I'm sure for a lot of people who have been abused in the Catholic Church, seeing and hearing all this fuss over Benedict's death and funeral is probably deeply triggering and a slap in the face. The trauma you have and the pain you feel is valid and real, and no amount of covering up and excusing abuse by the Church, laity and clergy alike will ever completely destroy the truth.

Alright, I'm going to write my own thoughts down on the situation, sorry if this gets rambly

First of all, Shubble is so brave for speaking up, it's really hard for victims to speak up against there abusers in a public setting and she deserves all the respect in the world for it

That being said we do need to be mindful to give her space, this was a really traumatic thing for her and we all need to be mindful of that, give her room to breath.

On the same lines, don't go after other ccs for not ""releasing statements"", content creators aren't companies, there people. Don't get on at them for not publicly supporting Shubble, especially since there undoubtedly doing it in private, which is probably better than shoving it out there for millions of people to see. Let people support there friend in a way they and shubble are confortable with, if shubble wants them to say something or they think they need to say something themselves, they will say it.

It's like Pearl said, just because you don't see something happening publicly doesn't mean it isn't happening

Also, don't jump to call Tommy or Phil or Grian or anyone else enablers because they haven't said anything, they'll need time to process this too, it's hard to find out that your friend is a domestic abuser, let them process this in piece and don't try to cancel them over nothing like a fool. (People like Tommy will need time especially since Wilbur befriended them when they were young and by all accounts manipulated them too)

If anyone of these people have anything they feel they need to say they'll say it when there good and ready, good life tip folks:Don't Harass People. Especially if they have almost nothing to do with this (honestly Saw someone say they were going to go on to fucking RT about this despite him not knowing either person very well, the fuck)

I know why people do it, they want to make sure there favourite content creators aren't also bad, but they are people and they deserve respect, I can garentee you that almost no Qsmp or Hermitcraft or Other MCYT member who knew him stands with Wilbur

(Also if anyone brings Techno into this fuck right off let the man rest.)

Also, some brain dead morons are saying that people calling out wilbur are doing it for clout and that they should have done it sooner, but most of the abuse happened in private, and wilbur manipulated others, many wouldn't have realised anything was wrong and if they did its still better and more respectful to come forward after shubble since its HER story to tell.

(This attack also doesn't work anymore because we have things like tubbos stream, where he actively discourages his chat from treating him like a hero for speaking out, but yeah sure they all don't give a shit about shubble and just want to make themselves look better, fuck outta here)

Now, if your a former wilbur fan, let me make this super clear

DONT WATCH HIM AND DONT LISTEN TO HIS MUSIC

"BuT SePuRaTe ThE ArT FrOm ThE Arti-

Nah. That doesn't work here. You can separate a book or game or movie, you can't with a cc. Its there face, there voice, there personality. Find a different band, find a different CC to watch. There are other options, I know it sucks to find out someone you like did an awful thing,but that doesn't mean we should support those people for our sakes, especially when people were actively hurt by there actions. Trust me everyone, this will get better, things will go back to how they were before

Finally, this should go without saying, Fuck William Gold to the core of teh fucking earth. And any who still support him.

He is a raging egotistical manipulator and abuser. don't blame people for not seeing it sooner, no one can do that. What we can do though is blame people who still wholeheartedly support him and his actions.

He has not "changed" nor will he ever at the rate at which he's going. He's still a egomaniac who's more concerned with saving his image than actually apologising for his actions, even then an apology wouldn't fix all he's done,it would just be closer and a jumping off point to be better, but he can't even fucking do that.

If wilbur does reflect and grow, good on him, but if he doesn't then I can say with absolute certainty we wouldn't fucking miss him.

Fuck Wilbur. Support Shelbym

I will always be so sad and angry that Eragon never recognized how horribly the elves treated him and that no one else helped protect him from it either. Oromis is so insidiously and inexcusably cruel to him and Eragon truly deserved the chance to escape that and see the damage he caused, and also to then beat Oromis into a bloody pulp. And Glaedr too, honestly. He's mostly gone unscathed in my past rants, largely because at least his personality isn't so insufferable, but he ain't shit either. He's fully complicit in all of Oromis's vile abuse, and adds to it himself in certain places. They more than earn Eragon's ire, but they all constantly belittle him and insist that they inherently know better than him about everything, and poor Eragon believes them, so he doesn't fight back. No!!! Every misgiving you have about them is true, and not only should you stand your ground, but you should also start maiming them!!!!!

Oromis's mannerisms are respectful, kind, and gentle, but they in no way indicate his actual feelings. It just serves as a guise, while their actions demonstrate that both he and Glaedr don't have a single shred of respect for Eragon. They don't trust him, they don't put faith in him, they don't care about his wellbeing, and they have so much contempt for him. And they do all that while they take everything from Eragon, demanding he sacrifice himself constantly, and not always just in the interest of beating the Empire! In some cases it's solely an expression of their resentment of him or a way to cut away at the parts of him they don't like.

And Eragon gives them everything, so earnestly and generously. Then they give him jack shit. They only give him whatever suits their intention to use him as a weapon, and even in that, they pick and choose things to withhold according to their disdain for him. Contempt is all he gets in return for his trust and loyalty.

