#also blair is so fucking happy in the first gif
Text
They Reject You (hyung line)- part three
Pairing: BTS x Reader
Word Count: 8K
Warnings: swear words here and there, a little kissing scene.
Jin
"I told you, you should have done this sooner."
"Hey, if I had known this was gonna be this much fun, I would have."
"I did tell you, you just didn't believe me."
You huff. "Okay fine! You were right all along and I was wrong. Happy?"
Blair chugs down another shot and winces at the bitter taste. "I'll be happy when you listen to my advice."
"Asking for too much, now. Aren't you?"
"Cool then, mop over a boy for over a month again. Why don't you?" She retorts with no real bite, rather genuinely enjoying the glimpse of the old you back.
A wave of sadness hits you when you're reminded about the said boy and you sigh. "He isn't just a boy, he's also my best friend."
Blair immediately regrets her words when she notices the look on your face. "I understand that you would need time but if I hadn't dragged you out today, you would have not made any efforts to move on for at least another six months."
You feel an instant urge to deny it but end up not protesting because you know how true her words are.
Moving on would have been easier if you knew the answer to this one question; how does one move on from their best friend?
How do you forget the moments that made you fall for him? Moments when he was the only one you could confide in. When you two would spend hours talking on the phone about random things. When the two of you would sit on the balcony and judge every passerby. The inside jokes, the tears, the hugs, the words of comfort. How do you forget those and tell yourself to not feel the way you do?
And even if you manage to do so, will the two of you really ever get back to being as close as you once were? Won't that result in you falling for him all over again?
You take hold of another glass of shot when you realise that you were overthinking again. Today your plan is to get enough alcohol in your system so that you do not overthink the little things.
"What is he doing here?" Blair whispers to herself.
"Who?" Your tipsy mind gets distracted by that and you start checking left and right to catch sight of the person she's talking about.
"Jin."
Your eyes widen in shock and you freeze in your seat. "Jin is here?"
Blair nods, feeling the same amount of disbelief as you.
"Should I hide in the washroom?" You whisper shout. You don't even know why you feel the need to run when you and Jin have had a civil conversation just a few weeks ago. All you know is that you do not wish to face Jin. You are not ready to face the stir of emotions Jin would inevitably ignite.
"Fun fact, his eyes are fixed here," she quips with a mix of annoyance and amusement. "I'm also pretty sure, he's aware that we are talking about him."
You shut your eyes and groan audibly. "Fuck. Just what I needed."
"Fun fact part two, he's coming here."
As soon as she completes her sentence, you hear your name being called.
"Y/N."
"Jin!" You put on a fake smile and try to seem as excited as you possibly can. You won't allow your spirits to dwindle so easily. "What are you doing here?"
Jin thinks for a brief moment if he should lie and say that it was a coincidence but then decides otherwise. "Well, Jimin texted me that you're here and I had something important to tell you, so,"
"Well, I don't feel stalked at all." You grin sarcastically.
Jin smiles. That's the first stage of you getting drunk; getting sassy. "Well, I'd be hurt if you were to call me a creepy stalker."
He says it with such a soft look of adoration that Blair has to clear her throat loudly to announce her presence.
"I'm Blair," she introduces herself.
Jin understands that Blair's words are directed at him and he politely puts his hand forward in greeting. "I'm Jin."
Blair nods and shakes his hand. From the look in his eyes, she already has an idea about why Jin might be here and if what she's assuming is right, she should really get out of here as quickly as she can.
"Well, it's good that you are here, I have somewhere to go. Take care of her," as soon as the words are out of her mouth, Blair quickly leaves the spot knowing very well how you are going to react.
You gasp dramatically, concerned about how quickly she changed her colours. What a traitor you have as a friend.
Jin sits on the stool next to you before you can recover from your shock. "So what have you been drinking?"
You look at Jin with your mouth parted open, still having a hard time understanding what just happened in the span of a few minutes. How you came to the club to temporarily forget about Jin and how now, you are sitting right next to him.
You blink a few times to let the shock subside and with Blair gone, you feel your adrenaline rush fade away.
"I don't know, Blair ordered it," you shrug.
He hums, fiddling with his fingers on the table. "Any special reason you are out here clubbing on a weekday?"
"Nah," you say just as casually as you had uttered the previous sentence. Maybe it's because of the alcohol but you don't find yourself feeling anxious in his presence. There's only a very little amount of unease but that's only because you don't want to get too into your emotions.
Jin watches you closely. You don't look drunk, just tipsy. And thankfully, for him, you don't seem to be too bothered by the fact that he just invited himself.
Someone might say that he's being overdramatic coming all the way to say something he could have said any other time. But when Jimin texted him that you're here, his thoughts started getting a little wild.
What if you were in a club trying to get over him? What if some hot bartender catches your eye? What if your friends are telling you that you deserve better? (The last one, Jin agrees with)
It's fair to say that those thoughts made him rush to this place so that he can finally say what he figured out in the last few days.
Jin inhales deeply and asks the million-dollar question. "Do you– do you still love me?"
You choke on your drink and a series of coughs that follows. Jin immediately asks for a glass of water and helps you calm down.
"What kind of a question is that?" You ask in a raspy voice when your coughing fit subsides.
"A very important one?" He asks you back, his brows now furrowing in nervousness.
You mimic his expression, only that your brows furrow in annoyance. "What kind of people do you hang around with to get the idea that people's feelings change in the span of a few weeks?"
Ah, yes. You're sassy right now.
Jin's features soften and he looks at you with a look of disbelief.
"So you still love me?" He asks in a whisper, too scared to say the words out loud.
"Unfortunately, yes." You nod.
Before you can take hold of another glass of shot, Jin's hand comes to rest on yours. You look at him in confusion, wondering what even is he up to.
"Well, I love you too," a wide smile breaks out on his face as if the thought of you is enough to make him happy.
This time, you choke on thin air. "Excuse me?!"
He takes your hand and brings it to his lips. "I'm sorry it took me so long, but now that I know, I just want to be with you forever."
Your eyes follow his movements and you find your breathing getting shallower and only one question coming to your mind; Is this really happening?
Jin notices the way you seem to have run out of words. It makes him want to smirk in satisfaction but at the same time wrap you in his arms. Had he known you would react this way, he would have done this way sooner. But he was busy being a fool back then.
You were always by his side, through the worst and the best. You were his only constant in the world of variables. He always felt so at home with you, that the thought of changing the dynamics never occurred to him. You two were perfect being best friends and he thought that was how it was going to be forever.
But then he's also a hopeless romantic at heart. He has always dreamt of his perfect partner and what life with them will look like. He has also had his fair share of crushes and relationships but never did the faceless person from his dreams appear to be one of them.
Now that he thinks of it, he knows why that was the case.
"You don't have to say anything," Jin adds, not wanting you to stress about it. "I just needed you to know that I love you and I'm sorry for realising it so late."
Now as sassy as you are when you're tipsy, you're just as bold. Without thinking any further, you lean forward and kiss him. It's odd and something your sober self would never do, but right now you're definitely not sober. Plus, you can leave the overthinking for her when she wakes up tomorrow. At the moment, the only thing that matters to you is that the man you so irrevocably love, loves you back.
Jin freezes and his eyes widen in shock when he feels your lips on his.
He knows you are only doing this because you are drunk. He knows that had you been sober you would have asked a million questions by now. He also, knows that he shouldn't be kissing you back but when he hears a whine of complaint from you at his lack of enthusiasm, his resolve crumbles.
He gently puts his palms on your cheeks and kisses you back passionately. The warm sensation of your lips on his makes his head spin and he wonders how on earth has he gone so long without doing this.
However, he pulls back when he feels your tongue against his lips. "We should get you home."
You shake your head like a stubborn child. "No, I don't want to go."
Gosh, he wants to kiss that pout away. How did he not realise that it's been you all along?
Blair watches from a distance as you throw your hands in the air like a small child and a smile makes its way onto her lips. Guess, she won't have to worry about you moping anymore.
Yoongi
As soon as the doorbell rings, you freeze. That must be Yoongi.
You have been looking forward to this moment and at the same time have been dreading it. But it's one of those things that you know just needs to be done.
You haven't had a single moment of peace since yesterday. It's tiring honestly. You don't know how the conversation with Yoongi will go, but you at least hope that after this you won't feel this heavy weight on your shoulders and will be able to have a good night's sleep.
With that hope, you open the door and you're greeted by Yoongi in a purple suit and the sight itself makes you swallow. You really wish you could marry him.
Shaking the thought away, you welcome him in and ask him to take a seat on the couch.
"Would you like some tea or coffee?" You query
Yoongi shakes his head. "Nothing really. I had coffee before leaving."
Well then, guess you won't get the time to figure out how to start the conversation.
You take a seat on the opposite couch and play with the rings that adorn your fingers. "I called you at my place because there's something important we need to talk about and I thought that a public place isn't suitable for the conversation."
Yoongi nods. He won't lie but he shares the same view. It's difficult for him as it is to talk about his emotions. He doesn't want to imagine having to explain why he came across as nonchalant to your confession and how he respects your honesty, more than he could show.
However, nothing could have prepared him for the next words that leave your mouth.
"I think we should not go forward with this marriage."
Your words cause Yoongi to choke. Out of all the things he wanted to discuss with you, he never saw this coming. "What?!"
Seeing Yoongi react like this catches you slightly off guard. Usually, he always has his emotions in check and is unreadable. It always makes you feel like he's out of reach. However, right now, you can read him like a book, which oddly enough gives you a sense of satisfaction.
"We should not get married." You repeat your words and wait for Yoongi's shocked features to subside.
Yoongi looks at you and notices how determined you seem, as if you have thought about this long and hard and only then have you come to this decision. The thought that there's probably no changing your mind, scares him.
Clearing his throat, he tries to sound as calm as he can. "Why though?"
Now it's your turn to be surprised. Isn't it obvious why the two of you shouldn't get married?
Chewing on your lower lip, you ponder how you should frame your words. After a brief pause, you start with a gentle tone that somehow comes out sad.
"When two people love each other, they get married. Not because they have to, but because they want to. It's like this celebration of their love, where they declare to the world that they are each other's for the rest of eternity. But you see, that's the most important factor–" you look up to lock eyes with Yoongi. "–love."
Love.
It's a word Yoongi has hardly ever given thought to.
Yoongi knows what it feels like to be loved. His parents love him, his sister loves him, his friends love him, his dog loves him. He also knows what it is like to love someone because he loves these people just as much. But love in the way you describe it? Yoongi has never felt that.
From a very young age, he has known that it will be his parents who will choose who he is to marry. Which is why he has never felt or given much thought to what it is like to want to spend his whole life with someone.
But clearly, you have.
It looks like you know exactly what you want and he won't lie, he envies that. He wonders what it's like for someone to know what they want so clearly that they won't settle for anything less.
"We can always fall in love," he says with a small shrug as if it's not a big deal. The gesture makes his words look insincere and although it's true that he doesn't realise the intensity of his words, it's also true that he had shrugged simply to hide how uncomfortable he feels. He has never had to talk to someone about falling in love with them.
You chuckle humorlessly. "I don't think you realise what falling in love really means."
Yoongi wants to feel offended by your words but he can't. Because you're right. "Well, it's never too late to learn."
You can tell that Yoongi is being genuine. But you don't know how you should perceive his genuineness. Should you feel flattered that he's willing to give your marriage a try? Or should you feel sad that he has to try falling in love with someone?
You don't know what the answer to that would be but the thought of him falling for you because he had no other choice, does not sit right with you. Even if you two were happy one day, maybe somewhere at the corner of your mind will be the thought that he fell for you only because you two were forced into this marriage.
"I don't think it will work, Yoongi," you say with a sigh.
Yoongi's brow furrows in frustration. Why are you complicating things like this? "I don't understand what exactly is the problem?"
