#also she's always perceiving me ???
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can i just talk about one of my favourite pearl images?
technically two BUT I LOVE THEM. why?
aimsey is 4'11, and pearl is 6'0. in the first picture, aimsey is leaning on pearl's shoulder. either aimsey is standing on a box [sadly, i doubt it] or pearl is just CROUCHING DOWN ?????
also the second picture looks like pearl is once again crouching down to be level with aimsey, WHO SHE'S OVER A FOOT TALLER THAN 😭😭😭
they're just generally silly PLUS THEY LOOK SO HAPPY and i love their duo sm. like genuinely such an underrated duo and i wish we could get more interactions
my favourite pearl and aimsey interaction has to be valentine's day. pearl was streaming and it was late night for her [usual stream time] but for aimsey it was more late afternoon
aimsey comes into chat and xey just shout to pearl how they're going to do pottery with guqqie and pearl got so excited for him and asked to see it iirc
it was just such a genuinely sweet moment !!
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this part is unrelated to aimsey but pearl is just such a sweet person. i've extremely active in her chat and give bits every stream. my first stream i gave bits i talked about my unexplained chronic illness
do you want to know what she did?
she gave me a minute long message that still makes me cry to this day. i genuinely can't watch it bc i just instantly start crying
also yes she called me gaspie chat which is so funny to me. nowadays she calls me gasp or gasps but i do miss the gaspie chat day /hj
anyway, during last night's stream i talked about how i'm FINALLY going to get answers. after two years of constant sickness, i'm going to potentially get answers soon
she was so happy for me and hoped that i could finally get my answers soon before asking to give updates if i was comfortable
pearl is genuinely the nicest person i've ever seen in this community and her community shows that too. everyone is so kind to everyone that it's like taking a breath of fresh air
sorry [not really] for the big, rambling post, but i needed to say this
#pearlescentmoon#mcyt#aimsey#also she's always perceiving me ???#bc i'm so active she just remembers things about me ????#like you're not meant to do that#unknow those things#i'm beaming a forget laser into her brain /j#[also pearl if you do see this know that you perceiving me doesn't make me uncomfy!]#[it is just a silly bit i have with myself]
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had a conversation last week with a 10 year old girl about the s5 finale and i can’t stop thinking about it. she said nathalie is the best because she loves adrien enough to lie to him about his father so that he stays happy. completely convinced that emilie was resurrected at the end and shocked when i suggested otherwise. i’ve been dying to know what the children think happened and it’s so interesting
#anna rambles#ml s5#ml season 5#ml#i personally don’t think that adrien’s gonna find out anything in future seasons#which to me feels unsatisfying#but it’s interesting that (from my sample size of one child) maybe the kids would see that as a good thing#it felt to me like the show was framing it as a good thing at least#so it would be interesting to find out how more of the (young) target audience perceived it#bc i feel like most of the adult fans i’ve seen online assume that adrien will find out or at least would find it unsatisfying if he didnt#when i asked if she thought it could’ve been amelie at the end her jaw dropped and she said ‘no because he’s always down there talking#about how he’s gonna bring his wife back! he says it all the time and that’s what he did!’#& i was like. girl yeah you’re right😭 that is also what i thought when i saw it😭#anyway I need to talk to more kids about ml. for science
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My unpopular opinion is that in languages with grammatical gender like french, it does make sense for Murderbot to be referred to by whatever pronoun is usually used for robots or constructs. (In french, therefore, grammatical masculine.) Because there are no traditional « it » pronouns in these languages for objects, and while there are neo-pronouns, they are things one must choose for themselves. Do you honestly think MB actually spent time thinking about its pronouns?! No it didn’t. On forms it picks « non-applicable ». When people ask it what pronouns they should use, its honest opinion is « why do you even need to talk about me. Just don’t fucking do that. Don’t think about me either. Just fucking stop perceiving me altogether! »
Thinking about what pronouns to use probably makes it way more uncomfortable than letting people call it what they’ve already been calling it. Making a conscious choice about its identity? And telling other people about it??? No thanks bye, it’s just gonna walk into the ocean now, see you never.
