AITA for letting my dog correct (nip) my niece to prove a point and refusing to punish him?

I own an ex-K9 called Biggles. Biggles is impeccably trained, a total gentleman when you're not being an asshole to him, but also has no time for your bullshit. He'll tolerate a lot more hassle from the younger kids in our family, but if they're allowed to persist in bullying him, he will correct them, just like he would the adults of the family.

Mostly Biggles will just push them over and walk away. Its his way of saying to leave him alone. Sometimes he'll bark loudly, a kind of 'fuck off now' bark. At the very extreme, he'll give them a tiny little warning nip on the arm or hand.

(Biggles has only ever nip corrected kids twice in all the years I've had him. Once when my cousin thought it was 'cute' to dump her toddler right on top of Biggles and let him rip at his fur and try to bite at his face, and once when my nephew was having a tantrum, Biggles tried to snuggle up to him to soothe him and my nephew hit him in the face.)

I firmly believe in learning how your pet communicates and respecting their reasonable boundaries. To me, if you're yanking on a dog's tail and ignoring everyone warning you to stop and you get a nip to the back of the hand for it, that's a valid consequence of your actions and you've just learned to respect the dog enough not to try pulling its tail out of its spine.

(This likely seems unfathomable to a lot of you, but I must clarify that Biggles isn't some hyper-reactive aggressive, dangerous dog like my sister thinks. He will more than happily play around with the little ones, faux wrestle with them, let them paw all over him and fuss at him, ect. He loves children, they're his babies. He does not love being in pain, and if the person causing it will not respect him or me enough to listen to my warnings, I believe they earn it when he warns them too.)

Anyway. Like you might've guessed, yanking on his tail was what my niece was doing at the beer-and-barbeque this weekend. I told her not to. My parents told her not to. Even my sister half-assedly suggested 'maybe Biggles wants to play a different game.' Biggles got up and moved away from her twice and she followed him both times to 'keep playing.'

My entire family knows how Biggles works. I warned my sister Biggles wouldn't tolerate what was happening. My sister told me I shouldn't own such a dangerous, unpredictable dog and he should be put down if he can't handle some 'rough love from a kid.'

(This was not rough love. This was my niece literally ripping at his tail thinking his pain responses were funny.)

I didn't want to cause a scene or subject Biggles to further harassment so I decided just once I'd cave and take Biggles inside so he could get some peace and I could enjoy my burnt ends without my sister squealing in my ear about being cruel to her child by telling her off.

Unfortunately, Biggles' patience ran out before I could make my way over. My niece yanked at his tail again, hard enough that it actually jolted him on the grass, and Biggles whipped around and nipped at her hand. I got to see her hand afterward and there was just a little red mark, no blood or broken skin. He'd just pinched her a little.

My niece screamed bloody murder like he'd taken her hand off and my sister screamed bloody murder about my 'vicious animal.' It devolved into a massive family-wide argument against my sister because my entire family knows its just basic respect and kindness not to cause an animal pain deliberately, and that its my sister's fault for not listening to anyone when we all told her and my niece not to hurt Biggles.

My sister stormed off and has since been blowing up the entire family demanding that Biggles be put down. She's threatened to call the cops, animal control, you name it. None of us are worried about that. There wasn't even a proper mark left on her hand and Biggles will pass any behavioral test with flying colors, but my sister is giving everyone grief and is refusing to attend any family events if Biggles will be there.

My dad is firmly on my side, but my mom is imploring me to just fake apologise to get some peace back. When I recounted the story to my colleague this morning, he said she got what she earned, but also why would I bring Biggles to an event I knew a disrespectful little shit of a kid was at?

I don't feel like an asshole in terms of allowing my dog to establish his boundaries. In my and my family's opinion pets are their own entities and should be treated with belonging and respect when part of a family. Its also just common sense not to cause an animal pain for the fun of it.

However, I'm also very aware that getting nipped by a dog, especially at such a young age, can be catastrophic. My niece could be terrified of dogs for the rest of her life, and while I don't feel guilty she got corrected, I do feel somewhat guilty that I didn't intervene sooner and have possibly set her up for failure in the future. And I do feel like an asshole for letting it get to that point, but it did all happen pretty quickly.

All things considered I do love my niece, she's family, she just gets away with murder because my sister thinks being a little girl is an automatic pass to do whatever you want without consequence.

I've probably painted Biggles out in a real bad light here, but I can assure you that in general Biggles is the perfect family dog. He's loving, playful, he tries to share his kibble with everyone at dinner, he helped us teach my uncle's puppy tricks and how to behave and potty outside ect.

So I guess I'm really asking am I the asshole in this situation, as the one responsible for Biggles?

What are these acronyms?

AITA for losing my virginity to a ghost?

The only person who’s opinion I really care about is Jesus Christ, but do you all think He will forgive me this?

So for context, me (18F) and the ghost (18M) were not married. We’re only 18 after all! And my parents would not have realistically approved of him, even if he was still alive: he was promiscuous football player and bully. And I didn’t even really like him, he just made me feel a little tickle in my mommy spots.

Anyways, I promise there was a good reason for having such relations with this man! You see, me and some of my classmates wanted to scare him in this old haunted house, video his reaction, and humiliate him so he would be less… strong? Commanding? Powerful? Lust-provoking? All of the above, really. But unfortunately the house was too unstable and he fell through the floorboards and died, so we had to cut off his limbs and hide them in the floor. But the house had a spell on it so he came back to life as a ghost and was hunting us down.

The dark gods we summoned (NOT SATAN OR SATANISM-RELATED!) said that they would get rid of the ghost if we gave up the thing we cherished most. So I did it. I made my noble sacrifice and gave up my chastity to the ghost. And it worked! His soul was taken to hell and we were saved (except for a couple kids who died before this but oh well, nothing I could do about that).

So yes, I did give up my virginity before marriage. And yes, I may have had a few sexual fantasies involving this man prior to his death. But surely I’ll be forgiven for my lustful actions due to the nature of this situation, right?

AITA (M, 20) for not supporting my best friend and roommate's (M, 21) new relationship?

-> Day 3: Fake Dating. I know that robin is a lesbian okay

I and my best friend have known each other since forever. Our relationship had a bit of a rocky start (he used to bully me, then he started dating this girl (20, F), then I punched him in the face, me and his girlfriend started getting closer and we ended up kinda cheating while on a roadtrip together (though their relationship was already falling apart anyway), she broke up with him and we got together, the three of us spent lots of time together because we had no one else, and a whole bunch of more stuff. But we worked through it.)

We both were raised in a small conservative town - which, as two bi people, was not exactly fun. He didn't even know that you could like more than one gender, and I denied this part of myself for the longest time due to being in a m/f relationship.

