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#also! a little extra sneak peak for those of you who read my tags
crabsnpersimmons · 3 months
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a little wip for a little thing i'm working on!
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btsandvmin · 3 years
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BTSandVMIN update: On “Spring Day analysis”, making videos and creating a Patreon
There are a few things I would like to talk to you all about, and things I have been thinking about for a while. I thought it was time to give you all a bit of an update on the things I am doing, want to do and how I might have to do them.
Ok, so first of all, as you know I have been working on the Spring Day analysis for quite some time now. In fact I have been working on it for so long it has long since stopped being just about Spring Day. Rather than being about Spring Day and Vmin it has become a collection post where I go through many similarities in Vmin’s (in particular Taehyung’s) songs and discuss themes and topics with Spring Day simply as the main foundation of inspiration.
The text kept getting longer and currently it is around 24 000 words long + images (130+ pages in google docs). I honestly don’t think Tumblr will be able to handle it. I have been thinking about what to do with longer posts for a while, especially after the Vmin analysis - 4 o’clock which didn’t show up in the tag, loaded very slowly, took a long time to re-make in tumblr format and also didn’t get that many notes. You all know I have struggled and complained about longer posts here on tumblr many times. Thus I have wondered what to do if I want to keep making them in a way that works. In particular even longer pieces like this “Spring Day analysis” or my even longer “Big Vmin analysis”, which might be very difficult to make here on tumblr in a way that you can all read properly. (Several of you have even told me about your app crashing when trying to read some of my posts and honestly Tumblr just isn’t made for very longs posts with many images.)
After looking into it a bit I decided to make a Patreon just to try, and I could literally copypaste the whole post with images and all in just a few seconds. (WHY IS IT SO HARD TUMBLR?)
Another reason I finally decided to make a Patreon is so that I could create a small community space for me and you; a discord. Through Patreon you get access and I can talk to you guys more freely, and you can also simply use the discord as your own place to enjoy and discuss BTS and Vmin with other Vminies that join my Patreon. I thought this seemed like a fun idea since I can’t properly talk to you all in more conversational ways here (even less so since this is a side-blog), and by having it through Patreon it also limits the discussions from possible toxic outsiders. Basically a safe space away from the haters and antis.
There were also the reactions I got after making my first Vmin video. I talked about that a lot, in many posts:
A personal dilemma What kind of power to influence shippers into becoming delusional do I really have? I don’t know what to do… Making videos…
The concerns I got about me making Vmin videos made me question what to do, and if I should stop making analysis all together if people really worried about what it might lead to. I want to do more good than bad, for the community and for BTS. I am hoping having this space and the discord might make it feel easier for me to keep doing this more comfortably.
I also got some really really sweet messages from so many of you that honestly warmed my heart so much. I mean, there is little I can say to truly let you know what those messages mean to me. Just as one example:
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Thank you, to every single one of you for not only sending me love but also understanding and respecting my worries. It means more to me than you will ever know.  💜
The thing is that I don’t want to stop. I still very much enjoy writing and gushing about Vmin, and I also really kind of want to try making videos. So back when this all happened a few of you suggested Patreon, as a way to limit who sees my videos. And after thinking about it I decided to make one, for several reasons.
It might help me to have longer analysis. It keeps away unwanted attention and hate. I can moderate more and have better control. We can talk with each other more freely. I can post things I feel a bit unsure about sharing to the general audience. I could do videos without worrying too much. (And it might also help me with an extra income?)
Don’t get me wrong, I won’t stop posting things here for free, but I think I will post longer posts and perhaps more “analysing” types of videos if I ever get to that point on Patreon. Likely I will post shorter versions that Tumblr can handle, or divide posts into parts here, but keep longer versions intact on Patreon. So the idea is not to stop doing things here but rather to add some other things and extra stuff on Patreon (basically some bonus material, maybe some behind the scenes, sneak peaks and polls).
Right now my Patreon only has one tier “I purple you”, but if things go well the plan is to create a second tier if I ever decide to make videos more frequently and perhaps add some bonus material like Q&A videos where you can ask questions and I talk about them. (I am not sure yet, I don’t even know if videos is something that people will like.) 
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I’ve set the price at 15 SEK, which is a bit less than 2 US dollars/month. I don’t know what I might do further ahead, but for now basically it will mostly be some bonus stuff, a way to read longer texts in full (because I will have to divide it into parts here on Tumblr) and a community platform (and of course also a way to support me).
I hope you will check it out and join me! I am especially excited about the discord and getting to talk to you all in a new more casual way!
https://www.patreon.com/btsandvmin
Right now I have the Spring Day analysis posted (I will post it here too, but I need to figure out how to divide it in parts in a good way.) and I also have 2 chapters of my Vmin fanfiction “The last color is our spring”. (Seriously, I suck at naming fics, it’s honestly one of the hardest parts.) Again, I do plan to post some updates, and basically “first edits” of posts or things I feel a bit unsure about talking about here (like more analytical videos), but for now mostly it’s a way to support me and join the discord so we can share our love for Vmin together. 💜
Also, even if you don’t join I will still appriciate you all and the love you give me here. Seriously, this is mostly meant for you, and only if you want it and like it will there be any point to have it. I feel it is worth giving it a try. 
Become a Patron!
