I think people using Euron teaming up with a woman theory due to Aeron's vision on Twow .But your speculation about him teaming up with the Others got me thinking .What about if that woman is the Other's queen or smth ? Similar with how a former lord commander of the night's watch (the night's king) was with and Other .

Wasn't the Nights King wife a Corpse Bride? That sounds like it'd progress the story towards War with the Others, give us more info about the Others, and fit the Horror Villain themes of Eurons story.

I think Euron could team up with a woman, like the Corpse Bride (he's after a "bride" afterall) but I dont think it'll be Cersei or Dany. I could be wrong about Cersei ofc but I'd be surprised. I'd want him to team up with someone to progress the story towards the War for the Dawn.

At first, I thought he would team up with Cersei to use the inevitable KL burning as a human sacrifice event but I dont like that actually. KL burning needs to be a direct result of Cersei's (and probably JonCon) decisions. This is her city, her fire, her throne and she's gonna burn it down before she let's anyone take it from her ... or something like that lmao. I dont want Euron to have an influence there, and its not needed bc we can clearly see where its all going with Cersei becoming Aerys 2.0, JonCon and the bells, the blacks versus the greens, etc. But if Euron isn't gonna have a part in KL burning then what's the point of him being in Cersei's story? That's the big event, the final showdown (for her) most likely.

I guess maybe he could still use it as a human sacrifice event depending on how the magic works but who the hell knows lol.

There's also Lady Stoneheart to consider, another Corpse Bride. Her future is largely unclear imo except that she's probably going to receive the gift of mercy from Arya. Until Arya shows up, who knows what's gonna happen with her? Euron could promise her death to every single Frey or something like that?

ANYWAYS! Yeah it's still certainly possible he's going to team up with a woman at some point, I just don't think it'll be Dany or Cersei. It's possible Aeron saw a potential future of Dany if she did join forces with Euron but, again, I don't think that's likely to happen. I think Euron will definitely try to reach Dany thru her dreams again (yay more creepy rape dreams for us to read 🤢) but I don't think that's gonna work out for him. In fact, I think Dany will recognize him from her dream and it'll horrify her. She's not even safe in her dreams until he's dead.

My main thing tho is that his team up has to progress the story towards the Others imo and I don't think an alliance with Cersei would do that unless it's to use KL burning as a human sacrifice, and I don't think that added motivation is necessary to build up KL burning. But that's just me and my opinion.

nattie my darling!!! 💍💍 here's your writing game today:

put the first sentence of your last 5 fics (and/or the wips you're working on if you want!!) here. are there any consistencies between them?

also write 5 sentences on your newest wip hehehehe >:)

sorry im finally answering this now!! ily gi darling 💍💍thank you so so much for sending this to me and im sorry it's late, been a busy few days but it's i've realized that there is definitely a trend in how I open fics, like it's a monologue kinda opener and it kinda feels like those 4th wall breaks in fleabag (idk if that's even right but i think that's the vibe)

okay i'm going off ao3 and some little wips or 6ss ideas i got on here, so first sentences from 5 fics/wips lets go!!

so this is from my christmas camsco fic, Snowed in on ao3 as a gift to @puppywritesthings

Bosco sat on the couch in the apartment, watching the snowfall before sighing, getting up from the couch and checking her phone.

2. this one is from a halloween spisey special fic, Movie night, on ao3

Loosey always loved Halloween, like loved loved Halloween, especially the scary parts of it.

3. this is a mirinami vampire wip i have, not sure if i'll get back to it but we'll see 🤷‍♀️

Mirage groaned, her head pound and eye unfocused as she blinked.

4. another mirinami fic i wrote when i was sleep deprived at awake a 7am after falling asleep at 3am after writing a paper lol, im surprised this is even coherent

Another day, another paycheck, Mirage thinks as she makes it to her makeup station.

