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madfantasy · 4 years

Text

Dear Blogging

Hello my dears, how have you been?

I'm doing alright. The repairs are finished and I got to sleep on my bed again, retuning to the same— ya know; staying up till dawn to draw. All that work maybe worth it someday but for now I'm not having enough food in my system because of it, even tho I'm used to eating as little as possible— the light-headedness dries up my productivity and brain powers..

▪️Maybe it was a cause that I haven't been all hot pursuing my artistic thrive. Usually looking into the undiscovered section of dA for inspiration helps but now idk where they put it now that they update everythin, but I can't handle it. I came across this tag on twitter that was, I suppose the idea was to find the lesser known artists and whatnot. It's a lovely gesture, but we all know how social media tends to work— in highlighting the big boys. I began to see a pattern over and over, what caught the biggest numbers were realistic, cute, themed, anime and cartoony styles. I know I shouldn't do so, but I compared mine to them and it felt my style is non of anything, just so bizarre it can't fit even tho it's still just.. idk.. art? And I considered maybe because it's unusual, while still not bearing any gigantic differentiations, it's not in the comfort zone. So, I assume that's why it's not likely to get rebloged.. as far as the normal chances of rebloging goes on this site. And putting up the banner to encourage it and promote myself seemed— I can't even say if its helping me.

But I've found my muse again, with the help of my precious friends, bless your hearts with all of their desires, you guys are all the goodness causers to me throughout these times, honestly

I got re-energized, began watching 3D pen artists and some of old electronics restorations magic that makes me marvel at the beauty of the sophisticated mind and the delivering hands of creation:

https://youtu.be/6DTqZHvLVxg

(Loved this one specially cuz I always opened up my controllers as a kid— to clean them heh)

https://youtu.be/WEqENsot7Nc

(I adore his sense of humour)

▪️I've also found the most realistic pencil brush ever that made me burst with spastic sketching energy, I love it so much it felt I returned to my pencil loving origins!

Here it is if you like to indulge:

https://assets.clip-studio.com/en-us/detail?id=1740419

( my mood :https://youtu.be/FEWi3l1ghD4 hold my hand! 🔥cuz i cant dace anyway lo)

I've also watched a forgotten adoration of my siblings and I. Doodled those penguins as if I suddenly knew how to draw bird, hehe. (Thank u for who noted that to me, you gratify me to the moon )

▪️My baby sib even made plushy with the help of my other siblings (she likes Private~):

I remembered how we always said they are cute version of us, joked how their shiny adorable backs are exactly how wearing abayas would look and whatever.

I'm excited to start on doing more art. And regained my desire of having an iPad pro, all of its qualities capture me and I'd love to feel it advancement. My current tablet is getting a bit skin curling-ly uncomfortable— scratchy.

▪️They opened up Amazon here and I thought to check it— as usual in ks a the prices are through the roof, let's say the same device originally cost around 999$ (without the pencil) on usa Amazon which is roughly 3746 R. Here it is locally, idk if the sale applied to it or not but I wish to have it before it ends because if it cost 10k without it, I'd rather buy a junk car. (Well not really, but the thought is appealing, heh)

But seriously, I don't know how it's possible, specially that everything I earn get majorly spent on bills when I choose to withdraw it from PayPal.. (actually just gave my savings for the next month to them today) and no, my plan to get my own bank account failed because even the employer whom suppose to know what's wrong with my registration files couldn't help me, after all these weeks of waiting..

But I'm still hopeful

Oh and the festival coming soon. Is on the 31th, I think.. I wonder if people would be allowed to gift meat. Anyway~

🌟I hope the coming days be kind to you my dears. Wish you all the best, may you be blessed in each step you take, and be kept away from harm.

And good luck in your pursues.. finals.. to be heard.. to be accepted.. to be normalised.. daily chores and struggles.. you are worthy, precious and strong and I hold hope and faith in you all 💛🙏

Stay safe

23.7.2020

#text #personal #drawing journey

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uwua3 · 4 years

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hi! first off, congrats on the new blog!! i read that misumi piece and i really enjoyed it hehe,, if it's alright, may i request some domestic fluff with kazunari? mayb looking over old photo albums of each other from when they were kids and laughing and telling stories about what happened in the photos? thank you very much and i hope u have a nice day :D

hi!!! this made me so happy 🥺 thank you so much, i hope to keep this blog running for a long time! also, i saw your reblog of my jealousy hcs and i wanted to say thank you for your sweet comments!!! i go back to it whenever i need motivation, you inspire me to keep writing ♡ thank you! i hope to continue making you proud as a writer :D <3

summary: kazunari had to stop living in the past and make new memories outside of his yearbooks with you

author’s note: this is definitely a much happier piece than my others! this was refreshing to write and i treasure it dearly, it’s definitely much more on the humorous side! no angst today, folks!!! (ok just a little, but it’s barely noticeable!)

this is just a little look into a hoarder named kazunari and his sentimental, nostalgic personality ♡ i, myself, am a marie kondo supporter so i love decluttering! if you are a hoarder like kazunari, honestly go you! you keep those knick knacks that remind you of memories! do whatever makes you the happiest :D

word count: 2,151

music: make you mine – public, tongue tied – grouplove (this song is so Kazunari !!!)

nostalgia.

🌻🎨 miyoshi kazunari

it was that time of year again

kazunari hated spring cleaning with a passion. so what if his art supplies were all over the dorms? he knew where everything was! uh, mostly...

(if you ignore his daily panicked house searches which kept everyone up way too late if he couldn’t locate a very specific paint shade for a big project he definitely procrastinated)

so, it took, so much bribery to get kazunari to even consider cleaning out his entire dorm room

(muku was a very Good Boy and already had his side of the room perfectly dusted and organized)

yes, you had to promise to pose as a model for one of his paintings one day (hopefully, not the type of class you were thinking) (kazunari’s suggestive wink didn’t help)

the thing about kazunari was he was somewhat of a, putting it politely, hoarder

as an extremely sentimental person, it would take the whole mankai company to even force him to throw something away

(“no! it has a special meaning to me! i remember what happened when i got this~” kazunari would whine, holding the useless item between his hands with no intentions to ever look at it again)

so the boys employed you to be kazunari’s rational judgement when cleaning that day

(“please actually make him do something.” sakyo looked like he was on the border of begging; kazunari’s abundance of random knick knacks and shopaholic addiction problem was becoming an issue that affected everyone)

rule #1 of cleaning kazunari’s storage room: don’t open anything because kazunari will become very sentimental and nothing will get gone

so therefore, as a team, you two tackled the rather spotless room. the interior was minimal and modern, just like kazunari liked it with pops of color here and there

(he had one blank white wall and you realized it was the backdrop he used to film all his social media posts [dancing tik toks, fashion #ootds on instagram, daily vlogs on his growing youtube channel])

at first, you were confused where all his stuff went until you opened a closet against his terrible and unconvincing distractions

without time to react, you found yourself buried in tens of books you couldn’t even fathom how it all fit

(“i’ve played way too much tetris.” kazunari would admit later on when asked about his immaculate stacking)

“you’ve got to be kidding me!” you groaned, pushing your head above the surface of book covers that have either never been opened or were way too old to even be functionable

