#also i'm fucking lying no one says that.
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sweet thing — 1k words, choi yeonjun
warnings: explicit marijuana usage, shotgunning (..again), some kissing, frat president! boyfriend! stoner!yeonjun, a true and very accurate portrayal of what frat boys really want (a girlfriend lol), probably unrealistic infatuation and slightly possessive/jealous behavior, college party culture, frat boys!txt
a/n: if anyone was wondering, yes, i would be so down to have a stoner bf. not that i’m encouraging smoking of any sort, including weed, so don’t do drugs <3 and yes, i have a teeny tiny little fantasy about how it’d be like to date a frat boy, don’t ask. also… never underestimate the power of yawnzzn, he knows exactly what he’s doing. moral of the story: find yourself a sweet, real nice person that is obsessed with you!! don’t settle for less babes :]
you know what they say: good, sweet boyfriends always get their girl high before they’ve even taken a hit.
yeonjun is no different, a selfless soul, truly, the kind of addict that keeps pre-rolled joints stored in all sorts of places, always making sure you’re satisfied before he’s even begun. you don’t need much either, considering he’s the more experienced one, perching you on his lap and watching your lips wrap around his joint, smiling when he hears a light hum leave your chest. ah, yes, he treats his girl so well.
even when he’s the president of his frat, constantly hurdled with duties here and there: rush week, pledging, community service, partying—he’ll always make time in his busy schedule to see you. even if it means sitting on the bed of his trashed bedroom, fastening his arms around your waist, only getting high from the smoke you give him. really, he couldn’t ask for anything more.
his favorite part is when you surprise him at his parties, not always your favorite setting, dressed up so perfectly to him (baggy jeans and a t-shirt, a real turn on), sending your boyfriend the most stunning smile when you see him. his brothers scoff at the sight of you, namely the insufferable external vice president beomgyu (who still hasn’t satiated his deep desire to find a girlfriend), strutting away with such a sway that it makes you giggle.
“hi sweetheart,” yeonjun’s dripping honey already, pulling you to sit on his lap, pressing his fingertips carefully against your arm. he’s far gone, you realize, from the way he’s absolutely dazed, licking his lips slowly from the dryness, trailing his eyes on yours lazily. “i’m so glad you came.”
“mhm, i know,” you’re running a hand through his hair, the dusted pink color slowly growing to your liking. he leans into your touch, closing his hand around your wrist and sniffing. he’s exhaling loudly, eyes closed and head rocking back, one would think he’s getting off to the smell of you, as if you’d worn that mythical pheromone perfume he gifted you on your birthday. “you fucking pervert…”
“you smell good,” is all he mutters, letting you massage his scalp, chuckling when you curse at him again. a few seconds pass in the quiet bliss before he’s coming back to his senses, sitting up so fast you nearly topple off of him. “fuck, y/n, you’re sober.” it makes him frown slightly; of course, he can’t let you stay like that.
there’s nothing more attractive to him than the way you look when you’re taking hits—a little goes a long way—leaning back against him, eyelashes fluttering as the smoke bellows around you. he’s so pliant, patient with you as he doesn’t even let you hold the joint, exhaling smoke into your mouth every so often to see your crazed smile. the way your lips ghost past his, teasing in an attempt to be coy, oh, it makes him a mad man.
and it comes to a particular point in the night when you’re all giggly once again, laughing sweetly at the incredibly shitty jokes internal vice president soobin is making, making small talk with treasurer taehyun, even thanking (god forbid) secretary kai when he hands you a water bottle, and yeonjun’s locked a permanent arm around your waist. shit–his eyes are darting around, an incredulous look on his face–do all his brothers want to fuck his girl?
“don’t be ridiculous,” you mutter as your boyfriend whispers liquid jealousy, nodding your head as kai rambles on about how his president had him cleaning toilets for days. the one thing you ever hear from yeonjun’s brothers are complaints, of course, on how he runs this excuse of a fraternity. he’s now giving death glares to any man that comes within a ten foot radius of you, snapping at them to leave you alone, pressing you closer to him with every passing moment.
oh, of course, now he’s gotten possessive.
“my girl,” he’s sighing, lighting yet another joint to place against your lips, watching you relish in the feeling. his heart swells, nearly bursts from the way you laugh breathlessly, kissing at the very corner of his lips, pulling away when he chases after you. white smoke blurs his vision, but he’s still staring. “c’mere princess, share with me.”
you do, parting your boyfriend’s lips with your hand, looking directly into his eyes–pupils blown to the max, shaking–and exhaling. he can’t help but press his mouth against yours, trapping the smoke, grasping at the fabric of your shirt, searching for a nothingness to bring you impossibly closer. you’re caught off-guard, however, gripping his shoulders to keep him in place, kissing him back hesitantly. still in a public setting, you know, you can feel his brothers’ eyes starting to prickle at your back.
you’re so lucky he’s the president, you’re thinking with your eyes screwed shut, tongue pressing against yeonjun’s, waiting patiently for the high to hit. when it does, you can tell, the way his lips messily move against yours, kissing so loudly you know it’s indecent; after all, you hate pda when you’re sober, yet your brain’s fuzzy now, leaving you with quiet giggles bubbling in your chest. it’s so funny to you, suddenly, even when you’re curled up on your boyfriend’s lap, lazily inhaling as he presses the joint to your lips once again, grinning as you let him have a taste too.
and in all of that, when his lips leave a ghost trail on your neck, as your head floats far above the clouds, there’s nothing better he can think of. you’re the best thing he’s ever had, no denying that. even the faint crash of an empty vodka bottle doesn’t catch his attention, nor the yelling voice of the external vice president, the complaints and whines and one-sided argument, it’s all his imagination at this rate.
“–and fuck you, yeonjun, stop fucking your girl on our goddamn couch!”
