Do you post dubs on yt? just wanted to ask bc never knew you had a Tumblr only saw theses (along with others on yt dub acc)

I don’t personally post dubs to YouTube, but I know many others do dub my work!

From what I saw, most if not all credit me, which is all I ask for if you’re gonna dub my work ^^ Though I eventually would like to post to YouTube myself, hopefully animations!

It’s Cute

Requested: Yes

Hiya! I’m not sure if my request will make much sense but a Diego x reader where the reader stumbles over her words a lot? & maybe Diego finding it cute because he gets the struggle? Maybe while they’re coming up w/ ways to stop the world from ending she’s tryna calm everyone down & ends up messing up all her words & muttering in Spanish/English? Thank you!✨

A/N: Okay, first of all I am so sorry for the long wait. It’s been a rough week/ week and a half. Second of all I’m sorry if it’s not up to your expectations my love! I will be more active and get writing going I swear, I didn’t realize how busy I was this summer!! I’m trying to get back into the headspace of writing! I did use google translate for the Spanish so I’m so sorry if it’s wrong!! Translations will be at the bottom of the post!(GIF not mine, credit to the creator!!) (P.S. Y’all can give me feedback if you’d like!)

As soon as you clocked out and grabbed your phone you realized you had a missed call from Diego. Actually you had three missed calls from him, which sent you into a slight panic. As you walked out of the shop doors you immediately called him back. He picked up and before he could get a single word out you were apologizing for not picking up the phone.

“Diego ohmygod I’m sosososo sorry I was at work and I had to stay over and I know you worry when I don’t pick up, but I’m okay and I’m off work is something wrong?” you said not even realizing your ramble was sliding all your words together to the point they were barely audible. A split second of silence followed by Diego's soft chuckling eased your nerves. 

“Sweetheart slow down, I’m fine I swear. I just wanted to see if you wanted to come with me to talk with my siblings. There’s some shit happening and I feel like it’d be good to have you in the know about all of it.” he said still chuckling to himself. You sighed in relief as you walked back to your apartment telling Diego about your morning shift.

When Diego picked you up you got to thinking. Diego had always told you about his family, but you had never really met them. They sounded interesting, well apart from his father. But from what you’ve gathered it seems like Reginalds death happened for a reason? You didn’t have much more time to think before you were walking into a really beautiful home. 

“Oh? You brought a friend? How lovely Diego.” a voice said. You turned your head to see a beautifully dressed woman come over smiling. She pulled you into a hug and introduced herself as Diego's mother. 

Eventually you were properly introduced to everyone, and then the conversation threw itself into chaos. The world was ending and there was only a matter of days to stop it. Everyone was trying to talk over each other and it wasn’t until you yelled that everyone went silent. 

“First of all, none of you are going to get shit done if you spend the whole time trying to fight each other. Second of all, for the love of god just calm down. Seriously, can everyone just take a few deep breaths?” you said trying to calm yourself down. Five had scoffed and proceeded to ramble on and you sighed.

You attempted to speak again but quickly shut up when you started to stumble over your words. “Maybe you guys just need a little break? I’m sure there’s a way to solve all of this shit and-and-” you were cut off by Klaus speaking up for once, “I’m with the new girl, lets just all take a deep breath. Maybe even meditate a bit, it sounds pretty nice.” he said smiling and giving you a thumbs up. You laughed softly, enjoying the brief break in the arguing. But that didn’t last long before it started back up again. 

“Aquí vamos de nuevo,” you muttered under your breath. Finally you spoke up again in a weak attempt to help. “You know theres-there’s-there’s just always an off chance by some miracle none of this happens and we all live. But the world still could end, and none of you have a pause button on this shit so ...so just stop arguing…” you trailed off before mumbling, “y me está poniendo de los nervios. Seriously you guys are adults.” causing Diego to give you a small smile. You never spoke in Spanish a lot, around your family was usually the only exception. Or if you happened to get really frustrated, especially when you’d start stumbling over your words as you spoke, you’d let a few phrases slip out. You were almost positive your face was red, you never slipped on your words like this often, especially in front of other people. 

Eventually the siblings stopped arguing and settled on a plan that you helped suggest. It just might work, but nobody was sure. As you left Diego chuckled to himself and you raised at brow at him as you got into his car.

“Wow, I have never seen you get that frustrated. Like.. ever in the entire time I’ve known you.” he said laughing. You huffed and rolled your eyes causing him to laugh even more. “On top of that, babe I have never heard you struggle that much with your words-” “Shut up.” “No no no! It’s cute really, and I understand completely really I do. Al menos tu español es decente.” 

“Decent? Really? Who dubbed you the language police hmm?” you asked reaching over to shove his shoulder. “Nobody, I’m just used to you only yelling in Spanish babe. That’s when I can barely understand it,” “Ohmygod whatever”

Aquí vamos de nuevo - Here we go again

y me está poniendo de los nervios. - And it’s getting on my nerves

Al menos tu español es decente - At least your Spanish is decent

[you have probably already seen the first half of this because I am dumb and I posted it without making sure it was saved in full. I apparently am REALLY bad at making Tumblr work. Not that I am surprised by that, but still.]

Hi, I know, long time no see, I’m still a tinhat-wearing garbage-can who has no idea how to properly use Tumblr and English still isn’t my first language so kindly forgive any mistakes, but I’ve been on a good omens lockdown for the past two months and unfortunately I have Big Thinky Thoughts

The point is- book!Aziraphale&Crowley are very different from TV!Aziraphale and Crowley. But not in the sense that they’re different characters: they are the very same characters you see in the book, it’s just… They act differently. I’ve spent the last fortnight turning in bed, asking myself WHAT made them feel so different from the book and WHY it was. And then it hit me: the TV show characters operate under a system of beliefs that the book characters have already overcome. This makes sense, because while the book characters to me feel more settled and “static”, in the same way two old dudes who are just waiting for retirement have already grown into their skin and mostly know who they are, TV!A&C feel a lot younger to me, and we have the pleasure of watching their character as they develop, as they become more and more aware of who they are and what they want. Because THAT ultimately is the point: neither of them is really, completely AWARE of the point they’ve “gone native” up until the last episode.

I think it’s way easier to see in Aziraphale: in the book, he doesn’t shy away from bad deeds, he seems to acknowledge his “”“moral greyness”“” and the fact that his loyalty to Crowley overrides his loyalty to heaven -and that this isn’t something he is supposed to do, but his loyalty to the Arrangement is way more profound than his acquiescence towards heaven. His identity is not just formed around the fact that he is an angel: that’s just part of it, and that’s what makes it easier for him to be aware of his “bit of a bastard”. It doesn’t come as a surprise, for him, just as the spark of goodness isn’t surprising for Crowley. It’s just something they avoided talking about because, well, if anyone else had heard them, it wouldn’t have ended well. (But we’ll come back to this later on.) TV!Aziraphale, instead, seems to base almost all of his identity (what he consciously decides it’s his identity) solely on the fact that he is an angel: he HAS to be good, he HAS to do what is right. All those things he does that he knows are frowned upon in Heaven are quickly discarded, considered outliers, because they cause such great cognitive dissonance he cannot bear it. At first, he seems to be starting to question the Great Plan, but around the time Crowley comes asking for the holy water¹, he seems to realise fully how dangerous everything they’re doing is, and sweeps all of his doubts under a big, heavy rug of denial. Because it’s either that, or being wiped off the face of the Earth (and the whole creation) or completely losing his identity by Falling (because he wouldn’t be an angel anymore, and he’s based on this facet of himself like 99% of his identity), which is A Huge Effing Deal, especially since it’s the narrative of himself he’s been building for almost six millennia. So, Aziraphale has put in place a system of beliefs which says: God created Angels. God is perfect, and since The Almighty created Angels to be good, they are good. Therefore, I am Good, and I cannot be anything else. Does this take into account that “Good” is a broad definition that changes with the point of view? Nope. It doesn’t take into account, either, the fact that Heaven and Hell are, in truth, just names for sides, and not that different at all. Another mistake Aziraphale does it’s an attributional error: he thinks that everything good he does it’s because he’s an angel, and therefore supposed to be good, and expects other angels to be like him, when often it’s really Aziraphale *as an individual* who does Good Deeds.

Belief systems aren’t inherently Bad: they give us fixed points² in the sea of change, and it’s vital for us to have them. Belief systems become Bad the moment they don't serve their purpose anymore: that is, when instead of being helpful, they hold you back from understanding, from exploring possibilities. And that's what happens to Aziraphale and, to some extent, Crowley: they both cling to their beliefs even tho they're shown time and time again that what they think it's wrong, and they choose to cling to them because the alternative is to float in the sea of the unknown.

It is only once Aziraphale confronts the falseness of his beliefs (the moment he faces the Angels and they tell him they won't prevent the Apocalypse) that he is able, once and for all, to eradicate his belief system and integrate in a new sense of Self all of those traits he usually denied about himself.

What about Crowley, then? His belief system looks a liiittle bit more grounded in reality... Except not really. While, yes, he seems less bound to Hell, and justly distrustful, he doesn't fare all that better. It's just more tricky to recognise, because it's more about Crowley himself than it is about heaven or hell.

Book!Crowley, since the beginning, is literally a very tired, very old, very uncool entity who is just waiting to retire from a job he hates to spend his time tending to his plants and doting on his adversary-slash-bestfriend-slash-husband. He is pretty much aware of the fact that, while he loves mischief, he doesn't like actively harming anyone, is really repulsed by the idea of hurting deeply someone. He knows this, and knows Aziraphale knows this. He just doesn't like stating it out in the open because he is a paranoid bastard afraid anyone will overhear them -and rightly so, I might add, because, as stated beforehand, there will be Consequences. When Aziraphale tells him he is, after all, nice, he's resigned, because being nice doesn't make being a demon very easy. But that trait is already stark clear in his Self-image, and he acts accordingly.

TV!Crowley, tho? The moment he is dubbed "nice" literally explodes in anger.

This is not about "telling the whole blessed world", this is about Crowley not having the faintest idea he has the spark of goodness inside himself. He has convinced himself that since he Fell, since he is a demon, he must be Bad. And this, imho, is reflected in the way he takes credit for the Really Bad Stuff humans have done, as well: he is trying so bad to uphold the image of a Big Bad Demon, he tries to rejoice when people do bad stuff, even though it's clear he doesn't like it one bit.

And that's because if his and Aziraphale's belief system have one thing in common, is their trust in God: if the Almighty cast him out of heaven, there must have been a reason, and that reason is that, deep down, he isn't good. Crowley's self image is built all around that, as much as his acts of kindness probably end up mislabeled as selfishness³. And that is because he cannot accept that his Fall, something that still plagues him after six millennia, that has left him with such a scar that his plants take the brunt of it, was just over "asking questions". The punishment doesn't fit the "crime", and it's difficult, if not impossible, for the human, or occult, or ethereal mind to accept that sometimes events so painful happen for no reason.

It's imperative, then, for the dismantling of his disfunctional belief system, that he confronts the truth: there is very little inherently Evil within himself. And that moment occurs when a desperate Crowley talks to God Herself (Themselves? I'm not sure if the Almighty uses they/them or she/her, sorry) and admits that the only wrong thing he did was asking questions. From then on, he slowly becomes able to face his own spark of goodness, to admit it in his own Self-image.

In conclusion: while it makes sense that the book characters had their moment of acknowledgement in the middle of the action, as it's a truth they already knew from the beginning and, since they were about to face Consequences anyway, they might as well voice it aloud, it is just as apt for the TV characters to say it at the very end of the story, because for them it's a starting point to the rest of their existences: they finally fully know who they are and what they want, and they will start the rest of the journey with that knowledge.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk, some of the swearing is censored not because I disapprove of it but because I don't want Tumblr to decide it shouldn't be posted in the tag and, as we've previously established, I'm really bad at this.