“i’m sorry~ please, forgive me!” kazunari pleaded, immediately pulling you out of his own mess and using all his cuteness to make you roll your eyes fondly at your best friend

you almost started ranting at him about the dangers of taking up too much closet space with useless items before you realized:

wait! stop! he’s trying to get you to forget about throwing these books out! you thought suddenly, crossing your arms as you stared at the pile, trying to figure out how to approach the situation

“you cannot distract me. we are going through this mound and you will be getting rid of something today.” you ordered, seeing his shoulders drop in defeat as he nodded solemnly, but accepting his fate without any arguments. thank god for that

you two bent down and organized all the books into categories. popular photography instruction guides, creative advice columns, and all his past art textbooks kazunari couldn’t sell were put into a seperate group because luckily, they were relevant to his art school

things like old newspapers with funny comics were recycled (you refused to let kazunari read them in fear of invoking some form of nostalgia) (also because he had the whackiest sense of humor ever and would die laughing)

it was going well, until you reached the thickest photo books of them all (you had almost forgotten what you and kazunari’s school mascot was)

but unsurprisingly, kazunari had every single yearbook from each year of his education all the way until his last year in high school piled high to his chest

even he looked somewhat shocked from his mass accumulation from his teen years

“ah! i’m so old now~ look at all this! what else can i do except die?!” kazunari dramatically flopped onto his bed, tired of lifting so much weight. hey! his arms weren’t meant for exercise, he was a painter!

lifting his head to see you were distracted from alphabetically sorting the first section lovingly dubbed, “art shit”, kazunari mischeviously grinned as he leaned down to snatch a random yearbook

flipping to a random page, kazunari smiled as he realized it was the first time he ever met you back in elementary

kazunari sang your name as he sat upwards, having a shit–eating look on his face as he started swinging his legs back and forth

oh no, he was up to something no good, you knew it but humored him anyways

“yes, kazu?” you turned your line of sight to the most horrible picture possible: you with the ugliest haircut in the entire world with kazunari’s black hair taking up the entire photo as you two sheepishly smiled for the camera. it was not a proud moment

okay, maybe it wasn’t that bad, you just couldn’t help but shriek at the sight of your hair

“oh my god! you can’t just jumpscare me like that!” you laughed despite yourself. you knew you had to be serious and focused on decluttering, but one look at your past made you remember all the good times before so–called “adulthood”

“look at your hair!” you cackled, reaching up to playfully yank at his mullet as he yelped and lightly smacked your hand away. rubbing the back of his neck, kazunari huffed childishly and pouted like he was back in his youth

“come on! this was the pinnacle moment i realized, i should not be a hair dresser.” kazunari commented, making you remember how you just let a random 8–year–old boy waddle up to you with safety scissors and advertise his salon business like a professional

(yes, you bought into it right away. your teacher had a heart attack when she saw you with a majority of your hair on the floor and kazunari keeping small talk like an actual hair stylist)

thinking back after the haircut incident, you weren’t allowed to chat with the funny class clown anymore as you were forced to wear a hat every day

(it was either that or go completely bald to fix the job kazunari did to your head)

it wasn’t until you received a very creative and colorful apology letter with tons of sad faces drawn with waxy crayons that you snuck out to play with him on the swings in recess

“i can’t believe we became friends because i wanted free hair cuts for the rest of my life.” you added, staring at the picture with a sense of nostalgia. you kinda got where kazunari was coming from, memories were fun to look at every once and a while

at least, eleven years worth of memories after being inseperable from that moment forward

(maybe, you should’ve held onto it, you thought, not knowing that would be the first of many art pieces you would be gifted by him)

kazunari knew he won. excited, he dropped down to lay on his stomach as you leaned against the bed, watching as he thumbed through the pages with ease, leaning his head on yours comfortably

it was rare to find kazunari quiet, he must’ve been like this all the time when going through his stuff, you thought, at peace for once

lazily smiling, kazunari put his finger against your yearbook pictures as he reminisced on the past. something about everyone ever in your grade, how kazunari knew everyone and had a special memory with each person, no matter how big or small

“—and here, the teacher somehow caught a pic of us swinging wayyy too high for kids our age!” kazunari laughed, breaking your train of thought as you snickered at the absolute joy radiating from both your faces as you two competed to see who could reach the clouds

(kazu won. you fell off right after and had to get picked up from your parents after badly scraping your knee. it took another sorry letter and art of you two holding hands with a heart for your parents to forgive kazunari)

“let’s go back.” you interrupted him, making him sit up confused as you swung your keys out from your back pocket. it didn’t take any convincing for kazunari to nod right away and took the elementary yearbook into his arm

you two only had to exchange a secret look before formulating a plan to sneak out, leaving music on from kazunari’s speakers to act like kazunari was still cleaning

you two giggled amongst yourselves before clambering into your car, speeding off and laughing loudly from your successful getaway. the manager was none the wiser!

during the short car ride, you and kazunari played your favorite mixtape of all time

(“you kept this?!” kazunari yelled, giddily bouncing up and down from excitement when he discovered the mixtape stash)

he slipped the disc in as you two yelled along to childhood favorites with the windows rolled down, letting the entire neighborhood know the best duo were back in town

(seriously, there were so many you stashed away in your glove department. all labeled in sharpie with compelling titles connected to the inside jokes only you two found funny)

arriving at the destination, you two exited the vehicle to see the play pen was abandoned as the teaching staff went home for the day

the sun was setting and it felt like the playground was in another rift of time as you approached it, hearing the weak movement of the swings going back and forth on their own. you sat down, holding onto the chains. you hadn’t been back ever since you graduated. it hadn’t changed at all

kazunari opened the elementary yearbook back to the original page, pulling out his tripod and phone he always had on hand in his backpack as he set it up right across the swing set

“what are you doing?” you inquired, tilting your head as he fumbled around pressing different buttons and filters too complex for you to remember

looking up, kazunari grinned as he set a timer for 10 seconds before sprinting back to the swing next to you

“swing contest right now! i bet i could swing higher than you ever could!” kazunari challenged childishly, quickly kicking his legs for the momentum. you narrowed your eyes, refusing to lose as you two laughed over the sound of his phone taking a burst of photos

you realized what he was doing. he was re–creating your memories together

but you turned to look at him and your heart skipped a beat. you never remembered him looking this, different, in the purple lighting. for a flashing moment, you swore you saw the silhoutte of his black–haired, child self sit next to you before you blinked and saw him. kazunari was the same, just older now

you slowed down your swing by dragging your sneakers against the wood chipped ground. you grabbed both the swings’ chains to hold them together

you didn’t want to live in the past anymore. you wanted to grow up with him, too

“what—” kazunari started, matching your pace before being cut off by your lips against his, the phone going off for one last time

you pulled yourself in close enough just to smile. he smelled the exact same as he did when he discovered cologne for the first time. he never changed

you pulled away first even if he tried leaning forward for more, like he was waiting all these years just for that one moment. like he saw you in the same light, too

“i wanted to do that for years.” you confessed, watching as he took your hand carefully, like he was afraid you were going to leave. for once, he didn’t know what to do, which face to show

“me too...” kazunari agreed, seemingly speechless before straightening his back, like he was about to run away. the hair on your neck stood up, what was he about to do?

“i promise i won’t cut your hair anymore, unless?” kazunari winked dramatically, mimicking the shape of scissors with his fingers as he tried snipping at your hair

he laughed as you shoved him with all your might, hopping off the swing to chase him throughout the school parking lot

now this was a memory kazunari would never throw away, no matter what

(no one thought the two of you escaped until kazunari posted the pics on his instagram, both of you getting a scolding from sakyo this time)

(busted!)