Here goes nothing.
"We have been on ten dates so far and on none of those occasions, did you ever seem interested in getting to know me on a deeper level. You are a closed book and I respect that it might not be easy for everyone to be open, but what counts is the effort. We have never had an open conversation or proper communication." Your voice comes out even, not a speck of anger or disappointment lacing your words. It sounds like you're only reading out observations from a science experiment. "Why do you think that is? If you were to ask me, and I might be wrong, but it's because you were never interested in the prospect of marrying."
"Had I not asked to break the marriage, things would have been pretty much the same and I would have never voiced these thoughts. You would have made no effort and I would have been trying way too hard to fulfil my wishes. Don't you see how wrong that could go?"
Yoongi remains speechless with his mouth parted.
"It's not only that, though," a small smile appears on your lips. "When you believe in love as much as I do, you'd know that love is inevitable. Everyone deserves it, including you. And I hope that when you do fall in love, you get to walk with them with your head held high without worrying about the wife you had to marry to boost your business."
With each word that comes out of your mouth, you feel a weight being lifted off of your chest one by one. Last night, you stayed up with countless thoughts running through your head. Countless reasons and scenarios why this marriage won't work and would be painful for both of you. Especially you.
Yoongi takes a deep inhale and lets the silence linger.
What else is even there to say? You have given this a whole lot of thinking while he has hardly ever thought about it. Which only goes on to prove your point and how different both of your views on marriage are.
Indeed, he has never shown much effort towards establishing a connection between the both of you. There's no denying that, but he wishes he could tell you that it's not because he wasn't interested in forming one but rather that he does not know how to.
He knows there's no point in clarifying that now though, it will only sound like he's making excuses. Hence, he settles for responding to you with the only sentence that he thinks is relevant.
"We can't break this alliance."
"I know," you nod. "It won't be easy but I'm sure we both will come up with a way to convince our parents."
Yoongi huffs, sensing that you are underestimating his words. "Do you know that the deal has been signed?"
Your eyes widen in shock and disbelief. "What?! H–When?"
Your reaction is enough for Yoongi to know that you indeed, had no idea about the papers being finalised and signed. Your previous words make much sense to Yoongi now and why you thought that the two of you even had any other option but to get married to each other.
"About a week ago," he replies, expression now turning sombre. "I got to know about it only a couple of days ago."
A week ago? That would be around the time you and Yoongi went on your last date where you had confessed to him your feelings. Was it around the same time that both of your doors to escape were closed?
Panic shoots through your veins when the thought that there might be no way out, comes to your mind. No, no, no. There has to be some way.
But is there really?
Yoongi's company is way bigger than your father's. If the two of you back down now, the deal will be cancelled but it will be your father's company that will suffer the most whereas Yoongi's will recover in a few days. It was one thing if the deal was not signed. No gains, no losses. But now, it would be no gain, only losses.
How can you do that to your parents knowing how much stress it will cause them?
You can't.
"I don't have any other choice, do I?" Your voice comes out small, highly in contrast with how confidently you were speaking a few minutes ago.
"I don't think we do," Yoongi sighs, a deep sadness looming over his chest at how dejected you look. "But if it makes you feel any better, we can make a deal."
An abrupt chuckle escapes your lips. "Another deal? Haven't we already had enough?"
"This deal gives you the choice to be free," he comments, noticing how a small hopeful glint appears in your eyes.
"How?"
"Let's stay married for a year, if you still want an out after that, we will get divorced."
Yoongi's words give you a pause.
You can't say that the deal is ideal but it is better than nothing. It gives you the hope that the two of you won't be stuck in a loveless marriage. It also does not create the pressure of being happy with each other because that's the only option.
After thinking for a few moments, you realise that this indeed is what it has all come down to and you'll have to accept it whether you like it or not.
"What about the business deal?" You query, your brain jumping to the concerns of the after-effects of having a divorce.
"By that time, the majority of shares will be transferred to me, I'll take care of it so that there is minimal loss."
You nod and sit back, feeling exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster this conversation has been. You just wish things were simple. That you both could get married to people you were in love with. Or that you both were in love with each other.
The thought makes you look at Yoongi. You can still feel the butterflies in your stomach but there's also this dread that tags along.
Last night, you had considered every possible scenario, and each one of them convinced you why this marriage is not a good idea. But out of all those, there was one which stood out, one that scared you the most and was the most heartbreaking.
The possibility of you falling in love with Yoongi but his response being the same as it was on your last date. You know that the pain you went through this time, would be nothing compared to the pain you would experience then.
You don't want that.
The thought scares you so much, that you make a promise to yourself to not let your guard down so that the situation never occurs.
Hoseok
"You went a little too hard on us today," you say, breathless as you take a bottle of water and uncap it.
Hoseok chuckles. "You say that after every class."
"Do I?" You ask with a small smile, knowing very well that you indeed do. But can you be blamed when Hoseok loses track of time when it comes to dancing and the only thing he focuses on is perfection?
He raises a brow as if asking you to stop pretending and you raise your arms in the air in mock surrender.
He chuckles and shakes his head in amusement. "That's what I thought."
"Oh by the way," you say all excited. "I binge-watched little women during the weekend."
Hoseok's grin widens at the thought that you took the time to watch his recommended show. "Did you enjoy it?"
A thoughtful look appears on your face. "I think it would have been better if the girls had more wins throughout but then I guess it wouldn't have been realistic."
Hoseok hums, understanding where you're coming from. That's an emotion he shares as well. While watching the show, he too wished that the girls didn't have to go through so many ups and downs.
"But you know what I liked?" You say with sparkling eyes.
"What?" Hoseok asks, the gleam in your eyes doing something to his heart.
"Choi Do-il's character!" You say with a small smirk on your lips.
Hoseok finds your behaviour amusing. "Liked him huh?"
"How can I not? He's so cool! He was so loyal to In-joo and he has such a sharp mind, made such tough decisions on the spot." You blabber. "I wish there was someone like him in real life, I'd fall for him in the blink of an eye."
"I wonder what Henry would have to say about that," he replies in a teasing tone, trying to pull your leg. But his smile fades when he sees that your excited expression has now turned sombre.
You shake your head with a soft smile. "Well, we have broken up, so I don't think he would have anything in particular to say."
Hoseok hates that his first reaction is that of joy, which is soon followed by a feeling of guilt. He had convinced himself that he wasn't waiting for this particular day but now, his reaction clearly proves otherwise.
For the time being, he puts his emotions aside and puts your feelings first.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
You sigh. "There isn't anything to talk about. The relationship had run its course."
And that's the truth.
Things were pretty smooth at first, but when the honeymoon phase faded, somewhere down the line, both of you realised that you two weren't right for each other.
The breakup wasn't painful for either of you and maybe that's what acceptance is supposed to be like. It was coming to this understanding that the both of you make great friends but there isn't much hope when it comes to something more than that.
Hoseok chews on his lower lip and wonders what's the right thing to say.
It has been six months since that day in the club and five months and three weeks since he realised that his feelings for you run deeper than he had initially thought.
The first three weeks that followed after his realisation was not easy for him at all. He tried his best to be in denial but with time, he couldn't deny it anymore and he felt anger. Anger towards himself for having the audacity to accept that he has any form of romantic feelings for you after you had been so brave about yours and had put your heart on a plate only for him to be a complete dumb wit. Which was soon followed by the feeling of loss. He lost the opportunity when he had it and won't probably ever get it again.
But after that, it started getting better.
He accepted the fact that you have moved on with someone else and are happy with them. But that doesn't mean he did not get jealous every once in a while when he stumbled upon a picture of you and Henry on Instagram. That little spark of jealousy would serve as the reminder that somewhere deep down, he still wishes for you to be his.
There have been times when he had thought about what he would do if someday, years later you and Henry were to break up. But never did he prepare himself for it. Plus, now, he finds it ridiculous that he had always thought that this would be an opportunity for him to correct his mistake when you could have very well removed any feelings for him from the very root.
Before he can figure it out though, you sense the awkward silence and make an effort to break it. "I'm over it though, it does not bother me."
Hoseok nods softly, his thoughts still muddled. "How long has it been?"
"About a month."
Hoseok observes you closely from his peripheral. He notices how relaxed your features are and concludes that the topic of your breakup isn't necessarily a painful one for you. You also seem, pretty okay with the idea of the two of you having broken up, which makes him hope that you have moved on from Henry. And if in case you haven't, he will wait as long as it takes for you to let someone new in and he will do everything he possibly can to be that someone.
"This might be inappropriate but are you planning to return to the dating world?" Hoseok tries to look as casual as he can by pretending to arrange the CDs on the shelf.
It takes a few moments for you to think about the question before you can come up with an answer.
Are you looking for someone you can date? Not really.
When you had downloaded Tinder all those months ago, it was simply so that you can find a distraction from Hoseok and move on. Fortunately, you found that and more in Henry. But now, that chapter is over and you don't find yourself actively looking for someone to be with.
"Not at the moment, no," you reply honestly. "Maybe a few months later, I'll reinstall Tinder," you laugh at the thought.
Hoseok hums, with his back facing you. "When you decide to reinstall the app, do tell me."
You don't think much of his words and innocently ask, "Why?"
The whole of Hoseok's body heats up in anxiety and he starts putting the CDs on the shelf at a much high speed. "Because then I'll install tinder too and will search you up."
Your frown morphs into an expression of surprise and your lips part to form a small 'o'.
Is…..is Hoseok saying what you think he's saying? Is it his way of saying that he would like to take you out on a date? And say, if the answer to these questions is, yes, what will you do?
In the six months that you have been with Henry, you haven't thought of Hoseok in that way. The intensity of your feelings lessened and you could let yourself be friends with him without letting your feelings get in the way.
But are your feelings for him gone?
You don't know.
Hoseok is a great friend of yours. He is nice, charming, kind, helpful and talented. Not to mention that he is utterly gorgeous. Anyone would be lucky to have him as their partner. But do you still want him as one?
You look at Hoseok and realise that the thought of being with him doesn't feel weird. If anything, it causes a little bit of excitement to stir up in your stomach.
It's true that your crush on him is not as deep as it once was and you're not looking for a relationship at the moment, but for some reason, you feel like when you're ready, you may just fall for him harder than you have ever before.
Clearing your throat, you come up with a response that you think is just right. "In that case, I'll have to make sure that I don't forget to tell you about it."
Hoseok turns around immediately to look at you with a surprised look as if that was the last thing he had expected you to say. But when that surprised look turns into that of relief, your previous questions about Hoseok's intent are answered.
A smile appears on his lips when his surprise fades and he makes a promise to himself to not waste the chance you have been kind enough to give him again. "I'll eagerly wait for that day"
Something in your heart blooms at the soft look he gives you and you nod.
After that, both of your chit-chat resumes and you two giggle and laugh like never before while you pack your stuff. Once you're done, you get ready to leave. "I'll get going then?"
With a gleeful smile, Hoseok responds, "see you next Saturday."
As you're walking out of the door, a thought appears to you. "Oh, also, you can't search for people on Tinder."
And then you're gone.
Hoseok watches your retreating figure and he has to try really hard to stop smiling like a fool.
Maybe there will be no need for Tinder after all.
Namjoon
"I love Y/N," as soon as the words are out of his mouth, he winces, anticipating and dreading Yoongi's reaction.
Yoongi, on the other hand, merely blinks at Namjoon's words. ".....and?"
Out of all the reactions, Namjoon thought Yoongi would give, this was not one of them. This makes things way scarier for him because he thinks this is Yoongi's version of 'calm before the storm'.
"Listen, you can be mad at me all you want. I understand but I just wanted to let you know." Namjoon rambles, his voice coming out high-pitched.
A small frown appears on Yoongi's face. This is it, Namjoon thinks.
