#absolutely flat back there
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old man divorced yuri
#bigtop burger#zombtop#cesare x steve#this is stupid but i know yall are here for it#i find myself most swayed by absolutely sickeningly fluffy stupid cliche scenarios moreso than straight up romance idk. let me have this#touchig hands ... oug#also cesare has 0 ASS#absolutely flat back there
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They both try to take each other's shirt off at the same time while saying: let me-- if you--- i can-----
(every day i think about THE CHART)
#blade would absolutely be accommodating after the initial 3 seconds of struggle#Option A. flop down flat on his back and say OK!!! GO FOR IT YAKUMO!!!#Option B. lift yakumo up into his arms and say OK!!!! LEAVE IT TO ME YAKUMO!!!!!!#eiden standing outside the bedroom door listening closely for any sounds of progress?#more likely than you think#just imagining that one post a while back that was like#Switches when They decide who's topping tonight: [LEG WRESTLES FOR DOMINANCE]#nu carnival#nu carnival blade#nu carnival yakumo
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Painting
Modern!Eddie Munson x Female!Reader
Contains: nudes, mutual masturbation, phone sex
18+ only
Eddie flopped face down onto his mattress with a sigh. After working all day, playing at the Hideout, and then hauling all of the bands' equipment, he was wiped. He wanted nothing more then to smoke and go to sleep. His phone pinged with a notification. A contact under the name "Loser" had messaged him, causing a split second of confusion before a lazy grin spread across his face when he realized it was you (he had forgotten he changed it when high). You had been unable to come see Corroded Coffin play tonight as you had made previous plans.
Loser: How did it go?? Good?? Bad??
Loser: Was that one chick who wants to be a groupie there??
Eddie: went ok. Y u jealous?
Loser: just curious lol
Eddie: sure. Wbu?
Loser: Good! Robin and Nancy came. We had a nice dinner. We did paintings! Robin's looks better then mine. Mine looks like shit 😔 now just taking a bath and relaxing.
Eddie: show me?
Loser: lol no???
Eddie: y not? I'm sure it good
Loser: you sure?
Eddie: yes
Loser: fine
Eddie doubted your painting looked bad. You always tore yourself down, even when you did amazing things. He always wanted to throttle you, but knew he would be a hypocrite if he did. Eddie rolled onto his back and looked at the ceiling. He would convince you one day that you were awesome, but until then he would just have to keep reminding you. His phone dinged with a new message from you. He opened it and saw a picture attached and-
Immediately dropped his phone. His heart picked up speed. His eyes widened and face flushed. Eddie dove for the phone as if it were a life preserver and he was drowning. He couldn't believe his eyes. He licked his lips and stared at his phone.
A picture from your neck down. Bubbles in the bath around you. Water was running down your collarbone towards your tits. Your nipples barely covered by the bubbles. One boob having no bubbles around it at all, but your hand flipping him off blocked him from seeing more. He was greedy. He wanted to see more, and had never imagined you would send him this to begin with. Eddie looked down at the tent that had formed in his boxers.
Loser: ask nicely next time 😤
Eddie groaned and his dick twitched. You had totally misunderstood him, he had wanted to see your painting- of course he was more then glad for this outcome. However, he couldn't quite unsee what you had sent, nor would he want to. Eddie reread your text. Next time means more than just this once. Means maybe he could see more. Means maybe he has a better shot with you then he thought. He already overthought things with you many times, and now his brain had just switched to overdrive.
A million thoughts ran through his head as his hand traveled south. He paused briefly," Oh fuck it." He grabbed his dick over his boxers, causing the outline to be very noticeable. He took a pic before sending it to you. He would have felt bad about not sending a message with it, but he would have sat there for ages trying to think of a response. And he couldn't find it in himself to care as he pressed lightly against his dick.