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5 Otome/Romance Game Men I Adore
Thank you so much @pseudofaux for tagging me! Also, thank you for saying that your own list was not in order or an exhaustive list because I often feel pressured to make a perfect list in these types of situations lol but if pseu was chill I can also be chill (EDIT: no there’s actually a lot of screaming below and absolutely no chill, I’m sorry, I lied.) 
I always talk too much and break too many rules when I do these things but that's just how I am lmfao so I'm gonna start off by saying IkeSen's Nobunaga Oda is my absolute favorite otome game man of all time... but I'm not going to officially include him on this list because I talk about him too much as it is already and I feel like enough people love him anyway. However, if anyone is interested in hearing me talk about Nobunaga ad nauseam, I will gladly entertain you. 
On to my list ~
1. Caramia, OZMAFIA!! - Ozmafia!! is my favorite otome game (MC be damned) and I love this man sooooooo much. His wedding CG has actually been the background on my phone for ages now. You know the "that's where the trouble began, that damned smile" meme? THAT'S FUCKING FOR HIM THAT'S HIM!!!!!!!!! That smile ruined my entire life in the best possible way and I have not known peace since. I guess I have a bit of A Thing for loveable, charismatic leaders. I just love a man who is full of power but big of heart ... and a little bit of a dumbass. Caramia is just like the total package...  He protecc, but he also attacc, and he also a snacc. Oh, and he can cook!!!
2. Fenrir Godspeed, Ikemen Revolution - Fenrir is really, really special to me and I put him in his own category entirely. In reality, Fenrir and Ray are actually tied as my IkeRev biases (and honestly I prefer them together; Alice is optional). Fenrir is actually so close to my heart that I refuse to even look at almost all fanfiction with him in it, with few exceptions. The fear that someone could "ruin" him by writing him in a way that even slightly disagrees with the way I picture him in my head (and I have seen it) is really too much for me to handle. Is this unhealthy of me? Probably, but I tend to avoid the situation all together so it doesn't matter. Not only do I self-insert in my games but I'm also not one of those people who separate fiction from real-life really well, so all of my biases are people I'd actually fall for IRL. And Fenrir is really special to me because he is actually the most perfect, ideal boyfriend in my mind but he is someone I absolutely do not deserve IRL and would probably run from for fear of ruining things. :'] So while any otome game man is a fantasy, he's like... top tier fantasy for me. He's just so perfectly easy-going, such a Prince Charming, Knight in Shining Armor, easy to read, so ready to love you, SO MUCH FUN... he's a Good Boi without being naive and innocent... he's like a wild-yet-safe adventure ugh he's like   p e r f e c t    I cry
3. Raymond, Blood in Roses - I don't necessarily think Blood in Roses is a great game; it definitely has its hits and its misses BUT it did grant me this one amazing man and therefore I will never uninstall it. I mentioned that I like lovable leaders but I also thoroughly enjoy being able to break down a brick wall of a man. Raymond starts off by being pretty cold to MC, caring really only for his duty (I love a loyal man), but takes MC under his wing anyway... and slowly realizes he has feelings for her and then of course becomes someone who is willing to die for her. This is peak romance, don't @ me.
4. Zen, Mystic Messenger - Zen is actually not my favorite to romance (that honor belongs to Jumin) but he is my #2. More importantly than the romance though, he is such a fucking good guy in every single route... ignoring all of Chertiz's little homophobic undertones of course (man do I wish Chertiz would rewrite Mystic Messenger so it's not so conservative, pleaseeee). He is willing to stand up for and protect MC in every route, not just his own. In all routes, he offers himself to MC as a shoulder to lean on, someone to cry to. He is always helpful to everyone!! Even though he and Jumin don't see eye to eye on most things, Zen is still ultimately supportive of him and wants what's best for him. ZEN IS A TRUE BRO. He's also super chill like he's all about his acting and performing... but he just also wants to drink beer, eat street food, and smoke cigarettes all day. I know people get turned off by his narcissism but fucking look at him okay he has every (!!!) right to be narcissistic. Plus, he doesn't let his ego get in the way of love and friendship and that's very important !!! In this essay, I will -
5. Leonardo DaVinci, Ikemen Vampire - I just want to type his name and send like 150000 weary emojis after it and be done with it. Honestly, it is at the point where I think he is on Nobunaga level for me. I have fallen very, very hard for him. I have two IkeVamp accounts and between the two of them I think I have done his full route about six or seven times. Every time I get to the scene where Comte suggests that Leonardo breaks it off with MC, I want to scream at the top of my lungs "BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM" like Ariel does in The Little Mermaid (Leonardo has his own moment where he internally shouts "I LOVE HER!!!!" so we're even tbh). First of all, HE IS SO FUCKING KNOWLEDGEABLE HE KNOWS SO MUCH AND HE KEEPS LEARNING THAT SHIT IS HOT. Also, I have seen people disagree with me on this but I personally don't think he's patronizing to MC. His MC, unfortunately, is written in that way where "ugh he's so mature and I is babey" so, of course, there are moments where he plays off of that but he literally has SO MUCH KNOWLEDGE and he never is like "wow I can't believe you don't know that you idiot" to MC even though the opportunity to do that is plentiful. He will tease her, sure, but that's totally different than being mean about it. The best thing about him being so intelligent is the fact he's also a fucking dumbass (I love me a dumbass, as you all know). He loves MC so, so much even though he doesn't show that in the smartest of ways all the time... but... he fucking walked into a dress shop and designed a whole ass custom dress for her?? He even picked out the fabric??? And then he pretended like it was Comte who chose it??? HELLOOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE HIM I'M ACTUALLY SCREAMING RIGHT NOW THAT'S WHY I HAVE TO TYPE IN CAPS I LOVE HIS MIND I LOVE HIM 
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I'm gonna sneak in an extra number because I absolutely must.
