#aboutlex
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𝐦.𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
𝐤𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐨
kageyama tobio
↳ tag teamed! ❤️🔥 - threesomes with haikyuu duos!
hinata shoyo
↳ tag teamed! ❤️🔥 - threesomes with haikyuu duos!
tsukisima kei
↳ sundress szn ❤️🔥 - collab event with @134340am
↳ i hate to see you leave - hcs for when they leave on a business trip
↳ sa in a past relationship - TW: mentions of sexual assault
↳ love from anywhere ❤️🔥
asahi azumane
↳ somebody to use - event, prompts #9, #12, #19
𝐚𝐨𝐛𝐚 𝐣𝐨𝐡𝐬𝐚𝐢
oikawa toru
↳ i hate to see you leave - hcs for when they leave on a business trip
↳ tag teamed! ❤️🔥 - threesomes with haikyuu duos!
iwaizumi hajime
↳ i hate to see you leave - hcs for when they leave on a business trip
↳ tag teamed! ❤️🔥 - threesomes with haikyuu duos!
matsukawa issei
↳ nothing here yet!
𝐧𝐞𝐤𝐨𝐦𝐚
kenma kozume
↳ tag teamed! pt. 2❤️🔥 - threesomes with haikyuu duos!
↳ falling in love with you ❤️🔥 - f!reader x pro gamer!kenma
↳ love from anywhere ❤️🔥
↳ tag teamed continuation ❤️🔥
↳ streamer kenma + model reader
kuroo tetsurou
↳ tag teamed! pt. 2 ❤️🔥 - threesomes with haikyuu duos!
↳ tag teamed continuation ❤️🔥
↳ streamer kuroo + model reader
𝐟𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐢
bokuto kotaro
↳ i hate to see you leave - hcs for when they leave on a business trip
↳ tag teamed! pt. 2❤️🔥 - threesomes with haikyuu duos!
↳ bokuto bring you to an expo - fluff while was in the car
↳ love from anywhere ❤️🔥
akaashi keiji
↳ tag teamed! pt. 2❤️🔥 - threesomes with haikyuu duos!
konoha akinori
↳ nothing here yet!
𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐰𝐚
ushijima wakatoshi
↳ tag teamed! pt. 2❤️🔥 - threesomes with haikyuu duos!
↳ love from anywhere ❤️🔥
tendo satori
↳ tag teamed! pt. 2❤️🔥 - threesomes with haikyuu duos!
goshiki tsutomu
↳ nothing here yet!
𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐤𝐢
suna rintaro
↳ i hate to see you leave - hcs for when they leave on a business trip
↳ coming soon: falling for you - suna rintarou
↳ love from anywhere ❤️🔥
atsumu miya
↳ tag teamed! ❤️🔥 - threesomes with haikyuu duos!
osamu miya
↳ tag teamed! ❤️🔥 - threesomes with haikyuu duos!
kita shinsuke
↳ nothing here yet!
𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜.
sasuka kiyoomi
↳ nothing here yet!
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𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 + 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬:
➶ my page does include nsfw and sensitive topics, please proceed with caution
➶ do NOT interact with any nsfw content if you are under 18, i do routine checks
➶ if you do interact with my content, please have your age in your bio or somewhere easy to find, if you do not have an age or are a blank blog i will block you
➶ more info about age regulations here
➶ all nsfw content is flagged with a “❤️🔥”, so there is no reason for excuses on interaction
➶ feel free to send in asks and dm’s to chat, join the taglist, etc.
➶ i am a student going into a very hard degree (imo), updates may be sporadic during the week
➶ do not copy, translate or steal my work, if you do post it anywhere, please give me credit
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 !
➶ i try my best to tag things appropriately, feel free to block and filter any of these tags.
➶ any non-req asks will be answered under “#lexanswers”
➶ wanna stay updated on my day? “#lexthoughts”
➶ all rec fics and drabbles will be here
➶ sfw drabbles, fics, hcs, etc will be under “#sweetlex”
➶ nsfw drabbles, fics, hcs, etc, will be under “#spicylex”
𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭
➶ these are topics i don’t feel comfortable writing about, whether that be because of personal reasons or because i don’t want to offend anyone
➶ incest of any sort (including step-cest and roleplay)
➶ vomit, scat, blood, etc.
➶ piss kinks
➶ noncon (dubcon is a stretch but i can do it)
➶ large age differences (student x teacher)\
➶ self harm / self negligence in any form
➶ ED recovery is a different story, but i will not write about someone having an ED, only in past tense
➶ character x character and self ship fics
➶ male!reader
if you are unsure, don’t be afraid to ask, if i don’t answer, it’s probably a no.
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might write somethin tmo if i feel like it, i have no ideas rn so send some!!
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a b o u t !
୨୧ lex, eighteen, she/they, bokuto enthusiast, intp, 5 wing 4, canadian!
୨୧ currently in school, writing to get rid of stress, psychology major to go into law, playing video games in my free time, constantly exhausted!
