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fullmetalscullyy · 5 years

Text

i’m falling - part 4

part 1 - till that day

part 2 - i take you home

part 3 - know that i’m waiting

read on ao3 and ffnet

last chapter! i apologise for any tears but hopefully... this makes up for it...? :D

you're calling me

Roy’s back protested in pain as he sat in the uncomfortable chair by Riza’s bedside, staring at his sleeping wife in the bed. Her heart had started beating again hours ago and he refused to leave her side. Not after that.

Maes lay curled against him, sound asleep. His thumb was perched on his lower lip. Roy ran a hand through his hair absent-mindedly, noting how Maes hadn’t sucked his thumb in about two years.

His stomach twisted painfully as it had done so often over the last four weeks. It was almost unnoticeable at this point.

Almost.

Maes stirred in his sleep, his legs curling even further into his body. Roy pulled his body closer to his, loath to let him go. The nurses had very kindly brought in a spare patient’s armchair for his son to sleep in, but Maes had just protested sleepily, clinging to his father’s neck when Roy tried to move him.

“That’s okay, kiddo,” Roy told him, getting as comfortable as he could in the god-awful chair. “You get comfortable. I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

Hearing his son talk about how terrified he’d been when he thought Roy wouldn’t return to him, just like Mummy hadn’t, broke Roy. It was something he didn’t think he’d ever be able to admit to Riza. It would increase her guilt tenfold and Roy knew she would be beating herself up enough about being kidnapped in the first place.

Roy still didn’t even know what had happened. Another team had been dealing with the case. Roy was only focussed on finding her. No one argued with a General, so Roy used that to his advantage and commandeered the search operation. Of course, he wanted the bastards found, but Riza was his top priority.

Keeping his promise to his son was top priority.

He’d hated how he’d lied to Maes, but he couldn’t tell Maes the truth. He couldn’t. Roy already felt like a failure, not being more clued into what was going on that allowed Riza to be kidnapped in the first place. He didn’t need Maes to think him a failure too. It was to protect the boy – he was simply too young – but it was also to protect himself too.

Having Maes think his father was a failure would be too much, however there was a niggle in the back of his mind that Maes would find out eventually. As part of his new education plan, he’d proposed that the true history of Ishval – and the other battles around Amestris that the homunculi had played a part in – was taught to children in order to educate them and – hopefully – prevent history from repeating itself. Roy wrote the material himself, with input from Riza and Major Armstrong.

It painted both he and Riza as the criminals they were, but that was the price he was willing to pay for what he’d done.

Roy had often thought of the moment Maes would reach that year of school, and hear the teacher read out his parent’s names and explain their involvement in the genocide of the Ishvalan people.

That day would crush Maes.

They would explain to him beforehand, of course, but it wouldn’t stop the little shits in his class from tormenting the boy for what his parents had done.

Roy bowed his head. It was what he deserved, but not what his boy deserved.

The beeping on Riza’s heart machine changed and Roy’s head snapped up.

Not again. Not again!

She stirred, her legs moving under the thin sheet, face contorting in pain.

“Riza?” Roy whispered in disbelief. “Riza,” he called slightly louder, sitting up and leaning forward, bringing Maes with him. He clasped her hand in his, giving it a squeeze.

He couldn’t believe it.

Roy held his breath as she opened her eyes.

He’d never been so happy to see her eyes before. The moment he regained his sight after the Promised Day came second to this moment. For sure.

She was awake. She was alive.

The doctors had been unsure when she would awake. The mind had gone through a great amount of trauma and it needed to heal, just like her body. Roy had prayed constantly to a god he didn’t believe in to bring her back to them.

They couldn’t do it alone.

She was the glue that held them together. Her family, and the team at work. Fuery had left shortly after Riza flatlined. He was a mess. Roy had ordered Havoc and Breda to go home too, asking if someone could call Falman and Armstrong and inform them of the situation. They had all worked as tirelessly as Roy had and the deserved the rest. The worst was over for now. They just needed to wait on her to return to them.

“Roy?” she rasped.

“Oh my – Riza,” he breathed, tears filling his eyes and falling down his cheeks. Face crumpling, Roy lifted her hand to his lips, kissing her fingers in his relief.

“Roy.” She said his name like a prayer and Roy let it wash over him. “And… Maes.” This time, Riza joined him, bursting into tears. Roy lifted Maes up – who was now half asleep as he whimpered and wrapped his legs automatically around his father’s waist – and perched on the edge of Riza’s bed. Around the tangle of cables, he smoothed down her hair and leaned forward, kissing her forehead.

“I missed you both,” she cried quietly. “So much.”

Roy shushed her gently. “It’s okay,” he soothed. “You’re back now.”

“Daddy?” Maes mumbled tiredly.

“Maes? Wake up, Maes. Mummy is awake.”

Maes turned his head and opened his eyes, facing his mother. It took the boy a moment to realise what he was seeing and when he did, his head snapped up and he gaped.

“Mummy!” he cried excitedly. “You’re awake!”

“Maes,” Riza sobbed, opening her arms for her son. “Come here.”

“Are you okay? Your face is hurt. What happened? Are you still sick?”

“Be careful, Maes,” Roy warned him interrupting his excited babbling. Their son picked his way carefully over the cables on his hands and knees and curled against her side like a cat. Riza’s arms wrapped around his small body tightly, tears falling down her face. Maes’ hands fisted in her hospital gown, gripping it tightly as he cried.

“Why are you crying, Maes?” Riza asked, sniffing and brushing his fringe off his face, cupping his face in her hands.

“Because you are,” he mumbled.

“These are happy tears, sweetheart,” Riza reassured them. “I missed you. So much.” She brought his face closer, kissing his cheek before enveloping their son in a hug again.

“Okay, that’s all right then,” Maes reasoned. “You came back to us,” he sighed happily. “Just like Daddy always said you would.”

* * *

“Maes, give your mother a minute to get settled,” Roy scolded lightly. Their son was bouncing from foot to foot, desperate to show Riza the picture he’d drawn her. “She’s tired and needs to sit down first.”

Maes stopped shifting and finally stood still, watching anxiously as Roy helped Riza over to her armchair in their living room.

Roy had filled her in on what had happened while she was away. Maes thought she’d been ill in the hospital – something she was glad about. Riza knew Roy hated to lie to the boy, but how could he tell their son she’d been kidnapped. He was only five. There was no way he could have.

She’d been in the hospital for another three weeks. The wound on her side had been infected, like she’d suspected. The infection had run its course and she was on the mend. Her knee pained her when she walked, but it was better. She just needed to do her exercises from the physiotherapist, and she would be right as rain once more.

But she had plenty of time. She wasn’t due to return to work for another month thanks to her injuries.

“Okay, go and get it.”