#yeonjun x reader#yeonjun imagines#choi yeonjun x reader#txt x reader#txt x y/n#yeonjun fluff#yeonjun suggestive#yeonjun scenarios#txt fluff#txt suggestive#txt scenarios#girl if anyone ever quotes me on this...i'm done for#also i'm fucking lying no one says that.
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Have you heard of the "Crowley is Malleus' dad" theory going around? Where Prince Levan (or whatever his name is) didn't actually die and just went out to get some milk and is now known as Dire Crowley, the silly man? The implications of that theory is absolutely hilarious when you think about it
hold on, we can figure this out, we just need LISTS
PROS THAT CROWLEY IS SECRETLY REVAAN/LEVAN/LAVERNE/WHATEVER:
unspecified fae of some kind, with similar coloring to Mal
the animal masks are apparently a Briar Valley thing
has some kind of big blackmailable secret that was alluded to in episode 4, and then as far as I know never brought up again
(unless this was just Azul bullshitting, which is extremely possible)
based on Diablo, which...maybe means something?
has canonically worn Dad Shorts
CONS:
(gestures to Crowley's entire personality)
NO LISTEN Revaan was the guy they sent off on diplomatic missions and to take care of delicate political situations, and...look, I love this dweeb, but would you trust Crowley to be in charge of negotiating your war treaties
despite my brain insisting on reading his name as "Raven", Revaan's title does imply that he was also a dragon (or super into longan berries, I'm not ruling that out)
currently unclear why Lilia "my closest friend Revaan...he is no longer with us...I used to make fun of him for being kind of a priss about eating jerky..." Vanrouge has somehow not noticed or said anything
Malleus' Aloof Anime ~Aristocrat~ vibe had to come from somewhere, and by all accounts it was NOT his mom's side of the family
???:
turns into a bird in the opening, I don't know if that means anything but it's kinda cool, I guess
all that aside, if Malleus and Yuu are any indication, then the Draconias have...questionable taste in their social choices. so anything is possible!
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#disclaimer that this is half joke and half speculation so like. please take it in good spirits and don't yell at me#right now i'm leaning away from crowley being revaan because i think the evidence is currently circumstantial at best#but who knows what the future will bring!#man. whenever i consciously remember that crowley is diablo it also reminds me#that his name is supposed to be pronounced like dear and not like the word dire#which always fucks me up a little bit. this is the worst thing about him bar none.#damnit crowley#anyway every time a new part comes out i rewatch the opening just in case there turns out to be any more foreshadowing#(there never is)#(but that ONE really quick bit where you can see overblot azul means i always have to look)#which is to say i have been carefully reanalyzing all the crowley bits and i have reached the conclusion#that i still have no idea what is going on with him#he may be the world's biggest mastermind or the world's biggest idiot and these are not mutually exclusive#(this is a strictly pro-crowley post btw)#(i'm allowed to make fun of him because i love him dire-ly)
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okay so in disco elysium there is a system for "thoughts". how they work is that you can obtain them through interacting with other people or by saying specific things a certain amount of times and you'll get a little thought that you can "internalize" in your character's brain, and after he thinks about it for a few minutes or hours, might give you some stat boosts or some advantage to help you in game.
one thought you can get is called "homo-sexual underground". you get it after meeting a gay man and wondering Why there's such a mystique to him. it's one of the thoughts that takes the longest to internalise in the game, it takes 8 in-game hours for your character to process it.
and essentially, literally ALL that it fucking does, the thought's ONLY PURPOSE, after spending 8 entire in-game hours and consuming a whole slot of your thought cabinet on it, maybe even a skill point!! is unlock a single dialogue option with your long suffering npc companion where you ask him if he's gay.
to which he says "yes". and it's never brought up ever again. disco elysium is the best game ever made.
#breaking it down like this because i think it's fucking hilarious. and people who dont know about it should#also i'm kind of lying when i say it only does one thing. it serves another purpose which is being a base for 70% of all DE fanfic#de
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quick note - this blog is gonna be sparse again for at least this week. trying new medications and tbh initial side effects are not super pleasant + actual effects build up. as a result: currently as if unmedicated for mental health, with anxiety+ side effect, extra fatigue, dizziness, and fatigue. it's uh, sure something.
totally recognize that most of y'all know we're absent at times due to health things, just wanted to give a heads up that this one is at least anticipated.
#fun fact sometimes condensing meds just means poorer treatment of some conditions#this is a re-expansion + new thing#so that instead of poorly treating my mental health and using an unusually high dose SNRI for another (physical) condition#i will hopefully both be in less pain AND not depressed af AND also have an appetite again#i doubt i will be lucky and not have a fucked stomach due to meds but one can hope that an appetite will allow me to eat foods that upset#my stomach a lot less#my health is forever a massive balancing act#every time a medical thing is like 'so what meds do u take' i'm like here i wrote it down for u#and they're like 'oh. ooookay. let me just...' *five minutes of typing and clicking later*#'so! what did you come in for again? uhuh. you said you experience pain daily? with your chronic pain thing? hm. have you tried yoga?'#/gen#like. straight up every time i say 'i am in pain all the time due to fibromyalgia' they are like 'ooh studies say regular exercise helps'#and like. theoretically yes! but also. i would be lying if i said the fibromyalgia studies i've skimmed don't set off general 'bad science'#alarm bells in my brain#like... cool you performed a fibromyalgia study with... all male lab rats? mhmm? so are you aware fibromyalgia appears to occur#overwhelmingly in women? like. data seems to suggest between 70-85%?#(not that the data can't still indicate things but it certainly makes male rats a poor choice of model for tests on it)#also just... idk i've looked at some metaanalysis and been like 'okay cool theory and for all i know about human bio or bio in general that#sounds more or less correct BUT. you never discussed that one study on this subject that did NOT support your conclusion.#and that's 1) interesting when it was the most diverse group of subjects and the exceptions often teach just as much as the 'rule'#2) just shitty science. tell me how your theory is still credible when some evidence doesn't fit the model.#like... 'given that all other studies were primarily conducted on white american women in their 30s to 40s it is possible that this model#only explains (the early effects of fibro since that's a typical onset period) / (a possible genetic link primarily found in white women) /#(a possible sign of bias in diagnosis that demonstrates the possibility that there are different causes) / combinations of all of those#like... idk a paper that just throws out things that don't support it is a pretty big red flag#it doesn't mean the conclusion is entirely incorrect but it is often important to understand the context in which it applies#like... it's very easy to jump to an incorrect conclusion if you used something in the wrong context#ie: thumbs up is a good job / positive thing in a lot of western civilizations. teenage kee once went to china and discovered it to be#neutral to offensive in many areas outside of major tourist locations that were used to it#anyways i gotta sleep
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Watching Mavis contemplate the idea of herself possibly being on the path to becoming an alcoholic is strangely cathartic after how she treated me for being an alcoholic. I'd say I wouldn't wish the shit I've gone through on my worst enemy, and that's mostly true. I wouldn't wish the shit I've gone through in full on my worst enemy.