And it makes me sad how Saphira isn't there for him in this. In her defense, she's very young and they harm her also by prioritizing her utility to them over anything else, which she sadly does not recognize either. But beyond that, the elves and Oromis and Glaedr specifically treat her far, far better than they treat Eragon. She's in no way responsible for their actions, but there are places where she enables the abuse. Most often through overlooking it, but sometimes when Eragon rightfully balks at their mistreatment, then turns to Saphira for her input, she tells him, "I trust them and I think you should be deferring to them."

Eragon is so earnest and compassionate and he deserves care, both in the form of other people caring about his wellbeing, and also through the chance for him to learn how he can and should care for himself. Yet at the end of the series, he's so conditioned to accept manipulation and abuse and I just want my poor boy to have a chance to rest and HEAL 😭

Since GOT they’ve been using rape and abuse to humble or break a woman/Girl because they aren’t the “right” kind of woman. They don’t ride a dragon or yield a sword. They don’t fight against their period typical role in life that they were born and raised in. They’re not “A guys girl” or the “I don’t have any girl friends, they’re too much drama” types who prefer the company of men to women, who would rather train with a sword and not learn embroidery. They don’t have dialogue that vaguely sounds more 21st century than Middle Ages.

These women are seen as of less value than our little dragon riding, sword and fist fighting tomboys. So they need to be taught that if you had just been more like this or more like that you wouldn’t have been brutalized and abused. The things that were done to you by other people is all your fault and you deserved it.

This show/franchise is not even in the same room as feminism.

👏👏👏 Nothing more to add anon. No lie was told.

The sad thing is, this is not what I got from the books of asoiaf at all. Women's experience was never told in juxtaposition to others. There is no humbling or brutalizing other women as a "punishment" for not being better, more rebellious, or bolder than others. The books tell stories of suffering and that's it. The way shows and fandoms decide to try and force other characters into another one's story for the sole purpose of comparing them so they prove that stanning one means having a moral high ground over another character's stans is the most idiotic thing to ever have happened among fandoms, to say the least. Especially when the two characters in question don't even know each other.

Just look at the way Sansa and Dany are treated in the fandom. Have a shot for every time Sansa in King's Landing is called a tradwife as if this wasn't a girl in middle school trying to survive they're talking about, or for every time she's called jealous of Dany. Imagine if a stranger girl with three dragons cames knocking on your door demanding that you and all of your people and their mama bend the knee to her and you are the jealous one and the villain because you just... Don't? Also, you deserve to be threatened with death when you pose a reasonable question, and you need to take it and be better and shut up. Then you're a "girls' girl" deserving of respect, etc.

We want strong female characters to think for themselves, except when that "thinking for oneself" isn't the same thing as kissing the ground the fan favourite girl walks on.

If only fandoms paid more mind to what makes a character likeable or unlikeable in their eyes BASED ON THE CHARACTER ITSELF, and not on their perspective on their faves, interacting with them would be way more fun. Books/shows like asoiaf/GOT or F&B/HotD aren't places where you just choose a character you like and that's it, she's an icon she's a legend and she is the moment. If it was, it would either be a story for kids or a hell for Mare Sues' fans. As long as you treat asoiaf characters like deities that can do no wrong and everyone else as villains in need of redemption, you should step back and read something else.

This is something that needs to be accepted even between writers and directors, btw. Just look at what F&B was turned into. Girlboss vs Girlfail. Blacks got the Girlboss, the virtuous rightful heir, good mother fine ruler, Greens' got the Girlfail, the rape enabler, the boy mom, the tradwife, you name it.

No, it doesn't matter that the latter is doing everything she can possibly do. She was a piece of shit the moment she stopped toiling behind the former because everyone is meant to be like or kneel before girlboss with dragon. Only then are your ambitions respectable. If not, fuck you, you're nothing. Everything that happens to you is your fault. I'll be in the front seats cheering for when everything you love is ripped brutally from you.

Even when your grown-up son rapes a maid. Even when girlboss with dragon threatens to put your people to the torch because you won't bend the knee.

TL;DR: There's no need to compare/stone certain female characters for being what they are instead of a completely different type. If all of them were tomboyish with swords or feminine with embroidery, it would be boring. You aren't better than anyone for having preferences. Also, learn how to blame men when they fuck up. It's great for the bowel.

See. The thing with SJ is he's a lot more closely related to the other MXTX main characters than SY himself. SJ worst deeds to the people really were all rumors or misunderstandings because those deeds specifically were him trying to do good and the world sort of fucked him over. When it comes to the cycle of abuse I don't factor SY in at all because why I should I he's essentializing an outsider roleplaying a character he got everyone to fall backwards for. He isn't in the equations he didn't do the abuse SJ did. Personally, I think it's a low bar to compare SY and SJ simply because one is obsessed and the other unbothered and uninterested. I mean that SY doesn't view these as genuine real people as he sees only himself and Binghe his idol as important and the rest as fodders. He views himself sorta like he wants plotpoint in PIDIW to happen only he not be taken center stage as the villain. Let's be real for a second, any person in the modern world have better ethics and morals than in PIDIW altogether because of the setting they live in why should we compare Shen Yuan who is lower than average when it comes to being good to Shen jiu in a setting where it normal to whip your disciples and not be called out for it as abuse because it's the norm.

Like what praise is there when it's a low bar to start with.