"Why do you assume that I'm mad?" Yoongi's question, however, leaves Namjoon perplexed. He searches for any form of pretence on Yoongi's features but when he doesn't find any, he sighs.
"I don't know–" Yoongi's frown deepening is enough for Namjoon to backtrack and start speaking the truth. "–you told me that if I were to ever try to show interest in your sister, our friendship would be over."
"I mean, I don't recall saying that but it does sound like something I'd say," Yoongi nods.
Now it's Namjoon's turn to frown. Is Yoongi mad or not? "What am I supposed to make of it?"
"Nothing," Yoongi shrugs. "I should rather ask you, what was your purpose in telling me that you have feelings for Y/N? Was it because you felt like you had to ask for my permission? Or were you scared that it would affect our friendship?" A chuckle escapes Yoongi's lips.
Namjoom sighs, feeling his muscles relax as he finally lets himself realise that Yoongi isn't mad. "I think it's more of the latter."
"So you won't ask for my permission, before pursuing her?" A scowl appears on Yoongi's face which immediately makes Namjoon stutter.
"I–I–I didn't mean that. Of course, I would ask for your permission."
Yoongi tries his hardest to hold back the satisfied smirk that tries to make an appearance. It's nice to see Namjoon being scared of him every once in a while.
"That's better," Yoongi hums. "And you don't have to worry about ruining our friendship and all that shit. That's very high school."
Namjoon feels like he can breathe again. After weeks, it feels like he can finally be honest with himself and most importantly with you, without being scared. A wide dimpled smile appears on his face at the thought of finally confessing to you.
"Gosh, that's annoying," Yoongi huffs, with no real annoyance in his tone. If anything, he's glad to see the wide grin on his friend's face. "If she does reciprocate your feelings and the two of you become a couple, I do hope that the two of you don't turn out to be one of those intolerable ones."
You find almost everything intolerable. That's the thought that comes to Namjoon's mind but before he can speak those words, a much scary thought appears to him which takes his breath away.
"What if Y/N does not accept my feelings?" His voice comes out in a whisper, too scared to speak those words loudly.
Yoongi thinks the chances of that happening are very low. But he chooses not to say it. It's your feelings, you're the only one who knows where they lie. Yoongi does not wish to assume. Instead, he chooses to assure his friend that even if he were to get turned down, he will be there for him.
"I will order a bottle of champagne and soju, each. If things work out, then we will celebrate with champagne. If they don't, then we can have soju."
Namjoon is grateful for Yoongi's words, he really is but the fear that courses through his veins makes it impossible for him to think straight. "You don't get it. She confessed to me and I turned her down."
This time, a genuine scowl appears on Yoongi's face. "Why would you do that?"
Namjoon lets out a heavy breath. "I thought you'd be mad and our friendship would get ruined."
Yoongi tries his hardest not to let his eyes roll but ultimately fails. "Now I remember why I had told you not to pursue my sister."
Namjoon's heart drops at the comment. Is Yoongi about to change his mind?
"One because it was high school and you were going through your fuckboy stage," Yoongi says, with squinted eyes that make it obvious that he's judging Namjoon. "Second, you were dense as fuck at times. Which, clearly, hasn't changed even now."
That had been two days ago.
After the very scary chat session with Yoongi, Namjooon needed some time to recover. Two days to be exact. Now he has finally managed to grab the courage to talk to you and be honest.
His hands hover in the air for a few moments before he knocks. He hopes and wants this to go well, otherwise, he thinks, he won't be able to forgive himself.
You frown when you hear the knock. Who has decided to bother you on a fine Sunday?
You set aside the book you were reading and begrudgingly get up. With heavy steps, you head towards the door and swing it open. The regret that hits you is instantaneous. You should have checked through the peephole before opening.
Namjoon notices your features drop and it makes him feel terribly guilty for his actions and words. With that guilt, also comes the strong need to make things right.
"Do you need something?" You keep your tone cold to avoid any display of emotion. It's not that you are mad at him for the rejection. You're hurt about it, sure. Mad? No.
However, you feel incredibly embarrassed about confessing the way you did. You are aware that you were under the influence of alcohol but that doesn't make it any less humiliating.
"I need to talk to you," Namjoon replies shakily as he finds his anxiety increasing. What if you have decided to move on or have come to the conclusion that he isn't worth it?
You'd really like to make an excuse as to why you wouldn't be able to talk right now but something in you makes you decide otherwise. Maybe it's because you don't want things to be awkward between the two of you as it would put Yoongi in a tough spot. Or maybe it's because you hate seeing Namjoon so anxious, that you find yourself moving out of his way.
"Can I take a seat?" He asks awkwardly, with his index finger pointing at the couch, when he realises that you are simply waiting for him to start talking about whatever it is that he is here for.
You are aware that you are being rude but you honestly don't know how to behave 'normally' around him, anymore. So, you simply hum and wait for him to take a seat.
"Uhm," he clears his throat, "I wanted to talk to you about what happened at the party."
"We can talk about anything but that," you say pointedly. There's no way you are going to talk about that night when all you want is to leave that memory somewhere far behind.
Namjoon notices the discomfort that etches your features despite your attempts at hiding it and sighs. "Okay, then I won't bring that up but I need to tell you something."
"Go on."
Namjoon takes in a deep breath before closing his eyes to grab the courage to let the words spill out. "I'm in love with you."
At first, the words don't sink in.
You stand there, leaning against the wall, watching Namjoon. However, when you see the scared and anxious look on his face, you replay his words in your mind.
I'm in love with you.
He's in love with you.
The thought makes you angry.
You scoff. "Do you expect me to take you seriously?"
Namjoon shakes his head. "I don't expect you to but just hear me out."
"I don't want to." You declare stubbornly.
"I know but give me just one chance to explain myself." He pleads gently, not wanting you to feel as if you have to hear him out. He has already caused you enough pain and if you choose that you do not wish to hear him out, he is going to respect that.
You want to laugh at Namjoon's request. You can accept the fact that he does not have feelings for you, no matter how hard that might be. But accepting that he is in love with you after the pain that you have been through? You can't accept that.
You'd very much like to close this topic and never have either of you mention it. But you can't say no to Namjoon when he looks like that. He is one of your biggest weaknesses and not hearing him out would cause you pain as well.
Instead of telling him verbally that you will hear him out, you look out of the window and stare outside blankly, which is enough for Namjoon to know that you're listening.
"I never thought that my feelings would be reciprocated. Which is why, I did not know what to say and said what I thought was right, at the time," his voice comes out vulnerable.
You feel your annoyance flaring. If that really were the case he could have just said the truth. Why lie? Whose first instinct is to lie about their feelings, upon realising that they are not one sided?
Namjoon's next words answer your unasked question. "After my last two relationships ended the way, they did, I thought that all my relationships were destined to be doomed. I was scared to commit to anyone, especially you."
He sighs. "If we were to date and break up, it would change everything not only for the both of us but also for Yoongi. And if that were to happen I'd never be able to forgive myself."
It was around the time that Namjoon mentioned his last two relationships, that you stopped pretending to not care about what he had to say. You know how sensitive the topic is for him and for him to bring it up now, it must be serious.
To put it simply, his last two relationships ended terribly. But each time, Namjoon blamed himself and thought that it was entirely his fault, which you know isn't the case.
Now that Namjoon breaks it down to you, you find your anger fading and find yourself sympathising with him. You may not agree with his actions but you can understand where he was coming from.
What you don't understand, however, is why he is telling you these things. If you're understanding him right, he said what he said at the party because he was scared. But now, he is here, telling you that he loves you. But why?
"Why are you telling me this?" You ask and you are surprised by the lack of coldness in your voice. Maybe it's because he's being vulnerable with you that gives you the courage to put your embarrassment aside for the time being.
Namjoon smiles softly. "I had a chat with Yoongi and it made me realise that I am the only one who thinks this way."
He was indeed scared shitless of his feelings affecting the friendship between him and Yoongi. He had taken Yoongi's cautionary way too seriously and while he was under that impression, what scared him even more was that he would take the risk of being with you only to later wish that he had stayed in his lane. He thought that maybe Yoongi too shares the same viewpoint as he does and hence had asked him to stay from you.
When he had gathered the courage to talk about it to Yoongi, it was with the intention of getting Yoongi's approval. Namjoon already knew that he wasn't going to listen to the voice in his head and that you were worth the risk.
However, when Namjoon went back to his dorms and thought about the conversation he had with Yoongi, it made him realise that he was the only one who was holding these beliefs. Not only that, but Yoongi's reaction made him believe in himself, because even if Yoongi won't ever say it out loud, his calm and nonchalant behaviour was him letting Namjoon know that he trusts him.
"Plus," Namjoon continues, "I know I would regret it forever if I were to let you go simply because I was scared."
You swallow at his words as any remaining trace of anger is washed away from your body.
You know it can't be easy to do something when your insecurities are constantly telling you to do otherwise. But him doing just that, serves as a testimony of his love for you. Hence, even though at the beginning you weren't willing to accept his declaration of love, now you find your heart melting.
"So," you fiddle with your fingers. "What does all this mean?"
"Well if you have forgiven me for my stupidity, I'd like to take you out on a date." Namjoon hopes it isn't too soon to ask you out. But more than anything else, he wishes for your forgiveness.
His words make your chest hurt and you immediately rush to make things clear. "There's nothing to be forgiven, I never held a grudge against you."
"But you wouldn't even look at me?" He asks, with a pained look.
Your heart sinks further. You had thought that it was only painful for you clearly that wasn't the case. "That's because I was embarrassed. It's just incredibly stupid to get drunk because you saw the man you love kissing someone else and then going and confessing like that."
Aaaahhhh.
Right, that whole him making out with someone, thing. He now remembers you mentioning it at the party.
"Sorry to break it to you, but I did not kiss anyone," a small amused smile plays on his lips. "I was only helping the girl to get rid of something that had gotten into her eyes."
Your eyes widen when you hear that. Gosh, could you be any more stupid? You close your eyes tightly and groan in annoyance.
Namjoon gets up from the couch and slowly walks towards you. He understands why it might have looked like he was making out with someone, after all, parties have the worst lighting. But he doesn't want you to feel embarrassed about it. After all, if it hadn't been for that misunderstanding, you would have never confessed and neither would he.
After a small moment of hesitation, he puts his palm on your cheek and urges you to open your eyes.
"Hey," he whispers. "I'm really glad you misunderstood things that day. But I can assure you, that yours are the only lips I would ever want to kiss."
His words make you gulp. Here you were drowning in embarrassment a few moments ago and here you are now, breathless from the close proximity.
"Prove it," you whisper back.
Namjoon's eyes fall on your lips. As much as he would like to feel how soft your lips are, he wants to do things right.
With great willpower, he brings his eyes back to yours and kisses you on the forehead. "Trust me, there's nothing more I want than kissing you right now. But I want to take you out on a date first."
You chuckle at his words. "Well then, take me out on a date and at the end of it, kiss me like you mean it."
Namjoon's heart does a little dance at your words and he already feels his mind coming up with ideas of how he can make the date one that you never forget. "I'll make the date as perfect as you are."
Maybe you two will indeed be like one of those couples, Yoongi finds intolerable.
A/N: I definitely plan to write a Ceo Yoongi series with these two, hence that's how I decided to write them for this part!
For early access to maknae line and for choosing what characters you want the maknae line to play, head over to my patreon! Hope you enjoyed reading this part!
#Jin x reader#Jin au#Jin reaction#Best friend Jin#Jin angst#Yoongi x reader#Yoongi au#Ceo Yoongi#Arranged marriage au#yoongi angst#Jin fluff#Hoseok angst#Hoseok x reader#Hoseok reaction#Dance instructor hoseok#Namjoon x reader#Namjoon au#Namjoon angst#Namjoon FF#Brother's best friend au#Namjoon fluff
473 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey, Blair! Can I please request the ericson gang x clem with an s/o who bites to show their affection/love? like they're sitting in their room just all quiet and in silence and reader is all happy and doesn't know how to express it with words so they just bites them (not hard enough to hurt them) on their like arm or shoulder?
