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kpopfanfictrash · 5 months

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Jingle All the Way Collaboration

Coming your way this holiday season! Whether you've been naughty or nice, you'll have seven fics to unwrap by @kpopfanfictrash , @leahsfavefics , @kithtaehyung , @yoonia , @cybrsan and @sugaurora.

All second chance romance. All holiday themed. All attempting to utilize the same quote: "The holidays aren't so bad with you around." Come down the chimney, embrace your inner Vixen, and warm up this season with the Jingle All the Way collab!

Content Creator: all amazing banners are made by the truly spectacular @kithtaehyung!!

(Links to be added as fics are posted)

Title: The Ten Days of Ex-Mas

Author: @kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Jimin x Reader (f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; hockey player au, second chance au, oh noo there was only one bed

Summary: Three months following the worst break-up of your life, you finally feel ready to start moving on. The world, it seems, has other ideas when you pick up the phone and find your ex-boyfriend calling.

Jimin Park, star right winger of the NHL and (until recently), the love of your life, has a very large problem. Despite the courage he regularly shows on the ice, in his personal life, Jimin is kind of a coward. When you broke up this fall, he could barely admit it. Not to his neighbors. Not to his friends. Not even to his family, who are expecting him home for Christmas. In a desperate plea for more time, Jimin begs you to pretend you’re still dating – and to his surprise, you agree. Faced with a second chance, Jimin is determined not to squander it. If only fixing a relationship were as easy as falling in love.

Posting Date: December 19th, 2023

Title: All I Want for Christmas is Joon

Author: @leahsfavefics

Pairing: art historian!Namjoon x art historian!reader (f)

Rating/genre: m (18+) angst, fluff, smut, second chance au

Summary: You have had a rough year following the mutual break up with your grad school sweetheart. On a whim, you book a spontaneous trip to Europe for the holidays to help get you out of the funk you’re in and assert your independence. It would be great, if it weren’t for the fact that you keep bumping into your ex boyfriend.

Posting Date: December 21st, 2023

Title: Back to December

Author: @kithtaehyung

Pairing: Seokjin x Reader(f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; brother’s best friend au, wedding au, second chance au

Summary: Ever since you left town to pursue your dreams, life has fast forwarded into one big blur. so when you hit pause to attend your brother’s wedding exactly three years later, your brain instinctively resets and rewinds. because you have to spend it with the very person that had been there at the start. the one person you regret leaving behind.

Posting Date: TBD

Title: A Christmas Fix

Author: @yoonia

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader(f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+), secret baby au, s2l au, fake dating au on the side (more on that later)

Summary: One-night stands are supposed to be nothing more than just. It shouldn’t have involved seeing those two red lines looking back at you weeks later without a name or a contact number linking you back to your mystery man. Nothing more but his face. The unforgettable face that would sometimes appear in your dreams at night. So unforgettable that you immediately recognise him the moment he walks into your family home at Christmas, hand-in-hand with your older stepsister.

Title: Everwinter

Author: @kithtaehyung

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader(f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; ex-fwb 2 lovers au, second chance au

Summary: You told him you loved him, and that was a mistake. Because years later, you both meet up with your old friend group for a holiday trip, and neither of you have forgotten that.

Posting Date: TBD

Title: Miracle of the Season

Author: @cybrsan

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Rating/Genre: M (18+); angst, fluff, smut; angel au, second chance au

Summary: Cast out of Heaven after a painful betrayal, you find yourself having to navigate the intricacies of human life without any guidance from the Creator or the family you have always known. Things only get worse as the holiday season reaches its peak, with reminders of the life you left behind everywhere you look. Just when you think things can’t get any worse, a familiar face pops up and you aren’t sure whether to consider it a blessing or a curse.

Posting Date: December 29th, 2023

Title: A Porn Star's Guide to the Holidays

Author: @sugaurora

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader(f)

Rating/Genre: M (18+); smut; second chance au

Summary: Jung Hoseok was your first love, a relationship that ended only because your post-high school dreams led you down two very different paths. Yours brought you to Jeon Jungkook, an innovative talent agent promising to produce the most well-loved adult entertainment artists of the era. And that’s how you became an erotic market darling, doing just about everything from outdoor gangbangs to golden showers and a long list of kinks in between.

Ten years later and you’re ready to find a new path, celebrating your exit from the business with one last appearance at the biggest adult industry convention of the year. Only when you arrive, you find yourself unexpectedly face-to-face with your high school sweetheart. Suddenly, you’re forced to confront where the years have taken you and feelings that may have never quite gone away.

What’s a former porn star to do?