 SJ was a victim of harassment, physical assault, and social and verbal bullying for years when he was a disciple in CQ. LQG was compliant in letting his fellow disciples physically attack SJ throughout their disciple years, YQY was an enabler to both SJ and the others who spread rumors about him, SJ himself was isolated on Qing Jing, and both Qi Qingqi and Liu Qingge did not give SJ the respect he, as their senior, deserved. Also, the previous Peak Lords were enablers as well, considering they never set anyone straight about their behavior.

You all can easily say what SJ did wasn't right I'd fucking agree but look where they live do they have proper services for victims like him. He is a highly scarred trauma victim reacting and acting like a traumatized individual who never received treatment, received only continual stigma and abuse, was gaslit and isolated by everyone around him, and condemned as sinister, scheming, evil, lecherous, and immoral largely because he wasn't acting nice enough by their standards (again, trauma victim displaying traumatized behavior). Does he not deserve compassion because he acts like a real trauma victim rather than a fictionalized fantasy version of a trauma victim who is just sad and timid instead of realistically angry and defensive?

This poor man life was utter shit what peace did he get it. It sucks he took it out on created a bigger monster but damn I'd fucking blacken and kill myself for even less if I lived even a part of that life.

I'm not surprised they like SY more and it's funny because a lot of the shit they accuse him of being a rich spoiled it's SY right here. Like it kind of fit the memo SJ didn't really belong in the upperclass because he can't hide from his past he can't hide his scars and the way he fights dirty to survive because it's a part of him. But SY can he fits the bill well because he was a rich millennial kid with no additional baggage why wouldn't they choose him am I right (sarcastic) ?

.

vines I am staring at your MY canon divergence au and would love to hear more about it!!!

OKAY SO.

This AU exists for two main reasons:

1.) A lot of fix-it fic for JGY seems to focus on him being "saved" from his canon fate via romantic relationship, and that simply doesn't cut it for me. You really want to free him from the destructive weight of his misplaced filial piety in a way that doesn't just handwave it all away? You save his mom. You save his mom and enable them both to know JGS is a lost cause from the get-go and give them the means to forge a different path.

2.) WQ and MY are my faves and I want them to hang out!

As I said, I will almost certainly not write the whole thing out. I did post the inciting portion where MY actually arriving in Qishan and WQ starts treating MS, but as you can see, I did not finish it over the summer as intended, because I am the world's slowest writer. But I think about the ways it could go a lot! It's a little thing--just pushing a canonical event earlier in the timeline and changing the impetus--but it has SUCH impact. Aside from what I mentioned in the tags of that other post:

-MY no longer has any ties to Qinghe. He and NMJ can still clash (since MY is for all intents and purposes a Wen), but it's not personal in quite the same "I lived in your household for a substantial amount of time" sort of way

-WQ has someone she can talk to who's in similar straits! This is all based on CQL canon foremost, and what's striking to me about her is that she never gets to be a kid. Even at Cloud Recesses, while her peers are having a silly goofy time, she's on high alert doing WRH's work. WN's behavior suggests that he knows the vibe is weird, but he doesn't seem to understand exactly how fucked things are, which in turn implies that WQ is deliberately shielding him from it. That's so much stress that she's bottling up! With MY there in the same situation of abetting atrocities to protect beloved family members, at least she has someone to confide in (while their situations are juuuust different enough to conflict).

-MENG SHI REACTS TO: EVERYTHING. Those five sentences of information about her are so interesting. She's clever! She's shrewd! She's also compassionate, I feel, because MY had to get his altruism and his loyalty to those who show him kindness from SOMEWHERE, and he certainly didn't get it from his dad, WRH, or anyone else he grew up with. I have a whole backstory for her that I cannot write because hooo boy the effort required would not be worth the reward, but I want so much to explore how she'd respond to the fucked-up situation of being beholden to the Evil Regime. On the one hand, she knows the Wen clan under WRH are doing horrible things, and I don't think that would sit well with her. On the other hand... MY inherited his survival drive from somewhere, too. What does MS feel she owes to society when that society abused and degraded her?

-MS and WQ would also have some things to talk about on the "making great sacrifices for family" front, I think.

-Less seriously, XY meets MS and probably calls her a slur to be edgy, and she hits him right back but in a way that he finds fun rather than takes personally, and now she's on XY's list of People He'll Murder For On The Slightest Provocation.

-MY and/or MS might know about the core transfer and that sure is a fun piece of information for more people not named Jiang Cheng to possess!

-I think MS gets to date WZL firstly on account of WZL being a total catch who respects smart women going by his ??? with YZY, secondly on account of them both getting a lot of shit from society for their work (though the one who voluntarily disables people for a living is treated more respectfully by far bc this is a horrible garbage world!), and thirdly because MS is going to have to bear witness to Xiyao and Chengqing and she deserves something for herself there.

-I mentioned "what about after the war?" in the tags of that other post, but ahhh the Optimal Outcome here fixes EVERYTHING. JGS offers to legitimize MY. MY kind of wants to tell him to fuck himself, but realizes that his and MS are in a highly unstable position and he needs to go all-out on convincing people He Was A Good Guy All Along. (WQ and WN don't have that luxury with their Wen surname.) He accepts on the condition that prisoners are treated with mercy and MS is also granted security. JGS provides exactly neither of these things, as MS is either shunted off to a prison camp with the Wen remnants or she's isolated within Jinlintai as a means to keep MY compliant. How do we solve this? Unclear! Maybe XY finds out JGS is being a dick to Meng Shi, A Person He Likes, and he impales him about it. Regardless, we have MY and the Jiang sibs (plus Jiang-in-law Zixuan) all conspiring together, and in an ideal scenario, I believe in them.