Lbr it probably thinks the only bots that get fancy pronouns are comfort units, and the pronouns are probably shoved into them by humans same as everything else. MB would meet a bot using a neopronoun and it would wish it could barf. Because in a language like french, he/him and she/her, when applied to objects, ARE fulfilling the function of the english « it ». Nobody is saying the table is a woman or related to feminity in any way outside of stand-up comedy; when it comes to objects grammatical gender really has fuckall to do with human gender even if we use the same words. Even animal species names have grammatical gender and everyone gets that there are male and female turtles even if the word « turtle » is a female word, it’s not that confusing.
(I know this is strange when your language has different pronouns for people and for objects, but understand that english uses the same word to indicate if I’m addressing one or many people, and that is confusing to me.)
TL;DR; stop harassing international fans for not getting the correct MB pronoun in english right off the bat. Yes in english calling it « he » or « her » or « them » is upsetting because it’s projecting an identity unto it. But same goes for trying to get a foreign language translation to use a pronoun intended to express or showcase an identity (or even a lack of one!). Murderbot has not thought about it this hard, refuses to think about it this hard -> and that is its only canon accurate gender identity.
#the murderbot diaries#taking a bat to an hornet’s nest there but I said what I said#I go by she/her because that’s the default people use for me even tho my own gender identity is also#ugh I would sincerely prefer not to have to deal with this think about it or even be perceived#and I would be hella pissed if a book of my life came out and people got into fights about my pronouns#trying to assign me the most politically accurate agender pronoun possible#when my own choice has always been specifically to let people call me the default because idc#and I don’t want to be identified by any identifier that might indicate I do care#and using a different pronoun even if its a gender neutral one is a CHOICE!#it does indicate a preference! and caring about it enough to pick a word and tell people about it!!!#Murderbot didn’t pick IT that is specifically the point!#it was used for it and MB just kept going with that#I mean imagine it if wrote down a different pronoun on its ID form one day and someone actually called it that#it would set itself on fire#its discomfort at having made a personal choice and the personal choice being respected would be off the charts#maybe it a later book after hella character development but I just don’t see it happening tbh#respect the agenders who just don’t want to get involved and use the pronoun equivalent of the default avatar that came with the account#PLEASE#that is all
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At a point in my life where coming off as racially ambiguous is bothering me bc I want to be proudly Arab more than ever before
#like I get how w my name (which I love & would never trade for the world but I still get that it’s not an Arabic name)#which is fine bc it doesn’t have to be for it to fit me. cianna is so delightful and pretty and unique no matter the origins.#& w my looks. which I recognize are not the stereotypical way ppl would perceive arab people maybe#that ppl would be thrown off. but people have projected every race ever onto me before guessing I’m Arab and I think that’s insane#I don’t get why people are always surprised bc I genuinely don’t think it’s that hard of a conclusion to arrive at#my sister is LICHERALLY a redhead.#my mom is a blonde.#not all Arabs look a certain way it’s not that deep#I would never change my name or how I look like. all these things suit me like nothing else#but I’m not white I’m not mixed I’m not Latina. I’m Arab. period#it also feels like Arab erasure lowkey but I’m trying not to interpret it aggressively#I don’t want people to argue w me about my arabness based on how I look like or what I was named. I’m Arab bc I am?? that is all.#ANYWAY I relate to Nancy Ajram bc English first name and Arabic surname gang. and racially ambiguous. n yet she’s still THE Arab pop queen#p
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Anyways. Academy era designs
#koschei has curlier hair normally but this is drawn in an era where he’s NAWT taking care of himself so his hair hasn’t been washed in like#a week#I draw him with his hands bruised up from rapping the back of his hands in beat with the drums btw#and the eye bags because he CANT sleep with that racket in his head#also. theta has a lot of freckles and moles and koschei sometimes gets a pen and connects them like a connect the dots#just trust me alright trust me so hard#theta has a body that we’d call afab but theta’s always been more comfortable with male centric terms so everyone just perceives him as a m#although I so she/he theta. theta she/he truth#but pronouns ≠ gender so it’s okay#anyways anyways#thoschei#doctor who academy era#koschei oakdown#theta sigma#doctor who#the deca#(well. two of them)#aura’s posts#our art#idk how long the academy has people for like what age they graduate but they’re meant to be the timelord equivalent of like 18ish here#heaven’s art<3#no one talk abt my Gallifreyen. just don’t even
