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nialledfromfics · 4 years

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The Dating Game | Chapter Three

He couldn’t get her off his mind. Her infectiously bright smile, the sparkle in her hazelnut eyes every time they locked on his. The way her hair smelled like the sweetest apples ever grown. Her soft giggle, which played over and over in his head like a never ending carousel. They way his body nearly melted any time she got close to him. He barely knew this girl, but he just could not get her off his mind.

Niall woke up early that Sunday morning after the festival so he could sneak in a small workout. But his concentration wasn’t on his squats or the thirty minutes of treadmill time he was required to do. No, it was stuck on her. On her voice, her hair, her lips, her skin. Every part of her made an aching warmth fill his belly, and his heart race like a goddamn horse in his chest. He hadn’t felt that way about someone in a long time, longer than he could remember. And he had no idea how she felt about him, or if she even thought about him at all, but he was determined to keep this girl, this girl he barely knew, in his life. Somehow.

Wiping the sweat from his browline with a small towel, Niall stepped off the treadmill and chugged back some water. He pulled his phone from the pocket of his shorts and switched off the music that had been playing through his earbuds before opening up his texts. His thumbs idled over the screen, almost like he was too nervous and didn’t know what to say and for Niall, that was something very new. He was usually a pretty confident person and had been so used to networking and meeting loads of people over the past ten years of his career, that talking to others always came easy to him. He was incredibly personable. So, sending a simple text to a girl normally wouldn’t stump him up. Normally.

Niall ran his finger over his bottom lip in precarious thought, nervously scratching his nails though the side of his beard before he decided to just bite the bullet and...hit send.

Hey Joey , it’s Niall. Just wanted to see how your date went last night. no puke I hope .

The text sent and Niall stood there in the middle of the gym, staring down at his phone like an idiot. Was he waiting for those tiny little bubbles to pop up? He wasn’t sure but he knew he wasn’t moving a muscle until he was positive she had seen it.

Joey, on the other hand, giggled like a giddy teenager as Alexis jumped up off the sofa and came bounding over to where her friend was standing. “Lemme seeee,” she whined, “what’d he say?”

“He writes like one of the kids in my class,” Joey playfully teased, Alexis gasping and swatting the side of her arm.

“Be nice.”

Joey smiled. “I’m only kidding. It’s cute actually.”

Hooking her hand on her hip, Alexis urged Joey on. “Joey, c’mon, text back. You have to text back.”

“Relax,” she replied, looking over at her best friend, “I am. I’m just...figuring out what I should say.”

Nipping at the inside corner of her mouth, Joey thought for a minute before sending a text back to him.

Hi Niall! Date was okay, no puke, thank God. How was your night?

It wasn’t but a few seconds before another text from Niall had popped up onto Joey’s screen.

N: We had a good Time. it was nice seeing ya . like talking to you .

Slowly flicking her eyes to her best friend as they both read over the text, Alexis tossed her hands up to her mouth to hold in her squeal. She was always a bit over dramatic. Joey smiled and sent him another text.

J: It was nice seeing you too.

N: I’ve asked my agent and manager about gettin you those tickets . . they’re looking around to see what they can find . It shouldnt be too hard though

J: Oh wow, that’s awesome, Niall, I really appreciate it!

N: No problem , Joey , really. I’ll definitely let ya know when I get me hands on some.

Joey bounced happily on the balls of her feet. “This is too much, you think he’s gonna ask you out?” Alexis said.

“Shhh…”

J: You are a Godsend, honestly. The best person I have ever met in probably forever.

“Wow, Jo, way to inflate his ego.”

Joey rolled her eyes at her best friend’s sarcastic comment, dropping her hands in a huff. “Shut up, he’s not like that. I’m just being nice, like you said.” She smiled big at Alexis and raised her brows.

N: Hahahahaha 😂

J: You think I’m kidding, Niall, but I’m serious lol

N: Well . . . I can say the same about you .

J: Now you’re just trying to charm me, aren’t you?

N: eh Maybe 😉

Running his tongue over his lips, Niall fought off the smirk that wanted to invade them as he softly chuckled to himself. He switched his music app back on, sticking his phone into the pocket of his jogger shorts and hopped back onto the treadmill, now having the focus to finish his morning workout.

•

The texts left a blissful smile on Joey’s face that lasted for the next few days. She’d find herself thinking about them, about him, as she was applying her makeup in the bathroom mirror each morning, or drowning out the sound of her shoes on the sidewalk every time she took Sadie for a walk. Or while reading the children their weekly storybook, and fixing herself dinner every night. Her mind was so preoccupied with the fleeting, and foolish, thoughts of Niall, that she had almost forgotten about her date that coming Thursday.

Joey would normally not agree to a date on a weekday given that she had to be at work early the next morning, but the guy she was meeting up with, Felix, was very adamant on seeing the premiere of some sci-fi movie that Joey, frankly, had zero interest in. But she decided that she should just suck it up and file it right into another one of her ‘experience’ folders. It was just a movie, right? She could live through it?

Felix wasn’t the usual type of guy that Joey would go for. He had long unruly hair, seemed a bit unkempt in his general appearance and from what he mentioned, wasn’t very goal oriented; he was in between jobs at the moment but taking his time trying to figure out what he really wanted to do. He was a slacker by all definitions. But he was really sweet in their conversations back and forth, insisting on taking her out, and she thought that there would be no harm in going on a date with him. She didn’t get home from work until a bit after 4pm that Thursday night, and made sure to hop in the shower first thing. After blow drying her long red hair, Joey slipped on a pair of ankle length jeans and a black fitted top, Sadie already jumping at her legs to be pet.

She let out a sigh and bent over to squish the little dog's face, giving her a sweet kiss on the top of her head. “You’re the only one I really need in my life, Sadie girl.”

Joey was to meet Felix at the theater complex around 6:30 as the movie was to start at 7pm. Standing outside the front of the theater, Joey watched as people went in and out of the doors, and it was nearing 6:45 by the time a car had pulled up right in front of her. The passenger door swung open and a guy wearing ripped jeans and a raggedy worn old t-shirt, and matching the pictures she had seen on his profile, stepped out. He waved to the person driving, an elderly looking lady, as he slammed the car door shut and stepped over to Joey.

“Hey, I’m Felix.”

The young woman smiled politely. “Hi, I’m Joey.”

They shook hands, Joey fumbling with keeping the strap of her bag hooked on her shoulder as Felix peered up at the large marquee sign above the entrance. “Sorry for being late, I had to wait for my grandma to get done making my grandpa his dinner.”

Her lips parted briefly and Joey pointed a finger at where the car had come to a stop. “That was...your grandmother?”

Felix nodded. “Yeah...I live in their basement. And I don’t really have a car right now, so she drives me.” Joey stayed quiet. “Should we go in?”

•

Joey was right about the movie, absolutely zero interest. And she had just about as much interest in Felix. That had to have been the longest, and most boring, two hours of her life. She was not just bored out of her mind, she was also well beyond annoyed. Not only could Felix not hold a conversation to save his life, but he dropped their only bag of popcorn into Joey’s lap when he got up to use the restroom and he also completely misread a polite lean in halfway through the movie to quietly inquire about a character and tried to unexpectedly kiss her. Totally unprovoked and very much unwanted. It did not go over well.

Walking out through the theater doors in a huff, the night air hit with a gust and Joey felt like she could finally breathe again. She quickly yanked her phone out of her bag and, without saying a word to her date, requested a Lyft home. The driver was only three minutes out. Felix followed behind as she stepped closer to the street and paused to stand right next to her. “Thanks for paying, I really can’t believe I left my wallet at home.”

Joey rolled her eyes, checking on how close her ride was. “No worries,” she told him with a forced smile. “It happens.”

He ran his hand through the front of his hair and chewed on the corner of his lip. Joey’s Lyft pulled up and she looked over at Felix. “Um...I guess I should go-”

“Hey do you maybe wanna go get something to eat? Nothing too fancy since you’ll be paying and all.” He laughed, as if what he was saying was an actual joke. It wasn’t.

Furrowing her brows, she just stared at him and shook her head. “No, thanks I’m-”

A text message coming through her phone interrupted her, the device vibrating in her hand. Joey glanced down and clicked open her messages.

N: Hey Joey. . I know this is last minute , but I just got u some tickets to a Wildflowers show at the Echo on Sunset that starts in about an hour . u down?