-There are also a lot of sad messed-up ways this could go, but. I do not want it to this time. At least not for my two faves and MS. Everyone else........ debatable.

Again, I cannot stress enough that this is not ever going to be an actual longfic. I have written one (1) longfic ever and it was three years ago and not even that long. But it has POTENTIAL.

Submitted prompt: (untitled 5)

My only suggestion would be adding more male Ladybug holders, more female Black Cat holders, and nonbinary holders for both :)

After a while, Miraculous holders can speak with the spirits of past holders of that Miraculous.

Marinette gets the sympathy and support she needs from past Ladybugs.

First there's Bọ Rùa, who had to deal with her own fair share of racist and racist-enabling Frenchmen who wanted to date Asian women but didn't want to respect them.

Then there's Tentomushi, who has zero tolerance for rudeness and people who abuse their positions of power to inflict their will on others and saw a lot of that among men of wealth in her era.

Finally, Mudekudeku's Black Cat Miraculous Holder was in love with her, but he stopped flirting when he realized she wasn't interested and even supported her at her wedding, so she's advocating for getting the Black Cat Miraculous to someone deserving, rather than letting Adrien keep it.

Adrien, meanwhile, is getting dragged by past Black Cat Miraculous holders.

First there's Huyền Con Mèo, a mixed race French-Vietnamese Black Cat Miraculous holder who considers Adrien an embarrassment to all Frenchmen and proof chivalry is dead and buried. "You are every stereotype of a horny Frenchmen in existence simultaneously! Stop it! For God's sake, man, get it together!"

Then there's Toraokuro, who is absolutely furious that someone is taking this amazing power that could be used to help others, help the people of the city and those suffering under unjust systems, and is instead using it to play around and harass others like an entitled ten year old.

And finally there's Pakamali, who, like Mudekudeku, lived to be old enough to be married and have kids, and subsequently has an adult's take on superheroism, power and responsibility, and is furious with how Adrien's been acting. "I was in love with my Ladybug too - and you know what I did when she fell in love with someone else? I moved on with my life. Do you know why? Because she was happier with someone else. If you actually love someone, you don't view yourself as the only option for them! This isn't about true love, it's about you being selfish!"

By the time they're down having talks with their respective predecessors, Ladybug is feeling completely validated in her feelings, confident and ready to punch Chat Noir in the face.

The question now is, what is he like, after a night of being berated by the ghosts of literal superheroes? Does this, finally, get through to him? If he doesn't change, does Ladybug act on the advice of Ladybugs past and take his Miraculous from him?

For the love of god don’t post if anon fails but with regards to the creative red stuff I see where they’re coming from with pronouns. As a trans person myself I get verbal abuse daily from my immediate family who use it/its pronouns to degrade me because they think being transgender is “bullshit made up by people online” and just a phase I’m going through. I’ve had psychiatric appointments, medical counseling and therapy, and even had a psychiatric report diagnosing me with gender dysphoria among other mental illnesses to prove this is actually affecting my daily life.

When my psychiatrist talked to my parents about family counseling to help them understand my trans identity, my parents took me away from the psychiatrist for “enabling my delusions”. They throw out my opposite gendered clothing, they constantly raid my room looking for anything I’m hiding, and they make it a point to antagonize me by using the wrong pronouns because “if you’re not going to accept you’re born a girl and are a girl then you don’t deserve to be called anything.” Being referred to as it/its is incredibly dehumanizing and degrading and I don’t care if someone wants to be referred to that way, I don’t have it in me to strip a person of their status as a living being and demean them by addressing them like an inanimate object. It’s so uncomfortable and stressful and it feels awful.

I struggle heavily with nounself/emoji/neopronouns too because of my mental illnesses and learning disabilities since they break sentence structure and don’t flow properly or they have varying pronunciations/uses and it’s difficult to remember how things work. I wouldn’t interact with people either if I can’t address them in a way I can understand because if I mess up it’s going to be the end of my social life since me messing up is going to get me labeled as a bigot or a LGBTphobic jerk when I’m not. There is truth to them being rehashed “attack helicopter” memes too which ARE harmful to the trans community.

You might think your pronouns are easy to understand and not hurting anyone but that’s not true. They are. They’re not guaranteed to be easily understandable to every other person. You’re actually just complicating things more and giving other neurodivergent people an even harder time than they might already be having, which makes the situation and stress worse.