Posting Date: TBD

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fatehbaz · 1 month

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taking relentless severe psychic damage from watching several hours of videos of television commercial advertisements from the United States in December 1999.

a world-historical moment, an all-time high peak of self-assured smirking arrogance.

ascendant home computers and internet modems. a new millennium! a time after Cold War but before Nining Leven, with saxophone-playing heads of state and cheery Spielbierg-ian sentimentality attempting to plaster over 1970s/1980s disappointments and hangovers with renewed millennarian End-Of-History optimism.

come celebrate with us! look at these images of The Nation! from sparkling Times Square and the cast of "Friends" in bustling cosmopolitan New York City, to sunny Californian prosperity, to those cartoonish frogs in the quasi-mythical Deep South-ish rural periphery of Budweiser ads, and all the suburban Midwestern Kay's Jeweler's in between! planetary hegemony. "Head east from the Colosseum, across the ruts of chariots, and you'll find an imperial estate built by a second-century Caesar. It's a rough ride. And if the agile and durable Chevy Tracker can handle these ancient roads, driving back home will be a walk in the park. Chevy Tracker: It Gets Around!"

or perhaps "our" power extends beyond this terrestrial imperium, into space, conquering the stars. UFOs; space aliens; The X-Files; Independence Day; Space Jam; Men in Black; the Phoenix Lights; Coast to Coast AM on the radio; Space Command in Colorado Springs.

the anxious fragility belied by the desperate constant promotion of an almost religious dedication to recognizable icons.

talking chihuahuas, marketing jingles, annual football game events. self-referential circular cross-promotion maelstrom.

"An all-new holiday spectacular, a Christmas special destined to become a family classic! With music from REM's Michael Stipe, voiced by Ally McBeal's Peter MacNicol, and starring Drew Barrymore! It's Olive the Other Reindeer! At 8/7 Central Fox Friday!"

trying to insist that this "classic" cultural iconography binds us. it has always lived in your heart. fabricating in real-time a supposedly shared history, insisting on this "reality" even at the moment of its very creation. hammering away at the soul.

Daffy Duck saunters in and pronounces: "Eat your way into the new millennium with this 'gigundo' party sub from Subway!"

why aren't you smiling?

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lopsicle · 4 months

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Hi, @fictitious-fluff I’m your Squealing Santa!’I’m sorry this came out in the latter end of December, the holiday season was busy for me and this was my first tickletober!!

This was really fun to write, the prompts you left helped a ton as well!! Hope you enjoy it!!

It’s Not Like I Don’t Like It

Summary: During one of Caine’s adventures, the group splits off into pairs which leads to some very interesting discoveries between Jax and Ragatha.

Characters: Ler! Jax, Ler! Ragatha, rest of the TADC cast

Warnings: Tickle Fic

In The Amazing Digital Circus™, it’s residents could only be sure of one thing. Life would never be dull, whether they liked it or not. It took Pomni some getting used to, much like the rest of the circus members and just like everyone else, she still had no idea what to expect. Whether it was being strapped to a target and having knives thrown at you, being pulled out of a hat, having your limbs played around with like they were apart of a mix and match set, the possibilities were endlessly terrifying. Caine just couldn’t understand how to please them.

He’d set them off on another adventure today, lazily dubbed ‘Sticky Situations’, chosen from a list of hundreds and hundreds of repeated activities for them to be forced into enjoy. The adventure was simple enough though, everyone would be split into pairs and forced to stay with their partner until they found a key that would allow them to separate. And because Caine’s adventures could never be simple, if someone stepped too far away from their partner, they’d be shocked.

The pairings were odd, but fun. Pomni and Kinger, Gangle and Zooble and Jax and Ragatha. Surprisingly, Ragatha was the one to be outraged first.

‘Him?!’ She cried, stomping her foot against the ground and making an over-exaggerated gesture towards Jax. The rabbit looked offended for a moment, his ears growing stiff at the top of his head before he smirked, his beady eyes getting a little wider.

‘Aw, don’t you wanna spent time with me, Dollface?’ He teased, not caring for her answer, just wanting to agitate her. Zooble shot the man a look which he just shrugged off while Pomni looked sympathetically towards Ragatha. She took a step towards the woman, wanting to comfort her but as she was finding the words, another voice overpowered the room.

‘Now that the pairs have been selected, you all have FIVE SECONDS,’ Caine screeched energetically, his eyes popping out of his head for a moment, ‘to stand next to your partner!’

Almost immediately, a pair of hands scooped the small jester up from behind, pulling her away from the red haired woman.

‘Phew, Pomni, I was worried you were gonna get electrocuted!’ Kinger fretted, totally oblivious to what she was trying to do. Pomni nodded along awkwardly, deciding to go along with it.