So I hope her recovery goes quick. But I also hope it sucks. I hope she gets withdrawals that she recovers from, but I hope she suffers the fevers and the chills and the cramps and the cravings and the agony. I hope she learns a lesson in how she enables and encourages the way society treats the struggling, the less fortunate, the downtrodden, the traumatised, the addicted.
I hope she learns something from this and never speculates or utters another fucking word about anyone else's coping habits or addictions. I hope she learns to stay in her fucking lane and not judge people for the methods they use to cope.
I hope she comes away with the knowledge of what her own medicine tastes like, and I hope it's bitter.
#mavisposting#tacking on that you wouldn't be having cravings for alcohol after only one drink the day before so she's defo lying for sympathy points#so y'know. as always. manipulative#i do genuinely hope she gets better if she is falling into addiction tho (which she's not because she's a liar)#but i also hope it sucks the whole fucking time she's getting better (which she won't because she's a liar)#i hope her withdrawals are short but also the worst thing that's ever happened to her#even if it's just one day of withdrawals. i hope she gets all the shit i coped with for weeks when i went cold turkey#i hope she learns how fucking hard it is and she never says another cruel word to or about addicts of any sort#i don't care if i sound cruel atp. it's 12am. i'm sleepy. i'm tired of the world's cruelty#and i'm especially tired of her woe-is-me manipulative lying bullshit#the utter fucking audacity she has to lie about this shit after everything she said about my alcoholism and drug use#she can get fucked royally actually. fuck her. i don't care. genuinely one of the worst people i've ever met and that's saying something
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i’ve had an essay in my heart about kim and his relationship to his name for a week, and i’m going to get hit by a hurricane tomorrow, so i’m going to write it while i still have internet
i see this exchange used as an example of kim being trans coded a lot, and i agree, but i also think that’s a simplification of what’s going on here. i think reading this solely through the lens of gender leaves out a lot of kim’s experience as a queer/possibly trans man of color from an immigrant family and how all those labels can interact with one another
i don’t know if “kim” is seen as a feminine name in revachol like it is in say, america. i haven’t come across any dialogue indicating that’s the case, but then, not many characters address kim by his given name. i do think it’s definitely seen as a seolite name and that a lot of those “intentions and expectations” kim’s talking about probably have to do with the stereotypes that are constantly imposed on him by other characters.
if it is seen as a feminine name, then the way it would impose gendered expectations on him would be kind of similar to the way it imposes racial expectations on him. and those expectations would also interact with each other. asian men are often depicted as being emasculated and infantilized,and they are often presented as either sexually deviant or completely desexualized. these traits are directly tied to their race and culture and are contrasted with an idealized, white, western masculinity. they’re often used to mock, disrespect, and belittle, and there’s a lot of overlap between these and stereotypes about gay men and trans men.
as a queer/trans fantasy!asian man, kim’s working against all of these racial stereotypes, and his race/sexuality/gender id and presentation/disability(asians often get jabs about eyesight), all those stereotypes compound on each other. all contributing to kim being constantly disrespected. and i think a lot of his beliefs/behavior/worldview center around trying to command the respect he’s constantly denied.
as part of that, i think kim downplays his connection to his culture, just like he downplays anything about himself that he doesn’t think is respectable. i find it interesting that the first thing he says when harry mentions his race is that his parents didn’t teach him anything, only to reveal later that they died when he was two. and the way he says it, automatically and wearily, like he’s said it a billion times, i’m willing to bet cash money that’s a rehearsed response to people asking him, “if you’re seolite why don’t you know/do xyz?” when he never had a chance to learn that stuff. he was raised in revachol, by revacholians, but no matter how adamant he is about that, he will always be seen as a foreigner in the only culture he’s ever known. because of his face and his name. and the only one of those he can change is his name.
so he thinks about what it would be like to be named something else, but decides against changing his name. i think that’s because, while he might resent the expectations others attach to it (racial or gendered), at the same time i think he’s attached to because it symbolizes a connection to a culture and a family he has few connections to. one of the only things he received from his family, and one of the only things from his culture he can feel is really his.
#long post#kim kitsuragi#disco elsyium#tbh kim is the one i wanna study like a bug#because he's super relatable to me as a queer trans mixed asian whose family left china a million years ago#like this part hit me hard tbh#i wished my name was different because it doesn't sound chinese and i'm blasian so people think i'm lying when i say i'm chinese#like how fucked up is that?#like being mixed and assimilated and unconnected to your culture while also always being seen as exotic is suuuuper isolating#and will super fuck you up#but this is also why i want to shake kim#for the same reasons i want to shake myself#like kim!#baby!#they are never going to respect you not even if youre a cop!#so give it up already with the respectability politics#quit your job#and be the weird little gaysian speedfreak you were born to be!
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almost 4am can't stop thinking about the meaning of the idiom 'to have blood on [someone's] hands'—to be responsible for a person's death—combined with the fact that Zach is the one we are specifically shown with Daryl's actual blood on his hands (once for real and once in a dream)... Not Josh who had been holding the sword Daryl fell onto, but Zach who took the sword out.