6. Trash, Aloners - If you have never played Aloners, you really should because it is seriously an amazing visual novel (thank you @dear-mrs-otome  for casually mentioning this game like one time in a discord server otherwise I’m not sure that I would have found out about it). You can get it for free (or pay $5 for the redeux version), so there’s really no excuse unless you don’t have a computer. The love between MC and Trash is not the main plot of the story necessarily, but Trash is such a good man and he deserves the lovin'. Trash is like the perfect combination of sweet and snarky, respectful yet teasing, competent but dumb, has a good heart but doesn't always make the best decisions... in conclusion, what choice did I have but to fall helplessly in love??? 
This has been fun, I absolutely love screaming about 2D bois... I hope y’all don’t mind tags (also I haven’t really been around a lot so if you’ve been tagged already I’m sorry ;w;)  @luciens-one-and-only-sea-otter @lovingikesen @toonamifaithful @emeraldtawny @littlelady-blackwell @alloveroliver
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creativestalkerrs · 5 years
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The Female Spider-Man; Part Seven (Peter Parker x Reader)
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Summary; the second fight came around and after the talk between Peter and Y/N, they see a better future, so they really push throw to get answers. As well as they get a lot closer with each other...
Warning; some FFH spoilers, swearing, fluff, some sus stuff 
Word Count; 2.9k
A/N; I’M SERIOUSLY SO SORRY FOR NOT PUTTING THIS OUT SOON! I just needed a few days (or at least a day) to write this chapter and to make it really good (I HOPE YOU GUYS AGREE) I’ll most likely take a few days to write and post new chapters for FSM, but I’ll also be working on other things too ;)
--
It was the next day. Y/N didn’t say anything to George about their conversation, only talking about the fight and what was going to come next. The story was all over the news and reasonably people were in fear. Peter was still figuring out how he feels towards Y/N. They both believed that they couldn’t be together because of their two different lives, but Peter had hope that he could be with her.  
Happy took out everyone for breakfast so they can talk of their findings. They went downstairs and sat down. The table was round so Y/N was sat between Peter and George, George sitting next to Shawn and Shawn sitting next to Happy. George was writing something in his notebook, Y/N trying to look at it. 
“George… what have you been writing?” Y/N asked as everyone was talking among themselves.
“This morning… I found something unusual… I was looking at the grid where Yeva would be hiding in Chinatown and notices something off… then I saw this,” George grabbed his phone and opened Instagram to pull up Henry’s page. It was posted less than 6 hours ago and the location tagged was Chinatown.  “But look,” George said as he zoomed in the photo, seeing a blonde woman in the background with a black box. Y/N raised her eyebrows. “That is Yeva and that box is used for mind control. Henry’s pupils are dilated and his eye color is much darker… Yeva is using your boyfriend- I mean ex-boyfriend for god knows what,” George whispered. 
“What do we do?” Y/N asked.
“While you and Peter fight, I’ll locate Henry and see what his deal is and see if Henry could help us…” George said Y/N looked down at her plate and sighed. 
“Why are we helping him?” Y/N asked
“So no more people can be brainwashed and so another person won’t try and attack… I get it, you still love Henry and it hurts, but he could know something that Happy or Peter might not know. I’ll be doing all the talking, don’t worry,” George smiled as he wrote something else.
“For the record, you know that’s not the case,” Y/N laughed.
“Ah… Peter,” George whispered, trying to be quiet.  
--
The rest of the breakfast was nice and quiet. Everyone went back to their hotel rooms to get ready for the second fight. This time it would possibly be more dangerous than the last one. Y/N put her electric suit on, knowing that she needs the extra damage. 
George told Happy about the Henry situation and they figured out out the best place to sneak in the area to find him and to serve as a distraction for Yeva if she was in Chinatown. George geared up and made his way as Peter and Y/N swang to Chinatown. Due to Y/N suit, she couldn’t swing efficiently swing herself, so Peter grabbed her and swang them both to the location. Y/N seeing the city view from Peter’s perspective. She wishes she wasn’t heading to a fight with Peter but a romantic dinner instead.
As the dropped a block from Chinatown to scop out the area and to see if any suspicious activity is around, Peter grabbed Y/N’s hand. “What are you doing?” Y/N asked with a chuckle in her voice, not wanting to let go.
“I need you close to me, I don’t want anything bad to happen before we get there,” Peter said, clearly lying throw his teeth.
“You’re great at lying,” Y/N laughed.
“No, I’m telling the truth!” He said. Y/N squeezed Peter’s hand.
“I’ve seen it all Spider-Man,” She whispered as she began to walk, dragging Peter behind her. Y/N let go as she senses something with her tingle, stopping in her path. She stood still as Peter could feel something was off ass well. “I have a feeling something is close…” Y/N spoke almost in a whisper. Y/N squat down and felt the ground. It was extremely cold. “I think something is in this building, Peter,” Y/N said turning to a shot a few feet away from them.
