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#ain’t quiz adorable tho
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My new years celebratory art with Qi Ring and Guzi going on a dumb little adventure together <3
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cannedapricot · 7 years
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Phantom Thief! Park Jihoon
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This is legit the whole reason I’m starting this blog sovdbiosb. Inspired by Detective Conan, Saint Tail and the Cat’s Eye because they’re nostalgic asf and I love them. Also, Jihoon in a white suit would be a pleasant sight.
rightrightight ok
phantom thief! jihoon works with phantom thief! park woojin
they go by the name “PS”
which everyone thinks means something deep af
PS actually stands for “Pink Sausage”
but no one needs to know
everyone also thinks that it’s just one person
but in this au everyone’s clueless so please let it slide
what do they steal?
they steal hearts
lol jk
the two steal “priceless” paintings, sculptures and all sorts of art resulting in the town calling them art thieves
but the only art the duo steals are the ones that don’t belong where they are
they also drop not so subtle hints at the police about the illegal item
for example, there was this one time when an owner of a museum put up a painting of the famous “Cafe Terrace at Night” by Vincent van Gogh, claiming that it was the original
he wanted more publicity for the museum
surprise, surprise
it was a fake
the citizens were clueless lmao
so off went the pink sausages
the museum and the fake painting was the headline on next morning’s newspaper
how the two know of the frauds you ask?
associate! jisung runs a coffee shop down the block and overhears everything
you would think that the police would let them be because they’re doing the right thing, bUT NO
speaking of the police
you are the daughter of a famous detective who has solved many crimes
you’ve grown up seeing your dad work and reading detective novels
you were like, “i wanna be a detective lmao how hard can it be”
its hard
especially when you use your dad’s high position and become a junior detective of some sorts
and get assigned to the PS case
ok that’s fine but,
yOU’VE BEEN ASSIGNED TO THIS BLOODY CASE SINCE THIRD YEAR OF JUNIOR HIGH BUT YOUR ASS HAS BEEN CHASING AFTER THIS DUMB THIEF FOR THREE YEARS TO NO AVAIL
BUT THE WORDS “GIVE UP” DON’T EXIST IN YOUR DICTIONARY
“technically you could just let it slide and half ass your work,, i mean,,, they’re not stealing anything just for the sake of it-”
SLAMS DESK
“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND JINYOUNG, STEALING IS STEALING AND THEY SHOULD FACE THE CONSEQUENCE FOR IT”
HUFFS AND WALKS AWAY
PS has been sending you calling cards on what, where and when they’ll be stealing something next
per your request of course
you kinda just screamed at one of the two one night while chasing them,
“heY, PS, YEAH YOU.”
HUFFS
“MAN, I’M NOT FIT ENOUGH STOP RUNN I N G”
“oK THAT’S IT IM STOPPING”
PS stopped to look at you in amusement
“I’M NOT LETTING YOU GO JUST BECAUSE IM NICE THOUGH,,,, NOT BECAUSE IM ABOUT TO DIE FROM SPRINTING” yeah, totally
“LOOK,,,, SINCE I’M SO NICE, CAN YOU AT LEAST NOTIFY ME WHEN YOU’RE GONNA STEAL SOMETHING NEXT??“
he left without answering you
you were dejected
but then a note came for you!!
yay!!!
not like it help a whole lot but,,,
back to the present,
so, you’re in your last year of high school
park jihoon and park woojin happen to go to the same school as you but you, for some reason, have never ran into either of them in your whole high school career
 you have but you’re oblivious af
 the two know you of course
they fucking notify you every fortnight about their heists how could they not know you
heck, everyone knows you
you’re that one detective who’s never solved a case
but because fate loves a good show, jihoon transfers to your chemistry class in the middle of year
you’re like
????
in the dab smack middle of the year??? what- how-
apparently, he somehow screwed up a experiment in physics and the teacher had enough lmao
wow what a great thief amirite
your class bursts into whispers as soon as he steps in the lab
you just,,,, sent an uninterested glace his way then buried your head in your arms and went back to sleep
 liSTEN,,,,, IT WASN’T YOUR FAULT THAT PS DECIDED TO WAIT UNTIL MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT TO SHOW UP
“ok guys, this is park jihoon, he’s a new addition to the class.”
“ohmygod he’s adorable”
“bless the heavens for some eye candy at last”
“look y/n it’s a cute dude why aren’t you reacting”
“fuck off, daehwi”
“alrighty jihoon you can sit next to bae jinyoung at the back over there. raise your hand jinyoung”
jihoon heads over to jinyoung and brushes past you on his way
you glance up as he does and you thought you saw him smirk? ?? ? ?
“how tired am i tf”
it’s not your imagination, jihoon recognizes you
“y/N I WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU PAYED ATTENTION TO CLASS”
“MR KIM YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND,,,,,, I’M TIRED”
“I DON’T CARE????? DO YOU WANT TO PASS OR NOT”
AGGRESSIVELY HUFFS
after the class, jihoon rushes up to you and asks for your chemistry notes
“hi! y/n is it? could i borrow your notes?”