#super dark times#+ part of it that's insane to me is: Josh COULD have easily ALSO gotten (literal) blood on his hands—we see him go to check for a pulse#after Zach did... but we don't see his hands during that—they're left out of the shot! we just see his face. and when we see his hands next#there's no visible blood on them (if any got on he theoretically wiped 'em off ig? similarly Zach's hands when seen AFTER the shot of him#touching Daryl ALSO don't rlly show blood anymore—we see his hands in the leaves tho so it prob went there) BUT SO there was a CHOICE made#to give us a close up shot of ZACH pulling his hand away from the wound with blood on it... but to NOT do the same/smthn similar with Josh.#and yet ZACH is the one who CAN'T ACCEPT THE ROLE HE PLAYED IN ANY OF ITTTTT!!!!!!! GAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!#this post brought to you by me rewatching the Zach + Charlie on the phone scene and needing to just. stop and scream at Zach being#like 'Josh‚ or fucking somebody else‚ they went up there and if they found Daryl alive—' LIKE BRO. YOU *KNOW* HE WAS DEAD.#YOU KNOW. YOU KNOOOOW. YOU WERE THERE. YOU KNOW HE WAS ALREADY DEAD. the denial. the trying to find any fucking way that#there could be even a sliver of a possibility that it WASN'T even PARTIALLY his fault.... shifting the blame entirely onto Josh...#[plus like. the 'somebody else' only added in after Charlie was giving him shit for trying to complicate this more—at first he was#straight up saying Josh was the one that fucked with the body]... aghghghsfd he makes me INSANE#also fwiw. i'm forever a 'Josh didn't harm anyone on purpose until AFTER his fight with Zach at Zach's house' truther. that provides#at least SOME sort of motivation to push him over an edge into... the shit that happens. anything before that just fuckin' doesn't make#sense. To Me. ive already written a lot on my thoughts about all of that though [uhhh in the tags of my gifset of the fight at Zach's house#anyways. im also NOT trying to say 'ah so we should Just Blame Zach' because nah nah this whole thing was a fucked up accident. they're all#to blame. plus Josh did horrible shit at the end On His Own there's no way of getting around that—but the messiness of how Zach handled the#initial incident and how that ripples out across the whole movie is simply soooooooo... ghghGHGhghGHGhghghgh. To Me.#in conclusion: im soooooooo normal about the characters in this movie (<- lying)
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Dark Emma is so silly. She is doing improv.
#like akdjhkgfdskjf#many thoughts. spoilers i guess#but i'm going to start with the fact that her being good this entire time means she is just lying out of her butt and making stuff up#like how much time passed between the curse leaving camelot and them arriving in storybrook#she couldn't have thought of every single detail of her plan#emma crying on the way back while hugging hook: fuck fuck fuck uhhh 'there's no savior anymore'. mm yeah that's good they'll buy that#*emma hearing the sneeze* ''quick just freeze him with a simple spell that regina can easily figure out later''#also it does sound like emma says 'A dark one' instead of 'the dark one'#i don't think the writers thought about that#but it's fun to think of emma unable to forget when she is looking directly at hook#ouat rewatch#i am rambling
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rip to hiiragi in the moon-splitting festival arc though. first she paints a protection charm on natsume's arm, standard stuff, but even though right before this he was in a huge hurry to get back to everyone else to make sure they're safe, he's like okay now let's do you. and takes the brush and paints the same charm on her arm. uhhhh. okay. this is fine. okay. then minutes later he throws himself in front of her to protect her from a ton of falling logs with his fragile human body. like not only is he actively making it harder for her to do her job, which is to protect him, by doing stupid heroic shit that puts him in danger, but he's doing said heroic shit to protect HER? like he thinks she's a PERSON??? the fuck is she supposed to do with this shit!
#i wrote some run-on tags the other day about how my favorite storytelling device in natsuyuu is the sensei reaction shots#and one of the things i ran out of room to say is that my SECOND favorite storytelling device in natsuyuu#is the hiiragi reaction shots#because a) it makes total sense that we would want to see her reaction to natsume treating her like a person but b)#SHE ALWAYS LOOKS THE SAME. SHE'S WEARING A MASK THAT COVERS HER ENTIRE FACE.#which means that we just have to infer her reaction. which is such a funny function for a reaction shot to serve!#'hey btw this character is having feelings. not telling you which ones.'#and FURTHERMORE c) not only does her facial expression never differ but said facial expression is one of a vacant-eyed smile#which in turn means that the reaction her mask makes it look like she's having is basically 'um. what. ha ha. the fuck?'#which! i think often is what her reaction actually is! so it circles back around to being accurate! hello!!!#absolutely genius character design. i am obsessed.#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#hiiragi#my posts#f#i'm rewatching all the natori episodes because i love him but it's just reminding me how much i love hiiragi and sensei also 😩#i have other stuff i should be doing today BUT i did successfully get a fill for another themed xword so i'm giving myself a lil break#UGH natsume comes to at the end of the episode with natori's jacket draped over him and sensei lying on natsume's stomach#on top of the jacket...#these characters will be the death of me is2g
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In Clays and Creams and Yellow Music is now on ao3
Robin is gay, is the thing. She always has been.
She remembers being very small and watching the way girls skirts twirled around their knees, the way their hair would brush they collarbones and get stuck on their mouths, lips sticky with gloss and— his hair has grown out, is the thing. Since everything. Since it's all been over. He hasn't gotten it cut.
Used to be every three months like clockwork, the minute it would start brushing his shoulders. And she'd asked him once, why he bothered when it looked so nice longer. He'd tensed up, facing away from her, hands still poised above the register. And then his shoulders had dropped, all at once, forced like, and he’d shrugged. Told her he didn't like the feeling of it brushing his shoulders. He hadn't looked her in the for the rest of their shift.