“I think you’re right,” Peter agreed as Y/N walked to the door and gently opened it, careful to not make a noise. No one was in the shop, not a soul in sight. 
“What’s with these Urkianan spys and making things be dead silent?” Y/N asked looking around the sushi restaurant. Peter shrugged his shoulders as he took a step ahead of Y/N who went another direction. “Look that way and see if you see anyone or anything,” Y/N suggested. “I’ll go into the kitchen,” Y/N in one swift move went to the kitchen doors and went inside as Peter looked to throw the dining halls. Y/N peaked her head in to see no one, so she went a little further in.
A mess was left behind of fish and rice and other ingredients. It looked as if the end of the world was happening in one of those blockbuster movies. Y/N took off her mask, clenching it in her fist as she looked at every inch of the back and kitchen. Pots and pans littered the counters. 
Y/N tiptoed her way past the pans, trying her very hardest to not make a noise, just in case someone was in here. She saw order tickets and went to see if anything was off with them, or to see when the last time this ghost town of a restaurant was serving people. 
It was odd, they were surviving guests just 2 hours ago. What made it so dead? The door was unlocked and the sigh said opened. Y/N saw one slip that caught her eye. Y/N picked it up. The words in red ink that bleed throw the page read; dyvitʹsya vnyz i pravoruch. Y/N looked at it with slim eyes, confused. She picked it up and went back to the dining area to find Peter. Y/N tried to get Happy on the other end to see if he could get translate what it said.
“Peter,” Y/N called the slip in one hand and her mask in the other. Peter turned. “Do you know Ukrainian?” Y/N asked giving him the slip, trying to get Happy to answer her.
“No…” Peter answered.
“Can you get Happy on the line? Maybe he can give us a lead,” Y/N directed.
“Yes, of course,” Peter said as he pulled out his phone. “Happy… can you hear me?” Peter asked.
“Yes, something happened to my line I can’t see where you are at. Shawn and I are trying to fix it, but I think something or someone knows you’re in there… Get out and head to the Lemon Ballroom,” Happy was in a panic, Peter’s face went pale. Y/N listened and took his phone.
“Happy… before we leave we found a slip and it reads dyvitʹsya vnyz i pravoruch… please tell us what that means,” Y/N asked.
“That means ‘look down under and to your right’... The Lemon Ballroom has a basement… that’s probably what it means. Goodbye… I’ll see if I can connect back to your suits,” Happy said as ending the call.
“What do we do know?” Y/N asked. “I feel like something is up here,”
“Go to the Lemon Ballroom, I guess,” Peter looked at the paper once more and gave it to Y/N who shoved it in a pocket. Peter looked at Y/N and grabbed her hand, basically pulling her out of the building as they both ran down the street. Y/N tried to pull her mask over her face, but doing it with one hand was a bit difficult so it just was barely over her eyes. 
Down the street, they saw the building, but like the park, not a soul was around. Peter and Y/N stopped in their tracks to see a man dressed similarly to the other man in the park, but much paler.
“You got my note?” The man with a thick Ukrainian accent asked.
“Yes. What does it mean?” Y/N asked with a stern voice, taking off her mask.
“You’ll find out soon enough,” He said as another swarm of men with guns surrounded them.
Y/N turned to Peter as he took off his mask too. “Peter, stay sticky,” Y/N smiled without hesitation she grabbed Peter’s face and kissed him. Tasting the strawberries from his lips from breakfast. Peter was in shock but he let it happen as he kissed her back. Time slowed down as they melted into the kiss. Y/N pulled away as she began to run from Peter, putting her mask on and shotting her electric webs at them. Peter snapped out the moment, still unsure as he joined the fight
--
George went to the restaurant were Peter and Y/N left. He believed that ether Henry or Yeva was somewhere in the building. It was still dead, but he knew Peter and Y/N just left. George had his gun on hip, ready to pull it out at any given chance.
George saw a door that didn’t lead to the kitchen. He assumed something was down there. He opened the door as he raised his weapon, going down the stairs. “Hello?” George yelled, hoping for a response. He went down a long hall, the lights flickering on and off. George heard knocking on a door, George raised his eyebrows and moved to the door that he heard the knocking from. He moved his body to the right and put his hand on the door nob. Opening the door the room was completely dark beside a blue glowing light. George raised his gun higher, looking for a light switch. He found it and turned it on. In the middle of the room where Henry sat in a chair, tied up and passed out.
“Oh my god,” George said in shock seeing his once friend in that state. George rushed over to Henry and shaking him to wake up. “Wake up!” He shouted. His eyes sprung open as George pulled out the rag from his mouth. Henry seemed to in panic, unsure of where it was. 
“Where am I? G-George is that you?” Henry asked as George tried to untie Henry from the chair.
“Do you remember anything from the past 10 hours?” George asked.
“I… It’s not safe… Get out of here. Where is Y/N?” Henry asked.
“Saving herself and Peter… here hurry before we fuck ourselves over with this one. Stay behind me,” George helped Henry up as he tried his best to stay awake. But Henry passed out one more before getting to the stairs. George sighed as he put Henry over his shoulder. Dragging him up the stairs, he saw the women in the picture. No one else just her. It was Yeva
“Ha!” She laughed, hands on her hips. “You found my secret weapon… Y/N little hook up. I know it’s not him you want… but this,” Yeva pulled out a black box. “Want this?” She asked as George slammed Henry on a table to try to get the box from her.
