second time I blindsided him and voted out his closest ally. Now I know you’re probably thinking, ellie you’re a dumbass, and that I am but I know how dusty works at this point in the game and it’s gonna take a bold move like that one to get ANY of his trust back. Franco didn’t think it was the best move but I can’t just play according to Franco’s standards. The invisible round is absolutely terrifying, everyone agrees that it’s frank but we all know that he could 100% win this challenge. Obviously everyone with a brain wants to split but some of these people won’t wanna split again after they got out smarted, Franco might be playing his idol because we all know frank wants him out but frank has also said I need to go and I have absolutely no security rn so yeah, I’m fucking scared. Let’s see what happens!
Rain
So... I haven’t been around much today. I abstained from immunity.
My depression is kicking in and even tho I’m doing well in the game, I can’t be bothered to get into it, as much as I want to.
So I’ll ride Franco and Eliza’s coattails until either I pull out of this funk or I get voted out.
The move tonight is to try to get frank. Except he’s kinda good at challenges (although, tbh, hasn’t been that great since returning - maybe the idol was holding him back?) so we think he may get immunity.
I think voting Sasha would be better - like come on, I don’t even think he’s trying (is that hypocritical to say?) and he only talks to his allies.
The other side (oh is it just dusty, Sasha, and frank now? Fuckin sweet) doesn’t even attempt to socialize with me. Dusty to some extent, but talking to Sasha and frank is like talking to a fucking wall. I’ll be happy if either of them go.
But tbh at this point I’m ready to join the jury. I’m going to keep playing and keep trying because that’s what jay and the people I’ve voted out deserve to see, but whenever I go home, I know I played a good game for my first game in over a year.
lenny
not feeling confident about this challenge or good in general. Rain is most likely working with franco and eliza. I hope I can trust dusty. oof
Worm
So last round seemed to have back fired. I think I have alienated myself even more but I'm not sure if saying people not talking to me is showing that. They weren't talking to me before anyway so I guess nothing really changed then lol They goal this round is to target Frank which is okay with me cause I think people will start going after bigger targets next round like Eliza and Franco. Michele seems really mad at me which i can't fault her for so my goal if I survive this round is to talk to her and get her back on my side. Maybe reuniting the alliance of dusty, her, and I could make a huge impact. This challenge is really difficult so I don't think I had any chance of winning. I kinda hope I do for just in case reasons. If I being told the truth and everyone is targeting Frank then it should happen pretty easily. His idol got flushed last round so it should be simple to get rid of him. But until those votes are read I do believe that I will be the one going home.
Frank
Watch Franco have an idol and I go home. That would be funny, tbh I guess it just would be. But oh boy I am gonna get myself a nice snack if Franco goes...although let's be real I'm gonna have a nice snack no matter what. But I just want to stay and have Franco or Eliza leave since that would benefit my game to an extreme since they KEEP TRYING TO VOTE ME OUT. Or at least saying my name which is enough for me. Like if you say my name, get out!
rain
Tribal is in a few minutes, and I’ve just had an emotional chat with Franco
He is truly an incredible ally and I really look forward to being in the reunion w him and finding out who he is irl (although I have a guess)
Anyway, I just wanted to give him some positive edit, because I’m sure he’s very N as the villain of the game :P
Dusty
This is crazy idek if I won immunity or what’s happening I changed my vote like 3 times LMAO i voted for Eliza I don’t know what’s happening i think I’m freaking out for no reason. My only fear is michele being very quiet.
michele
being quiet worked i guess. wasnt really a game move but i didnt get voted out so yay
Sasha
I really just gave up on trying to have my own strategy/game and just voted how people told me to huh
Eliza
Dear diary...
It was a tie between me and frank, this might be the last time I write in confessions but hopefully I was able to make some sort of impact in the game. Wow this sucks
Dusty
jflkdsaiof okay a tie well michele being quiet all day meant that she didnt get the chance to know the vote was for eliza... which just made me think someone decided to not flip against eliza/franco so in the revote i reached out to worm and rain to try and get them to flip which they both denied. ugh im so stupid, they would know regardless that i flipped, but now it seems like i was soooo adamant about her going... oh well. Franco is going to be pissed anyway
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a giant update!
posted first here bc yolo
roadmap-
the stuff i bought from forever 21 today c:
other stuff i did today!