I’m sorry to add to this topic mod but this is a matter that personally affects me every day and it hurts a lot. I have a mental wellness clinic appointment in the new year to find a therapist and my family has already said they’ll call the cops and report my car as stolen if they believe I’m going to the appointment to discuss my trans identity issues or seeking aid with transitioning. The reason they think it’s all fake bullshit is because people claim being trans is a choice and they’ve seen the emoji/nounself/neopronouns and they don’t believe in it. My psychiatric report that I brought home was even shredded and thrown out because it used my preferred name and pronouns and thus was “filled with bullshit”. I know that I’m not the only one negatively affected by these things either.

post related

nope fuck off your issues does not allow you to invalidate other people and misgender them in turn. it/it may be dehumanizing to you but to someone else might be exactly what they want to be called, same as you want your own pronouns acknowledged.

the fact you go on an entire spiel of how much your family thinks you're full of bullshit and then turn around and say other's pronouns are "attack helicopter" memes is a bigoted take. in short it basically reads: my gender identity is valid but yours aren't

and you sure did type out that the only reason you hide these insanely awful takes is solely to keep your social standing and not that you actually give a fuck about changing your perspective because clearly you don't think other neurodivergents might experience themselves differently or deserve to be respected for those choices

every reason you brought up has been an issue for YOU that YOU are then making OTHERS put above their own validation for YOURSELF.

just fuck off. use people's fucking pronouns it's not that fucking hard to not be a complete shithead. the LGTBQA+ umbrella is larger than you think and you don't get to draw a line of what is or isn't under that umbrella. it's for all of us. stop being selfish.

TW= child sexual assualt(?)

Looking for advice and validation ig

I'm not sure if this counts as sa, I want to know if it does count. When I was around 7years old, when I would lay in bed, sometimes my mom would take my pants off and touch,kiss and suck my private parts (I'm a girl btw). I thought it was normal so I let her do it. When she do it she would say that she's sad cuz she won't be able to do this anymore when I grow up, and bc of that she should do it alot rn. My family is very physically affectionate so no one thought it was unusual. Also my memory of this happening is blurry and not vivid, but I'm a 100% sure this happened a lot. I don't know if I'm just overreacting. Now she doesn't do that to me anymore but she still touches my butt even when I constantly ask her not to do it. She said she can do whatever she wants cuz she's my mom. She does the same thing she did to younger me to my younger brother rn, and it makes me really uncomfortable. Can u tell me if this is normal or not? It made me really uncomfortable and even now I'm afraid to change in front of people cuz I'm afraid they might do that to me.

Thank you so much if u answer this, yall are amazing 💓

- 💛

Hi 💛,

I'm so sorry about what happened and please know that her behavior is not normal or okay at all. It's one thing to be physically affectionate but this is much more than that. This can count as CSA, and it's understandable that it made you uncomfortable and anxious.

Consent is crucial in any physical interaction, including within family relationships. No one should engage in any form of sexual contact without your consent, and it's concerning that your boundaries are not being respected, even now. Just because she's your mother doesn't entitle her to your body, especially in a sexual way.

I also want to just point out that while it seems that your family may normalize this kind of behavior, that doesn't make it okay. Language creates ways of thinking and perceiving and so it can be hard to notice or name abusive behavior when the people around us don't frame it negatively. But it's important to know that abusers or those that harm others can be surrounded by people who enable said abuse, and so just because people might excuse this behavior, doesn't make it right.

Please know that you have the right to feel safe and respected in your own body. It's not your fault, and you deserve support and understanding. If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist can help you navigate and process your experiences, as well as develop healthy coping strategies.

I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

The question of justifiability is strange. Oppression doesn't justify these things, but cultivates it. Your morality isn't just what you would or wouldn't do, right? "X or Y hurt me, so I must hurt them." isn't the lone thought that leads to someone justifying an attack, bad things are bad, but not everyone will be able to develop that frame of reference for morality.

Imagine someone being starved, deprived of food, water, heat, left to rot with the bare mininum in a cage with their only human contact being violence. The question of their retaliation would usually be framed with the question of whether or not it's justfied, a lot of people would say yes, I guess. But does framing it that way actually make the situation any better? Because you could say that it'd be justified if it was bare mininum self-defence, but is someone who has lived in that way actually going to be someone who even developed their ability to idk think about those things?

I'm willing to bet that when it comes to mental illness that you probably understand that someone's actions don't exist in a vacuum, right. Sorry.

Part One:

I understand that individuals’ actions don’t exist in a vacuum. In fact that’s a large part of why so many of the responses I’ve gotten to this subject are so upsetting and have severely impacted my mental health. (I’ll get to that more in “Part Two”)

I’m not interested in framing things only in terms of justifiability, but I also don’t think that’s a framework that can be totally disregarded—it’s still an important lens to employ when talking about any conflict.

And you mention mental illness. Sure, that doesn’t exist in a vacuum, but if a mentally ill person rapes someone or murders them I believe it’s necessary to not give them the power or opportunity to continue to do that. They deserve care for their illness, a safe place for them to heal, & respect for their autonomy & dignity. But they do not deserve people turning a blind eye to the abuse or enabling them in it, right?

So it’s important to recognize when that happens so that it can be prevented.

And I’m not disagreeing with the idea of understanding Hamas’ actions in part as a product of Palestinian trauma, but we can’t shrink that discussion of context to one group or brush aside how these actions are part of a cycle that is creating more violence & trauma for both Palestinians and Israelis—as well as broader Jewish, Arab, and Muslim communities.

As if Israel’s excessive violence isn’t also a product of trauma. As if both Palestinians and Israelis didn’t enter the conflict severely traumatized by a lot of similar things, and haven’t continued to traumatize each other over and over throughout the conflict.