#miyoshi kazunari #kazunari miyoshi #a3! act! addict! actors!#a3!#act! addict! actors!#a3! actor training game #a3! headcanons #act! addict! actors! headcanons #mankai a3!#mankai company #a3! x reader #a3 x reader #kazunari x reader #a3! kazunari #a3 kazunari

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gvnbreaker · 5 years

Text

CHARACTER SURVEY || Aja Hyskaris

@yascaret edited/removed some of the questions to make this more FFXIV-friendly. I made a few of my own changes as well.

RULES. Repost, don’t reblog! Tag 10! Good luck!

TAGGED BY. @yascaret and @wood-warder

TAGGING. If you’re reading this, you’re tagged!

BASICS. FULL NAME : Aja Hyskaris

NICKNAME : None (yet?)

AGE : Appears around late 20s/30 by hyur standards

BIRTHDAY : Midsummer

GENDER : Non-binary; she/they

ETHNIC GROUP : Viera (Rava)

NATIONALITY : Ivalician (?)

LANGUAGE / S : Common

SEXUAL ORIENTATION : Homosexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : Homoromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS : In a relationship with Lofn Yascaret & Pjel Qoet

HOME TOWN / AREA : The Hyskarian Deepwood, Golmore

CURRENT HOME : A small house in Shirogane.

PROFESSION : Mercenary. Bounty/monster hunter & occasional bodyguard.

PHYSICAL. HAIR : Vibrant red, wild, curly, falling to mid-back; undercut. Sideburns and widow’s peak.

EYES : Amber.

FACE : Square with a sharp jawline. High cheekbones, thick, arched eyebrows, and a prominent, aquiline nose. Often smirking insufferably or flirtatiously, prone to great expressiveness and wide smiles but just as easily brooding. Sharp teeth.

LIPS : Full. Her smiles are crooked to begin with and deadened nerves on the left side of her mouth add to the effect.

COMPLEXION : Deep brown with warm undertones, lighter palms and soles of her feet, a lighter smudge underneath her nose and around her nostrils. Freckling around her shoulders, arm, the tops of her thighs and her lower back.

BLEMISHES : None of note.

SCARS : Covered in scattered scars of varying age, depth, and severity, particularly on her left side and near her prosthetic arm. Ceruleum burns on torso; old, ringed scar around throat; vertical scar on left corner of mouth; small scar across nose; edge of left eyebrow; three scars beneath right eye.

TATTOOS & PIERCINGS : Blackwork tattoos around forearm and legs, among others (design with art to come); white tattoos (curve, three dots) beneath eyes; Several gold rings along outer shells of ears; gold septum ring

HEIGHT : Just under six fulms, not counting her ears.

WEIGHT : Average.

BUILD : Muscular and stocky, with broad shoulders tapering to a strong waist and thighs. [body type reference]

FEATURES : Her left arm, from the start of the bicep, is a mechanical prosthetic, appearing to be of magitek-or-close make.

ALLERGIES : None that she knows of.

USUAL HAIR STYLE : Worn loose and wild, not so much a style as a thick mane.

USUAL FACE LOOK : Bare-faced, wearing tinted red pince nez. Smirking, grinning, flirting--generally looking like a complete asshole.

USUAL CLOTHING : Loose, open shirts, trousers, long coats, heavy, knee-high boots, leather jackets.

PSYCHOLOGY. FEAR / S : Imprisonment, isolation, drowning, Garlean war machina.

ASPIRATION / S : Stability, helping others, belonging. In her younger years, she had romantic visions of knighthood, but those have since quieted with the years.

POSITIVE TRAITS : Adventurous, Passionate, Brave, Charismatic, Strong, Empathic

NEGATIVE TRAITS : Cocky, Bull-headed, Self-destructive, Reckless, Impulsive

MBTI : ESFP

ZODIAC : Leo

TEMPERAMENT : Sanguine

SOUL TYPE / S : Warrior

ANIMALS : Wolf

VICE HABIT / S : Brooding, drinking to excess, recklessness, impulsive decisions, using sex as validation.

FAITH : She spares it little thought.

GHOSTS ? : Yes.

AFTERLIFE ? : Maybe.

REINCARNATION ? : Hopefully.

ALIENS ? : When she met her first hyur man, she knew aliens were real.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT : Garlemald bad, fuck cops.

EDUCATION LEVEL : Average for a viera of her village. She's taught herself to read between the lines better after being conned out of a full hunt reward once or twice in her early days in Rabanastre.

FAMILY. FATHER : Fleeting contact a lifetime ago.

MOTHERS : Still in the Wood.

SIBLINGS : Several, no contact. She was close with one, but has made peace with never seeing any of them again.

EXTENDED FAMILY : Still in the Wood--as far as she knows.

NAME MEANING / S : Aja, from the Hyskarian Deepwood

HISTORICAL CONNECTION ? : She was born in Golmore, but as far as she knows her name has little meaning.

FAVORITES. BOOK : Adventure stories and romance novels. She’d never admit it, but they can be found hidden in her satchel or underneath or inside other things.

DEITY : She tries not to think about them.

HOLIDAY : Moonfire Faire, ????

MONTH : Summer

SEASON : Summer & Fall

PLACE : A grassy field. The back of a cycle. On top of someone or between someone's legs.

WEATHER : Thunderstorms, rain showers, clear skies and bright sun overhead.

SOUND / S: Rain, thunder in the distance, the soft breathing of a woman asleep.

SCENT / S : Metal, cedar, rain, leather, girlfriend ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

TASTE / S : Meat, whiskey, curry, girlfriend ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

FEEL / S : Furs, leather, grass, rain, girlfriend ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ANIMAL / S : Cats, coeurls, dogs.

NUMBER : 7

COLORS : Red, browns, black, gunmetal

EXTRA. TALENTS : She's a blunt instrument, so beating the shit out of things. Flirting. Fixing things, usually the mechanical variety. Making friends. Diffusing social conflicts as often as she creates them. She's a good cook, but it's suitable really nowhere else but over a fire with a beast's flank in one hand and a metal spit in the other.

BAD AT : Love. Understanding and accepting her feelings. Has a chronic case of Foot-in-Mouth Disease. Has a long fuse, but her temper can spin out of control when pressed. Terrible at restraint and not being reckless and impulsive.

TURN ONS : Stockings, especially with the seam up the back. The nape of a woman's neck. Banter. Compliments. Smiles. Give her a smile and a coquettish eyelash flutter or make her feel strong and she's useless putty in your hands.

TURN OFFS : Flirtatious men, cowards, cruelty, Garleans.

HOBBIES : Fishing, tinkering, gambling, trying new foods, sparring and training, exercise.

TROPES : You Can’t Go Home Again, Badass Longcoat, Dark-Skinned Readhead, Cannot Spit It Out, Hot-Blooded, Scars Are Forever, Everyone Can See It, Artificial Limbs, Berserk Button, Unusual Eyebrows, Dark and Troubled Past, Rage Breaking Point, Cool Bike, Hot-Blooded Sideburns, Fiery Redhead, Red Oni Blue Oni, Gun Blade, La Résistance, Spell Blade, Love Epiphany, Bruiser with a Soft Center, Didn’t Think This Through (Gonna stop now or I’ll be here all night)

QUOTES : “Ah, fuck.”

