# 1 to 10 🔗

one.

you're a nobody here. a mere plus one to your friend who was forced into coming to this fundraiser by her business world old money parents. your nicest black dress on and one of her many red bottoms, they pinch a little but you pretend like they don't. just like you pretend not to notice the sage green eyes that follow you as the attractive man they belong to sips on what you assume is bourbon, his gold rolex (that easily costs more than the house your family lives in) gleaming on his wrist.

two.

you look over your friend's shoulder from where the two of you lay, sprawled out on a gingham blanket in her massive yard. she's mindlessly scrolling through instagram and just as you're about to turn you catch a glimpse of those eyes. "wait!" she flinches at your exclamation. "go back up." you say offering no explanation. her lithe fingers drag down her screen and those eyes stare back at you once again. it's a candid of the guy from the event, his tongue stuck out. one hand flips the camera off while the other is resting against his lower abdomen which in turns raises his shirt just enough to catch a glimpse of the metal at his bellybutton. his handle reads suna.rin. your friend looks up at you with a confused look but it soon turns to one of disapproval. "don't even think about it." your eyes catch hers and you reply defensively, "i wasn't thinking of anything. i just recognize him from that fundraiser, he kept staring at me." she clucks her tongue. "suna rintaro is bad news with a capital BAD. seriously, don't think about getting near the freak, he's really no good."

three.

really no good makes his way into your dms a few weeks later. you admit it. you were combing through this man's insta like it was your job. but your butter fingers decided to double tap on a month old photo, causing you to lock your phone with a quickness and toss it away from you in humiliation. while you have your face buried in your hands contemplating which bridge would be best to jump from your phone vibrates once, and then once more. –found u angel– –or looks like u found me–

four.

you kick your legs, air force ones swinging in the air as you wait for him. the two of you had decided to meet "officially" in person after taking for a month and a half, suna rintaro was a busy man it would seem. you glance up at the clock above your head, he was late. tapping away at your phone gives you something to do while you wait. a black air force nudging your white one grabs your attention and you look up only to meet sage green. "hi pretty, you match shoes with me on purpose?" his teasing smirk is practically clench worthy. "you're late." is what you reply, standing and slinging your purse over your shoulder. "no, im rintaro. suna rintaro." he holds his hand out to you. you slip yours into his replying with your own name. "i hope we can be good friends," he murmurs with that smirk again.

five.

you don't know if parading around the city with him count as dates, but if they do you've been on a lot of them. he'd called you earlier wondering if you wanted to window shop, his old man was giving him a hard time. that's all you seem to know about his dad, that he's strict on rintaro. he says his mom and younger sister are much easier to get along with. "this one?" he points to a silver chain, thick and chunky. you tilt your head before shaking it, "wouldn't suit you." you point out a thin gold one. "layering a few of these would be better." he contemplates in silence before humming in agreement. "you're so hot." rintaro says before leaning in to you and taking your lips with his.

six.

you'd had to curry favor with rin to make him agree to having a picnic, he got to pick the spot though. he'd said the park you wanted to go to was "too stifling" whatever that meant. the place he'd brought you to was rather secluded but incredibly beautiful. "c'mon pretty, we don't have all day. feed me some of those finger sandwiches you made or whatever it is that gets served at a picnic." he was sprawled out on the blanket, his shirt riding up to show that awful sexy piercing of his, you wanted to kiss him. you tuck the skirt of your dress under you as you sit and unpack the basket. "ah, rin the drinks! please don't tell me u forgot them." "as if, got em right here angel," he holds up a bottle of rosé. "did you seriously bring a 20,000 yen bottle of rosé?" "man if the rosé bothers you, you're gonna hate the necklace i bought you." your eye practically twitches, "rin, what necklace?" he pulls out a cute red velvet box from his pocket and opens it. inside sits a dainty gold chain with a small gold cherry hanging from it. "how much did yo– actually don't tell me i feel like i'll pass out." he merely chuckles before moving to put the jewelry on you. "get used to this pretty, i'm gonna spoil you stupid."

seven.