Thank you, my lovely Blair Blair <3
AWWWW LITERALLY LOVE THAT AND ANYTHING FOR U LANA!<<33
TWDG Ericsson gang plus clem with an S/O who bites to show affection
Clementine
She was very surprised and low key startled lmao!
She was just sat down having a good time relaxing and then she felt something bite her
Now she started to panic out of instinct and she quickly looked down at her arm
Well It was just you…huh 🧍♀️
She sighed and laughed before very gently biting your hand back and wiping any saliva off her shoulder lmao
She honestly finds it very cute!
However it does take her a while to get use to it, because being bit was not something good out there yk
But after she gets use to it she loves when you do it and she will get you back
Violet
She was totally confused
One moment you two where having a lovely time together
And she turns to you, just going to give you a quick and simple kiss on the cheek
And what does she see and feel?
CHOMP
Did you just bite her? Did you turn without her knowing?
You look up and give her a huge grin
Ok wtf?
She’s half laughing and half about to throw you into space
She’d ask why tf you chose to do that and you’d explain your self
She laughs and rolls her eyes
She’d give you a big hug
She low key loves it lmao even if it makes her clothes all slimy 😔
Mitch
This man was so fucking confused
Like he was just chilling with you
Everything is perfect (minus the undead walking about eating people)
Then he felt someone bite him
This instantly put him in attack mode
Until he realised it was just you
“Ow!- Right!-…oh…wtf was that for 🤨”
You give him a cheeky grin then explain
“Ohhhhhh…”
He takes a few minutes to process it before gently and playfully pushing you away
“Grate, now I have your slobber on me.”
He acts annoyed but he does love it really lmao
Marlon
He low key loves it!
You two where just enjoying each other’s company
Then chomp! U bit him!
He was shocked at first
Then he looked at you and burst out laughing
He’d hug you and ask you about it
And once your explain he just kisses you
He’d give you a very small bite back and just laugh about it lmaoo
He finds it very cute <3
Louis
He’s much like Marlon on this one, he loves it!
At first when you did it, he was just like
“Ow! Well…rude.”
He’s smiling tho so he isn’t mad!
Then you explain your self
“Ohhh! Well in that case-!”
Then he most definitely bites you back
You both burst out laughing and now it’s become your thing
You both now bite each other when your happy
If anyone sees it they think you’ve gone mental
But it makes you two laugh so who cares!
Aasim
Confused is the most minimal way to express his feelings lmao
When he felt a bite man screamed
He literally looks at you like this “😱😨😰”
He asks you like a million questions about it all at once
You really spooked this man huh?
You calm him down and explain
“😰…🤨…😠”
He acts all annoyed by it and will also complain about how unhygienic it is
But he does love it and will wrap an arm around you and give you a little squeeze to show you he’s not really mad
Omar
This man is quite concerned by he loves it
He obviously doesn’t expect it at first!
I mean your. Orb just sitting there, and then all of a sudden you bite him
And he’s to shocked to speak
After a few minutes he’d ask you about it in the most respectful way he can
And you explain again
And then he totally calms down
“Oh ok. :)”
He loves it lmao
Ruby
She likes it!
Obviously only when u do it gently lmao
When you first do it she gives you a shocked look but starts laughing
“Now what was that for! That wasn’t very nice!”
She’s only messing with you tho
Afterwards she will bite you back
Cheeky sods, the lot of yous.
Brody
She thinks it’s cute!
This girl was totally worried when you first do it!
Like it totally spooked her :(
But after you calmed her down and explain she relaxed a bit
She definitely feels more at peace now
And she starts giggling
I doubt she’d bite you back but she’d gently pinch you lmao
#twdg#twdg x reader#the walking dead game#twdg mitch#twdg louis#twdg marlon#twdg omar#twdg ruby#twdg violet#twdg aasim#twdg clementine
334 notes
·
View notes
Text
Secret feelings
Jess x FemReader
Warnings: fluff, little bit of angst
Summary: You decided to tell Jess about your feelings, and she has somwthing to tell you
Word count: 1510
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You've been in love with Jess since you two had met at college, but you never had self-confidence to admit that to her. And now, she's going to be married. Yeah, it hurted. A lot. But at the same time, you were happy for her. She found love, she's making a career. So if she is happy, you also are happy.
So now, here you are in Miami. At first it sounds pretty cool. A weekend with old friends and a woman who you secreatly love. Oh, and Pippa, Jess's friend from her semester in Australia, she's really nice.
But back to point, it would be delightful time, if Alice didn,t jump on that fucking striper. After you called Blair's uncle and he said you, that you can face up to fifteen years in prison, you threw the body into the ocean. But your lovely neighbors have fucking security cameras.
So know, you're standing on the balcony, watching Blair with them. To be honest, it's not what you would love to watch right know, but it's better than the police watching a video, where you're throwing a body into the ocean, so it will do.
After a few minutes you looked at Jess, who was watching the whole scene with binoculars. You chuckled at that.
And then you thought, now or never. If that what Blair is doing right now, won't work, you'll go to prison. So you decided that it couldn't be worse and you'll tell Jess about your feelings to her. You walked to her and leaned to whisper to her ear.
"Jess."
"Yeah?" She whispered back, slightly confused, why yu were whispering.
"Can we talk? In privet, please." You looked at her with pleadings eyes and she nodded.
You took her hand and pulled towards the door. You saw that Alice was looking at you both with a questioning expression, but it didn't matter.
You walked upstairs into one of bedrooms. After you closed the door you turned around to Jess, who was standing next to dresser. She was looking at you with concern.
"Y/N what happened?" She walked over to you and took your hands in hers.
"Jess" You grabbed her hands even tighter.
"Y/N?"
"You know, if they won't give us the video we will go to jail. And I know you're getting married soon, so it's not the best moment for that, but it is the best moment for that." You started getting nervous and think that it was not the best ideo to tell her now.
"Y/N what the fuck are you talking about?!" She yelled and let go of your hands.
"Jess, I'm trying to say that I'm in love with you!" You yelled back with tears in your eyes. "I've been in love with you since we met! That's what I'm talking about." You started crying after that.
She was staring at you and didn't say anything. She wasn't crying, screaming that you never told her and that she's getting married and that you're fucking insane. The girls were long forgotten.
"Y/N what do you mean?" Jess's broken voice broke the silence.
"It doesn't matter." You shook your head. "Let's go downstairs, maybe they already finished." You laughed and grabbed the handle to open the door, but Jess stopped you closing them again.
"It does matter. It does fucking matter, because you just told me you're in love with me Y/N, SINCE FUCKING COLLEGE!" She also had tears in her eyes now.
"AND WHAT YOU'LL DO ABOUT THAT?! LEAVE PETER? TELL GIRLS? OR MAYBE YOU WILL TELL ME THAT YOU'RE IN LOVE ME TOO?" You were screaming at each other and you didn't even notice that.
"YES, I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU!" She screamed back. And that made you speechless. "For a long time, but you never noticed that and I thought that you would never feel the same, so I started dating and then I met Peter and just, I don't know." She sat down on the bed, lookinh at the wall in front of her.
You sat down next to her and grabbed her hand again, squeezing it.
"So, what do we do now?" You asked shyly.
"We'll go downstairs, tell them about that, then I'll call Peter and say that it's not going to work out."
You looked at her and you couldn't believe your ears. She wants to cancel the wedding? Because of you?
"You want to cancel the weeding? Because I told you I'm in love with you? Jess, I don't-" She put her hand on your mouth to silence you.
"I'm not doing this because you told me... Well, yeah I'm doing this because you told me, but also because I feel the same" She took your face into her hands and looked into your eyes. "I'm doing this because I fucking love you Y/N." And she kissed you. SHE FUCKING KISSED YOU. ON THE LIPS.
You kissed back immediately. Her lips were so soft, you were in heaven. Until she pulled back, what made you whine. She smirked and that made you realize what you did, you blushed.
"Now, darling, we're going downstairs and we're going to tell them that the weeding is cancel, but there is new relationship." She got up and pulled you up with her. Befor you left the room she had kissed you.
She held your hand all the way and when girls saw that, they looked at each other and at you two again.
"Care to explain?" Alice asked, sitting on the couch next to Frankie, who also was looking at you with big eyes.
"Wait, wait ,wait. Wait a minute! Are you two? Oh my god!" Pippa stood up, almost falling over. "What about Peter? I mean fuck him, but what about the weeding?" She walked to you, smiling.
"Yes, we just admitted that." You answered her question, putting you arms around Jess's waist.
"And I'm going to call Peter and tell him that I want to cancel the weeding." Jess added.
All four of them stared at you and only Pippa was smiling, what made you a little nervous and you could feel that Jess was a little worried too.
After a while, Frankie stood up and hugged you both. "Fuck him and fuck the weeding. You're finally happy and that matters."
"What dou you mean 'finally'?" You asked confused, hugging Jess even more.
"Something that always amuzed me is that, we knew that you have feelings for each other, but you both are too stubborn to admit that. But look, here we are, finally."
Jess started laughing and you were looking at Frankie with big eyes. "Really? And you never told me that?! You little bitch." After that you started laughing too.
"So, to be specific, we had killed a striper, we throwed his body into the ocean, I had to seduce these people to get a fucking video that doesn't even exist.
"Wait, what do you mean, it doesn't exist?" Jess asked Blair, slightly confused, just like you. A lot happened when you were absent.
"These cameras doesn't work." Alice answered.
"Yeah, and now you're telling me us, you want to cancel the weeding, because you two love each orher and you admitted that adter all these years?" Blair asked, looking at you, trying to understant what just happened.
"Yeah, you just summed up our trip to Miami." You said, still hugging Jess and she kissed you on the cheek. Frankie started clapping.
"Awsome." Blair reached out for a glass of wine and took a sip.
"So, we just summarized our trip, but excuse me for a moment I have to make a call to cancel my weeding." Jess kissed you and went to the kitchen to call Peter. You didn't want to go with her, it was already complicated.
You turned to the girls. "It was really that obvious we have feeling for each other?" They all nodded, except Pippa and you looked at her.
"We just met, but now I think yes, you could see it."
"Okay, so let's celebrate. The video doesn't exist, me and Jess admitted that we love each other and you knew that. But the most importnat thing, we got the rid of the body." You said cheerfully.
"I'm going to get something stronger." Alice said and she stood up quickly.
"Well, Y/N there is a little problem." Frankie said.
"What?"
"The body has washed up back on the shore." Frankie said quickly, that you almost didn't understand her.
"Alice bring whiskey or vodka, please." You said to Alice and you went to tell Jess that it wasn't over.
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
✧:･ﾟ( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ ) ･ﾟIntro･ﾟ( ̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:̲̅]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ ) ･ﾟ✧
(under read more)
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 About Me
: ̗̀➛ My name is Ame!! I go by many names but right now my main secondary name is Shiro. this is solely my blog.
: ̗̀➛ I use it/its pronouns and I am genderless and gay.
: ̗̀➛ I am taken by my lovely boyfriend, Kuro 🖤🖤
: ̗̀➛ I have cfs and DID. I am the host.
: ̗̀➛ I act kind of weird at times?? Not in an age regessor was but. I guess in a terminally online cutecore poster way. That usually passes and doesnt last long, it is particularly prominent during manic episodes or when im experiencing strong delusions. Please know that i also think its weird but i have no control over it. Its like im being possessed . Im so normal please
: ̗̀➛ this is a side blog, my main is @raincandy-uu
: ̗̀➛ I am working towards getting my credentials to become a teacher.