He dropped his phone on his stomach. All Eddie could think about was you as he pulled his dick out of his boxers. Your soap covered tits. How beautiful they looked.. He licked his hand before slowly grasping his dick and squeezing the base, causing the tip to flush more. The pressure causing him to moan. He slowly stroked up and down his length. He picked up the pace, canting his hips up to meet his hand. Part of him wanted to go slow, but the rest of him wanted to get this over with quick so he could do it again and again and again. His chest heaved and sweat started to form on his brow. A sigh fell from his lips that quickly turned to a moan at the thought of it being your hand wrapped around him. How small your hand would look on his dick. How-
His stomach tensed and he jolted as his phone started vibrating and your ringtone played. The vibrations on his lower stomach felt so good, he was tempted to let it keep playing, but the urge to hear your voice was stronger. With his free hand he grabbed the phone and answered. "H-hello?" Eddie asked, panting into the phone. "Oh fuck, Eddie," your voice higher than normal sounded like music to his ears. Eddie moaned and your response was a whimper. "Fuck babe, see what you do to me?" Eddie's voice felt like sandpaper, he was surprised he could even find words. "Uh-huh." The sound of water splashing caught Eddie's attention," holy shit. Are you touching yourself?" "Wish it were you."
Eddie's mind went fuzzy as he picked up speed. The schlick noise picking up, his mind filtering out everything except your moans. "Sound so good. Wish I was there." Eddie mumbled, feeling his tip leaking generously. He was so close. "Fuuuck Eddie I'm gonna-" your sentence was cut off with a moan and he lost it. His hips bucked without rhythm and cum spurted everywhere. He never understood the phrase of people seeing stars behind their eyes until now, but they were more like fireworks. He had never cum this much in his life, not even when he had first found porn.
He slowly came back down, a euphoric feeling enveloping him. A warmth spread in his chest as it heaved, trying to catch a breath. He looked down and saw his shirt covered with his release. Your chuckle pulled him back to earth. "Uh so that happened...so whatcha gonna do about it Munson?" He hummed," Think i should ask you for a date." "You should."
Eddie had the biggest grin when you finally got off the phone, date planned for Friday night. He looked down at your contact name before changing the s to a v. He was going to find that painting you did and make sure it hung over his bed, so he could remember this night forever.
#Eddie eventually tells you about the misunderstanding and you just become more and more embarrassed#You asked him to delete the pic out of embarrassment and he goes on and on about how it is art and how beautiful it is and refuses#He later comes back to you and tells you if you want him to delete it he will and you just laugh and tell him to keep it#He agrees tho that your painting does suck to which you say “yeah I do” and give him a pointed look and he doesn't catch on#Until you huff and grab him and look him in the eyes and flat out tell him what you're offering#Shoutout to my friend who did this to me (it was a clothed pic tho) and I went BRO? and immediately clarified#But it started this thought and it wouldn't shake me loose until I wrote it so here yall go#Idk how to end things and idk how to write smut so take this and do with it as you will#My dumbass over here getting too lost in my own mind to write well fjdjsls#Eddie Munson#Modern!Eddie Munson#Eddie Munson x reader#Eddie Munson/reader#Eddie Munson x y/n#Eddie Munson x you#Eddie Munson/you#Eddie Munson smut#Eddie Munson x female!reader#Stranger Things#Also Eddie absolutely uses only text speech and you get frustrated with it#Jade is Talking
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me in big fandoms: oh cool, it's so active and there's so many people to vibe with, this is amaz-
*finds my niche angle that appeals to approximately six people*
me: okay, folks, it's you and me now
#doctor who#shaun temple#doctor x donna#donna noble#fourteen x donna#doctordonna#fourteendonna#donna x shaun#this used to be how romantic doctordonna felt back in the day#but now it's wanting to know why shaun is how shaun is#like why are you THAT chill with all this#what life experiences have led you to this place#and where the lines where he would actually get frustrated with the doctordonna shenanigans are#coming up with a reason is more interesting than just blaming it on a flaw in the writing#though that absolutely may be what it is#why he can seem a bit flat#because rtd does not have a great history with black characters#for the record#i respect the different takes#mostly#but i always seem to do this with something#and overall i think donna might have a more complicated time adapting to the new situation than either shaun or the doctor#but let's not reduce shaun to a cardboard cutout
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Just because r/fuckmoash thinks Moash is the worst person in the Stormlight Archive doesn't mean he's actually portrayed that way, like you can actually look in the books and see what Brandon wrote instead of taking the worst parts of Stormlight reddit as gospel
#characters that are treated like flat villains more than moash: amaram taravangian sadeas ialai lezian ulim roshone mraize gavilar lamaril#*inhales* hashal aesudan nale lin rayse ruthar I COULD GO ON#is moash an antagonist? absolutely.#does that inherently mean the narrative has marked him with the Evil Stamp? no. for fuck's sake.#'brandon thinks moash is the only irredeemable character' i don't know how to break this to you but it appears you didn't read the books#stormlight archive#stormlight archive spoilers#i'm back and in my hater era
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pop up parade aki!!!