She doesn't think she believed him then, either, but she hadn't known what to say to him about it (years later, in the quiet dark of their apartment, he will tell her about his first hair cut and his father and the way his hair brushing against his shoulder's made him want to cry and how confusing that was because it was from happiness and from fear and sadness and some weird twisted second-hand form of disgust (and she knows if she ever sees Harrington senior again she will absolutely break her fucking hand for the sheer pleasure of popping him one right in his great big nose.))
So, yeah. His hair is getting long, and the longest bits reach past his shoulders, now, and the front pieces are falling just past his chin, with this one extra short bit— lifted by his great big swirling cow’s-lick— tickling his cheek-bone. And he’s stopped swooping it up with too much hairspray, lets it fall soft and wispy around his face instead— and the door opens, bell jiggling, and he smiles at the pretty girl on the other side of the counter. All big and flirty-like, that one that shows off his one crooked incisor and it makes her stomach twist uncomfortably and she feels sick with it. But Steve is talking with his hands now, fingers flying as he explains the plot of whatever movie he’s recommend, and she can see the way the girl tracks them, nose wrinkling, and that makes Robin's stomach twist for a whole other reason, sinking like a rock in her fucking abdomen, tugging at her diaphragm until she can't breathe with it either. Because really, Steve’s picked up a lot of that from her and Eddie, the way he flourishes his hands. But Eddie knows better than to really do it much in public, and he’s created the kind of personae that it wouldn’t matter even if he did but Steve doesn’t have that, and he doesn’t even really know.
But Steve is ringing her up now, and they’re both smiling and the girl is thanking him and—it’s fine, really, it's all fine.
Except that now Robin's looking at his hands too, all cluttered with rings, which he's slowly been collecting for the past month now—two months? All delicate weaved silver and floral motifs, one with a small inset amethyst and one with weaving ivy (from Robin) and another, the only chunky one (one of Eddie’s)— an old signet style ring with a heavy lined moth, weighing down his pinky-finger in tarnished silver. And his nails— they’re painted. A soft pink clear coat you can barely see, except for when it catches the light just right and the florescent bulb shines in arcs across them. He'd had Robin repaint them Saturday night, after the girls had left, from a bright yellow ( his favourite colour) to this ‘so he could still wear it into work’. (When pressed he had simply stated that he'd promised El, and then, in a much quieter hushed kind of voice, that he thought it would be good for Will to have some positive roll models.) They're well cared for, Robin knows, and by turns soft and rough—slightly callused from years of sports and swinging his dumb bat at dumb terrifying monsters, but he has this whole drawer full of fancy creams and she knows that he trims his cuticles, files his nails until they are a perfectly shaped oval—
“-obin" Steve is looking at her now, head tilted to the side with that soft exasperated Robin-smile he saves just for her. "Robs?" he says again, and he laughs softly when she just blinks at him, it makes something in her stomach clench painfully. She feels sick. Is she sick? She wonders if this is all some sort of fever induced hallucination and— Steve is looking worried now, stepping closer with that little furrow between his brows, one hand lifted like he's thinking about pressing it to her forehead to check her temperature and— is he wearing lip gloss what the fuck? But— no. Steve is not allowed to look worried.
He's worried so often— about her and the kids and Eddie and even Nance and Jonathan, and there's absolutely no need for him to be looking like that right now, not about whatever is happening inside Robin's head because its nothing. So she laughs and pokes at his forehead, and he swats at her hands, still kind of frowning at her, and she knows he's still worried.
“I'm okay, Stevie, really” she says, and then he goes a little pink, the way he always does when she calls him that, fond and pleased, and he squeezes her hand tightly between his.
"You looked a little warm, are you sure?" and she doesn't stop him from pressing the back of his hand to her cheek, forehead, neck until he's satisfied. He smells like the lavender he puts on his temples before bed and like something else sweet and musky and floral. Fuck.
"See?" She says, and squeezes his other hand where they're still clasped by their sides. “All good."
He hums, still looking her over. "Alight, but let me know if that changes okay? We’re closing early to day to help out at the middle school, so I can always drive you home and then come back to finish closing up on my own.” And then he's back to work again, squinting at the computer screen and typing with his painfully slow two-fingered jabs.
And Robin's gay, is thing. She always has been. She likes women, or at least, she doesn't like men.
But Steve is—
Well. Fuck.
Part 2
#part 1#When I tell you I cried very real tears over this ship I am not lying#I read one to many NBfem steve fics and now I feel physically ill because this ship has invaded my entire brain and its all i can think abou#I'm with Robin when I say 'what the fuck'#I can't even type the ship name#anyway Robin is still a lesbian people hold tight we're going on a ride.#stobin#My writing#stranger things#headcanon#non-binary steve harrington#Tentively titled lavender haze becasue it's PERFECT but I also promised myself i would never title a fic after a TS song#but go on tell me that lavender haze (and midnights over all) isn't a good match#anyway#go forth and#die with me i guess#new hc alert#There's definitely more coming soon but if I didn't get it out of my brain and into the big wide internet im pretty sure I was gonna explode
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is it annoying when people fundamentally misunderstand your character? yes. is it highly amusing when the particular way they misunderstand you gives you a free alibi when you do certain things you probably shouldn’t be doing because they're utterly convinced it is something you would never do and would avoid ever being involved with? also yes
#it's very annoying on the day-to-day but damn if it isn't hilarious when people are arguing in your defense for something you very#clearly did. like there is no chance it was someone else and yet#me very clearly lying and not even trying to hide it: no i would never do that hehe ;)#at least 2 people: yeah dux would never do that they'd rather die than do that it could never be them#the singular person who is convinced it was me but has also misunderstood me and thinks i did it bc i'm losing it again: hmm okay#it's just so fucking funny lmao look if i'm doing shit it's for one of two reasons: instant gratification or to confuse the ppl around me#only sometimes is it me being mentally ill but actually i think it's funny when ppl think i do things bc i'm sick in the head again#because that also gives me an alibi bc who is going to come up to me and be like hey i think ur losing it again#nobody that's who but i still know they're thinking it bc 1) they're obvious and 2) everyone is a snitch here yes we are talking shit abt#each other and i have one person who will tell me everything because? idk actually they always tell me when ppl are talking abt me tho#wait btw i think i should say i only mess w my family i'm not being a menace in public again i prommy
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OPEN STARTER | Patrick Finch
"I condone lying. I encourage it, even. I recommend it. I could hardly live without it."