Footnotes and be thankful this is just the work of an evening of procrastination because I'm known for "making metas that require a bibliography" but I didn't have the time to check my social psy books

1: I might expand on this someday, but I actually have Thoughts on the whole "Aziraphale Being An Heaven-Abiding Angel" thing, and how it heavily relates to Crowley and Aziraphale's dynamic; the holy water break-up in the 19th century seemed a good milestone for the moment

2. Yes, I was thinking of the whole "fixed point in a changing age" thing from His last bow, and yes, my eyes got misty while writing it and I don't have any allergies to blame it onto. My brain is an attic and it's full of ACD Canon quotes and by this point I couldn't get rid of them if I wanted to.

3. This is heavy tinhatting but I honestly feel like he often tries to pass off his kindness as "I like this and I want this so I have to do something". The clearest example is: he feels that the whole world shouldn't be destroyed because it's unfair? Surely it's just because he likes living here, not because he cares, pfffftttttt

*saunters vaguely back to studying*

Nerdy’s Long Overdue MCU Canon Rewrite / Complete Timeline Verse by Verse

Okay so if you’ve been following me long enough, you’d know that my various verses are essentially Frankenstein’ing of various movies and shows and games. They’ve always felt a bit disjointed and wobbly and that’s because I never really comitted to having my own canon proper I always tried to keep it MCU-focused while also having my cake and eating it too lmfao. WELL NOT ANYMORE. Time to bend the MCU canon to my will. 

So there is a LOT to get through so I’ll be categorizing it all based on Peter’s school years. Also no specific mentions on relationships and other characters unless it is necessary to the Narrative, because a lot of that tends to be extremely thread and partner based, and I don’t want to box people in by ‘canonizing’ what their character does in my timeline, you know?

ANYWAY ON WITH THE SHOW:

Personals do not reblog I’m just forewarning you

HIGH SCHOOL:

Freshman Year

-DECEMBER OF 2015 -Gains his powers after being bitten by a radioactive spider during a class trip to Doctor Curt Connors’ lab in Empire State University. -Spends the Christmas Break discovering and learning about his abilities, makes his First Suit out of some old pajamas.

-JANUARY 2016

-Being a kid and wanting to make a quick buck with his abilities, he enters a wrestling competition against Crusher Hogan.

-It’s the classic wrestling origin. Peter gets swindled out of money, a burglar steals money from the fight manager, Peter lets the Burglar go out of anger and spite for the manager. -Uncle Ben is murdered, Peter goes after the assailant and is horrified to discover it is the same Burglar he had let go earlier.  -When you do the things that I can, but you don’t, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you. -Guilt stricken, he realizes the importance of Power and Responsibility and starts to fight crime, initially stopping small crimes, petty robberies, etc. 

MARCH TO JUNE 2016:

-Rumors of an Insectoid-Man spread quickly throughout the underworld, it is initially believed to be a Lie made by crooks who want to dodge blame, but more and more YouTube videos of a man in a red and blue pajamas doing extraordinary feats quickly kills that possibility. -At the recommendation of his teachers, Peter starts interning at Connors’ Lab in ESU, it allows him to get a closer look at the kind of spiders that bit him, and leads him to discover that the irradiated spiders are a project Connors is working on under the funding of Oscorp. -During his crime fighting, he unknowingly halts several of The Big Man’s jobs.  -Frequently swings into and stops the crimes of Alex O’Hirn and Flint Marko. -He runs into his first Out of the Ordinary Bad Guy when he ends up fighting Stilt-Man, instead of going for his legs he just punches him out cold.

CIVIL WAR INCIDENT - JUNE 26TH 2016

This is where the first of the several big canon rewrites comes in. For starters, the Airport Fight happens in New York instead of Germany, and Tony does not recruit Peter for his cause or give him the new suit. What happens is as follows,

-Peter sees the news of The Winter Soldier’s attack on United Nations. ( For the purposes of this rewrite, let’s say Bucky gets extradited to the U.S. for interrogation and trial and he is held in the same SHIELD base Steve woke up from his coma or whatever ) -Peter and Ned argue about Spider-Man not going for Stilt-Man’s legs during their fight. -Hearing the news of JFK suddenly closing down and rumors of people spotting ‘Very Serious Government People’ , Peter puts the two and two together and leaves abruptly, heading to the Airport in hopes of ‘Auditioning’ for the Avengers, because that’s what you do when you are a 15 year old with superpowers. -Beginning of the airport fight and Steve and Tony’s argument happens the same, majority of the fight happens the same way. -Peter, as Spider-Man, jumps into the fray during the Line Up. He immediately swings to Tony’s side because Iron Man is the hero he idolizes the most at that point in time. -Tony and Peter banter, with Tony not wanting a kid there and Peter being a dumbass kid and wanting to impress Tony. -Peter does not fight Steve, he is only there to take down Bucky and Prove His Mettle as a superhero. -The entire sequence with Bucky and Sam versus Spidey happens as shown.  -Seeing Giant-Man appear and grumbling himself about the whole Stilt-Man argument still, Peter realizes he can go for Scott’s legs to take him down and does the whole AT-AT takedown move. -Gets knocked back onto the ground like in the movie, Tony goes to check on him to make sure this dumbass kid didn’t get himself killed, seeing he is alive and well, Tony is impressed but he tells Peter to go home. -Bedroom scene occurs as a post-credits scene, it becomes less about Tony recruiting Peter to his side and more about figuring out what the deal with this Spider-Man Kid is, leaves the suitcase with the Stark Suit as he leaves, says they’ll be in touch. 

HOMECOMING - END OF AUGUST - SEPTEMBER 23RD 2016 / SOPHOMORE YEAR

-Peter turns sixteen in August 10th. -The movie happens largely the same -a Film by Peter Parker and the Limo Conversation naturally doesn’t happen considering the afromentioned changes to Civil War.  -Tony does not save Peter from drowning, Peter gets out of the lake on his own.      Reason for this change is that this scene makes Tony way controlling and uncaring towards Peter? Which, compounded by the following scenes, really paints Tony in an awful light. It also makes it more impactful that the next time, and thus the first time, Peter properly interacts with Tony since Civil War is in the direct aftermath of the Ferry Fiasco when Tony comes to collect the suit. They are then both valid in their arguments in that Peter has let the Stark Suit’s abilities get to his head and act way reckless than he should, ( Stark Suit thus serving the same narrative purpose as the Symbiote Suit ) but it also makes Peter valid in that Tony has been completely ignoring Peter ( at least on the surface / from Peter’s point of view ) until it was too late. -Rest of the movie unfolds as shown. -Toomes is Peter’s first proper Super Villain. 

OCTOBER 2016 - MAY 2017

-Toomes’ arrest causes his Alien Weapons empire to fracture and for alien tech to be more readily available to the highest bidder ( In the movie it seems like Toomes really wanted the sales to be more gradual and under the radar ) -Shocker breaks away from Toomes’ crew and ends up joining the Enforcers, working for Hammerhead, who works as the Right Hand Man for The Big Man. -Spidey’s encounters with the Enforcers leads Peter to learn about the existence of The Big Man. -Phineas Mason is still at large, Peter dubs him ‘ The Tinkerer behind Toomes ’ toys ’ because he does not directly know who he is but highly suspects his existence.  -A Mysterious Benefactor starts bankrolling experiments for Super Mercs, armed with the alien tech, with the, initial, goal of ‘distracting’ Spider-Man from the Finer details of The Big Man’s organization (if he’s too busy fighting Super Villains, he’d be too busy to stop Illegal Shipments ya kno). -Alex O’Hirn undergoes the procedure to become the Rhino, having the experimental alien armor fused to his skin, and only able to perspirate through his face. It is due to this fact Peter manages to take him down the first time, ‘ overheating ’ him to get him to pass out. -During this incident, Spidey gets Rhino to spill the identity of the Big Man, one L. Thompson Lincoln, aka Tombstone. -It is also during this time Spidey has his first run-in with Captain George Stacy. -He goes to visit Tombstone to tell him he knows about him, promptly gets his ass kicked and high-thwips it out of there.

THANOS INCIDENT - MAY 2017

Welcome to the Big Canon Rewrite Number Two, here, Peter does not go to Titan. First part of his appearance happens as shown, with Peter seeing the giant Q ship up in the sky and sneaking out of the bus to help Tony and co. fight the Aliens, but after losing Strange to the ship’s tractor beam, he stays on Earth and helps with the clean-up in the aftermath. Maybe even bumping into a few Defenders while doing so wink wink nudge. As a result, he does not get the Iron Spider-Man suit, sorry Marvel’s toy department. 

ENDGAME - DATE UNKNOWN

Okay here’s the deal, it literally does not matter how long it has been since they’ve been blipped. Literally anyone important to a plot has been Conveniently Snapped, only reason there is a five year jump is so they can age Cassie so she can become Stature in Ant Man 3, and have Tony have a family for the Drama of it. Literally that’s the only reason, there is a reason why Far From Home makes a joke out of it. So for the purposes of sanity, let’s just say they were snapped throughout the duration of the summer and they conveniently get brought back at the beginning of the school year.  -This means Peter is a part of the Final Fight but in his Stark Suit instead of the Iron Spidey suit, he also does not activate Instant Kill (why the FUCK would he, Russos!!!!!) I don’t care either way about the hug, so that’s up in the air, but he definitely does not cling onto Tony’s body lmfao nah. It is nevertheless very upsetting and near-traumatic for him to see someone die in front of him (again!)

JUNIOR YEAR

SEPTEMBER - DECEMBER 2017

-Peter is now seventeen. -And he’s got PTSD like a motherfucker lmfao. -Getting turned into dust and coming back has everyone rattled, so the Criminal Underworld is working overtime. - Captain Stacy comes to Midtown to teach about Criminology, and also to keep an eye on his kid considering the circumstances. -Silvio ‘Silvermane’ Manfredi, head of the Maggia, is also due to be released on parole by the end of the year, so various Mob factions are trying to prepare themselves. -As a result, schematics to make more Rhino-like people hit the market, Spidey and O’Hirn actually end up teaming-up together to destroy the schematics, resulting in a three way fight between them, Hammerhead, and the Manfredi mob.  -Hammerhead’s recent repeated failures shakes Tombstone’s faith in him. -The Enforcers get fancy schmancy Combat Enhancement Suits, courtesy of The Tinkerer, and Spidey has to deal with them. -Hammerhead stops the Enforcers’ getaway attempt in secret, signaling a rift between him and Tombstone.  -Manfredi is released right before Christmas.

JANUARY 2018

-The Gang War(tm) begins in full force. -Spidey’s hands are full navigating the powder keg of a situation, with Tombstone and Manfredi vying for control, with Hammerhead planning something behind the scenes. 

FEBRUARY 14TH 2018 -Hammerhead arranges a meeting of the factions in Metropolitan Opera House, without Tombstone’s knowledge. -Once revealed, Tombstone does not take kindly to this disobedience. -Hammerhead reaches his breaking point and attacks Tombstone. -Silvermane decides to take both of them out to eliminate the competition fully.  -Silvermane, in a mechanical combat suit of his own (because comics bebey) attacks Tombstone and Hammerhead, resulting in a three way fight. -Spidey arrives and has to fight the three of them.  -After a long and exhausting battle, Spidey prevails, Silvermane is arrested once again, L. Thompson Lincoln is publicly revealed to be The Big Man of Crime, and Hammerhead is nowhere to be found. -Tombstone posts bail, but Captain Stacy tells Spidey that his crime empire is crippled and there is a power vacuum. One that a certain Wilson Fisk will take advantage of soon.

LATE FEBRUARY - JUNE 2018

-Spidey is basically doing clean-up duty in the aftermath of the Gang War(tm) -He is trying to find where Hammerhead is, but comes up empty. -All Spidey can find are the rumors that he went back to his old employment under the Maggia. -He takes down last of the known Manfredi fronts before preparing for his Europe trip (it’s the restaurant fight from the FFH trailers)

FAR FROM HOME - JUNE 2018 -Happens largely the way it is depicted in the movie -He does not have the Iron Spider Suit still, in case you forgot. -Smaller differences being Peter being pegged the ‘New Iron Man’ less because of his ‘Mentorship’ under Tony and more because people are just fucking desperate for a new Big Hero, which is where Mysterio comes in.  -He sees Ben’s grave instead of Tony’s during the Mysterio Fun Tour of Trauma, Zombie Iron Man still comes out of it tho because Symbolism ( not because Tony is a new Uncle Ben figure, but because it represents Peter not always being able to save everyone, even though Tony’s condition was out of his hands.) -BIGGEST DIVERGENCE: Unless plotted, I generally DO NOT recognize Peter’s identity being outed. There are two options / variations I could go with                     -Peter IS claimed to be Spider-Man, but after a Movie’s worth of adventures, he enlists the help of either a skrull or Chameleon (Dmitri the Bus Driver in FFH) to have Spidey appear in the same room as Peter and re-establishes his secret identity.                     -Mysterio just brands Spider-Man as a menace and that’s that.  In any case, this leads to..