you're lounging on the ridiculously fancy black couch in rin's equally as fancy and equally as black-accented apartment. he'd run off earlier to in his words to "take care of business", but he'd been out for about four hours at this point. you glance at the clock mounted to his wall, which reads 2:17 am. you drag yourself to get ready to bed, he'd probably be home soon. a loud crash and an equally loud exclamation of "fuck!" startles you awake. you quickly tie your robe around you as you carefully pad into the hallway, peeking around the corner to see what the commotion was about. rintaro stood in the kitchen, his back to you. you're about to call to him when he yells another obscenity which pulls a squeak from you. he whips around to face you, and you can see his anger through the blood traili– blood? you brain finally registers the blood on his face and soaking his shirt. "rin?!" you rush towards him hands cupping his face, "who did this? why do you have blood–" he cuts you off by grabbing your shoulders with a bit more force than necessary, "it's not mine." "what do you mean it's not yours? rintaro what's goin–" he cuts you off again. "go back to sleep." he brushes past you to lock himself in the bathroom.

eight.

everything has seemingly gone back to normal. you and rin never did talk about that night he came home covered in blood. your questions eat at you but you don't want to push the issue. you think back to your friend's words briefly. how rintaro was really bad news. too late to heed her advice it would seem. he kisses you like normal, buys you things like normal, and teases you like normal. you wonder if this game of charades is more for his benefit than your own.

nine.

you sit at his waist, eyeliner pen in hand. "promise i'll make you look real pretty rin." you'd persuaded him with your sweet words and a few sweet kisses and he happily agreed to let you practice your eyeliner on him. he thinks you're so pretty above him, biting your lip in concentration, he wants you badly. "all done!" "great work, pretty." a few beats of silence pass between you as you stare at one another, finally rin speaks up. "listen, i'll understand if you never wanna see me again after i tell you this." he starts. he explains that night to you finally. his family isn't in the cleanest of businesses, and sometimes that means taking care of things in "less than conventional" ways. unsure what to say you press your lips against his, hoping to convey your dedication to him. he slips a ring on your finger when you pull apart, pointing out his initials engraved into the metal. "here's mine." he tells you, reaching into his shirt to hold up a matching ring that dangles from a chain, this one with your initials. "you and me, baby."

ten.

his hand on your neck is cold but the barrel of the gun he presses to your jaw is even colder. you blink up at him, those gorgeous green eyes staring back at you. he leans in, lips ghosting the shell of your ear. click. "nobody loves you, more than me baby."

tagged by @ikyh and @younghyuuns ill be doing both sets !! :D thank you both for tagging me!! this got long so yall dont hav 2 read <3

ru?? rushee’s set!! me: wow ru does not sound like rushee at all ? djsjdhhjd im dumb but i realize now

i. do u believe in astrology? whats ur sign and do u line up with the features usually attributed to it?

fucc... i guess i do ;-0...... and yeah i think?????? like they say capricorns are cold bitches and funny nd im like ya thats me... but they also say we’re hard workers and im like uh.. dont know abt that karen !

ii. what’s ur favorite pair of socks?

bbbbbbb..... socks huh...... i guess my ankle ones? there are also socks that have actual designs on them and those r usually thicker.. keep my feets safe! most of them have pkmn designs bc.. yeah... love the poke mans

iii. what’s a food that reminds you of a specific moment/memory?

i could think of anythiing and get reminded of one situation if that makes sense.. but i thought of pineapple..pizza... anyway the memory isnt anythngn special its just me staring at my delicious hawaiian pizza..... at my favourite pizza place.... love that shit

iv. what’s the longest you’ve gone without sleeping?

i dont have the actual hours but the latest ive stayed up.. like willingly would be until 2am

v. how has ur taste in music changed throughout ur life?

went from 1d to 5so/s + other bands to utaite.... they cover vocaloid songs ig i never kno how2 explain what utaites r then 2 kpop.. but i still listen 2 bands + kpop and utaites.... so nothing much has changed ive just gone broader.. wider... expanded my tastes... 

vi. who’s ur fashion icon?

oh definitely kim wonpil

vii. what’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done without realizing?

i breathe dumbass particles.. i cant think of one bc my brain probably blocked off all access to my horrifying past but ive been thinking abt how i used 2 send the boy i used 2 like 1d songs....................... 12 y/o old me rly thought. he’d listen.... 12 y/o me thought spamming him was a good idea glad ive learnt from that! 

viii. what’s something you want to brag about?