My (or I guess our?) ex is super smart and got into a great university far away. The plan had been for me to go with her, but I was rejected and also didn't want to live so far away from my siblings (M, 16 & F, 15). So me, my best friend, and his other best friend (F, 19) moved in together to go to another uni. Well my best friend started dating his other best friend. Like, they already used to be extremely close, but now they are touching ALL THE TIME. And she keeps whispering stuff into his ear. And they only have eyes for each other. And are all giggly the whole time. And I feel...bad. I really though I was over the internalized biphobia. Just because he is in a m/f relationship doesn't mean he is any less queer or betraying me or anything. And now I feel doubly bad because even though I know that, it doesn't stop me from feeling this way. It is just a really fucking bad situation overall. Can anyone please help me?

nosyb!tch

Can you please elaborate on the whole ex-girlfriend thing?? Wtf??!?!

photojraphy

I don't think that that particular aspect is needed to better understand my current situation. Although I must commend you for your rather accurate username.

ifyoureadthisyouareGAY

Hey. Not to be that guy. But like....did you ever consider that maybe there is another reason why you may be upset about your bf being in a relationship?

photojraphy

No.

thebestlesbean

omg u/greathairington u/greathairington u/greathairington I TOLD YOU IT WOULD FUCKING WORK GAY FANFICTION HAS NEVER LET ME DOWN

greathairington

what the fuck jon robin is literally a lesbian?!?!?!

photojraphy

what.

UPDATE: My best friend (now boyfriend!!) (M, 21) and HIS best friend (F, 19) were faking a relatonship. As it turns out, he had been into me the whole time and was by now desperate enough to agree when she had the grandiose idea to pretend to be together in order to make me jealous. This is the reason I never caught them kissing: she is a lesbian. I can't believe I didn't know that. I can't believe it actually worked. I can't believe that me punching him in the face was his bi awakening. At least this whole thing had a happy ending. I will now bury myself into a hole.

thebestlesbean

Don't let that mf fool you they are literally so disgusting rn

photojraphy

(this message was deleted due to multiple infringements of our guidelines)

@stonathanweek

Uff.....

AITA for reuniting with my childhood sweetheart?

I (25F) moved out of my hometown out in the mountains to the city for college at 18, moving in with Sister (30F). This move separated me from my parents and anyone else I knew for years, including my childhood sweetheart (27M). We started out as the typical bully pulling pigtails until CS and I grew up. We admitted feelings at 15 and 16, with him explaining that he always had feelings for me. However, he didn’t want to leave Hometown and didn’t have an interest in college, and so we broke up.

I buckled down, got my business degree, and met Ex (23M) through Sister. She works with him at their publishing company. Ex was always a little cold but he communicated his love through gifts. The biggest gift turned out to be him putting off publishing his first book in order to make sure his own reputation didn’t hurt me as I climbed up the business ladder.

All was fine in my world until last month.

Now, Sister usually visits Hometown for Christmas. I couldn’t for years because I was so busy. This year, however, our roles switched and I ended up going to Hometown.

Now, Hometown has a totally different vibe from City. It has those Hallmark movie vibes with a giant Christmas tree in the center and everything’s cozy and comfy. My parents were super happy to see me again. I was happy to see them too.

Much to my surprise, I ran into CS soon after. He has a job as a lumberjack so he’s super jacked and smells like pine. We started talking and stuff, and I realized that I still had feelings for him- I couldn’t help it! He was the love of my life my entire childhood! He soon admitted that he also had feelings for me. I admit, I got caught up in the feels…

Until Ex showed up.

He came to surprise me for Christmas. He even had a ring. Unfortunately, things didn’t go well. I told him that I had always loved CS, and his response was So our relationship was a lie? He even pointed out the thing with the book, and I pointed out that books weren’t a steady job. He ended up leaving, and I brushed it off. CS was a good distraction.

Until Sister showed up, having called off work to talk to me. Apparently, she was the one to arrange Ex to show up and knew for weeks that he was planning to propose. She told our parents about him and now my parents are freaking out, because they encouraged my reunion with CS. Now I feel bad because… My ex loved me.

So, was I the AITA?

AITA for becoming my ex-best friend’s nemesis after he ditched me to join a superhero team with my bullies?

Some context. I (16F) have been best friends with this guy Gale (16M) since…forever. Our moms were in the same pregnancy support group and we went to the same kindergarten and we’ve basically been inseparable our entire lives. We’ve always been there for each other when times were tough- my dad died in a freak accident at work when I was 5 and his family really helped me and my mom, and we offered similar support when his older brother died a few years later.

I don’t want to minimise Gale’s issues but he’s lived a much more comfortable life than me. His dad is the CEO of a construction company and they have a normal sized house in a nice area (difficult to get in our city). Meanwhile my mom works 3 minimum wage jobs and barely affords the rent in our run-down apartment in the most dangerous part of town. He’s super sociable and gets along with everyone, while I’ve been bullied since the day I stepped on the playground. We’re both equally smart but teachers see him as charming while I’m the disruptor. The only real “advantage” I have is athletically. Gale was never interested in doing extracurriculars, but the 2 neighbours on our floor teach martial arts and REALLY like my mom’s cooking so I’ve been getting free Jujustu and Capoeira lessons since Elementary school. But I never really made friends in those classes so it’s always just been me and him.

Anyway a couple days after Gale’s 16th birthday he started acting wierd. He was spending less time with me, hanging out with other people and dodging the issue anytime I asked him about it. He was still friendly during school but anytime I wanted to hang out he’d say he couldn’t. I wasn’t angry, just concerned, especially since he’d been getting closer with a select few classmates who’d been especially ruthless when bullying me and often picked on him too. Eventually he relented and told me that his dad had volunteered to be the coach for the “Lacrosse team” and signed him up for practice every day after school and he had no say in it. I said it was fine and he didn’t need to hide that from me but he said he felt bad bc he couldn’t hang out as much.

I spoke with my mom about it and she said I should ask about joining the lacrosse team too if I really wanted to keep spending time with him, so I did. And it turns out the Lacrosse team was a LIE. Well it did exist, but they were using it as a cover. Turns out Gale’s dad was our city’s superhero (his name is “Tempest” and he has weather powers) and he’s been acting as his sidekick and leading some kind of young justice-esque teen supersquad with my 3 bullies. Btw, I only learned this AFTER I showed up to Lacrosse practice where I was ridiculed by them and Gale cut off our friendship entirely. Initially I was going to forgive him bc he kept giving me guilty looks at school and I figured he probably ditched me for my own safety. But then he told the bullies ABOUT MY DEAD DAD, apparently in an effort to get them to sympathise with me and leave me alone. This obviously didn’t work and now the entire school knows about my home situation and I’ve been the butt of so many hurtful jokes.