Not to mention, another problematic aspect of this shrinking of context in these asks & comments that lay the actions of Hamas at the feet of Israel is that it treats Palestinians like they don’t have free will, as if they’re animals or a force of nature who don’t know better or can’t avoid committing atrocities. And that’s dehumanizing. They can—and most of them do. Most Palestinians are not doing what Hamas is doing. Plenty hate Hamas, and are regularly traumatized by them.

Israel is not an all-powerful puppet master or the source of all problems in this conflict. It has more power, but it’s not the only entity with any agency here. There is absolutely a cycle of violence where Hamas is motivated by trauma from Israel’s violence, and Israel is motivated by trauma from Hamas’s violence—and it goes on and on and on.

Part Two:

I need you to understand that the context of me talking about Israel-Palestine this week (my post about Hamas) was seeing a bunch of leftists swallowing & regurgitating tropes that come from ancient antisemitic libels, and these leftists insisting that Israelis can only be understood as colonial invaders (nay, even comparable to Nazis) who forfeited their right to live by settling in Israel, while Palestinians can only be understood as victims who must be given carte blanche to expel Israelis from the region “by any means necessary” (which for Hamas, does not exclude genocide). The context of my post was leftists being ignorant and acting like we should turn a blind eye to anything bad Hamas does and enable them in it, and leftists saying a bunch of heinous, antisemitic shit. So I made a post telling leftists: don’t do that.

Anything anyone has said to me about Hamas or Israel or Palestine since is said in the context of me telling leftists who are saying antisemitic shit and want to give power to an organization that has not been shy about what it will do with that power why it’s a bad idea to get in bed with them and lift them up as heroes who need to be given that power.

So surely you can understand how upsetting it is for me to be facing a bunch of antisemitism, for me to say “hey, let’s support the Palestinians in a way that doesn’t make my life dangerous here and enable genocide against my people there” and then to be flooded with hundreds of people telling me to kill myself, that every Israeli deserves to be shot, that Jews control the media and banks, that I’m part of a conspiracy to deflect attention away from Israel’s crimes, that I didn’t mention [thing I said multiple times], that I didn’t take into account [thing I clearly am taking into account], that I wasn’t hard enough on Palestine, that I wasn’t hard enough on Israel, that I’m too hard on both of them, Israelis telling me they’re worried about their friends and family who are missing and presumed dead, and then people like you coming up and being like “yeah, but what about context?” or “okay that sucks, but like… why are you surprised? it’s Israel’s fault”

If you want to talk about context, that is the context you are entering here. So please understand why my patience with this line of philosophizing is paper thin.

Did you ask Boxly, Mot, or Parvana about their feelings on those conversations they had with Glip and Pengo? Did you even ask them if it was ok to post those screenshots? It feels like you're undermining the victims, their privacy, and their safety in favor of attacking Glip and Pengo.

I know what you're doing but ok I'll take the bait. First off, what privacy? Those logs are hosted on a public server in a semipublic channel where all you need to do to access it is publish a one sentence bio with a floraverse character.

There is a second also semipublic channel dedicated for onlookers to look at what is going on in a scene and talk about it.

By Glip and Pengos insistence, it's not therapy (and they're right. It's not.) It is supposedly just normal fandom behavior in a discord server. There is no expectation of privacy of any of the participants.

What purpose does it serve to keep this public content as "private" as possible?

I think you know the answer, abusers like Glip (and I'll say it, Pengo.) have power in public abuse to the in-group, but it being "private" to the out-group. There is power in having people put themselves through these sessions of being treated like dirt with a smile and a "thanks" from the victim to a gallery of their peers in the in-group.

It creates group think. That this is acceptable. That these people deserved it, with the threat to those in the in-group that watched on that if they are a hair out of line: they're next. There is power of that level of publicity.

But onlookers who are in the outgroup, which is anyone who reads those screenshots on this blog and isn't in the floraverse server are different. Onlookers in the outgroup don't have that threat of being next over their head, they're not influenced by the group think that this is all normal and acceptable. They can read the information provided, seek out other information both provided by Glip and not and come to their own conclusions.

And with their own conclusions about the behavior Glip has standardized within their community, they are able to dangerously (to the abusers.) discuss the abuse.

When someone in the in-group sees what happens to someone in the in-group paired with commentary from those in the out-group who can see past the bullshit - it creates seeds of doubt that this is acceptable, which loosens the abusers grip on them. With the added bonus of being a clear warning to out-group onlookers who are interested in joining the in-group what they're really in for once they get comfortable in the in-group. Abusers lose power over the abused on that level of publicity, so now, suddenly, it's "private".

I'll be curt, you are disingenuous and are only interested in maintaining Glip / Pengos abusive network.

We do respect the victims privacy, there are things that we should have posted but didn't due to the sensitivity of it. But to outright refuse to showcase the abuse only serves to further enable it. To which I say, no thanks.

An (Amphibia) opinion I feel like repeating

So, this a a more fleshed out version of an older post on the same subject. I'm just sharing this 'cause, like the title says, I feel like throwing it out into the void again.

Anyway…

I don't actually like the "don't be afraid of change" moral.

I don't think it's bad - that's a good lesson for people to learn no matter their age.

I just don't think there's enough in the show to really support it being the core message.