MUN QUESTIONS. Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?

A1 : John Wick mixed with Final Fantasy VIII mixed with Drive but with Garlean soldiers, turncoats, gay bro content, a sorceress, and also heaps of gay in general.

Q2 : What would their soundtrack/score sound like?

A2 : Chromatic rock, Nightrun, hair metal, a lot of Deftones, Tool, the Weeknd, indie and acoustic rock for angst.

Q3 : Why did you start writing this character?

A3 : When viera were teased at Fanfest, I lost my mind and have been unable to concentrate on any other character since. Aja was actually going to be a hrothgar, but when they genderlocked them and the model and general design didn’t fit her body type, well… plans changed.

Q4 : What first attracted you to this character?

A4 : Much like @yascaret’s answer, getting my gay hands on viera in FFTA and being obsessed since then. I wanted to write a warrior, a little battered but unbroken despite everything. She came out differently than originally planned, but in a good way. She’s just an even bigger himbo now.

Q5 : Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

A5 : I worry about Flanderizing her too hard, because while she is a big flirtatious himbo idiot I also want it to come across that she has depth.

Q6 : What do you have in common with your muse?

A6 : Not a lot. I guess we're both stubborn idiots with very long fuses that nonetheless eventually explode and/or destroy whatever is on the receiving end. Also what's gender precious

Q7 : How does your muse feel about you?

A7 : She probably wouldn’t acknowledge me at all, but we might bond over spicy noodles.

Q8 : What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ?

A8 : Lofn and Pjel are the obvious choice, but… Lofn and Pjel. I really love writing her alongside and against them because their personality traits both complement and chafe against one another, often in the same scene. Also I love their chemistry and look forward to how that plays out. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Q9 : What gives you inspiration to write your muse ?

A9 : B u n y d e a t h s q u a d. Just in general seeing my RP partners and roleplayers I haven’t interacted with yet writing and posting content for their characters really inspires me. As far as writing Aja, I take a handful of aesthetics, design elements, and themes and smash them together until something clicks. Listening to music and rolling through a prompt generator usually kick starts me into writing a drabble or developing something, and the FFXIV Write challenge has been great for that this month.

Q10 : How long did this take you to complete ?

A10 : About an afternoon and part of an evening. I fell into TV Tropes a little too hard near the end.

#about #character building #memes #ffxiv crystal #ffxiv rp #balmung #furiously formatting this before the oncoming storm knocks out our power and yeets my draft into oblivion #rava viera #viera

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aelinbitch-archive · 5 years

Note

unpopular opinion: i don’t like rowan/rowaelin. i’m not here to convince u to unstan lol ppl are allowed to like/dislike things w/o feeling bad about it omg but i hate that some rowan stans are so insensitive when it comes to those who don’t like him! they’re so thirsty for him that they condemn anyone who doesn’t stan him & then excuse his problematic/lowkey triggering actions bc he’s hot and it’s gross. AGAIN not saying ppl can’t like rowan it’s ok lol but it’s more about some stan’s behavior

That’s totally fair my angel. I dislike the vibe that some people are locked out of the fandom for not being a cheerleader for every aspect of the series, and I hope that my followers/mutuals know that if they dislike stuff I like, or like stuff I dislike, expressing their opinions regarding that won’t ever cause me to cut them off (unless it’s like, some truly gross shit, which disliking rowaelin isn’t).

Also I have to say, even tho I do like rowaelin, I understand where you’re coming from about people excusing his actions because he’s hot. I’ve toooooootally seen that. And I’ll just be 100% honest - no shade to anyone, but some of the rowaelin content on this website disturbs me a little bit, in terms what’s considered hot/romantic/acceptable when writing or depicting them in art. I’ve seen some weird stuff defended as hot or even just “not that bad.” Which isn’t necessarily a problem with canon, but your ask was more about stans anyway, so yeah.

A while ago I actually wrote rowaelin meta in response to some other peeps (which was more about Aelin in relation to Rowaelin and how she’s included or not included in discussions of the ship, but it has some thoughts relevant to this ask) so I’m gonna just copy and paste what I wrote below and feel free to read if u want. (It’s like very overdramatic and fiery lmao but anyway).

I agree with a lot of this, but (at risk of derailing ms aelinapologist’s amazing post) I do have a few things to say, which are

1. OP took two whole paragraphs at the beginning of her post to say that the point wasn’t to discourse about rowaelin being abuse or not abuse, it was to talk about how the conversations centering around said abuse consistently display a disturbing lack of empathy for the character who should be the main concern of the debate. So I just find it a bit funny/odd that the replies (including a portion of the one I’m about to make, I admit that) have been like “Yeah great post! And now to discourse about Rowaelin-” but I digress.

2. I have consistently loved reading about Rowan and Aelin and they’re one of my favorite fictional couples. So nothing I’m about to say is intended to be like “GOTCHA they suck and you suck for liking them!!!” Because I like them as well. A lot. And in addition, nothing about this reblog is intended to be shady or confrontational in any way shape or form. I just think this is a great and very needed discussion I’d like to contribute to, so here goes.

3. Even if we look at HoF alone and ignore how things play out later: yes, they are both mean to one another, yes, they are both in a dark place and end up having a mutually positive effect on one another (so I definitely agree that, at least for HoF alone, it’s not a “douchey guy changes for the heroine story”) but. There IS still a power imbalance. I don’t think it’s entirely accurate to say “they were both bad The End” without also bringing up the fact that Rowan is 300 years old and Aelin is 18, and that Rowan is training Aelin and is in a position that gives him a massive amount of control over her, and that he is stronger and more powerful than her physically, magically, and socially (he is a prince and legendary warrior, she is a AWOL teenage princess currently working as a scullery maid).

Maybe I’m reading into it too much, but I really just don’t think that Aelin, a 17 y/o girl going through an unimaginably shitty time, being like “fuck you!!” to this 300 y/o jerk who doesn’t know shit about her is on the same level as aforementioned 300 y/o jerk hitting her, biting her, and telling her she would have been of more use to the world if she’d died when she was eight.

And in addition to that, we see that his behavior effects her a lot more than it effects him. When he verbally tears her down, we see her experience genuine and devastating despair and shame, whereas everything she does and says to him, no matter how snarky or outright cruel, is not having that same effect on him. People always seem to think they’re giving Aelin credit for being a Strong Woman™ by saying “she’s tough! she can handle it!” when in reality… we have evidence for the fact that she kinda can’t handle it. That the way he treats her in the beginning is slowly wearing her down and sending her deeper into a depressive state. And I don’t understand how it somehow reflects poorly on Aelin (or is even misogynist) to acknowledge this. Women, especially literal teenage girls, should not be measured by their tolerance for mistreatment.

All I really wish is that somewhere along the line we’d gotten a genuine apology from Rowan for this besides a throwaway line in KoA about regretting their “brawling.” And again, none of this is to say “see!! it IS abuse!!” it’s just to suggest that, even as an enemies to friends to lovers story, the “enemies” part was not exactly on a level playing field.

4. But with that being said, I could probably forgive the imbalance in their early relationship, mostly because their later relationship, as both friends and lovers, is so amazing and supportive in pretty much every way. And the great thing about enemies to FRIENDS to lovers, like you said, is that 1) none of the assholery occurred during any kind of romantic or sexual relationship or a transition into one, so it was sort of “fair and square” in that way, and 2) they had the opportunity form a solid, platonic foundation of trust and caring before they crossed into the lover territory.