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Interests
: ̗̀➛ Needy Streamer Overload
: ̗̀➛ Menhera
: ̗̀➛ Yandere Simulator (the game sucks tho and so does yan dev. I just have issues)
: ̗̀➛ Happy Sugar Life (I DO NOT SHIP SATOU AND SHIO. I DO NOT SUPPORT PEDOPHILIA. I have a lotof thoughts about this. You wouldnt even understand)
: ̗̀➛ Undertale/Deltarune
: ̗̀➛ Homestuck (not as much anymore)
: ̗̀➛ Madoka Magica
: ̗̀➛ Drawing
: ̗̀➛ UTAU (primarily Shiro Chune)
: ̗̀➛ Manwha (this is rlly vague, i know, but i read so many and they are all kind of the same. I mainly read otome isekai)
: ̗̀➛ Creepypastas
: ̗̀➛ The Arcana Game (i also hate the game so so much. I hate nix hydra and dorian and i do not support any of the developers who worked on the game or are in charge of it now. the game is undeniably shit and is full of weird / bigoted beliefs. I dont like a LOT of the canon stuff and mainly post about headcanons)
: ̗̀➛ +more!!!!!!
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 BYF
: ̗̀➛ I will tag things for mutuals/friends, if you send an anonymous ask or I do not know you, I will not trigger tag (unless it is nsft or has flashing lights)
: ̗̀➛ I do not have a strict DNI, however I will block whoever I want. Do not message me asking why, I will not respond.
: ̗̀➛ I'd prefer if only those 16+ interacted, but if I follow you first (whether you have your age stated on your blog or not), do not worry about it.
: ̗̀➛ Endogenic/Tulpa/Non-traumatic "systems" and their "supporters" can go die. You are not welcome here.
: ̗̀➛ That being said, I do think of and consume media of toxic/abusive character relationships (although I tend to avoid non-consensual and pedophilic dynamics). I do not "ship" these relationships. I am not a pro shipper and i ask that any pro shippers kindly fuck off. (This goes for com ship/dark ship. Just be a normal fucking person and dont use weird ass labels lol)
: ̗̀➛ If you have any questions or concerns, please PM me or send public asks. Private ones will not be answered/will be met with a rude remark (sometimes blaire takes over my blog and they will say. Very rude things. )
: ̗̀➛ I will be reblogging medical/bloody/dark things, if that bothers you then do not follow
#.txt#.png#.mp4#.mp3#.html#.gif#even angels get emotional#all angels break down#desire for approval#angels flight#🖤kuro🦴#< boyfie tag :33#🍓shiro chune🍰
1 note
·
View note
Text
My Top TV Show Female Characters
I made a male version of this that some people actually read (thanks!!) So I thought it's time to make my female version! I'm sure there's more that I adore, but these are the ones that immediately came to mind. *In no particular order*
Brooke Davis (One Tree Hill)
A literal queen that will forever be special to me. If there's one character I will always defend no matter what, it's Brooke. Sophia Bush brought so much to this character and it truly shows throughout all 9 seasons. The emotions she was able to get out of me just by shedding a single tear, oof. Brooke Davis had one of the best character developments on One Tree Hill (alongside king Nathan Royal Scott). She forever deserved better and I'm so happy she ultimately got her happy ending.
Haley James Scott (One Tree Hill)
Keeping with the OTH theme, here's another queen that I love dearly. Bethany Joy Lenz was one of the best actors on this show and she brought so much to this character that I'm sure was only initially supposed to be your typical best friend to the main character. Haley James Scott was more than that. She is a wonderful wife (Naley forever my #1 otp and simply iconic) and mother. Not only that, but she's talented and funny af. Her humor is so underrated especially during her pregnancies lol. Not only that but never mess with her family cause she will quite literally fuck you up (*cough* see Rachel Gatina) 💀
Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl)
1/2 the reason why I even bothered with Gossip Girl to begin with. Takeaway that God awful relationship with the wannabe Batman voiced man, she is a literal queen that deserved better!! Leighton Meester's acting so underrated it annoys me that her career didn't skyrocket after this (there's still time though 🙏). Blair had her flaws, but was shown to be quite the good person despite everything. She is not only intelligent, but she's witty af and I love every bit of her sass. If only she had ended up with someone on her level mentally and spiritually.
Manny Santos (Degrassi TNG)
A whole ass trendsetting queen!!! Manuela Santos walked so that so many other bad ass tv women could run. The very first time I watched this show I instantly fell in love with her. She was honestly a good ass friend that dealt with so much shit that she didn't deserve. The abortion storyline was simply great because I'm almost positive girls watching the show felt safe knowing they had options when it comes to unplanned pregnancies. Her style? Immaculate. Her ability to change a once bad boy to an actual good guy? Iconic. Love her forever.
Stephanie Tanner (Full House)
This show was the very first sitcom I fell in love with as a little girl. I remember loving Stephanie. To the point where I wanted to join dance classes to be like her lol. I always was more invested in her storylines and I thought she was extremely relatable. Her catchphrases >>>> and the episode where she drove the car into the kitchen? Forever iconic. I haven't seen enough of Fuller House to give an opinion, but I'm sure she was just as iconic on there.
Jen Lindley (Dawsons Creek)
My sweet precious muffin. My cinnamon apple. Jen brought so much to this show. An iconic friendship (her and Jack 😭😍), amazing character development, and a lovable personality. I truly love her so much and I cannot believe the way her story ended. She deserved so much more. She was a beautiful person inside and out and Michelle Williams did such an amazing job. Especially when she was the youngest amongst the cast.
Lydia Martin (Teen Wolf)
My favorite banshee ❤ I seem to love characters with amazing character developments because here's yet another character that had amazing development. Lydia literally went from typical mean girl to an actual badass superhero. She was so real and so complicated (in a good way). I loved the depth to her character and forever happy they didn't keep her as the mean girl with no personality. Lydia Martin is a powerful woman. Also, her and Stiles forever have my heart.
Lois Lane (Smallville)
I love this show and the minute she came on I personally believe the show got better. Lois and Clark are legendary especially on Smallville. I know a lot of people preferred Lana and at first I was all Lana/Clark. But once Lois came on, I was like Lana who? Lois was more interesting and had better chemistry with Clark imo. I think my love for this character stems mainly from Erica Durance. She brought such a light and lovable vibe to this Lois.
April Kepner (Grey's Anatomy)
A strong ass woman. She faced so much hardship, but never ever gave up. Like the amount of shit this woman had to deal with?? It's always the characters that I love that have to deal with a lot and quite often never get the happiness they deserve. I'm so happy they brought her back and gave her a better and more proper ending with Jackson aka who she deserved to be endgame with. April could be quite neurotic to the point where it got annoying. But I still loved her and her flaws. She was extremely relatable. Also let's take a second to recognize how amazing Sarah Drew is.....the shooting episode and scene with the shooter??? ICONIC.
Tia and Tamera (Sister Sister)
Another sitcom I absolutely adore. Tia and Tamera are forever iconic queens in the show and in real life. I'll admit, Tia was favorite as a kid. I resonated with her more, but during my last rewatch as an adult I enjoyed the two of them and now I can't really choose a favorite. These two are my childhood ❤
#tv shows#haley james scott#bethany joy lenz#blair waldorf#leighton meester#manny santos#cassie steele#stephanie tanner#jodie sweetin#jen lindley#michelle williams#lydia martin#holland roden#lois lane#erica durance#april kepner#sarah drew#tia and tamera#one tree hill#greys anatomy#dawsons creek#gossip girl#full house#sister sister#teen wolf#smallville
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
sugar we’re going down swinging.
"i just don't want to see you get hurt again, c. remember how crushed you were after you know who?" her best friend brought up, matter of factly. "crushed is a little dramatic, a. and you can say his name. he’s not voldemort. " claire responded with a roll of her eyes. only to receive a scoff from the other woman in return. “please. you were like bella swan in new moon, but worse. girl, it was dark.” alexandra blair. roommate. best friend. wing woman. also: a fellow nepotism baby. she was right. the hole that peyton valdonna left in the heart of claire scott felt astronomical. so many days and nights where the heart ache felt simply unbearable, the pain would be evermore. that’s why she guarded her heart so tight in the first place. ‘i’m desperately trying to protect my heart here.’ she remembers telling him after he told her he was in love with her. so scared of getting her heart broken and it happened anyway. however, the blonde didn’t blame him so much as she blamed herself. how she could just let a boy ruin her so easily. newsflash: there were a million brown hair, hazel eyed boys out there. peyton blake valdonna was just another boy. no he wasn't.
it was the oldest story in the book: the ice princess’ true love melts her icy heart, only for it to freeze up again when he leaves. claire couldn’t let other people dictate her happiness. dorota’s only piece of advice was: love is like a head wound. it makes you dizzy and you think you die, but you recover. usually. yeah, claire was... okay.
"just don't sleep with him, okay?" mocha hues suddenly widened at the statement that fell from her best friend's mouth. "what? why the hell would i do that? " "oh, come on. you'll find something to argue about like always, you'll get in each other's faces, then that repressed sexual tension will just bubble up and explode . i'm just saying think with your brain and not your...” “oh my god... okay. i’m going to see mom, bye!” hurrying out of their home, the blonde couldn’t get out of there fast enough. of course she wasn’t going to sleep with him. god, she did have some self respect. and morals, she had those too.
cece scott was a private person. claire had always known her mother had secrets. she just didn’t know how dangerous or hurtful they could be. six months ago, the woman told her only child she was dying. the cancer diagnosis came long before that and it was hidden... just like everything else in the walls of their home. they fought at the dinner table, cece just wanted her to understand why. i was trying to protect you, i didn’t want you to worry if i was able to recover. maybe the words selfish bitch left her lips, she couldn’t really recall. okay, fine they totally did. but the girl was just hurt. actually, the word hurt didn’t even began to describe how she felt. her dad was cold in the ground, her mom would join him soon enough. it wasn’t fucking fair. she felt robbed. robbed of... everything. the last scott left. sad, little rich girl that lost her parents. she didn’t know how her heart could recover from this. if it could ever recover.
why don’t they prepare for that? when the perfect life you thought you had goes black? when no one comes to save you, you'll learn to save yourself. the world, it just keeps going on while you're going through hell.
giving the front desk peyton’s name, she shot him a quick text with the floor and room number. truthfully, it was rare not to see the blonde at the hospital. claire might as well be living there at this point. everyone stays to take it day by day, but they were taking it second by second. a soft knock snapped her out of her thoughts as she glanced towards the door that was always left cracked open a little, “yeah, come in.” claire didn’t know what to expect when she saw him again, but the giant room suddenly felt like it was getting smaller by the second. oh god, she wanted to puke. "oh, family reunion." the blonde remarked. daggers immediately coming from her mom. cece scott may have been on her death bed, but she was never too sick to give her daughter a dirty look. it was their love language. "alright, i'm leaving. don't bite my head off, cecilia." to say the claire hauled ass out of there was the understatement of the god damn century. that girl could not leave that room fast enough. wow what a trend today.
25 notes
·
View notes
Note
reader being best friends with carter while he's chasing serena but also being in love with him?