-This in-between point is where the main verse is currently set.

SENIOR YEAR

SEPTEMBER - DECEMBER 2018

-Peter turns eighteen. -Branded as a menace, Spider-Man is now disliked and hunted by most authorities. -Captain Stacy, however, does not believe Mysterio and is one of Spidey’s few friends still left in the police force.  -He also makes numerous remarks towards Peter and Spider-Man that suggests he figured out his secret identity on his own.  -Anastasia Kravinoff arrives in New York with the intention of Hunting Spider-Man.  -At the same time, Mac Gargan is hired by The Mysterious Benefactor to undergo the Super Merc procedure to hunt Spider-Man.  -Kraven has her first encounter with Spidey, in which she manages to tear off a piece of his suit that she later uses to track his scent.  -Mr Harrington’s class trip to Bronx Zoo is promptly ruined when Kraven shows up tracking Spidey’s trail.  -The publicized skirmish in the Zoo attracts the attention of Gargan, now in a mechanical suit with a long, poison-tipped tail, stylized after Gargan’s favorite arthropod, which easily earns him the nickname ‘Scorpion’. -Spidey manages to escape, but barely.  -It all comes to a head in New York Botanical Garden is a totally epic final showdown. -Maybe Rhino gets involved too and it’s a full on Survival of the Fittest in the jungle. -Peter gets stung by the poison tail but manages to shake it off. -He gets speared in the thigh at least once during the battle. -Scorpion and Rhino get imprisoned in the Vault, Kravinoff gets arrested as well but she posts bail and gets out scot free because she’s got Powerful Connections(tm) 

JANUARY - MAY 2019

-Doctor Connors achieves a breakthrough on his Cross-Species formula -He tests it on himself, and initially achieves great results by regrowing his arm. -Over the following weeks, however, more and more side effects start to show by patches of green scales on his skin, increased aggression and hostility and occasional lapses in intelligence. -Around March, he has his first Lizard transformation. -Peter suspects it’s Connors, but he does not figure it out until April.  -With each transformation, Connors stays as Lizard longer and longer. -I am basically ripping off the plot of the first TASM movie. -Peter and Gwen manage to synthesize an antidote.  -Connors has a similar goal as to his movie counterpart, but he decides to Unleash the Lizard virus on top of Empire State Building. Because a) King Kong reference with Lizard climbing the antenna, and b) Connor going from Empire State University to Empire State Building, it’s a fun progression.  -Spidey and Lizard fight on top of Empire State, with George Stacy coming to Spidey’s aid. -Spidey manages to administer the antidote to the Lizard, reverting him back to Connors who retains no memories of his actions as the Lizard. -Stacy gets injured by Lizard and before succumbing to his injuries, tells Peter to keep Gwen safe and ‘out of it’.  -Lizard’s true identity remains unknown to the public, but Connors decides to relocate his family to Florida to get away from the noise of the city. Before leaving, he tells Peter to seek out his old colleague Otto Octavius if he wants to further his studies. 

END OF MAY 2019

-Peter Parker graduates Midtown School of Science and Technology.  -He applies and is accepted by Empire State University. Peter does not consider any other college as he wants to stay in New York for obvious reasons.

FRESHMAN UNDERGRAD

SEPTEMBER - DECEMBER 2019

-Peter is nineteen. -He starts his studies in ESU -He is still not the Most Popular -Peter reconnects with Harry Osborn (they are Old Childhood friends and Harry used to be in Midtown for the first year but then he went to Europe, as you do.) -Spidey is still branded as a menace and hunted, though not as ferociously as before as the public’s opinion starts to turn positive ever so slowly. -The Mysterious Benefactor has Alistair Smythe build robotic spiders to hunt and slay the Spider. Like Spider Slayers. Catchy name huh.  -Peter has various encounters with Slayers while trying to figure out who is behind them -He eventually discovers it’s Alistair Smythe and tracks him to Oscorp. -Smythe unleashes the Ultimate Spider-Slayer, The Black Widow to try and stop Spidey once and for all. -Fight spills to the power plant, an Oscorp employee who is currently working on the plant, Max Dillon, gets caught in the crossfire and gets electrocuted. -Spidey manages to take down Smythe, Dillon is hospitalized. -Norman Osborn publicly denounces and distances himself from Smythe ( he’s The Mysterious Benefactor if you haven’t caught on yet ) -Norman profits both from making Super Mercs and Spider-Hunters for various factions behind the scenes, and for building housing units to hold said Super Mercs and Spider-Hunters, Vault is his creation. -He is also a terrible dad, but he does genuinely care for Harry, go figure. -Harry starts taking Gloublin Green, an experimental enhancer, to boost his academic and athletic life, as his body is regularly failing due to a hereditary disease (NOT the Goblin disease, the one Harry’s mom had in the PS4 game)  -Max spends Christmas in the hospital and gradually transforms into Electro. -Black Cat drops in to give her Christmas Greetings by saying the mob is salvaging the parts from Spider-Slayer fights to re-arm themselves, also notifies him to the existence of a new Big Man consolidating power. -Peter thinks it’s Hammerhead, the only loose end from the previous Gang War, and starts his investigation into him. -Peter discovers Hammerhead leads the Maggia now, having quickly climbed through the ranks after the fallout of the last Gang War.

JANUARY - MAY 2020

-Harry joins the ESU football team, his performance enhanced by The Green. -Electro is Born and he’s Angry -He blames Smythe for his condition and tries to attack Oscorp, not knowing that Smythe is imprisoned. -Spidey arrives and fights him, fight eventually spilling to Times Square -Is it obvious I’ve started ripping off TASM 2 yet or.... -Electro is arrested and sent to Ravencroft for rehabilitation. -The news of a new Big Man starts making the rounds. -Harry’s Green Juicing gets bad, he starts blacking out.

SOPHOMORE UNDERGRAD

SEPTEMBER - DECEMBER 2020

-Peter is twenty. -He starts interning for Otto Octavius after Doctor Connors’ suggestion. -Flint Marko returns after a long absence in the streets, Spidey learns that Marko left the life of crime when he fell in love and got married, but returned back into it once he learned his baby was born with a disease and he needed the money for surgery. -Bet you didn’t expect me to rip off Raimi in this. -Marko is offered money to undergo a Super Merc experiment of his own, inspired by the Elementals Mysterio faked back a few years ago. Experiment uses bio-electricity generated by Electro, but it goes ‘wrong’ and Marko is turned to dust. -Sike he can control it, he’s Sandman now.  -Spidey and Sandman fight, once Peter learns of his motives, he tries to get him to stop. -Marko is told to stop the movement of an oil tanker so the new Big Man can siphon it dry. -Spidey and Marko fight on the tanker, tanker explodes, Marko expresses remorse for he only wanted the money and not to hurt anyone, so he helps usher the ship crew to safety and contains the explosion, turning into glass due to the heat.  -Sandman is presumed deceased, but he survived and just blew away gently in the wind. -Maybe he’s out there somewhere who knows. 

JANUARY - MAY 2021 -Norman discovers Harry’s Green Usage, he gets Harry to stop. -Stupid boy drinking the Green instead of inhaling it like his dad did I mean what -Harry discovers the Green exacerbated the progression of his illness. -Spidey meets Yuri Watanabe, who is the lead detective and later Captain who is after the Big Man and the Mob. -Peter discovers the identity of the actual new Big Man, it’s Wilson Fisk, quickly filling the power vacuum after Tombstone’s defeat. -Spidey and Fisk fight, with Fisk seriously injuring Spidey and him having to swing away.

JUNIOR UNDERGRAD

September - December 2021

-Peter is twenty one. -As Harry’s illness progresses more and more, he and Peter’s friendship is strained, Peter is unaware of the illness.   -Norman starts winding down Super Merc experiments as he turns his focus into curing Harry.  -He also readies for a mayoral run because he’s nothing if not a multitasker. -Harry wonders if Spider-Man’s abilities can cure him, wants a bit of his blood, Spidey is like ‘ew no wtf’ -Great Harry hates Spidey now. -Desperate, Harry springs Electro out of Ravencroft to sic him on Spidey and make him bleed. -Electro is like ‘Sure’ but once freed, he immediately goes to the Vault to try and kill Smythe. -You just can’t trust bio-electrical beings nowadays. -Spidey fights Electro in the Vault. -Electro cuts the power to the Vault and releases a bunch of inmates, but Spidey stops him before he can cut the power that holds the more super powered inmates.  -Electro is imprisoned in the Vault. 

MARCH - MAY 2020 -Yeah Peter had a quiet winter for once can you believe it. -Norman is elected mayor of New York, using his role in the building of the Vault to boost his approval ratings, motherfucker was playing the Long Game. -Norman revives his old genetic experiments to find a cure for Harry. -Devil’s Breath experiment is resurrected. -Harry’s condition worsens, Norman decides to send him to ‘Europe’ to heal.  -In truth, Harry is in Oscorp in ‘stasis’. -Spidey’s attention turns yet again to the rising gang activity, he channels his focus into taking down Fisk. 

SENIOR UNDERGRAD

SEPTEMBER 2020 - MAY 2021

-Pete turns twenty two. -He spends most of the year working on his thesis like a good nerd. -Spidey is occasionally tipped toward Fisk fronts by a Mysterious Goblinafactor -Norman wanted to bust into the Crime Scene being the Goblin and taking over the Big Man’s turfs but Fisk beat him to it so he has to be content with just being the Mayor for the time being -Goblins am I right. -He’s also the one who supplied Silvermane with his own armor. -Also the one who maaaay have broadened the rift between Hammerhead and Tombstone by sabotaging Hammerhead’s plans behind the scenes. -He is the Big Man behind the Big Men if you will. -Anyway back to Peter -Turns in his thesis, graduates ESU. Strength of his thesis is what convinces Otto to have Peter also come into work with him in the Brand New Octavius Industries. -Norman is content to just play the Mayor and let Fisk be as Spidey and Yuri gather more and more evidence. 

POST-GRAD / INSOMNIAC’S SPIDEY STUFF  -Events of the game happen broadly the same -Fisk is taken down, Mister Negative enters the scene, Devil’s Breath Incident happens and Spidey gets his ass thoroughly kicked by Sable, etc. etc. -Otto turns into Ock.  -Ock facilitates the Vault Breakdown (MCU got a Raft up and running and it ain’t in NYC sooo, Vault it is) and forms the Sinister Six. -However instead of Vulture being part of the Sinister Six, it’s Kraven. She’s back for a proper rematch.  -Unless plotted, May does not die from exposure to the virus, she just gets really messed up and hospitalized, but she gets cured later. -Events of the DLC happen largely as shown as well, Hammerhead techs himself up, Yuri goes Wraith, Sable kicks Spidey’s ass again but also grows a Heart. Aw.  -Osborn resigns in disgrace, but as luck would have it, Fisk and Li’s arrest leaves a nice Goblin-shaped hole in the criminal underworld for Gosborn to fill. -Norman discovers Harry’s ‘cure’ is sorta sentient.

WILL GORMAN GOSBORN FINALLY FACE OFF WITH SPIDER MAN? WILL SPIDEY LEARN THE REAL MASTERMIND BEHIND EVERYTHING? WILL HARRY GET GOOPED? WILL PETER FINALLY DISCOVER WHY KIDS LOVE THE TASTE OF CAP’N CRUNCH?

ALL THAT AND MORE, NEXT TIME ON, THE SPECTACULAR ADVENTURES OF THE AMAZING SPIDER MAN! 