closing the chapter to january (the worst month i’ve had to deal with for awhile?)
things i look forward to in the future: march, april, may, summer.
oh my god i got really cute things from forever 21!! finally ordered a white/light grey windbreaker with swordfish pattern all over it for $20. also got white dolphin shorts (like dolphin style, not literal dolphins) with rainbow stripes on the side. and a dark-ish pink/blush off the shoulder dress with ties on the arm.. it’s kind of weird but was on sale for valentines day & idk how off the shoulder styles look on me... we’ll see ig! it’s really cute and flowy. and another dress, but maroon and long sleeve and floral, kind of in a baby doll fit. it’s lowkey mockneck so the reviews are like help i can’t fit my head through but .. hopefully it fits! there’s some really small lace parts on the sleeve :). and a white flowy vneck top with a bunch of pink flowers on it and a tie in the front. bell-ish sleeves with lace on the upper shoulders and parts of the back! oo and a light weight grey hoodie with kinda cheesy but still cool cool-toned floral embroidery on the hood. it’s p unique but the quality probably sucks and isn’t soft. lastly a peach mid-maxi skirt that has some sheer parts for the bottom half!! it’s like those ballet rehearsal skirts style.
okay clearly i really like dresses and i think i’m going to start wearing more pink/color because i’m totally over winter in general and how drab that season is. honestly just light warm colors that kind of are reminiscent of furniture fabric/granny aesthetic is totally my vibe. like i want to look like i don’t give a fuck, but not in an emo way but more in a.... idk. i actually don’t know how to explicate my vibe but its like laid back and californian and whatever. hypebeast/grandma/passionate napper/hiker/couch appearance :) also i’m really happy to just sorta word dump and get my thoughts out again because they’re finally good vibes and i feel super excited to share it with my ... laptop screen & whoever’s reading! like getting outta funks is so nice and lowkey reminiscent of a few months ago when i finally got over this stupid boy
anyway okay. today i woke up at 9-10ish because i slept at 3am yesterday :( i felt really weird (ig you can describe as anxious) because of something i did, and i tried to do that thing where i imagined trump spouting all the self hate/angsty vibes i was telling myself, but i didn’t really purge the angst all that much. also i had taken a nap after school + drank boba the day before... (and 2 days before then i slept at 2 bc i had half a cup of green tea in the evening...) also i got angry at myself that i couldn’t sleep because it’s just annoying. it’s 12 am right now and i didn’t take any naps today but i’ll definitely be content & ready to sleep after i right this. so after i woke up, i spent like a few hours cleaning out my room-- i fixed the organization of my desk drawers so it could be more efficient and less cluttered. also the night before when i couldn’t sleep, i hung up all my clothes so that was nice. then in the early afternoon, i finished math hw (literally had 2 problems left, one of which i didn’t know how to do....) and did some japan bowl studying! i also started chatting hella people to ask for interest regarding a possible speaker event that intersections (my social justice club) is hosting... it’s about asian american health disparities, so i got 9 total clubs interested??? now i gotta email the presenter to update them but i’ll do that tomorrow. then from 3-5pm i had a really fun japan bowl meeting that was super untoxic and just productive. this year we have less frequent meetings, but i think we spend the biweekly meetings with... healthier vibes. it’s a lot more fun, and honestly no amount of shame expedites self-studying better than just having a safe and nice environment. we did some practice rounds & i knew the answers to some questions!!! it was fun. i’ll definitely be studying more ahahah this week’s meeting was kind of a throw away but it was good bonding? we also did reading practice.
then i went on tumblr/online shopped/youtubed for 2 hours or smtg..then finished bio hw (3 sections of notes!!!!) while watching gaming streams after eating dinner. then chilled and took a shower, went on tumblr some more, and here i am now! i feel like i didn’t do much but whatever. it’s okay to be leisurely and like.. i just have a worksheet for aplac and a few emails to write tmrw, and i guess that’s it? chill weekend.
okay queue the giant cbt paragraphs:
january was a giant mess mainly because of tasp application... it’s hard for me to take the experiences that i know are invaluable in building my character, and trying to relay that in a effective, understandable way. it made me feel secure because it was almost like i was selling myself/commodifying my experiences, but i was doing it in the course of a 3-4 weeks. it was annoying when i got the diction and syntax just how i wanted it, only for my editor to be like no this is weird. it’s weird to have someone who doesn’t know you try to word your experiences and push you into a template. thank god said editor actually got fired and isn’t my college counselor-- now i have this really tall and goofy friendly white guy (who majored in sociology so you can imagine he’s not the typical yt).