Maes face lit up and he raced up the stairs of their house.

“It?” Riza asked.

“The picture he drew you,” Roy explained, perching on the arm of the chair and wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

Maes came barrelling back into the living room, skidding to a halt with a proud smile on his face. The paper in his hands was folded, like a card, and Riza could see a drawing on the other side.

“I made this for you, Mummy,” Maes beamed. “It was to help you feel better. I couldn’t give it to you while you were in the hospital because you were sick, but Daddy said it would be a good idea to save it for when you came home so it could make you feel extra better.”

Riza felt tears welling in her eyes.

It was typical child’s drawing, the house, the stick people labelled with “Mummy”, “Daddy”, and “Me”, the sun shining brightly in the top corner wearing sunglasses and a large smile. The message inside was what overwhelmed her.

To Mummy

Your not feeling well now but Daddy sayz youl be beter soon.

I made this to make you feeel beter.

Lov Maes

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Riza hugged her son so tightly he begun to squawk that he was being crushed. Laughing, she dropped him and ruffled his hair.

At his worried face – his smile dropped when he saw her tears – she grinned. “Happy tears, sweetheart. Don’t worry. Well done, because this has made me feel so much better.”

Maes beamed.

* * *

“I’m sorry –”

“Don’t apologise for what happened,” Roy murmured as they walked up the stairs to their bedroom. “Please, don’t. It wasn’t your fault.”

“But –”

“Riza.” He suddenly sounded very tired. “Please,” he whispered.

They were quiet as they passed Maes’ room. Riza knew better than to talk about it with him in earshot.

Once the door was closed, she tugged her husband back as he begun to walk towards the bed. Looking at her expectantly, he waited for her to speak.

“I missed you,” she whispered. “So much.”

Suddenly, her face was cupped in both his hands. Riza grasped his wrists lightly, holding on, anchoring herself to him.

“I… I missed you too.”

“I didn’t think I would make it out. I couldn’t think about you or Maes,” she admitted quietly. “If I did, I would break.”

Roy hushed her, sensing the emotion beginning to overtake her. He pulled her close and Riza buried her face in the crook of his neck. “It’s okay. You’re safe.”

They held each other for a while. Riza relished in the contact, something she’d missed dearly for over a month. It had been bearable in the hospital, resulting mostly in just hand holding. Maes was small enough that he could give her a cuddle in bed when the doctor or nurses weren’t looking, but Roy couldn’t. Seeing them for hours every day and unable to hold them both properly ate at Riza. She had longed to be held by Roy again. It was impossible with her in a hospital bed. Tears sprang to her eyes as they remained in place, content.

“When you phoned… I couldn’t believe it. I thought it was a prank at first.”

“That was when I broke, hearing your voice again,” she admitted. “I didn’t want to do it in that way but there was no other choice. And, of course, it would be you. I just hoped you all hadn’t left the office for the day yet.”

The look in his face told Riza that he would have been there for hours every day.

“You did it, though.” He pulled away, the two gazing at each other. “You found your way back to me. To us.”

He kissed her and Riza sobbed in the back of her throat. She crushed his face against hers, the hands on the back of his head holding him in place. She never wanted to leave this moment.

“Come on,” Roy urged softly once they were apart, giving her an eskimo kiss. “Let’s get you comfortable.”

Roy helped her ease into bed just as there was a quiet knock at the door. Roy opened it, revealing Maes on the other side. He never said a word, just clutched his little rabbit close to his face as he looked between his mother and father.

Riza hadn’t seen him sleep with that rabbit in months. Apparently, he was “a big boy now” and didn’t need to sleep with a soft toy. Her heart clenched when she realised that he probably only did it to give himself comfort while she’d been away.

She’d been the one to give him that rabbit for his birthday two years ago.

“What is it, Maes?” Riza asked as she got comfortable. It felt so good to be in her own bed again. It felt so good to be home, full stop. She knew that once she returned to work things would be different. She’d been missing for three weeks and that would need to be wrapped up. She’d need to give a statement and fill out a report on her kidnapping.

She’d yet to tell Roy that the reason she’d been taken was for them to interrogate her about flame alchemy. He didn’t need to hear about that right now. They were home, they were safe, and that was all she was concerned about. There was no way she was breaking this bubble they found themselves in. Not tonight.

“I was… I was wondering…” He looked helplessly up at his father.

“Of course, bud. Come on.” He was lifted into Roy’s arms and he closed the door behind them.

Maes curled against his mother’s side, his rabbit toy clutched against his chest. Roy turned off the light and climbed in beside them, wrapping an arm around Maes. Within a minute, Maes was out like a light.

“We slept like this almost every night,” Roy murmured, smoothing down his son’s unruly hair so it no longer tickled his face. “We both needed the comfort. I don’t think he’s ready to give it up yet, and to be honest, neither am I.”

Riza’s chest was pained, but at the same time she was relieved. It made her happy to think her two boys had been looking after each other while she was away.

She turned onto her side, facing Roy and Maes. Watching them both they were identical. Roy’s eyes were closed, and he wore the same relaxed expression as Maes. The dark circles under his eyes had grown fainter over her time in the hospital, but they were still there.

Riza moved her arm, linking her hand with Roy’s. His eyes opened sleepily, and he smiled at her. She returned it before cuddling in close to her son. She kissed his forehead and sighed, content, happy to be back with her family.

#royai #royai fanfic #royai fic #royai kid #im falling #emma writes #fic request

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cinnamayroll · 6 years

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I want more: Kiyoshi, Akashi, Izuki, Himoru, Imayoshi and Hyuuga being told they’re going to be dads, and how they handle their s/o having morning sickness! Thank you :3

Sure!! I’m happy I got something for Hyuuga and Izuki for the first time, I hope I’ll get their characters good ^^

-May

Kyoshi:

unlike most, he won’t need any time to process or understand what you said because, god he waited way too long

will sweep you off your feet immediately, picking you and swinging you around

laughs until he cries

and it’s legit crying, he’ll have his face burried in your hair and cries, but he’s also grinning the entire time

it takes him a while to come down, but when he does, he finally sets you down and will make the he always makes when you’re having a date at home

“I’m making some more. We’re eating for three now, after all.”

might even tear up at that again

he’s so happy, no one will see him doing anything else than smile the next few days

tells you that he loves you a lot

actually, he’s one of the best nurses for your morning sickness

while he does cringe at your puking, he’s not above holding your hair and stroking your back or flushing the stuff down for you

spends as much time in the bathroom before he has to to work as he must

when you don’t want him to be around when you have to throw up, he’ll be in the kitchen making you tea

always kisses your forehead when he’s leaving for work before you even if he has to come back to the bathroom to do that

Akashi:

Akashi is half convinced that it’s to good to be true

however, when he sees your excited face he dares to smile himself and comes to you to give you a long, soft kiss

