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alt-simz · 8 months

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And here we are again… kit “add-ons” being put behind a paywall for 3 weeks.

Just because you recoloured or tweaked meshes a little bit DOES NOT give you the right to paywall these items.

I’ve also realized that people are doing this more and more. Editing EA meshes the slightest bit, calling them their own and then putting them up for early access.

There are SO many creators that make original meshes, put lots of time and effort into making ORIGINAL content and are not charging people for it. I am all for making money off of your work, but so many creators are blinded by it.

People will support you if they want to. If you deserve it, it will happen, i promise.

I’m so tired. I’m tired of having the same conversations.

#why are we continuing to do this????#i’m so annoyed #you’re literally recolouring items #these are NOT yours sell #please #ts4 #sims 4 #alt.txt

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memeotional · 2 years

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the TV show and movie both gave him pencil and I am furious that we didn't get to see some crayola sketches

#hannibal #silence of the lambs #nbc hannibal #Hannibal Lecter #books #alt.txt

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gerrydelano · 4 years

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sorry if this is weird but ur the only person i know of who knows a lot abt mental health stuff,,, is it possible to have a form of dissociative disorder without being a system?

not weird at all! don’t sweat it, i’ve got you.

short answer: absolutely! absolutely, without a doubt, yes. there’s a whole collection of dissociative disorders, only a few of which include systems.

so, congratulations, you’ve earned yourself a ronologue! and i really hope it helps you, as well as anyone else who might need it.

(sorry for the delay, by the way! tumblr ate my first attempt at this response, but it’s alright because this draft is way cleaner. everything happens for a reason!)

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: i am obviously not a doctor and i cannot diagnose anyone myself! but that doesn’t mean i don’t know what i’m talking about, and that insight from other people doesn’t help in the meantime between finding doctors/bringing it up to them in a way that gets your symptoms across most accurately.

so, this is ordinarily the type of thing most people might respond to with “just google it,” but even just me looking up references to give you right now was incredibly hard and so honestly, with these especially? it’s not fair to expect people to know where to look all on their own without talking to people in the community and who experience the same issues.

we are so often failed and abused by the system that we have to band together to spread accurate information and coping mechanisms, which may seem contradictory to the fact that things like DID are very hard to self diagnose/many people can’t even do that.

and i am a major advocate for well-researched self diagnosis, i did self dx it first before it was professionally confirmed, as i did with everything else i have on paper now. it’s possible, just not always, depending on what resources and correspondence someone has available.

the most accurate and reliable reference for these is often the community itself, and advocates who have spent ages fighting the system that does not always give us the resources we need to heal. that is not to say professionals are never trustworthy, or that none of them believe these disorders exist; they definitely do! it’s very documented and not at ALL as uncommon as the stigma leads us to believe. but, that still doesn’t mean finding a good doctor is easy.

but, community and solidarity have been key to many people finding peace with these disorders, including myself. i’d be nowhere without the help of people who experience these things, too. this is a lot harder to research than you’d think, sometimes, especially when you don’t have anyone you can talk to.

also OOPS. heads up, i got carried away explaining DID while i was going down the whole list, partially so that i can link this response to others in the future if they ever ask about that particular thing, too. i AM still focused on telling you what you’re asking about, don’t worry, i just wanna cover all the bases!

so, now i’ll just list all the dissociative disorders, namely the major ones but i’ll also mention the lesser acknowledged OSDDs just for the sake of being thorough. liberal spacing and dividers set between for accessibility!

i’ll also link a few things at the end, as well as just some tumblr posts that help put more informal words to personal experience that have personally helped me more than academic research a lot of the time.

EDIT 8/15/21: i want to link this one, too! just found it recently, it didn’t raise any red flags right off the bat when i looked it over. it does lean a bit towards integration as a natural progression in a way that might seem like they think it’s the Best Way to heal, but they do include other perspectives and it isn’t forceful; in fact, in many ways, i agree with it as someone who has leveled out a lot with my system over the years.

i just found this page on a website that helped me a lot ages ago, it gives a good introduction to the breakdown of dissociative disorders and their major/key components. to break it down first before i get into each disorder, they are:

+ AMNESIA

+ DEPERSONALIZATION

+ DEREALIZATION

+ IDENTITY CONFUSION (“an inner struggle about one’s sense of self/identity, which may involve uncertainty, puzzlement or conflict.”) [personally, this causes me the most distress out of literally every other symptom, like. this is no joke this sucks.]