5. this is one of my favs! it's the first sentence from the sashnetra breakup au (ithink it was a lil duo but not sure??) and i really really enjoyed this cause you know how much i love kidfics <33

Kerri was curled up in Sasha’s lap under a heavy blanket, staring intently at the screen while her mother gently ran her nails through her brown hair.

and nowww here's my big labor of love for like the past MONTH cause i have had this idea for sooo long and i finally decided to but my money where my mouth is so here is the last 5 sentences of my newest wip

Jasmine stirred, her arms reaching out in the bed but she was met with the covers, cold and unwelcoming to her hands. She blinked awake, seeing the empty spot next to her and it sent a wave of cold down her spine. She sat up, looking around the room. Her dress was still on the floor and the place was a mess from their stumbling in the dark, but Daya’s were missing, not even crumpled up onto a chair like how she remembered from last night. She pulled the sheets around her body, hugging them close as her eyes started to water, her mind spiraling out of control as all the thoughts in her head began to scream at her.

enemies-to-lovers w/ jaehyun (college!au edition)

okay you both literature majors with a theatre minor

idk why,,, I just see jaehyun as a hot English major like some glasses, a cardigan and a classic book like Jane eyre or something oof

that's hot

okay okay okay

you two have never been the greatest of friends

scratch that,,,, you two haven't ever been friends.

you have hated his guts ever since that one project to student direct a show

that didn't work out because even though the show was phenomenal you wanted to claw jaehyuns eyes out

why? because he continuously wanted to make it traditional like nO "Juliet has to be M O R e D RaMaTic"

which you would counter with "SHUT UP JAEHYUN SHES DOING FINE"

*youre doing great sweetie*

you didn't expect to have another class with jaehyun this semester,,, you believed you had done your best not to sign up for classes he wouldn't take

you were wrong,,,, every,,,,, single,,,,,class,,,, had him it

one day you were walking to class

it was the dreaded 7am class,,, even tho you only had it once a week

,,, still ,,,

as you walked you were looking at your phone to change the song ,,,,

but right when you looked up,,, someone knocks into you ,,,,

pouring hO T coffee directly onto you and staining your new shirt :((((

when you looked up you met eyes with no other ,,,,,,,,,,, Jung yoon oh ,,, (everyone calls him by his pen name jaehyun)

he panicked,,, trying to say sorry but you weren't  having it

you already hated him,,, this gives you more of a reason to claw his eyes out

"I'll pay for your dry cleaning !!"

you just picked yourself up and walked off,,, continuing to walk to the 7am class

,,,, he feels really bad :(((

after the class he tries to say sorry again

but you ignore him and walk back to your dorm ,,, to where your roommate asks why jaehyun was standing outside

at this point you get annoyed bc ,,,,, why won't he JUST L. E AVE YOU ALONE

you got outside,,,, a tall (handsome) jaehyun standing there writing something in his notebook

you clear your throat to announce your presence

"y/n!!!" he smiles sadly when he looks at you,,,, you're still wearing the stained shirt

"I'm really sorry,,,," "I don't care you probably did that on purpose "

"w-why would I do that???"

"you hate me don't you???"

"what no??? I don't hate you what makes you think I ,,,,,"

his face goes red,,,, you dont really question it

"is that all you have to say? I have homework to do"

you turn to go back into your dorm ,,, but he grabs you back *YOU ARE MY DESSSTINNYYYY*

"let me make up for the shirt please,,, it's the least I can do I feel really bad,,, we can ,,,, go to the cafe down the street"

you hesitated,,, but you know he wouldn't stop he was going to persist

"fine,,, we can go after romantic lit tomorrow "

cUE JAEHYUNS HEART TO BURST

,,,, next day~ you two go to the cafe ,,, it's still a little awkward but he tries to make conversation

"why do you hate me?"

this took you by surprise,,, "you just annoyed me during the student directing project"

"that's all??" you nod,,, there wasn't anything else that made you not like him,,, he was perfect ,,,,

he smiles ,,,, literal sunshine shooting out of his body ,,,, "im just really passionate with classical theatre"

"can we be friends,,,,I don't want us on bad terms ,,," he says softly

you,,,, nod what could possibly go wrong

after this date,,, apology hangout

you two hang out more often,,,

first it starts off with just walking to class together,,, then him walking you back to your dorm,,,, then him actually coming inside to do homework together

,,,,, occasionally you two would go see shows together ,,, he also asks you to join him on open mic nights ,,, you go to support him as he reads his poems

you finally find out that whenever he's writing in his notebook is really lovely poems

one day as the two of you were working on an English assignment ,,,, he turns to you ,,, "come to open mic with me tonight,,, wear something nice"

you were ???? but said okay bc you truly enjoyed listening to him read his works

the night falls,,, you wore something nice as he said,,, and now you two were both walking to the bar it was being held at