my grades but it didnt get me into psychology so nvm ! its still good though i didnt expect to get an A1 (hghest grade) for combined humanities since ive had a B my whole life without it i wouldnt be able to move on education wise lmao so thank god for that thanks cambridge thanks bell curve sunbaenim 

ix. when you imagine urself being happy in the future, where exactly are you (like the location!)?

oh definitely an apartment somewhere where its always windy and the curtains are always Moving and the sun just Shines in the room but its not that hot either its just full of warmth and yeah thats the dream maybe also walks in the park without having 2 worry abt sweating my pits out u kno! tldr anywhere but here

x. what’s something you’ve always wanted to own?

let me Think.... i dont need a lot/?? but id love hm.............. i want stability but realistically i want all the hh pcs from the code albums. 

xi. how’ve you been lately?

good good! i finished my *** fic and its. im proud of it though i know its not that good nd i can do better but its done ! and hm i could be going to see mx but asking my mum is stressing me out speaking of her she wont stop Coughing and she refuses to see the doctor ;-/ love those sleepless nights ! other than that i just want 2 get out and feel the sun ???/ wanna get out of this house yea but i need to be.. shady with my money i cant get a job because school is starting in a month and im going overseas again sometime next month so ! no ones gonna hire someone who can only work for 2 weeks at most dhzjhhs shouldve worked when i had the time dumbasses only

ok now falen

1. what’s been on your mind??

hm redacted feeling towards my mum but i cant say them bc itd be insensitive 

2. what are you looking forward to? 

mx? possibly but also finishing my enrolment papers

3. story time!: how and when did you get into day6!!!!!

fuck...... listen up LADS. 

ive told the same story like 10 times but im never gonna get tired of saying this shit bc i love miss boxy so much nd she deserves the appreciation anywy she introduced me 2 day6 after i saw this one (1) picture of brian in minion glasses and instantly i knew in that Fucking moment thatd id die for him. so i asked for the name of my murderer and was introduced to day6 whom frankly id never heard of b4 bdjhjh she sent me all their mvs and i still remember the night . i remember walking out of this japanese restaurant, twitter open, chat wiht boxy there and i was like.. interesting ill go listen when im home so i Did! and my mind was blown away bitch? i honest 2 god expected them to be a boy group,,, dancing and shit yknow? i didnt know k bands existed ! so as a previous 5/sos stan i was like wow. this??? this shit is 10/10 a fucking BANGER thats what i felt listening 2 i smile and just going :O over the fucking instruments so idk if how can i say was the last or second song but Damn. .. it made me scream thanks mister j** he rly dragged me by the collar of my shirt and threw me face first into Heaven so i watched everything i asked my friend for video recommendations and after boxy sent me a page with their face and names i was like this jae kid is 182 cm? wow gotta stan now im stupid and stupid for glasses and tall people so ! it happened bithc,, ugh i lov eday6 so much i remember binge watchng all their vlives after the july after party live (that being the first vlive i watched Ever in my entire life and i laghed so hard despite not understanding a damn thing) please id giv my heart and soul2 day6 im so happy with the way ive progressed as a myday :^( 

bonus when i first started stanning it was 26th june and shortly after i made a stan acc teasers were being dropped but i didnt kno why ppl were freaking out i remmeber seeing jae’s teaser nd going ? ok? its just a pic damn ;-/ and then eveeryone was like: dowoon! choker! me: wdhs? what

4. ????do you have any allergies????

did u think of jae and no i used to be allergic 2 dairy products but thats disappeared

5. a fond memory???

bowling with friends and im just a disaster of a friend im always so loud with them and i thank god everyday that they handle my energy ? i would cheer for them even if they got a gutter or whatever and when they got a strike id go clap like crazy i love my friends i also went i have the power of god and anime on my side before flinging the ball and theyd laugh despite not knowing what vine that was from i love my friends... psg if ur out there yall are the best x i miss hanigng out with them as a trio.. three of us :( 

6. do you paint your nails?? if so, what are your fave colors to use?? if not, why??  

thats so.. tiresome.......... dont u have 2 wait for it 2 dry and shit ? my mums always worried abt ruining the colour or some sht nd im like !!! okY!!!!!!! tldr its a pain in the ass

7. what are your favorite colors?? what are your fave colors to wear??

i like hte colour of the sky... all the colours........ yeah love that bithc and lately ive been wearing a lot of black shirts finally went out of my embarrassing colourful phase ! 