Anyway the only reason I found out Gale’s secret was because I was one of the civilians caught in the crossfire between their squad and his dad’s nemesis, some supervillain named “The Underking.” This Underking guy saved me from falling debris at some point, and I followed him back to his headquarters out of morbid curiosity. Initially he was furious and tried to get rid of me but then I learned that not only was this guy BEST FRIENDS WITH MY DAD, HE WAS THERE WHEN HE DIED AND IT WASNT AN ACCIDENT. Apparently the factory they worked at was destroyed by a supervillain, and when he went after him he learned that the guy was being paid so the building owner could commit insurance fraud. All the villains currently attacking the city were getting similar payments, and the Underking was masquerading as a bad guy to try and get in good with them and uncover who was behind it.

I begged him to let me help find out who killed my dad, and while he didn’t want to at first, I told him that I knew the secret identities of everyone in the hero squad that just defeated him and what their weaknesses were. He gave me this suit that gives me invisibility powers and now I’m an “intern” at city council because it turned out this guy was THE MAYOR.

I started this whole out of spite but working for him has actually been really nice? He’s become like a surrogate father to me; he tells me stories about my dad, his lackeys help me with my homework, and he’s been paying my mom’s rent. He’s encouraged me to put more effort into my martial arts classes; I actually started making friends with the other people there and now my mom has more money I can afford to go out and do nice things with them.

Gale, his dad, and my bullies all know I’m the Underking’s new sidekick causing mayhem around the city. I tried to hide it but I got tag-teamed a couple fights ago and they ripped my mask off. The Underking lost that fight but I sure didn’t! Seeing the fear in my bullies eyes when they realised the girl they’d been throwing in dumpsters can roundhouse kick with near-professional precision was the highlight of my week ngl. They’ve FINALLY stopped harassing me at school because of it.

Part of me still feels bad though, Gale told me that he never wanted to work with my bullies and wanted me on the team instead but his dad said no. Whenever we fight in the field it feels super personal, and he always looks super betrayed. A couple times he’s even begged me not to fight. I just can’t help but feel like he decided that being a superhero was more important to him than being my friend. But when I put it that way I feel selfish. AITA?

Okay, so all in all, this Lego game is actually pretty fun and cute in how it presents the key scenes from the films, but I just want to say that the "Snape's Memory" level was probably the most uncomfortable level of any game I've ever played, and let me tell you a thing or two about how the sort of games I've played over the years aren't always cutesy animal mascots or funny little platformers.

This level has you in the shoes of young James, Sirius and Remus as you chase down a clearly scared young Severus Snape through the halls as he hides in lockers, behind items and finally in a tree that you will then conjure a pair of shears to cut down the branch he's sitting on as he reads a book. Then you duel him and it initiates a cutscene of which, after attempting to defend himself, James blasts him with a charm that leaves him standing in his shirt and little green Lego underpants, trying to cover himself before the memory ends with a zoom out to present day Lego Snape's lip wobbling before he points Lego Harry out the door in a much more subdued manner than how the movie presents it and far more tame than how it went down in the books.

As you can see here, I hesitated in my footage as I was realizing in real time that I was supposed to terrorize young Snape. 🥺

Now, of course, Snape wouldn't exactly be my favorite character of the series, as I grew up reading the books and can easily point out all the reasons why you really shouldn't take his redemption arc as perfect... But I wouldn't say he's my least favorite as he's certainly a very interesting character and the movie portrayal was absolutely a fantastic adjustment ((thanks to my brother, YEARS ago, I have a little Snape figurine that's kind of cute and modeled after the movie version, and I unironically love the little piece of plastic)).

((a lengthier post under the jump here, in which I ramble about the complex morality of said character, remind y'all that he was also a bully, and also other tangents that'll let y'all really know that I probably haven't told you guys just how much this series was a key memory of my childhood))

There's his good moments that were definitely planted early on to make re-visits to the series a nice refresh now that you know the intent of his actions, but, as I like to say: "Hey, didn't he literally throw a glass jar in the general direction of Harry's head once, just days after the whole thing about Harry unintentionally invading his memories? Like, this 36 year old man lobbed a glass jar at a 15 year old kid's face because he's still holding a grudge over this kid's dead dad. Yeah, that's book exclusive, but it still happens."*

But, that said, Snape's childhood was rough and this part was a bit rough to play through with that context, I suppose at least the Lego form of it omitting being hung upside down by the ankle and getting his mouth flooded with soap to the point he was choking was wise on thier part-

Oh, wait, didn't he also call his one good friend a slur after she attempted to help him, because she kind of smirked a bit at seeing his underwear?

Dang, everyone sucks here. This whole event reads like a Reddit AITA post, ngl. My favorite character was Remus, and arguably, while he didn't actively participate in the bullying, he still acknowledged years after the fact that being a bystander was just as bad, so even my favorite character is in the wrong and can't be excused.

But, hey, if everyone was perfect, then stories would be boring because there's no conflict or flaws, and that's sort of needed anyway in order to show growth or downward spirals.

* Really, anything that Snape did in relation to literally bullying children he's supposed to be teaching is just gross. Remember that Neville's boggart takes the form of Snape, when everyone else is afraid of things like spiders or snakes or Voldemort. Neville didn't feel safe around his own teacher, how messed up is that? Snape got bullied as a kid and turned around to be the bully, and even WORSE, joined a supremacy club, and only tried to back out when it affected him personally. He did not break the cycle. Casual reminder that Snape was 100% willing to let James and Harry die in exchange for Lily, and only revised that idea after Dumbledore called him out on being such a sick slimeball.

Simply put, Snape was an incel, and I think we shouldn't forget that. And that's fine, that's his character, it makes his choice to sacrifice himself for the greater good a little more satisfying, but we should not forget that this whole story was mostly his fault to begin with. Alternately, if the Sorting Hat had placed him anywhere else, it might have improved his chances of bettering himself, or if his parents weren't such awful people to him, but at the end of the day, he made the choices he made and he had to deal with it.

Why am I even typing all this, it should be pretty obvious that I don't support his actions despite him being in my list of favored characters of the book, like, he's just interesting in the sense that I grew up with the books as they were coming out, so there was all these years of build up for me to flit between "Ew, Snape." and "Oh, Snape?" and "Aww, Snaaaape..." and "Wow, Snape!", so it was literally information I picked up between ages 11-17, much like the main characters of the books, tbh.