"listen to my words carefully tonight " he says before you two walk in,,

you sat at the table,,, the nerves grow in you as he makes his way to the stage

what could he have possibly meant

"I see you whenever I close my eyes,, I hear you whenever I cover my ears,,when I think of you even if you're in a place where I can't touch you,, I can feel you,, when my moon rises your sun rises as well under the same sky ,,, in a different time,, our hearts are connected under the same sky,,, you and i,," *cue the snapping*

you flush a bright red,,, was this his confession,, what else could that have meant,,

your fingers begin to tremble as he makes his way back to your table

the room was dark ,,,so you couldn't tell he was blushing hard too

"did you like it?"

you couldn't ,,,, answer him,,, no words could escape you ,,, so all you do is nod

"will you be my star crossed lover?"

"J A EHYUN THAYS NOT A GOOD THING"

he laughs,,, it was cute ,,, the way he threw his head back and tried to cover it with his hand ,,, "will you be mine? is that better"

"yes jaehyun,, I'll be yours"

cue ,,,, fireworks

dating jaehyun,,, would be so fricking cute

he's always with you,,, not that he's clingy but he really enjoys your presence

you get to meet his friends,,, music major mark,, dance major taeyong,,, other literature major doyoung,, they're all really cool and they love teasing the two of you

"did you know jaehyun wrote another poem all about y/n,,, it was like stars and moons are beautiful but looking at you i swoon"

cue jaehyun running after mark

you think it's sweet,, and you always sneak peeks at his notebook to see all the cringy cute fluffy stuff he writes about you

you two still go to shows together,,, this time you get to hold hands !!! wow !!

he's really passionate about his major,, especially his minor,, every time a deadline comes up he gets super stressed,,, especially when it comes to projects he has to write stuff for (plays, poems)

he'd always come to your dorm to destress,,, youd let him lay his head on your lap so you can run your fingers through his hair and just talk to him until he falls asleep ,,, his favorite thing is your voice ,,, and listening to your heartbeat whenever you two cuddle ,,,

he's a small fluff ball that knows what he wants,, and that's jaehyun for ya

tldr; you two are a cute couple,,, but you would never student direct with jaehyun ever again :)

Episode 5 - What If I Say My Name Is Lorde - Captain

Format: The Greenhouse

Eliminated: Blake (Venus Flytrap)

CAPTAIN

waking up to read that there is a tie between my bestie, mario and kaleigh and that i was the original target <3 see. i told yall when every time someone said i'm safe, i'm not. and now i'm pissed so i'm gonna just copy everything i wrote in my confessional here. THEY FUCKING WANTED ME OUT FIRST THEN THEY SWITCHED TO JENNET u see that?? u see how they’re scared of two pocs besties working tgt they told jennet they’re not on my priority list well stop dming me while i sleep maybe fuckers? these whites are fucking fake and so self-centered do i need to beg every white american to talk to me at 3am my time? girl no yea they wanted to target me at first because blake must think he’s not on my priority list for sure self-centered gay u’d love to see it huh i’m gonna venus flytrap that white ass

i mean i'm happy i survived but it won't be the same without my bestie jennet. we've been wanting to play together and our time was cut short because some white gays are so insecure and self-centered? so they decided to go for pocs? cute look on you babes.

#JusticeForJENNET https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/831702842733232148/842243242359128084/goodbye_bestie.mp4

XAVIER

We could have handled last round better

CAPTAIN

blake is why people are homophobic. period.

lots of details in my DR in the server i couldn't bring myself to do another entry because i was confused about all that "talk" but to sum up, nicole told me everything and blake told me everything too. he straight went up to me and said sorry i said ur name :why: and because i didn't tell me what went on (because i forgot.. like i don't think about this game all day. i also have something to do in my life) and i didn't tell him that i was in another alliance. as if he would tell me like PLS. ur just so entitled.