“You fucking bitch!” He screamed using his force to throw himself at Yeva, dodging him and his fist.
“If you want it so badly, Y/N and Peter can get it from me at Lemon Ballroom on Friday night. Make sure you wear your best costume,” Yeva laughed as she vanished. George was confused as Henry woke up again. Ah, a costume party fight? 
--
Luckily no one got blown up or scratched up too badly, just s bloody nose from Y/N. George brought back Henry to the hotel room to see if he could give them any information, but he couldn’t think about anything. Y/N was a bit pissed to see her ex-boyfriend waltzing in, especially after she kissed Peter thinking she was going to die. George explained what Yeva said to everyone and Y/N was tired of all of it.
After everyone fell asleep, Y/N went to the bathroom and changed into a swimsuit, she needed to relax for a moment even at 2 AM. She took a towel and quietly shut the door making her way to the elevator. Y/N felt like a 16-year-old sneaking off away from her parents, but she knew she needed some time to swing and think.
As she made her way to the empty pool area, she dipped her toes in the hot tub that was next to it. She loved it. She looked out of the glass ceiling, looking at the stars and the moon the shined. She wished she could be with Peter and not have to stress about her double life. She wished she could talk to Back again about her problems and about her crushes but she knew she could never have those days again. She wondered if she screwed things up with Peter by kissing him before fighting. They barely talked after taking down Ihor, the other man that was by Yeva. 
Y/N sunk down, her head centimeters to her chin as she began to lightly sob to herself. She felt pitiful but she knew she had to come undone for a second. She whipped her tears away as she pulled herself back up, watching the steam rise from her chest. She closed her eyes and started to think about everything.
Hearing footsteps, Y/N opened her eyes in panic but say her curly-haired friend from the fight come near. “What brings you here?” Y/N asked as Peter stopped at the steps of the hot tub and sat down, only putting his legs in.
Peter titled his head, smiling. “I saw you were missing… heard the door from your room close and saw you in a swimsuit. I hope you don’t mind I join you,” Peter smiled as he bit his lip, nervous. Y/N smiled with her eyes as she made her way to Peter, putting her arms on his lap.
“You know I don’t care,” She whispered. “Why don’t you dive right in and join me. The water is much nicer from her,” Y/N winked as made her way back to her original spot. Peter lowered himself into the water, across from Y/N.
“Why go alone?” Peter asked.
“I just needed a moment to catch my breath and not worry about ether of my lives and now my dumbass ex is here… I feel like vomiting. I just… Nevermind it’s stupid,” Y/N back peddled, looking at the bubbles the hot tub was making.
“Nothing you say is stupid, you know that? In fact, I think everything you say is beautiful and I could hear you speak for hours,” Peter filtered making Y/N’s cheeks burn.
“You really think that Parker?” Y/N asked with a twinkle in her eye.
“Yea I do… now, what were you saying?” He asked.
“I just need a moment to feel normal and to feel alive! I honestly thought I was going to die and honestly a little part of me wished he’d shot me for good. I always lived this double life as a shape-shifting pop star that everyone wants to get to me just so they can get something. All those parties and concerts are nice, but there are people who know one side of me, not all angles and I’m just… tried. That’s why I’m so happy I have George… and you, Peter. You don’t treat me as Y/N fucking Y/L/N, the pop star. You don’t ask me for a shout out or ask me if you could meet someone else. You just wanted to meet me. I guess… I guess that’s why I like you,” Y/N ranted, avoiding eye connect with Peter. Peter made his way to Y/N and put a finger on her chin, making her look at him.
“You’re amazing… I wouldn’t imagine living that life. I’m glad we’re in each other’s life. I… can I should crazy for a moment?” Peter asked as Y/N nodded. “I really want to be with you. Not for any other reason other then you’re a talented, beautiful and smart girl that knows me in a different way than any MJ. If it wasn’t for you this past attacks, I’d probably have died. Our spidey tingle really connects us,” Peter laughed as Y/N let out a chuckle. “I know a hot tub might be a bad time to ask, or before spies costume party, but would you like to go out on a date with me?” peter asked with his boyish wounder. Y/N’s face formed a big dorky smile.
“Yes… I would love that,” Y/N smiled. “Also I wanted to state you’re a really good kisser,” Y/N laughed.
“You are too…” Peter looked into Y/N’s eyes as he leaned in, kissing Y/N once again. Y/N got on top of Peter as they connected lips. Both of them feeling happy and feeling as fireworks were exploding in the background. For one in Y/N’s life, she felt like she didn’t have to hide with Peter, that she can be whoever she wants to be.
“Hey! The pool is closed! Go get a room!” An old man yelled as Y/N got off of Peter, laughing as they got out of the hot tub, wrapping themselves up with the towel. Peter grabbed her hand as they rushed out of the pool house and going into the elevator pushing all the buttons.