“?? you couldn’t borrow baejin’s?? why me?”
“uh,,,, i couldn’t read his handwriting,,,,, yeah! that’s why!!”
sounds fake but ok
you end up surrendering your chemistry notes to him
“thanks y/n!! you’re a life saver!!”
runs off like the cutie he is
daehwi slides up to you with jinyoung in tow while wiggling his eyebrows
“jinyoung has really neat handwriting if you ask me”
“yeah well, you’re practically in love with him so you think everything about him is neat”
“i- you’re not wrong”
jihoon returns your book to you the next lesson and everything goes as per usual for the next two weeks
until the next calling card arrives with a bang
literally
you opened your book, expecting nothing to happen
but a fucking balloon went off above you or something the moment you opened it
and the calling card falls down with colored confetti onto your head
“i’ll be taking the sculpture from Jung’s house tonight -PS”
BITCHWHATTHEFUCK
normally, calling cards would arrive without much,,, pow
like in the mailbox
all the students around you were shook
as were you
jihoon was just,,,,,, hiding his grin
daehwi and jinyoung walk into the class, takes one look at you and goes,
“what happened to you”
“it looks like a unicorn pooped on you”
“thanks”
jihoon’s new hobby unlocked!
teasing y/n!
so from then on out, all the calling cards would arrive with a huge noise
you hated the attention you were getting along with it
people actually thought you worked with PS!!
ok but jihoon would have the time of his life planning
“should i just write jeojang on the school notice board and the details underneath?”
“.... jihoon, your dumb aegyo has nothing to do with our heist”
“fine,,, i’ll bake y/n a cake instead”
woojin just sighs
jihoon has actually gotten quite close with you recently
daehwi and jinyoung readily accepted him and woojin in your little squad and you guys would frequent jisung’s cafe after school iaubfisbfvis thATS ACTUALLY SO CUTE IM CRYING
jihoon’s favorite pastime was still teasing you though
like
you did worse that jihoon on that chemistry quiz?
you’re never gonna hear the end of it
you fell face first into mud?
jihoon still has video he recorded to this day
the five of you were really close and y’all thought you knew everything about each other
hahaha
nope
you still had no idea that woojin and jihoon were PS
ffs y/n
the people you’re basically obsessed with are right in front of you
actually, jihoon’s just as obsessed with you tbh
daehwi, jinyoung and woojin has caught him staring at you on multiple occasions
“uH,,,, I WAS,,,, STARING AT THE WINDOW NEXT TO Y/N HAHAH YEAH”
he likes you
all the teasing basically lead to this
it’s not that jihoon hasn’t realized
he knows
but he ain’t about to admit that
a thief liking a detective??? psssh how absurd
but in jihoon’s eyes, all you ever cared about was PS
was he jealous of himself? yes
you,,, kinda,,, sorta felt things towards jihoon as well
but you ain’t about to admit that either
likE WHENEVER HE DID THAT STUPID JEOJANG THING YOU WOULD RUN AWAY AND NOBODY KNOWS WHETHER IT’S OUT OF CRINGE OR YOU’RE JUST MELTING
so you two just stay in a relationship full of teasing
the whole school lowkey thinks you’re together tho
one night, you were standing in front of another “priceless” art
courtesy of jihoon’s card earlier in the day
“i’ll be taking the min’s painting tonight hehe~~<3 -PS”
oh how the cards have changed over time
remember when i said that everyone thinks that PS is one person
well, everyone included you up til tonight
you were just strolling around the painting by yourself
the cops were situated around the building
complete with two standing in front of the door to the room with the painting
the plan was for you to stay in front of the painting all night and if PS came, you would tackle that bitch and call for backup
then PS actually came and all hell broke loose
the cops were running around trying to catch him, forgetting what the initial plan was
but for some dumb reason, they forgot to notify you
resulting in you having no idea what was happening outside the room lol
until finally, some cop remembered notified you via handheld radio
“whAT THE FUCK DANIEL YOU NOTIFY ME NOW???”
“LOOK IM SORRY,,,, BUT PS IS STILL RUNNING AROUND THE HOUSE AND YOU NEED TO COME”
swearing under your breath, you decide to just sit and wait for PS to come into the room you were currently in
why run around if he was after the painting that you were right in front of
he’d have to come sooner or later
you then saw a shadow outside the window
white suite, white gloves and that familiar badge on his chest
no mistake, it had to be PS
and you rush to hide behind a corner
PS makes his way in and stands in front of the painting, seemingly admiring it
“it’s quite beautiful, such a shame that it was stolen”
iT WAS STOLEN????