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can you elaborate on gender with the twelfth doctor... im spinning she/her pronouns for twelve around in my head so much it gives me life. even if you dont feel like/dont have any further elaboration i want to thank you for introducing me to that concept
because she's a girl...? i don't understand the question she's just a girl
#i am being facetious; thank you very much for the kind ask!#real answer is that pronouns can be kind of an aesthetic choice#like a new outfit or haircut#and it's a choice i could see the doctor making#i think the doctor is always sort of apathetic about gender regardless of the body they're in#and will go by whatever pronouns people perceive them by because it saves time#and why waste time explaining their gender when they could be talking about the planets .#so calling themself a 'man' or a 'woman' is for the sake of not confusing their human companions who care more about that sort of thing#than they do rather than actually seeing themself that way#and i can also see them feeling a sort of joy if friends were to refer to them with pronouns that don't match their perceived gender#because it shows a deeper understanding of who they are#again i think this regardless of body; i think ten would happily respond to she/her pronouns or thirteen with he/him etc etc#but twelve sticks out to me so much a.) because she's my favorite#and b.) because i think she cares the least about what other people think of her#doctor who#delia.txt
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must be nice, being free for once
#character here is asuka from branch-wdk53#art#zoom in for some details :3 especially the lineart and with her face#i had to retroactively add the little chess pieces bc i drew her hands and was like. ok. what the fuck is she doing#so something here about being able to control others persnaps... with the red shoes' power and all#also liking her updated hair :3 specifically with this ego it makes me think of her like not maintaining it totally#or letting it grow out since she wouldnt care about how shes perceived - like a red shoes possessed agent wouldnt#this is more corroded-y than just her with the ego but yknow. the themes etc#i could see it happening to her considering how often she gets fucked over by the world#wanting to take agency and just do whatever she likes for a time#the perspective here was all just fuck it we ball i literally used 0 references for this. sometimes i just Do That i guess lol#also! the lineart colors come from some just like. making it all a little bluer type stuff#but i also inverted the whole color layer and put it on top and was like. oh thats awesome#since i just selected everything outside of the lineart for the base coloring layer#it also went into the lineart and made some cool stuff with the parts that were or werent colored behind the lines#i will always find a way to have 20 tags on every piece of art i make o7
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#the way people perceive you changing the way you perceive yourself and vice versa is very important in this show. especially the last arc.#also. the way utena always looks so fucking sad after she's been with akio.. ouch#she's so uncomfortable but never knows how to verbalise it. and doesn't want to anyway because she thinks it's her own fault#and juri being the one who notices... very important to me. i want to write something about their friendship at some point#revolutionary girl utena#parallels#utena#akio#juri#miki#m#akio and utena#all girls are like the rose bride
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I was painting and the religious-fanatic teacher came to me and started asking questions about my work. I answered them and I was ready to go on with my day and she goes "we used to talk more when you were well..."
And I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at her like "wtf" because lady you are under 2 wrong assumptions here:
I would let YOU of all people be aware of my mental state or personal life or anything that concerns ME at all.
That we had some kind of amicable relationship to begin with? No, I don't know how you got the wrong impression since I just ever talked to you after I disagreed with your views, criticized you and almost fought with you because you said something both incredibly stupid and triggering... just because I've kept things civil doesn't mean I don't consider you anything other than a pretentious asshole.
The audacity of this woman, to think she can come to me and act all motherly and attentive while trying to get her nose in my personal life while bringing up a past bond which never fricking existed????? What like do you miss our disagreements???
And I just told her, "But... I'm good tho" which is not 100% true, but that's none of her business anyway
And she goes "yeah but you were even better"
BITCH????? No I wasn't? I'm not doing super now but I've vastly improved since last year so idk are you tripping or something???? And then she says something else about my work and keeps talking to me and I'm being civil and cordial because I'm not a rude asshole even if he doesn't even deserve this courtesy for the way she treats us.
