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gin-no-bara · 5 years

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Why do so many people fantasize about the DL boy’s despite how horrible they are? Excluding the fact that some ppl in the fandom choose to deliberately ignore their abusive sides. I know for some this otome is an outlet to help them process their own abuse, because they can actually control when to take themselves out the game. But I’m sure for everyone that’s not the case, so why?

This is a really good and complicated question. I'm pretty sure I've talked about this somewhere before, but I haven't found it, so it's no problem to address it again.

Human sexuality is extremely convoluted and weird. Sometimes we just like weird fetishes and kinks for no specific reason. But I have my own theories on why DL and the ravishment fantasy is a common thing among women.

First, to be clear, it is complete and total fantasy. No woman ever wants what happens to Yui to actually happen to her. In fantasies, we control what happens and what we want. In the game, we can decide what is too much and when to stop playing. If something like that happened irl, we would have zero control and it would be absolutely terrifying and traumatic.

DL offers a fantasy of danger, of power exchange. That can be very exciting for a lot of people, for both men and women. It is similar to enjoying roller coasters, to be an adrenaline junkie. It's a fun sort of fear, a safe way to experience a dangerous relationship, without ever being in actual danger. Many people enjoy that spike of adrenaline, that rush of feeling that comes with riding the edge of danger. DL is extremely good at providing that with the dummy head mic in the games and CDs. It makes it very immersive, making the fantasy feel uncannily real, while still being safe and fun. (If you've never experienced the dummy head mic with the DL vamps, I suggest doing that right now (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞).

So then there's people that are masochists, which is profoundly complicated, for myself included. I think for a lot of us, there is deep rooted trauma from abuse that makes us this way. We enjoy the fantasy of DL because it is in many ways familiar. Sometimes we feel we deserve the treatment, because our own past trauma and abuse has taught us low self- worth. In some cases though, the power exchange, the feeling of loss of control in a situation, can bring feelings of release for a masochist, a release from stress, from anxiety. Because many masochists suffer from constant feelings of anxiety from past traumas. And yeah, anon you're right that people use the game to help deal with their own traumas. I think that's a huge reason it appeals to certain people, myself included.

Then there is the theory of purity culture. In our culture, women who enjoy sex are considered sluts, we are shamed for enjoying it. So we repress feelings of enjoyment. This can lead to fantasies where we can only enjoy sex if we are "forced". If we are forced to enjoy sex, then we can't be sluts. So this fantasy of being imprisoned by powerful, sadistic vampires who make us do what they want, provides us an opportunity to enjoy the sexual aspects without being shamed for it.

It all sounds very fucked up, but that is just the reality of human sexuality. As a culture, we don't talk about it openly because it is considered humiliating, but the truth is that everyone has some sort of weird thing going on related to sex. Some people have super strange things that are very hard to understand if you aren't into it, but I think we are moving along as a society to accepting things better than we used to. "Don't kink-shame me" is becoming more popular and more people are understanding that having kinks and fetishes isn't a bad thing as long as it doesn't disrupt your life or cause problems. Accepting what you are into also relieves that sense of shame and guilt for being "deviant".

I think that's why it is important to understand why the abuse in DL can appeal to a lot of people. To people that aren't into it, it is difficult to understand. Hell, it is difficult to accept even for people that are. I think it is probably different for every person, and it is important to remember that it is just fantasy. And there is nothing wrong with that, and that it absolutely does not mean that people want to be kidnapped and abused in real life.

Hope that helps to explain my thoughts on it. If anyone has any thoughts or theories to add, go for it. It is so very convoluted and complicated and fascinating

#ask #diabolik lovers #darkdialovers

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minijenn · 5 years

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And now, cause im bored, here's every chapter of Keys briefly summed up in just a few words each (possible spoilers ahead??)

Prologue: The Thirteen Keys: MoM fucks with his students, what else is new

Chapter 1: Remaining Recusant: Riku rescues his boyfriend through the power of Gay

Chapter 2: To Guard the Light: Bunch of boring lore but Sokai makes it worth it

Chapter 3: To Seek the Darkness: Organization shenanigans; Vanitas divorces his shitty, abusive not-dad

Chapter 4: Hero to Zero: Uhhhhh fuckin' Hercules or somethin idk

Chapter 5: Go the Distance: Rage Mode angst is Fun

Chapter 6: Wandering in the Dark: Riku gets a haircut in the Realm of Darkness and Sora really needs to stop lying to everyone

Chapter 7: Promising Beginnings: Kairi and Lea are forced to wear a "get along" shirt

Chapter 8: Lazy Afternoon Streets: Sora has an Identity Crisis part 1

Chapter 9: At Dusk: YA STUPID ORG XIII FUCKHEADS BEST LEAVE MY SON ALONE OR ELSE ILL THROW HANDS

Chapter 10: Sinister Whispers: ^^^ BASICALLY THAT AGAIN ONLY I MEAN IT THIS TIME

Chapter 11: You've Got a Friend in Me: Being a living toy has gotta create some sorta existential crisis, right?