8. what languages would you like to learn?? for what reason(s)??

japanese nd korean jp because i listen to a lot of things in japanese and korean for the same reason but my priority would be jp even tho id love to communicate with my faves i just... yeah although im not exactly making an effort 2 learn bc im lazy but if i Could.... itd be those two

9. when you get stickers, do you use them or do you keep them??

DHDGFHDHDGDSJHJSJAKSSJHFHS THIS FEELS LIKE A CALL OUT???? i keep them......... 

10. are there any groups that you might get into/want to get into?

hm... well theres knk ive learnt their names and im finally able to put name 2 face so thats nice svt too if htey didnt have such large numbers... thats all for now i think?? i love evry girl group though i love gIRLS... 

11. how are you???

idk im constantly just fine?? not the im sad but im fine kind of fine im literally just neutral half the time wjhddshs wild 

both of your questions were really unique and i loved answering them thank you so much for tagging me and if youve read until the end thank you i hope you have a good day!

My Top 19 K-Pop songs of 2019

(No one asked, but I’ll tell you anyway :) )

19. LOL - Taeyeon: I waited so long for Taeyeon’s new solo album to come out because her solo work has always really resonated with me, and I love the vibe she went for for Purpose. This is my favorite song from the album (along with Love You Like Crazy) because I love how soft the “ha, ha, ha” part in the prechorus is before louder, dramatic, sassy chorus comes in. It’s like an evil character’s song in a movie. 18. The Fifth Season (SSFWL) - Oh My Girl: It just sounds so pretty. Oh My Girl always sounds so pretty but something about this title track takes off when that chorus hits and makes you feel like you’re flying away in the true, whimsical, Oh My Girl fashion. They release nothing but good music, always. 17. Valkyrie - ONEUS: My favorite debut this year! Fun fact, Hwanwoong was my original one-pick in Produce 101 Season 2 and I was pissed he got eliminated so early and I was waiting for his debut ever since. Honestly, all of ONEUS’s stuff is pretty solid but this song is my favorite from them and definitely gave them a different sound than a lot of k-pop groups at the moment. Love the dance, love the guitar in the minimalistic part of the chorus into the EDM drop, and love my little man Hwanwoong :) 16. Baby You Are - EXO: This album took so long to come out that a lot of other groups caught my attention during the year and I wasn’t as hyped for their comeback as I usually would be, but immediately on first listen, this was my favorite song. ChanKai leading the chorus *chefs kiss*  and I love the groovy vibe they went for and how this album went from intense songs to these lighter songs to the ballads.  15. Fun! - fromis_9: Exactly what you’d expect from the title of the song. They all looked great, sounded great, the choreo is cute, and I adore the spunky sound. The music video is really cheeky too! 14. Chronosaurus - Stray Kids: I was really unsure whether I would like Stray Kids because something about their debut stuff didn’t vibe with me at first but them Miroh came out and I was like oh??? And then I listened to this mini album and I was like OH???? THAT CHORUS! anyway we stan now 13. Dumb - BVNDIT: I was not expecting to like this song! I wasn’t the biggest fan of their debut because I was worried that they were going to have this group do the exact same style as Chungha, and while this comeback still has some of those vibes, I think the edginess of this song made it stand out to me. The choreography is one of my faves this year, simple and elegant at the same time and the girl that starts the second verse (Yiyeon?) has such a stunning vocal tone that really caught my attention. 12. Bing Bing - Red Velvet: not Red Velvet’s strongest year but this song and Parade stood out to me because it has that wacky classic “red” style that I like. The live performance is what pushed this song ahead of Parade for me, because they all look so sassy and confident and their runways walks ended ANTM’s career. 11. Happy Ending (JPN ver.) - Seventeen: is technically not a Korean song, and I know there’s a Korean version to it, but I’ve listened to this way too much for me not to include it. This song and Hit have my favorite choreographies of the year but I prefer how laid-back and acoustic parts of this song are despite how hard this dance goes. 10. Icy - ITZY: I wish I had just an ounce of the confidence these girls exude, especially Yuna when she gets her center time. Everything about this song is so strange yet done so right, and ITZY gets bonus points for being choreographed by my favorite choreographer on Youtube at the moment, Brian Friedman. 