Aaaaaaaaaand then Sarah did a retcon job on HoF which negated… pretty much all of that. I can totally be down with “good old fashioned mutual hatred thaws into caring which grows into love” but once we start hearing shit like “‘Sometimes, you’d be sleeping beside me at Mistward, and it’d take all my concentration not to lean over and bite them. Bite you all over’” and “‘That was the first time I really lost control around you, you know. I wanted to chuck you off a cliff, yet I bit you before I knew what I was doing. I think my body knew, my magic knew. And you tasted… So good. I hated you for it’”……. hhhhhhhhhhh.

I can’t think of many arguments for this NOT contributing at least a little to the “he’s mean because he loves you (and stick it out because someday he’ll figure it out)” trope. And while it might be a bit different because Aelin was quite mean as well, her behavior was just… meanness. Not some sort of weird outlet for repressed sexual attraction/love. I guess I just get flashbacks of “No sweetie, that boy in your class kicks your desk, pulls your hair, and calls you names because he likes you and doesn’t know how to express it.”

And I think this decision on Sarah’s part to go back and say he was into her all along is 1) a result of the mating bond thing she’s so fond of and 2) kind of a panicked backpedalling to the backlash she might have gotten over Rowan’s behavior in HoF? Which is…. so ironic because she made it SO much worse. In my humble opinion, she should have just doubled down on what she originally wrote as enemies-friends-lovers (and had Rowan bring up his early behavior and apologize in some way), and the problem would have been solved. And while I personally feel that I can recognize this for what it is - a shitty retcon - and enjoy the relationship despite it, I don’t think we should talk over people for whom this is a deal-breaker for the ship.

5. I don’t think about all of this and have the reaction that so many “anti tog” people seem to have of “FUCK Rowan he’s ABUSIVE and PREDATORY and I wish he was DEAD!!!” I think there are things to criticize about his behavior and about the way Sarah decided to spin their relationship, but they have had many great moments, especially in the later books, and I don’t think I or anyone else is “shipping abuse” by enjoying that. All of this is just to emphasize how, in OP’s very succinct words, “your inalienable right to enjoy two characters’ dynamic does not outweigh the right to criticise it.” Because there ARE valid things to criticize, and we as Rowaelin shippers (lol.) need to be careful not to conflate ugly hatred with valid criticism when we speak over it.

And because there IS so much ugly hatred for Aelin and her relationship with Rowan on this website, I completely understand why there’s a kind of knee-jerk reaction of jumping to defense of this ship we love. But that impulse, quite frankly, means nothing to me if defense of Rowaelin includes the erasure of Aelin’s canonical experiences. And maybe this is wacky and controversial, but I’m pretty sure we can express our enjoyment of Rowaelin AND keep Aelin as an individual from being swept under the rug.

6. More than saying any of that what I really really want to do (and have been trying to do in the previous paragraphs, but maybe unsuccessfully) is bring the conversation back to OP’s original point which was not “abuse!” or “not abuse!” but about how the ways in which we discuss “abuse or not abuse” often includes a stomach-turning lack of concern for Aelin and some frustratingly reductive arguments. And somehow I have the sneaking suspicion that Rowaelin shippers are reading this post and missing the point, which that this is happening on BOTH sides of the argument.

Everyone is perfectly entitled to ship Rowaelin and argue their opinion about its merits or lack thereof, but when we cover our ears and say “she was mean too she was mean too she was mean too she was mean too la la la la la la la” that’s completely ignoring the genuine pain that she did experience in HoF and the power imbalance that she was subjected to, no matter whether or not we personally feel that it was sufficiently rectified in later books.

And I see this ALL THE TIME, in both the fandom and “anti-fandom”, and I’m honest to god quite sick of it. I’m sick of the willful ignorance of a teenage girl’s pain in order to further an agenda. Yes, it’s more stomach-turning when the agenda is to prove what an evil bitch she is or whatever, but it’s not excusable if your agenda is to prove Rowaelin is great, either! And I don’t understand why we have to throw all nuance out the window and ignore how Dorian hurt her, ignore how Chaol hurt her, ignore how Rowan hurt her, fucking hell, ignore how SAM hurt her, just so we can make our arguments! Because as much as the antis love to scream about “WHAT MESSAGE IS THIS TERRIBLE SHIP SENDING THE TINY GIRL-CHILDREN WHO READ THE BOOKS???” it’s also like, what kind of message is our ongoing discussion of it sending by sweeping a teenage girl’s experiences under the rug when we argue about her relationships?

And like OP said, what have we even got to show for it? No conclusion has been reached, nothing has been achieved besides valuing a romance (or the hatred of that romance and preference for a different romance) over individual characters, namely an individual character who happens to be a teenage girl that has suffered an ungoldy amount - suffered, sometimes, at the hands of male characters we like.

In conclusion, the mass allergy everyone seems to have to giving a shit about Aelin unless its to further their agenda is sickening. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve had to hear about how poor Manon’s character was “ruined” by Manorian (although not directly by DORIAN, of course, because apparently Saint Haviliard can do no wrong) I’d have enough money to buy a lamborghini and drive it off a cliff like I wish I could every time I hear someone’s terrible hot take about how Aelin is complicit in her own alleged abuse. Yet somehow I’ve never heard anyone complain about the damage done to Aelin’s character by any of the male characters, including Rowan. It’s never “Rowan ruined Aelin’s character!!” it’s “Rowaelin sucks and so does Aelin.” In fact, one of the REASONS Aelin sucks in the first place IS Rowan/Rowaelin! What a great implicit message to send to people reading your “critiques”: if you are annoying and #problematic enough, your suffering will be used against you and you will receive no sympathy for it. Cool!

And for other ships, too: it’s never “Chaol and Dorian, while at points a very good for Aelin, also caused her a lot of pain” it’s either “Chaol was right about Aelin in QoS and both he and Dorian are ruined because of her #chaorian” OR, from the fans, who, again, are not off the hook, “Chaol and Dorian and Aelin are BFFs forever #originaltrio.” And as a teenage girl myself, who loves and identifies with Aelin, who is more invested in her story than anyone else’s… I’m just tired. And more than a little appalled. And I wish we could do better.

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huynah · 5 years

Text

WANTED SHIP PLOTS.

lately i have been thinking about very specific plots for my muses and they aren’t exactly ones that i can just reblog into my wishlist or whatever but they are very unique to my girls. so i’ve decided to compile all of those plots here, in hopes that someone will see this list and want to do one, two or five. if you want to do any of the plots under the cut with my girlies, please just im me and we can go from there!! these are basically my ultimate ship plots for them that i will actually kill a man for.