XAVIER

Blake has been going to us (Greenhouse) apologizing for his words during the call. I think Blake is scrambling. It is too much for just one sentence said during the call. Overcompensating, I think. Now Captain wants to target Nicole and Blake. Jarod wants to target Lindsay and William. I like Jarod, but he definitely is playing two sides now. Being on our (Greenhouse) side, but also on the side of Jarod-Blake-Autumn (though not too sure anymore how strong Autumn is with that trio). Captain wants to try a POC alliance. If Autumn is open, and if Jennet or Mario are the ones who come back from the buy back, that might actually work. And it would be very cool to see that happen.

JAROD

LORDE

what if i say that my name is lorde and my secret word is captain.. lets just do that

CAPTAIN

daisy and lanie coming back... hmm idk we're still need to wait and see if they want to work with me or not. i didn't do anything wrong to daisy so she might want to work with me. lanie tho, i voted her out but i literally explained everything that went down that round to her and threw will under the bus a bit. but will she want to work with me? idk. and i know blake is gunning for a flytrap so i need to get it or he'll flytrap my asian ass.

AUTUMN

CAPTAIN

okay lanie told me that she told william she didn't wanna do me in the first vote but of course, i didn't get told that. and it made sense cause like lanie played with me so she should know that our timezones are different and it is hard for me to talk to ppl when i go to bed. we'll see how it goes.

XAVIER

So I checked out early last night because I wanted to watch Ragnarok on Netflix and didn't want to keep checking my phone. I thought when today came around, there would be more people who have played. Um... just one other? 2 rounds? And no one online to play? I tried approaching Kaleigh and Lindsay but no response yet. I guess no one wants to look like they want it too much? But hello, we are in a game, of course everyone wants it. There are a lot of, let's just see what happens, instead of going for it. Maybe the VFT plays into that because it is in play as both Captain and Blake want it. And my fear is if I make it in the GH, nom Blake, he gets the VFT and use it on me again. Ha ha what a trip if that happens.

So I wasn't going to play but Nyx messaged and said they wanted to play. But they wanted to rig it. I didn't want to, I want a chance to win of course. And I did :) Hope they aren't too bummed about it. I am in the GH I think, with at least 3 (Nyx beat Lanie) points. I know Jarod is in there too by beating Daisy.

Two Greenhouses in a row, but hope history doesn't repeat! 

CAPTAIN

last night before i went to sleep, i thought to myself what if i get the one that nom ppl and the nominee will get a seed to nom me so i could get another seed. then, i went to bed thinking it might be a bit too much. but BOOM, i woke up today and saw jarod have this same plan so that's good. we communicate telepathically it seems. i just need to win the seed count comp and get 2 more seeds but like idk about my puzzle ability GRRRR!! but i'll try my best. i just wanna get the flytrap before i get flytrap'ed out.

LORDE

i'm cosplaying as lorde again and lorde wishes captain a successful bidding tmr

CAPTAIN

yall idk if my puzzle time would be good enough to win seeds and i just found out william has 0 seed

LANIE

IM BACK IN THE GAME AND WE’RE IN A GREENHOUSE ROUND! BRO GREENHOUSE IS MY SHIT it’s such a good format ahhh. None of these hoes know the greenhouse like I do honey. I’ve played it like 18 times.... probably the most out of everyone.. and IM A HOST OF THE ORG PLZ AND IM PLAYING AN IRL GREENHOUSE WITH TAYLOR ON THE 29TH AHH But on a serious note, I’m back in the game and I don’t trust ANYONE on my tribe that voted me out, especially my love William. Love him as a person but I’m gonna get him in this game at some point, you wait and see! He just agreed to throw the RPS challenge to make up for voting me out but HONEY IT’S NOT ENOUGH LMAO. He’s probably on the bottom of my trust list. At this point in time, I trust Jarod, Daisy, Lindsey, Captain, and Blake (even though the last two voted me off, but they were told convoluted information so I don’t blame them). I will work with Nyx but I don’t trust Nyx as much as I would like. I want to talk to Kaleigh more, and idk Xavier well but we’ll talk I’m sure. For this greenhouse round, Jarod is sunflower meaning he can put up TWO houseguests. HES PUTTING UP CAPTAIN AND I! But this is a strategy. There’s a power called the Flytrap, which the holder can use to take out any single person that they want. Captain has enough seeds to buy the flytrap, but so does Blake. WHOEVER WINS THE FLYTRAP WILL LIKELY LEAVE ME SAFE because I trust both Blake and Captain. People are gonna see Jarod put up two allies and flip their shit, but trust that this is all in typical Greenhouse strategy hehehe.