“I’m happy we’re finally going to be a real family.”

whispers things like that

strokes your hair behind your ear and stares at your face with a loving expression

when you’re in bed later he’ll fall asleep with his hand on your tummy, stroking it with his thumb

gets even more protective of you than he usually is and barely lets you do anything yourself as long as you’re pregnant

when you first had mornibg sickess Akashi insted that you went to a doctor even though you were really suer it was just that

is kinda fussy about it, but also smooth

if the doctore recomended any type of medication, he’ll make sure you take it and if not, he’ll help you by sitting by you and holding you through it

is willing to cancel his work or call in late if it’s to talk you through it

secretely is highkey repulsed by puking, but does his best not to let it show

Izuki

as soon as you tell him he walks over to your counters, looking through them

“Do you want some honey?” “What- Did you even hear what I said?” “Because you’re a mom to bee?”

he just had to do that, but once he’s done he’ll kiss you, grinning broadly against your lips

“I’m happy to bee a dad.” he’ll say, earning himself a slap on the arm

is very, very excited about baby stuff

looks up cute jumpers and toys online (including basketball themed baby clothes and toys)

can’t keep the news to himself for a single day

the temptation to make puns would be too great

the thing about the morning sickness is that while he doesn’t have too much of a problem with it, he won’t refrain from puns, so if you can’t deal with that in your state, you shouldn’t have him in the bathroom

if you don’t mind, he’s a really good boyfriend, though he’s not fond of actually seeing your puke because that makes him feel queasy himself

but he’ll hold you and stuff as long as you don’t throw up somewhere not in the toilet, he‘s fine

though prepare for the bee thing to be running gag for the next nine months

Himuro:

like Akashi he reacts pretty calm

will hug you tight and kiss your forehead, smiling wide against it

“You will be the best mom, _____. The best.”

then he’ll kiss you properly, leaning you against the kitchen table, kissing until you both are out of breath

will probably tell you stories from his little cousins and how he used to babysit back in the states

is very happy and also really proud to be able to call himself a dad

he’ll want to do typically American baby rituals during your pregnancy that he picked up from his American dramas and still knows from his time there (he’s still bad with mixing the cultures up, but he likes it that way)

isn’t disgusted with you puking at all (of course, it’s not pleasant when you happen to throw up on him)

plays music in the bathroom to play over the noise you make when throwing up

combs his fingers through your hair cause he knows it calms you and he likes to play with your hair anyway

asks you a lot of stuff you like to talk about a lot to keep you at least a bit distracted

if you’re feeling really weak afterwards he won’t hesitate to carry you back to the couch or bed

Imayoshi:

to be all honest, he most likely figures it out before you even tell him

probably sneaks up to you on the day you planned to tell him and whispers to you from behind you

“So you’re pregnant, huh?”

is enjoying the shock on your face immensely, but also wraps his arms around you from behind you and placed his chin on your shoulder

“I’m really happy about that, you know.”

kisses your neck and places his hands on your belly in a protective manner

he proceeds to figure everything else during the pregnancy out before you just to drive you a little crazy

like most others, he doesn’t mind the morning sickness, but he would be kinda relieved if you wouldn’t want to have him in there

it’s just that he can’t stand the scent of vomit all that well

he knows a lot about it though and reads a lot on it as well, so he knows some good methods to deal with it

always forgets that you’re not drinking coffee when he’s already poured two cups of it, so he’ll chug one down before you are ready and quickly make some tea

Hyuuga:

when you tell him he just stares at you blankly for a few seconds before he goes “Seriously?! Are you really? We’ll be parents, there’s a kid in there?”

sputters some more incohernt shit before he finally settles for garbbing your hands and then pulling you in for a tight hug

“I swear I’ll try my best to be a good dad!”

just might cry a bit

is the type to start to make the house baby safe months before the baby is ment to arrive

might also have a small crisis whether he’ll really be a god dad, but his worries are gone when he looks at you and knows that he’s totally ready to raise your child

is less than thrilled to hold your hair while you puke your guts out, but hell, you’re carying a child inside of you, he can do as much as helping you puke

does very light exercise with you after to get your circulation back up

for the remaining time he just chills out with you in the bathroom, watching videos with you on his phone

#Knb #kuroko no Basket #kuroko no basuke #knb headcanons #knb scenario #hyuuga junpei #izuki shun #kiyoshi teppei #imayoshi shoichi #himuro tatsuya last game #relationship headcanons #reader insert #anime #manga #headcanons #scenario

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imagine-knb · 6 years

Text

First Goodbye [Kasamatsu Yukio]

"Excuse me! Pardon me! I-I'm sorry!"

[Name] was in a hurry, running down the sidewalk as fast as she could in the direction of the train station. Her breath came out ragged as she tried in vain to get the oxygen she needed through her mouth and her legs had started to cramp a bit due to the sudden onslaught of exercise, but she knew she couldn't stop running. She had to make it in time.

Looking around her surroundings as she ran, she saw a street sign she recognized. She was only a few blocks away from the train station now. It would only take her fifteen minutes if she continued to run at the pace she was going at. Quickly pulling her cellphone from her work uniform's pocket, she nearly dropped it as she glanced at the time. She only had eighteen minutes to get there in time.

"Damn it," she cursed, picking up her pace by just a little bit as she continued to sprint towards the station. Her mind wandered back to the conversation she had with Kasamatsu last night, distracting her from the screaming ache in her leg muscles.

"So, my coworker wants me to cover her shift tomorrow," [Name] said solemnly, phone pressed up against her ear as she lay back in her bed.

On the other end of the line, she could hear the shuffling of clothes and the crinkling of plastic. This continued for a moment before the sound of a zipper shutting replaced it and the other end of the line went silent. [Name] didn't know whether or not to repeat what she had said earlier, afraid that her boyfriend was angry. After a longer moment, she heard a heavy sigh escape his lips, the sound of his mattress shifting following soon after. She could only assume that he had sat down.

"And you accepted."

It wasn't a question. It didn't have to be because Kasamatsu knew that [Name] was fiercely dedicated to her job. In a way, he was proud that she had found something to invest her time in, but he was also disappointed that it had been taking away what little time they had together. Not hearing an answer from the first year female, Kasamatsu continued speaking as he lay back on his bed, his eyes landing on his already packed suitcase.

"I guess I'll just have to see you after work then."

"It won't be too long, I promise." [Name] tried desperately to get the disappointed tone out of his voice, but knew she was grasping at straws for hoping that much. "Her shift is usually a really short one. I'll be over there in no time."