Chapter 12: To Infinity and Beyond: JEN IS GONNA THROW HANDS WITH YOUNG XEHANORT I SWEAR TO GOD I AM

Chapter 13: Chase the Shadows: Detectives Mickey and Riku play a round of "Where's Terra?" And fail miserably

Chapter 14: Paradise Found: Fun with Balloons and Grumpy Geriatrics

Chapter 15: Adventure is Out There: Sora may or may not fall to his death from ridiculously high up in the air i dont fuckin know

Chapter 16: Unspoken, Unheard: Kairi writes Sora a bunch of letters cause she loves him so much but wont say it cause she shy ahah

Chapter 17: How Far I'll Go: MOANA AND SORA ARE MY NEW BROTP

Chapter 18: Know Who You Are: Vanitas gets yeeted by the Ocean cause he a naughty boyo

Chapter 19: The Streets of San Fransokyo: Sora doesnt understand how Technology works what else is new?

Chapter 20: Immortals: everything's all fun and games until Sora's dumbass self-sacrifical complex kicks in (again)

Chapter 21: Depths of Despair: LOOKS LIKE I GOTTA THROW HANDS WITH MALEFICENT NOW TOO

Chapter 22: Rise and Fall and Rise Again: Sora and Kairi hang out and DAMMIT JUST KISS ALREADY YOU DORKS

Chapter 23: The Lost Empire: Lingering Will pops in to say hi and also uhhhh whatever the fuck happens in Atlantis goes down idk

Chapter 24: Where the Dream Takes You: Sora may or may not have PTSD, boi should probs go see a therapist

Chapter 25: Drowning in Darkness: Aqua throws hands then proceeds to get Norted

Chapter 26: I See the Light: Basically KH3's take on Corona but things actually make sense this time

Chapter 27: What Once Was Mine: In which that bit from KH3 where Marluxia knocks Sora out actually leads to some legit payoff smh

Chapter 28: Firsthand Experience: Kairi and Lea take a trip to Disney World and yeet Vanitas (again) right the fuck outta there

Chapter 29: The World Es Mi Familia: Being an (unliving) skeleton also is bound to raise an existential crisis, right?

Chapter 30: Recuérdame: I cry while writing this chapter, both for my baby Xion and because Coco is just that damn tearjerking

Chapter 31: Destined Reunion: ALL THE POLY DESTINY TRIO FEELS

Chapter 32: Something There: At this point even Riku be lookin at Sora and Kairi and shouting "KISS ALREADY YOU ADORABLE DORKS"

Chapter 33: Tale as Old as Time: Sora commits an Actual Murder (am i kidding? Who knooooows)

Chapter 34: The Realm of Darkness: DARK AQUA CAN STEP ON MAH FACE IMO

Chapter 35: Rise to the Light: Great, now Aqua has PTSD too, thanks for nothin, Mickey

Chapter 36: Return to Depart: Sora has another Identity Crisis, part 2

Chapter 37: Broken Chains: Vanitas challenges Sora and Ven to a fight in the Denny's parking lot and fucking loses what else is new

Chapter 38: So This is Love: YES THEY FINALLY KISSED THOSE DORKS

Chapter 39: Almost There: Frogs and also like... Voodoo and so many BBS callbacks so damn many

Chapter 40: Dig a Little Deeper: Sora is too damn stubborn to admit he needs help what else is new

Chapter 41: Follow the Light: Wayfinder Family Reunion saves my life

Chapter 42: Solving Mysteries, Rewriting History: Sora and Goofy meet Donalds family (who then proceed to take the piss outta Donald cause this is Ducktales fam why wouldnt they)

Chapter 43: The Other Promise: Sora has yet another Identity Crisis, part 3

Chapter 44: Vector to the Heavens: Sora and Roxas drink their "Respect and Protect Xion" juice

Chapter 45: Another Arabian Night: Sora, Roxas, and Xion fuck around in a B-list Disney Direct to Video Sequel

Chapter 46: Out of Thin Air: GONNA THROW HANDS WITH XEHANORT HIMSELF THIS TIME AROUND GET AWAY FROM MY SON YA OLD FUCKHEAD

Chapter 47: Alone on the Run: Sora has a Bad Time, Riku and Kairi also have a Bad Time, generally everyone has a Bad Time

Chapter 48: Trust No One: Ven and Roxas add onto the never ending Twin Pile that apparently exists in Gravity Falls

Chapter 49: Not What He Seems: I KNOW ITS NOT UF BUT LOOKS LIKE I GOTTA THROW HANDS WITH BILL CIPHER ANYWAY SOMEHOW

Chapter 50: A Heart Torn Between: Vanitas learns that Girls exist while Sora continues to have a Very Bad Time