+ IDENTITY ALTERATION (“a sense of acting like a different person some of the time.”)

+ DPDR (depersonalization/derealization; also shortened to just derealization disorder, on occasion.)

+ depersonalization is when you feel out of touch with or “cut off” from your sense of self.

+ you may feel unreal, out of body, like you’re on “auto-pilot,” like you don’t recognize your reflection or the sound of your voice, like you’re watching yourself from another vantage point across the room. you may feel floaty, foggy, “a little to the left,” like a part of your body “doesn’t belong to you,” detached from your emotions, etc.

+ derealization is when you feel out of touch with or “cut off” from your physical surroundings and sometimes the world as a whole.

+ your environment may feel warped, foggy, dim, desaturated, muted, uncomfortable, distant. things and places and other people might not look or feel real to you. it may happen during flashbacks, might even age regress.

+ you may also have a distorted sense of time! literally, the passage of time is 100% fake when you have dissociative symptoms, it’s absolutely atrocious and so hard to keep track of.

+ and you may have met dysphoria, but let’s introduce altered body perception in general! where you may literally feel like an avatar of the flesh because you’re pretty sure you have three arms all of a sudden, or you’ve lost them! i know one of my little alters describes her spontaneous leg paralysis as “my legs are being eaten” which is just so very fun.

+ and in general, yeah, a disconnect from emotions and bodily senses. delayed responses, both physical and mental. sort of a lag, a glitch, a literal numb feeling.

+ here is a link from that same site, this page is on DPDR!

+ dissociative amnesia, which is not the same as just “forgetting” something.

+ this is a lapse in memory, when you may not remember entire chunks of your life/events that happened to you. you might not remember who you are, what happened to you, or how you felt at the time of the trauma.

+ in your everyday life, you might be on “auto-pilot” and be doing things, even having conversations with people, but still black out and lose that time. you may even have dissociative fugue, and “wake up somewhere else” and have no memory of the journey there.

+ this is the type of memory loss present in DID and OSDD.

+ another from the same site, on both dissociative amnesia and dissociative fugue!

(feel free to skip this since you specified you don’t have system stuff happening, i just wanted to include it just so that i can link this response to anyone who might ask about it in the future!)

+ DID (dissociative identity disorder) the “big kahuna” to some people, often considered the furthest extreme you can get out of this cluster of disorders.

+ DID is a traumagenic condition that comes from a child experiencing severe and/or repeated trauma (often abuse) in early childhood, before the ages of 7-9. this one distinction is crucial and not up for debate.

+ a child’s personality “integrates” around the ages of 7-9, up until that point being sort of fragmented and not fully formed. when there is trauma like that, sometimes the brain will say “no way, we cannot survive if we are aware of this, nuh uh” and essentially Close A Door in between pieces of the consciousness.

+ picture the big castle gate lifting shut in shrek 2 and he has to dive into the tiny little space before it’s fully closed and slide inside by the chain. that, except somebody is very much locked out. you literally get locked out of your own brain, locked out of the full experience of your childhood.

+ once they’re separated, they’ll grow and develop differently from one another; one part, the “host” — NOT THE “ORIGINAL” — will be largely unaware that this is even a thing, because another part/eventually multiple parts are taking on the trauma, some responsibilities, overall making it so that the unaware part can continue daily life without the burden of the extreme stress the body is being put through.

+ it’s a survival mechanism. while it can be terrifying and inconvenient at times, it’s also one of the most beautiful things i think the human brain is capable of. this is the kindest thing my brain could have done for me, because no, i would not have survived otherwise. i love my system and what they’ve done to keep me safe. that sort of love is really special, and yeah, singlets really won’t ever quite get that.