The shift had not been a short one at all. That day there seemed to have a plethora of customers filing in through the doors of the café and [Name] found herself swamped with work. Losing herself in the environment of a job, she had barely noticed the hours passing by. It wasn't until another coworker had pointed out the time on the clock that she realized she had been working far too long. If she didn't leave soon, she would miss him completely. Thankfully, her boss had been understanding of her situation and allowed her to clock out. She had left as soon as the words left his lips, not bothering to change out of her work uniform.

"There it is," [Name] gasped as she saw the entrance to the train station.

Quickly checking for any oncoming cars, she dashed across the street once the coast was clear and head straight for the open doors. The station was huge and there were maps of the interior placed all along the walls. Jogging up to one, [Name] quickly located the star that would symbolize her current location before searching for the right terminal. Her finger followed the path she should take and she made a mental note of all the turns she would be making. She only hoped she could remember them all in the right sequence as she pulled away from the map and continued to run. A clock on the far wall caught her eye as it ticked away. She had nine minutes.

"It's fine if you can't make it," Kasamatsu stated over the phone. [Name] could practically hear the pout in his voice. "We hung out a lot today, so it doesn't really matter if you come by tomorrow."

[Name] frowned. She had upset him thoroughly and she wanted to make it up to him. "I can call them and say I can't come in tomorrow. It won't be too big a deal."

It was silent for another moment and [Name] wondered if he was pondering the idea. Finally, after about a minute, he gave off another long sigh.

"Idiot, you can't do that. You'll only be going back on your word."

Silence consumed them once again as they both lay in their respective beds, cellphones pressed against their ears as they waited for the other to continue speaking. [Name] wished silently to herself that she was lying next to him at his house so she could run a comforting hand down his arm. She wanted to be close to him.

"Hey, Yukio," [Name] said after a good three minutes of silence had passed by. She wanted to change the subject, refusing to dwell on depressing thoughts for long. "I've noticed something." Kasamatsu grunted in response, urging her to continue as he listened. "You've stopped stuttering a lot around me. We don't even have to be talking about basketball anymore. I'm really surprised."

Feeling embarrassed, Kasamatsu growled into the phone's receiver. "I-Idiot."

His weak insult, weakened further by the fact he had stumbled over the word, made [Name] laugh loudly. She couldn't help but feel like she wanted this moment to last forever, the two of them talking with each other until they could no longer speak. Then they would just bask in each other's presence, contently happy.

"[Name]cchi, you made it!"

[Name] looked ahead and saw a familiar blonde, surrounded by other familiar basketball players, waving at her spastically. Pushing herself to go a little bit faster for just a little bit longer, she started panting heavily as the small crowd of boys made a clearance for her. Stopping with her hands on her knees, she coughed once before looking up at the former captain of Kaijou's basketball team with an apologetic expression.

"You're late."

"Y-Yeah… Sorry."

The pair gave each other small smiles as they shared the inside joke with each other before [Name] lunged at him, pulling him into her embrace. Kasamatsu, in turn, wrapped his arms around her tightly as if letting her go would reveal that this entire experience had been one long dream. Burying his face into her neck, he inhaled the mixture of café sweets and sweat that lingered on her skin, not caring that his family and friends were watching the two of them interact with each other.

"I didn't think you'd make it," he mumbled into her skin, leaving a soft kiss at the corner of her jaw before pulling back. He kept her in his embrace, wanting to hold her for as long as he could.

"And miss seeing you off? No way."

Tears had started to form at the corner of her eyes as she gazed at him. She had been genuinely worried she wouldn't get to see him before he left, but the weight on her heart had been instantly lifted once she was in his arms. Noticing her tears, Kasamatsu rubbed his thumbs gently at the corner of her eyes, willing them away. He placed his forehead against her own, bending down a bit to accommodate for the height difference.

"I'll come back to visit," he repeated his promise from the last time she had cried, hoping it would calm her.

"I-I know," she mumbled back, her voice feeling thick from having to hold back tears. "A-And I'll visit, t-too. A-And then we have breaks together. And I-I'll only be in high school for t-two more years. I-It'll all go by in no time, r-right?"

Hearing the crack in her voice pained him and he knew instantly that this long distance relationship between them would be a hard one. It had been hard enough being with someone that went to a different high school in a different district, but it would be even harder now that he was moving towns in preparation for college. The distance, though only four hours away by train, had grown between them and he knew a larger struggle was ahead.

However, he was willing to take it head on.

Nodding his head awkwardly against hers, he closed his eyes and enjoyed her presence before the speakers in the station announced the arrival of his train. He would have to leave now or risk missing the only train heading in the right direction. Releasing her from his hold, Kasamatsu placed both his hands upon her face before leaning in for a gentle kiss. As their lips met for the last time in a while, Kasamatsu could feel [Name]'s tears start falling as they brushed up against his hands. Pulling away reluctantly, his steel blue eyes found hers.

"I love you."

[Name]'s hand went up to her mouth to cover up a sob that threatened to bubble up her throat. "I-I love you, t-too."

Stepping away from her, Kasamatsu bent to pick up his luggage before going to stand next to his parents. He watched as Kise and his other friends went to console the crying girl, Kise placing a friendly arm around her shoulder. When Kasamatsu's eyes met the blonde's, he gave his junior a nod in thanks.

"Don't worry, Senpai! I'll make sure to cheer [Name]cchi up when you can't!" Kise had his own tears in his eyes as he waved a sporadic goodbye. Kasamatsu had to keep himself from rolling his eyes and yelling at the model, knowing it would ruin the moment if he did.

"A-And I'll make s-sure to punch Kise-kun when y-you can't!" [Name] retaliated. Kise agreed with her before her words sunk in, instantly sounding offended once her implied message reached his mind. This time Kasamatsu couldn't help it. He rolled his eyes.

"I'll call when I get there."

Lifting his hand in a final goodbye, Kasamatsu turned towards his train and walked away.

{EXTRA}

An hour into his travel and both of his parents were sound asleep sitting across from him in their seats. Kasamatsu sighed, looking out the window as the scenery passed by rather quickly. A vibration in his pocket alerted him to an incoming message and he instantly plucked it from his pocket, wondering who the text could be from.

'Senpai, [Name]cchi kicked me when I tried to give her a hug! She's so mean and it's all your fault!'

Kasamatsu snorted, quickly typing out a response. A few seconds later and he received another text, this one from Kise's attacker.

'It's his fault, I swear. You're not a bad influence on me. You taught me how to defend myself.'

'[Name]cchi is lying!'

Kasamatsu rolled his eyes, a small smirk finding its way to his lips. It was as if he hadn't even left.

End

#kasamatsu #cof

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dvrksiider · 6 years

Note

multiples of 3 for the OC questions

Super detailed questions about your OCs || Not Accepting (thx nida :p)

@errantson

3. Did they have a good childhood? What are fond memories they have of it? What’s a bad memory?

Main Verse: Nyla had an average childhood. Not necessarily good or bad (I don’t know if neutral is the best word here). The few fond memories were her warrior training before her Force sensitivity kicked in at full throttle.