I mean, think about the lessons Anne (along with the Plantars) learned in each episode throughout the series. Almost all of them have to do with how to treat others: trusting others, respecting other's boundaries, not forcing them into things they don't want to do, not making assumptions and jumping to conclusions about others, recognizing behavior that hurts others, not being a selfish prick, trusting others and their abilities, giving others a chance at forgiveness and letting others build up to that forgiveness…

The only episode I can think of that supports "don't be afraid of change," other than The Hardest Thing, is Little Frog Town - but only 'cause it's the literal message of the episode.

Honestly, I think a better, more strongly supported moral for the show should have been the importance of having and maintaining healthy relationships, and recognizing toxic behavior in yourself and others.

Focusing on Anne for a bit, a lot of her arc in season one had to with what an actual friendship looks like - starting with Best Fronds - and becoming more attentive to others' needs and boundaries and be less self-centered while also learning that she deserved the same treatment, that last one culminating with her standing up to Sasha in Reunion; and a big part of her arc in season 2, as already mentioned, was learning forgiveness and giving others a second chance - a lesson she explicitly shared with Sasha in season 3.

We can throw in Sasha and Marcy, too, since Anne's relationship with them is so central to her and the overall story. A big part of Sasha's arc was realizing her controlling behavior and disregard for others' boundaries was pushing them away from her rather than keeping them close (the episode with barrel's Warhammer is a rather straightforward example - heck, we see Grime had learned this before her; respecting Braddock and Percy's decision to bail and showing no ill will towards them). While Marcy's (season two) arc had her learning to be less oblivious and more aware of the impact her actions had on those around her - the First Temple, again, being a straightforward example of this (though it focused more on Anne and Hop Pop's conflict).

Heck, I'd even argue that the biggest conflicts stem from some form of toxicity in a relationship: Sasha and Marcy bullying/pressuring Anne into things she clearly doesn't want to do; Anne and Sasha being neglectful of Marcy's emotional needs (hell, it's suggested in season 3 that this is a factor in why Marcy did something so extreme and drastic); Marcy and Anne enabling Sasha's controlling habits - yes, that is toxic behavior; Andrias' manipulative treatment of Marcy; Aldrich's manipulative and abusive treatment of Andrias; all the times Anne and the Plantars butted heads against each other (like Stakeout and Sprig vs Hop Pop)…

I think y'all get what I mean at this point.

So, there you go. I think "have healthy relationships" is a better-fitting message for the show than "don't be afraid of change."

P.S. a few things I want to admit real quick: I haven't re-watched the show beyond some S1 episodes, and I neglected watching S3-A, so there's probably some stuff I'm missing. I just had this on my mind and just needed to get it out. Again.

Real late addition: So, a while ago I got a response for this on Reddit that's kinda stayed with me, so I feel I should make a clarification.

Yes, change is a constant, major theme in the series. That's something I don't deny.

But, the "change" the moral and Anne's ending speech refers to is focused on inevitable change; that change is something that happens and it's better to adapt to it, rather than resist it.

The change we see throughout the series, however, has always been about personal improvement. Changing yourself to be a better person; something that, in the show, leads to Anne and her friends and family treating each other much better than at the start, improving and strengthening their relationships. Which lends itself to the whole "importance of healthy relationship" moral I think the show should've gone with.

I feel the examples I gave in my main argument provide enough evidence to support my point.

venting

i can't wait to tell my mother's therapist on Wednesday how she's been treating me after our family therapy session. I brought up what was bothering me because that is what the therapist asked us to do. Mother fucking freaks the fuck out on me after because i hurt her feelings.

I hurt YOUR feelings? all because I said "I feel like she only texts me because she needs something from me"

How about how you hurt ME my whole entire fucking life? mentally, verbally and emotionally abusing me? So many people saying I have undiagnosed PTSD and I should go to individual therapy because of how YOU and dad treated me my whole life? How I'm not "allowed" to speak to my own aunts because I see them as my mother figures because I can't even SPEAK to you without you self-pitying yourself and guilt-tripping the fuck out of me? Go fuck yourself. Every woman in my family who are older than me are my mother figures and I will always see them as so more than I ever will see you. You wonder why I don't want to visit you. I get such bad anxiety and I break out in painful hives at the THOUGHT of seeing you.

I hate the fact that you ABUSE your mother, my grandmother and she's an 89 year old woman who doesn't deserve any of this shit. I will literally defend my aunts and grandmothers before I even think about defending you. They have my back, they CARE about me, and treat me like a human being that have feelings and thoughts and opinions. They treat me with respect and that is what family is about.

I keep discovering the so many skeletons in your closets and I am APPALLED. No one is telling me what to think, say or do and I don't know why in your fucked up mind makes you think that way. I'm not a fucking robot.

I hate the fact that it's so hard to cut you off from my life. It doesn't help that my enabling father and brothers defend you and try to guilt me. I am the black sheep of the family for all I care. I will not allow myself to be a puppet and walked over on. I AM my own priority.

Go. Fuck. Yourself.