CARTER BAIZEN APPRECIATION SQUAD ASSEMBLE! (i promise i’ll get to non carter requests)
y/n and carter had known each other for a while
they had met during a summer at the hamptons when his parents invited her family over for dinner
she had helped him inside the house after returning from a particular night out which to his parents was a meeting with some of his friends to go over stuff for the new school year
from then onwards carter and y/n became friends
he would meet her in the back of her parents apartment and the two would drive around the nights of new york talking about their problems
it hadn’t taken long for y/n to fall in love with him
he was an attractive, smart man who seemed to have more goals other than the vapid boys she knew from st.judes
it wasn’t like she expected him to return her affections. she was his sister’s age, 3 years younger. she knew he wouldn’t be interested so she hid it deep inside her heart where no one would see it
after all she’d rather have a tiny bit of his heart than have to pretend he never existed
maybe she should’ve seen it coming that he would leave, but she didn’t and one afternoon as she knocked on his door to pick him up to go for their weekly lunch at his favourite spot was the moment she wished she could’ve avoided it
it was his mother who had opened the door, tight smile on her face, pity in her eyes as she stared at the girl in front of her “do you not know, sweetheart?” “am i supposed to know something?” “he left. says he doesn’t want anything to do with this family anymore”
her heart stopped for a while, the buzzing sound of her mind wondering why, why he wouldn’t tell her
it had been his sister caroline who had helped her through it, telling her he wasn’t even worth the hazzle, to instead focus on the much more attractive boys her age attending st.judes
y/n wasn’t interested but as time flew by she slowly learned to accept that he wasn’t returning
she had built a life for herself, becoming one of constance’s shining stars holding near perfect grades
she had also built a friendship with blair waldorf after serena had left her, both of them bonding over having someone leaving unexpectedly
“my mum was supposed to host a tea party for CeCe and she went to paris. usual” “do you need any help?” “wanna come? might make it less boring besides you still need a date for cotillion“ “well not everyone can have nate archibald for a date” “i am pretty lucky aren’t i? but you need a date, you cannot not have an escort. even serena is taking ... dan” “alright, i’ll go to the tea party” “perfect”
she should’ve not gone. she should’ve just accepted caroline’s invitation to go shop for a cotillion dress but she didn’t. she couldn’t see the future.
as she walked off the lift into the van der woodsen’s apartment, a familiar face showed, sat in a couch surrounded by girls
“y/n” blair rushed over to her side “i don’t want to frighten you but ... carter’s here” “i’ve seen.��� “i want you to know that i didn’t invite him. cece invited him, she wants him to be serena’s escort.” “that’s fine” “are you sure? i could kick him out” “that’s fine”
it wasn’t fine.
she spent the whole tea party as further from him as possible, not sure of what to say to him or how to even react
although she had to admit it broke her heart that he wasn’t interested in even talking to her, instead looking her way and immediately turning to receive the praise of several girls
“he’s not even that attractive” blair rolled her eyes at her minions which were fauning over him “urgh, imagine being attracted to a wannabe matthew mcconaughey” “you don’t have to make me feel better, blair” “look at that last season suit. disgusting”
she stayed until the end of the party, chatting up with several people who came to ask about her family business and by the end of the party she had even started to help the maids bring dirty dishes into the kitchen
“you were always an odd one, i have to give you that” a voice made her drop the porcelain onto the soapy water and turn her face towards its direction. carter. “y/n, i’m really sorry” “yeah i could tell since you didn’t call or write after you left” “i didn’t have any way to contact you” “you didn’t even tell me you were leaving carter. do you know how it felt walking up to your house and having your mother tell me you left?” “i had to go y/n” “so have i, carter.”
she didn’t want to speak with him, she didn’t want to fall back into the state
at least she had decided not to speak with him until nate punched him at cotillion
“you look like shit” “thanks, y/n.” “i gotta say, i wanted to do that myself. nate stole that away from me” “how long are you gonna be upset with me, y/n?” “as long as i want” “c’mon, let’s do something together” “i said i would act civilised with you not lobotomised” “c’mon, y/n. i’ll pay” “do you even have any money? didn’t your parents cut you off?” “i’ll find a way” “... fine. the bar of the lotte new york palace
blair and caroline had told her not to go but she thought that it would be better to get it over and done with. to call it water under the bridge and not have him haunt her what ifs anymore
she found him at the bar of the palace, black suit on. he never used to wear suits, she still remembers him in his messy st. judes uniform, undone tie all the time
“you came” “i said i would” “i know you have every single reason to hate me but i miss you, y/n. i really do. i have so much to tell you” “some people would use a journal” “i fucked up, i know but ... second chance? you can punch me too if you want” “that’s a really good offer, i think i’m gonna pounder it” “how about i pick you up tomorrow night? late driving around new york” “you got yourself a deal, baizen”
soon enough she found herself in the same situation, still in love with him
he was still the same man, still the same chuckle, talking passionately about his projects, making stupid jokes
but one thing still was the same, the same thing she didn’t want to accept, he still would never reciprocate her feelings
“y/n, i can’t pick you up tonight. i have a date with serena.” “serena van der woodsen?” “yeah, do you mind?” “uh ... no... sure, go on”
her blood boiled out of jealousy
she always thought the reason he would never reciprocate her feelings was because she was younger but serena, serena was the same age as her and it stung, it stung so badly
she ended up at the house of the same person who could understand being jealous of serena : blair waldorf’s
“oh, please, y/n. seriously? carter? he’s so ... boring. god” “well i’m sorry blair not everyone can have their first time in the backseat of a limo with chuck bass” “hey now that nate is single maybe you should go out with him” “i’m not gonna go out with nate” “why you two would make such a nice couple” “i’m not in love with nate” “i’m sorry, y/n.”
she pretended it was okay
she would smile whenever he talked about serena
she would be next to him when she undoubtedly got him inside her petty little games with chuck
she would be there when he quit her and she would be there when he took her back
she was there for everything until one morning where she was woken up by someone banging on her door
“nate?” “something happened and you might want to sit down” “what happened? are you okay?” “serena left with carter last afternoon” “what do you mean?” “they left y/n, together.”
suddenly she found herself in the same spot she had been years ago abandoned
he returned later that summer during the races but this time she didn’t forgive him
she spent the day with dan and blair, mindlessly listening to serena talking about how carter followed her but she knew better
she knew they’d be back together and surely again they were
carter should feel happy, serena was back but he didn’t feel better
he felt ... empty, like something was lacking
whenever he laid down next to her and feel asleep he dreamed of y/n
he dreamed of her vintage oversized tees reaching her knees as she read her favourite books in his study
he dreamed of her laughter whenever he took her to a driver in theatre, fingers holding popcorns to her lips
he dreamed of her red tinted lips during festivities, dancing under streetlights singing showtunes, bitting her lips whenever she had a test
he convinced himself it was just missing her but part of him knew it wasn’t that
he should be with serena, her family approved, his family approved
so he stuck it out, convincing himself this was a phase just a phase
as serena dumped him on the side of the street he looked at the streetlight, remembering y/n in an oversized cardigan jumping puddles over it, twirling around it playfully
“what am i doing?”
he rushed down the streets of the upper east side like a mad man
he’d never walked this long
but he kept on walking, he kept on walking until he saw her apartment
he knocked on the door for what felt like a hundred times
“i’m coming” he could hear her sleepy voice from the other side and sure enough, soon enough the sound of her steps became too loud and she opened the door “carter, what are y...” “let me just say something okay? then you can shut the door” “it’s 1 AM” “please” “20 seconds” “i’m sorry, y/n. i’m so sorry, i should’ve told you when i left years ago, i shouldn’t have left with serena. i should’ve stayed with you. you always listened to me, you always believed in me and i always let you down. i miss you, i miss having fights with you about star wars plots, speaking with you on the phone at 5 AM, trying to make you laugh when you were upset. i miss seeing your sleepy smile every single morning, i miss you” “carter” “all this time being with her i just kept thinking about doing those things with you. taking you to cotillion, dance with you, be at your graduation and help you move into college, take you to fancy bars and restaurants, buy you flowers and everything else money can afford and i missed out on it, i missed out on it and i cannot give them to you. but here’s what i propose ... i wanna be there when you graduate from college, i wanna be there to help you move into your very first apartment, i want to be there when you start your first job, i wanna be there for you.” “you’re not one to stick around, carter” “let me try, please let me try” “isn’t this your third chance?” “i will ask you for a million chances as long as i get to see you for the rest of my life”
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel so stupid but I am really crying since days over a damn ship. I am telling myself damn Giovanna (Yepp that’s my real name) get your shit together, you are 39, ass grown woman being abused for years, grew beyond that and became stronger than ever and still I am crying over a damn ship.
I have been a shipper before (Yepp guilty). I shipped the so called toxic relationships like chuck and Blair, I shipped incest like jonerys, I shipped complicated like Katniss and peta but none of them so intense like reylo. I invested so much time in this ship. I was reading metas for hours. I was listening to every podcast I could find. I am posting my shit on twitter and tumblr. I spent so much time with it my hubby felt betrayed lol. And now that they are canon I still am crying over their tragic end.
I love Star Wars with all my heart. It’s more than just a ship for me. I love the mythology, the romance, the friendships, the conflicts, the politics, and the lightsaber duels.
Even though I grew up with the originals which I adore it was the prequels who have found a special place in my heart. And the reason is this scene. The way he looked at her is amazing. Anidala wasn’t my first ship but it was the one who had a certain complexity the ships from the 80s or 90s barley had. It was complicated and I loved it.
And since then I Love complicated. I always look for the complicated. Obvious endgames still though.
And now I have reached another level. Reylo is the Ultimate couple for me. It’s complicated, it’s complex, it’s epic, enemies to lovers, will they won’t they, sexy as hell, it’s deep, it’s beyond anything explainable. They threw basically everything possible at us. It couldn’t have been more frustrating and yet more joyable for us. It’ll probably become one of the most epic lovestories since Romeo and Juliet, Tristan and Isolde, Elizabeth and Darcy..... and that is exactly the reason why it hurts so much. Rey and Ben individually have these beautiful, interesting and tragic arcs which makes their pairing even more than it is already. It’s a lot to unfold. It’s a lot to take as a fan. It’s exhausting. It’s time consuming. It’s frustrating. and that is why we deserved a Happy End. And that is also why I cry over a ship. It’s like you are climbing a mountain only to find out you will never make it to the top. It’s like you finally get the boy only to find out he doesn’t like you as much as you do. It’s like giving everything you can in your job only to get fired from it. It’s like hinting it only to find out we were a bait. we deserved better.
And now since I got it off my chest here is what I think happened in TROS. Ben is still out there. How? I don’t know but he is and Rey knows it. That is why she is not mourning. Anything else is not acceptable bc I don’t like the fact they screwed her character over. And I refuse to accept she ends up alone in a fucking dessert. They are married. He offered his hand (proposal) many times and she took it after all, while they were dressed in black and white like a groom and a bride. And that is why she cannot be with anyone else but herself and her new yellow/golden lightsaber. How could she ever live a normal life? She can’t. She lost her other half and as long as she does she puts herself into exile until he comes back to her. She is waiting for him. I still hate their ending I do but I have to start changing my perspective and enjoy the fact that we made it. That we are canon. That they are married forever. That they made each other smile.
#reylo is canon#reylo fandom#reylo#reylo shippers#ben and rey#ben and rey are married#rey is waiting for ben to come back
170 notes
·
View notes
Photo
ARCHIE for the role of SIRIUS BLACK, using the faceclaim BLAIR REDFORD.
Your application for Sirius is stunning, and incorporates lots of little details which flesh out the character wonderfully. You’ve portrayed the complexity of Sirius’ current situation so well, and there is some truly beautiful writing here. I am very excited to welcome you to Quartus Bellum!
ooc details
Name: Archie
Age: Twenty five
Pronouns: She/her
Activity Level: I’m a current PhD candidate, so my time is pretty strapped. I am also coming out of a writing hiatus, so I’m a little rusty, but this game was so alluring I just thought I’d be an idiot to pass up some world building and exploring. I can probably be online a few times a week, but I can promise lengthy replies in lieu of my absence. I hope that’s okay. I would definitely like to keep the mod team updated on things if I’m away for whatever reason, just so we’re on the same page and everything!