**all lesbian plots are highly selective and will only continue if we plot things out extensively and i feel comfortable with roleplaying with you**

PARK AERI. 25. HETEROSEXUAL. MODEL/ACTRESS.

the classic arranged marriage/engagement plot. maybe the son of her father’s business partner? they decide it will be a good business deal for them (and ofc aeri’s mother would agree cause it will make aeri even more of a hot topic) and like maybe the guy needs to fix his image so they’re thrown together. the feeling doesn’t have to be mutual but aeri will probably hate him and make it known but she will also like warm up to him.

beauty and the bodyguard aka he’s her bodyguard and maybe she gets drunk one night and comes on to him but he just takes her home. but then gets cocky the next day and teases her about it and that will probably build up tension for aeri so they end up sleeping together. but then it happens again and again and it becomes a cycle until they’re left with figuring out what the hell they’re gonna do esp when photos are released by the press of the two of them being cozy.

aeri is lowkey a big nerd so maybe she goes to the one bookstore frequently and has kinda developed a friendship with the owner/worker and they’re like the only person in the world that kind of sees her being herself and idk maybe he asks her on a date and shes like *blushes*

literally any plot where she falls in love with a bad boy like maybe he’s a killer or a gang member but like she gets turned on by it because she’s literally the worst

LEE EUNJIN. 21. BISEXUAL. ASPIRING ACTRESS.

forever wanting roommate plots for her because it’s just funny and your muse will get a kick out of seeing her in her natural habitat failing to Function

tbh i wouldn’t mind something where she ends up dating a single parent? like eunjin is literally a child herself and if she really likes the person she will want to make it work even if it means putting on a diaper backwards or something

DO BORA. 19. QUESTIONING. MED STUDENT.

her first gay experience?? yes please?? like bora is the purest baby ever and like having a crush on a girl will be the softest thing ever and it would be so sweet if she had a girlfriend who kinda takes her under her wing and shows her the gay way. she will be the most flustered lil angel

i really want maybe a ghost/bora plot or something? she’s a clairvoyant and can see ghosts and she’s also like a magnet for supernatural things and has been all her life so it would be interesting for her to like idk fall in love with a ghost

literally any supernatural creature x bora ship makes me excited.

your muse works at the hospital she is interning at as an entertainer in the childrens ward or something and they cross paths often and their first unofficial date is them eating vending machine food at 3am while she’s on a 14 hour shift and then it turns to them sneaking into the janitors closet and her turning to them when she loses her first patient etc.

CHA MUHYEON. 24. HETEROSEXUAL. GOVERNMENT ASSASSIN/AGENT.

they both work for the government and are assigned to do an undercover mission where they need to be husband and wife in a neighbourhood to gather intel or something and they basically end up actually being a married couple and falling in love

a life as we know it plot where they went on a blind date set up by their friends who happen to be a couple years before and it was shit, they end up despising each other. flash forward and that friend couple are married and have a baby that they are the god parents of. those friends die in a crash and they’re left to raise their child.

childhood best friend who is like her bro that she gets fake engaged to just to shut her parents up and to make it seem like she has a normal life and it’s like awkward for them to kiss and stuff but ofc they end up falling in love.

a bad boy criminal who finesses her and she falls in love with him when working his case and now theres a major conflict of interest because oh no he’s really bad.

THEODORA. 26. BISEXUAL. MECHANIC.

roommates to lovers please and thank you. like they would have to be a bro kind of person for her to get along with and like imagine if they are both pretty broke so they only have a studio apartment to share with one bed.

younger!teddy moves in across the street for the summer with her family. falls in love with your muse for the summer but they need to part ways, only for her to be bit by a werewolf on the day she was supposed to leave. she needs to stay in town to be part of her pack so she ends up still living across the street and your muse is like ?? and she explains it. basically human significant other x an adjusting werewolf pls.

PARK NARI. 26. HETEROSEXUAL. EX IDOL/SONGWRITER.

maybe a boy that she grew up playing baseball with since that was pretty much her childhood and they reunite years later after she debuted and also fell from the spotlight as an idol idk?

a fake engagement plot between her and a work colleague since her mother is always pressuring her to be a wife and have kids so she decides to take matters into her own hands and fakes it to get her off her back. fails to realize she needs to actually pretend to be in love with this person and things get awkward at work.

maybe an old trainee/idol friend who she hasn’t seen since she debuted years ago gets signed to her company and walks into her office one day to record a demo for a song that she was working on. maybe the song was written about them. maybe she was in love with them??

MOON OCTAVIA. 22. QUESTIONING. ART STUDENT.

childhood best friends/neighbours who wave grown up together and have been inseparable since birth? like they have basically been dating all their lives just without the kissing and stuff: girlfriends have always been jealous of her or threatened even though everyone in town has accepted they are like this. going into college she gets into witchcraft and puts a love spell on him after realizing she has a case of Feelings. plot twist: the spell doesn’t work on them because they are already in love with her. also their parents are best friends too and provide funny commentary and her dad is actually surprised they end up together even tho the other parents have been rooting for them.

basically she’s the school’s big old virgin and gets made fun of a lot for it and maybe there’s a jock who makes a bet with his buddies where they are like “i bet u won’t be able to take her v card” so he starts dating her as a bet. but falls in love with her. lots of angst when she finds out.

okay but also something like buffy the vampire slayer where she’s like willow aka the witch and your muse is like xander aka the human friend and idk i have some ideas (may have lowkey written a fanfiction that was a the 100 x btvs cross over and that is what octavia is based off of)

another first gay experience would be great for this lil bean. she’s another one who would get flustered and shy over having a crush on a girl and stuff.

TEACHER X STUDENT PLOT TOO!!

ANDROMEDA LEE. 24. BISEXUAL. CRIMINAL.

an inmate x guard relationship like in s1 of orange is the new black but she doesn’t end up pregnant with a baby (or maybe she does who knows) and maybe they end up living happily ever after once she gets out.

someone she does shady stuff with who has kinda always had her back even though they have gotten in trouble doing things together but still.

good boy/girl bad girl but they find out that at heart she is actually a good girl.

#indie rp #indie krp #krp #open rp #wanted plots #sora is the only one not here bc i think she may be a singleship muse im not sure #ANYWAY!!! im gonna go to sleep but i hope to wake up to a lot of ims pls

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straykids-jiisung · 3 years

Text

check in tag ✔️

tagged by @lost-midnight-flower thank zouuu dankeeee

1. why did you choose your url?

i like stray kids and i like jisung !!! [also my old url made me look like a bot - i mean annie30928 rllyyy??!!!]

2. any side blogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

i do! i have a personal diary one whihc i dont use, an art one whihc i might have deleted and i dont use, a bunchhh of saved urls and @skz-straykids which is an incorrect post blog thing and which i DO actually use regualry what a suprise!!!

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

i can find out the exact date, hold on! -my first post was april 24th 2014!!

4. do you have a queue tag?

god no, i put everything in quueue unless its an own post or i make a mistake, i am veryyy bad at all tags and i dont rlly do them regulary

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i was always on facebook, looking up those funny posts, and all of them seemed to come from tumblr so i wanted a laugh so i was like why not!

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

i like jisung! and i wanted a brighter picture than the old one i had and that event was popping up everywhere on my dashboard!!

7. why did you choose your header?

The lovely @blueprint-han made it for me, and I’m still grateful!!

8. what's your post with the most notes?

i probs just put a random photo i had saved onto my phone!

9. how many mutuals do you have?

idk???

10. how many followers do you have?

449! i dont even want to know how many of them are porn bots that i forgot to block

11. how many people do you follow?

1137!!