#no ass. and all DICK#the bakery went fucking bankrupt there's absolutely no cake#no really he's so damn flat#there is absolutely nothing#lol he's so much cuter irl than in the pictures#I'm glad they changed the pop up parade based because these ones are much nicer#his cute faaaaaace...#he's very detailed for such a little thing#I like the details on his clothes and the back of his tie with the short part tucked in#a silly face that I want to kiss#aki <3
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slash did disrespect the dead but at least he's not leaving the bodies out to rot like a spectacle for all to see. HORRENDOUSLY low bar, i know, but ... eugh
Like... he left Misty's corpse out there for at least a day, maybe longer. Wind Runner and Gorse HAPPENED to find it, and that lead to the Bumble death scene. Clear Sky disrespecting the dead was a relevant plot point.
But the team doesn't remember their own books so they've just totally forgotten that!
#The thing i keep circling back around to is how PAINFUL it is that they cannot have villains with nuance#You're either Evil or Misguided#Slash is a BORING villain. He's flat and one note. So badly written that I hope they are ashamed of themselves#Clear Sky is what real monsters and abusers ACT LIKE#He's a FANTASTIC villain. He's absolutely terrifying in how he is forever framing himself as a victim#He forces the world to move and calls its screams of pain an injustice to his heroic heart#But the erins swoon at it and buy his justifications wholesale#The 'redemption' was just EXONERATION#APOLOGIA#And it ruins him. Makes him the absolute worst character ever put to pen in this series imo#Dotc hate
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When chatting and screwing around in the discord leads to an accidental but beautiful collab with @kiliinstinct
Huge shoutout to Kili for prompting this and ensuring Xiao didn't stay stuck being epic only in my sketchbook ✨
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Original sketch was by me, Kili did the lines and the flats, and then I came back with the render. In-progress shots are underneath the cut:
#genshin impact#xiao#adeptus xiao#kiliinstinct#art collab#xiao is very blorbo shaped and he deserves the cool art#this was accidentally started when I realized that I had this sketch in my back pocket#but only posted him in a onesie#kili was absolutely fantastic#they did the linework and flats so fast#lit that motivation fire underneath me#it also helps that their love for their yaksha son is very contagious lmao#anyway this was very fun
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literally wanna dieeeee I realized belatedly that not only was down bad written for me due to being an alien abduction metaphor song but it perfectly describes my situation w/my ex who dumped me 3 days into our second vacation in his country
#but yknow thats what i get for dating a fucking man last year when i absolutely knew better. i was in a low place & the idea of being#whisked away from europe was an escape for me . we got along really well but the second i showed any emotional weakness he couldnt handle i#oh but he sent a bunch of messages begging me to come back when i was on the plane fleeing to my sisters london flat! lol!!!#i didnt tell you guys about any of this on my old blog when it was happening bc i just knew itd invite a flood of#''why were you even dating a man'' messages. yeah im aware. it was stupid & yet another result of my inability to purge myself of the#desire to be in a relationship my homophobic father wouldnt hate me for. and i didnt think any woman would want me . im over it now#fuck my abusive father fuck men in general im so over the internalized homophobia. ive always preferred women why should i have to#supress that to make my fuckface hypocrite father happy. i only rly care bc i love my half brother & want to be in his life which means#i have to appease dad. but at what goddamn cost#why did i say from europe in that earlier tag. i meant TO europe...im from the us#anyways. what a shit show situation that was. i have never felt so betrayed by anyone except for my dad himself#oh i didnt even mention the worst part yet. when i texted from london asking if our friendship was over too (god. so cringe) he then went#into this spiel about how actually what he said earlier when he was asking me to come back#(that it had been a stupid impulse & biggest mistake of his life) was a lie & it had been a long time coming#IF IT WAS A LONG TIME COMING WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME FLY ACROSS THR ATLANTIC FUCKING OCEAN 3 DAYS AGO FOR YOU#and said hed tell me the reasons but ''didnt want to hurt me''#i have so much hatred in my heart for this man to this day when i really think about the mind games he was playing. unreal.#and he KNEW i already had massive trust issues
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ok im sure it's probably a very small portion of my follower base that has watched all of tmnt 2003 but i'm like 5 episodes deep in s6/ fast forward and am I the only one who thinks this is boring and kind of bad.
