#also capitalism analogy amirite | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pippalovestunabrick · 20 days

Text

No but this is so important and not just because Nureyev is finally waking up to something outside his Slip tunnel vision. But because Nureyev has never been in the position to plan for a life. His entire focus has been on survival and obligation and anonymity since he was (the equivalent of) a high schooler. He has never had the opportunity to be like "what do I want to do with my life?" because that agency was taken from him by the GAS, by Mag, by being a fugitive, by Dokana and he has actually never been at liberty to just, choose.

This aspect of Nureyev makes me that much more feral about his offer to run away with Juno way back in season 1, because being able to run away and live a life he wants is not something he allowed himself to even imagine until he met Juno goddamn Steel and that meeting like jumpstarted his heart. The life of thrills and decadence across the galaxy might not even be what he truly wants, but even being able to envision the fantasy of it was HUGE for him. Which makes Juno’s rejection of it (in Murderous Mask, but moreso in Final Resting Place after everything they went through together with Miasma, and realizing that there was the potential for genuine love, trust, compatibility between them) all the more devastating. It wasn't just a rejection of Nureyev, but effectively crushed that first real hope for the future that he had allowed himself since Saraswati.

#juno steel #junoverse #the penumbra podcast #tpp #jupeter #peter nureyev #tpp spoilers #i have so many thoughts about Nureyev and yes i am going to just spew them all whether anyone cares or not #he's been robbed of his agency and years of his life and those are literally the only things we have in our stupid short lives #also capitalism analogy amirite #like we're not all traumatized thieves enslaved by capitalism & the medical industrial complex but at the same time arent we all? arent we??

122 notes · View notes

ccthepandafangirl · 2 years

Text

a meme almost outed me to my conservative Mother - a rant

WARNING: If you're triggered by mentions of religious content, don't read. Also, this is a long rant/explanation. Be warned.

Okay, a bit of background context first.

I (16f), myself, am Christian. I was baptised by choice (shocker, I know) at the age of four, I volunteer my summer holidays at Church-organised charities around the city, and I run a Bible study group at my school. This was all encouraged by my Mother, who comes from a family of refugees who migrated during the conflict in the 70s-80s in Southeast Asia when she was 6. They received aid from a Christian-run charity when they got back on their feet and struggled to adjust to western society, hence my Mother's family's complete devotion to Jesus. My grandmother, who can't speak English, routinely prays for the entire family and is reportedly very proud of my role as captain/leader of the Bible study group. My aunt gave me a devotions book for my birthday last year, and her daughter (my younger cousin) attends Bible study with me at school.

Very Asian + very Christian = a very, very conservative family (in most aspects, but not all). However, my family doesn't know that I am bi (except for my moderately-left Father and another cousin). This causes a few issues.

My Mother isn't hateful, per se, towards the LGBTQ+ community, but she's still homophobic. She views queer identities the way most view depression; a mental condition one can work to get out of with therapy, time, support, and most importantly, prayer. (She doesn't view depression like modern-educated people might, though, so I don't know how that analogy really sticks.) And whenever something LGBTQ+ related happens on the news, she often will launch into an unstoppable lecture about homosexuality & sin while my Father and I inwardly groan.

Those lectures haven't been completely directed at me since she thinks I'm straight because I used to have a boyfriend (which luckily quelled her suspicions). (he broke up with me around the time I came out to my friends, but that's another story for later).

anyway, onto what ACTUALLY happened.

Earlier that day, because it was the first of June and therefore PRIDE MONTH, I posted the meme to my private Instagram story with the added caption ''happy pride month. capitalism, amirite", like a regular teenager.

Closed the app. Didn't think much of it. Saw some of my queer friends liking my story, but nothing else.

I get home, drop my bag off downstairs, and go upstairs to nap.

First mistake.

There's a rule in my household that we leave electronics downstairs/away from our bedrooms. I came home from school, completely worn out and went up to my room without remembering to take my phone out of my pocket. I flop down for a quick nap. Half an hour later, my Mother noticed my phone isn't in its usual charging spot. She told me to bring it downstairs so she's sure that I'm not pretending to nap while messing around on social media.

Groggily, I gave my phone to her without thinking. You know, Christian + Asian obedience that's been drilled into me and whatnot. I went back upstairs. Nap again.

Normally, my Mother trusts me often to not snoop through my phone. But this time, after fifteen minutes, curiosity got the better of her, and she used this opportunity to snoop through anyway to see if I'd been off-task and not lying in bed exhausted.

Thanks for trusting me, Mother.

She opened my Instagram, which I stupidly didn't log out of. Opened my story. Is very confused because she doesn't understand meme culture. Saw the phrase "LGBTQ people". FREAKED out and called me to come downstairs. She demanded to know why her good Christian daughter, child of Jesus, daughter of Heaven (it's a Christian thing, I'm not that full of myself), captain of the Bible study group, would even think about such things.

I wake up from nap mode due to the sheer panic.

I "explained" that I downloaded the wrong meme (a marvel post) and meant to send that one to my friend, and reassured her with repeated "No, mother, I clicked the wrong one, whoops; no, it's not that; yes, I still believe in Jesus; yes, I still like boys; no, I'm not going to let boys distract me; no, you don't need to send me a homophobic sermon on Youtube again" (I didn't explicitly say the last part, but you know what I mean). Regardless of her technological competency, it was sort of believable since sending a post to a friend versus sending it to a story works the same way. Luckily, the post directly below the story bar on Instagram was about a free dress pattern, not another pride month meme. It supported my case. No LGBTQ+ here, Mother, I'm your good Christian daughter who loves sewing. She still gave me the lecture anyway. It was about halfway through her saying that I "need to be a good example and not promote the gay agenda, we love them but we don't tolerate their lifestyle", that I successful distracted her and escaped via homework.

sorry for the info dump, but I really need to get this off my chest. I wish I could be a normal teenager where a FRICKIN MEME doesn't make threaten my entire relationship with my Mother.

I love her (don't doubt that, I know that she's been through so much in order for me to even have school work to be worn out by), I love Jesus, but I can't stand this anymore.

#tw: homophobia #tw: religion #see queue later #lgbt #pride month #personal rant #bisexual #queer #lgbtq community #lgbtq+#lgbt pride #lgbtq #tw: conservative #cc says things

1 note · View note