Her heart nearly beat out of her chest as she read over the text Niall had sent and she quickly sent him one back.

J: Holy shit, yes!! I can totally meet you there in 20?

N: yeah sure . see ya There

Clamping her teeth on her bottom lip to hold in her ever growing smile, she looked up at Felix. “Sorry, I gotta go,” she said, clambering into the backseat of her ride, “thanks for-...uh, yeah, have a good night!” She slammed the door shut and told the driver where she needed to go, the car pulling away and leaving Felix there alone to wait for his grandma.

•

The ride to the venue was one filled with giddiness and a tinge of nerves. Joey had no idea why she was nervous; seeing her favorite band live for the first time, maybe seeing Niall again, she really wasn’t sure, but she did know she was beyond excited. Coming to a stop out front of the club, Joey could see Niall already standing there waiting for her. He was wearing fitted trousers, a vintage t-shirt and a jean jacket. His hands were stuffed down in his pockets, his hair gently tousled to the side and he quietly watched people shuffling into the venue as Joey’s eyes stuck to him like there was no one else around. He looked incredible.

Climbing out of the vehicle, Joey thanked her driver and it was then that Niall finally saw her. The smile on her face was brighter than he had ever seen before, her light brown eyes sparkling in the neon lights that laced the street above them and for a moment, as his stare locked on hers, he could have sworn that everyone else around them had vanished. His heart picked up its pace as she walked towards him, flicking her long red hair over her shoulder and before he could even register what was happening, Niall found Joey crashing her body against his in a hug.

She wasn’t even thinking. She saw him standing there waiting for her, his cheeks rounding in a huge smile that caused the cutest dimple to crease his skin and for a split second, Joey lost all control over herself. Her breath caught in her throat the second her body touched his; her arms curling around his neck so tight like she was a drowning victim who needed rescuing and Niall barely hesitated before his arms wrapped around her middle. Closing her eyes as she inhaled along with him, she felt his splayed hand gently rub just a fraction across the span of her upper back before Joey clumsily cleared her throat and pulled away.

An awkward giggle left her lips but Niall just smiled even bigger at her. “It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too,” she replied, biting her lip as she took a tiny step back and adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder. “You actually kinda saved me.”

Niall’s brows wrinkled. “Yeah? How’s that?”

Flicking her stare off of his, Joey dropped her chin down. “Well, I was on another date, a really shitty date actually and you texted me and-…” she peered back up at him, “you just have impeccable timing.”

He laughed, his head tossing back a bit. “I’m glad I could save ya from another disaster.”

“Me too.”

Licking across his lips, Niall found himself locked in her gaze for a moment, unintentional but not surprising before he realized why he was there meeting her in the first place. He shook his head out of his daydream. “Oh…” he mumbled, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out two ticket stubs. “Here, these are for you.”

Joey glanced down at the tickets held out towards her and she stared at them for a second, a slight disbelief coming over her. He really did it. He really got them for her. She gently grabbed the tickets and looked back up at him. “I can’t believe I’m really holding Wildflower tickets,” she giggled, not even bothering to fight the huge smile on her face, “it’s like a dream!”

Niall chuckled, lowering his head as he carded his fingers through his hair. “Well, I hope ya have a good time.”

“Wait…” Joey tipped her head to the side, her brows cinching in, “you’re not coming in with me?”

Locking his gaze on hers, Niall’s mouth gently parted. “Did...did ya want me to come in with you?” he asked, his brows raising.

“Well...yeah,” Joey scoffed, “I-...I mean, I was hoping you would, if you don’t, like, have other plans. I wouldn’t even have these tickets if it weren’t for you.”

Niall darted his stare with hers, Joey softly biting down into her bottom lip as she waited for his answer and he gave her a faint nod, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Okay...yeah, I’d love to.”

“Yay!” she squealed, causing a chuckle from Niall. “We’re gonna have so much fun!” Handing him one of the tickets back, Joey stepped past Niall to lead the way into the venue and he followed behind her, staying as close as he possibly could.

•

He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She was the prettiest, most alluring woman he had ever seen and the way she let go to the music, the way she felt it, singing along and smiling and laughing, it was all so...captivating. Her eyes gleamed every time he caught a glimpse of them, her body moving like a dandelion seed in the wind; effortless and free. She was beautiful.

Joey did not stop smiling the entire night. Happiness seemed to come naturally to her, it lit her up from the inside and was nearly infectious. So much so, that Niall, keeping his stare on her as much as he could, found himself smiling right along with her. There was something about her that he liked, really liked, almost admired and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. But he enjoyed being around her. More than he had enjoyed being around anyone in a long time.

The concert ended a bit before midnight, and Niall and Joey filed out of the venue along with the other concert goers. Stopping right out front, Joey eased her eyes up to Niall’s as she faced him. Taking in a deep breath, they both stood quiet for a moment before a few giggles broke the silence. Joey tipped her head down in shyness before peering back up at Niall.

As his eyes fawned over her face, soaking in the beauty of the delicate slope of her nose and the fullness of her bare lips, he slowly reached out to her. Joey’s breath stalled. “May I?” he whispered. She nodded, unsure of what she was consenting to as Niall moved his hand closer and lightly brushed a few strands of her red hair from off her cheek to tuck behind her ear.

Her lips gently parted and her eyes fluttered as the warmth of his skin touched hers and Niall froze just as his fingertip slipped down the shell of her ear. Swallowing hard, he flicked his stare over hers before quickly retracting his hand, hastily shoving it into the front pocket of his pants. Joey smirked at his nervous reaction. “Thank you so much for the tickets,” she softly spoke up after clearing her throat, “I feel like I should repay you but...I don’t even know where to begin.”

“No, no...please,” Niall said, shaking his head as he attempted to run his hand through his dark hair, “no need, really. As long as you had a good time, that’s all

that matters.”

She smiled at him again. “I did...thank you.” Letting out a short sigh, Joey peeked over her shoulder at the traffic buzzing past their intersection and grabbed her phone from her back pocket. “I guess I should be getting home.”

Niall watched her click into her phone and start to scroll through. “Did you drive here?”

“No,” Joey replied, catching his stare, “but it’s fine, I’ll just get a Lyft or something.”

“I, uh...I’m only parked a couple blocks up,” he mentioned, pointing up the street from them,”if you don’t mind walkin’ a bit, I can take ya home.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course!”

A soft grin spread over her lips. “Okay, thank you.”

They began to walk in the direction of where Niall’s car was parked, not stressing on time or needing something to chat about. There was no rush, there was no pressure and Joey slowly kept pace with Niall, their shoulders bumping every so often. It was a clear night out, a soft breeze kissing their skin as the bright lights from the storefronts and the blazing of car horns in the distance seemed to drown out between their harmonious giggles and easy flowing small talk.

“By the way, that show was fucking amazing,” Joey commented.

“You enjoyed it?”

“Enjoyed it?” she laughed, “Niall, this was definitely one of the best nights of my life in, like,...forever. It was like a fucking dream.”

Niall’s head tipped back in a laugh, his hand perching on the front of his stomach. “Good,” he managed to stutter out, looking back over at her, “I’m glad you had a great time.”

She brushed some hair from her face and smiled at him. “The best time.”

“Better than your date earlier?” he asked, raising a brow.

Joey playfully narrowed her stare. “What, are you keeping score?”

“No, no...just curious.”

The young woman tilted her head down in a bashful smile before she peered back over at him. “A hundred times better than my date earlier.”

Giving her a nod, he raised his hand up and motioned a checkmark symbol into the air. “One check for me.”

Not being able to hold in her laugh, Joey pinched her eyes shut as the sweet sound left her lips and leaned her face over to rest against the peak of his shoulder. Niall slowed his steps as he flicked his eyes down, seeing just the top of her head. She quickly looked up at him, a smile still tugging at her mouth. “You are too funny.”

“I try,” he shrugged with a half smirk.

“Hey, out of my own curiosity,” Joey started, crossing her arms over her chest as they continued walking, “do you think you’d ever...join one of those dating apps?”

His brows furrowed. “Tinder?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh...fuck, no,” he scoffed, his bluntness causing Joey to cover her mouth in a giggle. Niall’s eyes went big as he caught what he had said and looked over at her, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. “I...I don’t mean that in a bad way, Joey, ya know, more power to ya and all, but, it’s just…with what I do, with who I am, I can barely trust the people I already know in me real life. No way I could trust some random strangers I met off if an app.”