CAPTAIN

yes its time for an update! a lot has happened since yesterday... so lets begin with last night, i went to sleep and had the auction in my mind SDFSDFSD i actually woke up before my alarm went off like twice. the first time, i woke up and checked my phone.. it was like 7am and then i went to bed and i dreamed that the auction was already over and i missed everything DSFDFSDFSDF PLEASE! so i woke up right after and phew it was only 8.15am methinks so like 45 more minutes.. anyways!!! blake dm'ed me before the bidding and told me he would go for a flytrap... i mean i know that already and he said he wanted it because its been on his mind. PLEASE its been haunting me since last season.. and i didn't reply to him but i was talking to lanie about seeds too and i think lanie told blake i asked her for seeds? so blake came to me again and said 'Not you asking people for seeds' or something. like mister. and what about it? lanie knew about my plan of getting the flytrap and u just didn't know about it. so just sit down and relax god damn. oh and i found out will won the seed comp which was a no no cause will would give his seeds to blake for sure. and before the auction began, i think blake would have like 15 seeds? but he actually had 18 seeds. i was so lucky i outbid him. whew. and like he told me he had only 2 ppl giving him seeds while everyone prob gave me their seeds. and um? what about it? do i need to feel bad for you when you literally targeted me last round? white twink tears i guess. he tried to get me to promise that i won't flytrap him out but i haven't promised him. i said i'm down but its not a promise right? so yea i would flytrap him out. while lanie is in my dm like don't flytrap blake she loves him. MISS THING. I JUST TOLD YOU HE TARGETED ME LAST ROUND???? like god.

hey i'm back!! i know that blake would prob give someone his seeds that he has so we have to be careful about that in next week. imma need to try to win the greenhouse comp. fingers crossed for me tho besties. this is for jennet. everything i do in this game is gonna be for jennet. no one can mess with my sister/bestie. and once you do that, you just cross the line.

i'm sorry if i come off a bit aggressive.. i don't wanna be that but you know theres something about white men that is wrong.

heyyy god i'm just so proud with myself. i actually outdid myself and i just wanna go further than this. i wanna beat my old placement.