Light Side Au: Corryn feels she had a good childhood. Of course it was difficult for her because of her sensory overload and the intense training she began as a little kid. She fondly remembers spending time with her mother and father and how proud they were of her.

6. What were they like at school? Did they enjoy it? Did they finish? What level of higher education did they reach? What subjects did they enjoy? Which did they hate?

Main Verse: She kept to herself and was distant. During her short time at the praxeum, she made very little friends. She was a bright kid with a lot of potential but the sensory disorder combined with her Force connection made her learning environment toxic and agonizing. Nyla finished her training with Snoke; out of her 17 years of training, 14 years were dedicated to darkness. During this time Nyla learned the ins and outs of pain, what made people tick and how a person could be broken. She also discovered she had a knack for Sith Alchemy.

Light Side Au: Corryn was shy and distant at first before finally feeling comfortable enough around the other students. She grew to love the academy as well as Luke and most of her peers. Before her 18th birthday, she went to Coruscant to start her sentinel training where they were busy restoring the Jedi Archives. Corryn stopped her training for a year once she discovered the praxeum had been destroyed. After that, she went back to Coruscant for another two years to study under her second master. She studied the old Jedi texts in great detail and learned how to strengthen and maintain control of her connection to the Force.

9. Do animals like them? Do they get on well with animals?

Main Verse: Nyla is mean so therefore animals are like “uh no way.” She doesn’t particularly care for them either. There’s probably an unspoken agreement between her and creatures of the galaxy which involves both parties staying out of the other’s way.

Light Side Au: Corryn loves animals. Most animals seem to like her as well. She helped Mara Eclipse take care of a smuggled Porg and the little guy has now won just about everyone’s heart around base. (eron wants to eat him??!! but he’s a good boi!!)

12. What is their favourite food?

Main Verse: Traditional Mandalorian dishes. Whatever will give her the strength and nutrients needed to ensure her survival. Alcohol is nice too.

Light Side Au: Corry loves meat ( a la Sokka), but really give this girl anything. She has a crazy metabolism and is a bottomless pit.

15. Are they good at cooking? Do they enjoy it? What do others think of their cooking?

Main Verse: Nyla could survive on her own if need be, but because she’s aligned with the Order, she usually does not make her own meals unless away from her regiment or on some solo mission. In short she is adequate.

Light Side Au: Corryn can cook decently. She’s actually better at baking and likes to surprise her friends and fellow Resistance members with something sweet every now and then. Most people would say she can make a good enough meal.

18. What’s their favourite genre of: books, music, tv shows, films, video games and anything else

Main Verse: (gonna sound edgy but...) everything dark and macabre honestly. In a modern setting, Nyla would be all into horror and the supernatural.

Light Side Au: Corry enjoys action, adventure, mystery and comedy. She would be a fan of classic NES games and other pop culture phenomenon.

21. Do they have a temper? Are they patient? What are they like when they do lose their temper?

Main Verse: Yes and no. Nyla’s secret is that she’s always seething. Unlike another dark sider, she’s gotten very good at masking it and keeping it under control. Nyla understands that there is a time and place for such anger- too much freedom will turn her into a loose canon. So in her right mind she is very selective about when and how she displays her anger. When she is angered enough, nothing is off limits; no words, no actions. The juxtaposition between her level persona and her rage induced state is incredible. It makes her all the more terrifying.

Light Side Au: Corry can get a bit of a temper now and again. It’s nothing like that of her dark side self, but it can still be destructive in its own right. She’s been known to dig deep and say things that she knows will shut others up; ie something that might negatively resonate with someone. As she’s continuing to grow and learn, she’s always trying to develop more patience and finding healthier ways to express her anger.

24. What is their sleeping pattern like? Do they snore? What do they like to sleep on? A soft or hard mattress?

Main Verse: Nyla only sleeps when it is required. (kinda like Leo Di Vinci) She has her own unique circadian rhythm. Some periods of time she gets adequate sleep. Other times she’s awake for days. Nyla’s silent breathing can be heard if listened closely, she prefers some level of comfort so a mattress in between soft and hard.

Light Side Au: Depending on what’s going on in the Resistance determines Corry’s sleeping habits. She could be well rested some nights and then running on two-four hours other nights; nothing a good cup or twelve of caf can’t fix. She totally snores (nothing loud just noticeable. Mara can attest to it) and because of her sensory thing she likes soft things

27. What makes them sad? Do they cry regularly? Do they cry openly or hide it? What are they like they are sad?

Main Verse: The last time Nyla cried was when she was 10. So...I mean. As an adult, she doesn’t feel or experience sorrow the same way as she did in her youth. Things are just repressed before they can even be processed in real time.

Light Side Au: The thought of never reuniting with her parents makes her sad. The thought of losing the war against the First Order makes her sad. The possibility of her friends and comrades dying makes her sad. Corry just feels a lot, okay? And while she’s not overly emotional, she will cry if she’s worked up enough and at that point she doesn’t care if people are around. She gets quiet and distant when she’s sad.

30. Do they exercise? Regularly? Or only when forced? What do they act like pre-work out and post-work out?

Main Verse: Nyla exercises pretty regularly (when she’s not in the middle of a mission that is). She’s very focused pre-work out and likes to tune out most things. She focuses only on herself and improvement. After work out, she’s calmer than usual and almost in a bit of a daze.

Light Side Au: Corryn tries to exercise regularly, but sometimes other things come up that are more important. She tries to be happy and positive before working out so she doesn’t give up halfway due to effort. Post work out, she’s tired and needs a shower and a nap tbh.

33. What underwear do they wear? Boxers or briefs? Lacey? Comfy granny panties?

Main Verse: Nyla wears bikini style and sometimes hipsters.

Light Side Au: Corry wears hipsters and boyshorts most of the time. O my god corry you so gay

36. What are they good at? What hobbies do they like? Can they sing?

Main Verse: Well Nyla is good at murder. Not sure if that’s a hobby exactly...she is an exceptional duelist (her warrior training on Mandalore helped prepare her for this). She is also a very gifted psychometrist and performer of other dark Force powers; force storm, drain knowledge, memory walk, etc. I would pay to see Nyla sing.

Light Side Au: Corryn is good at absorbing a lot of information in a small period of time. She is skilled with her lightsaber as well as Light side Force powers; battle meditation, Force concealment, Force protection, etc. Corryn isn’t a bad singer, of course when she’s drunk it is truly a spectacle. When sober she can carry a tune.

39. Do they like letters? Or prefer emails/messaging?

Main Verse: Nyla prefers holo messages. Gets the point across much faster and usually more effective (her methods are beyond brutal).