+ it is a covert disorder, meaning that you are not actually supposed to know you have it, at least during the time that you are under active threat. a lot of the time, it will come out later when you are in a safer environment and you are able to let down those walls and start to cope with what happened to you. once one wall comes down, the rest will follow at its own pace. sometimes it’s very overwhelming, sometimes it takes ages, but often people can’t self dx this easily/it takes upwards of 10 years to dx it sometimes because it is specifically designed to be a secret so you can survive, and often relies on the account of other people taking note of your behaviour and things you might be forgetting.

EDIT 8/20/21: apparently there is new controversy surrounding DissociaDID on youtube and i no longer feel comfortable suggesting them as an educational resource at this time. if this changes i might put it back, but currently it would be disingenuous to link them.

there are a bunch of different OSDDs (other specified dissociative disorders) and i’ll give a brief rundown of all of them. i’m explaining these after DID because they follow the same rules/symptoms/onset, usually.

here’s another link from traumadissociation, but i’ll round it down.

+ OSDD 1 (split again into 1a and 1b) — this is the PRIMARY subsection that people on here will have, and that is spoken about more often.

+ *known as “almost DID” to some people. here is an article linking OSDD 1 to DID, and weighing them together. i’ll talk more about this in its own section soon.

+ OSDD 1-a is often simplified to “amnesia, with no distinct alters.” the thing is, there are parts, they’re just not “differentiated quite enough” to be separated as starkly. (which, frankly, is extremely subjective.)

+ OSDD 1-b is often simplified to “alters, with no amnesia.” so, parts, but you may often be co-conscious with them and not lose time when they come out to do things, you might be aware that they’re there and are taking control at certain points/you may remember what they do when they’re out as if you were watching from over their shoulder.

these next ones are rarely spoken about in my experience, and they usually involve really severe circumstances that are clearly not the type to be typically discussed on here + the sort of people who end up with these under the conditions they require might not necessarily come to vibe about it on tumblr dot fuck, y’know?

so, i’m going to just paste the definitions i found in this post. i haven’t checked through the entire blog, mind, but it seems to be a pretty solid resource!

+ OSDD 2 is “a change in identity/dissociation caused by coercion, such as a result of torture, brainwashing, thought reform, indoctrination, recruitment into cults/sects/terror organizations, etc).”

+ OSDD 3 is “typically a temporary diagnosis for a dissociative disorder brought on by recent trauma. These symptoms tend to not last longer than a month but can include intense dissociation, depersonalization, amnesia, lack of physical abilities and coordination, etc.”

+ OSDD 4 is “dissociative trances, when individuals slip into highly dissociative states and may be unconscious of events going on around them, may be confused or amnesiac afterwards, or otherwise slipping in and out of dissociative trances. This diagnosis is only given when the trances cannot be explained by something else, like seizures, drugs, religious or cultural activities, etc.”

*so, as someone who self misdiagnosed myself with OSDD 1-b way back almost 6 years ago when i was first figuring this out (because i didn’t know i had so much amnesia! shocker.) and who knows many people with that particular subset, as well as plenty of other systems on a whole, it’s? largely agreed that they are, functionally, so similar that the distinction doesn’t always matter.

we do tend to want Specific Words that feel exactly right and put ourselves in neat little boxes, but something i’ve learned over years of hyperanalyzing my dissociative symptoms is that there is NO real way to split everything into neat little categories. in the end, they often come down to so few very solid, common symptoms that the very little details are? not relevant to treatment plans, or the way that you communicate with others who are in the same boat.

because every person who has these is going to be so different anyway! i, as someone who literally has “~full blown~” DID, don’t always go into full dissociative amnesia blackouts and in fact am so often co-conscious with alters that i thought for a very long time i didn’t even have amnesia at all. (a huge mistake; i have literally no memory of most of my life. t’was the point.)

and even those with DID are going to have very indistinct parts, too! even with DID, even the “stronger” presences aren’t always going to be fully-rounded, multi-dimensional human beings with all of the pieces that you’d usually say MAKE a single person. including people like me, the “host!” we are a sum!