Nodding her head, Joey dropped her stare. “Yeah, I mean, I obviously don’t do what you do, so I can’t really even begin to know what that’s like, but...I do understand what you mean about trusting people.”

Her tone had softened with that last bit and Niall instantly took notice. He licked across his lips as his eyes tried to read her face. “You have a hard time trustin’ people too?” he asked her.

Joey nodded and caught Niall’s gaze once more. “I didn’t before,” she began to explain, “you know, I was probably the most trusting person you’d ever meet, which...was probably a fault in the end. But my ex, Jake-...he was...not the greatest person. He was manipulating and controlling and just not a nice guy, and I wasted three years of my life on him. Even when I knew that I shouldn’t have.”

“I’m sorry, that’s fuckin’ terrible.”

“We broke up, like, two years ago, and it’s taken me that long to even think about trusting anyone again,” she lifted her shoulders in a shrug, “It’s pretty much why I haven’t started to date again until now.”

“Yeah, that makes sense. I dunno, though, I just think datin’ is...too time consumin’, ya know?” Niall said with a short laugh, holding out his hands as he looked over at Joey, “I mean, gettin’ to know someone should feel more...organic, it should come easy and not feel so...forced. I dunno.” With a little shrug, he peeked down at the toes of his shoes, “Like I said, I don’t date much. I love the actual relationship part, that’s nice, ya know, bein’ with someone, havin’ all those experiences with ‘em, but the whole...meetin’ someone for the first time and goin’ out and gettin’ to know the person...fuckin’ hell.”

He shifted his blue eyes over and locked his stare on Joey’s. “Kinda wish you could just...skip all that.”

A smile pulled at her lips and she pushed out a tiny giggle. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”

“It’s not like I never dated anyone or anythin’,” Niall went on, “Me last girlfriend...she was a great girl, don’t get me wrong, we were together for nearly a year but...it got to a point that I just wasn’t feelin’ it anymore and I had to end it. I felt horrible, ya know, ‘cause I did love her in a way, but...it just wasn’t right anymore, somethin’ wasn’t right.”

There was a fraction of quiet that wafted between them as Niall’s words left his lips before Joey spoke up. “Well...at least you didn’t lead her on for years to the point that she was expecting you to propose or some shit.”

“Oh…God,” Niall threw his head back with a loud groan, running his palms over the front of his face. “I can’t even think about that at this point in me life.”

Joey giggled again. “I’m now picturing myself married to that guy from tonight and...wow, complete shitshow.”

They both bowed over in laughter. “At least you can admit it.”

“That’s the first step, Niall.”

After a few more laughs and about half a block, they finally reached Niall’s car. Yanking the keys from his pocket, Niall unlocked it before stepping over to the passenger side door to kindly open it for Joey.

Her brows raised at the chivalrous gesture and she peered at him as she climbed in and settled into the seat. “Still trying to charm me?”

“Absolutely.”

With a lopsided smirk, he gave her a playful wink and closed her door.

Joey lived in Toluca Lake, which was about a thirty five minute drive through Hollywood from the concert venue. Not really unheard of for LA, but still out of the way from where Niall had mentioned that he lived. They had to literally pass his house on the way. If Joey had known that, she definitely would have insisted on getting a Lyft instead, the last thing she wanted to be was a bother.

Despite the extra time in the car for Niall, he rather enjoyed the aspect of driving Joey home. It gave him more time to get to know her, to talk to her. To hear her voice and her laugh and see her smile. Joey was even more enthralled with Niall. Hearing him go on and on about his music and his many passions, seeing the way his face lit up with the mention of his favorite bands and athletes. The deep tone of his voice was so rousing, his accent so sexy, it sent shivers down Joey’s spine with every mention of her name. The way his stare stayed focused on the road ahead, his big hand perched up on the steering wheel as his thumb gently tapped along with the low hum of the music that was playing on the radio.

She couldn’t take her eyes off of him.

Pulling up to the front of Joey’s apartment building, Niall stopped the car and put it in park. Joey turned her head to stare up at the modest brick-front building, and scraped her teeth along her bottom lip. She almost didn’t want to get out of the car. Looking back over at Niall, she smiled. “I had a really great time, Niall, it was nice hanging out with you. No...weird expectations, ya know?

He nodded, dropping his hand into his lap. “Yeah, I had a good time.”

“Thank you again for the tickets, seriously,” she said, “It was one of the best shows I’ve ever been to.”

“I was actually pleasantly surprised, to be honest, I had never seen them live before.”

“Now you know why I love them so much.”

They both let out soft chuckles and Joey peeked down into her lap. “Hey, um…” Niall began, causing Joey to flick her gaze back to his, “would it be weird if I, like, texted you some time? Just to, like, chat or whatever. I quite like talkin’ to ya.”

Joey tucked her bottom lip into her mouth. “I like talking to you too, that’d be great. I’d like that.”

“Cool,” Niall said, carding his fingers through his hair, “Maybe we can, um, go get some coffee or somethin’ this weekend, if you’re free or whatever.”

“Yeah, sure, that’d be fun,” she replied with a nod, reaching down to unhook her seatbelt.

Niall smiled. “Alright, well...I’ll text ya then. Have a good night, Joey.”

Opening her door, Joey stepped out of the car. “You have a good night too, Niall,” she said with a sweet smile before giving him a wave and shutting the door.

Niall watched with hooded eyes as she walked up to her building's door and put in the code, Joey sweeping her hair to rest over her one shoulder as she disappeared inside. Sitting there for a moment, Niall let his eyes fall closed and tipped his head back on the seat, a long and heartfelt sigh sliding past his parted lips

#niall #niall horan #niall fic #niall fanfic #niall smut #niall ou #slowburn #tdg #chap 3 #actually really like this chapter #we get to see more of niall and joey and thats always good ;)#hope you guys like it!#please take a read #share!!!#and let me know what you think!!!!

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mjalti · 5 years

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Im afraid that a good friend of mine has or at the very least is developing an eating disorder... but I don’t know how to talk to her about it, I don’t want to overstep or hurt her feelings, maybe she’s in denial or maybe I’m wrong, but it’s been going on for more than 6 months and I think abt it a lot, I made two or three remarks that she always brushed off. How would you go about that? I want to be firm but sensible. Hope it’s ok to bother u with this, I hope u have a lovely new year💓

there’s no real …way? to talk to someone about an eating disorder & have it be “well received” so just as a thing, please prepare for your friend to NOT want to talk about it. What you can do is set a time and just try to use “i” centric statements. so not “ you never eat!” more like “i notice how much more frequently you push food away” or “i notice how often you’re going to the gym…is there something going on in ur life?” and just try to remember that people who have developed eating disorders sometimes do so bc they get a sense of control, so they feel like their lives are out of control or their bodies are the reason for the fact that they FEEL out of control in life (grades, jobs, promotions, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc) when in reality…literally no one feels in control of their lives 9 times out of 10. so you can always, if she opens up about it, say “i also feel out of control of my future but i know that everyone our age is feeling competitive and left behind. i just worry that this idea of a quick fix will spiral into more a problem later on and i dont want to see you hurting, bc rn i can see you hurting.” but at the end of the day……for most eating disorder…they dont get solved with one conversation or one “heart to heart” & u shouldnt expect that or presume responsibility for her choices. you will eventually need to tell someone in her life who you both can trust like a parent or an aunt or a teacher or a counselor. these things dont often “solve” themselves, they require a team bc they have MANY components that your friend herself may not realize she’s going through.

#qnotqueue #trigger #Anonymous

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hello-thefatlosshabit-blr · 5 years

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The next biggest lie about living a disciplined lifestyle is that it requires a marathon of effort. It doesn’t. It only requires you manifest enough discipline and motivation to make the routine a habit. The initial resistance we encounter doesn’t last beyond a couple of months. The authors of The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Truth Behind Extraordinary Results say success is not a marathon of disciplined action. It is a sprint fueled by just enough discipline to build a habit. Habits are harder to start than they are to sustain. The key is to identify the behavior you need to adopt and then work at it long enough to make it a habit.

Researchers at the University College of London determined that, on average, it takes 66-days for a new behavior to become a habit.[i] They concluded that after 66-days, the new behavior became as easy to sustain as it would ever become. Train yourself to act in a specific way long enough, and you make the action routine. Routine actions flow almost effortlessly. Our minds essentially go on autopilot. Our powerful basal ganglia take over for the easily overwhelmed cerebral cortex.