#;open starter#the wolf;patrick#the wolf;open#he's always the most difficult one GOSH#also you must envision he's saying this with this weird open deadpan stare where he#well how do i put it: he's clearly fucking with you but he does it with such an open genuine expression#i mean he does condone lying he's not lying here (LKDSG!!!) but he is also fucking around#so this is Patrick he's 37 or anywhere around that age he's agender primarily he/him pronouns bc whatever yknow#the agender vibes of WHATEVER i know what i'm talking about trust me i have a phd in agenderism#anyways he's an informant but about as unorthodox as you can imagine he's just fucking around and finding out frankly#very depressed very jumpy very good at hiding it lmao he's my darling ♥#he is very motherly somehow i can't explain it#he has somewhat of a history in accidentally attempting to adopt powerful young women i don't know why he???#knee-jerks into wanting to be a mother figure i don't know him that well you guys#like he met suki (ferre's kamipyre) for a few minutes one time and#days after he was wondering if she'd wore a jacket because it was cold out like--#men don't get the same kindness if you're a charming kind-hearted competent warm and humorous DAD kind of guy he's unfortunately#emotionally attracted to you? unfortunately because he hates it~ but if you're any other kind of guy you're just... you're some guy to him#yes if you're young he'll adopt you too but begrudgingly-- KLDGFGKLFDHGJF#if you're a they/them you're his kid already are you kidding that's your mum#OH I JUST HAD A TERRIBLE THOUGHT so do you know om*g*verse?? regardless of how you feel about it#it do be a thing and i just had this horrible thought about how if pat were a real guy in an established canon#he'd probs get the feminisation treatment amiright?? NO LISTEN HE USED TO BE A HUGE WOLF#AND HE'S ACTUALLY FILLED WITH SO MUCH RAGE AND WRONGED PRIDE#patrick is gentle when he likes you and because he's Smart he doesn't just BITE out of nowhere he's always been like that#Fenris was known for being INCREDIBLY well-spoken BUT ALSO A HUGE PROUD WOLF#LIKE BIG WOLF-- it doesn't show but he's Very Proud and STRONG and ??????#;queue#i picked a gif came back and realized i lost it there for a sec NO MATTER makes for good entertainment
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People keep misunderstanding the Blackwall post and it drives me nuts, because my issue is not that characters in-universe demonize him for it. The hypocrisy of Cullen fucking Rutherford, Meredith's favourite mage murder machine who's for sure killed or been part of the killing of more children than Blackwall ever did or was, being the quest's mouthpiece is an issue, but that's a slightly different thing. I do not need five million people jumping down my throat to go "But he did a bad thing and people are mad about it in-universe!!!!!" I understand that, thank you. I get it, I get it, he did A Bad. It makes sense that a lot of people don't like him for it.
The issue is that the narrative of the game demonizes him for it. We don't get a single other perspective. We don't get any opportunity to suggest that maybe people need to lay off or even to point out that the people demonizing him for it have done things that are just as bad if not worse; I say again, Cullen is the mouthpiece for this quest, and we know the murder of children is pretty standard procedure for the Circles even outside of the hellhole that is the Gallows (hello, Harrowing!), but the game refuses to let us say a word about that. Think back to all the other characters who've done shitty things; you can usually agree that they did something necessary if not right, and even if you can't/don't want to do that there are usually options that allow you to lessen the burden of guilt or absolve them in some ways! It is only with Blackwall that the narrative bends over backwards to say he's the bad guy, and that's especially egregious in Inquisition because... well, let's be honest, when you're working with the Chantry most of the cast has done or been involved in worse. The game pushes us to agree that Blackwall is the worstest ever for something that is no worse than what other people in the game have done. Cassandra and Leliana both served the Divine directly, obeying all her horrific orders! Cassandra's whole order covered for the atrocities Templars committed! In the books Leliana acts as go-between for Justinia subtly giving Celene the go-ahead to deal with the elves of Halamshiral however she saw fit (nothing can convince me that Justinia and Leliana did not both know that would end in bloodshed) and in DA2 she's openly checking to see if there should be an Exalted March on Kirkwall because the mages are revolting against their inhumane conditions! Cullen was Knight-Captain in Kirkwall! So I'm sure as shit not going to passively accept the game trying to tell me that this guy has committed the worst crime ever because he murdered a few children when the Chantry most of my advisors help run kills more than that every day. That's my issue with Blackwall's quest, not the fact that the characters don't approve of him killing children. Can't believe I have to say that.
#dragon age inquisition#it's not about the in-universe reasoning! it's about the game trying to force a position onto my character!#MY CHARACTER WHO HAS NO REASON TO SEE ORLESIAN NOBILITY AS MORE VALUABLE THAN ANYONE ELSE!#sure children died and that sucks but he's stuck dealing with a templar and a seeker and THE LEFT HAND OF THE DAMN DIVINE#and blackwall's one of the few members of the inner circle who isn't a dick about him being an elf OR a mage#you think he cares about some dead orlesian noble brats right now when caring means losing one of the only decent people he's got?#BECAUSE HE DOESN'T BIOWARE. HE REALLY REALLY DOESN'T#LET MY BOY SAY THAT HE DOES NOT GIVE A SINGLE FLYING FUCK ABOUT ORLESIAN NOBLE BRATS RIGHT NOW BIOWARE#also frankly working for the inquisition is punishment ENOUGH for most things#also i'm still mad that a non-andrastian quiz can't go 'uh... in the name of andraste i absolve you' about it#hello bioware have you heard of a thing called LYING
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[𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚣𝚞 𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚗'𝚜 𝚝𝟷 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚊] 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛
i hope you all know that i do my evil genius laugh whenever i come up with the voice drama titles
shun's voice drama is here! (yes, i decided to post it before akio's trial results, i got tired of waiting dhdjdkd) again, this one was a bit hard to write. i didn't know how i want it to go, but i knew that shun is supposed to say his t1 trailer voiceline. so you'll finally find out the context for that voiceline!