(one joke ren and i have is that we’re sort of like SIMS. you just get to pick 3 personality traits and that’s it, that’s your whole deal. it’s why sometimes, i have trouble talking about anything but my special interests, even beyond just the normal autistic experience; i literally have very little else making me up currently, we have limitations, we struggle with fleshing ourselves out.

we are all individual people! but we are not “conventional” people in the slightest, and there are going to be things about us that come across a little bizarre or stunted! it’s the nature of having fragmented consciousness! i so wish that singlets — and even other systems, sometimes — would be more compassionate about those limitations.

please don’t judge an alter for having a shorter range of things they can talk about on a dime. sometimes, all someone has is trauma. sometimes, it makes up so much of their life that they don’t have casual stories or fun experiences or everyday happenings to share instead. if all i can talk about is my writing, or my favourite podcast, it’s because i am not exaggerating when i say i have next to nothing else. i really mean sometimes it’s that limited, and it has to do with the fact that no, i have not lived a full life.)

treatment for this is not so much “you have to take this specific pill for this specific diagnosis and if you take the DID pill when you have OSDD-1b you will die!” as it is, “we are going to work on instilling you with some coping mechanisms to help you manage your symptoms as they come.”

those symptoms ranging from the actual experience of amnesia, to the struggles that forgetting important things can bring to your relationships and professional life, to the identity disturbance that may bring you anxiety and cause you to have a crisis over “who you are,” to actively counseling your individual alters if you have them and if they need help.

any combination of which can be found in people with DID and OSDD 1, to varying degrees, based on the individual/system. after years and years of trying to force myself into rigid structure, i and many others have seriously come to just be like “fuck it, we literally have the same shit happening. high five.”

there’s also unspecified dissociative disorder, which happens when you experience a lot of dissociation but you don’t fit the criteria for any of these above. here is another link from traumadissociation on this!

at that point, a lot of the time, it’s a byproduct of a totally different disorder, or they just may not be diagnosing you with the right dissociative disorder and it’ll take a bit more time.

because dissociation in general is also just a VERY common symptom of all sorts of other disorders! typically BPD, PTSD (big one), psychosis, even generalized anxiety. really examine yourself, and take your time.

(okay, fun fact, i’ve been reading this out loud to myself and it just hit me while adding “take your time” to that above there that delphine is probably the reason i read things aloud to myself in a very strange accent that is Not Mine when i’m checking for mistakes/trying to make sure it’s readable. like, i can sort of feel her over my shoulder and i know she’s borrowing the voicebox. that’s so cool jhdkbjh i don’t know why it never clicked until now that i’m not just being a dork, it’s just her helping me proofread. which is still dorky, but now i know i can blame her!)

so, here’s where i link a few tumblr posts with informal/simplified phrasing that have helped me! even jokes have their place in this discovery process because they definitely give a way of putting words to how this shit just feels sometimes.

this post is good, OP describes “tiers of dissociation” largely based on personal experience but i find it pretty succinct and clear. (i’m personally usually at a 1, that’s my baseline. tier 3 happens sometimes, but tbh i’d hugely prefer that to tier 2, tier 2 is absolute hell.)

sometimes shitposts like this describe it better than the entire fucking DSM

but THIS post really gets it. i personally identify so much with “floam” that i got out of bed to come back here, get my laptop, reopen this, and link it because i need you to see it.

and as i was going through my tag to find things for this, i stumbled upon this poem that i loved years ago and it made me cry so! please take this as an offering, maybe it’ll make you feel something, too.

honestly, go into the #actuallydissociative tag, look for bloggers who post about dissociation, you’ll find a WEALTH of wonderful things ranging from the tier post that helps with articulation, shitposts that are Beyond relatable, and beautiful art and poetry that just guts you.

just be careful on like... “trauma tumblr” because FUCK that noise. it helped me back in the day but it wasn’t really worth all the awful shit i exposed myself to and often triggered myself with in the process. be safe!

if you dissociate a lot overall but you don’t fit the criteria for a full out dissociative disorder, you very likely do still have something else going on and you just need to do a full examination of what your other symptoms might be.

it is largely a trauma response, the brain’s way of numbing itself to stressful stimuli. it can get really fucking annoying, too! real g-ddamn inconvenient! and it can very much impede with your functionality and quality of life.