Successful people aren’t remarkable, especially in the beginning, but they get better by mastering consistency. I hope you’ll avoid the common mistake of believing the willpower needed to interrupt a bad habit or create a good one is the same as the willpower required to sustain it. It’s not. Take comfort in that knowledge when you are forging new routines. Change is difficult, but in time, the new behavior will become the new norm. What separates successful people from unsuccessful people is that they develop a few impactful habits. Success is about doing a few critical things right, not about doing everything right.

Successful people routinely do what unsuccessful people are unwilling to do. Unsuccessful people are waiting to feel like it, while successful people press on and do what needs to be done. Successful people nourish their strong wolf and starve their weak wolf. John Maxwell says, “If you wait to feel like doing something, you will likely never accomplish it. Don’t wait until you feel positive to move forward. Act your way into feeling good.” You will not feel good before your workout, but after. You’ll feel like a winner. I enjoy every workout, even the one’s where I must take it easy to fully recover from my hard workouts.

The only bad workout is the one you miss. Even if you go through the motions, you’ll feel much better about yourself. Exercise, like virtue, provides its own rewards. Exercise releases endorphins that make us feel wonderful. Listening to music while working out can lift your spirits and improve your mood. Completing a tough workout provides us with a sense of accomplishment which makes us feel great about ourselves and boosts our confidence. Often people want to feel good before they act, but life does not work that way. You will never feel like taking a difficult action. Usually it is not as difficult as you had thought it would be, but you will not find that out until you do it. First, you must accomplish something meaningful, and then you feel great. I believe that 90% of our success in life is attributed to just showing up. Discipline helps us to keep showing up and putting in the work day after day even when we don’t see any immediate results.

Discipline yourself to act when you do not feel like it. Discipline starts each day with waking up early. Discipline yourself to wake up when you would rather sleep in and get a head start towards accomplishing your goals. Wake up, show up, do the work, and reap the rewards! Hard work always pays. All respect, even self-respect must be earned. Self-affirmations lose their effectiveness if they aren’t backed up by concrete actions. You can tell yourself and others what you are going to do and become, but you can’t fake showing-up. You must continuously give yourself that little push to consistently make the right decision to follow your instincts and not your feelings. You must get excited about defeating your inner saboteur, the weak wolf. Find pleasure in feeding your strong wolf and making the little decisions that produce tremendous results. If you want to transform your life you have to win this battle consistently. Conquering weakness is at the core of all achievement. It is the habit of discipline. Like any habit, it will become easier and easier over time. Eventually, it will become a part of your character. We don’t act disciplined because we have the virtue, instead we have the virtue because we have acted with discipline.

There are two key points I want you to remember about becoming a more disciplined person. First, no one is born disciplined. Discipline is a habit, not a personality trait. Anyone can develop the habit. Successful people are those that have developed the habits essential to achieve excellence in their field. Second, you will want to build one habit at a time. Developing a habit takes a lot of energy in the beginning. Don’t dilute your willpower by trying to do too much too soon. A lack of focus is the source of many failures. “The man who chases two rabbits catches none.” Roman Proverb Adopt one habit at a time.

The process of adopting a new habit should take between 30 and 90 days, with 66-days being the sweet spot for most habits. Our goal is to develop a daily routine that helps maintain a healthy mind and body while pursuing an important personal or professional goal, but for now, focus on one habit at a time and master it before moving on to the next. After you have a solid foundation of discipline, you’ll find that each follow-on habit will become easier to adopt. Your strong wolf will begin to dominate your weak wolf; one decision at a time, one day at a time. Discipline in one area of your life will help you develop discipline in other areas.

There are unexpected benefits to daily exercise. Australian researchers, Megan Oaten and Ken Cheng, found that an exercise routine leads to significant improvements in a wide range of regulatory behaviors such as less impulsive spending; better dietary habits; decreased alcohol, tobacco, and caffeine consumption; and fewer hours watching TV.[ii] When you routinely do what is difficult, habit makes the difficult easy. Motivation and inspiration are important, but you can’t wait for them to take the positive actions your instincts are telling you to take.

If you are waiting for motivation and inspiration to act, you’re never going to. When is the last time you were motivated to do something difficult? Some motivation is necessary, but discipline gives you the push you need to act. When you are tempted to sleep in, think about how great you’ll feel afterward and how disappointed you will be if you miss your workout. I suggest you write down how you feel after a workout in your workout log or journal. It will help you connect exercising with the positive emotions it produces. Discipline puts your actions in line with your values by forcing you to act on what you know will move you in the right direction.

Emotions can propel us but weak feelings like fear, laziness, and procrastination paralyze us. One of the first habits you’ll want to adopt will be to mentally prime yourself each morning by listening to something that stirs-up strong emotions. I also recommend mini-priming sessions before doing anything that is difficult or important. Before you do anything, ask yourself what do you want to get out of this? What would the best version of yourself do to achieve it? What kind of energy do I want to bring to this task? I can still remember how fired-up I felt in high school when just before kick-off we would slap our thigh pads in an ever-accelerating cadence until the football was kicked-off.

Armies have historically used music and battle cries to overcome their fears, instill fear in their enemy, and prepare themselves for combat. A fantastic example of priming is the Fearsome New Zealand All Blacks’ Haka pre-game ritual. Just watching the thigh slapping, tongue-jabbing, chest-pounding spectacle will give you goosebumps. Performing this pre-game ritual gives them a decided advantage on the playing field, by jacking-up their adrenaline and boosting their confidence.

I acknowledge that motivation doesn’t last, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t seek it out. Zig Ziglar had a witty retort for critics of motivation. “People often say that motivation does not last. Well, neither does bathing, that is why we recommend it daily.” We will use motivation and discipline to establish the habits that will take us where we want to go. After the habits are firmly established, achieving our desired outcome becomes inevitable. Consistency is most important. If you follow the program as it is written, and record your workouts; your performance will gradually improve. The key to effective training is keeping a log. If you want to improve performance, you must measure it. Seems obvious, but how many people do you see at the gym keeping a log?

Keeping your motivational tank full with daily doses of inspiration, gives you the push you need to take more action, and consequently produce more results. As you produce results, as you make progress, your motivation will grow. Small wins motivate us. Progress leads to happiness. Progress is the one thing that universally makes us happy. The Progress Principle: Using Small Wins to Ignite Joy, Engagement, and Creativity at Work explains how progress improves the inner work life of employees and teams. Improvements in inner work life drive higher levels of performance and engagement; which in turn leads to better progress and enhanced inner work life. The author calls these reinforcing benefits, the “progress loop.” As you make progress, you rack-up small wins. These small wins make us feel great about ourselves, which stimulates the release of dopamine. When we are making progress in any area of our life, it gives us a sense of accomplishment. It gives us a sense of worth. Tony Robbins often says, “progress equals happiness” and I couldn’t agree more.

The greatest reward of achieving success isn’t what you receive, it is what you become. When you pursue greatness, it forces you to gain new skills and knowledge. Writing these books has forced me to become more knowledgeable. Daily writing has improved my professional writing. Sharing what I have learned helps to itch the information into my brain and makes applying it more natural. I don’t believe we achieve success as much as we attract it by what we become. For example, the best way to attract someone is to become someone that person would be attracted to.

The best way to obtain an above average job is to become an above average worker. Have an above average work ethic. Have an above average attitude. Develop above average skills and knowledge. Achievement rarely exceeds personal development. Looking for an above average job with average skills can be frustrating. What we pursue eludes us. Self-improvement is the best way to achieve success. Getting better doesn’t happen by accident. Great ideas don’t seek us out. We need to take the initiative to discover them. Jim Rohn said “Life doesn’t get better by chance, it gets better by change. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.”

He recommended you always work harder on yourself than your job. The best place to start the process of change is with your daily habits. These changes will have the biggest impact because they will be repeated thousands of times. We become what we repeatedly do. First, we form habits. Then they form us. Success is always the result of little daily decisions and actions.