Idk what's wrong with her, like she thinks I'm some kind of "problematic kidTM" for the way I look who needs salvation?? Which is not true, I don't need you as a mother. I already have a loving family and friends. Thank you and get the hell away from me????
And even if I were looking for someone's help for anything, I would NEVER in a hundred thousand years go to her for it. Not even for a broken nail lol.
She would probably tell me to go to church and confess or some shit. She already told me to call a confessor for my grandma because she had a little accident when she heard me talking about it with someone else... fkn hell.
#the art school adventures are back#she makes me irrationally angry#steel rambles#I hate it when people assume things about me#and when they try to get close when I've made it clear I don't want them to#because fucking hell I know how it plays out and these people ever have goog intentions even if they think they do#becaus eyou don't force someone to get close to you#it either happens ornit doesn't#also because these peopel try to get close to me WHILE assuming wrong things about me so I just can't have normal interactions#because they're just so fucking certain they understood how I function and even having a heart to heart conversation doesn't do shit#they just can't see me as anything else#and it makes me fucking angry too because I hate being misunderstood but I also can't let the people understand me#because then I'm too vulnerable to them and their manipulation#so idk I guess I prefer being perceived as a “problematic youth” instead of letting her any closer because fuck no she gives me the creeps.#or bad vibes#yeah creeps is too strong of a word#honestly I'm tired of fighting and always feeling on the edge#and it doesn't get easier#or better#but i hate it.
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realising something bad about someone that means the world to you should be illegal. id like to live blindly actually
#ive been tiptoeing around this realisation for a WHILE now but today was the first time i actually verbatim in my head#went 'i dont like living with my mum'. and the moment i thought it was like no nooononono lets NOT do that#like objectively my mum is my favourite person in the world and i love her more than every other person in my life combined#but LIVING with her in HER HOUSE is just not... it. and it makes me feel awful for even thinking it bc that's her biggest fear#that we're gonna grow up to have the same relationship that she had with her mum and that ISNT what's happening like i could never#be distant from my mum in fact the reason she has such a chokehold on me is BECAUSE there's so much love there#but it would still break her heart to know i felt this way and i just feel so shitty for it. but like? i CANT relax here#like the thing that made me think it this morning wasn't even an explosive thing like it usually is with her#like every shouting screaming argument we've had ive just taken it. but then this morning when nothing exceptional happened#i was just. done. so basically i told u guys she wanted me to hoover today and already yelled about it YESTERDAY which. whatever#and she goes out every thurdsay until lunchtime and i think ive said on here before that the days we're home alone are HUGE flashpoints#bc if she comes home and perceives that not enough chores have been done/one thing has been done wrong she just hits the ROOF#like her temper is entirely disproportional she gives the same energy for the washing up not being put away that another mum would#give for finding drugs in their kids room. ive truly never seen someone maintain a temper like that woman can it's actually impressive#so yeah she was gone this morning and it just always leaves me On Edge it's never a huge thing bc im not SCARED of her but im not relaxed#and i hoovered for an hour and washed up and then also dusted the stairs and did some other tiny irrelevant jobs#and my sister did fuck all. she pulled a sickie off work and stayed in bed while i fussed about what to do with the dogs and shit#and so when my mum came home ig i was expecting some sort of acknowledgement? like not a round of applause#bc obvs it's just chores and the hoovering she literally told me to do but when my sister had been SO unhelpful and it had been#SO on my mind for hours now i was just. waiting for something? and even i didnt know what so it's not even fair#but my mum came home and decided she was in a bad mood and she had a go at my sister for being lazy and not doing the chores she said#she'd do today and she DIDNT yell at me which she sometimes does just do if she's pissed at my sister. but she just got mardy with me?#like she got up and left to go watch TV in her room and i was like 'oh i can watch it with you?' bc sometimes when they row my mum#hints at me and her going somewhere else to bitch about my sister. but she just shook her head and snapped at me for some dumb shit#like TINY shit id missed and then wouldn't even spend time with me and i was just like. are you serious#and THAT was when i had the thought bc i was like there is actually no winning with her temper#and i can never fully relax around her because of it. even when we're getting on she is at any point seconds away from ripping my head off#and it's not nice being around someone like that ALL THE TIME. and i dont mind it when im at uni bc im at my own house in my own life#but when it's HER house and she makes it very clear that it's HER house and we need her and the car if we want to so much as LEAVE#then that's just not a fucking pleasant environment to be in? right? even if it is just me being a baby? ugh idk and i hate this
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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Hey! I love tcba a lot and Mariko is a fantastic character. I just wondered if there was a physical description for her floating around somewhere? I get a very vague picture from how she is written and how other characters perceive her. But aside from “dark brown/bronze hair, usually braided and tidy, probably fairly pretty (?), girl…” I got nothing for her on my head. I ask specifically because I’d really like to try doodling some fanart for her, or find some online somewhere, but that hard to do when I cant actually picture her very well.