so, if you’re experiencing this quite a lot, i really hope that you are able to do the research you need in order to clearly articulate your struggle with any professional you may have access to. and if you can’t do that, i really hope that you’re able to find resources within the community that can tide you over until you’re able to pursue other measures that will help you in the future!

and even if you do find/have a doctor, don’t limit yourself to only talking to them about it; community is always going to be my strongest and most consistent recommendation for this kind of thing. i’ve said it 50 times and i’ll say it to you now: solidarity is my medicine of choice.

maybe it’s the communism. maybe it’s the constant failings of the mental health field. maybe the latter informed my interest in the former. maybe people are just good at heart, and support systems are necessary to human survival. it’s all the things! and you can get through this.

sorry for being so long winded, i’ve just definitely been meaning to talk about this as a whole (especially DID, winks) and i figure it’d be good to have it all in one place! i really hope that something here helped you to at least narrow down what direction you might need to look in. best of luck! feel free to ask followup questions, or DM me if you ever need.

#disability gang!#ronologues #alt.txt #anon #asks

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dnasplicers · 3 years

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revalinks what are our ship emojis. this is important.

#revalink #sal.txt #alt.txt #tloz #botw

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alt-png · 4 years

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animal crossing comes out in 6 days and i’m so excited :]]!!

(if you’d like a commission in this style, dm me!! something simple like this would be $15, added shading or additional characters would range roughly from $20-$30!)

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dadmas · 6 years

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question: would anyone be interested if I opened up for in-character Q&A?

like the sort of thing where you could send Damas asks and I'd write his answer, possibly with doodles or short comics.... this isn't a typical ‘rp blog’ (and i don't have any desire to turn it into one) but I used to do this sort of ask game with OCs & really enjoyed it.

anyway, send some asks if you got em!

#dadmas lives #Damas #ask dadmas #OP #-to be honest i don't really care for the style/format of tumblr-based rp #-(& just in general i prefer original content for rp rather than fandom stuff)#-but doing simple asks w/ in-character responses sounds like fun!#-and of course regular asks will always be welcome too #-just thinkin of things i could do to give this lil sideblog a bit more activity...#-or you can always send me art requests too; i'm always down to draw damas #alt.txt

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gamingtechtoo · 2 years

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lovebestseoservicesdelhi · 4 years

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gerrydelano · 4 years

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"call you sm else" like... ron't? shfjgk SORRY

you’re speaking my language. but also, no.

FALSE ALARM I’M BACK BECAUSE WE JUST HAD THE FUNNIEST SWITCH OF ALL FUCKING TIME I LITERALLY CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW CINEMATIC THAT WAS. someone made another fucking pun in the server because of THIS MESSAGE and he’d been silent for a while so when he went to almost laugh at it (after being flat affect man for like a fucking hour and not laughing) his accent slipped and mine came back and i was able to comment on it like “oh, shit, i got my voice b— MY voice? I’M BACK!” and threw my arms up in celebration and started CACKLING and it felt BIZARRE because my natural state of being IS cackling laughter so for him to have NOT let the body Laugh (much) for over an hour actively made my chest compress itself like i was hyperventilating with laughter over that SWITCH for a GOOD MINUTE and i am actually out of breath

like no joke if this were a movie someone would complain that i’m a stereotypical and inaccurate portrayal of DID it was so fucking fast like if this was a cartoon he’d have left a person-shaped cloud of dust behind him so PLEASE let no one tell you that every single switch someone experiences is going to be either really agonizingly slow (like ours usually are) or always at the drop of a hat for no reason (sometimes it takes hours, we purpled for Ages before he even took over) that kind of SMACK has Never happened to us before i’m in AWE

and it’s all your fault! you did this! THANK you! he’s ron’t now and i’m elliy’ain’t.

#i love leaving his shitty initial attempt at a reply up and not erasing it like this is the ffucking diference #i am HOWLING #alt.txt #going in that tagjgvhbkn #caps tw #anon #asks

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dnasplicers · 3 years

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trying to find certain things to take my mind off of other certain things but fuck, it's impossible to search for.

#alt.txt #keith #is that how sal tags things on here. not sure

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alt-png · 5 years

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