Other: No triggers! But thank you very much for asking. I’m just extremely motivated and intrigued by this plot, so I have to give major kudos to such an arresting idea. Please also note that I am applying from a mockblog I have created for the purpose of this application.
Acknowledgement: I acknowledge that the themes of this game may include triggering elements. I also acknowledge that my character may be harmed, coerced, or even killed (with player’s consent) during paras/events or may cause harm to or kill others during paras/events.
჻ ჻ ჻ ჻
general ic details
Name: Sirius Orion Black
Age: Twenty one (November 3rd, 1959)
Ships: Chemistry. Full disclosure, the biography given for Sirius gave me a lot of Sirius/James feelings (like, a lot), but I also really ship Sirius/Remus. I write Sirius as gay, but overall I’m pretty relaxed about writing relationships provided they’re realistically depicted and well-paced.
Gender/Pronouns: Genderfluid (he/him or they/them)
Face Claim: Blair Redford (x), Luke Pasqualino, Sean Teale *
* I’ve gone back and forth between these three for ages... Ordinarily I write the Black family as POC, so after a Great Struggle™ in which I seriously admired Luke Pasqualino in “Snatch”, I decided to do something different and go with Blair Redford. Now, I do have a possible headcanon around Sirius and Regulus being half-brothers, so that can give the Regulus player some freedom around choosing a faceclaim, as I know matching ethnicities can be tricky (especially as Blair is half unspecified Native American). I will say, however, that I am open to discussing Sirius’ faceclaim, so if you’re unsure I’m happy to talk about it with you.
჻ ჻ ჻ ჻
biography:
Sirius wasn’t supposed to live past twenty one.
It’s a morbid, private thought, one best left for murmuring into the black velvet of late nights, supine with firewhiskey and muggle cigarettes. See, Sirius never expected to make it to sixteen, but then a certain shaggy-haired idiot named James F. Potter happened, and Sirius’ fears went out the window (literally – have you ever tried to pry open the latch of a very old semi-sentient house that doesn’t want its heir to escape? Harder than it looks). When the war started, Sirius accepted the likelihood of his imminent death with little fanfare. It was easier, anyway, to throw himself into missions and the gutsy bravado that gripped 1979 like a fever. The city was alive: subtropical clubs; the tongues of strangers; heady muggle music; the Order laughing, packed into some tiny apartment, drunk off their tits. And even before that haze dissipated, they all felt immortal. The war was real, of course, but so were they, and Sirius was young, and dumb, and he was one of the best duelers by far, so why shouldn’t he take to the streets, Doc Martens smacking the pavement, dodging after some Death Eater? The Black household was one shrouded in death, what with the dusty portraits of forgotten ancestors, their eyes following you in the gloom, and his own mother’s obsession with mortality, as if the Pox that claimed their father was a mere token of magic’s cruel whim to give and take away. The Marauders filled him with hope; the Order stoked those embers to flames. But there was always something within him, some stoic knowledge, that this was too good too last. He was a Black: his blood ran thick as oil.
If anyone asks (which they don’t, because despite his newfound control, Sirius can still be frightening), losing James was more than a sucker punch to the gut. The Order had lost so many brave witches and wizards at the height of the war, but those terrible deaths were nothing compared to James’ disappearance. No, not disappearance. Kidnapping. Theft. They stole Prongs from Sirius’ useless fingers, swept him away for good, and Sirius was powerless. Maybe that was what hurt most of all: knowing that no matter how deeply he felt for James, how fortifying and achingly tender their friendship was, it just wasn’t enough. Sirius thought he was incapable of love before he met James. But where did that get him? The yawning dark of an empty flat; shaking hands in the cold dawn light; the blood-pound of fear in his jugular, drumming hard enough to make his eyes spot black. Sirius didn’t give himself a chance to mourn, to wonder, to do anything other than drown himself in the rescue effort. The loss of Dumbledore was similarly shattering, but Dumbledore was more figurehead than individual: a manifestation of everything the Order wanted to be. James was real: he was blood and bone. He was laughter and the glossy gold of a snitch, he was private jokes and intense bravery. He was Sirius’ counterbalance. And then he was gone.
Sirius isn’t the same. None of them are. Everything they’d fought for was extinguished in twenty four hours. That might partly explain Sirius’ habitual visits to the muggle world. Disguised as Padfoot is as good as being invisible. He can slip through their ordered, ordinary world, and feel, at least for a few hours, that his pathetic excuse for an existence hasn’t been obliterated close beyond repair. Sirius tells himself they’ll claw it all back. Dumbledore, James, the Ministry. There is a terrible anger within him that is beyond anything he has ever felt. It is cavernous, infinite, far darker and bruised than any reservoir of loathing for his family. It is so intense that he cannot even speak about it. Sirius has always been a little frightened of how deeply he feels, but this redraws those boundaries. That feeling that his life is on a countdown has compounded. Sirius is willing to do anything to take back what is rightfully theirs. He spent his youth at war. It makes sense he’ll die at war too. He’s ready to throw open his arms and embrace the abyss, laughing in delirium, Is that all you’ve got? Well come on then!
჻ ჻ ჻ ჻
my character is:
HOW IS YOUR CHARACTER LYING TO THEMSELVES (AND HOW IS THIS SHOWN EXTERNALLY)?
Everything is fine. Everything is, of course, not fine, and is in fact irreparably fucked. But the alternative to Sirius’ externally calm demeanour is Sirius totally losing his bottle, and no one can have that, mainly because it would be the least useful thing he could do for the cause. Sirius is used to being someone people admire – there was no shortage of that in school, and even in the early period of the war: someone catching his eye hopefully, waiting for his go ahead; the mere recollection warms him with a rare, near-forgotten sense of purpose – but it’s quite another to have the final say in something. Sirius doubts himself so much. He’s not exactly a rational thinker. His vengeance is cold and cruel, that is certain, but even that type of behaviour is inherently emotional. Sirius revels in disorder: he enjoys feeling unmoored, likes not knowing. He’s not like Moony or Peter, who needed some semblance of routine to feel comfortable. Sirius quite likes feeling out of his depth; discomfort demands action. But he’s not good at communicating that, and he struggles with giving solace to someone who very badly needs to know that things are under control. Sirius hasn’t quite stooped to going, “There, there,” and patting someone awkwardly on the shoulder, but it’s close to it. He’s the first to loudly suggest a drink at some muggle pub after a disastrous mission, and he’s the last to leave, still nursing his beer long after everyone else has straggled home. Sirius isn’t eloquent like James; he isn’t calm like Moony. Hell, he doesn’t even have Wormtail’s pragmatism (before he betrayed them all, the absolute fucking bastard). Sirius is waiting for someone to catch him out. He’s not built to be a leader. The only thing he’s good for is a shag and a fun time. Right? He’s not… he’s not what they think he is. He’s useless. He’s a joke. It’s a joke. But it’s a fine joke. Ergo: everything is fine. It has to be. Otherwise he’ll drag everyone else into the flames with him, and if there’s anything Sirius is truly frightened of, it’s someone else recognizing just how deep the streak of darkness within him runs.
YOUR CHARACTER’S JOB (WHAT DO THEY DO AND HOW DO THEY FEEL ABOUT IT?)
Sirius is dedicated to the Ashen Phoenix. Even when the Order of the Phoenix still existed, when it was little more than a ragged group of idealistic Hogwarts graduates and wayward aurors, when Dumbledore’s vague effluence alternately inspired or infuriated them, back when the war seemed – well, not winnable, but certainly surmountable – even then, Sirius was too much. Too brash, too rough, too much of a muchness that made people like old Mad Eye growl under his breath about upstart sprogs. There was something to be admired in Sirius’ explosive determination, even as his reckless behaviour and breathless duels with Death Eaters was more exasperating than useful. “What?” he’d retort defensively, to a room of tired Order members. “They were asking for it.”
Sirius had always been too much. When everything – when James – when it all went to utter shite, it’s probably no wonder that Sirius lost whatever loose grip on sanity he’d ever had, and tossed it all in to band up with Mary and Lily. Lily, whom he could barely stand on a good day, who suddenly became one of the most important people standing stalwart against the uncertain scaffolding containing his so-called life. Was it really that surprising? Sirius has always privately regarded his grip on reality to be tenuous at best. Combine that with a deep, unwavering streak of hatred for blood purists, and you’ve got a terrible combination. Successful, sure; but dangerous. He can’t afford to be the rambunctious “upstart” that once semi-terrorized the Order of the Phoenix, nor can he sit about on his laurels, skulking in espionage or plotting elaborate shadowy schemes. Sirius’ patience runs thin at the best of times. No, instead he’s squashed himself into a rather uncomfortable box between “probably could be classified as a war crime” and “slightly morally questionable but still alright enough to make Evans begrudgingly admit that was a good idea”. It’s not a comfortable fit, and Sirius still isn’t sure how he ended up growing up so bloody fast, but he’ll do anything to turn back the tide of the darkness that now laps menacingly against their throats.
Aside from that, he spends quite a lot of time inadvertently posing as a muggle homeless person. Or a big shaggy dog. In comparison to being a magical fugitive, it’s almost like going on holiday.
ADDRESS THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN WHAT YOUR CHARACTER IS CURRENTLY DOING AND WHAT THEY WOULD PREFER TO DO.
Sirius does not like responsibility. It smacks of adulthood, and Sirius never thought he’d live to see that, let alone become a ruddy pillar of virtue. It’s not that he intensely dislikes fussing over details for the Phoenixes, but it does not come naturally to him – he’s no James, put it that way (James, who was forever buzzing around them all in a manner simultaneously carefree and watchful, who’d jokingly suggest you get a jumper otherwise you’d get a cold, you bellend, so just go grab one, oh, and would you get him a chocolate frog on the way, thanks). Sirius actually doesn’t like people looking up to him. What does he know? He’s just some irresponsible dog who’d much, much rather zip away on his motorbike to blast You-Know-Who’s bits off, and sod the consequences. If he didn’t have Mary and Lily keeping him in check, Merlin knew where he’d be. Probably sharing a cell with Dumbledore. Knitting scarves and gossiping. Some lark like that. Instead he’s relegated to asking mundane questions like, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” and, “Wait, try this healing charm.” Sirius listens to his own blather and wants to be sick. He feels the words can no one see I don’t know what I’m doing! burning every inch of him, pounding against the underside of his skin, flaring across his pained expression. “I want James back,” he said (thoughtlessly) to Lily once; and she’d shot him a look and said, “We all do.” You don’t get it, Sirius thought. I want him back because I need him. I can’t do this on my own. I need him.
Sirius does not want to turn back the clock. Despite his irreverent mindset, Sirius isn’t a fantasist. He’s emotionally charged and often irrational, but he doesn’t indulge in make-believe. There is no way things are going back to normal. There’s not even a fragment of what they left behind: those few months after school ended and before the war began, when London was besieged by an oppressive summer humidity, and the Marauders tumbled in and out of parties, drinking and laughing, carefree and stupid; the sanctity of Hogwarts, and how innocent they’d been; even old Regulus, with his pinched, shrewd expression, but the way his eyes would loosen and warm whenever Sirius ruffled his hair and affectionately called him a tosspot. Sirius cherishes these slivers of the past, counting them out like his last coins, weighing their treasure in the palm of his hand. The memories he makes now are bleak. Undernourished effigies of a world devolved. Sirius might feel beset with fear about the future, but he is still… adaptable. He was at sixteen, when he left home on a wing and a prayer, and he is now, at twenty one. No more clever, and a great deal more out of control, but able to adapt, change, mold, mend. Sirius recognizes the strange surrounding landscape and has vowed, if silently, to learn its routes, to memorize its violent topography. Survival. That was what his parents had always taught him, right? That pure blood dominates. The Marauders taught him that too, albeit in compassionate terms of friendship and trust, things Sirius had to re-learn at eleven and still is, in a way. The Order drilled him in guerrilla warfare. Dumbledore’s capture stripped him of complacency. And James… Well, survival demands vigilance. Survival turned him into something else: someone sharper, more serious, blackened around the edges. Sirius doesn’t want to turn back the clock because that would mean leaving this new version of himself behind. And like it or not, this is the only version of Sirius sodding Black that could ever make it out the other end. So, tits up to you, Voldy. This bitch ain’t going nowhere.