My favorite Snape moment in the books? Book 3, when we find out, thanks to the Time Turner, that he wasted no time in tending to the kids and Sirius after finding them unconscious, so he conjured up stretchers to take them back to the school, when like, it's established that as far as he knows, no one is around to observe this and he doesn't take the opportunity to rough up Sirius a bit, so him choosing to do things the right way while not being observed is an interesting side of his character that isn't remarked on enough.

Favorite Snape moment in the movies?

This. "Prisoner of Azkaban" was the only Harry Potter movie I saw in theaters because my mom's coworkers convinced her to take me right after her shift at work when I was spending the day with her on a day off from school and had dragged along my copy of "Order of the Phoenix" to read quietly, and next to Book 5, Book 3 was my next favorite in the series and this adaptation was my favorite despite the major changes, and the changes to Snape's involvement to the plot was honestly welcoming because Snape throwing his arms back to defend the kids from Lupin as a werewolf, without hesitation, is such a good layer to add to him.

Favorite Snape moment in the Lego Games?

Hard toss up between the fist pump at getting his dream job, the shaky wand before being forced to kill Dumbledore, the refusing to celebrate thing even though they slapped a hat on him, the nod to Harry after revealing that he was the Half-Blood Prince, the fact that Lego Snape's "death" was prompted by scarfing down the last cookie, or that they had to extra his tears by shoving an onion in his face ((I don't even think he dies in this version of events, he just cries and falls over)). Lego Snape is the saddest looking piece of plastic I've ever seen. He falls in that category I have for Lego Joker, which is: "The actions of the source material character doesn't carry over into Lego form, so they can be judged based on thier actions as Lego, therefore I can call them cute in the sense that they're goofy action figures."

Just a but disappointed that we didn't get Snape's completely unhinged shrieking fit at Harry and Hermione after Sirius and Buckbeak escape, and he's ((rightfully)) 100% convinced they had something to do with it, but doesn't have the proof other than he just knows. The all caps words on the book pages while he's just screaming about Harry somehow escaping the hospital wing to do this because it's the sort of thing he knows Harry would do, while Dumbledore and Fudge are just exchanging glances and Harry keeping a straight face during this is just sublime.

I mean, as far as Snape knew, he was about to finally get revenge on the man he thought was responsible for the death of his closest friend/crush, her husband and about 12 other people, and presumably said individual was out to get the last remaining bit of Lily's legacy that survives, so naturally Snape was like "Oh, joy, I not only get to end this once and for all, but I'm gonna be seen as a hero for saving these kids and maybe I'll get that validation I've only dreamed of, tee hee~" only for it to get snatched away in a few minutes, and he knows full well that Harry has already thwarted no less than three attempts on his life so far and the kid totally has the nerve to do stupid brave things all the time, I don't blame him for thinking that Harry was the one who let Sirius escape, and he's totally right but can't prove it, lol.

Kind of wonder what Snape must have thought when he found out that Sirius was in the Order, too? Can you imagine how awkward that probably was when Snape walked into 12 Grimmauld Place, and sees this guy and the mysteriously disappeared hippogriff in there, two years later? I bet Snape's brain gears went into overdrive and was like "I freaking KNEW it." and probably threw his hands in the air once he was brought up to speed on the situation by Dumbledore.

AITA for teaching my in-laws a lesson? by u/Annabelle-Sunshine

AITA for teaching my in-laws a lesson? I met my husband a few years ago. It was love at first sight. We got engaged and married shortly after that. Here’s where things started to go wrong.My husband’s family runs a successful business. Because of this, they paid for the wedding. I didn’t want my family to attend. Of course, I’m special but I’m not a fan of my family. My dad raised me but he’s overweight, so I didn't want him to come. Imagine how they photos would look? Instead I ignored him until he got the hint. I didn’t book a flight or tell him about the wedding. He’s never spoken to my fiancee. I’d worry over what he might say. My ruse worked. He got the hint and we haven’t spoken since. Mission accomplished.After the wedding, I worked in the family business. My in-laws set me up to fail. They assigned me a team of people. But they were all sub-par. When I emailed them, I had to wait hours or even days for a reply. When I shouted at the employees, they said they don’t reply to emails during the weekend. Lazy ingrates. I was working my ass off, and they couldn’t even reply to emails.My sister-in-law and grandmother-in-law gave out to me about how I speak to staff. They're obviously racist. That's the only explanation. It also explains why the employee in Australia cried when I threw a cup at him. He started it by staring at me.The employees kept quitting. One by one, they left in tears. They called me a bully. But I think it's because they didn't want to look at me. I'm bi-racial. My husband's family live in a country with a cold climate. Their pasty skin has not seen sunshine. They all have scurvy. Seeing the exotic glow of my tanned skin was too much for them. They quit so they could spend more time eating oranges.I had to go on international trips as part of the role. Everything was paid for by the family. But they didn’t pay me any extra for attending. I selflessly promoted the family firm overseas, why wasn’t I paid?I had to sleep in crappy housing units. We went to Syndey and stayed in Admiralty house. We only had a wing to ourselves. We had to share the house with other people. It was dehumanizing.They sent us to South Africa. We had to mix with poor people. It was disgusting. They hadn't even heard of Brazilian Blowouts.After that, we decided to take an extended paid vacation. My husband and I quit our jobs without notice and moved away. They gave us some money. Just a few million, even though I worked there for 30 days. They’re so stingy.We needed to make money. So we’ve been selling stories about them to all who will listen. After that, they still haven’t apologized.We went back there to attend a family funeral and they ignored us. They’re so petty. We wanted to get more information and stories to sell. They didn’t even give us one. It’s like they want to destroy us, by not letting us sell them out anymore.I know I’m not the asshole, they are. So my question is, how do I get back at those assholes?NoteI'm reposting this by popular demand. I didn't get satisfactory answers the first time so I thought I'd ask again. post link: https://ift.tt/r8y5nwO author: Annabelle-Sunshine submitted: November 29, 2023 at 02:12PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

“AITA? So I (28M) have this coworker. we can’t stand each other most of the time and argue a lot. recently we started having a sexual relationship and i’ve realized i’m starting to have actual romantic feelings for them, so i decided to be even more of a dick and push them away. The other day they said they’re sick of me looking out for them and i told them it’s because they know i’m looking out for them that they’re sloppy and reckless. they got upset about this and i called them a stubborn cunt because i know they hate that. they got upset and said that they aren’t going to let me lay a finger on them. the other they snapped and said they’re sick of me treating them like they’re “insignificant” and acting like they’re incapable of defending themselves, and we haven’t talked sense. AITA?

the comments:

“…..dude.”

“what made you think calling them a stubborn cunt would make them see your point of view? if you’re incapable of telling them you care for them, which you obviously do if you’re looking out for them, then just drop the relationship period because if you don’t they will when they realize you’re not worth the hurt.”