(note: i probably should mention that i didn't write shun's character with any specific mental illness in mind. it's just hard for him to tell what's real and what's not and his brain makes him forget about all the bad things that ever happened to him to "protect" him. this is actually something that often happens to me as well. so yeah, he just acts like that because of stress.
however, remember that shun is smarter than he looks and he will take advantage of people knowing that there's "something wrong" with him. so yes, it doesn't mean that he's actually faking it, he really does have memory problems, but he still can pretend to forget something on purpose. this is why eiji wants miki to ignore all that and says that shun is either a huge liar or he's just dumb. (sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, by the way, but.. that's just what kind of person eiji is, he doesn't care what problems you have, you're just another murderer to him)
anyway, that's it, i hope you enjoy this voice drama!)
(divider link)
(sounds of footsteps)
Eiji: Now this.. this is a weird one.
Eiji: I mean, most of them are weird, but Prisoner 003 is one of the most unforgivable ones.
Miki: Really? Why?
Eiji: You'll see. Just remember not to fall for his tricks.
Miki: .. To be honest, I think you see everyone here as unforgivable, Eiji-san.
Eiji: Of course I do. All of them are murderers, Guard 002. All of them deserve to be punished for what they did.
Miki: .. Hey, Eiji-san.
Miki: Do you.. want something bad to happen to the person who hurt you in the past?
Eiji: !..
Eiji: W-what does that mean?
Miki: I mean.. Aimi-chan was right about your injuries, wasn't she?
Miki: So.. would you take revenge on the person who brought you so much pain?
Eiji: Why would you bring up this topic now??
Miki: BECAUSE EVEN IF I BRING IT UP LATER, YOU'LL STILL REFUSE TO ANSWER!
Miki: So tell me, Eiji-san, would you hurt that person back?
Miki: Actually, would you.. kill them?
Eiji: ...
Eiji: I.. I would love to see that person die.
Eiji: He deserves it.
Miki: See? That would make you a murderer too. Even if you had a sympathetic reason, you would still look like a sinner in your own eyes.
Miki: So.. I just want you to at least try to understand these people. Not all of them are cruel and cold-hearted murderers. Some of them would never kill anyone if it wasn't for the circumstances.
Miki: We can't just vote all of them guilty without even trying to listen to them!
Eiji: .. Prisoner 003 is waiting for us.
Miki: .. Right.
(door opens)
Eiji: Well, hello there!
Shun: ...
Eiji: Hellooooo-
Shun: ...
Miki: Um, can he even hear us?
Eiji: Well, I will make sure he does hear us.
(Eiji loudly slams his fist on the table)
Shun: Ah!
Shun: W-why would you do that?..
Eiji: Because you wouldn't answer.
Shun: I..
Shun: I.. didn't know how to answer.
Eiji: You know you can just say hello back, right?
Shun: Can I?
Eiji: (to Miki) Now, you see what I meant by him being the weird one?
Miki: Yes, but..
Miki: I kinda understand him.
Miki: I'm also too shy to say hello sometimes.
Eiji: .. You know what, you both are weird actually.
Eiji: Anyway, Prisoner 003, Ishizu Shun, 24 years old.
Eiji: Finally, I was starting to get tired of high schoolers.
Miki: But I'm also-
Eiji: You don't look much smarter than them though, Shun.
Shun: .. Sorry, I guess.
Eiji: Honestly, I'm surprised that you even managed to commit a murder.
Eiji: You don't look like the sanest person, so I can imagine you murdering someone, but also..
Eiji: You're kinda dumb.
Shun: Sorry-
Shun: Wait, murder?
Shun: So.. this really is a prison..
Eiji: Yes, this is a prison and you can die here if we decide you don't deserve to live.
Shun: D-die??
(Shun stands up)
Shun: No, listen, I can explain! I'm sure that all of this is a mistake!
Shun: I mean, yes, I did commit murder but..
Eiji: See? You just admitted that you're a murderer.
Eiji: Why should I forgive you after hearing that?
Shun: Because I had my reasons!..
Shun: I.. I had no other choice!
Eiji: Really? Just how bad was your situation if you had no choice but to kill someone?
(Shun sits down)
Shun: .. I just wanted to protect the person I love, that's all.
Miki: The person you love?
Miki: Like a family member or a friend?
Shun: No, my girlfriend.
Eiji: .. I refuse to believe that you had a girlfriend.
Eiji: I'm looking at you right now and I feel like the only woman who has ever hugged you was your mother.
Miki: Well, in my opinion, Ishizu-san is very pretty-
Shun: Um, I did have a girlfriend..
Shun: But we broke up.
Eiji: Okay, you dating someone doesn't sound so surprising anymore.
Miki: I'm so sorry to hear about that..
Eiji: Let me guess, she realized how creepy you are?
Miki: Eiji-san!
Shun: No, he's right. She thought I was too weird and.. decided to leave.
Eiji: Good for her.
Shun: And she got a new boyfriend right after that.
Shun: And he wasn't a good person.
Eiji: You were just jealous, weren't you?
Shun: No, no, he really was a bad person! He was always so rude to her, he didn't care about her wishes, he only cared about himself..
Shun: And I just.. I had to do something about it. I had to protect her from him.
Shun: I knew that if I let her stay with him.. he will hurt her sooner or later.
Eiji: Yeah, and killing him surely was the best option.
Shun: .. Well, what would you do if you ended up in a situation like this?
Shun: Wouldn't you try to protect the person you love more than your own life?
Eiji: I would just move on.