After that song ends and Corey Taylor gets a glimpse of something we’ll come back to later, we then cut to “young Corey Taylor” getting smacked and sassed by... Rob Scallon as the teacher? Yeah, Doug not only got Corey Taylor and his son Griff for this, he also brought in another musician. At least he got to contribute more to the music in this “review” than Corey Taylor did. Apparently he’s dating Tamara Chambers and that’s how he got involved with this (which makes the fact that Tamara’s here as one of his “students”... awkward at best), but judging by how desperately he’s tried to erase any mention of his involvement with this after the severe backlash it got, I’m guessing that he now regrets this. Anyway, hello, other Doug Walker regular Malcolm Ray. I have no clue who the other two “students” are, but I can only guess that they’re other regulars for Doug’s stuff. (Edit from the future: I think the other guy’s name is Walter? I know nothing about him except he works for Doug and I guess he likes Power Rangers.) All of them have high-pitched dubbed-in voices (I guess to make them sound younger in a “funny” way), and it’s really grating. Like... If you’ve read through my liveblogs about Sonic X, then you remember how I hated it whenever Bokkun said literally anything, right? Well it’s not quite as bad as him as far as the pitch goes, but it is just as annoying, if not even more so because there’s multiple people with high-pitched voices and the lyrics they get to sing in this part aren’t just annoying, they’re insulting.

Oh yeah, did I mention they sing for this next parody song?

If you know the album or the movie, you're probably already dreading this, and it's just as bad as you fear, maybe even worse. Yes, we’re at what’s probably the most popular song from The Wall: the BAFTA award-winning “Another Brick in the Wall (Part 2)”. If you don’t know, that song is preceded by “The Happiest Days of Our Lives”, which is so connected with it that most of the time it’s considered part of “Another Brick in the Wall (Part 2)” itself, as I’ve always heard it credited as part of that song on the radio. Doug does seem to know the difference though, as he notably does not parody the lyrics from “The Happiest Days of Our Lives”, which to me is a problem: that part is integral to knowing the story behind the song that follows it because it’s the part that talks about how the children in the school were abused by their teachers. Again, since Roger Waters based a lot of this off his own life and he grew up in a time where the teachers were legally allowed to physically and emotionally abuse their students, it’s pretty obvious that’s what the song’s about. Even without including “The Happiest Days of Our Lives”, Doug still parodied the scene where the teacher was humiliating young Pink in front of the entire class, reading his poems aloud and calling them “absolute rubbish” (though for this “review” it’s the teacher insulting Taylor’s musical taste in Pink Floyd, which is still shitty and psychologically damaging, and really upsets me as an autistic person who’s had their interests mocked multiple times). Despite all this, Doug claims Waters is just being a crybaby and exaggerating how bad his school life was when the abuse he suffered and the damage it caused him was real and very serious. You can say what you want about Waters’s ego, Doug, but making fun of someone for being abused, especially as a child, is a line that you should never cross.

It seems like Doug’s not satisfied enough with mocking what Roger Waters was talking about regarding his school life, though, because he goes as far as to mock all people who complain about school, dismissing detailed dissections of what’s wrong with today’s education system as “long-winded rants”. I’m convinced he didn’t actually read these “rants” he’s mocking, because there are serious problems with our education system. I could go into all the shitty things that I personally had to go through as an autistic kid, but you can find plenty of better, more detailed posts and articles talking about how fucked up America’s education system is today, to say nothing of what England’s school system was like in the 50′s (you know, the time period and experience Waters was clearly talking about with this), and this post is already long enough before I can even properly rip into this dreadful parody.

As the turd on top of this shit sundae, Doug Walker does a Dracula impression for part of the song because he’s saying that Roger Waters is calling all teachers “monsters” (yes, that’s literally the only reason). More specifically, it’s the Dracula played by Adam Sandler in the Hotel Transylvania franchise, where Sandler was already doing a weak impression of Bela Lugosi. Basically Doug’s doing an annoying, shitty impression of an already annoying, shitty impression.

Kill me.

[Lyrics (and snark) below the cut]

NC: We need more victimization (There are no good teachers! Not one! Not even by accident!) We need more stuff to rebel

[I know some people will complain about literally anything, but did you actually pay attention to what the album and film were saying? That teachers who abuse their students and try to quash their creativity and individuality is bad, something that Waters himself has clarified in interviews regarding the very song you’re parodying here? Do you not agree with that?]

(We don’t want to help you! We just want to eat your blood and suck your brains!) Though our education system’s broke (Wait, maybe it’s the other way around. I don’t know, I got a high school education! Muahahahaha!) This is pandering like hell

[You reviewed Norm of the North, Boss Baby, and the Emoji Movie despite none of those having ties to anything nostalgic (you even admitted as much in your review of the former), which was the entire point of the Nostalgia Critic. If that's not you pandering to your fanbase who just likes hearing you yell about bad movies, then I don’t know what is.]

(Remember that one teacher who seemed cool? He wasn’t! He was all part of the plan!) Hey! Who cares? All this bitching sells!

[Clearly it does considering your whole internet career is founded on that.]

(Remember that one teacher who seemed really kind and gave you candy?) Well oh well, we’ve got another hit in The Wall (That candy was really sugar-coated children's’ souls!) L-O-L, so school sucks. Grow a damn pair of balls.

[Okay, Boomer. You first. (Before anyone goes “well actually he’s not a Boomer”: I don’t care. This is such a Boomer message that a Boomer may as well be saying it.)]

(Children’s souls! We’re so evil! Muahahahaha!)

[I’m sorry for including all the evil laughing in this transcription, but it’s just as annoying to hear it, trust me.]

Bokkun “Child” chorus: Real cool visualizations (It’s all part of the plan so that you’re more likely to get a job when you’re older!) Milking your gloom and pity (Muahahahahaha! How terrible is that? Muahahahahaha! Muahahahaha!)

[Considering how schools in the way they operate now make students lose sleep, stresses them out over numbers that are assigned to tasks that have been forced upon them, and has been outdated for years since that’s not how most jobs work anymore... Yeah, it actually is terrible. You even said earlier that there are problems with our current education system, yet now you’re making fun of people who criticize it? Make up your mind.]

You hated school, who the hell didn’t? (It’s like those ‘90s commercials where the adults look like bad guys!) What’s next, hating DMVs? (Except they weren’t 90s commercials, they were really mini-documentaries! It’s all true! Muahahahaha!) Hey! Waters! Leave it on F-B!

[We get it already, Doug, you really hate Waters’s ego and the things he talks about in these songs. You’ve already talked about that in your previous parody, can you move onto something else about the movie that isn’t that? So far you’re making it sound like that’s the only thing worth talking about regarding this film.]

(We really don’t see what makes Cinnamon Toast Crunch so great!) All and all, complaining doesn’t mean much at all

[Well, at least you’re able to admit that your career means nothing.]

(Because we’re old! Muahahahaha!) But who cares, it’s still a damn cool song in The Wall (Bleh bleh bleh bleh, I’m a teacher, bleh bleh bleh bleh!)

[In case anyone was wondering why I said it was Adam Sandler’s shitty Bela Lugosi impression he was doing and not just a shitty Bela Lugosi impression, there you go. (For those who don’t get it: the “bleh bleh bleh” thing is a recurring “joke” in at least the first Hotel Transylvania. Yes, it’s as lame as it sounds.)]

We still need more persecutions (Muahahahahahaha! Ahehahahahahehe suck your blood, bleh!) (??) need to hear you (???) (Stabula!)

[I’m giving this my best shot, I really am, but... all I hear for that last set of question marks there is a really inappropriate c-word.]

What are you big boys to say school’s lame? Based on a long-winded rant?

[Hmm, posts and articles made by people who know what they’re talking about explaining how the American school system (since that’s what you’re basing this on rather than the one Waters wrote about) needs some serious retooling in order to cause less burnout, stress and trauma with literal children that can and will affect them in the short and long term when they grow up, or some internet jackass who gets paid for yelling at things and hasn’t been to a high school since at least the 90′s. Gee, I wonder whose opinion on that subject matters more in this situation. (That was sarcasm, by the way, for those who couldn’t tell.)]

Hey! Twitter! (???) bloody (???)!

[I’ve tried my best to figure out what they’re saying here, but this is one of the few times that I cannot actually tell no matter how hard I try, I’m sorry.

So anyway, the TL;DR version of what I think of what this parody song has to say about the original can be summed up in one Kermit gif:

...Why aren’t I watching The Great Muppet Caper instead?]

watching jojo's bizarre adventure anime adaptation and seeing how much the anime team fixed araki (the mangaka)'s bad writing makes me rlly wish that if berserk gets a proper anime adaptation whoever does it will do the same with miura's writing (and some of his art too tbh). like for example for all their faults the berserk movies did improve casca's character. what are your wants for a potential full berserk anime adaptation? (also let's hope that this is the year we finally get one 🤞)

I never finished JJBA or watched the anime so idk, but I’m curious how much they changed. Like were there big changes to the plot, or was it mostly just little minor changes to smooth over some flaws?

ty for asking, and I apologize in advance for how long this got lol.

tbh I think my ideal, if not realistic, Berserk adaptation is one that just goes ‘fuck it’ and throws out most of the story lol. Starts with Black Swordsman, ends with Femto lowering his hand and letting Guts escape - well more specifically, on this panel:

Like that is a perfect final shot imho.

(Also I might mirror it with the opening shot. Like I wouldn’t open on Guts fucking an apostle lmao, I don’t actually dislike that opening but it doesn’t fit this theoretical adaption. So how about we open on a long shot of Black Swordsman Guts surrounded by the ghosts he’s fighting, that mimics this?)

Ooh I might also… I might stick the Lost Children arc in between Snake Man and Count Slug. Ugggh there are some logistical issues to untangle there, but I really, really want Jill/Rosine Guts/Griffith parallels, and I want ghosts taunting Guts about becoming a monster like his friend. Subtlety is for cowards. Oh except we wouldn’t’ve seen Femto yet so that wouldn’t work. Well, “like him” then instead of “like your friend.” There now it’s foreshadowing 2 ways.

the climax of the story is the moment of sacrifice because there’s no Eclipse rape, Casca dies shortly after Judeau, and Guts’ horror at being sacrificed by Griffith is the emotional low point. Potentially no gtsca either if I can figure out a way to incorporate Guts’ stupid dream speech somewhere else. Maybe it can be a flashback during the Wyald fight, which I’d keep incidentally, sans attempted rape, w/ Guts talking to Erica. Actually yeah that would be perfect and immediately tie Guts’ “dream” of fighting stronger and stronger enemies with fighting monsters lol, meaning I could bypass Guts’ post Eclipse war declaration that draws that comparison more explicitly.

Boom, Berserk is now a nice little self-contained tragic story about two dudes each becoming solitary monsters because they abandoned each other for abstract dreams, and threw aside the potential for true emotional healing (relationships) for shallow coping mechanisms (swords/dreams). Uhhh, also Puck is cut. Sorry Puck, ilu but you’re a ray of hope that ruins the vibe here.

And finally since this is my ideal adaptation, the subtext between Guts and Griffith is text. They don’t actually fuck or kiss, because that would avert the Eclipse, but… hm how do you make it clear that they want to fuck but are too repressed to do it and that’s what ruins everything? Okay well Griffith’s torture chamber monologue includes “love” a la the anime dub, and maybe “desire” or “need” to completely remove that ambiguity desperately maintained in the minds of straight people. And Guts… I don’t know that I can go textual lol. The only point in the story he can possibly recognize his own feelings is chapter 71.

Ooh I got it. Just include “at that time he shone before me as something beautiful, noble, and larger than life” after the Count’s backstory lmao. Do you really need more? Well, maybe “he shone before me as something larger than life - noble, and… beautiful.” Or just cut to the chase completely: “At that time, he shone before me as something beautiful, noble, and larger-than-life. I loved him.”