“oh my god are you stupid😭”

(half of these comments are from 141 on burner accounts)

This is so spot on 😂 I love the un self aware tone of voice! Although the part where he admits he’s a dick to push Frenchie away might be different. I feel like he’d say some nonsense like, I’ve just been trying to be up front and honest with them on their self defence, really it’s for their own good. In my line of work you can’t bullshit around so I called them a stubborn cunt to get them to listen to me and then they went off and got all huffy about it! They keep insisting I’m being a dick and making them feel small because they’re too sensitive, I think they’re the problem, but I just need to hear it from you guys. AITA?

All the rulings are just YTA, and Soap is diving into the comments, going full keyboard warrior trying to defend himself 😭😂

Can you imagine everyone on Reddit looking forward to when he next posts, ready to to tear him a new one everytime! And yes omg, thinking about Ghost and the rest of the 141 not wanting to get involved directly with him, but making a throwaway account on Reddit to bully him is so funny omg

i’m watching the first karate kid movie, and i had forgotten how really awful johnny was to daniel in this. he was such a bully to the poor boy! but i had also forgotten how absolutely lovable daniel was—he was such a scrappy, cute, kind and sweet boy. the first thing he does when he gets to the new apartment is find some water for a neighbor’s dog—without being asked or anything! what an angel. and i love the relationship he has with his mum. so adorable!!

that’s something i didn’t like about ck—how they made the mum not like amanda when she’s so loving and supportive in this movie.

and i can’t stand how in ck, they downplay johnny’s mean bullying actions to daniel, but play up daniel’s responses to them or his short temper. wtf!!!

johnny is 100% in the wrong, fuck the ck writers. trying to make daniel into an aggressor when he was 100% the bully, and a friendly sweetheart to boot.

What is so sad about how they handled the way Johnny sees Daniel is that it could have made for such a good show. Because Johnny is objectively wrong, but the new audience doesn't know that, and they could have fanbase go "Wait, I don't remember that at all...?!?"

Because it is fine that Johnny is an unreliable narrator. That is fun, actually. He begins the very first episode on a lie: Daniel did not leave him lying facedown on the floor, as the first episode suggests, but it's been over 30 years and maybe Johnny remembers it this way now, because he looks on that moment as the moment his whole life spiralled downhill.

That is good storytelling! That is cool storytelling! They could even frame Daniel through Johnny's eyes as doing things Johnny perceives to be asshole moves, because that's how he wants to think of Daniel.

But where they went wrong with Daniel is that they showed him doing asshole things even when Johnny was nowhere in sight. And that's just not Daniel. That's bad writing! I really admire how Ralph managed to make it pretty clear even then that Daniel is reacting to the threat that is Cobra Kai, not the threat that is Johnny Lawrence, but it would have been much better if, for instance, you only see Daniel through Johnny's eyes, freaking out completely over Cobra Kai, and then the story would shift to Robby, being Johnny's son, and then everybody already loves Johnny, and they're like oho, no, Robby is getting pulled into that asshole's world and then it turns out that Daniel simply isn't an asshole. And then you get to the fight between Robby and Miguel and Robby is not an asshole at all, either. He's good, he's polite, Daniel is a good sensei, and Miguel wins because he attacks Robby's injury outside the fight and Johnny has to go like, ah, shit, AITA?

But they had to make it that Johnny was right! And you can't do that without making Daniel a completely different person! I'm glad they had this moment midway season two where Daniel went "Wow. That was out of character, huh?" and was simply allowed to act more like himself, but it would have been a better show if the writers had not been so obsessed with having found their anti-woke icon who cannot do wrong and acknowledged far earlier that Johnny's mindset is messed up and getting people hurt left right and center. And maybe even delved into the fact that if Robby is messed up to no end, which he is too, possibly giving him the skills to hurt people more effectively is not a good idea. Mr. Miyagi did not go around teaching karate either; you need a very strong student sensei bond, a real need to fight (Robby wasn't being bullied), and even then I think that Mr. Miyagi very consciously steered Daniel away from the attacking side of karate. Not because he wasn't good enough, as ck has Chozen imply, but because Daniel does have a little Cobra Kai in him, Terry isn't wrong. Daniel loves the thrill of the fight a bit too much, actually. That's in the films. "Why didn't you kill him?" Because murder bad, Daniel-san? (Tf, boy, I'm not teaching offense any time soon...) and how they built on that in CK is actually interesting! Of course no karate is defense only. But Miyagi only taught Daniel to fight with a bo because if he'd taught him to fight with sai somebody might have ended up very dead...

...Anyway, the reason I write all that is because of Robert Mark Kamen and Ralph playing Daniel, not the CK writers writing Daniel.

And yes, what they keep doing with Lucille is so bad. Nagging mother-in-law, really? Like she doesn't understand what being a working Mom is. And with her own business. Also that story about Daniel lying to her as a young boy, "it wasn't me?" Daniel is an atrocious liar, honest to a fault, he only ever lies to save others pain. "I have it under control!" [He did not, in fact, have anything under control] that's Daniel. Lucille wants Daniel to have someone, why would she come between them? If anything, that sends up red flags about Amanda. But the writers do not care, because what to mothers in law do other than nag about dinner? They have not thought about what it actually means to be a working Mom for ten seconds. The only thing they really care about is redeeming bullies and dealing with Daddy issues.

And yet so often they write something really interesting without meaning to, or the actors play it in a way where it suddenly does add 20 layers to what we knew before but that is about as often despite the writing rather than because of it. It has so much heart, and commitment, and it's often almost good and then they're like no, our self-insert Johnny is the best Johnny even when Billy and Marty are like, 'actually, you're dead wrong...'

Honestly sometimes the most interesting thing about BNHA fic is seeing just how fast an author’s biases pop up

And I’m not even talking in terms of “who is your fav character” (tho that happens) but like. How does the fic author view and interact with BNHA’s canonical bullying, abuse, hero culture, etc. Some are clearly baby radicals who have grasped the idea that (x) is wrong, but don’t yet have enough irl experience to apply nuance. Some are clearly getting catharsis from righting wrongs. Some are just here to spork the world building oversights. Most of them just hate Mineta and want him gone.

Absolutely none of this is bad, I just enjoy seeing it, esp if I read 2 fics in quick succession that handle the same issue completely differently. Sometimes it like reading a reddit AITA thread, but with 0 real world people being hurt, it’s great.

Look, This is gonna be one of those things that sounds bad until you read the whole story. Please don't read the title and go to 'yta' without reading.

AITA for yelling at our friend that my brother isn't trans?