DAISY

CAPTAIN

missing jennet hours

December 2

I’m currently listening to Overwhelming while eating candy corn Jin got me for my bday (so its been a month and yet) and I feel like I have a lot to say that I don’t have someone to tell to all in one sitting so here it goes. A few weeks ago I decided to stay at Biola for the spring but now I am having second thoughts. I am WAY happier at school away from my family/house and the thought of living at home 24/7 aka how summer was aka hell makes me actually want to kill myself. I really hope that there’s a chance Karina and I both go to Fullerton so we can have a place together.  It sounds so fantastical but also just imagining how amazing my life would be is just all I am looking forward to. I think that I am going to end up enrolling late and not get any classes I want because people have already signed up for classes and most are full lo l but yeah. I am suffering from writer’s block. I tried writing tonight and I actually started crying as I was singing but it just didn’t feel right. I really want to write songs that I can 100% sing-cry to and make it feel so right. I just haven’t found it yet.I wonder how Jon Bellion wrote these songs haha. His lyrics are just so fucking wholesome and relevant to so many aspects of my life. Listening to him tho makes me feel so fucking confused cause the first time I saw him, I was “happy” and brown haired and dating John and the last time I saw him in September I was black haired, single, and broken. I still am those three things. Work has taken over my life again.  I am scheduled Friday-Sunday for the next 2 weeks and as $$ as that made me think I was be, honestly it just doesn’t feel worth it right now. Granted, when I get paid, I will probably feel otherwise.  I’ve been telling myself and others that I am okay with things with John. I honestly can’t fucking tell what I am.  I obviously miss him. I am doing fine without him, I will keep doing fine without him, but I miss having that person. I guess it’s slowly transitioning to the point where you miss the feelings and not the actual person. But just typing that made me realize how false that is. I miss John a lot. He was so funny and caring and loved me so much. I honestly think I can now realize that he loved me just as much as I loved him. And I loved him so fucking much. Just being next to him made everything okay.  The night my mom found an empty cartridge in my room and messaged me about it asking and I thought I was done for, and all I did was just cry, John was just there and as terrified as I was, I was okay because of him.  I think its because its December and the holidays are coming and last winter was probably one of the best parts of my life so far. My 6 week winter break was full of shabu, Fiona, my new polaroid, and just freedom. I was so happy I had Sen Nick and Tyler. I was so happy I had my friends at home. Everything was just so nice. And I had the plan to go to slo with Faith before break ended, and it was just so nice. I miss that feeling of being so excited to see John again. As hard and fucking unfair the distance was being with him obviously made it worth it.  I wish I realized how unhappy John was.  But there’s nothing I could’ve done.  And I need to accept that so that I can stop hating myself for not being better.  Maybe I need to take the next semester off.  Maybe I just need to find new things I could enjoy. I don’t think I want to go to Disneyland next week with my family. My sister isn’t talking to me again. I feel like the family is broken again but its just with me. I’m slowly turning back into the person I was during the summer. There are so many people in my past that I want to rekindle things with and just fucking get a meal to catch up, but I can never do that. I don’t want to talk about John I don’t want to talk about how unhappy and depressed I am.  But I am so tired of pretending like everything is okay. I feel like deleting all social media again. Looking on insta after shifts is just shit because I just feel this urge to fucking post but i have nothing to post because I spent my night inside working. Last night was really fun though. I got off work at around 11 I think and came home and showered and was just going to be on my phone for hours till I was okay enough to sleep. I knew Shin wanted to fuck haha but I told him that I felt like shit so he called me and asked what was up and why I’m depressed.  He actually listened even though I was barely telling him everything because then he would probably think I’m insane if he doesn’t already but yeah he told me to just focus on things I love and that it really helps. It’s so admirable how much he loves working out and playing basketball. But yeah we talked for nearly an hour until he decided to get me and I came outside when he said he was here and as I walked out i noticed he was outside walking to me and he gave me a hug and we drove behind Target and sat there for maybe like 30 min just talking and listening to jbel and the script LOL HE SANG THIS ONE SONG SO FUCKING LOUD he said hes never sung that loudly in front of anyone before hahaha i wish i knew what song it was but i will cause he plays it daily. i just hate asking so im gonna have to snake a peek at his phone the next time it plays. my toes were rlly cold and so he started warming my right foot with his hands and blew air into them a lot haha it was so cute and he gave me a dank ass fucking foot massage holy shit. it hurt like a bitch but in the best way possible. my feet/ankles are always so fucked when i work. so it was especially dank. I also didn’t wear makeup and he said I look better without makeup haha i was like ooooooooooooooooooooook but rlly yeah i was happy he said that especially because I’ve been wearing makeup daily because I just hate myself without it. But that day I had a bare face and actually felt okay. He kissed me and he kept saying how he loves kissing me so much. Omg and we made out to jon b like im sorry but it was fucking amazing. ok we also fucked to him too HAHAHAHA  And then kevin told us to cruise outside cydni’s house cause him paul and esther were smoking so we went and as we pulled up, paul looked at us through his open window and we both laughed in the same explosive way HAHAHAHAH and they told us to shut the fuck up jk they just sushed us ahahahah omfg. it was just too gold. i really don’t want to ever smoke in front of shin again but yeah I couldn’t just say no to weed haha so we hit a piece which burned the shit out of my throat and I was pretty faded I guess and shin kept coughing cause we werent hotboxing the car but it was still potent and i felt bad :( and he was like IS SECONDHAND FADED A THING hahahaha and esther had her juul so i hit that and then we left the car to smoke and i smoked a stoog. oh yeah so immediately after we got out of the car to walk to their car in the beginning, we were just standing outside their car as they were sitting inside and shin like immediately took off his jacket (the warm flannel we got at pacsun whom he loves) and gave it to me even tho he was wearing a tshirt and shorts ugh. i took it off before smoking cause i didn’t want it to  smell so he put it back on and he was like “you can wear it once youre done smoking” haha. and he offered to give it back on the way back to his car but i said i was ok. then on the drive to my house i stuck my body out the window to vent out the smell LOL and it was cold as fuck but felt cool esp with shin’s crazy ass driving hahahahah and i was like i wish you had a sunroof and he was like “yeah thats my bad” and i was like NO BITCH IM NOT TRYING TO COMPLAIN ITS NOT UR BAD I MJSUT SAYING lol and shin has told me how much he hates smoking and the extent of it and how its so unattractive to kiss someone whos smoked so im like welp but as i was getting out of the car he was like yeah fuck u u smell i aint kissing you and i made a pout as i was getting out and he was like no wait and he kissed my cheek hehe. and before that he asked if i was feeling better and i said yes and thanked him and he said yeah of course anytime in a tone like ofc bitch. haha i love when he kisses my head T^T but yeah i came home around 4:40 or however long it took to get to my house and I was happy and hickey’d up and i was just so happy we ended up doing that. 