Light Side Au: Corryn prefers letters because they are more personal. Growing up, she did her best to preserve her writing so she would never forget her mother tongue.

42. What are their goals? What would they sacrifice anything for? What is their secret ambition?

Main Verse: Nyla wants power and control and she’s willing sacrifice her humanity for it. Her secret ambition is to kill her dark side master and take his place. But beyond that, Nyla desires to extend her reach beyond the First Order and to become the most powerful and formidable entity in the galaxy.

Light Side Au: Corryn wants to become a self actualized Jedi Knight (grey jedi later). She would sacrifice herself for the Resistance and for her friends. It’s not a secret ambition, but Leia is currently helping her rise the military ranks so that she can become a well respected leader and teacher.

45. How do other people see them? Is it similar to how they see themselves?

Main Verse: People see Nyla as cruel, evil and diabolical. She can’t exactly dispute any of it and quite frankly she doesn’t care. She knows what she is and she revels in the darkness.

Light Side Au: Most people think Corryn is a sweet girl determined to do the right thing. Sometimes she has self doubt but then she is reminded of who she is by result of her actions and feedback from those she fights alongside.

48. Do they enjoy any parties? If so what kind? Do they organise the party or just turn up? How do they act? What if they didn’t want to go but were dragged along by a friend?

Main Verse: Nyla would rather not. She only attends gatherings because it is expected from someone of her position. It’s all political and even she must save face and play along with the hierarchy of the Order.

Light Side Au: Corryn enjoys smaller parties because too much going on overloads her senses. If it’s with people she likes and trusts then she’s bound to let loose and have a great time. If the party is huge then the poor kid becomes a wallflower.

#erranston #oc questions #omg so man quenchons #nida we are even now lolololo #oh man i'm putting these under a read more because it's a lot and i get wordy af #sorry guys #XD #errantson

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lady-nevermore · 7 years

Text

Third Session Part 2 (aka the things I forgot to include).

June 6, 2017

Meh....(this is starting to feel like a broken record/feels somewhat redundant and I’ve started to notice/become hella conscious of the fact: of how much i use the word “I” in these therapy-blogs....feeling hella self-conscious that ppl will start to think I’m hella obnoxiously: selfish, egotistical or something). >_>; .....But Anyways......

Ah yes, I remember now, well I remember telling my therapist how I tend to Separate my thoughts from how I’m feeling.....in other words when I’m feeling an emotion that I find to be too intense/overwhelming at the moment and don’t wanna deal with, I tend to avoid, bury and not think about what I’m feeling and vice versa, and just feel cold/numb.....I told my therapist that it was my coping mechanism so to speak......My therapist says that, that is really unhealthy, and that we’ll start to find another, healthier way for me to cope that isn’t me burying/repressing my emotions like that. <---- Dunno Why I felt I needed to write this down, but I do feel like it could be important for later on.

We Also talked about If I ever got the chance to say goodbye to my old Mentor/Friend, Obi-Wan and that he was the first loss/death (of someone i knew personally) that I ever experienced.....I told her (My Therapist), that I wasn’t like at his deathbed or anything when he passed away, but that I did say goodbye to him in 2010 in person, when I was 18, during my Graduation of AHS High......The last words he said to me before giving me a bear-hug, was that He was Proud of me, and that “I was gonna be fine”.......You know it’s funny, (and I haven’t even told my therapist this yet, I’ll have to remember to tell her later on) but that was the first time anyone (from well a parental-figure at least) has ever really said that they were “Proud of me”.....And I remember at age 18, feeling so damn overwhelmed (it was heartwarming really) ......and it’s not that I’m blaming my parents or anything like that......it’s just that in our family we tend to not really express a lot of our emotions, ‘Tis not really in our nature.....hell I get like hella uncomfortable/awkward whenever I cry in front of somebody, let alone seeing others cry in front of me.......But anyways, that’s beside the point, The Last words Obi-Wan said to me, face to face, was that “I was going to be fine”, and then I said good-bye, but He told me that this wasn’t good-bye, and he made me promise to come back and visit him at my old alma-mater AHS High, and I promised him I would............And dammit, I was 19 in 2011 (you see, it was during 2011, the day I created this tumblr blog and a year shortly after I graduated/and I was attending Community College) I tried, I really did try to stop by and visit, but he was out that day, off work, for a Chemotherapy treatment.....I heard the news via facebook, that he died a few months, shortly afterwards.....I promised to visit him, and even though I tried, a part of me still feels like I low-key sort of failed him in keeping that promise. *sigh*

I also told my Therapist that I don’t like feeling forced/obligated in doing things.....the more I’m forced/feel obligated/ coerced to do something, the more I internally rebel (example going to church when I was a youngling, aka when I was more an atheist/agnostic and against the idea of being immensely religiously Catholic like the rest of my family/extended family, this includes my Aunt C)....Things have changed, and even though I pride myself, and prefer to being tolerant, liberal-minded, open-minded, I’ve come to terms with trying to have an open-mind, and thereby get close to God (cause Obi-wan was quite a spiritual/ religious guy and In someway I sorta wanna feel connected to him) and in being semi-religious/agnostic and trying to get in touch in having/attempting to have faith again (spiritually at least......after all I’m absolutely fascinated and love learning about lore, myths, other cultures and their mythologies/religions, and spiritual beliefs) and so far..... I feel a sense of peace, soooo so far so good?......But .Yeah trust me I know I’m stubborn......But yeah, If I’m gonna do something it’s going to be on my terms, because I wanted to.

I also told my Therapist that there were moments , in the past, where I felt really exhausted always feeling like I need to be perfect (the perfect student, the teacher’s pet, living up to the expectations that my parents, teachers and even old high-school friends had of me, not to mention my own personal high expectations that I held against myself)....My Therapist says I need to figure out who I want be and what I want do with my life, but that it’s important that it’s via “on my own terms”. ....I Told her that might be sorta difficult because I have a really hard time with being/or feeling uncertain or dealing with changes in life....but that I can, at the very least acknowledge and recognize that, that is always gonna be a part of, and how life just is.

I also told her that I have had, and probably still have a hard time when it comes to emotionally reaching out to family, friends, people.....because it makes me feel “trapped/obligated” into the commitment of emotionally putting myself out there and emotionally investing myself into a relationship.....and I told her that I try to fight against this anxious feeling in spite of it telling me otherwise (probably has something to do with my trust issues), and that I’m also not sure if this becuase I’m an introvert (because I do feel exhausted when dealing with a huge group of people, socializing....unless I really trust and really know them, and even then it still takes a lot of my energy...tend to prefer quieter moments to myself or with a few seldom people in order to recharge.