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

like talking meanly about someone - no, or like making a nonsense post? - idkkk, maybe? probs no tho

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

accoridng to my phone thing, this week has been pretty good, ive only used it on average an hour a day

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

yeah, like ive got anon hate before and one vague posted about me but ive ignored them but i did get into an argument with one person - it was long time coming, we were in a group chat with these other ppl and i was getting more and more irritated by her views and then we got in an argument

- i then said sorry and they didnt accept it and then i got rlly angry anf then bla bla bla we both blocked each other so noone rlly won

[after we blocked each ohter, i went on the laptop to see her blog off account to see how she was and this anon decided to take advantage of the argument and send her death threats and ugly remakrs and she thought it was me so that was probably the most upsetting thing that somebosy thought i would EVER do something like that]

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

dont like them, im less inclined to reblog it even if i like the post, i mostly ignore them

16. do you like tag games?

yeah! but sometimes i dont do them, mainly bebasiue i normally do them on my phone and its rlly hard casue i cant copy and paste the entire post, i ahve to do it in stages

17. do you like ask games?

i do! but again sometimes i dont do them for the above reason!

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

nobody? depends what u mean tumblr famous, but i do have mutuals which seem to have this cirlce of friends so yh

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

no? i dont rlly know them? [also ive never had a crush in my life so far, not irl, not famous ppl, fictional ppl, nobody]

20. tags?

ok, this is where it gets tricky casue i never remember any of the urls

@jisungshotfirst @linogram@hanstagrams @calcifer-rose ok yeppose thats enough

#ask #dankeeeee #lost-midnight-flower

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blainemoriarty · 7 years

Note

Hi! I'd like to try rping with you but the rules/bio pages are incompatibke with either my phone or my my app. Would you be a dear and copy/paste them here so I can know if we are rp compatible please? Much appreciated! @cameron-allen

Of course!! Sorry about that–

** Also, if you have any other questions regarding either my rules or Blaine’s storyline, feel free to ask!

Rules

Just some basic stuff:

Blaine is gay. I will not ship him with women, or put him in any sexual/romantic situation with a woman (unless we discussed something otherwise). Don’t let that scare you off from plotting with me, though! I’m more than happy to roleplay with female muses, and even if they are in to him, that could make for an incredibly interesting plot. Blaine just won’t be attracted to them in return.

This is a semi-selective roleplay blog. I reserve the right to choose who I roleplay with and when I answer.

I’m open to roleplay with OCs or characters from different fandoms. This is a crossover account, after all, and Blaine is so out-of-character that he might as well be an OC himself.

I’m not very picky with who I ship Blaine with, when it comes to male characters. The relationships themselves can be as unhealthy and toxic as you please. Also, age-differences are irrelevant.

NSFW will be tagged. I’ll do my best to tag triggers, as well, but please let me know if I miss anything.

Blaine is a male prostitute. This should be a trigger warning in itself, I think.

Both the mun and muse are of legal age. I will roleplay with underage muns, but I would rather not roleplay smut with you if you are under eighteen. The reason for this should be clear enough.

I’m fine with doing threads in which our muses already know each other. I know how awkward it can be when you send an ask that’s replied to with “Who on earth are you?” That won’t happen here. Unless you wanted to.

The mun reserves her literacy for threads, for the most part. If we chat ooc (which would be awesome) be warned that I tend tO TALK TO U IN ALL CAPS LIKE THIS !!!

I tend to post a lot ooc, since this is my only platform to do so, and also may reblog stuff that isn’t particularly relevant to my muse. Please respect that. All of my ooc stuff will be tagged if it bothers you, and if I share anything that you find triggering or just don’t like, simply shoot me an ask and I’ll tag it for you so you can blacklist it. Easy-peasy.

I will automatically attempt to turn answered memes into threads, whether I’m the one who answered them or you are. Keep this in mind! If you don’t want something to be turned into a thread for whatever reason, don’t be afraid to let me know!

I don’t use small or formatted text in my replies, because that’s a lot of work (especially since I’m on mobile most of the time) and I think that the quality of the writing itself is much more important than how pretty it looks. So naturally, the same standards apply to my partners. Format your replies however you like, or don’t format them at all - I’m much more concerned about the content itself.

Icons are very rarely used on my part - mostly because I don’t have many and I’m on mobile most of the time. If you want to use icons, that’s fine - let me know when you send an ask. If you answer my ask using an icon, or tag me in a starter using an icon, then most of the time I will wait until I have access to a computer to reply. That means the time between my replies will be longer. Rarely, I might reply to an icon thread without an icon, in which case I will try to make up for it by writing oodles of text. This is either because I’ve been on mobile for a while and am anxious about making you wait, or have a lot of muse for that thread and want to reply already!

About

Name: Blaine Anderson

Age: 24

Place of Birth: Ohio, USA

Current Residence: London, U.K

Sexual Orientation: Gay

Occupation: Male prostitute

Family: Daniel Anderson (Father, deceased), Gabrielle Anderson (Mother, deceased), Cooper Anderson (brother, estranged)

And now…

Daniel Anderson was the youngest of six children born into a wealthy Irish family, moved to the United States in his twenties to set up his own life and escape the suffocating atmosphere of his old household (while still making use of his share of his parent’s money, of course). He was a very devoted Catholic, and wrote mystery novels with his free time - they never did make it to publication. He came across as cold and unapproachable, caused both by his own, personal, emotional issues, and a deep, internalized idea of what a man should be that was far heavier than the weight of the Anderson family’s legacy. He married young, to the youngest daughter of another rich family, Amara Canton. They didn’t like each other at all, despite having a son together, and argued constantly until they finally divorced. Daniel met his second and last wife about a year later, and together they had another child.

Gabrielle Mendoza was a third generation Filipino-Americam who had music running through her veins. She had the voice of an angel, and taught Blaine every instrument he knows how to play. She met Blaine’s father when she was twenty-seven and he was thirty-four; he’d recently divorced a woman whom he’d married solely for his family’s benefit and with whom he already had a five year old son, Cooper. Daniel fell in love with Gabrielle almost immediately. She was unconditionally kind and caring, even when Daniel seemed stiff and cold. She did what no other person had ever managed to do for him - she made him softer.

They were married in little less than a year of meeting each other, and Blaine was born within another.

Blaine was born on April 15th, 1992. His mother had always described him as ‘a tiny man with big dreams’ - tiny, meaning a five year old boy in a ridiculous bow-tie, dancing with his mom in the warm sitting room that served as their ballroom. Music was always something that he loved, and came as naturally to him as breathing. Of course, his father had certain opinions about his son’s passion, but Gabrielle would never let him rob Blaine of the one thing in the world that never failed to make him happy. (Besides, his father loved seeing him that way)

Trouble came to Blaine in the form of his brother. Cooper didn’t like Blaine, and he despised Gabrielle. He even held a particular distaste toward their shared father, a remarkable amount of anger for a ten year old boy. The adults tried not to take it personally, and blamed it on grief - his mother had died, after all, not long after divorcing his father. It was understandable that he would be bitter over someone else’s happiness during such a dark part of his life. Blaine, however, couldn’t have understood that, and couldn’t help but think that he’d - at three years old - done something horribly wrong to ruin Cooper’s life.

It wasn’t difficult to see why Blaine would believe such a thing. Cooper was mean - he was unjustly cruel and clever enough to disguise it. He bullied Blaine in secret for most of their young lives, knowing exactly how to manipulate his little brother into believing that it wasn’t really bullying, Cooper was just teaching him a lesson, Cooper was just making him a stronger person, Cooper was just punishing him for messing up that one dance move that he should’ve gotten right on the first try-

Blaine quickly began to hold resentment toward something that he’d once been passionate about. Nothing he did seemed to be right, or good enough, and the stressful need to be perfect trumped his enjoyment. Pleasure had turned into a source of distress - and it would stay that way for a long time.