Look, My brother ISNT trans. He likes to wear kilts and sew, Which is what kind of started all of this. My brother is NOT trans, He loves being a boy (trust me, I can hear him enjoying being a boy in his room all the time. Theres no way he'd wanna chop it off(I mean this as a joke I don't actually know how the surgery works), He's told me multiple times that being told by others what he likes is 'feminine' and 'girly' upsets him because he's proud of being a boy and doesn't like being called a girl. Its not because he hates girls or thinks less of them, He just does not like being called the wrong gender which I'm sure you want to be called the correct gender too.)

Anyways lets begin. I (16F) am my little brothers (15M) best friend, Basically. We grew up together and do everything together, Including sewing. I liked it when I was younger, And eventually convinced him to try it as well. He loved it, And we love just sitting together and making random crap we usually end up selling at our yearly garage sale. (Our mom makes us sell all our unneeded crap every year, But we aren't complaining when we make like $100 for it, Mom and dad even help us figure out what we actually wanna keep (we sometimes see old things and go 'Oh I could never get rid of this' and then throw it away))

Sorry for the rambling, But you'll see why some of this is important to know.

Basically, We were getting our shit together for the garage sale, And invited over a mutual friend of ours, Who I'll call uhhh Ley (16F). Shes kind of obsessed with the LGBTQ and loves to help people 'realize' they're gay or trans or non-binary. By this I mean she'll literally bully people she 'knows' is gay or trans by always telling them they are and spreading rumors about them saying they are. The way she 'knows' these things are from gut feelings. I thought maybe she needed friends who would be honest with her and tell her gently that it needed to stop. She stopped being so bad with it and we even convinced her to admit to the rumors she started being fake. We've known her for around 3 years now, And she's stopped doing it as aggressively for 2 of those years. She still makes jabs and 'jokes' saying things like "Oh thats so girly, Are you sure you're not trans?" and "Oh thats such a boy thing to do, Are you a lesbian?", Both quotes she's said to me and my brother less than a week ago. I am straight and cis, So is my brother. We have nothing against the lgbt, We just aren't apart of it. We support the lgbtq as much as possible (with my part time job I like to donate some of my paycheck towards point of pride so people who need the surgeries or binders can get them), And are very open about supporting them.

While we were cleaning out my brothers room and finding stuff to throw into the 'sell' box (we like to do precleaning before our parents help us, It makes everything faster and less work on the people trying to help), And Ley found my brothers kilt. She did a long exaggerated gasp, Looking at my brother.

"So, How long have you been trans? Why didn't you tell me?? I knew it the whole time!"

My brother tried to explain that it was a kilt for men, And he wasn't trans, But she kept interrupting him saying crap like 'you don't have to lie I know now' and 'Its nothing to be embarrassed about, I knew ever since you started to sew'. The last straw for me was when she continued not listening to him and started to ask about how he was gonna come out as school. I yelled at her to get out, That neither of us were gay, Neither of us are trans, And neither of us are apart of any of the lgbtq. We are allies and nothing more. She tried to argue that he had a 'skirt' which OBVIOUSLY meant he was trans, I basically screamed at her that she was a stupid know it all who made everyone who wasn't apart of the lgbtq's life hell because she made sure everyone knew them as someone they arent (I know, I shouldn't of brought up 2 years in the past) and that I was tired of her trying to force everyone to be in the LGBTQ when its just not realistic. Not everyone is gay or trans, Some people are cis and straight. She started crying and left, We haven't spoken in a few days but I think I'm justified. I'm tired of living my life being told I'm something I'm not, I'm tired of seeing it happen to my brother too.

My brother later thanked me for standing up for him, Telling me it made him really upset when she said those things. To cheer him up we watched his favorite movies and I made him his favorite dinner (mom and dad both work day jobs so we both make lunch and dinner)

And for those who are gonna say that allies are apart of the LGBTQ I strongly believe the A is for aro/ace. Being an ally isn't a gender or sexuality

(unless people identify using ally/allyself of course or whatever it is, I'm not quite sure how neos work or whatever but I love to see how creative people get with it and am happy it gives people who don't identify with any of the normalized(? Idk the correct term but yknow the man woman and nb) genders a chance to be who they actually are)

Extra info on why I think I could be the asshole: I feel like we might've been able to explain it if we got her to shut up for a minute, But she kept talking over us. I feel like I went too far by insulting her, And I feel like I might be TA because she's also autistic (so is my brother though, And I have ADHD).

Why I think I'm NTA: My brother is really quiet and doesn't really defend himself often. He doesn't really know how to stand up for himself and is 'easy' to talk over (soft spoken, Quiet talking voice and nonconfrontational) which is why I believe I had to step in in his place, And I don't believe I did anything wrong defending my brother and making her stop calling him what hes not.

Anyways. AITA for yelling at our friend that my brother isn't trans?

To see later: PINK PANTHER

What are these acronyms?

AITA for ignoring my best friend?

I (M, in high school) am kind of a loser. So is my best friend (M, in high school) who we’ll call M. M and I have an awesome time playing video games and liking retro stuff together, but neither of us have ever really been cool, and I’ve always found myself getting targeted by bullies.

Recently, one of the bullies (M, high school) who we’ll call R, told me that I could be cool if I just took his advice and paid him. He told me about how he became cool with this weird pill thing. M thought it was a scam, but I really wanted to see. So I went to the mall and got this pill. I took it and started hearing this voice in my head telling me what to do.

This supercomputer in the pill has been telling my what to do and to get the girl I’ve always wanted, but it’s been pressuring me into leaving M. And I let popularity get to me and let it steer me clear from him. When I saw him last, he was mad at me for ignoring him. I ended up ditching him again so I could continue to get closer to being cool.

Was this right of me?

My cataloguing if shit I never noticed or forgot from season 1 of Stranger Things. I’m on episode 3 of my rewatch!

1.) I forgot Nancy heard Barb for a moment during the make out session

2.) forgot Barb screamed for Nancy as she died. Also I’m keeping my eye out to see if the show actually has the characters know she died in the pool because fanfic insists they know but I don’t remember that being confirmed to Steve or Nancy

3.) Karen Wheeler really is trying to be a good mom

4.) I forgot Joyce starts with all the lamps in the house

5.) I think the reason people fell in love with Steve, including myself, is despite being called a douchebag by other characters, I can’t think of a time he’s randomly doychey or a bully in this season

6.) hopper was like mostly mild mannered and charming at this point. Like obvious self destructive behaviors but idk he’s quieter than I remember him

7.) dog spotted again. Seriously how did I forget their damn dog????