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fmddevin · 4 years
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take care of me: daein’s story of fear.
scenario: so this is about the very first time daein tripped on acid & also his first bad trip. so....you could say he was pretty scared. big reason he doesn’t do lsd much. word count: 2,200 😳 notes: please know this isn’t saying if you get high you’re the same as very stupid kim daein. this is just his experience where tbh, a lot contributed to his bad trip. just please be safe & smart ok!!!!!!! and also, he’s dumb, especially in this phase of his life, and says/does some dumb things!! they don’t reflect my views. in fact...i cringed writing 98% of this. but also! if things like drugs & overdose and anything else in the tags make you uncomfy, please don’t read this...it might bother you! there’s also quite a bit of cursing. and i hate this & it’s not good AT ALL but i’m running out of time so i have to post it. anyways that’s all, ily all <3)
everything started off fine.
everything started off perfectly fine, and that was the scariest part.
there he was, in the center of the room, staring down a girl with her friends on the other side of the room.  he was still too sober, too bored, and was wondering where a few drinks could land him by the end of the night. truth be told, the usual routines were getting to be repetitive - get drunk, find a girl, land in bed by 3am, kick her out before his parents woke him up in the morning. but that was becoming a little too predictable, and tonight daein was craving a change of pace. he’d even gotten their early, thinking that getting there at the start of the party would hype him up. he only intense disappointment of a near empty room, not yet at it’s peak.
“you don’t look like you’re having much fun.”
huh? he can’t tell if he said it out loud over the blaring music, but from his furrowed eyebrows he’ sure the girl in front of him can sense his confusion. he scans her over, but nothing’s coming to him. no name, no potential friends - hell, did she even live here? because he swears he’s never seen her before, and if he did he would’ve tried talking to her a long time ago. “i mean - i guess. i might dip - party’s kinda dead, you know?”
she takes a step closer, and her unexpected proximity almost causes him to step back. “or maybe you’re just dead. what’s your name? i might be able to help you out,” she offers, gesturing across the room. shit. she wanted him that quick? that was a record, and he’s already getting himself ready to go before she turns around to him. 
“i have a friend here, he’s probably got something that’ll make you have some fun. i’ll tell him to hook you up.” for a second, he has no idea what she’s saying, and the only thing that’s really processing is that he won’t be getting laid tonight. deflating in every sense, and mouth agape in embarrassment as she talks,  he can only mumble a small thanks as he follows instructions.  really, he had no reason to comply, but trusting a random stranger seemed like the most exciting opportunity that would come to him for a while. only after she continues he gets it, and as he’s following her across the cup littered room he sees him. he would’ve just dismissed the guy in the corner of the room as a wallflower if he didn’t know any better, and although he’s getting the gut feeling that he shouldn’t be doing this he walks up to the expectant male.
“first time?”
“uh...no, dude. i’ve smoked plenty of times.” for a guy who pretends to be such a badass, he obviously’s the lamest of the bunch, because the other two begin cackling at his response. was that the wrong thing to say? so he laughs, along with them, pretending he’s in on a joke - even though it might be him.
“you’re funny. but for real, you’ve tried acid before, right? i don’t want to give it to you if you can’t handle it, man.”
 shit. acid? shit. this was really….really getting real. here he was, thinking he was getting a discount on some weed, when peeking out between the other’s hands is something much smaller than what he was expecting. he’s puzzled, but tries his best not to show it and shake the feeling off. “nah, im good. just a little nervous, that’s all. i haven’t….done this in a while, so….yeah.” by now he knows he sounds stupid, but this wasn’t what he signed up for when he agreed to come to this party. but what was he supposed to do? he had asked for fun and here came his saving grace - who was he not to accept an offer given to him so conveniently? fear is only reluctance about the unknown, he reminds himself. he’s not really scared to try it, he’s just scared because he doesn’t know what to expect. 
daein’s a sixteen year old phony, a kid from florida who smoked his first joint and thought he was the big man on campus. hell, he barely got away with sneaking that past his parents. how was he going to manage this? alcohol was predictable. he knew his body, and knew he could recover by the time he was supposed to be back from a “sleepover” with his friend. he’s never done anything above those things, and quite honestly is scared to try. but it wouldn’t hurt, just this once. he’s not going to let some nerves ruin his fun, right?”
“so…? you joining, or what, man?” daein’s lost in thoughts until he becomes aware of the awkward stare off, coughing uncomfortably. “oh - right, right. how much?” he asks, bringing his hand toward his wallet before the other brings it back down. he’s told not to worry about it, that it’s on the house - as long as he comes to him next time he wants to buy. just like that, it’s in his hand - what was it, exactly? a little square, almost like a piece of paper. it took multiple shots to knock him out cold. it was hard to imagine this would do anything.
looking around the circle they’ve formed, he’s watching to see who’s going to go first. not so much because of his nerves, but more because he doesn’t really know shit about what he’s doing. other kids might have learned from the movies or watched their friends, but these saturday night sneak-outs were the only times daein really got a glimpse of the real world. if he wasn’t here, he was at home studying, sleeping, or eating. but always, always under the watch of his parents. they were like hawks, which may have explained his desire to act out just this once where he wasn’t under their control.
everyone brings the thin slip to their lips - daein follows suit. everyone puts it under their tongue - he follows again. it’s like a game of simon says, except daein doesn’t really know what voice in his head is telling him to do all this. do i swallow it? do i chew? but no one else seems to do much else, so he lets it do it’s job.
now, the party’s starting, he thinks. except….it’s not. an hour passes. hell, wasn’t this stuff supposed to mess you up? he can barely feel a difference and it feels like he’s been waiting for hours. “i don’t feel shit,” he rather obnoxiously complains, only feeling the same boring buzz of alcohol. he wants more than this.
“dude, is this all you’ve got? you’re fucking weak. come on, i told you i’m not a lighthead. do you have anything else?”