OKAY all that said I feel like this wasn’t really what you’re asking lol since you mentioned a complete adaption. So okay assuming there are no huge major changes to the content or structure of the story, here’s a (stupidly long, like only read this if you for some reason enjoy seeing me ramble for days about minute details lmao) list of some more minor things I’d want to change:

I’d start with the Black Swordsman arc and continue as the manga goes. Yes, in this one Guts still fucks an apostle. This is right before the credits, and it’s depicted as badass and cool. In fact, I might actually split the scene with the credits - start the opening sequence right after Guts blows her up, and resume on this shot with more of a sombre tone:

Like okay that would be pretty cheesy lol, but this is the Black Swordsman arc. It’s supposed to be a little campy, and really unsubtle, and this seems like a fun way of highlighting this little tonal shift.

Relatedly, I would not acknowledge the fact that most people watching already know where it’s going. I would maintain the integrity of the first arc in starting off with Guts as an apparent cool badass and then tearing that down, as well as keeping Griffith’s identity and Guts’ motivation a mystery in theory, and making the Count’s backstory the climax of this arc in a revelatory sense, rather than in an action sense.

To get more general, no fanservice for straight dudes. no one’s tits are randomly out, and when they are they’re drawn realistically and subject to the laws of gravity. casca’s clothes don’t get torn all the time, rosine’s got full moth fuzz coverage, farnese is wearing a shirt when guts takes her hostage and if we need self-flagellation (and tbh I wouldn’t necessarily cut it) it can be in a flashback, etc. Oh except Slan I guess. Her whole character is fanservice so w/e I’ll allow it.

not every woman is in love with and solely motivated by a dude. skip the queen’s completely unnecessary reveal that she was in love with julius, skip casca’s “I lived my life with the intent of sacrificing myself on my unrequited feelings for griffith” bullshit, skip sonia’s crush on neogriffith, skip tf out of schierke’s crush on guts, skip the random period of incest-y bdsm-y vibes in Farnese and Serpico’s backstory that adds nothing lol, skip the suggestions that Farnese is jealous of Casca’s history with Guts, etc

also most sexual assault scenes are cut. Casca is running for her life during the 100 man fight, not from attempted rapists. Wyald does not assault Casca, Farnese is not almost raped by a fucking horse, we chill out a bit on the sexual torture in every bg scene during the conviction arc jfc, Casca’s multiple assaults during that arc are cut, troll rape is cut, you get the point.

I’ll keep Adon’s shitty threats tho bc i feel like some violent misogyny is necessary if i’m not changing everything, but I’d completely lose the comic relief vibe he gets and make Casca’s fight with him properly epic and satisfying. The movie did this a bit better imo, but I’d really remove Adon’s whole boastful loser schtick. That might disappoint some fans, but idc Casca deserves to kill someone who is actually kind of a badass.

There’s a lot of bullshit around gtsca that I’m torn between wanting to cut, and instead wanting to just depict very negatively. Like would it be better if instead of Casca shyly asking Guts how she looks in a dress she just complained about the dress being uncomfortable, ie we completely cut that burgeoning “soft side” bs?

Or would it be better if she still asked him how she looks, then we call back to that moment when she gets awkward about her scars before sex, we keep Judeau musing on how she’s showing a soft side, we call back to that when he tells Guts to save her from leadership, we tie it all together when Guts asks Casca to leave with him, and bring it home by making it abundantly clear that Casca moving from being Griffith’s sword to Guts’ sword is not a positive change.

Like highlight everything negative about it - Guts being a huge dick, the ominous undertone when he invites her along (like cue the creepy cello music when they kiss right before we shift to monsters and behelits lol), all the parallels between him and Griffith wrt their dreams, Guts telling Casca to fuck off while he fights Wyald, maybe even add a moment where Casca actually reflects on how she’s left out of all the dream/equals bullshit and what that says about their priorities and how they see her. Might be a nice lead up to her telling Guts to leave to pursue his dream and be Griffith’s equal.

also maybe show that judeau is wrong about casca being better off away from the hawks? ugh there’s so much that would have to be reworked with her narrative. like if she still has to attempt suicide, again can we ditch the lead up about how it’s because she has an unrequited crush on griffith and just keep it about the fact that she hasn’t slept in a week and she’s on the run and her hawks keep dying and griffith is being tortured and she just stabbed guts and she’s had a very difficult year?

and like, maybe she leapt to accept Guts’ ‘come with me’ offer because she’s exhausted and emotionally overwhelmed, but are you kidding me? While Guts gets an entire narrative arc about abandoning his found family, Casca doesn’t even think about it for a moment before agreeing to ditch them? Can we maybe have some indication about how she feels about the Hawks as a family, maybe some reflection about why she would choose to leave, maybe some second thoughts about it after the Wyald fight when it becomes abundantly clear what her role would be while Guts pursues his dream, like god she’s such a pawn of the narrative, I hate it. Give her some real reasons for doing stuff!

ANYWAY moving on

like the movie, I’d give charlotte more agency in the sex scene w/ griffith, I liked her asking him to stay and moving his hand to her tit herself. I probably would not actually make griffith so out of it though - i enjoyed that in the movie but I don’t necessarily consider it in-character. The way he went from literally crying in the rain to smiling and making charming jokes as soon as Charlotte opened the window in the manga honestly makes perfect sense to me lol. Just uh, make Charlotte into it from the start because there’s zero reason for her not to be other than bad misogynistic cliches?

Also I feel like there’s a balance to be struck between depicting het sex as dude sticks his dick in, woman somehow has a good time a la the manga vs making guts and griffith competent at foreplay and oral a la the movies lol. Like maybe depict the sex scenes as the bad sex they are but Charlotte still feels closer to Griffith afterwards despite not coming from a dude fucking her while thinking about another dude and like, just keep Casca telling Guts he was obviously a virgin afterwards lol.

I guess we’re stuck with the Eclipse rape, but it happens mostly off screen and in close, telling but non-explicit details, like yk, big clawed hand holding a wrist, Casca’s eyes squeezed shut, Femto’s hand on the small of her back (I’m thinking a reversed call back to the wagon scene w/ that to suggest Femto’s motivation being a show of power tbqh). Some would be from Casca’s pov, with maybe one brief moment from Guts’ pov as he loses an eye or something. Keep the movie’s visual reference to Griffith saving her. No pornographic angles. No apostle rape prelude to it. Casca doesn’t have an orgasm. Femto doesn’t stare at Guts. It’s not about Guts at all for either of them, it’s about Femto taking Griffith’s fucked up relationship to sex and expressing it monstrously, and it’s about Casca being betrayed and symbolically negating the agency she fought for since Griffith threw her a sword. Guts’ reaction is horror and fear, not manly heroic outrage. He might still rip off his arm to attack Femto, but that would be because that’s always his reaction to whatever scares him, not for Casca’s sake. Might have to contextualize that with flashbacks to his childhood, or at the very least strong visual parallels to both his childhood and the Zodd + Wyald fights.

I want to cut the fetus, replace it with like a cronenburg-y fucked up dog-like demon in the Black Swordsman arc - not as a literal version of the Beast of Darkness, but just as a metaphor for how Guts’ inner darkness is twisting him into a pathetic asshole lol. But tbh cutting the fetus is a logistical nightmare because Casca needs magic protection during the Conviction arc. So idk. But NGriff doesn’t need it, and his narrative would be more engaging without that scapegoat. Fuck emotional ambiguity, I just want to drop the news that NGriff has feelings, and then not change anything else about his narrative. The themes of isolation and loneliness threaded throughout would just shine through lol it would be great.

I would emphasize the shit out of the Beast of Darkness/Femto parallels. Yeah Guts would still assault Casca in my adaption too. If the Eclipse rape happens, that has to happen because the point is that Guts’ inner darkness is the same. But like, I’d cut the page where beast of darkness guts bites her head off while raping her. Also I’d keep the visual parallel to the Eclipse rape (the v similarly depicted kisses) and add another from Casca’s point of view, or have her flashback then instead of just staying in Guts’ head.

as for the fallout, I’d give Guts a proper scene where he sees himself as a monster, like damn he got more of a self-reflective and telling reaction that time he accidentally killed a random kid, we should get something when he sexually assaults Casca. but overall I’d focus way more on Casca being afraid of him now rather than his mopey guilt. I would also… I mean god this should be addressed in the fact that Guts fucking wears the Berserk armour all the time lol. Like one second he’s all, “omg Flora can put a magic seal on my brand that’ll depower my magical evil jiminy cricket wolf and hopefully prevent me from raping and murdering Casca, that’s great!” and the next second he’s all, “omg magic armour I can wear that will enable me to kill everything with the side effect of superpowering my inner evil wolf and turning on my companions? sign me the fuck up I’m sure nothing bad could possibly happen with that.”

Like what I’m saying is I’d either make Guts a lot more reluctant to use the armour and take Skull Knight’s warnings seriously and genuinely reflect on the fact that mysterious magical children have to prevent him from murdering his friends over and over again, or I’d draw attention to this idiocy and fully commit to Guts as a dumbass hypocrite blithely walking down the path to more tragedy of his own making. and probably the latter based on where the story is likely to be headed lol.

in the lost children arc, I’d give Rosine’s mother more of a role as a good parent who Rosine has a loving relationship with, who tried and failed to stop her father’s abuse or something, because honestly I love the Peekaf story and I find Rosine’s regret at the end as she tries to fly home v powerful, but I hate the idea that she regrets sacrificing her abusive father so maybe this way I can split the difference.

and Jill’s ending where she goes home to endure abuse would be depicted much more darkly.

like straight up I’d depict Jill flying with Rosine as a truly beautiful moment, I would show that Jill has the potential to fulfill Rosine in a way her neverland kidnapping bullshit can’t and that yes, if Jill stayed with Rosine everything might actually work out and with Jill’s influence the whole land of the elves thing could be reworked into less of a nightmare and more of a haven lol. And Guts would absolutely be depicted as fully monstrous in comparison, ruining both these kids’ lives. Like, no ambiguity, no suggestion that Jill learned an important lesson about living with abuse lmao, no implication that Rosine brought her tragic end on herself by not being a good enough child abuse victim, just Guts sowing tragedy wherever he goes.

I have no idea how to deal with the conviction arc in general lol, specifically the ultra cynical tone the actual narrative seems to take. Like, the Black Swordsman arc was idealistic compared to the Conviction arc, they clash badly imo. Extremely badly. Like it’s a giant mess. It’s like

Black Swordsman Guts: fuck everyone who dies because they weren’t strong enough to deal with my existence. *turns and wipes away a tear* *lets a zombie kid stab him* *evokes pity from puck*Conviction Guts: fuck everyone who dies because they weren’t strong enough to deal with my existence. *poses with his sword in one hand and the rescued love interest in the other* *the crowd cheers* *luca nods sagely*

yk it’s just… awkward. It’s hard to mitigate through like, film choices yk, because a lot of it is due to the circumstances. Guts telling Puck innocent people are just ants under his feet is much different than Guts refusing to let the big bad kill Casca by telling him that tens of thousands of people can and should die because they pray too much lmao, no matter what music plays in the background. Guts’ attitude is the same, the narrative’s attitude is contradictory.

Maybe I could make Guts less of a dick and cut a lot of those cynical moments? Not really call attention to the fact that Guts is effectively sacrificing tens of thousands of refugees for Casca, or more accurately, for his own desire to feel like a hero since he isn’t even the one who saves Casca, he got distracted trying to fight the fake Godhand.

Or lol maybe I’ll just have Isidro point that out in like, a smug way. Maybe I’ll have NeoGriffith personally thank him for his contribution to his resurrection. I mean I really want to call this questionable shit into question, yk? Not to declare Guts wrong for wanting to save Casca, but to declare his cavalier idgaf attitude a big problem that has consequences. Which would actually tie in nicely with emphasizing Guts’ dumbassery in brushing off Skull Knight’s warnings about the armour and insisting it’s nbd. lol I really hope this is what Miura’s going for, just more subtlely.

Actually I wonder if I could get away with cutting Isidro out entirely. Anyone could’ve saved Casca there.

Oh I’d cut the hell out of a lot of Guts’ fight scenes in the MF arc, and if I could possibly get away with it I’d cut out everything on the beach after Skull Knight’s ominous warning. Like this might end up being the Griffith show for a while because Guts’ half is a fucking slog. And of course I’d cut the entire boat trip. They get on a boat, they get off a boat, the end.