i slept right before 7am and woke up like 11 so yeah i barely slept which is probably why i felt so off today. but i just stayed in bed till my hair cut which was at 2 and kathy was so shocked to see i cut my bangs LOL going on and on about how i never wanted bangs and then i do it and i WISH I DID NOT TRIM THEM LAST WEEK CAUSE THEYRE SO SHORT NOW CAUSE THEY WERE SO UNEVEN AND I LOWKEY HATE MY HAIR AND I WISH I DIDNT GET IT CUT SHORT UGH I FUCKING HATE MY LIFE but im gonna work with it and we’ll see.  I wanna change my hair color again but idk what to change it to.  Then i went to emily’s and we picked up at unity and smoked and caught up and she was doing her interior design homework and i had to leave cause of work which sucked cause i just wanted to actually hang out but i covered shin’s shift today cause he spent all day studying so im glad i got to help him out and if it were anyone else’s shift i would’ve hated myself lol. but he didn’t call me until like 1 or something but i knew he would call eventually and he said he wanted to finish his work early so we could’ve hung out but he has way too much and so we just talked but i could barely talk cause my bitchass sister always fucking goes off about how inconsiderate i am so yeah lmao but yeah and i told him i got off work early to which he said he knew cause i got home around 11 and i ate and he calculated it and theres no way i couldve eaten after getting off at 10:30 and got home HAHAH like he cared enough to think about that.... and then i told him i have work tomorrow 11:30-5 and he said then maybe he’ll come bring me boba 

i dont expect him to but maybe he will im so fucking over work

i cant believe its already sunday tomorrow and i have to go back to school for chapel i think.  fucking kill me. i just want to have free time

Some sad shit - 23/07/17

Ams of Melbourne, also made this blog right after I wrote this in my notepad. Gita had already been in a “I can’t sleep” session. It’s during my sleepover in deedee when I didn’t sleep till 7am.

“My mind goes blank as  I open my phone. As the light hits my barely opened eyes.

Gita. Bron. Rachel. I barely knew them but the time I spent talking to them is incomparable to anything else. I’ve met them gita and Rachel only once after paragraphs of texts. Is it meeting me Is it finding out im nothing like my online self

I can’t stop thinking of Gita. She wore a buttoned up shirt and a cardigan,Jesus fuck me she looked cute. I first met her In a convention months ago but even then when my eyes met hers as she gave me her name card, my gay sirens rang out. Her voice was just exactly how I imagined it to be, did my brain just bring up the memory of her voice from the convention? The moment I heard her voice in Bali, I honestly thought I’d never wanted her to stop talking.

I was so nervous I couldn’t speak in English nor in Indonesian, all of my chances in trying to form words flew out the window.

I thought our… meet up went well. I regretted every moment I didn’t press on more romantically, there were chances that I could’ve said the right thing, flirt even.

Was that the disappointment? Or was it how ignorant I must’ve sounded to her, maybe she expected more. I was so much less.

I’m so sorry to disappoint But I miss talking to you I miss how excited I’d get when I see your name on my screen ”

Edited: I guess the worst part is I thought it went pretty well. This applies to Bron and Gita. Maybe gita even more because the only fuck up I did was not take it more boldly despite being the first date because we won't be seeing each other for quite a long time. Even then why would that stop her from replying to my memes. I guess they are memes not worth replying but I don't want to seem desperate to shoot her another text when she hadn't replied my old one but God fucking shit I just want to talk to her and listen to her and... I wish we'd be able to meet again if you wanted to