THIS WAS THE NTH TIME YOU’VE GUARDED SOMETHING LIKE THIS
nonetheless, you act according to plan and lunge for him
but in a swift motion, he clutches the painting and avoids you
“whoops, watch your step” he says, chuckling
you let out a noise that resembled a growl at him and lunge yet again
but he was already out the door
you ran after him
picking up your handheld radio, you were about to call for backup when suddenly you meet with another person dressed in a white suit
but he didn’t have a painting in his hands
you stopped running, trying to figure out a sensible reason
the figure brushed past you and jumped out a window
then you receive exasperated message from cop! daniel stating that PS has gotten his hands on the painting and is now running away
not forgetting to question your whereabouts
you were now confused
you were 100% sure you saw PS run out with the painting
but then you ran into him without the painting the same time as daniel saw him with the painting
the thief got away that night but you called up your dad and told him that the painting was a fake
your dad whooshed over in record time
after doing his research your dad had found out that the painting had originally belonged to a woman in her 60s
the person you had met tonight before the case was a man in his 40s
your dad arrested him on the spot
you hardly slept that night
wondering about if PS was just one person, how could he be at two places in the same time
you concluded that PS was two people
spoiler, woojin was the distraction and jihoon was the person you saw take the painting
you tried to convince your coworkers the next day but they wouldn’t believe you
in fact, they had gotten more suspicious of you
you were the only person who wasn’t there during the chase
YOU WORK WITH A BUNCH OF IDIOTS
frustrated, you complained to jinyoung (who i forgot to mention, was a cop in training oops)
jinyoung believed you
he knew how hard you worked just to find out who this guy was
but he couldn’t do much to help
so he just comforted you
you were thankful for him (I’M SO SOFT IDBFUVIS)
with no one able to help you out, you decided to take matters inyour own hands
you were drained the next school day
jihoon felt bad for making you chase after him to no avail
so he did aegyo for you
it worked
sorta
woojin and jinyoung ended up dragging him out of class because of the second hand embarrassment though
daehwi just,,,,
cringed
really hard
you received another card three weeks later
“i’ll be after the “gem of the sea” necklace tonight. sorry for making you run all the time :c -PS”
???? is this thief apologizing???
anyways, this time, you were ready to find out who he was
it was a fool-proof plan
you see, you were familiar with this museum and knew it like the back of your hand
you were already starting to feel sad about ending the three year chase
that night, you were situated in front of the necklace
with a dozen cops because they didn’t trust you lmao
the necklace was a beautiful royal blue and you could understand why people loved it
it shone even in the moonlight
when the clock hit ten, all lights were cut off in the room and turned back on in a matter of seconds
but the necklace was gone in the mere seconds the light turned off
cops started to stream out the door of the display room, running everywhere trying to catch the thief
you were about to do the same
but daniel stopped you
“nuh uh kiddo, let me check your pockets first”
“ kang danIEL ARE YOU SUSPECTING THAT I TOOK IT?”
“yes”
so you were held back for a minute
you didn’t even give daniel time to apologize for suspecting you before you were out the door
cop! seongwoo announced that he saw PS in the left wing
but you head towards the right wing, knowing that there were two of them and the one seongwoo saw was likely a distraction
your suspicions were confirmed when you catch a glimpse of white
it was jihoon with the necklace
he was casually strolling towards the storage room where he would make his escape
jihoon had no idea you were after his ass
but as soon as he neared the window of the storage room, you appeared in the doorway
huffing because wow that was the quickest you had ever been
jihoon turned to you, the full moon shining through the full-length window behind him
it was a breathtaking sight
buT YOU COULDN’T SEE HIS FACE DAMMIT
“oh, it seems as though i’m cornered”
“yOU,,,,, DON’T PLAY WITH ME,,,, WHO ARE YOU”
“PS, obviously”
SCREAMS INTERNALLY
“NO SHIT”
he chuckled, pulling the necklace out of his pocket
“after this? it’s quite pretty isn’t it? almost as pretty as you are”
holy shit
is this thief
f l i r t i n g with you????
you blushed
but blamed it on the exercise lmao
“dON’T CHANGE THE SUBJECT-”
“it’s a shame that i can’t just steal you away”
PARK JIHOON YOU SMOOTH FUCKER
HE SAYS THIS NOW AS PS BECAUSE HE HASN’T GOT THE GUTS TO SAY IT NORMALLY AS PARK JIHOON
but jihoon then notices that he’s taking way too long and woojin would beat his ass if he took longer
looking down, he finds a couple of cops below, waiting to see of anyone tries make an escape
jihoon sighs, opting to escape another way
aka jumping across trees until he reaches jisungs mini van lmao
so as you jump for nth time at time
he brushes past you whispering in that deep ass voice,
“i’ll save you in my heart instead”
leaving you shook af
“why did that remind me of that stupid jeojang thing jihoon does?”
WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS
you think you have a little crush on PS (with his low pitch voice lmao)
but your heart also goes crazy around park jihoon (and his high pitched voice obvfisbv)
you’re just like,
“fuck”
“do i really like two guys at once”
it’s one dude
but you didn’t need to know that
this was long and kinda crappy but here’s my first au!! sorry there wasn’t much jihoon here aaaa
please give me some feedback on how it was,,,, 2.7k words is a lo t, should i try make my next one shorter?
please ignore any mistakes haha,,,, i’m really tired and don’t wanna proof read fsovbuiqoebvo
thank you all for reading my shit though <3333
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