In their pursuit of success, many people put off their own happiness. They wrongly believe that they will be happy when they achieve their goal. This is a huge mistake. If you aren’t joyous in the pursuit of success; it is doubtful you will suddenly be happy when you achieve it. People think that fame and fortune will make them happy, but they don’t. Studies have shown that single events, like winning the lottery, don’t lead to long-term happiness. Life is a journey in many ways, not the least of which is that we spend much more time traveling than arriving. If we want to achieve lasting happiness, we must enjoy the miles in between where we are and where we want to be. Finding joy in the journey leads to lasting happiness and higher achievement. The more pleasurable you make your daily routine, the more consistent you’ll be, and since rituals reap results, the more successful you’ll be.

I often tell people the most effective program is the one you’ll enjoy. If you hate your workouts, you aren’t going to be consistent. You’ll fail to produce good results due to your inconsistency. Eventually you will quit, dejected by a lack of progress. Making your program as enjoyable as possible is critical to your success. “Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.” Aristotle. Long-term happiness flows from our daily routines. Find pleasure in your daily routine and you’ll enjoy greater success and happiness. Deferring the pursuit of happiness is like waiting for retirement to start enjoying life. I believe everyone should squeeze out all the joy they can from each day of their life. Slow down to appreciate all the blessings in your life. Creating a list of all the things you are grateful for in a journal and reading it daily will make you a happier person. Other things you can do is to surround yourself with positive people, exercise daily, and focus on self-improvement.

[i] Benjamin Gardner, “Making health habitual: the psychology of ‘habit-formation’ and general practice,” 2012 Dec; 62(605): 664–666. doi: 10.3399/bjgp12X659466.

[ii] Oaten M, and Cheng K, “Longitudinal gains in self-regulation from regular physical exercise,” Br J Health Psychol. 2006 Nov; 11 (Pt 4):717-33.

You just need to sustain your motivation and willpower long enough to make discipline a habit! The next biggest lie about living a disciplined lifestyle is that it requires a marathon of effort…

#discipline #dopamine #habit #habits #happiness #routine #self-control #self-development #Willpower #willpower depletion #Willpower Doesn&039;t Work #Willpower is like a muscle

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arcticdementor · 3 years

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Let’s be blunt. The United States has become two nations occupying the same country. When pressed, or in private, many would now agree. Fewer are willing to take the next step and accept that most people living in the United States today—certainly more than half—are not Americans in any meaningful sense of the term.

I don’t just mean the millions of illegal immigrants. Obviously, those foreigners who have bypassed the regular process for entering our country, and probably will never assimilate to our language and culture, are—politically as well as legally—aliens. I’m really referring to the many native-born people—some of whose families have been here since the Mayflower—who may technically be citizens of the United States but are no longer (if they ever were) Americans. They do not believe in, live by, or even like the principles, traditions, and ideals that until recently defined America as a nation and as a people. It is not obvious what we should call these citizen-aliens, these non-American Americans; but they are something else.

What about those who do consider themselves Americans? By and large, I am referring to the 75 million people who voted in the last election against the senile figurehead of a party that stands for mob violence, ruthless censorship, and racial grievances, not to mention bureaucratic despotism. Regardless of Trump’s obvious flaws, preferring his re-election was not a difficult choice for these voters. In fact—leaving aside the Republican never-Trumpers and some squeamish centrists—it was not a difficult choice for either side. Both Right and Left know where they stand today… and it is not together. Not anymore.

Those who wanted to Make America Great Again may refer to themselves as Republicans, though many realize that, apart from Trump, the party does not really care about them. Many may also, in some loose way, consider themselves conservatives. But among these plumbers, insurance salesmen, gym owners, and factory workers there’s one question you can pretty much guarantee they never discuss with their family and friends: “What kind of conservative are you?” This question has virtually no bearing on the problems that overshadow their lives.

It is still a question, however, that occupies intellectuals, journalists, and the world of think tanks. And this matters, unfortunately, because however sensible and down to earth the voters may be, an effective political movement needs intellectual leadership to organize and explain the movement’s purposes and goals. This leadership is still divided into—to name a few—neocons, paleocons (not to be confused with paleo-libertarians!) rad-trads, the dissident right, reformicons, etc. A lot of these labels are a distraction. But before I reject these disputes as mostly irrelevant, let me make a couple of points about why we can’t immediately leave this debate behind—and so why an essay like this is necessary.

…

Practically speaking, there is almost nothing left to conserve. What is actually required now is a recovery, or even a refounding, of America as it was long and originally understood but which now exists only in the hearts and minds of a minority of citizens.

This recognition that the original America is more or less gone sets the Claremont Institute for the Study of Statesmanship and Political Philosophy apart from almost everyone else on the Right. Paradoxically, the organization that has been uniquely devoted to understanding and teaching the principles of the American founding now sees with special clarity why “conserving” that legacy is a dead end. Overturning the existing post-American order, and re-establishing America’s ancient principles in practice, is a sort of counter-revolution, and the only road forward.

…

Conservatism, Inc. is worse than useless in this regard because it does not understand through perpetual study what Trump grasped by instinct. As if coming upon a man convulsing from an obvious poison, Trump at least attempted in his own inelegant way to expel the toxin. By contrast, the conservative establishment, or much of it, has been unwilling to recognize that our body politic is dying from these noxious “norms.” Keep taking the poison! it advises. A cynic might suppose that many elements on the right have made their peace with (and found a way to profit from) the progressive project of narcotizing the American people and turning us into a nation of slaves.

What is needed, of course, is a statesman who understands both the disease afflicting the nation, and the revolutionary medicine required for the cure. But no such figure has emerged, and it is unreasonable to pin our hopes on such a savior simply turning up.

What, then, are Americans to do?

…

If you are a zombie or a human rodent who wants a shadow-life of timid conformity, then put away this essay and go memorize the poetry of Amanda Gorman. Real men and women who love honor and beauty, keep reading.

Authentic Americans still want to have decent lives. They want to work, worship, raise a family, and participate in public affairs without being treated as insolent upstarts in their own country. Therefore, we need a conception of a stable political regime that allows for the good life.

The U.S. Constitution no longer works. But that fact raises more questions than answers. Can some parts of the system—especially at the local and state level—be preserved and strengthened? How would that work? How do we distinguish the parts that are salvageable from the parts that are hopeless? How did all this happen, anyway? The answers to these questions are not obvious. Having a coherent plan—thinking through what American citizenship used to mean, what made it noble and made the country worthy of patriotic love, and how to rebuild its best elements—requires input from people, and institutions, who have given these matters a lot of thought.

#claremont institute #glenn ellmers

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teiraymondmccoy78 · 5 years

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Jordan Peterson accepts bitcoin in wake of leaving Patreon

Alongside Dave Rubin, Jordan Peterson left Patreon over “free speech” issues to launch their own platform.

In the interim, Peterson is accepting bitcoin, which might hint at the “extra features” their platform will include.

They point to anti-feminist Youtuber, Sargon of Akkad, as the impetus for leaving Patreon—ironic, considering how often Peterson points to identity politics as a problem.

It’s been over a decade since Satoshi Nakamoto published his/her/their famous white paper that first described a currency that solved the double-spending problem associated with digital assets. A few months later he released the first software that would launch the network that services bitcoin.

No longer would we need to rely on a trusted third party, many of which mine data and information while making our identity vulnerable to hacking. By incentivizing miners (or, as it has evolved, validators), a global, decentralized solution was presented. So long as no individual miner controls the bulk of computing power, a fair and equitable system of transacting is now possible.

The idea for a decentralized currency had been floating around for over a decade when Nakamoto published their paper. Since Nick Szabo wrote a treatise on “bit gold” in 1998, a few suspected him as the man behind the pseudonym; Szabo also devised the concept of “smart contracts,” one of the foundational mechanisms making blockchain so important. Szabo claims he’s not Nakamoto, however. Others claim they are, unsurprising since charlatans infect every industry.

The mythology of Satoshi transcends the individual. This is an essential part of the mythos driving cryptocurrency. The centralization of power and money has aided the world’s greatest problems—climate change, systemic racism, gender inequality, terrible design decisions. Eight people holding as much wealth as over 3.75 billion is not a feature of the species. It’s a bug, and bugs have consequences.

Cryptocurrency, at its best, is an imaginative response to a serious problem. Nothing new here: an exploitation of a powerful system followed by a social response. The history of humans again rhymes itself.

At its worst, the community cryptocurrency has spawned is little different than the forces it was designed to rail against: a seething enmity toward anything “other” in order to defend the precious self. Suffice to say, at the moment crypto is dominated by men, and as with other tech sectors, biases are rampant.