If not describing her outright is a preference of yours though, then I completely understand too. Sometimes a lack of POV character description helps with reader immersion and adds to a story.
Just figured I would ask before I went off half-cocked and drew something that doesn’t suit who Mariko is.
wow that would be really sweet of you! (also tysm for loving tcba) @arc-haism drew some awesome art of mariko that's in the 'art for me tag' that you can find on my pinned post, if you'd like.
and there isn't so much of a physical description in the fic, i guess? i put in smaller details throughout, but i'm so burned by the 'my black hair and purple eyes' descriptions of old that i shy from it very strongly haha. it feels very self-indulgent, but i can give it a go now 💪
so we're looking brown hair, which is almost always braided in some fashion for practicality's sake. (i find having hair in my face super annoying, but also in a medical setting that's unsanitary.) for most of the fic it's a braided updo of some kind, but her starter shippuden look has a side-braid that's a little more abt form than function. it's also pretty long? bottom of the ribs in length. brown eyes (at least pre- eyeball shenanigans lmao), paler skin but not sasuke pale and def not sai pale lmao, square-ish to round-ish face shape, strong jaw. and dog teeth!
short-to-average before she hit her growth spurt (which would have been the start of the fic, so she was basically the same height as naruto and sasuke), and here is where i drop her current height as 178cm. based on some of the height charts i've found for shippuden, she's taller than all of her peers, which i think is hilarious. sadly it won't last forever. in terms of her current build, think sprinter.
accessories/clothes: all black all the time, except for when something is gray lol. those mesh shirts p much always, fingerless gloves. otherwise you can kind of go nuts, i've got her in tons of outfits. shippuden has the bell earring, which is the bell test bells, hanging from one ear, that she uses to cast auditory genjutsu.
i hope that's detailed enough? let me know if i didn't answer something you were dying to know abt tho.
#i feel weird saying if she's pretty or not both bc she's an si and bc beauty standards don't always translate#also i'm white and this is a japanese fantasy world so i try not to think too hard abt how the racial component translates#i'll break my brain#by japanese standards i would probably not be v pretty but i do fine w american ones?#and i put it in the fic that she's considered on the masculine leaning side rather than feminine bc of that#too tall and too muscular and too strong-featured for east asian beauty standards#whatever i hate it that ppl perceive me lmao#internet user demands answers#tcba
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On a different note: finally had an idea for a fursona(?) Idk if nekomimi technically counts, but either way, I actually put the cat in catboy this time! The idea being calico but coral and teal because I’m nothing if not on-brand
#art#digital#me#nekomimi#uhhhh not main tagging fursona cause like idk#technically my glasses are Morpheus style cause there’s nothing for the temples to hook onto#admittedly I noticed that like hilariously late and also realized at the same time that#I designed Magolor to be usually wearing a mask and SHE DOESN’T HAVE EARS EITHER#luckily there are other ways to wear masks than just the type I wear but like I didn’t ever THINK about that#oh yeah also I made Magolor and Elfilin minecraft skins but I might try to finish one for my sona too#so I’ll hold off on posting those until it’s done or abandoned#I tried converting the Elfilin one to Elfilis and it did not work out LOL#Not asking for fanart cause at all times I am struggling between wanting to show people my stuff and wanting to never be perceived again#but hey. my boxes are always open if u do
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i don’t understand the Alolan VA at all...so Masters wants me to believe that its version of Lusamine is based on the USUM continuity, but now it’s also telling me that her past goal was to “keep the Ultra Beasts for herself” (??? not even her motivation in USUM) and Faba is still Branch Chief somehow instead of an intern...AND they’re seemingly just redoing the Rainbow Rocket arc as if it never happened??? if they do a swerve and tell me she’s not actually based on USUM continuity at all and is in fact an entirely different Lusamine i’m gonna go nut