Eiji: She's not your girlfriend anymore, sure, maybe her new boyfriend really did treat her badly, but it's not your job to fix her relationship with him. It's not your job to save her.
Eiji: Also, think about it. She must be a smart woman, if she realized that you're weird and your relationship is unhealthy and decided to end it.
Eiji: So why would she suddenly start dating a person who was even worse right after breaking up with you?
Shun: .. M-maybe she actually wanted to leave him, but he wouldn't let her..
Eiji: Oh, now you're just trying to make yourself look better than him.
Eiji: It was so kind of you to let your girlfriend, who was terrified of you, by the way, leave! You're not like her new boyfriend at all!
Shun: Ah!..
Shun: S-stop pulling my hair..
Eiji: I hate guys like you.
Eiji: If I could, I would just execute you right here and right now.
Shun: Stop, just stop already! It's too painful!
Eiji: IT'S NOTHING COMPARED TO WHAT I ACTUALLY WANT TO DO WITH YOU!
Shun: SHUT UP AND LET ME GO!
Eiji: ...
Miki: ...
Shun: *heavy breathing*
Shun: .. Hey, what just happened?
Shun: Guard-san, can you stop doing this to my hair? It's kinda uncomfortable..
Eiji: .. You really are stupid.
Eiji: HOW COULD YOU FORGET WHAT HAPPENED LIKE A SECOND AGO?
Shun: *screams*
Shun: Please, Guard-san, stop this! I'm scared!
Eiji: DO YOU REALLY THINK I'LL FALL FOR THAT?
Miki: Leave him alone, Eiji-san.
Miki: He's scared, he has no idea what's going on, we won't learn anything from him if he doesn't calm down!
Eiji: It's okay, we can just watch his video later-
Miki: Shut the hell up and listen to me for once, Eiji-san.
Eiji: ...
Eiji: Heh. Do what you think is right then.
Miki: Thank you.
Miki: Now.. You're Ishizu Shun-san, correct? Do you remember that?
Shun: Yes.. Yes, I think I do.
Miki: Okay. What can you say about your life in Milgram? Is it comfortable?
Shun: .. I guess? It's not that different from my apartment anyway.
Miki: Oh.. I'm sorry to hear that your life before Milgram wasn't that good either.
Shun: It's okay, at least I don't feel as lonely as I used to before coming here. Eiko-san and Kei-san talk to me a lot. To be honest, sometimes I feel like they are.. um.. "interested" in me.
Eiji: Of course Kei would be "interested" in you.
Shun: But then I said that I'm taken and Eiko-san left me alone. Kei-san, on the other hand.. didn't.
Eiji: Of course Kei would-
Miki: "Taken".. Huh.
Miki: I apologize for asking this, Ishizu-san.. you probably don't remember, but you've already said that your girlfriend broke up with you.
Miki: However, you still say that you're taken.
Miki: So I wanted to ask.. Are you dating anyone currently?
Shun: I did.. say that?
Shun: My girlfriend..
Shun: Uh.. which one?
(bell rings, machinery sounds)
Eiji: Guard 002, it's time. We'll find out how many girlfriends he had after we watch his video.
Eiji: Seriously, just what do women see in him..
Miki: Wait, but this doesn't make any sense!
Miki: If you were so loyal to your ex-girlfriend, then why would you start dating someone else?
Miki: Please.. try to remember that, Ishizu-san. I just want to understand how your crime went and I feel like that information is important.
Shun: I can't promise anything, uh.. Guard 002-san.
Shun: I'm sure I will forget even this moment soon.
Miki: .. I see.
Miki: Eiji-san, you can start.
Eiji: Thanks for the permission, I guess?
Eiji: Prisoner 003, Shun, sing your sins!
═════════•°• ⚠ •°•═════════
#YES MIKI IS FINALLY GETTING THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT THAT SHE DESERVES#she did it everyone. she said hell in the third voice drama already. maybe she will even say fuck in the fifth one#i mean. i'm pretty sure the fifth vd will have a lot of swearing anyway because. you know. kei and eiji in the same room#also eiji gets told to shut up two times in this vd. my babygirl i am so sorry#i'm really curious to see what you guys think about this one bc i spent a lot of time thinking about his canon verdict too#though honestly shun is kinda.. he's kinda like haruka like he shouldn't be here he should just get therapy#.. or again who knows maybe he's just lying again! you can never be sure#also. NOW DO WE REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT EIKO AND SHUN'S RELATIONSHIP IN HER PROFILE#🎤 voice dramas! 🎤#💔prisoner 003: ishizu shun 💔#🗡️guard 001: sanada eiji 🗡️#🌼guard 002: andou miki 🌼#milgram#milgram oc#milgram project
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Someone asked me about commissions earlier, which only happened to me once before by a friend, and I'm freaking out a bit, but more on the panicky side
#i always liked the idea of someone enjoying my art to the point of wanting to commission me#but now i don't feel deserving of it#and drawing for someone else - especially with monetary expectations just makes me so nervous#I'm also not sure i want the connection between money and fandom#but i also keep saying i wish i could have a job in art one day like a fucking clown#heLP#i hate that whenever i receive a compliment (in a roundabout way or not) my brain tries to convince me that everyone is lying to me#i should start trying to gaslight myself into the opposite#i don't think my view on my art is as distorted as it used to be#but i also still see all the flaws and so i get sad whenever i receive a compliment????#this isn't normal right
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Actually nobody ever talks about how cruel it is that women's clothing sizes aren't standardised
#an XS in one store is too big on me and in other stores i'm a clear M#the bra i'm wearing right now is somehow too small for me but i KNOW that i am not an E cup. i KNOW i'm not#WHO is lying to me here bc i measured myself by the store's rules too. and apparently fucked the cup size.#i have to go buy another bra and if i can't find a good + pretty one i'll end it all#saying this bc i also saw the cutest sweater but the XS on me looked like i stole my bf's clothes#which is to say it looked sloppy
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