As with any prospective industry, especially one ripe with potential capital, this next phase of human transacting will require civility. Sure, we’re biologically programmed to blah blah blah; understanding our point of origin is important. But as with broken hearts, the past becomes a prison and an excuse for not striving to be better.

We Are Leaving Patreon: Dave Rubin and Jordan Peterson Announcement

Which is what Jordan Peterson, following in the footsteps of Sam Harris, did when leaving Patreon. It wasn’t specifically Carl Benjamin, aka Sargon of Akkad, that caused the Canadian professor to join forces with Dave Rubin to risk over half of his income in an attempt to create a new “freer speech” platform. It was, however, the final proverbial nail.

Peterson’s platform hasn’t panned out, yet, which is likely why he is utilizing all means necessary, including bitcoin. While he says the new platform will be similar to Patreon’s subscription model, he added that “it will have a bunch of additional features.” Perhaps this move into cryptocurrency might signal one of those features.

Peterson announced his departure on January 1 in a video alongside Rubin. Concern over Patreon’s relationship with MasterCard, something cited by Robert Spencer when he was kicked off the platform for also violating its hate speech policies, is the driving factor behind the move. Sargon just happened to be in the right place at the right time to motivate the two to leave.

Cut and dry: Patreon has a policy against hate speech. Benjamin was making money on Patreon, which was funding his discriminatory rants on Youtube. Patreon banned him.

What defines hate speech? That’s a big question no singular person is equipped to answer. We can get caught in the weeds on this—and should; language is the main vehicle by which we communicate and shouldn’t be glossed over—but like a foul odor, it’s obvious when hatred and discrimination assaults your senses.

For example, take Robert Spencer’s Twitter feed, dominated at the moment by retweets from the 2019 State of the Union. Among the things I learned: Twitter has a liberal bias because both Nancy and Pelosi can trend on the platform, not just her full name; Democrats hate seeing America do well because they want to see Americans suffer; a journalist pointing out that Jews don’t believe in heaven is a reason to hate journalists; Democratic women, dressed in white to represent the suffrage movement, are actually the new KKK; AOC. Boy, does she get under their skin.

Bitcoin or gold, what is the better crisis currency? The picture shows a Bitcoin (physically) and gold nuggets. (Photo by Ulrich Baumgarten via Getty Images)

Fueled by these inspired rants, I turn to one of Sargon’s videos. He’s upset about a female-only screening of “Wonder Woman.” The “supremacist” inclination of these women, the illegality of it all. He’s clearly befuddled by the “specially-privileged women-only thing.” A moment of self-reflection occurs when he realizes it is a “petty thing to be bothered about,” at which point he goes on for another four-plus minutes about why he’s bothered about it.

I hope he never wants to exercise at Curves.

Here’s the brilliant thing about Curves, though. The successful women-only gym saved on costs by launching in suburban areas, where rents are lower; the machines are arranged in a circle around the main floor, promoting social interaction; perhaps most importantly, women don’t have to deal with being gawked at by men.

And for that, men—in many instances in such conversations, white men—feel victimized. Instead of attempting empathy, they lash out, somehow feeling taken advantage of, unfairly mistreated, and potentially the most scandalous sensation of all: vulnerable. That’s what I assessed watching a handful of Sargon videos: it all comes back to him.

Which makes Peterson’s decision to hang his hat on this totem telling. In his books and videos, Peterson offers many big-picture ideas that make a lot of sense in terms of how society operates. Yet, like Sargon, a lot of his rhetoric invokes self-victimization. Instead of opening a dialogue, he engages in constant oneupmanship, like the time he tried to teach Alex Wagner what parenting entails. As someone who rails against identity politics so often, he often gets bogged down in his own identity.

Bringing us to an intriguing paradox: the usage of a decentralized digital currency created to disassemble power structures being utilized by those interested in keeping those power structures in place. Again, unsurprising: Bank of America has filed more blockchain patents than anyone.

The difference with Peterson and others might seem more social and gender-based than economic, but those too are intertwined. The last few centuries have been about the accumulation of power and wealth by a particular race and gender. Now that they’re being asked to display empathy as the power balance shifts, they don’t like it.

We should applaud thinkers that “reach across the aisle” to ensure similar rights for those who think differently. Of this Patreon backlash, Sam Harris’s reasoning on this topic is the most clear-headed to date.

Utilizing digital currency to support the dissemination of ideas also makes sense. As thinkers that pontificate on the nature of society, they’re at the head of a long curve in which cryptocurrency (or some form of digital currency) will eventually replace fiat. How that happens remains to be seen, but this one isn’t getting stuffed back into the box.

But to pound your stake in the ground by defending men who are butt-hurt that women want to congregate without men is just silly. We shouldn’t ban speech, but we also shouldn’t eliminate common sense from the discourse. Otherwise, we’re just writing the same story over and over, one smacking of privilege with no sense of grace or compassion about the lives of others, regardless of the technological innovations involved.

Biology might point to destiny, but it’s not the total summation of it. For that, we need the thinkers we champion to make better use of their imagination.

—

Stay in touch with Derek on Twitter and Facebook.

Related Articles Around the Web

Source link http://bit.ly/2HYMoEo

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bobbynolanios88 · 5 years

Text

Jordan Peterson accepts bitcoin in wake of leaving Patreon

Alongside Dave Rubin, Jordan Peterson left Patreon over “free speech” issues to launch their own platform.

In the interim, Peterson is accepting bitcoin, which might hint at the “extra features” their platform will include.

They point to anti-feminist Youtuber, Sargon of Akkad, as the impetus for leaving Patreon—ironic, considering how often Peterson points to identity politics as a problem.

We Are Leaving Patreon: Dave Rubin and Jordan Peterson Announcement

Cut and dry: Patreon has a policy against hate speech. Benjamin was making money on Patreon, which was funding his discriminatory rants on Youtube. Patreon banned him.

Bitcoin or gold, what is the better crisis currency? The picture shows a Bitcoin (physically) and gold nuggets. (Photo by Ulrich Baumgarten via Getty Images)

I hope he never wants to exercise at Curves.

Biology might point to destiny, but it’s not the total summation of it. For that, we need the thinkers we champion to make better use of their imagination.

—

Stay in touch with Derek on Twitter and Facebook.

Related Articles Around the Web

Source link http://bit.ly/2HYMoEo

#IFTTT #Cryptocurrency and Bitcoin

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mccartneynathxzw83 · 5 years

Text

Jordan Peterson accepts bitcoin in wake of leaving Patreon

Alongside Dave Rubin, Jordan Peterson left Patreon over “free speech” issues to launch their own platform.

In the interim, Peterson is accepting bitcoin, which might hint at the “extra features” their platform will include.

They point to anti-feminist Youtuber, Sargon of Akkad, as the impetus for leaving Patreon—ironic, considering how often Peterson points to identity politics as a problem.

We Are Leaving Patreon: Dave Rubin and Jordan Peterson Announcement

Cut and dry: Patreon has a policy against hate speech. Benjamin was making money on Patreon, which was funding his discriminatory rants on Youtube. Patreon banned him.

Bitcoin or gold, what is the better crisis currency? The picture shows a Bitcoin (physically) and gold nuggets. (Photo by Ulrich Baumgarten via Getty Images)

I hope he never wants to exercise at Curves.

Biology might point to destiny, but it’s not the total summation of it. For that, we need the thinkers we champion to make better use of their imagination.

—

Stay in touch with Derek on Twitter and Facebook.

Related Articles Around the Web

Source link http://bit.ly/2HYMoEo

0 notes

vanessawestwcrtr5 · 5 years

Text

Jordan Peterson accepts bitcoin in wake of leaving Patreon

Alongside Dave Rubin, Jordan Peterson left Patreon over “free speech” issues to launch their own platform.

In the interim, Peterson is accepting bitcoin, which might hint at the “extra features” their platform will include.

They point to anti-feminist Youtuber, Sargon of Akkad, as the impetus for leaving Patreon—ironic, considering how often Peterson points to identity politics as a problem.

We Are Leaving Patreon: Dave Rubin and Jordan Peterson Announcement

Cut and dry: Patreon has a policy against hate speech. Benjamin was making money on Patreon, which was funding his discriminatory rants on Youtube. Patreon banned him.