8.) ‘staying one step ahead of the Russians’ got said as a quick line

9.) I forgot the super secret lab couldn’t be bothered to pull footage with rain for a night that rained. Like surely you could have edited like 5 minutes out of the actual night, right? It didn’t take El all night to enter a damn tunnel

10.) people talk about Steve being rich and he is but the Wheelers are definitely solidly middle class. Nancy has her own phone and her own tv in her room

11.) carol had a mark in her ankle that she thinks is frostbite even though the pool is heated

12.) I know he doesn’t have a personal dark room but I forgot he develops the stalker photos at school and a classmate sees them and is visibly uncomfortable

13.) aw Karen brought Joyce a casserole. I forgot about that

14.) oh yeah I forgot Hopper’s dating life is a dumpster fire

15.) I spy Terry Ives’ name

16.) Ok the key to holly smiling is Christmas lights and flashing lamps

17.) it would have been fucked up if holly had been eaten by the wall in the Byers house

18.) the breaking of the camera was excessive but I think a solid amount of people would vote JAH and NTA if it was a story posted on aita. I didn’t forget this. I just wanted to say this

19.) I think it’s funny how the Duffers made it so El can’t just remember her own trauma at random but rather has to be guided by very deliberate items. Coke commercial leads to coke can crushing, cat leads to cat memory, etc. like I don’t actually think we needed our hands held this much with her memories

20.) Forgot that hopper immediately suspects Brenner

21.) literally forgot how this season was paced and that we first get a good look at the monster in episode 3

22.) forgot the fake body is found this episode too

23.) I forgot that Mike gets home and just sobs into Karen’s arms while Nancy and barb’s parents sit in the living room

AITA FOR RUINING THINGS BETWEEN MY EX & THE GIRL HE CHEATED ON ME WITH?

WARNING: Very long

Let me start off by saying I (26F) and my ex (26M, who we will call Mark) had a toxic relationship. We both know this and tried to remain friends/friends with benefits even after everything that happened. I know, stupid on my part, but I was hopeful both of us could possibly change and work it out.

My ex and I were together for about 6 years. We got together right before graduating high school. He even moved states with me and my family since we couldn’t afford to remain in our home state. It was only a few months before we moved out on our own after moving states.

Mark has always been a flirt, but even at the worst parts of our relationship he never physically cheated. I had forgiven a lot of what he did, even though he would gaslight me as though it was my fault even when I asked for the bare minimum of honesty and to not flirt with the girls the way he was. (i.e. receiving nude photos, telling them he loves them, etc) I was stupid to stay, I know this.

That is until he gaslit and pressured me into trying out a polyamorous relationship, which at first he was being very honest and communicating. That is until he met this girl (20F, we’ll refer to her as Liz). He began being super sneaky and going to see her all the time after work. He would say he’s “going over to comfort her” because of Liz living with her mom and stepdad. According to them her stepdad would pray on her so she didn’t feel safe and he would be there for her. I told him I became increasingly uncomfortable with their friendship because my gut feeling told me something was wrong. I asked him to stop seeing her or to at least distance their friendship and that I wanted a closed relationship because my trust in him was fading along with my insecurities from past events was flaring up significantly. I even spoke to her about it and both said that “You’re being crazy, we’re just friends.” Fast forward a bit when one day Liz was hanging out at our house. I went to work and returned home that evening to find them in our game room that is attached to our bedroom, hooking up.

I completely lost it. I started to scream and I threw my shoes at him because I was devastated. Liz stood there after getting dressed, looking guilty. I was the one who ended up driving her home because I didn’t want him to get to sweet talk her on the ride home. She admitted that they had been doing things at her mother’s when Mark would visit her and that he told Liz that he was going to leave me.

We ended up breaking up and with the economy I couldn’t afford to just up and move out. My other mistake was building him up without building myself too. So we shared a car. I relied heavily on him, through out our relationship and even now. Mark and Liz got together, which is when everything became a lot worse. Mark moved to one of the spare rooms and I remained in the master so that I would have privacy and didn’t have to venture out of my room often. After about a month or so after them getting together, Mark bullied and gaslit me into allowing Liz to move in. I hated them both at this point, but they were making my life such a living hell I just rolled over and kept to myself.

That was until Mark wanted to be friends again. Unfortunately, I tried to be due to still harboring feelings for him and just being the stupid person I am that tries to fix anything she can. We stared getting a little close again and he would flirt with me. Liz never cared that he flirted with people because she did it too. However it escalated to him wanting to cheat on her with me. I told Liz and while she was mad she still forgave him. It ended up happening again where we got close and him wanting to cheat, to which he begged me not to say anything to Liz. I did so anyway. She broke up with him and left.

Liz ended up dating this other guy and rubbing Mark’s nose in it. However, Mark and Liz still talked via Snapchat all the time. Eventually Mark and I started to sleep together again (yes, stupid of me). Mark would never admit it to Liz, though. I honestly wish I knew what he told her about me because he’s always made me out to be the villain.

After Liz and her new boyfriend split up, her and Mark began to hang out a lot again. I would always ask him about it and he would tell me that they are “just friends. Liz doesn’t even like me like that anymore.” That is until I did find out they were sleeping together. I told Mark I was uncomfortable with her being at our house if that’s all she was there for because this is a woman he cheated on me with and left me for. I also expressed that I don’t sleep with people who are sleeping with other people because it makes me feel gross and I have an irrational fear of STDs so if he was going to do that then we needed to stop. Mark made it seems as though he and Liz had discussed it and set boundaries, saying “Me and Liz won’t work. We want different things out of life.” He would also talk about her like Liz was starting to get on his nerves or that he simply wasn’t interested in her anymore. This is where I get even dumber because I believed him. We continued to mess around, until I found out they were still messing around too. So I messaged her and asked her what was going on between the two of them since I couldn’t trust what he said.

Liz didn’t reply, instead she ran to Mark and who knows what she said. All I know is he texted me about not causing drama and telling me if I message her again that he would cut me off. Which probably would have been for the best, but being locked into my lease I couldn’t just up and leave nor should I have to abandon my home because of him. I’d even told him multiple times to get out and leave, but as his name is on the lease I couldn’t force him to leave either.

They stopped talking for a bit and stopped seeing each other until the events of yesterday. Liz came over to hang out while I was gone at work (thank you cameras) because Mark was on vacation and wanted company. I’d warned him that I don’t want them hooking up in the house and because we were sleeping together. He’d ignored all my texts, leaving them on delivered as he does when he’s with her. Eventually he did tell me they messed around and I got angry because he knew from what had happened before and had said he understood how it made me feel after the last time. Though, looks like he didn’t care as he repeated what caused the conflict between us and keeps doing so.