#the new characters are all so flat compared to the really intelligent writing of the first 5 seasons#and they arent exploring any of the interesting implications theyre introducing#and i cant stand cody jones and sterling sorry. absolutely nothing characters#but worst of all the grittiness and rawness of the first 5 seasons is gone.#like what happened to red wedding episodes like scion of the shredder or the shredder strikes back etc. this is so safe#whats the point if the show is not threatening to destroy everything the characters love#also no casey and april this season which hurts my soul#hannah.txt#tmnt 2003#tmnt fast forward
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[jul 30, 2021] some low effort ferdinands that weren’t actually low effort when i drew them lol (oh and some ooc ferdibert doodles bc i liked them a lot (ignore huberts eyebrows i was stupid))
#ferdinand von aegir#hubert von vestra#ferdibert#fire emblem three houses#fe3h#i hate these lol but at the time i was trying my best#i was trying a more painterly style (compared to my regular flat shading style) and ehh its ok#i miss drawing ferdie tho ugh my bbg#fun fact! (or unfun sad fact) in my first playthrough of fe3h (crimson flower route) i didn’t use ferdie simply bc i found him annoying#but then i read that he was one of the most op units in the game and decided i was gonna use him in my next run (which ended up being silver#actually i loved using him sm that i WENT BACK to an old save of CF JUST to train him up and use him lol#hes one of my fav characters now <3 absolute babygirl of a man lol i’m 100% serious#2021#ashe art#ferdinand x hubert#hubert x ferdinand
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doing a walk of shame through the kitchen while my flatmate looks at me like 🤨 bc i did the TINIEST clothes wash the other day and she bollocked me bc she was like ‘you could at least bulk it up by washing your sheets’ but i was insistent i wasn’t gonna wash them for the sake of it and they didn’t need doing. only went and spilled coffee on them today and had to do another wash for them. she was so smug watching me load up the machine i think i should just be point blank forbidden from having hot drinks in my room. like a child
#she wasn’t acc fuming bc she knows out of all of us I’m the most neurotic about the bills#and she’s the spoilt flatmate that’s very laid back about it#but it’s BECAUSE of that dynamic that she was so smug she was acting like I’d fallen from grace#and SHES RIGHT#but also our energy package accounts for four people and we haven’t had four people in this flat for literal months#eternally hilarious that my bitch of a flatmate’s attempt to row with us not only ended so badly for her that she cried and kicked us#out of her room but now we don’t have to see her (major W) AND she still pays rent for somewhere she is actively not living#AND we get her share of the bills to do our own laundry and dishes etc#like we absolutely won in this scenario there’s no way she can play this off in a cool way it’s genuinely mortifying for her#hella goes to uni#also I spilled coffee everywhere NOT because I was trying to drink lying down I would never do that that’s so silly#but bc i swallowed it wrong and literally spat it out everywhere. 😐#the way I just sat there for a second like what… the fuck just happened
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my god. skinny people really just have like. No Idea huh just absolutely not a single clue lmao it's almost funny to watch fr but then id lie if i said i wouldn't fucking kill to be able to be that ignorant
#girl i am SO sorry people react with surprise when you say you're studying to be an opera singer because you're#*checks notes* skinny and attractive. so so sorry that must be literal hell for you huh how will you ever recover :((((#no no please keep talking about how equally bad that is to the brutal fucking fatshaming and ED glorifying#in the industry that me and the only other fat girl in the room were talking about before you interrupted us <3#anyway. we were talking about this one review of a quite famous professional music critic whose only comment about a fat mezzo in the cast#was 'miss xyz.... lose some weight'. not a single word about her singing/acting/whatever. but yeah no you're too sexy for an opera singer#and THAT is the real problem here girl i totally understand yeah <3 thoughts and prayers dearest.