୨୧ faves ~
suna, tsukki, kenma, bokuto, ushiwaka and kageyama
୨୧ addicted to ~
milk chocolate, sleeping in, rainy days, english lit, hot chocolates, sprinkle donuts, willow trees
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Hey Now | Closed
I’m not really sure when it was that I stopped believing it all. The lies, and the fake smiles. The people that pretended to care when really they just cared about how much I could give them and how little they had to give back to keep me feeding them whatever they wanted. Sad that it took so long to see that everyone I knew couldn’t care less about me. I could be a bitch, a princess, a diva or the nicest girl you’ve ever met, and still they treated me the same day in, day out - because I gave them what they wanted in return. “Hey, Alexa, can I borrow a thousand dollars for --- “ The answer was always yes, always, because when it came down to it, I thought those people were my friends and I’d of done anything for them. Money wasn’t anything to me, not because of the endless supply, but because I actually didn’t care. I cared about the people I was handing it to.
But they didn’t care about me.
So, the whole depression thing had been setting in for a couple of years, since I was sixteen maybe. But it really started to hit hard once I was nineteen, I don’t know what triggered the emotional breakdown, but it happened. Freaked out, yelled at everyone, told them all I knew about what they were doing. Some of them denied it, some of them stood there slack jawed staring at me like they were about to be arrested. All the while the "It's my party I can cry if I want to" song played in my head. Birthdays, never liked em. Then I was done with them. No more, I wasn’t playing house with a bunch of people that wanted nothing from me unless it came with a price tag. Funny though, even the odd few times one of them called me after the little outburst and asked for whatever. Yeah, I gave it to them. Why? Because who the fuck knows, maybe I'm charitable or something. Or maybe I just didn't care. Both? From then on it only got worse.
Wasn’t long after that when I gave up. Couple weeks after my birthday I realized that I didn’t want anymore of those. So without so much as a doubt I drew the bath and snatched the first box of razorblades I could find. You know, the fancy ones for those nice razors that you actually have to change the little blade on yourself. Those thing sharp as sin, I’ve cut my fingertips changing them countless times. But this wasn’t going to be some quick pinprick and cry into the tub then find some ice cream like it always was. I was done. Honestly done. I had no one, I didn’t want anyone. My parents, my family, my friends. There was nothing and I was nothing.
So I was done.
It was a conscious choice I made. It wasn't something I'd regret, or something I could learn to get over. Some life event I could move on from. Because it wasn't just some life event it was my entire life. Looking back I can see how empty I was, how broken and how I tried to patch those holes up with people. Anyone. Anyone that wanted to be my friend, but none of them wanted that. Maybe if I'd had just one, just one friend that said "Hey, Alexa, I care about you" and meant it, I wouldn't have given up on life; but who knows. But when your life consists of waking up, crying all day and then going back to bed to nightmares - being completely secluded for months, not even so much as opening your mouth to speak to anyone. Well. What kind of life is that anyway? Not one I wanted. And it wasn't like I didn't try and change things, I tried everything.
I'd been walking on the road of depression for a long time, and I finally reached the fork. Two choices right there, live forever knowing that it will never get better, and I'll die anyway. Or end it, end the suffering.
Guess which one I opted for.
The worst part wasn’t even the sensation of the blade parting the warm flesh on my arm, no that wasn’t bad, barely felt it sliding into my skin. It was when my arms dipped into the water, there was this burning sensation from the heated liquid rushing against the fresh wounds. I sucked in a deep breath and held it, ignoring the ache. But it was okay, I could take it. What choice did I have now anyway. Slide down into the tub, lean against the edge and sigh. Close my eyes, let that dizzy feeling take over. Let it wash away all my agony, fade to black. There was nothing but the rushing water, the dull pain and my thoughts trailing off into nothingness: that, and my dog barking wildly.
Fucking Snowball!
It was kind of nice, just laying there knowing things were going to stop hurting. That my heart would just cease, my brain would finally turn off. I wouldn’t be constantly filled with sorrow - well, really who knew what was on the other side, if there was another side. Maybe it was nothingness, maybe it all just ended. Maybe I'd float up to heaven and everything would be fucking rainbows and kittens. Or, maybe all the bible thumpers are right and when you kill yourself you go to hell. Well, this is hell to me, and I'm trying to get out. All I knew is that I was going to die one day, one way or the other. And I wanted it to be today, I didn’t want to live until I was fifty, or sixty or older. I didn’t want to have all that bullshit, I didn’t want life - I didn't ASK for life.
But apparently, it was going to forced back down my throat.
I really don’t recall all that happened, I was fading in and out of consciousness. The dog barking, people talking at me. Now that I think about it it’s kind of awkward, whoever pulled me out of that bath must have felt a little strange. Yank the bloody naked girl out of the tub. But really who cares what happened between the bathroom and the hospital. What I do know is that I woke up three days later after having a couple of blood transfusions and being doped up with a ton of medications. When my eyes finally fluttered open I almost went blind from how bright that stupid room was. Of course I wasn’t dead, things couldn’t be that easy for me. No, instead I was stuck in the psych ward of the hospital downtown, arms stitched up and wrapped.
Out of the frying pan…
So I was almost instantly bombarded with questions and people telling me I’ll get better. And that's how it's been since, these people just lecturing me. Rushing into my room and telling me how they'll fix me, make me better. I just sit, nodding and pretending to care. Because I quickly found out that when they say “We’re so lucky we got to you in time” and you reply with “But I wanted to die” they kind of freak out a little, up your medication, make you take more art therapy classes and just force a ton of general fuckery on you. Like I wasn't depressed enough, no really, let's talk about it. I'm not a sharing kind of person. So, now I have to play the good little girl that wants to get better.
So when they let me out of here I can find a building to jump off of.
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