My therapist also told me something that rings quite true to me (cause my old Mentor Obi-Wan used to say the same thing); “To control what you can control, Don’t try to control what you can’t”......In other words: Try to choose and be in control of how I choose to respond/react to things/situations that give me anxiety and the like, rather than allowing that anxious feeling to overtake and control how I react/feel. Gonna try really hard to keep that in mind.

We talked a bit about how my old high-school friends really meant the world to me (that they were a really bright light in my life), and that includes Obi-Wan’s Wife, let’s call her: Lady Obi-Wan, who has such a gentle and kind soul, and whom is someone I really trust, and that is someone (that is if I ever get better or feel ready in the future to face her and a slew other of old faces) that I sort of still to want to reconnect with, but we’ll see...I did tell me therapist that i feel ashamed/guilty that i turned my back on them/cut them out of my life......but that I dunno if I’m truly blaming myself for my actions or If I should be blaming my depression for causing me to make that choice......It wasn’t something I’m proud of me.....my old-high school friends deserved better than that, but at the same time I can’t help but feel like we (most of us) were sort of already drifting apart there in the end, after all they all went and gone to college, made their own lives, and we all parted ways.......I told my therapist lke I sometimes feel like I’m sorta stuck in the past.......and that I would find it easier, and would love nothing more than to just let go of the past and start/begin anew.....And even though on some level that’s already what I’m doing now via going to therapy, making friends here on tumblr, I may still want to face old faces of my past and at the very least explain and owe them an apology, and maybe, just maybe pluck up the courage to reconnect with a few old friends (at the very least Lady Obi-Wan and a few others). But we’ll see....dunno if I even ready to face that slew of confrontations. *sigh* ......Welp, If anything, I’ve learned a great deal from these past experiences, and I’ve personally vowed to at least try harder in trying to not distant myself, and to cherish and keep my current tumblr-friendships, here on tumblr, and any future friendships I make in the future (after all if there’s anything I value high above anything else it’s: friendship, camaraderie and loyalty), and I also vowed to never repeat the same mistakes (regardless of my anxiety/depression/issues telling me, to flee, or otherwise), lest I tarnish my word and may never be willing to forgive myself for betraying another set of friends.

*Side-Note*: One thing I haven’t told my therapist yet, is that whenever my social anxiety/anxiety acts up (or when I’m having a hard time in expressing myself, especially verbally), it causes me to appear (in real-life): Snobbish, stand-offish, cold, or worse annoyingly pushy, and high-strung, .........and these are things/aspects of myself that I sometimes still have/behave as, but were waaaaaay more prevalent when I was a dumb-teenager, that tbh, I have never really liked and low-key hate about myself....And it is something that I’m consciously trying to work on and am trying to not appear or behave/act like that.

I’ve told my Therapist that I’m writing down my experiences in therapy here on this Tumblr blog, and that I have a few online (tumblr friends)....She says that that is a good idea (in order to help keep track of my progress) and she sorta jotted down the name of the site: tumblr.....and I’m not gonna lie, but I sorta got low-ley nervous/paranoid about that.....but ah well. lol ^^;

*Things to Keep in Mind* She told me to keep going with my breathing exercises (there were a few days I’ve sorta forgot this past week, mostly cause of Jay’s Graduation/Me trying to find her the perfect gift...But I’ma try to stick with it regardless)....Oh, right and to try to write/jot down what situation I think is causing me to feel anxious/depressed/melancholy during the that moment.

*sigh* Why do these always feel like it takes ages for me articulate, forge and to write.....probably cause I tend to overfocus/be hella meticulous about even the tiniest of details.....(need to learn how to chill and pace myself). meh xP

Anyways, I swear If I forgot anything else, which knowing me I probably did, I’ll try to remember to include it in the next therapy-session blog....My next session isn’t till June 19, so in the meantime, I’ll continue my “Letters to No One” Side Therapy- blogs, aka the blogs where I anonymously write letters to my old high school friends, mentors, or people I knew from the past but not actually send them (in order to vent, reminisce, letting go of the past, look back on fondly, decipher and figure out situations and myself from the past, etc).

Links of my personal journey of going through therapy, & other personal things:

Therapy Blogs (My Main Journey of going through Therapy).

Letters to No One (Therapy Side-Blogs).

Tumblr Surveys (Personal stuff If You want to get know more about me).

Extra Links (If I’m not on Tumblr, I’m usually on here, so add me if you wish):

My Twitter

My Anime Page List

Anyways, thanks for listening my dears! (^-^)b

And thank you two: @angelotics and @theamazingflyinglion , for the moral support thus far, as well as for our lovely little chats, you guys have no idea how much they really help and mean to me *hugs you both* :)

- Lady Nevermore

#therapy #Third Session #part 2 #stuff I forgot to include #therapy blog

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zkklaus · 5 years

Text

Story (version 2.1)

A youth walked on the road, and there was a cry from the top of the head:" Be careful! "As soon as the young man looked up, a flower pot fell on his head. The youth fell to the ground.

Open the eyes again, the youth found himself standing in the middle of a queue in an old dim hall, everyone lined up, quietly moving forward slowly. There are two exits in the hall, with two posters hanging beside. On a poster, people happily sat on the train to the fields and villages. On the other poster, people rowed a small boat on the sea in the rain, and some people covered their faces and wept.

At the forefront of the team, there is an administrator. After a short chat with everyone, he will look at a thick book in his hand and check something, after that, people will walk through a scanner and there will be a number "0" show above their heads. People with red 0 on their heads will go to the exit to take the train, and people with grey 0 on their heads will go to the exit to take the boat.

It's the youth's turn, and he asks the administrator, "Where is this place?"

"Paradise station."

"Paradise? Am I dead?"

"Yes." The administrator pointed at the book in his hand. "This is the death book. It says when you were 75 years old..." He looked up and looked at the young man, obviously not 75 years old.

"75 years old? I am only 30 now."

"Hmm... maybe something went wrong. Come, walk through the scanner."

The youth walked through the scanner, the number over his head is not "0", but a large number, 1420062840, in grey.

The administrator frowned. "According to your personal record, you should go to the sea, but... obviously you haven't reached 75 years old as recorded here. So, you should go there." The administrator pointed the end of the darkness aisle of the hall.

The young man walked on the dark corridor with a little afraid, and the dim light reflected the iron gate at the end of the aisle. The heavy iron gate needs to be pushed open with a big strength, and a squeaky sound came with it. There was no light in the room, and nothing can be seen. The young man took a deep breath and stretched out his arms to find out what was around him. He carefully moved forward little by little. The iron gate behind him was heavily closed, and the floor under the young man's feet was empty, he kept falling.

The young man opened his eyes and found himself lying on the street surrounded by many passengers. He scratched his head and looked at the chopped flower pot next to him and then sat up. The people found him seemed to be okay and gradually dispersed.