Chapter 51: Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride: Riku's goin on a twink hunt, and dont think he dont know how to weeeeed em out

Chapter 52: Aloha 'Oe: Sora and Riku get into a bit of a lover's spat dont worry about it its nothin serious dont worry about it

Chapter 53: Treasured Memories: Namine is the Very First Person Ever to tell Vanitas he has emotional issues, its about damn time

Chapter 54: Let It Go: KAIRI'S FUCKIN PISSED SHE GONNA BRING HER DAMN DUMBASS WAYWARD BOYFRIEND HOME ALREADY DAMN also Sora hangs out with Elsa i guess

Chapter 55: Love Will Thaw: KAIRI KICKS EVERYONES ASSES INCLUDING SORA'S CAUSE LIKE I SAID SHES FUCKIN PISSED

Chapter 56: Back Into the Fold: Sora doesnt have an Identity Crisis anymore but he sure as hell has Anxiety now, part 4

Chapter 57: Farewell to the Wood: Absolute tone whiplash, brought to you by Winnie the Pooh and Sora's ongoing Existential Crisis too

Chapter 58: Link to All: Everyone just cries a lot for an entire chapter cause they all know they boutta fuckin dieeeee

Chapter 59: Face My Fears: I systematically rip every single one of our protagonists hearts out and stomp on each of them with no remorse whatsoever

Chapter 60: Fragments of Light: The B-Squad saves the day

Chapter 61: The Thirteenth Vessel: Sora hangs out with his New Fam, otherwise known as Organization XIII, family fun ensues and it totally isnt a massive angstfest i dont know what you mean

Chapter 62: Key to the Heart: Riku and Kairi throw hands with their boyfriend while also trying to save their boyfriend it makes sense if ya dont think about it

Chapter 63: The Final World: Sora is McFuckin dead and chilling in heaven with a cute baby plushie cat (hey its not a spoiler if KH3 did it first)

Chapter 64: At Daybreak: "But Jen, if you hate KHX so much then why do you keep making so many references to it???" BECAUSE THATS WHY NOW SHUT UP

Chapter 65: The Keyblade War: Keyblade Fight Club, either you Die or you DIE

Chapter 66: Clash of Light and Darkness: Bunch of teenagers throw hands with some bald old fuckhead, but in the end nobody wins except me

Chapter 67: Kingdom Hearts: You know you're in for something fucking nuts when the chapter title is named after the entire series

Chapter 68: The King and the Crown: Jen pulls off a plot twist so mind blowingly ridiculous that it would probably make Tetsuya Nomura blush

Chapter 69: Reconnect: Everyone has a happy ending except no not really i lied

Chapter 70: Don't Think Twice: Oops I Lied again :)

Epilogue: Dearly Beloved: Fuck KH3's ending this is my new canon now

#this is such a shitpost #though im not lying about any of this stuff tbh #there are indeed spoilers in here if ya squint #jen writes #keys to the kingdom

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ms-t-marie · 5 years

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After separating from the situation, clarity starts to sink in forcing an assessment of the emotional and psychological injuries that were sustained in the relationship. Triage. This is when the addiction sets in and you may start missing them, or think you do. What’s missing is the idea of the relationship as the illusion it is. It’s not crazy or insane to manufacture a more ideal reality as the feelings are very real but encourage us to believe the other person is equally suffering in our absence. E-motion is a verb meaning to move emotional energy, emotion is necessary to get to the truth. The feelings, the intuition and gut feeling of truth, is underneath the illusion that this is a healthy relationship. Healthy relationships are not abusive or one-sided. Love is not being chronically and consistently scared, tense, edgy, unhappy, neglected or so much worse.

You are addicted to this relationship, too. The body releases hormones at each stage of the roller coaster ride — the high of coming together, the stress of the slow demise, the whiplash of devaluation and finally, the pain when you find yourself discarded with less energy than it takes to pay a bill. That’s why it feels so good in hoping, goes south in anger when it starts deteriorating, and turns to agony when it’s over. Do you really want to go through this again? This person, substance, entity or institution is not worth your life. You may not be consciously choosing this but there is a pattern in your life of allowing it; even if this pattern goes back to childhood. It’s the pattern that needs to change, not you. Remember that. Love is why we come here in the first place and it’s the reward once you actualize your own Self-Love by not giving your energy away to those who don’t have your best interests at heart. Trust takes time to earn, you are worth the time it takes to earn trust.

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I saved all of the above for myself on 11/18/2018, and I have zero recollection of ever reading it before, nor do I know where I obtained it. All of that being said, I absolutely need it now, and it's strange to feel that, essentially, I left it as a message for myself. Literally, right after I got off my meds, I saved this. I wonder how many other messages I've left for myself, and how many might actually help.

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