OOC QUESTIONS
WRITING SAMPLE:
[ REDACTED ]
EXPLORATION:
A LONG-AWAITED REUNION — One of the major subplots for this group is, of course, the return or recapture of James. From Sirius’ perspective, I think James returning to his life would signal a number of critical things – it might even be a turning point in his characterization. I see Sirius at the moment as barely hanging on. Stress exacerbates his pre-existing feelings of insufficiency and vulnerability, so he is at a stage as a member of Ashen Phoenix where he’s strung out and exhausted, burning the midnight oil, hollow-eyed and discomfortingly stoic. The loss of James was an enormously heavy blow, and that’s no overstatement. If James was somehow returned, I think that would fill Sirius’ sails with the winds of renewal and hope. He and James were a double act; they were shadows of each other. Without him, Sirius feels like a fraud.
PLAYING NICE — Sirius has never been good at pretending. His emotions run close to the surface, flashing in his quicksilver eyes at the slightest provocation. It never used to take much for him to plunge from a euphoric high to a turbulent anger, his moodiness as tempestuous as a tide. But that’s not how you lead people. You can’t expect people to see past your thunderstorm behaviour to the reality of the situation: that Sirius has always felt a split second away from free-fall. Most people aren’t like James, or Moony, or even bloody Wormtail – they can’t see that it’s all an act; that Sirius’ vulnerabilities run swift and deep, and his bravado is just a reliable way to deflect unwanted probing. Since Mouldy Voldy started swinging his shriveled old cock around, Sirius has had an abrupt about-face. It’s never easy, and he often forgets that he’s supposed to be playing nice. In fact, one could make the argument that he hasn’t changed much at all: he’s still a moody bastard. But sometimes he takes a deep breath instead of bursting in rage; sometimes he clenches his fists instead of flying for his wand. I would like to explore Sirius working hard to keep a lid on his temper, particularly given the success of Ashen Phoenix relies, at least in part, on him keeping it together for a little while longer.
THE IMMORTALITY OF REGULUS ARCTURUS BLACK — Reuniting Sirius and Regulus is a massively important subplot for me, and I think it could have powerful consequences in this group. I’m not sure how Sirius will take Regulus’ vampirism – it’ll certainly be interesting to find out. In another context I could see him falling about in horrified laughter, because now Regulus will get to hang around with Walburga forever. But I wonder now if their prolonged absence from each other will stir within Sirius a long-buried sense of responsibility. He’ll probably start worrying about Regulus, terrified that the new Dark Ministry will hunt his brother down and exterminate him. He might even (gasp!) become horribly over-protective, hating himself all the while for needling Regulus about “feeding” and all that dosh (”Shut up!” Sirius snaps as Regulus raises a single eyebrow. “It’s not like there’s a manual about becoming a bleeding vampire, is there?” A pause. “No pun intended.”) No doubt there’s a degree of irony in an ex-Death Eater suddenly becoming the prey of his old buddies, but Sirius isn’t a masochist. As stupid as Regulus has behaved, they’re still brothers. Even before the war turned for the worst, Sirius still missed him. Yearned for him to be back. Regulus was the biggest idiot in Britain, but he was Sirius’ idiot, and if Sirius had heard more than a whisper about his brother he would have probably done something very stupid to rush to his side. Call Sirius a lot of things, but being disloyal could never be one of them.
EXTRAS:
I have created a mockblog for this group, which is the account I am submitting from. You can find it here. I have also written some general headcanons, which you can find below!
Sirius started getting muggle tattoos during the war. The first war, that is, back when they all thought it’d be over by Christmas. He’s got about seventeen, possibly a few more, all in black ink, most of them done in poky muggle tattoo parlours buried in the heart of London, but a couple of them are magical: the dragon across his left shoulder blade, for example, which sneezes fire when you tickle it just right. It’s an eclectic collection that illustrate Sirius’ natural whimsy: a series of ancient runes that Moony told him meant something cool (although Sirius has since suspected Moony was an absolute tosser, and the runes in fact spell “totally gullible gobshite”); an elaborate diagram of the planets in the middle of his back; a broom that zips around his arm (James’ fault, that one); an anatomically dubious pin-up girl (Sirius wanted a guy, but the tattoo artist looked frightening, and Sirius wasn’t in the mood to go toe-to-toe about his sexual preferences); and, for reasons best left alone, ancient constellations scattered most of his chest. There are some other tattoos squashed in here and there – a Gryffindor lion, a protection symbol that Moony literally laughed aloud at when Sirius showed it off – that are mainly impulse decisions. Sirius loves them all. The ink is so black against his brown skin, the magical designs flickering in the corner of his eye, and it all gives the illusion of him appearing alive, ever in motion, an intricate living illustration.
Sirius still owns his motorbike, although it’s too dangerous to ride it. Some arsehole (Bellatrix, probably) ratted him out, and now everyone and their mother is on the hunt for a sleek black motorbike. He isn’t stupid enough to ride it, no matter how burning the urge, although sometimes he does go out to Clapham, where he’d parked it in a muggle garage, just to linger over it for a few stolen moments. One day he’ll blaze it right over London, preferably in celebration of Balding Voldy’s bloody demise. One day. He will.
Sirius is gay. The revelation came unobtrusively. He’d always known there was… something awry. You’d have to be blind, deaf, and dumb not to be surrounded by all of those posh pureblood birds growing up and feel nothing more than resignation at their proximity (their brothers were far more intriguing). Sirius played along for a bit at school, going out with a few girls, making out with McKinnon at more than a few parties. It was all serviceable, except for the fact it was tremendously boring, and if there was anything Sirius resented, it was feeling confined. He came out (very loudly) in his sixth year (in the middle of the Great Hall; it was quite the gossip for a week or so), and has since been perfectly content with advertising his sexuality at the nearest opportunity. He’s no blushing violet, put it that way. While Wizarding society is more or less accepting of sexuality (his parents notwithstanding: Sirius was still expected to marry and produce an heir; and that thought, of dragging some brat into the world through duty alone, turned his stomach), the fragmentation in muggle society is something else. Sirius is still too enthusiastic about muggle life to ever really fit in – he’s been asked innumerable times if he’s a tourist, which absolutely delights him – but the gay and lesbian rights movements in recent years has captured his attention. He’s kept up with the news about protests, and once apparated into an alley adjacent to a march for queer liberation. We’re here, the muggles chanted, we’re queer! We won’t disappear! The feeling was incredible. Wixen didn’t have anything like this – it was all just taken for granted. But the fight of the muggles. Their determination; their spirit. Their strength in demanding what was theirs. It left him breathless, and for the first time in his life, proud.
Sirius spends a lot of time as Padfoot these days. It’s just easier. He’s a dab hand at disguise charms – had to be, when the war started to turn truly dark and a Black blood traitor head on a spit was a coveted prize – but outside of a handful of people, Sirius’ animagus form is a secret. Lily knows, of course, as does Macdonald, but they have to. Slinking around London as a dog makes for surreptitious travel, even if he’s taken on some bad habits as a human. Fleas genuinely are the worst, alright? He can’t help scratching himself fiercely at the slightest itch.
The way Sirius dresses now is a diluted version of the summer of 1979. Back then, London was a heaving cesspool of cramped, humid clubs, gigs outfitted in leather and gelled spikes, tight chokers, and a casual, careless androgyny that made Sirius’ heart beat fast. Back then he didn’t give a toss. Now, of course, he’s no longer a naive graduate, and the world has grown dim. He usually wears a leather jacket over some band t-shirt, a pair of black ripped jeans, Doc Martens. That’s toned down, for him. While a lot of the jewellery has gone, Sirius’ fingers are still bejewelled with rows of heavy silver rings, and a dragon tooth earring swings from his left ear. His eyes, once glittering with flirtatious humour, are ringed dark with wariness; and his cutting bone structure has sharpened with one too many missed meals. Sirius is probably physically bulkier than he was at school, simply because sleeping rough and hauling arse after a dozen Death Eaters tends to fill you out, but his body is still lean, with an echo of that languid grace that whispered of pureblood ballrooms and charity galas. Sirius’ hair has grown long, and he usually ties it sloppily away from his face, but he stays clean shaven… most of the time. Lily once said he looked like a Lennon on a bad trip after Sirius reappeared after a rendezvous in Dublin for four weeks. He’s still trying to figure out if that was an insult.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
My Top TV Couples
Not that anyone cares, but since I'm in quarantine and have been the past 2 months thought I'd make a post about my favorite TV couples of all time. I've been watching a bunch of TV shows and riding this big nostalgia rollercoaster so I need to let out my emotions lol
1. Dan and Blair - Gossip Girl
Okay, I know this one is problematic af, but idgaf they were the least toxic couple on this mess of a show and I love them. Blair was herself with Dan and vice versa (I refuse to acknowledge Dan as GG. That was just lazy writing). Also Penn and Leighton had amazing chemistry (Ed who?)
2. Cappie and Casey - Greek
Quite possibly ABC Family's best show ever, Greek, produced one of the most pure and heartwarming couples. I recently rewatched this show (stream it on Hulu) and I was just hit with so much emotion. Cappie is perfection and his relationship with Casey will always hold a special place in my heart along with this show.
3. Matty and Jenna - Awkward
MTV's show Awkward was my entire life throughout high school so I had to include my OTP Jatty. Although a bit problematic, they were fucking iconic and I'd like to think they found eachother once again and are happily together with a bunch of babies running around. Also Matty McKibben can ruin me.
4. Lois and Clark - Smallville
Smallville is one of my comfort shows. Lana and Clark were cute, but Lois and Clark just hits different. As soon as she was introduced on the show, it was a wrap for Lana. Also Tom Welling and Erica Durance are the best Clark Kent and Lois Lane to ever exist.
5. Jackson and April - Greys Anatomy
They deserved endgame and I'm still disgusted with the way April's story ended. Just like most couples, they went through ups and downs. But honestly to me, they were literal perfection and deserved better.
6. Liam and Annie - 90210
I shipped them so hard in middle/high school and honestly whenever I rewatch this series it takes me back to that time in my life which makes me so happy. This couple belonged together. From day one I knew they were going to be endgame and even though the finale was quite possibly the most rushed mess ever, they're endgame and that's all that matters. Also Matt Lanter is fucking gorgeous.
7. Nathan and Haley - One Tree Hill
Doesn't need an explanation, absolute fucking perfection. Literally no flaws are found here. That is all.
8. Sean and Emma - Degrassi: The Next Generation
Deserved to be endgame!!! Fuck the writers for messing this up and having her marry Spinner. Its been a decade and I'm still disgusted over that nonsense. Anyways, Emma and Sean were soulmates.
9. Jesse and Becky - Full House
One of my first ever OTPs (before I even knew what that was). They make my heart happy and their marriage was goals.
10. Luke and Lorelai - Gilmore Girls
They were the superior couple on Gilmore Girls (sorry not sorry). We all need a Luke Danes in our lives.
#tv shows#im bored#gossip girl#smallville#greek#mtv awkward#greys anatomy#90210#degrassi#one tree hill#gilmore girls#full house#cappie x casey#dair#japril#jatty#semma#naley#clois#lannie
57 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
lightscamerafashicn-archived
Kurt Elizabeth
eazyface
EazyFace
arachgerm
ArachnaGerm
saltstone
Untitled
cmgross
Cheryl Gross