The young man stood up, looked up and found that the grey numbers over his head was still there and were slowly decreasing. Countdown! It is the countdown! The young man turned on the calculator in the phone, using the 1420062648 to do the math, 45 years, 30+45=75. This is the countdown of his life!

But why are the numbers grey? The people going to the fields and villages all had red numbers. Only those who go to the sea to be beaten by the wind and the ice rain, their numbers are grey. Can I turn my grey numbers into red?

While thinking about everything that happened at the Heaven Station, the young man took out the cigarette from his pocket, lit it, and took a deep breath. After such an incredible experience, he urgently needed to use cigarettes to calm down and relax. However, while smoking, he saw that the countdown over his head was rapidly decreasing. He was scared and throw the cigarette on the ground and to extinguish it with his shoes.

That's terrible! The countdown is not constant! Anything you do will affect the length of life.

Since smoking affects the length of life, then what about drinking? While thinking about it, the young man took out his mobile phone and decide to cancel the appointment with a few friends. He planned to go to KTV to sing and drink overnight, but now he immediately called and said that he was sorry he can't make it. Hang up the phone and find that the countdown over the head added more than 3,000 seconds.

As expected, the length of life can be controlled by myself.

This week, young people began to pursue a green lifestyle. He cleaned up the food in the refrigerator, and half of the fried chicken and pizza were thrown into the trash can, and the beers were sent away. He went to a fitness club and exercise regularly, and ate fitness meals. This week's change is obvious, and the countdown is gradually extended, which makes the youth very happy. However, when the youth forced himself to eat the fitness meal, which was healthy and balanced but unpalatable and hard to swallow, the grey colour of the countdown became darker.

Why did I make so many health-improving changes, but the colour did not turn red even a little bit? The youth was very upset. The father's phone call came in, and the young man picked up the mobile phone. This is the fifth phone call in the past two days. After his parents divorced, he always hated that his father soon had a new family, and his father did not care about him and mom.

When he graduated from college a few years ago, he invited both his parents to attend his graduation ceremony. This is a wish since his childhood. Because of the separation of parents, he hopes to take this opportunity to make the family a chance to meet. On the day of the graduation ceremony, only his mother came to participate. He waited for his father for a whole day, but his father did not appear. So in the photo on that day of the graduation ceremony, there were only him and his mother, his squeezed a smile, but his eyes were full of desolate. After that, the father did not even call or congratulated him on his graduation. So he hasn't spoken to his father for years, and now he just ignores father's call.

When he got off work the next day, when he got out of the company, he saw his father standing at the door waiting for him. They went to the cafe and sat down. The young man tapped his phone and looked out the window. After a long time, his father started to talk.

Gently, father told him that he had diagnosed liver cancer in the hospital a few days ago, there wasn't much time for him, but there were still many things to worry about. There are many things he has not had time to do, or he has not made up for it. He was very regretful. In particular, the relationship with his son has been very stiff over the years. He wants to reconcile with his son and untie the knots of each other.

"So why didn't you come to my graduation ceremony?"

"I went to your ceremony that day."

"You came? Why didn't I see you?"

"I saw you wearing a bachelor's suit and taking pictures with your mother on the lawn. I hesitated. I do not go forward. I am afraid that you don't want to see me, it will make your happy graduation ceremony unhappy."

The youth was silent.

The young man found out the proud and vigorous father has now become so weak pity, the youth felt sorrow and hold his father's hands. Father and son looked each other in the eyes, all these years' hatred all vanished.

Suddenly, the numbers overhead began to change, and the colour changed from grey to reddish grey.

The colour has changed!

"I don't have much time, I feel that there are many regrets in my life that have not been counteracted. You are still young, you must not live like me, you can't allow regrets accompany your life."

The father's words hit the youth. Everyone who goes to the fields and villages is so confident and optimistic that you can see the light in their eyes. On the other hand, those who were exiled to the sea were all grey and full of regrets and remorse. So, the red represents...maybe happiness or a sense of accomplishment.

I have never dared to take risks since I was a child. Everything I did was based on the advice of the people around me, I always did the most secure plan, as if I have never tried hard to fight for anything. In fact, I used to have something I really wanted to pursue, but I was afraid of failure and never act, and I really kept a lot of regrets.

My father started to make up for regrets till he knew he doesn't have much time. What about me? I have already died once, but I have just realized that I still have a lot of opportunities to make up for my regrets. It's never too late!

The youth has always wanted to participate in the Hugo Award, which is the most famous science fiction award. He was writing a novel a few years ago, but only finished the first few chapters. Due to busy work, this story has been put on hold for years. Every year, once the deadline is over, the young people will fantasize if he could have finish writing this story. But he had never did the real work every year.

This year's Hugo Awards deadline is due in one week, and this time the youth wants to finish this half-written novel. In order to complete this novel on time, he took all the time to write. Every day after work, he put himself in writing, and there was no time for him to go to the gym. He bought some takeaway food on the way home every day, as long as easy to feed himself. He would also order the fried chicken and pizza in the late night. He barely sleeps every day, writing overnight, in order to keep himself awake, he started to smoke again, and smoke a lot. The healthy lifestyle he achieved not long ago is now becoming unhealthy and irregular again, and the countdown over his head is rapidly decreasing. But the youth don't care now, because he knows what he really wants to pursue, even if life is reduced.

After a crazy busy week, the youth finally completed his novel before the deadline. He read his novel happily, and his eyes were full of joy. At the moment he clicked the mouse and sent out the novel, the countdown over his head turned out to be red more.

After that, the youth does everything followed his most sincere choices from the heart, no longer fear the difficulties, and is willing to try all kinds of new things that he could not think of before. The countdown numbers over the head sometimes become more, sometimes less, but the colour is always reddening. Until a few months later, the countdown suddenly disappeared.

52 years later...

The young man once again came to the paradise station, but this time, he is already an 82-year-old man. The administrator still looks the same as decades ago. He smiled to the administrator and said hello, walked through the scanner, the number over the head is 0 now. The colour, it is really red. He doesn't have to go to the sea as his previous destiny. He can go to the beautiful world and take the train to the fields and villages to enjoy eternal happiness.

He set foot on the train, and the people on the train were chatting and laughing happily. He looked out the window, the breeze dabbed the fields in the distance and turned the waves of wheat. He looked at the window, on it reflected his wrinkled face. He was happy. He could finally enjoy eternal happiness. However, there was a little uncertainty in his heart, and his brow slightly wrinkled.

"Di di di", the moment that train door closed, he jumped off the train. He feels that life is never enough for him, there are still many things he has not tried, and he is not afraid.

He pushed the rusty iron door at the end of the dark corridor and walked in with firm steps...

Someone is fondling his head and whispering in his ear. In the cry of a baby, he opened his eyes.

(end)

#story

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