can you explain what happened like i'm 5? i may be stupid

noooo you're not, i feel like you're just the only person brave enough to ask fjksjds there's a LOT going on here so i don't mind explaining at all!!

first i'll explain what happened from griffin's point of view on february 3rd, 1982…. he's been saving money up without his parents knowing, because he plans to run away in the next few months. on this day, his mom finds the money and realizes that griffin wants to leave. she becomes inconsolable and tells richard about the money. he thinks griffin stole the money from him (which is ridiculous because we know griffin JUST bailed him out of jail with money richard didn't have; he could've just left him there), and a large argument ensues. his dad hits him, his mom is throwing things around and falling to the floor crying, it's just a huge mess. lucy throws a plate and it shatters on griffin's face. this is the last straw for him. he just can't take it anymore. he grabs the gun they keep in the pantry, knowing his parents always keep it loaded for home security (more on that later). he points it at his dad and warns him to step back, but richard outright laughs at him and keeps approaching him. griffin THINKS he racks the gun, but, being a kid in an insanely stressful situation, he didn't apply enough force to pull it all the way back, meaning there's no round in the chamber, so when he pulls the trigger (and he does actually pull the trigger) the gun does not go off. at that point, richard yanks it out of his hands and threatens to kill him if he ever tries something like that again, but griffin wouldn't have tried again – he was horrified at his own behavior. this is the major turning point in griffin's life and it's one of the biggest factors in causing his death.

(side note, in the universe where we saw griffin as an inmate, that was the incident that first landed him in jail -- in that universe, he pulled the slide just a little more forcefully, and he killed his dad. but he was only 12, and the abuse he suffered was an additional consideration, so he spent most of his time in a psychiatric hospital until he aged out. he committed more crimes later on though.)

(side SIDE note, this is why in the 90s verse griffin was warned to never touch his dad's shotgun again, which he did not listen to, meaning this event still took place for him.)

okay, so now here's what happened from finn's point of view (as in ghost finn, our finn, asa's finn, you know the one): this is one of the worst moments of finn's entire life, and just thinking about it makes him feel furious. anytime he needs to draw strength from his emotions, he revisits this memory to make himself angry. he successfully used this incident to save asa's life many years ago, and it's implied that he did the same thing to get himself out of the nowhere many years before that. so, naturally, when finn got separated from asa, his first idea was to revisit this memory to fuel his anger. only, it didn't work this time. this time, he doesn't feel angry, he feels sad and ashamed because this isn't who he is anymore. he finds himself trapped in an endless loop, forced to watch it happen over and over again. he starts thinking that this is Hell with a capital H, an eternal punishment for what he's done. when he sees asa, he's horrified because he thinks it means asa has died and gone to Hell -- something finn can't even fathom.

okay, now from ASA'S perspective…. we find out that he knew about this incident all along. he heard and saw everything that finn begged him not to. all this time, he's been reassuring finn that he's a good person, deserving of love, that he was just a kid and he's allowed to find happiness, etc. all along, he knew that finn had pulled the trigger intending to kill his father. yet he still believed every word he said. he still believes finn is inherently good. asa would have taken this to the grave if he could; he thought it would only cause finn more pain to know that asa knows.

asa truly believes that this incident is just a memory, so he tries to prove it by attempting to interact with the memory, but he's caught off guard when richard, lucy, and griffin actually see him. they're all so shocked by this supposed home intruder that they fall silent, something finn knows is not normal for this memory, so he gets up to find asa. richard has the gun now because he'd ripped it out of griffin's hands. asa thinks the gun is empty because he knows griffin pulled the trigger and it didn't go off, but finn obviously knows the truth: it would only take a few seconds to fire. he also knows that this is the exact reason his dad bought the gun in the first place, for home defense in the event of a break in (to be fair, this is not that implausible considering the company their family kept at this point) so richard is 100% prepared to use deadly force against asa, who he thinks just broke into his house.

bonus: finn's reaction makes me really sad. we've SEEN the lengths he'll go to to protect asa in the past... but when it comes to his father, he mostly freezes up. he's even physically hiding behind asa :(