Okay I need to stop somewhere. I’m ignoring a lot of later stuff because it’s so dependent on where the story’s going now that Casca is awake etc. Like eg the Moonlight Boy. Can I cut him? Give him a more ominous tone? Emphasize the saccharine tone he evokes for the sake of pulling the rug out from under the audience later? Will I be forced to make huge changes anyway because I can’t stand where the story ended up going? Idk it depends.

If I could tho I’d definitely cut Magnifico, Isidro, Ivalera, mermaid… like Farnese, Serpico, and Schierke are the only characters on Guts’ side who contribute to the story in a meaningful way. And without Isidro Puck could again too.

Oooh yk one thing that might be nice would be framing Farnese as the main protagonist of Guts’ half of the story during the MF arc. Just focus on her, show more stuff from her perspective, cut down a lot of fights but keep her digression back home, maybe give her some additional content that explores her character shift better, show her struggling more with her own inner darkness a bit when she first joins and give her some character beats as she slowly grows more comfortable with Casca, maybe put her backstory chapters in the first episode of a new season (a great season ender would be Guts walking away from the Hill of Swords js), etc.

lmao god I feel like I could keep going forever. sorry this is so meandering but ty for giving me the opportunity to go on and on about this. Is there anything you’d really like to change yourself?

Fading

Wow, okay this is out of left field. After *checks last fanfic* jesus, 3 YEARS of not posting any works I come out from the shadows with a new fanfic.

Weird thing, it’s not Undertale, it’s Hololive shipping. Yup, that new trend that I still do not understand completely (basically streamer but Live2D face-tracker anime girl?). I got into a ship from the 1st gen (specifically Amelia and Gura, and a bit of Kiara and Calliope)

For the record, I don’t condone the act of shipping ACTUAL PEOPLE together, but the AmeGura art and actual things they’ve done together is too cute to pass up. I hope that whomever enjoys this ship enjoys what I have to offer (and two more sequels are planned in the very near future. In fact I’m most likely going to start writing them after posting this)

For context, it’s my take on the “ending” of a series of works called “From Ame to Same” by FinnGalaxy on Ao3. They will be properly credited there when I do post it on Ao3. In a sense, it’s technically fan-fanfiction lol

Also, the title is a reference to the stellar Friday Night Funkin’ mod Smoke Em Out Struggle, which I was listening to the entire time I was writing this.

Enjoy.

Gura never thought about what happens when you’re about to die; but she realizes now that it doesn’t really matter. She’s seen multitudes of colonies, societies and cliques rise and fall, all while she watches in the background, wondering if it’ll ever happen to her. She’s never known another of her species long, so she has no clue of the lifespan of an Atlantean. All she knows is that it has taken way too long; but it’s finally happening.

She’s finally dying.

She hasn’t heard from any of her friends from the old times in a long time. Ina was the first one to suddenly disappear. She mentioned something about meeting the Elder Ones during her last stream and hasn’t been seen since. Of course, Calliope happened next when she lost her human body. Gura used to commune with Calli whenever she had time off from her reapings; but those occasional communications also ceased for whatever reason. Gura felt no ire, she’s sure Calli had her reasons. She never met her in the human world again, so Gura concluded she wasn’t able to find another body to occupy. Kiara was last seen flying through the air aimlessly with no plan, and Gura expected she needed some time alone. A lot of time, apparently.

And Amelia. Gura kept telling herself that that fateful day when her sunshine left her that final letter was not the last time she’d see her; but she knew she was lying to herself. Gura kept on making excuses like “Oh she’s probably jumping the time streams, searching for the answer to longevity and she’ll be right back when she’s done.” but lying to yourself for over 1000 years straight gets old. She only wished she could’ve kept the letter Amelia left for her, but like everything on this damned rock, nothing lasts forever and has decomposed. She didn’t think much of it anymore, she knows her memory’s not going anywhere.

Gura picked a quiet, serene place to die: an abandoned beach. Nice place to watch both the sunset and the ocean. She remarked that she gets to see her two favorite places that remind her of her two favorite things: The sea, from whence she came; and the sun, representing the place she left her heart, with Amelia. 

No-one was around to spend her final days with, as she never kept anyone close to her since her first friends. No need to form any relationships if they’re just going to dissolve once they die, she figured.

“Stupid Ame.” Gura muttered to herself, hugging herself closer to keep warmer. “Are you really not going to meet your wife ONE time before she dies? You really are cruel, you bozo...”

“Hey, you’re still badmouthing me until your last dying breaths? You pain me, sharky.”

“Great, now I’m hallucinating her voice right before I die, what a pai-” Gura stops halfway and whips around to find an all too familiar figure standing in front of her. “A-Ame?”

“Long time no see, Gura.” Amelia remarks nonchalantly as she walks up to Gura. She pushes her back down as Gura stands up to greet her. “Stay down, save your energy right before you die, right?”

“I.. I don’t get it. Why are you back? HOW are you back? Why are you back now?” Gura has so many questions she doesn’t know where to start. 

Amelia heaves a grunt and sits beside her. “I suppose I do owe an explanation, huh?” Amelia ponders a moment before starting again. “Well, your memory’s still sharp, right? Do you remember why I left in the first place?”

“Of course I do!” Gura almost shouts, but realizes she doesn’t need to raise her voice when Amelia’s right next to her. “I remember everything in that goodbye letter you wrote. Lots of cheesy lines in that, BT-dubs” Gura jokes which Amelia chuckles back at. “Sorry I couldn’t keep the letter; paper only lasts for so long.”

“Hey, I’m not the only one with the cheesy lines. I got your letter from Calli, she was somehow able to find the right me; despite me time-jumping all over the place.” She pulls out a small piece of paper. “Decomposing doesn’t matter to a time-traveler, so I still got mine. Anyways, I left because I wanted to find a way to be forever with you. And suffice to say, I didn’t find it.”

“Yeah, I gathered that when you left me alone for 1000+ years.” Gura commented dryly.

“Can it, shorty.” Amelia bit back. “Well time-traveling back and forth multiple times without resting took a massive toll on my body, and I was informed by Calli,” Amelia mutters “figures” under her breath “that I had only a few time-travels before it would be it for me. I pondered going back to see you one last time and dying in the timeline I met you guys.”

“On one hand, I’d be happy that you did return. On the other hand, you dying in my arms...” Gura thinks of the possibility and shudders. “So what you’re saying...”

“Yup, this is my last time travel. I went forward in time and found out when the last Atlantean Shark died, and figured it was you. Only hard part was finding out where you decided to die. Thank the stars you didn’t decide to sink to the bottom of the seabed alone.”

“And you figured that I’d want to die somewhere with some memories.” Gura concluded and Amelia nodded. “You recognize this place? We went on many midnight strolls down this beach.”

“Well the landmarks are certainly different from our time as Hololive members, but the geographical position is similar.” Amelia comments, looking at the surroundings.

“Yup, still our special place.” Gura smiles and intertwines her hand with Amelia’s. “So, now that you’ve explained why and how you’re here, I can finally say what I’ve been wanting to say.” Gura places her head on Amelia’s shoulder. “I’ve missed you, Sunshine.”

“The feeling’s mutual, sharky.” Amelia squeezes the shark’s little hand. “You know, I expected you to look radically different in 1000 years. But you’ve barely changed, save for a couple lines around your eyes.”

“I look the same because my heart left with you when you disappeared.” Gura gets up and whispers into Amelia’s ear.

Amelia turns several different shades of red. “Okay, how many years did it take you to come up with that corny ass line?”

“Couple hundred.” Gura jokes, then returns to her position beside Amelia. “I suppose when I arrived at Hololive I was already an adult. And you...” Gura sits up slightly to get a better look at Amelia’s form. “You still look the same as when you left me. What, you didn’t find the secret to immortality but found eternal beauty instead?”

“Well, by my own personal timeline, I say it’s only been a couple years since I left you, so I guess I haven’t changed mu-” Amelia attempts to explain how old she is but is cut off by Gura.

“Ha, trick question! You’ll always be beautiful in my eyes.” Gura faces Amelia and gives her a toothy grin.

And tomato red goes Amelia again. “I should NOT have left you that long if all you were going to do is come up with cheesy one-liners.”

“Damn straight!”

“Which begs the question.” Amelia shuffles into a more comfortable position and stares at the slowly descending sun. “Apart from coming up with the one-liners, what HAVE you been doing for over a millennium?”

“Oh, I’ve got a bunch of stories to tell you, Ame.” Gura starts, preparing her vocal chords. “But they’re going to take some time.”

“Wow, you’ve sure been on some adventures, Gura.” Amelia remarks, not shifting from the spot they’ve been sitting for the past couple hours. The sun has been slowly descending past the horizon and is minutes away from plunging the surroundings into twilight.

“Well, we’re not going anywhere, Gura. Let’s hear them.”

---

“I’ll always say this, they will never top the time I spent with you guys.” Gura stretches and lets out a big yawn. “Think it’s about time for me, how about you?”

“Thinking about the same, Gura.” Amelia feels the most tired she’s ever been, and that includes the massive amount of time-travelling she’s done. “Let’s hope we’ll meet again once we go through... Whatever the hell happens when you die, huh?”

“Oh please. Now that you’re back by my side, you’re not leaving it, alive or not. Afterlife or whatever it’ll be, I’m making sure we’re never separated.” Gura struggles to keep her eyes open.

“I’ll hold you onto that, sharky.” Amelia gives her wife’s hand one last squeeze. “From now on...”

“Until forever...” 

“‘Till death do us part.” They say in unison.

...

“Wait, we’re dying right now. Maybe we shouldn’t’ve said that.”

“Don’t ruin the moment, dork.”

As I Have Loved You Love One Another John 13' 34 T Shirt

This is going to be one special show cat deeley joins the As I Have Loved You Love One Another John 13' 34 T Shirt band on the road in sao paulo and in the studio at abbey road for ‘u2 live at the bbc dec 19th bbc1 9pm u2songsofexperience u2. Ok a while back ago I bought mascara if that’s what you want to call it so I get credit ok fine so I use the credit to give another chance and my shipment comes in today and the box looked like it came out of garbage on top of besides my bill inside they included someone else’s bill with that person’s address really aside from that I decide to try the two different lip stains and I literally have to scrub it off till my lips are red it’s seriously like a damn marker so besides crappy products packaging is horrible and they give out people’s information very angry enclosing picture of box. My mom’s the inspiration for me becoming a representative and she’s a total beauty boss avon gold leader ivanna diaz hansen on why she’s celebrating her mom this mother’s day and all other 364 days of the year feeling inspired by this mama love enter to win the ultimate mother’s day gift basket for your mom by a sharing why she’s the boss in our momsthebosscontest full contest details in the prize post above

Source: As I Have Loved You Love One Another John 13' 34 T Shirt

As I Have Loved You Love One Another John 13' 34 T Shirt, Hoodie, Sweater, Longsleeve T-Shirt For Men and Women

As I Have Loved You Love One Another John 13' 34 T Shirt

See more: As I Have Loved You Love One Another John 13' 34 T Shirt

Premium Trending This Summer Season will Presents Who Love:

Yesterday was a As I Have Loved You Love One Another John 13' 34 T Shirt busy day of meetings and airplane travel for peter and connor but last night peter took some time to share his thoughts on the passing of the great christopher lee christopher lee was the tallest actor I ever knew he was also by far the most literate when we first met in a los angeles studio where he was recording his lines as king haggard in the last unicorn he had just recorded haggard’s speech about his first sight of unicorns and I mentioned that it was probably my favorite speech in the book he immediately wanted to know well did I do it properly we can always redo it right here of course he’d handled the lines perfectly but writers and writers’ opinions about their work mattered intensely to christopher that same afternoon we discovered that between the two of us we we could call to mind just about all the lines of g k chesterton’s poem the rolling english road we also discovered a mutual need to hit the men’s room and my son dan in his mid teens at the time still has a very clear memory of christopher simultaneously peeing while declaiming in that voice which no one could ever keep from imitating after fifteen minutes with him before the roman came to rye or out to severn strode the rolling english drunkard made the rolling english road a reeling road a rolling road that rambled round the shire and after him the parson ran the sexton and the squire I leave it to the reader to imagine that voice in the tiled acoustics of a hollywood bathroom we met a second time in munich where the last unicorn was being dubbed into german most of my memories of that time and of chris lee have to do with books and authors he had known both j r r tolkien and a writer who mattered more to me t h white we had a long ongoing argument in munich about a chapter of the sword in the stone that appears in the english edition of the book but not in the american one he turned out to be right he usually was he never failed to mention the last unicorn as one of his very favorite books and as one of the movies he was most proud of having made indeed he left my whopperjawed as mark twain would have put it when we were being interviewed together on austrian television and he announced oh yes I simply couldn’t resist a chance to play king haggard one more time even in another language after all and he looked straight into the camera it’s the closest they’ll ever let me get to playing king lear the camera swung toward me to catch my stunned reaction and chris looked across the studio at me and winked but my most vivid memory chilling as it remains to this day has to do with the day that I and michael chase walker associate producer of the last unicorn and the one who really got the film made in the first place somehow found our way out to dachau I can’t now recall how we managed it considering that neither one of us spoke german and that you had to take both a subway and a bus to get there from the hotel where the crew were staying but we got there somehow and spent a good half of the day roaming with other tourists around a legendary concentration camp peering blindly into the huge crematoriums but staring with equal horror and fascination at the endless rows of filing cabinets containing every record of every human being who was ever imprisoned starved gassed or simply worked to death in this place michael and I grew quieter and quieter that afternoon until by the time we started back to munich we weren’t speaking at all I think we both felt that we might say anything in words again the first person we met in the hotel lobby was christopher he took one look at us and announced you’ve been to dachau we nodded without answering chris strode toward us looked all the way down from his six foot five inch altitude lowered his voice and inquired still smells doesn’t it with the end of world war ii christopher as a member of the special forces and whose five or six languages included fluent german had been assigned to hunt down and interrogate nazi war crminals and had been present at the liberation of dachau and yes the smell of death had undoubtedly faded somewhat since 1945 but it was still as real as michael and me wandering dazedly between the ovens and the filing system we just didn’t know what it was but christopher did and i’d know it again I never saw him again after munich though we spoke on the telephone a few times on the last occasion when I had called to wish him a happy 90th birthday I remember him assuring me that if by the time you come to make your live action version of your movie I have passed on do not let it concern you I have risen from the dead several times I know how it’s done he worked almost to the last as the real artists of every kind do they work to be working because that’s what they do and they die when they stop I always regarded him as the last of the great 19th century actors that bravura larger than life style went with him no modern rada trained performer would ever attempt it today nor should they it would inevitably come out parody however earnestly meant yet there was always more to christopher lee as an actor than dracula or the mummy or saruman or sherlock holmes for that matter though he was very proud of having played not only both holmes and watson but sherlock’s brother mycroft as well lord summerisle of the original the wicker man probably his favorite of his own movies is most likely closer to chris’s dark benignity than any other role he ever inhabited I believe this because lord summerisle sings a surprising amount in that movie and chris passionately loved singing if there is any such thing as an afterlife or reincarnation I truly hope no believe that christopher lee will return as a wagnerian opera singer if he hadn’t been considered too old in his 30s to be accepted for formal vocal training he might have been in his own eyes at least a happier more fulfilled man but we would have been deeply poorer for it and never have known. Lead artist james kaliardos for nars cosmetics products face narsskin luminous moisture cream narsskin aqua gel luminous oil free moisturizer narsskin total replenishing eye cream velvet matte skin tint radiant creamy concealer soft velvet loose powder cheeks 413 blkr illuminator miss liberty highlighting blush deep rose side of paloma contour blush satellite of love highlighting blush eyes albatross highlighting blush reckless highlighting blush dione dual intensity eyeshadow santa monica blvd ltl eyeliner brows audacious mascara matte black side of pandora duo eyeshadow lips liv audacious lipstick train bleu velvet matte pencil. My family is all about pranking one another i’m so excited for you all to see our episode of you kiddin me a hilarious new prank show I executive produced premiering 9 22 only on facebook watch See Other related products: As I Have Loved You Love One Another John 13' 34 T Shirt

Wild at Heart (Chapter 2/?)

Read: Prologue Ch 1

Graphic Art credit to the lovely and wonderful @jell-obeans Thank you so much!

Summary: Born and raised by rich parents, Emma Nolan has always done what’s expected of her, from what clothes to wear to what school to attend, what career to pursue and even who to marry. After graduating from Harvard and going back home to Storybrooke, South Carolina, she agrees to marry Oz Walsh by the wishes of her parents. With a year of engagement behind her, she goes to Boston for business and has to fly back home to get to her wedding. What happens when she has a run-in at the airport with a dashing, blue-eyed thief who is apparently bound and determined to throw a wrench in all of her plans? Will she make it back to Storybrooke on time for her wedding or will she find her home along the way?

A/N: I am so sorry I took this long to update! I've been struggling with this chapter for a while because I had half of it written but wasn't happy with it. I'm still not, but hopefully I will be able to update sooner this time. Thanks for being patient with me.I owe a huge thanks to @rouhn for her help with this story and for the ideas because I wanted to change the original plot so many times, but she kept me on the right track : )

Rating: M

AO3 FFN

Tagging a few people who have shown interest. If I missed anyone or if anyone else would like to be tagged, let me know. @kmomof4 @katie-dub @ijenny16 @lovepurplepumpkins@jennjenn615 @piratesbooty63fan @galadriel26 @ladyciaramiggles @andiirivera

“Sweetheart? What happened?”

Emma could hear the concern in her mother’s voice as she closed her eyes, doing her best to contain the anger she felt. She had went to the airport security about her stolen bag and after arguing and making contemptuous remarks towards him for not watching his post properly and letting a thief escape with a stolen bag in broad daylight, she had gotten absolutely nowhere. Even with some hard negation and idle threats to sue the place, clearly making them aware that she was a lawyer and a damn good one, the only outcome she had received were threats of detainment and arrest. So she had waited impatiently in the VIP lounge for what felt like an eternity, putting a stop to all of her credit cards over the phone and cursing under her breath, just so the staff could tell her that there was no Killian Jones in their system before offering more bad coffee and useless apologies for the unfortunate event. She had missed her flight, unwilling to let such a thing go.

The sky was turning grey and cloudy when Emma stormed out of the airport in a flurry of anger, dragging her suitcase behind her as she held her phone in her other hand.

She actually felt sympathy for the poor asshole because if she ever ran into him again, there was going to be hell to pay.

“Emma? You there?”

Emma explained what happened to her worried mother, her voice whiny and full of irritation from her horrible day and her eyes swollen with threatening tears. “I missed my flight and now I have no money, credit card or ID. And you should have seen how the staff treated me, Mommy; like I was the criminal instead of the victim.”

“That's awful, honey. Hold on just a second,” her mother told her as Emma heard her father in the background. Her parents’ voices became muffled and she could tell that Mary Margaret had covered the speaker and she could hear her trying to calm him. After a moment, Emma could hear the phone being shuffled around.

“Emma?” Her father’s voice was full of concern after collecting the phone from his wife.

“Hi Daddy.”

“Hold tight, princess. I'm coming to get you myself.”

Emma shook her head even though they couldn't see her. “No, Daddy. You can't just leave town. You're the mayor and besides, I won't make it in time for the wedding if you do. I can just get another flight.”

She heard him sigh heavily. “I don't care, you're my daughter and more important to me than this town. And we can push back the wedding if we have to. Walsh will understand. Although, the wedding planner, the catering service, florist and musicians we hired may not, but all that matters is getting you home safely.”

Emma smiled weakly as a tear spilled down her cheek. She was lucky to have parents who cared about her. “It's okay. Could you just wire me some cash so I can buy some food?”

“Of course, sweetheart. And you can use my credit card to purchase a flight. But are you sure you don't want me to come and get you?”

“Yeah, I'm sure.” Emma did not like the idea of a long road trip. She just wanted to get home as quickly as possible and sleep in her own bed.

The three of them made arrangements to have the money wired to Emma and after she hung up, she called Walsh to let him know what was going on.

After Emma received some money from her parents for food and whatever she needed to get by until she could get home, she searched online using her phone and her father's credit card number that she had memorized to purchase another flight. To her dismay, they were all booked until Monday, being that it was Friday and also the start of Spring break for most college students in Boston, and traveling was at its peak during the weekend. She could take a bus or train, but then it would take her fifteen hours to get home. And renting a car was out of the question since she didn't have her driver's license. Besides, any transportation that didn't involve business or first class on an airplane and taking a total of five hours to get from A to B seemed quite unappealing to her. So, she took a taxi and went to a hotel to relax and order some food. Her feet were killing her and the weight of stress and frustration from her day was just too much to bear. She didn't call her parents, knowing that her father would leave Storybrooke and come get her.

Light sprinkles of rain started to fall, forming droplets on the glass as the cab pulled in front of the hotel. She unzipped her suitcase, pulling out her umbrella and closed her luggage before paying the driver and stepping out of the taxi. She shut the behind her, opening her umbrella to shield herself from the rain. The bellhop greeted her, taking her suitcase before following her inside the hotel. It was the same one she had stayed at during the week and she chosen it because the staff knew who she was and wouldn't need to look at her ID. Plus, the guy working behind the counter had a crush on her and after she told him her woes of the day, he gave her a discount on one of the available suites. She smiled flirtatiously as he handed her the keycard and offered to carry up her suitcase himself, despite the Bellhop who he had to argue with to do so. She accepted and he came around to take the handle of the suitcase, sheepishly smiling as he led her to the room she would be staying in.

“Here you are, Miss Nolan.” They entered the room and he set the suitcase down.

“Thank you, Graham.”

“You're welcome. And if you are in need of anything at all, please let me know.”

“Please, you know that I will.” She smirked and winked at him. He knew that she was not shy when she was unhappy about her room or service and definitely let them know about it. But Graham was always more than happy to receive her complaints with sincere apology and service them right away.

“You're right, I do,” he said with a chuckle and bowed to her before leaving the suite.

She let out a heavy sigh as she removed her jacket and slipped out of her shoes. She wasn't sure how she was going to get back home yet but maybe after she got some food in her belly and took a nap, she would be more apt to taking a train to get home. She did quick calculations in her head as she picked up a menu and got comfortable in the king size bed. She had approximately forty-five hours until her wedding and if she were to take a train early in the morning then she would make it in plenty of time.

Emma gave the menu a once-over before she set it down on the bed. Truthfully, she had grown tired of hotel food over the course of the week, between breakfast and lunch at the conference rooms she had attended and dinner in the hotel restaurant. Plus, she had a craving for sushi and it was too early to be cramped up in her hotel room so she decided to go out for food. She freshened up and changed into a pair of red, plaid leggings and a black sweater, slipping into her heels and jacket before leaving the hotel with her umbrella.

The rain was coming down pretty heavily as she walked down the street to explore her options, quickly deciding that some good sushi was still calling her name. She turned a corner and spotted her favorite Sushi place in Boston. She remembered when her parents would come and visit her while she attended college, they always drove out of their way to go there.

A group of people were leaving the restaurant, dispersing in the opposite direction as Emma walked past an alley.

Her free hand was in her pocket, pulling out her phone and making sure to keep it under the umbrella, protected from the rain as she checked her messages. She saw three texts from Walsh.

W: Any luck finding a flight?

W: Your parents are still freaking out that you missed your plane.

W: Call me when you get this.

She sighed and started to text something back to Walsh when her mouth was suddenly being covered and she was being grabbed and pulled into the alley, pinned against a brick wall with a gasp. Her phone slipped out of her hand, falling to the ground and her umbrella hit the wall as she looked up, her mouth still covered. Her eyes were met with a pair of deep ocean blue, the same ocean blue that she had seen earlier that day in the airport before her bag was so rudely stolen from her. Emma’s eyes blew wide in a mixture of anger and fear.

“Relax, love. I'm not going to hurt you.” He spoke in a soft voice that eased the panic rushing through her blood as he removed his hand and lifted the bag that was around his shoulder. “I have your bag.”