“trust me, just chill out for a bit. it’ll kick in - i swear, you don’t need anything else.”
daein’s eyes plead for a reconsideration, but by the look on this guy’s face he’s not going to risk it. fine, he thinks. he doesn’t want to help him out? daein’s gonna speed up the process.
“pussies.” another shot.
but now….now he’s feeling something. the teen swears its because that one last shot gave him that extra push he needs, but after a while he’s not convinced that’s it. because it’s like a feeling in his chest, a feeling that’s getting bigger and bigger until it’s almost boiling over. he feels like he has bubbles in his stomach.
skip forward thirty minutes later, and it’s really kicking in. holy shit. he can feel every one of his toes, he swears, and when he tells his friends they tell him he’s gone crazy. it feels like the lights are getting hotter and hotter, and he wonders if it’s because he’s been dancing or it’s just his imagination. and honestly? he feels good. it’s like he’s really in one of those coming of age movies, everything seems so fun and everything is so funny. it’s like he’s dancing on the clouds, and daein gives himself a pat on the back for ever thinking this was a good idea.
it was different, but definitely manageable. this is nice, this is fine, he thinks. but the problem is, it’s like he’s going up an elevator he can stop.he wants everything to….stop here, but it’s not. fuck - how’s he going to get home.
now he’s got a new goal - have someone take him home, and take him home now. the feeling in his chest hasn’t subsided, and something’s telling him he hasn’t reached his peak high yet. what the hell was he going to do if he saw his parents like that? it was one thing climbing a fence drunk, but this….this was definitely different. he doesn’t have a clue how he’ll be able to sneak into his house like this - hell, he can hardly make it across the room. everything feels like it’s moving in slow motion around him, like he’s the only one who knows what’s going on. louder than the music, the voices, everything, he can hear his heart. it gets louder, louder, louder - shit, was it gonna beat out his chest?
“shit, is it gonna be out my chest?”
“what, is what gonna be out your che - man, what’d you take? you look awful.”
he knows that, but what can he do about that right now? he’s hot, at least, it feels like he is, but everything about him seems heavy and he’s not even sure he can wipe the sweat from his forehead. it seems like he has a piece of crinkled plastic over his eyes, like something’s stopping him from seeing clearly. he can’t see. it seems like every time he panics, he feels worse, and although he tries to calm down he’s not doing too good.
“home - i’ve gotta head home - now.”
“no can do. ask….tyler or something, i don’t know. i’m headed out with marina.”
“but-” he’s never heard himself this desperate. “-please.”
“sorry, devin. duty calls.”
duty calls. that’s his thing. and now that he’s the one asking for the ride, he realizes how shit the phrase really sounds. he’s the king of egocentrism, because all he can think is aren’t i more important? but he’s getting too unbothered to care, and through hooded eyes watches the other leave through the back door.
he makes the mistake of slumping down into the chair, and with how heavy his body seems it feels like he’s sinking into the carpet. he has to remind himself that he’s okay, that everything’s just an illusion, but it’s hard to remember when he feels like he’s falling further and further into the ground.
he’s sitting down, and still, it’s all just too much. he wants to throw up. there’s nowhere to go - his friends are assholes, and his parents will beat his ass. so he figures he’s a badass and can wait it out, and tries to close his eyes. but that doesn’t block out everything. he still hears the loud noises, feels the bodies brushing past him, feels like someone’s moving his chair around and around again. and for the first time that night, he realizes how alone he can feel around so many people. because he has no one. his heart’s getting louder, still. he’s slumped over a chair in the middle of a party and he thinks he’s gonna die. all he can think is - 
“how the hell did i get here?”
hot. cold. hot. cold. from breaking out into sweating fits to random spurts of chills, everything’s out of wack. and the funny part? he’s not even blaming it on the acid, he just wishes he knew where the thermostat is. but he can’t even find out, because the soles of his feet feel as if they’d got shackled down. he can’t go anywhere, and this is not ok.
he knows he needs to calm down, but the more he worries the faster the room seems to spin. the louder it seems to get, and the more daein wishes that it would all just stop. when he tries to get up again, only this time, he really feels like he’s headed for the floor.
until there’s nothing, nothing but darkness.
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sparda3g · 4 years
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One Piece Chapter 963 Review
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It has been a while since I last cover this series. The past three chapters focused on the backstory of the manliest of men, Oden, and so far, it has been pretty amusing. The sorrow will struck soon. In the meantime, enjoy every bit of Oden as his bound of greatness had no limit.
The past couple of chapters showcased how much of a macho Oden truly was in all of its meanings. With awesomely cool swag and great friendly attitude, it’s no wonder everyone, including Gol D. Roger, loved the guy. One chapter ended with the introduction of young Orochi, and every time I see him, it made my blood boils. At the same time, I wondered how in the world that piece of garbage took out the most interesting man in the world. Only one way to find out and that is to continue the flashback.
The last chapter ended with two Minks landed on Wano Country. We can easily assume they’re Nekomamushi and Inuarashi; sure enough, we hit the bullseyes. Before the story continues, the chapter opens with the detail on how those two landed on it. The Minks and Wano Country exchanged solemn vows a long time ago; essentially, they became brothers. I believe it was told before, but a reminder doesn’t hurt. Not to mention, I still get a good feeling when remembering the chapter where the Minks revealed to be faithful to Samurai. I love that moment.