another thing was just friend stuff, but not in a way that points a finger specifically to anyone, it’s just... junior year will literally suck the life out of people and push them to extremes. for me, when i needed support from my friends, it’s not like i could receive it-- partly this is just normal though because normally i don’t confide in them anyway because my life is pretty easy anyway. most of the time/100% of the time i’m initiating the how-are-you type thing and listening to rants and giving advice or playing devil’s advocate or trying to empathize and validate. and when i needed someone to do that for me, i didn’t know how to ask for it? and my friends wouldn’t have the capacity to care for me bc i don’t think they actually know the background of my problems that well. i mean only i really know that and that’s fine bc it’s not really practical for other people to take the time to (1) understand and, (2) care... also it’s not worth it to me to expend the emotional labor explaining to someone. so this really isn’t to sound self sacrificing, it’s just that i consciously don’t expect my friends to be my therapist, but since i have amateur skills & pretty decent emotional intelligence, i’m glad to take that role for my friends. this just blows up in my face every once in awhile when my own problems resurface or smtg and i just turn inward and whatever. thank god it’s over!!! that was basically my january.
someone i kinda know also had something really egregious happen to them. and i can’t talk about it bc i’m making this post public bc i want a record of this on my studyblr blog. anyway i was alone in helping this person with the egregious thing because it’s not the kind of thing i can share (it’s not my story) and also sharing the information can force people to do things that ... wouldn’t be favorable. the stress from that time made me really upset for a few days and i was so angry that the egregious thing even happened, and i’m definitely not the person to get angry.
also had to get my physical for track from this gross pervert of a doctor who uses a stethoscope to touch breasts :\ and i felt really disgusting and gross and it happened and just yuck so cringe ijaijsf don’t wnat to talk about it
ugh okay another thing that i recently came to realize is that fat is really underrated in attractiveness because flab plausibly makes for super comfortable cuddling? basically other than in the context of a fatphobic society (and this isn’t to thin shame), there’s nothing definitively more beautiful about sharp angles or hard muscles compared to soft curves? someone i sit next to in a class wears hoodies and sweatpants almost everyday and they just look like a pillow/perfect big spoon. okay but at the same time food angst and body image stuff is lowkey resurfacing, but in a really lowkey way against myself :(. part of the reason why i got angry last night at myself was because i didn’t like how i drank boba at such a late time, and how i was basically on a sugar high at 2am. so i’m trying to limit my processed food intake as a means of control. i’m pretty safe from relapsing into fullblown AN but a lot of shame associated with certain foods is still there. also i still dislike my thighs and back flab and i didn’t run hard enough to be ready for track and i feel really out of shape :(
a few days ago i went volunteering and was utterly exhausted and not in the mood of being understanding. i don’t think i was being impatient, but i was being more curt than usual when working with somebody. i was really annoyed and dwelling on my irritation and letting it consume me. on the car ride home, i was thinking through all the reasons why i could be so pissy, so i had to think through all this angst and grossness in january. i was always hoping that i was just pmsing when i was feeling especially down during that month, but i think the stress made me skip that month :\ so idk where my period or pms went but goddamn ig i was just especially moody that month if hormones can’t explain it lol
during january, intersections was passed and that was such a big victory. but i didn’t really care about it. i honestly didn’t even want to do anything for it or hope that i’d go well. part of insecurity for me is that i doubt myself so much (sUBCONSCIOUSLY, which is especially annoying bc idk what i actually feel half the time) that i get frustrated easily.
but the stress of the summer app and distancing myself from the stressful things has allowed me to recover, and i’m really happy and my normal self (which i’m really happy about!!!) i’ve literally been writing for 40 min so i’m going to start doing lists for the remaining stuff i said i’d write about
things i look forward to!
feb: planning for intersections, week of break = cramming for jbowl, light school work load
march: starting my club, leadership conference i’m part of, almost time for jbowl
april: jbowl!, spring break, api healthcare disparities presentation?
may: giant speaker event with an alumnus possibly?
summer: lead a free program for low income students around where i live? there’s a lotta red tape and logistics that come with this one though... will be thinking about it for a long time.
okay i’m sleepy bye
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