“Yeah and you also have a jail cell waiting for you if you don't release me right now,” she demanded in a steely tone. He had a jail cell waiting for him either way as soon as she retrieved her phone.

He immediately put up his hands in defeat. “I'm not here to cause trouble, I just want to make you a deal.” She looked down at her cellphone that was laying on the ground as his eyes flickered between her and the phone. They both moved to reach for it but he was quicker, grabbing it up before she could.

“Give it back!” she yelled, her hand reaching out to take it back but he was able to keep it from her grasp. She huffed in defeat, trying to maintain her composure. “Why the hell would I make a deal with you? You stole my bag and made me miss my flight! And what, did you follow me here? Now I can add stalker and kidnapper to the list.”

“I followed you to bring your bag back.” Killian removed it from his shoulder and held it out for her.

“Oh and I'm supposed to thank you for that? You stole it from me!” Emma yanked it from his hand, pulling it over her shoulder before reaching out for her phone again but he quickly tucked it in his jacket.

“Don't worry, you’ll get your phone back.”

Emma shot him a scowl, still clutching onto the umbrella with her other hand. The rain had let up a bit but it was still sprinkling and she hated getting wet. Killian, however was drenched from head to toe. “And I suppose you won't give it back until I listen to what you have to say?” she asked, her tone bitter and resentful.

“Ah, you're quite smart for a lawyer,” he teased. She responded with a sarcastic smirk.

“Says the thief who ran off with my bag and hunted me down to bring it back.”

“Touché love.”

“Don't call me that,” she said sharply. “I am not your love.”

Killian let out a sigh. “Fine. Emma, I'm sorry I took your bag, but it didn't really seem like you really wanted to go where you were heading.”

“So that's why you took it then?” she asked, confused. God, this guy was an idiot.

“No, I took it because I'm a thief. Pay attention, lo- Emma.”

She clenched her jaw, pulling the sleeve of her jacket over her hand as she grabbed the umbrella with it, the cold air starting to make her shiver. All she wanted to do was sit down in a warm restaurant and enjoy some sushi after the inconvenience this asshole had already caused her. Was that really too much to ask? “You know I could just scream to get people's attention and have them call the cops on you right?”

“Aye, you could, but I'm quick.” He pulled out her phone from his jacket and held it up. “And I still have your precious phone.” She sighed warily and rolled her eyes at him. Her patience was wearing thin.

“Could you just tell me what you want so I can move on with my life?” she asked snarkily.

“I told you, I wanted to make you a deal. You want to get back to Storybrooke correct?”

“Yes, of course. I'm getting married in…” Emma pulled back the cuff of her jacket with the hand holding her umbrella, to look at her watch, “ ...forty-four hours.” She removed her hand and looked up at him again. “What's your point?”

“My point is I’d be willing to drive you… for a price.”

“And what would that be? I am not sleeping with you.”

Killian chuckled. “That's a relief. I'd probably have to sign a waiver before hand and you'd probably scream your pleasure using legal jargon."

Emma flashed him a sarcastic smirk. “You're assuming you could bring me pleasure,” she snickered. “That's quite optimistic, don't you think?”

Killian leaned into her space underneath the umbrella, his heavy gaze making her breath catch as he licked his sinful-looking lips that were wet from the rain. “Is that a challenge?” he asked in a sultry tone, his words low and husky. "I do love a good challenge.”

Emma swallowed thickly, eyeing his mouth. She’d be lying if she said she didn't consider it. She blinked, pulling herself from her trance. “In your dreams.”

“Oh indeed, princess,” he said with a dark smirk. “I’d love to make the meek and rich mayor's daughter scream filthy words as she came undone at my hands.”

Confusion fell over features. “How do you know who my father is?”

He gave her a soft shrug. “I did some research. It's easy to look up rich lawyers on the internet, love.”

“And I'm guessing that's what you want for driving me to Storybrooke? Money?”

“You really do catch on quick, Emma.”

“How much? I'll pay you to leave me alone, how about that? My parents wired me a thousand dollars.”

“Not so fast, princess. What I'm asking for is much more than what your parents would send you. Your father comes from old money…” he tilted his head to the side and pursed his lips. “And I'm quite the greedy scoundrel. I'm thinking more like five-hundred thousand.”

Emma looked at him as though he were nuts. “And why would my father give you that kind of money? He can drive here and pick me up himself?”

“That's exactly why I'm going to call and tell him that I'm holding you for ransom.”

Emma scoffed. “You are insane. There's no way I would ever make a deal with you. And why the hell would I want a ride from you, let alone trick my father into paying you?”

“Because, I have something you might want back,” he replied smugly.

Emma clenched her jaw as she stared him down in a threatening manner. “I've had enough of this. I'm leaving. You can just keep the phone. I'll find another way home.”

“I'm not talking about the phone.” She ignored him and started to walk away as Killian pulled something out of his jacket and held it up. “Go ahead and leave. I'll just mail this to your future husband. At least then he'll know the truth about who he's marrying.”

Emma stopped dead in her tracks, her face going white as she turned around. Her eyes blew wide when she saw what he was holding. “You wouldn't?” she managed, her eyes glazed over in fear.

“Oh I would.”

Emma swallowed thickly, anger engulfing her to the point where she couldn't move. This bastard was holding her diary in his hands, where she had written private thoughts, including how much she didn't want to marry Walsh. She had also scribbled down other things that she didn't want Walsh to know about, or anyone else. “Give that back to me.” She approached him, reaching for it but he pulled it away.

“Hmmm… I wonder how your fiancé would feel knowing that you'd rather endure a thousand deaths than marry him… or how your parents would feel about how you'd rather go to art school than be a lawyer..."

Emma huffed in frustration as she tried to grab it again. “That is private!”

“Not for much longer.” He pulled it away, stepping back as he cracked open the book, reading one of the pages he had bookmarked. "Oh and this entry is rather quite juicey. I wonder how your fiancé would react finding out about the little dalliance you had with one of your colleagues on your desk at work because Walsh could never satisfy you in the sac,” he said in a cocky tone, flashing her a smirk before tucking the diary back into his jacket. "And here I thought you were just a stuffy lawyer with a bug up her ass."

Emma's blood was boiling as he walked away and she followed after him. “Give it back you rat bastard!” she demanded.

He didn't stop.

She couldn't believe he was bribing her with a diary! One that she never left out of her sight. It was the only outlet she had. No one wanted to listen to the rich girl with an Ivy league education whine about how unhappy she was. But no matter what, she put on a smile and accepted everything that was thrown at her. And now it was all about to blow up in her face.

“Fine, we have a deal!” she called out.

He finally stopped before he reached the end of the alley and turned around, lifting his hand to his ear. “What's that?”

“We have a deal. I'll go along with your scheme. But you know it'll never work. My dad will have you arrested as soon as he hands you the money."

A slow, devious smile pulled at his lips as though he got a thrill out of the thought. “Oh princess, you forget… I do love a good challenge.”

The Celebrity June 2015 interview - Taemin [Taemin who is neither early nor late]

Repost from the translator keihissi’s original post, which can be found

here on their blog.

.

[Taemin who is neither early nor late] The maknae of famous SHINee, and the most famous maknae among all of this (idol) world's maknae, Taemin. Because his hyungs show nothing but love for him, fans have dubbed him "TAEMINee". Is this why compared to the other members, his growth to adulthood has drawn a deeper and thicker impression and stayed in the public's hearts? We talked about the seemingly young but not young Taemin's progress velocity.

.

Q: We saw "Let's Go to School" and it seems you really enjoyed being a matchmaker between your friends who are interested in each other?

Taemin: I was reasonably interested. I wasn't able to do such things during my student days. That's why I excessively enjoyed myself and somehow tried to help them.

Q: During your rookie days, sometimes when you have to let go of your favorite things, you earnestly worried over your choices and that is impressive. Have you ever felt any regret or have you ever wanted to get them back again?

Taemin: I've really never regretted it. There are times when I've said "it's a pity" as a joke, but when I see someone pleased because of me, I'm happy too. That's why when I give out things, I give out those that I treasure the most.

Q: If we ask now if we can have your favorite item, what will we receive?

Taemin: I guess the iPad I've used long ago?

Q: We really want it (LOL). Last year, you presented yourself as a solo artist for the first time with「ACE」. That time, did you read everything written about you--experts' opinions and news articles, etc.?

Taemin: Of course. Whether they are objective or subjective articles, they were all discussions for my sake. When I'm doing activities with SHINee, I haven't really looked at articles about us. But when I was doing solo activities, I tried to see the responses as much as I could, I really looked them up. Since it's my first solo activity and I have to do everything by myself so I had a lot of worries.

Q: You seem to be the type who becomes more stimulated to do his best after getting criticized, but isn't that tiring? Is it not right to be just pleased with praises?

Taemin: Of course I love receiving praises but because of that I also dislike getting negative comments. That's why I'm the type who makes sure that do things precisely and without mistakes. I think I'm like that by nature.

Q: When talking about Taemin, we cannot remove topics like "maknae," "debuting when young", and "student days". Have you ever thought that you are going through life very fast?

Taemin: I've thought about how long I've been active (as an idol), but really, it's just that I'm an entertainer and the other people of the my age are students, right? Sometimes. when I look at photos from way back, I think that time really passed by so much.

Q: Before realizing it, you (SHINee) have reached your 8th year. In those 7 years, have you become closer to the image of an artist that you have dreamed about or wished to be?

Taemin: First, the visions I embraced before debut and the reality have some differences, so I can say that I developed a different image than I thought. But other than that I cannot tell if it's for the bad or for the good. In proportion to the great effort I exert, I'm able to have a great chance to challenge different things. And each time I feel that I'm able to acquire the fruits of my labors in my own way. I think that that in itself is interesting.

Q: You have said yourself that you will go in the direction that you desire, right? Have you set an objective for yourself?

Taemin: Actually, I don't think of reaching my goals at this speed, even so, I intend to proceed towards a good direction. This is something that depends on me, so first I have to exert a lot of effort in order to become better.

Q: You have a lot of things you want to do and your passion is also overflowing, but aren't you "striking the iron" too much?

Taemin: I think that whenever my greed surfaces and I say something that I want to do it's a just cause that I have to do it. Instead of being someone who doesn't do anything and is carefree, when I'm preparing for something I really become a greedy person. By nature, I don't really wish for anything more than what I have. But with regards to work, I am very ambitious so I am actively assertive.

Q: Last March, you had concerts in Tokyo Dome. How does it feel to cross over such a large mountain?

Taemin: Even in Japan's music scene, Tokyo Dome is a symbolic place. It's like a dream to be able to perform there so we've always talked about how we wanted to stand on its stage. It's not a stage where just anyone can stand, and standing there is like following our sunbaes' footsteps. When we began our Japan activities, we started at the very bottom, piling up (experience and reputation) little by little with precision, so when we managed to fill up Tokyo Dome with the audience, it felt like we've been given recognition. The feeling of accomplishment and deep emotion is so immense that the members, together with the audience, shed tears.

Q: You have accomplished such a great thing, but doesn't it mean that you have no more goals (since you've met it)?

Taemin: We do not stop at Tokyo Dome. I want to perform concerts in even more, bigger domes and I want to let even more people hear our music.

Q: On this day, it's been 2541 days since SHINee debuted. What is SHINee for Taemin?

Taemin: I've answered this every time, but they're really a family to me. They fill in whatever it is I'm lacking, and they're my sole sanctuary with whom I can depend on with peace of mind. We have had fights and we have gone through difficult times, but we are now at the point wherein we are comfortable and most honest with each other.

.

➤ translated from korean to japanese by umecocleskey

➤ please note that this is a 2nd degree translation: korean -> japanese -> english, so some nuances and words might've been lost in translation. please DO NOT take the interview literally/word for word.

➤ translation may not be 100% accurate.

➤ please do not repost without permission.

About the last point the translator made. Since they’re not actively translating anymore and don’t seem to really be involved in the fandom anymore either, I hoped it would be okay to repost it, also since I did credit them properly. If the the original translator keihissi somehow finds this and want me to take it down, please message me and I will do just that. /writtenaboutshinee