9. Lion - (G)I-DLE: I don’t want to like (G)I-DLE, because I hate how their concept is just cultural appropriation and the girls think it’s okay to use other cultures as an aesthetic or a costume they can put on whenever they want, and call it something like “ethnic hip.” But credit where credit is due, this group puts out some of the most creative, best quality music out there right now and Soyeon sure knows how to write a song. The power this song exudes.... amazing. Special shout-out to Blow Your Mind and Put it Straight from the Senorita album as well! 8. Spring Snow - Pentagon: Kino just knows what kind of music I like, and it is unfair that his song in every album is my favorite but here we are. This song just makes me feel endlessly happy, like the ending theme of a coming of age movie? They’re another group that put out nothing but quality music all year, and I also want to mention Sha La La which I feel deserved more love than it ever got. @ cube bring back Yanan please thank you 7. Highway to Heaven (Korean ver.) - NCT: I think I mentioned this in my concert recap but everyone was looking forward to Superhuman when the VCR for this song came out I immediately knew it was my new favorite NCT song.The MVs (for both versions actually!) are so simple and pretty and the song is so hopeful (in Korean......) and Haechan finally got his deserved high note, bless this song 6. We Must Love - ONF: my fatal mistake is not discovering ONF sooner, and it is also the mistake of literally everyone else who has not heard of them. because their viewcount is so LOW The melody in this song is so pretty and so dramatic and I LOVE THEIR MAIN VOCAL??? also this song made me fall in love with Laun literally 2 months before he left but I digress-- 5. LALALAY - Sunmi: I got so excited about this song that I learned the dance within the first week and that’s dedication right there. I love a good Lia Kim choreo, and I love the attitude and the energy Sunmi exuded. Also the stage outfits and makeup 11/10. 4. Devil - CLC: I want to put every song CLC put out this year on this list but I have no space so I picked my favorite. While I like CLC when they decide to go badass, I have a soft spot in my heart for songs like Pepe and No Oh Oh so having them give us that retro sound again was really refreshing. Sorn got lines! This was also another song I immediately learned the dance to. This was their BEST year by far and I’m looking forward to their album (hopefully, I’m tired of minis and singles) 3. You Calling My Name - GOT7: In all honesty, I haven’t fully liked a GOT7 comeback since 2015 (If You Do <3) which I feel awful about because they were one of the first songs I got into when I started liking k-pop that year. I kept up with their variety work and still liked the members and was waiting for another title track to catch my attention again and this one punched me in the face. I’ve listened to this song every day since it came out. Styling, on point, production, on point, and especially the CHOREO is on point. also jinyoung.....is very powerful..... 2. Rooftop - N.flying: I’M SO HAPPY FOR THEM!! I grew really attached to this group after subscribing to Jaehyun and Hun’s youtube channel (2idiots, best content out there lol) and I’ve been waiting for their big break because they’re all so nice and work so hard and it finally came! It amazes me how big this song got in Korea, and it’s so refreshing to hear. Hweseung’s vocals, ugghhhhh <3 1. DAY6′s entire discography Wanna Go Back - DAY6: wow I’m incredibly predictable aren’t I. I’ve been incredibly stressed with studying this year, and most kpop is too distracting for me to listen to while doing school work, but DAY6′s music has been really comforting and helping me to stay focused, which makes them my most listened to artist of the year. I struggled to pick a favorite song because they all are, but I settled on Wanna Go Back because it’s one of the only songs I know of that have made me cry on first listen. The lyrics hit too close to home, and it’s really meaningful to me that they put into words so eloquently.

Honorable mentions - %% - APINK, Hala Hala - ATEEZ, Satellite - LOONA, Colors - LOONA, Violeta - IZ*ONE, Mikrokosmos - BTS, Boy With Luv - BTS, Bloom Bloom - The Boyz, Picky Picky - Weki Meki, Movie Star (and the entire album that came with it) - CIX, 119 - NCT Dream, Bbyong! - Saturday, Blueming - IU, What Are You Waiting For - Anda, Get Loud -TWICE, Fancy - TWICE, Love Foolish - TWICE, Breakthrough (JPN ver.) -TWICE

In general, while I don’t think this is musically the strongest year for kpop, I feel like a lot of groups released music that was more true to their authentic selves and a lot of the songs that stood out to me are songs that just make me happy. As someone who loves kpop dances, the choreo this year was also impeccable. Here’s to more great music to come, and I hope everyone takes care of themselves into the new year!