The dress tearing scene has always been so distressing since I was a child. I never stopped to think about how it was her own mother's dress the sisters tore until years later. I remember always getting really scared when Drizella got up in Cinderella's face "you ungrateful little" and simultaneously being upset like dealing with their abuse was a privilege in their heads

That scene, for me too, is horrifying. I remember placing my blanket over my head when I watched it as a toddler because I couldn't bear what they were doing to her. I also think what you're pointing out is such a salient moment because Cinderella's literally wearing their rags, like that's what they're tearing away from her, but it's her dignity that they're attempting to desecrate. Cinderella is someone who survived abuse with her self respect maintained and Drizella can't stand that. Drizella is the one that discarded the sash and beads, etc, along with her sister, when they were brand new...but Cinderella's the ungrateful one for wearing someone else's trash? It just goes to speak to how much higher they view themselves than Cinderella, and they think her receiving their abuse and mistreatment is better than she even deserves because that's how little they think of her. Don't forget that Anastasia also physically attacked Cinderella and verbally abused her that night. That's why I will forever be uncomfortable with people who thought Anastasia was always nice and it was just Drizella and Lady Tremaine that misled her. If that's the case, why didn't Cinderella ever stoop to their level, given she was mistreated far more than any of them put together? But I think the current discourse around abuse is focused on empathy, which is good, but it's also beginning to enable patterns and this is a whole other topic I could get into but I'll stop here lol

Gosh the way you worded that was so manipulative! You were defending yourself and giving reasons why people deserve to be abused by you while simulateously self-flagellating, threatening suicide and callimg yourself a 'monster' which you clearly don't actually believe otherwise you wouldn't have also listed all of those excuses and defences like 'my manager leaves sticky cans around' and 'my therapist said my mom doesn't respect boundaries when I was a child'. Not once have you expressed any empathy for your mom or anyone else, you're just talking about yourself. You're clearly trying to guilt people into condoning your actions and comforting you, which many of your followers will now do because they feel sorry for you because of your classic manipulative covert narcissist tactic of 'cry and self flagellate when I get called out so people feel bad enough to ignore/excuse my abusive behavior and comfort me'. It pisses me off that so many people are going to fall for this, that's how it always goes with people like you. Shit, 99% of my clients only present to the clinic because their abuse escalated to the point of criminal violence and mandatory treatment orders, their lives are just full of enablers who buy this guilt-tripping strategy that narcs always employ to avoid accountability and get validation. They think their insecurity is an excuse to abuse people, and they use their perceived criticisms of others as a pass to not feel guilty for treating people like shit while expecting princess treatment from others. If you really feel that guilty, TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY. Anything else is a cop-out

I'm not even trying to be like this. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I feel like I've already tried everything I can.

I'm just saying how I feel? I'm giving examples of why I'm frustrated? I've spent my whole life trying to be better and recover and try medicines and just be normal and I'm constantly being told I'm getting worse and worse and now I have more responsibilities than ever

I guess I just. I guess I'm a quitter. My entire life whenever I get so overwhelmed I literally just have to step back because I physically can't handle it anymore and I guess this is no different.

I never wanted special treatment. I just want basic respect. I just want apologies when I'm wronged. I want people to acknowledge when things aren't my fault. I want the things I do and say to matter

If me just trying to say how I feel is manipulative without even trying, when I'm literally just trying to say exactly how I feel, and my inherent nature as a person itself is manipulative, then. I'm accidentally the kind of person I hate the most.

Honestly what you're saying is only reinforcing what I'm feeling. I've been trying so hard to keep myself calm because everything with my mother is escalating to the point where I'm afraid I might hurt her. If you genuinely think I'm just like all these violent people who ligerallt had to be locked away. Then I have to take care of myself before I hurt anyone

Hi I just started following you today and I'm too shy to come off anon and I just saw this post

And I have a suggestion and some advice. You don't have to listen to it, I just thought I'd go out of my way as someone who's been bullied and abused as well.

Firstly, K has shown who she is, your mother and sister have shown that they're enabling what she did to you as a child. And honestly? Them not giving a shit about is telling of who they are. Do NOT go to her wedding. If anyone asks why it is YOUR choice to spill what happened all of those years ago and if you do make sure you say 'I just didn't want to be around my bully and abuser.' It's up to you if you want to though.

Secondly, I would make sure you ask your grandmother if you can move in with her. Your mother and sister have shown they don't care about you and what you've been through. You deserve to live with someone that cares about you and understands. It will improve your mental health and help you see a little bit clearer. The choice is yours. I've been bullied throughout my childhood and I've been abused by a family member, it's not fun to go through and I shouldn't have had to.

We should not shove our own well being away for those that have shown that they simply do not care about us. If they don't care about you or respect you, make sure to reflect that.

I hope this helps you.

Also, if you do end up living with your grandmother make sure that she helps you get everything you own along with your birth certificate, SCC, and any other important documents that you have.

I just saw this as I went through my asks and can I just say that you are amazing? I'm sorry that you went through bullying and abuse, it's definitely not something that anyone should have to go through.

The wedding got called off (A whole box of worms that, let's just say, made me say Karma) So I don't have to worry about that anymore.

My grandmother would absolutely let me live with her, but she doesn't like cats and I can't leave my two fur babies.

Also, though K was abusive and a bully, and my mother and sister were a bit of enablers, my family isn't bad enough for me to want to leave them. Sure, they can be wrong, and we fight and sometimes I have to leave to clear my head, but I still love them.

They may never understand K and I's relationship and understand why what they said was wrong, but at least I have people like my grandmother and you who will listen and be there with support and advice.

thank you so much for reaching out Anon and I hope that where you are now, you're happy.

Sincerely,

Rose