Bitcoin or gold, what is the better crisis currency? The picture shows a Bitcoin (physically) and gold nuggets. (Photo by Ulrich Baumgarten via Getty Images)

I hope he never wants to exercise at Curves.

Biology might point to destiny, but it’s not the total summation of it. For that, we need the thinkers we champion to make better use of their imagination.

—

Stay in touch with Derek on Twitter and Facebook.

Related Articles Around the Web

Source link http://bit.ly/2HYMoEo

0 notes

courtneyvbrooks87 · 5 years

Text

Jordan Peterson accepts bitcoin in wake of leaving Patreon

Alongside Dave Rubin, Jordan Peterson left Patreon over “free speech” issues to launch their own platform.

In the interim, Peterson is accepting bitcoin, which might hint at the “extra features” their platform will include.

They point to anti-feminist Youtuber, Sargon of Akkad, as the impetus for leaving Patreon—ironic, considering how often Peterson points to identity politics as a problem.

We Are Leaving Patreon: Dave Rubin and Jordan Peterson Announcement

Cut and dry: Patreon has a policy against hate speech. Benjamin was making money on Patreon, which was funding his discriminatory rants on Youtube. Patreon banned him.

Bitcoin or gold, what is the better crisis currency? The picture shows a Bitcoin (physically) and gold nuggets. (Photo by Ulrich Baumgarten via Getty Images)

I hope he never wants to exercise at Curves.

Biology might point to destiny, but it’s not the total summation of it. For that, we need the thinkers we champion to make better use of their imagination.

—

Stay in touch with Derek on Twitter and Facebook.

Related Articles Around the Web

Source link http://bit.ly/2HYMoEo

#IFTTT #Cryptocurrency and Bitcoin

0 notes

therealestatesparkblog · 6 years

Text

12 Creative Ways to Add Major Value to Apartment Buildings

Have you ever wondered why the big players in residential real estate investment dont focus on single family homes, but instead buy apartments? There are several reasons for this, but the big one is control. Owners of larger multifamily property (5 units and greater) can control the value of their property to a much greater predictability compared to single family and small multifamily (2-4 units). In apartments, the options on ways to increase the value of the property are only limited by the owners creativity. In this article, I will list just some of the endless ways to add value. Before we jump into the list, lets do a quick rundown onhow properties are valued. 1-4 Unit Property These properties are valued based on the comparable sales approach. This means if a 3-bed, 2-bath home in similar condition to your 3-bed, 2-bath in the same neighborhood or one very similar sold for $X, then your 3-bed, 2-bath home is also worth $X because thats what the market has determined your property is worth. When you hire an appraiser, this is precisely what he/she is doing. They find comparable sales comps and use them to give your property a value. 5+ UnitProperty These are valued based on the income they produce. Everyone buying these types of property are buying them to make money, so that is the universal focus. To find their value, you find the net operating income (NOI). NOI is simply all the money you made minus all your expenses, not including the debt service payments. We dont include the debt service because it can vary from one owner to the next. In other words, NOI is all the income the property can produce minus all the expenses the property requires to operate, regardless of who the owner is. Once we have the NOI, we divide it by the capitalization rate for the area. The cap rate is the rate of return the market has determined is adequate to deploy capital for this type of property. If this is how apartments are valued, then we can see that if you are able to decrease expenses or increase the income, then the value of the property will go up. Even if you save one dollar, the value of the property goes up. If you want a more detailed explanation of how we find value on apartments, check out another article I wrote here. If every dollar you decrease expenses or increase income adds to the value of the property, shouldnt we all be trying to do that in any way possible? The answer is yes, but often owners only focus on the obvious, conventional ways, such as raising the rent. That is a good one, but as I mentioned before, the list is only limited by the owner/managers creativity. Below is a list of just some of those less conventional ways to add value to your apartment building. Related: 7 Creative Ways to Add Bedrooms, Bathrooms & Other Value-Add Amenities to Your House Before you skim over the list and think, No thanks, that will only earn me about and extra $500 a year not worth it, know that this incentive isnt the extra $500 in cash flow its the increase in value. If your property is a 6% capitalization rate, that extra $500 a year adds $8,334 to the value of your property. Find 10 ways to add $500 a year income and 10 ways to decrease your expenses $500 a year, and you will have added $167,000 to what your property is worth.

12 Creative Ways to Add Major Value to Apartment Buildings1. Sub-Meter Utilities We have all driven past that apartment building in the middle of winter wherethe tenant has the windows wide open, heat blasting. We also all knowthe tenant whonever reports that their toilet is constantly running because they dont pay for water. Depending on the mechanics of the property, sub-metering can be one of the largest value-add activities. 2. Washers and Dryers The number one amenity currently added to rental leases are washers and dryers. This could add$40-75 per month to your income. 3. LED Lighting If you are a long-term buy and hold investor, LED lighting in common areas is a no-brainer. First, it uses so little energy, you save on the utilities. Second, the bulbs last 25 years, so you arent paying maintenance to change them. 4. Vending Machines Yep, the income produced from a vending machine can increase the value of your property. I have seen these in several settings: 1) in common areas, such as placing a drink or snack vending machine ina gym area or around the pool, 2) in common area laundry rooms that have laundry and other household essentials in them. Think single serving detergent, stain remover pen, carpet stain remover, fabric softener. The best part is you dont have to buy the machine. Just like with coin laundry, many companies will place and service vending machines, and you get a percentage of the income. 5. Garage Parking People can and do pay more to park their cars or have additional storage in a garage. Adding an additional charge for garages is common and can be worth building garages in some instances. A less expensive substitute would be carports. 6. Prime Parking We all have done it you turn into a parking lot and yes! the front and center spot is open for you. Tenants will pay to reserve those special spots. Pop a few signs in the best spots that say Reserved Premium Parking for Rent. This will add more income to your bottom line, and the value of your property will go up. 7. Renovations Although this one is pretty conventional, I thought Id list it anyway. By renovating the interiors, common areas, or curb appeal you can increase demand, which will allow you to push rent rates up.

Related: The Ultimate Metric You Need to Find Value-Add Apartment Deals 8. Trash Pick-Up Service Do you have a full-time maintenance man on the property? Why not utilize him for custom services? A friend of mine had a resident whohated carrying her heavy trash bags to the dumpster. He then offered for the maintenance man tocome pick up her trash outside her door two times a week and walk it to the dumpster for $20 a month. Other residents saw this and asked for the same service. Now it is an option for all his residents. The handyman makes his rounds twice a week and collects. Residents love the option. 9. Pet Rent If youre allowing pets and not charging for them, youre missing out. I have seen pet rent as high as an additional $100 a month. 10. Storage Units Have you ever lived in an apartment? Is there ever a good place to put all those boxes of old books, your bike in the winter, or whatever else you want out of the way? Well, most people are this way, and thats why they are willing to pay for what is essentially an extra closet. For our units, we charge $19 and $29 respectively for 15 sqft and 30 sqft storage closets that were built into an old, unused laundry common area. 11. Cable Bill Kickback In larger complexes, owners can sign exclusives with cable providers and receive a small kickback from when residents sign up for the service. 12. Renegotiate Expenses As investors, we often focus on how to make more money. Just as important is how to spend less. In apartments, the operating expenses will include quite a few expense accounts. Landscaping, snow removal, cleaning, management, maintenance, dumpster fees, and many more items are all things you can look at for ways to decrease operating expenses. It could be as simple as calling around for quotes on grass cutting or calling the dumpster service and renegotiating the monthly fee. In todays market climate, multifamily is very competitive, and adding these unconventional value-add tactics is a great tool to have in your belt when they fit your property. What I really want to stress is the value added to the property more so than the extra cash flow. Cash flow is good, but the value can be captured through refinance or sale. Multifamily allows control, and although everyone knows cash flow is king, creativity is a close second. With creativity and control, amazing wealth can be built in multifamily. Were republishing this article to help out our newer readers.

Apartment investors: Anything youd add to this list? Be sure to let me know with a comment! https://www.biggerpockets.com/renewsblog/81906-2/

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Huron South Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 57399

"Huron South Dakota Cheap car insurance quotes zip 57399

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https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/general-how-much-health-insurance-heather-hebert"

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apsbicepstraining · 7 years

Text

3 practices you’re working out wrong | Fox News

()

There were two lat-pulldown stations situated next to each other in this gym I belonged to many years ago. On one of them was an older dame who was lifting, if recall serves, 10 pounds. I can only assume that she misconstrued the name of the utilization and thought it was a lap pulldown, because thats where the bar intention up when she wheeled it down the figurehead of her torso.