There was a short period of freedom when Cooper went off to college - if it could be called freedom. The derogatory thoughts about himself that had been drilled into him still haunted Blaine, but he could focus his perfectionism on other things, now. With Cooper out of the picture, at least, Blaine had some control over his own life.

That all ended once Blaine turned fifteen and Cooper returned home. Blaine was at the peak of puberty and his body had a mind of it’s own. Cooper, being the kind of person that he was, took advantage of this. Blaine saw it as Cooper finally liking him - or, hopefully, loving him. For Blaine, the unhealthy charade between them was him finally being accepted and wanted by his big brother.

For Cooper, it was the perfect way to hurt his little brother.

Their ‘relationship’ was a one-sided attraction laced with manipulation and abuse - both physical and emotional. Cooper hated Blaine; in his eyes, Blaine was symbolic of everything that had ever gone wrong in his life, and the perfect means-to-an-end of his lifelong, misguided quest for vengeance.

Very simply, Cooper wanted to hurt Blaine. And that’s exactly what he did.

Blaine’s parents were both murdered a year after Blaine and Cooper’s relationship began. Cooper had left (he was always leaving for extended periods of time, during which Blaine’s mood usually took a turn for the worse. That was probably why) and the next time Blaine saw him, he was standing over their parents’ bodies. He didn’t know it was Cooper, of course. Not until much later on.

After their deaths, Cooper left, and never contacted Blaine again.

Blaine’s last year of high school was a blur. His family’s now-empty house was suffocating him. His country was suffocating him. He needed to get out, and college was his opportunity to do just that. Luckily, his stressful but successful high school career paid off, and he was accepted to a prestigious art school in London. He lasted there for less than two years before dropping out.

Grief was a difficult thing to work with. Mixed with trauma of every shape and size, Blaine was barely able to function at all.

How Moriarty became interested in him, Blaine would never figure out. At the time, he was just a whore. A resourceful whore, who knew how to get what he wanted, but anyone could

Nonetheless, Blaine was contacted on his website (which he still refuses to discuss, because it contains some very old, very exposing photos of his barely nineteen-year old self) by the king of crime, looking for a whore.

Foolishly, Blaine agreed to meet with him.

Surprisingly enough, Blaine wasn’t contacted just to be fucked - at least, not just by Moriarty. He proved himself to be a useful tool when it came to getting information out of people, without the mess that forcing it out of them would result in.

But why had he chosen Blaine? There were plenty of other sex workers throughout London, more talented and popular and charming than he was…

Inevitably, Blaine stopped torturing himself over such things. Instead, he did something even worse to himself - he fell in love.

Jim Moriarty was, arguably, one of the most dangerous men in the world. Falling in love with him was probably the most idiotic thing Blaine had ever done. At the same time, what little seemingly-genuine affection that was given to him was also more than anything he’d ever experienced before. Perhaps it was all part of Moriarty’s ‘plan’, or maybe it was his own mistake (doubtfully), or maybe he the feelings he showed were genuine (even less likely), but whatever it was, it worked. Blaine was hooked.

Of course, that meant he was loyal to a fault. Especially since, alongside his romantic feelings, Blaine had quite a bit of fear. Once again, Moriarty was one of the most dangerous people in the world, and his violent outbursts made no exceptions for Blaine if he was irritated or not.

Whatever there was between them, it was made very clear that Blaine was expendable.

That was no surprise.

Aaaand also a crap ton of demon!Blaine stuff in case he interests you as well–

Incubi (Mun’s Interpretation):

Succubi and incubi are demons that feed off of orgasmic energy, created soley to please other demons, although it isn’t uncommon for them to feed off of humans as well. It’s rumored that the first succubae and incubi were fallen angels or nephilim, but only the more superstitious of the bunch (like Blaine) believe in this.

According to most sources, any succubus demon is also an incubus demon, and vice versa. Their title depends strictly on which gender they present as. An incubus demon would only “become” a succubus demon if they wanted to reproduce (which, thanks to handy demonologists like Sebastien Michaelis, I get to give you a ridiculously detailed step-by-step guide for.) In their succubus form, they would “collect” (ewugh) a human man’s sperm, and in their incubus form would “transfer” that sperm to a human female and impregnate her. Most sources agree with this, although a few mention that an incubus and succubus can also have a child together. Either way, the child produced is called a Cambion. There’s not much information on them, so let’s just say that they’re baby demons that later become either an inbcubus or succubus, determining their presenting gender once they’re of age and their “powers” appear.

Since incubi are also sometimes referred to as ‘fauns’, their demonic forms most likely have goat or deer aspects, such as horns or antlers, and equine legs. Rarely, they may also take the form of a ball of light (very similar to a will o’ the wisp). This only happens if an incubus desperately needs to burn off extra energy or needs to lure in new sources of it, and not all incubi know how to assume this form. Blaine doesn’t.

Sex demons feed off of the sexual energy of other people, but they don’t need to orgasm in order to feed. The process doesn’t harm other demons, but can harm humans, but this heavily depends on the demon that is feeding off of them. More powerful demons can feed off of humans in their dreams, but this is a rare talent.

An incubus’ body or form changes depending on how much energy they’ve consumed. As mentioned earlier, some can turn into a ball of light, but the body of every incubus and succubus has its temperature change. To put it simply, an excess of energy makes their body cold, while a lack of it makes their body warm, in order to be either alluring or repelling. If an incubus has too much or too little energy, their bodies can turn into dust, and they die. The obvious solution to a lack of energy is by feeding off of someone’s energy, but to cope with too much of it, most incubi will find another incubus or succubus to have sex with. Since they can’t produce energy on their own, feeding off of each others acquired energy evens everything out. This would suck if two of them wanted to be in a relationship, but their biological needs make monogamy nearly impossible, and none of them really have a desire for that kind of relationship. Often, outside of the harems kept by Hell’s royalty, incubi and succubae prefer polyamorous relationships instead.

Blaine:

Blaine presents primarily as an incubus, and rarely takes on his succubus form. He doesn’t really need or want to (he has no desire to reproduce, at all). He’s not the most powerful incubus, but he does have more status than some of the strongest, since he’s got two masters, one of which is the king of Hell (not necessarily Supernatural’s Crowley, but it can be) and another who is stronger than all of Hell’s heirarchy put together (my confusing au Jim Moriarty).

Blaine was born as a Cambion, the offspring of an unknown demon parent and his unknowing human mother, Gabrielle. He was raised as a boy because of mankind’s gender-binary thing (this is the case with a lot of Cambion children), and that stuck with him even after he discovered that he was a demon, when he turned eighteen and Moriarty sought after him. That was a long time ago, and he’s still very comfortable in his incubus form. In a way, he got lucky.

Despite his weakness as a demon, Blaine is still much stronger than any human, and smarter than most demons, which makes him an excellent spy. That’s the purpose he serves for Moriarty, who he considers his true master, and he’s unconditionally loyal. Blaine practically worships him, despite not being able to be intimate with him, since his power is so much that Blaine would turn into dust by even being too close to him during sex. As for Crowley, Blaine doesn’t mind him much, even if he feigns dislike towards him to please his true master; he’s not a terrible owner. A bit sadistic, unsurprisingly, but not terrible. (Or maybe Blaine is just very easily wooed)

#(( i put it under a cut because... its a lot of stuff #hope this isnt too overwhelming! ))#cameron-allen

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