Nekomamushi and Inuarashi were children at the time where they were washed up on shore. I got to say, I chuckled at looking at Inuarashi; something about those beady little eyes on the design amuses me. Like many children, they saw Wano Country as a remarkable place to be in. They set sail, only to find themselves in the heavy wave. The good news is, they reached to their destination. The bad news is, they don’t like it anymore.
Poor guys had to be berated by thugs, tying up to the pole for their amusement. Even Kawamatsu was part of the victims because of his kappa appearance. They were treated horribly because of the “unusual” nature, such as talking animals and a kappa. It’s Oda’s way to exploit the outcast’s treatment from society, and that always upset me. Thank God for Oden to arrive and beat the crap out of those garbage. Hilariously, he walked off, yet left the boys tied up. Our hero, everyone.
Writing these characters as children is a right call. Oden was very attractive to ladies, upmost inspirational to men, and now, really friendly to kids, let alone from different race. The children were fed, though Nekmamushi has a sensitive tongue, so it’s too hot for him to handle. Get it, he’s a cat. Oh well, at least they bonded and inspired Oden to travel across the sea.
One thing that stands out is Kawamatsu’s origin. The other two were already explained in the opening, but not his. Unfortunately for him, he had it rough with people discriminating him and his mother. The outcast’s discrimination is some sort of a theme for Minks, Kappa, Fishmen, and practically everyone not human. It’s frustrating. He lives by his mother’s last words to always be proud of being a Kappa. He thanked Oden for everything and thus, the loyalty was formed. This was nice, simple, and charming moment.
I find it funny how Oden can’t seem to read the mood. Those children’s backstories clearly insinuated that they have no home, yet all he did was to wish them good luck. They weren’t having it and so, they stood with them. You can sense the faction is growing to the state we know today. Oden lost his money because he gave them to Orochi. He really has a punchable face. I know he’s a child there, but I’m sorry, like the baby Thanos joke, it’s Orochi; take him out. Oden’s kind nature might be his downfall.
Although Oden has been the manliest of men throughout the flashback, let’s not forget another man who is also just as awesome in his own rights, Yasuie. The first time I saw him in the flashback had me confused; the changes are night and day. However, his nature remained the same and that’s what counts the most. Knowing that he brought Orochi to his care, it really pisses me off. Yasuie’s death scene is even more frustrating to read it again. But let’s not jump to the present time, because there’s more scenes to be awed back in the past.
As noted earlier, Oden lost money, thanks to that garbage, so his men decided to rob Yasuie. What a code of honor. Of course, they got caught; stupid crime gets stupid outcome. Fortunately, Yasuie was a man of wisdom that they needed. Not only he let them keep the money they’ve stolen but also given extras. You definitely don’t see that every day. He did this to grant them an opportunity to become a proper position; not just for Oden, but for themselves. Become Samurai. This move made me miss him a lot more than his time of death. Not to mention, made me hate Orochi even more than ever; how is that even possible?
I adore the montage. The path to Samurai is intriguing to see them evolve step-by-step; from dressing properly to gaining knowledge. The development was so drastic, it had Oden creeped out by their evolution. It’s funny, but uplifting. If there’s a way to pay him back after everything, this was the best step to take. The narration made it better with Yasuie giving them points to develop on and why they must embark this path. Oden will be Shogun; he will need them as Guardians.
Three years later, the outsiders, the gang, or whatever the title that painted them as bad are no more. I have to admit, the double-page spread got me feeling good for them. I know it’s expected since it takes place in the past and all, but it’s due to how it warms up the slow burn development from their first state.
It’s nice to witness the way Oden won the people’s gratitude. Keep in mind, the backstory began with everyone despise of him; at least with men who were shouting to hide their kids and wives. His own father disowned him. Here we are now with everyone looking at him as a messiah figure. He and his father were like actual family as well. Sadly, the reason for the reunion was because of his father’s illness. As nice it was for them to chat again, it would be the last time. I don’t know if Orochi has something to do with it since he was on panel during their chat, but if he was, Oda, you got to stop making me wish for death note.
Although I was enjoying this chapter with the birth of Samurai and more goodness of Oden, I remember a small scene about Rocks Pirates and the gathering in process. I assumed it would be saved for the next time, like someone has stepped into the country to end the chapter. Instead, we receive a sneak peak for the next scene, and I cannot wait.
Whitebeard and his crew have landed or rather crashed, which would be the seed planted to unveil the reason for so many top-tier pirates gathering according to Sengoku. Marco was a rookie at the time; definitely a veteran by now. The shocking part isn’t the fact Whitebeard was there, but the moment Oden says his greetings. He charged right at Whitebeard with his two swords and shockingly, gave him a struggle. That’s mighty impressive and that’s an understatement. The funny part about it, Whitebeard looked intimidated while Oden was asking to tag along to the cruise. That speaks volume, let alone their clash. Now I really wanted to know how Gol D. Roger “snatched” him later.
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Overall, this was a pretty enjoyable. It largely focused on the birth of Samurai, but not only was it necessary, it was entertaining. More origin stories were covered briefly and by the end, they became Guardians. It was all good feel development with small hints for the inevitable nightmare. The next moment looked very promising with Whitebeard and Oden came face-to-face. Seriously, how did Orochi kill Oden? By now, there’s no way to believe he killed him in combat. In any case, best to enjoy the swell sensation before hell rises.
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