On the contiguous machine was a guy who was lifting, if remember provides, the entire heavines stack, or most of it. He rose off the seat at the beginning of each rep to assistant him get the load moving, and then leaned back at a 45 -degree angle to get the bar to his chest. The deeper he got into his set, the more force and figure English he employed.

Related : THE 21 -DAY METASHREDan At-Home Body-Shredding Program That Will Ignite Your Metabolism, Torch Fat, and Build the Body Youve Always Wanted( One Guy Lost 25 Pounds In Just 6 Weeks !)

Two people, two completely different ideas about how to do one of the most basic efforts in the gym. And both of them completely wrong.

If you walked into that same gym today, chances are youd watch multiple versions of exerts hardly anyone did a decade ago, like planks and kettlebell changes. Those are in addition to the classic exerts, the simple ones that every lifter has done as long as hes been filching, but may not be doing in a way that helps him reach his goals.

Theres more free info than ever, and yet form hasnt improved, mentioned Nick Tumminello, columnist of the upcoming Building Muscle and Performance: A Program for Size, Strength, and Speed, and a coach based in Fort Lauderdale. Husband are stubborn, and they always think they know better.

Flawed exercise form certainly comes down to three fundamental problems TAGEND

Lack of control

Poor stability

Misreading the item of the exercise

Lets tackle them in that order.

Control issues

Most beings are in the gym to do bodybuilding, Tumminello enunciated. That is, to build muscle. But most people in the gym instruct like weightlifters, where the goals and targets is to removing the heavines . Theres a big difference. Bodybuilding is about checking the weight through the entire series of motion.

Take the lateral invoke, for example. The space most guys do it, Tumminello mentioned, is to shaking the heavines up, and let it disintegrate down.

But the entire level of the rehearsal is to target the middle-of-the-road part of the deltoid muscles. To establish them proliferate, you need to made them under strain. Theyre under the most tension at the top of the stray of the motionthe segment everyone cheats through, he says.

RELATED: 10 Cardio Practises That Burn More Calories Than Operating

You see this over and over in activities designed to target specific muscles, includes the lat pulldowns I described at the beginning. Tumminello also mentioned the bent-over barbell sequence: Theyll pluck it halfway with good form, then jolt it the rest of the way.

He furnishes a simple fix TAGEND

Select a weight you can hold at the point of maximum friction, with good form.

If you cant accommodated it four to five seconds, then the loads too damned heavy, he answered. You dont necessary to brace it when you civilize, but thats how you should research it.

For most bodybuilding exerciseslateral conjures, lat pulldowns, bent-over or accommodated rowsyou can experiment your weight at the end of the scope of gesture. For biceps bends, its the midpoint, when your forearms are parallel to the floor.

Or you are able to make it simpler, and exactly remember which part of the raising you typically have to cheater to get through. If you cant hamper it there for a few seconds, try using a lighter weight.

Bad posture

Picture these four rehearsals TAGEND

Plank

Pushup

Loaded carry

Bear crawl

What do they have in common? If you answered, Theyre all the same exercise, youre a lot smarter than me. It never resulted to me until Alwyn Cosgrove, my coauthor on the New Rules of Lifting books, excused it.

Of course they dont looking alike. But the key to good form is exactly the same: Whatever your posture is standing up straight-from-the-shoulder, thats what it should be when youre doing a timber, or a moving plank( aka pushup ), or a walk-to plank( aka loaded carry ), or a scooting plank( aka bear creeping ).

On the plank, pushup, and carry you should be able to draw a straight line from your ears through your shoulders, hips, and ends. On the bring crawling, the line should connect your ears, shoulders, and hips, with your torso parallel to the floor.

RELATED: 5 Guys Who Wake Up at 4 A.M. to Labor Out Tell You How They Do It

The most common mistakes are postural. With the plank, pushup, and bear crawling, you verify these almost every day TAGEND

persisting your butt in the air

letting your stomach sag toward the floor

promoting your foreman to check out the form of the person in front of you

On a pushup, you can tell if youre elevating your as when your nose reaches the storey ahead of your chest. If your stomach is sagging on a board or pushup, youll possibly feel it as an unpleasant strain in your lower back. And if you find yourself mesmerized by the person in front of you on any of these employs, youre perhaps face-lift your head.

The biggest problems on loaded carries entered when the heavines is held to one side, as in a suitcase carry. Mistakes might include TAGEND

Bending to the side comprising the weight

Overcompensating for the heavines by stooping to the opposite side

Leaning back and flaring your rib cage out

You can self-correct the first two issues by attaches great importance. If youre dispassionate, you should be able to tell if youre standing up straight-from-the-shoulder. If its a battle, lowering the weight.

A good self-check for the latter question is to target your non-weight-bearing hand on your sternum. If you feel your underside ribs start to move forward, settle your posture.

Cognitive disappointment

Return for a moment to the confused dame at the lat-pulldown station, the one pluck the bar down to her hips. Clearly, she didnt understand that the aims of the activity is to engage muscles in her midriff and upper back, and to do that she needed to select a reasonably challenging weight and attract the bar to her chest.

I recollected it because its not something you picture every day.

But there are a few usually misunderstood exercisings youll appreciate on a regular basis. Tumminello mentioned the hang knee parent. As ab usages move, its about as hard-core as the majority of members of us will ever get. But thats their own problems: Most of us cant actually do the activity correctly.

To do it right, Tumminello told, you need to tilt your pelvis upward, something thats hellaciously difficult from a dead hang. Instead, most guys will merely lift their knees, a crusade that works the hip-flexor muscles on the figurehead of the pelvis but doesnt project the rectus abdominis, the six-pack muscle, through the intended scope of motion.

RELATED : 38 Dumbbell Exercises Youve Probably Never Seen

If you cant do that pelvic tiltand as I enunciated, few of us canthen youre much better served by doing the reverse crunch from the storey or an incline bench.

Another common mistake involves usages for the opposite side of the torso. When you do a kettlebell swing, the goals and targets is to move the load by straightening your hips. That commits the potent glute and hamstring muscles. Your limbs and shoulder are precisely along for the ride.

But before you can arrange your hips, you have to load them by pushing them downwards. If you dont do that, you cant generate the force are required to swing the load out in front of you. Thats whether you are look so many parties return the swing into a front invoke: theyll various kinds of squat down, and then gather the weight up overhead utilizing their shoulder muscles.

A good shake, by compare, should end up somewhere between waist and chest stature. One route to tell if youre going it right: the bell exits precisely a bit higher than your hands at the opening of the move. If youre hoisting it with your forearms and shoulders, itll do the opposite, and end up below your hands.( For a full seminar on how to do the usage, check out The Right Way to Do a Kettlebell Swing .)

How to do any employ better

The lessons of these nine exerciseslateral promote, bent-over sequence, plank, pushup, bear crawling, loaded carry, lat pulldown, hanging knee grow, kettlebell swingcan be applied to any utilization you try. You just need to ask yourself three queries TAGEND 1. What is the point of the rehearsal ?

If the goal is to build muscle, then focus on developing strain in specific targeted muscles, and dont employ momentum to blow through that the members of the exercise.

2. What should my form look like while doing the workout ?

This is trickier, because on numerous rehearsals its hard to check your figure without divulging figure to look at yourself. And thats only if you have a mirror nearby. Without one, you have to pay attention to your form signals. If you feel a strain in your lower back on a board or pushup, thats your clue to work on your alignment.

3. What activities should and shouldnt be involved ?

This is even trickier, and may require coaching, or at least some reading outside the gym. Most parties looking at a kettlebell swaying would think the goals and targets is to lift the load up in front of you, so it reaches sense that youd use your limbs and shoulders. If nothing tells you its all in the hips, how would you know?

Which makes me to perhaps the most reliable clue: When other lifters stop, gaze, and then shake their tops as they walk away, you can be pretty sure youre doing something wrong.

Lou Schuler is an award-winning journalist and contributing editor to Mens Health. Check out his new book Strong: Nine Workout Programs For Women to Burn Fat, Boost Metabolism, and Build Strength For Life, with coauthor Alwyn Cosgrove .

This article initially appeared on MensHealth.com .

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