#HERE'S HOW THE ALOLAN VILLAIN ARC CAN STILL WIN: have it be that Faba WAS in fact sharing intel with Lusamine#but it turns out that it's the Lusamine from OG SM continuity and that's why USUM Lusamine is like 'well i don't remember that! 🤔'#i doubt they will do this but can you imagine the drama#i do love to see Lusamine being so fucking stupid though. the amount of tolerance she has for Faba's repeated betrayals#versus the betrayals she perceives from her own kids will never not be funny to me#Lusamine: those children have always been conspiring against me! those 11-year-olds mean to RUIN ME!!! WICKED INGRATES#also Lusamine: why yes i trust this sneering rat man with my life#the way that they are EXACTLY OG cartoon Megatron and Starscream#MADAM PRESIDENT LUSAMINE HAS DIED AND NOW I - FABA - AM LEADER OF THE AETHER FOUNDATION
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book review culture is so funny
#getting out of a reading slump like. oh. u all are still so insane!! good to know!!#scrolling thru reviews on goodreads is like fighting 4 ur life#in the roman colosseum. blades drawn. to find even ONE semi-measured take that's not littered w/gifs from the office#caligula jeering from the stands. as u desperately try to find a singular review that is not an 37987439 open mic night standup routine#and the COMMENT sections under some of these reviews jfdhjhfdsjhfdsj#the united nations PRESS CONFERENCE of it all#these bitches are out for BLOOD!!! it's so hilarious I love mess#ppl truly fight 2 the death on that site daily#also. do not even get me started on BOOKTUBE#my GOD jfdshjfdshjdfs#I'm literally only subscribed to one booktuber on yt#her taste in books is SO far removed from my own & I 100% dislike all of her faves#& I trust absolutely ZERO of her book recommendations lmao#like. not a SINGLE one#but her energy is so good. so it doesn't matter#it's larryreads. luv her so v much#I will always tune my ass in as soon as she uploads. I'd watch that woman review a box of oatmeal#everyone else? I do not perceive#sam speaks
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i am actually un diagnosing as autistic due to my proficiency at eye contact. i in fact have to remind myself to look away thats how good i am at it. i would get an A+ in eye contact
#for anyone outside of the know i will explain the joke because my sarcasm doesnt always read as such;#autistic people often struggle with disliking eye-contact and many have practiced rituals for the normal amount of eye contact which are so#distracting to perform correctly that they can lose focus on what the conversation is about#i personally was reprimanded for gazing off into space quite young so i have zero issue looking people in the eye when they talk#but i dont know what the appropriate amount is. so i do too much.#i seriously just stare at them intently for the entire time the both of us are speaking and have to manually look away when i speak (normal#way to act based on observation) and occasionally glance off around me#so the joke is i still struggle with eye contact. but most people wouldnt realise that because they think autism is the same for erryone#my overcompensation due to my natural awkwardness makes me struggle in the opposite way#its also a joke about how because people think all autism is the same many people dont get diagnosed. never been an issue for me personally#because i realised at an age at which support is no longer really offered so all it would get me is banned from entry into some countries#(autistic people are barred from becoming citizens in some countries due to perceived higher support needs)#also i once said to my dad i thought i had adhd and he said 'you dont have adhd. you know that'. and my mum regularly talks about autistic#people as a third party to me. and about how she works with them#to be fair to both of them my dad is 100% autistic and knows it (accepted this fact at51) and my mum is probably autistic but i dont want to#talk to her about it so shes just going to be weird forever#oversharing online is important because what if someone wanted to know that
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