#earlier that same day this same girl was standing next to me in her bodycon dress and went#*pointing at her stomach that's so flat its almost concave* 'ughhhh what do i have to do to not look pregnant in this dress 😩😫'#and i said 'girl' and just looked at her and like the sudden horrified realisation on her face was lowkey hysterical#like omg you really did forget you're not talking to your other skinny friends with whom you can pat each other on the backs#and reassure each other that 'dw girl ur not fat at all ur so so sexy!' huh sjshsjshsjs#but yeah i dont like making people uncomfortable irl so i did reassure her she looks hot and pretty and skinny as all shit#let at least one of us have a nice evening and not feel Absolutely Fucking Disgusting ig <3#and the day before that after i saw our (last ever btw never photographing myself with them ever again <3) picture and had a mini break down#the other even skinnier and smaller and petite-er crouched down next to me with the most guilty fucking expression and quietly asked me#if im alright and do i want her to delete those pictures (that she posted on two separate social media pages) and like#the look of immense fucking pity on her was even worse than seeing those pictures#like i know she meant well and was trying to be nice but my god. this really is how you all see me huh#like looking like me would be fate worse than death for yall#not even gonna mention the thing i just learned this friday that the retired ballerina who leads our ballet classes said about me#trying to cheer up the other fat girl who happened to have a bit of an emotional breakdown in the middle of the class :)))))))#like i am sooooooo so glad and honoured to be an inspiration to you. really. always happy to help. the exemplary Fat Girl Who Fucking Sucks#But Doesnt Let It Bother Her <333333#like on one hand. yeah it really does make me wanna jump off a cliff. but on the other. its just hilarious sjdgsjsgsj#you sure are right miss ma'am. i sure don't let this bother me at all. i am famous for my uncanny ability to Not Be Bothered by all this <33#but shes new. its ok. how could she know about the last two years when i was getting panic attacks and sobbing myself to sleep every tuesday#but yeah no. [lauren cooper voice] am i bovvered? am i bovvered tho? i aint even bovvered!
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I should get hazard pay for two men at the library mansplaining what scientific theory is (and being utterly wrong) to me, young woman in science who is just trying to scan her books about local oral histories.
#I don't normally refer to myself as a scientist because I have more background in the humanities side of archaeology#but fuck those guys#flat out saying to me (a professional archaeologist) that its not a science#And then also not understanding what scientific theory is???#like the old guy was very adamant evolution was “”real“” and not a theory#he also could not wrap his head around why we were studying Maori archaeology??#Like he kept asking me why#and I would explain about pa sites and taro gardens#and then he would confusedly ask 'are you Maori' like thatsthe only reason you could find it interesting#fuck that guy#knew things were going downhill after he started talking about how he has a physics backgrouns#then brought up Nikola Tesla then went straight to the muskrat#sigh#At least a bunch of teenage schoolgirls got to see me absolutely smoke those men in an argument while being feminine and wearing a dress#Also shout out to the librarian who had my back#she was a real g#yeah suprise surpise#all the people who were backing me up were women#rant post
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please don't leave (again)
(pesca belongs to @hopelesslovebug )
#I HOPE THIS IS ALRIGHT i absolutely adore pesca as a character and had the need to draw him#the caption is suppose to like. refer back to the comic u recently posted abt pesca#the one about him asking not to leave bc of how he was essentially abandoned and found a new family#hes scared that because he reminds mista so much of narancia that he might just leave him because the grief is so much#but also mista is asking pesca not to leave either bc 1) he cares about the kid A Lot#and 2) he sees narancia in pesca and doesn't want to lose narancia again even if pesca and narancia are different people#neither wants to lose each other but are afraid it'll happen so they're asking them not to leave again (bc they've been left already)#does that make sense i really hope it does aughuhasd#jjba#jojo#jojo's bizarre adventure#gw#golden wind#va#vento aureo#guido mista#pesca ghirga#anyways.... i luv pesca hes my awesome nephew#also if theres anything wrong lmk and ill fix it or if u want the flat color or smth ^_^
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had my 3 week follow up and the nurse said i was healing beautifully :') im cleared to wear tshirts again and to go without the compression vest but im still restricted in lifting and exercise and sleeping arrangements
#she also said id probably have extremely minimal scarring and i should be getting feeling back within the next couple of weeks :D#im very very happy i feel great#i cant stop touching my chest#its absolutely crazy how flat i am#mine
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