Anyway I was upset and told Mark to get her out of the house. He kept refusing and so I told him, then I will tell her everything as I knew he had been lying to her and feeding her whatever sweet words he had. I probably shouldn’t have done so, but I was running on anger and hurt feelings. So I hopped on the living room camera and used the talk feature to tell her that he’s been lying to her and messing around with me even when he’s telling her he wasn’t.

Liz ended up calling someone to come get her and leaving. Mark started telling me how awful I am, that me doing this is why he never thinks I’ll change and never hesitate to “rip his life apart”. He also commented on how she’s gone for good this time because she actually blocked him ending it with “thanks for running Liz off again.” Mark also told me now he has nothing.

So I know I’m probably the dumbest person on the planet, but Am I also The Asshole in this situation?

Note 1: He even tried to control who I was hooking up with or going on dates with while he was dating Liz. I only slept with 2 people in the span of a year of being single. One of which was a friend I trusted. I even cut this friend off later on when Mark said it made him uncomfortable since he knew the guy. Also I never have friends over unless they are here to help me with something or when my best female friend would come over during my suicidal episodes because of how Mark and Liz would treat me. Yet he has always fought for her to come over after they broke up, yet I was wrong for wanting friends over because my friends don’t like him for everything he has done. I also spent many nights drunk out of my mind to escape the pain as I have always been hopelessly in love with Mark and seeing him with someone else was devastating. Again I’m very stupid and tend to think with my heart over my head.

Note 2: Our lease ends at the end of next month. We ARE parting ways. I hate this is how it ends and wish things could have worked out.

Note 3: There is a TON to this story, but it would be even longer than this to get into detail.

AITA for not telling my son who his dad really is? (OOC this is my Monsters & Other Childish Things kid's mother)

Hi longtime lurker first time asker here! I (36F) have a son (13m) with my husband (69m) who is a very famous and controversial sci-fi author. We got together when I was 23 and he was 56 and had our kid very early into the relationship. I'm very happy being with him and love him dearly, but there's just one problem. My son doesn't know how he is and keeps asking me about him. I'm torn between telling and not telling him for many reasons some obviously stemming from motherly paranoia and some from scenarios that I've faced being open about my partner. I HAVE given him hints and gave him all the gifts my husband wanted our son to have. Including signed books of his, photos of him and his friends, personalized notes to our son, etc. For those of you wondering, no, my husband doesn't live with us but instead lives on the west coast in his own home. I've moved back to my home state to raise our son by myself to avoid controversy whilst our boy grows up. Anyways, onto my reasons.

I'm afraid that if I tell him he'll have a hard time making & keeping friends due to his father being a renowned authour in the sci-fi genre. While I like to think I'm very approachable and friendly to everyone I meet I know my husband isn't, and that might scare away any new potential friends for my son. While I'm sure my boy can hold his own ground it would be daunting for him to navigate his father's personality & fame trying to figure out which of his friends are genuine and which of those are fake.

Another reason I don't want to tell him is of how young I am compared to my husband. I'm the black sheep of the family for marrying him and having my son so young. My parents want nothing to do with us and I've been on the receiving end of "robbing the grave" comments (vice versa for my husband) from just about everyone who doesn't know us personally. It hurts me to not be comfortably open about the love of my life and I know if I tell my son it'll extend to him too. As those with kids have probably guessed being a young teen is rough, like REALLY rough, and knowing about his father might open him up to more bullying than he already faces at school.

I know other mothers are probably seeing this and can understand my pain & paranoia about my son. However I feel like I'm the asshole as he's really into my husband's books and has asked for some of his newer titles for Christmas & birthdays. It would be a shame for him to never know who his father is especially if he never gets to meet him before he passes. On the other hand I'm worried that if I tell him he's just going to have a harder time getting by socially in life. So Tumblr, AITA?

A few people liked it so here we are! The Lesbian Izuku AITA thread idea! Add your comments as if you were actually commenting on this post! Go NTA, YTA if you want- have fun!

Throwaway6908

AITA for not saying I’m Gay?

Hey so like English isn’t my first language sorry so hopefully this is okay! Using a throwaway cause some friends know my main! (And hoping that like NONE of them look here for a while)

So I (24F) have been in a relationship with my girlfriend (24F) since we were about 19. We met when we were 16 when for work experience I went to her country. We ran into each other and after we got lost spent a few days together. After which we traded numbers and worked on my English and her Japanese!

I’ve always known I was gay from a young age and my mother’s known to. When I told her I was dating my GF she was happy for me and that’s it. However I’ve never told really anyone I’m gay other then her and my GF. Without saying to much, I’ve been busy working to become a hero and that’s crazy so I never really like paid attention to dating and stuff in high school. I did get asked out but I turned people down to focus on being a hero. My GF and I only got together when she moved to Japan with her siblings for her job. I’m open about having a partner to the media (I am a hero) as well as to my friends. They have met her, while she along with her siblings live with me. We visit my mom and go out with friends together. She does work in a job where she travels fairly often so sometimes it is just me seeing them, but she is often with me.

But anyway, I went home to visit my mom during medical leave after being hurt during work. Nothing serious but I got told to take a week. While I’m visiting, my mom’s friend showed up. I’m not the most friendly with her, due to the fact her son is a piece of work who used to bully me but I was like hi and she was hi back.

Then we had this conversation:

Her: so, I haven’t seen your partner around.

Me: huh?

Her: well when did you two visit (mom)?

Me: like two weeks ago?

Her: what?! I didn’t see him! I just saw you with your roommate!

Me: what?

Mom: (Friend) were you spying on us!? (She lives three blocks away and unless she’s coming here to see Mom, she would never go down the street otherwise. I found out she purposely came down our street after hearing from mom I was visiting with my partner.)

Her: of course! I have never seen this partner of hers! Obviously he’s not serious if he’s never around! We all know she’s going to end up with (her son) anyway.

Me: WHAT?!

Mom: (Friend) WHAT THE HELL?!

Me: My partner WAS HERE because it is my (GF)

Her: what?

Then it like all comes out. Turns out she didn’t know I was gay, and she was convinced me and her kid would have a romance later in life. I was stunned and confused as hell because again- he used to bully me and frankly I stopped hanging around them long ago. But apparently he’s been making comments about me and how I’ll ‘realize my ‘boyfriend’ is bad news’. So I’m just like wow.

Of course then she’s like why didn’t he know and I’m like: I never told him but it should have been obvious!

Which then led into a lot of crap because it turns out NO ONE knew.

My friends were all surprised, my work was shocked, everyone but my mom was surprised!

Which then leads into my issues. My former bully is claiming I’m an AH for not telling them, a few of my friends are also saying I’m the AH for not saying anything and even people at work are to! My mom and some other friends are on my side but like… AITA?