Begrudgingly, Ragatha made her way other to Jax who decided to stay put, not caring enough to move and knowing his partner wouldn’t risk getting shocked. She had a face like a slapped bulldog though, frowning with her arms crossed over her chest, staring away from the taller man.

‘Alrighty then, enjoy the games and have a spectacular time!’ Caine announced, waving goodbye to the circus crew before disappearing to who knows where. Most of them dissipated fairly quickly, some of them even looking forward to their new pairings. Neither of those were applicable to Jax or Ragatha.

‘Are you gonna move anytime soon?’

Ragatha asked impatiently, Caine’s explanation wasn’t the best; she didn’t know how far she could get from Jax and she didn’t feel like getting shocked.

‘Mmm,’ Jax looked up at the ceiling, pretending to think before staring back down at Ragatha, ‘nah.’

Ragatha’s eye twitched in annoyance, looking about ready to explode in anger at him already. While that would normally be amusing, Jax didn’t have the luxury of retreating as he got an earful of frustrated rants, instead opting to grab Ragatha’s arm and yank her along as he walked.

‘Come on then, let’s get this over with before you throw a tantrum,’ Jax teased her but Ragatha decided not to fight it this time. At least he was actually doing something.

It goes without saying that so far, this was one of their worst adventures yet. They didn’t know how that was possible after going through what felt like an eternity of them, but this easily my took the cake. Their bodies awkwardly bashed into each other to other being shocked, they hadn’t said a word to each other since they started walking and they had no idea where to find the key to free themselves from this God awful social prison. It felt like they were running around in circles inside the circus, and the silence was not doing good for Ragatha’s mental state. The worrying woman was just staring at the floor, questioning if they’d ever find this key. It wasn’t abstracting levels of bad, but it was easy to see that it was taking a toll on her. Even for someone like Jax.

He thought of what to do for a bit, it would be so easy to just ignore it, and Ragatha would deserve it for how she’d treated him today…but this trip was boring enough as it was, the last thing he needed was for them to just not talk.

‘Hey, redhead,’ the rabbit called out abruptly, poking her where her ribs would be with a gloved hand. It took all of her willpower to not jump back and get the both of them electrocuted, though her eyes did widen as a loud squeak exited her mouth. Ragatha covered her mouth afterwards, like she was trying to force the reaction back in before looking down at Jax, whose grin had grown ten times wider. Her eyes narrowed at him, almost like a warning to not say anything. And he didn’t say anything, he just burst out laughing.

‘Pffthahaha, oh my Gahahd, dolly, your ticklish! That’s fuckin’ priceless!’ Jax nearly doubled over laughing, clutching his sides while Ragatha just looked around worriedly, her face getting redder and redder as she hoped no one was hearing him.

‘Shut up, Jax, it’s not that big of a deal!’ Ragatha exclaimed, but her words were honestly true. She doubted anyone else in the circus would care about the grand reveal of her being ticklish of all things, it may be a little interesting to Pomni who was still getting the hang of things here, the only person reacting to it were the two of them. Even then, she should’ve expected something like this from Jax, but being teased about being ticklish was especially flustering to her. Mainly because she…liked it. It was hard not to like to her, it was all warm and fuzzy and made her all squirmy, how could she not enjoy being tickled? Plus, it was like having her real, non-rag doll body again, it reminded her of being a real person outside the circus.

‘Oh, this is a huge deal! I can’t believe it took me this long to find this out…hey, whatcha say we make up for lost time?’ Jax said, his yellow smile getting even wider, taking a soft step closer to Ragatha. The doll in turn, looked up near him, not having the confidence to face Jax directly, especially with her face being so red. She opened her mouth but it was like her insides were completely empty, she couldn’t get anything out of her mouth. Not waiting for an answer, Jax’s hands shot down to Ragatha’s sensitive sides, immediately squeezing at them.

‘Jahahahahahahax!!’ Ragatha shouted from the touch, her hands clasping right over her mouth as her eyes went wide. The woman’s feet tapped against the floor repeatedly, doing her best to not move away. This really was the best worst possible scenario for her.

‘Yeeessss, Dolly?’ The man asked, acting like nothing was wrong here. His dexterous fingers crawled over to Ragatha’s tummy, scratching against the fabric of her dress. Curiously, he was starting to notice how she wasn’t really trying to squirm away from his fingers, it looked like she was bucking into them actually.

‘C-cahahahahan you nanahahahat?!’ The redhead ruffed, struggling to get her words out properly through all her laughter.

‘Well, Raggedy, I don’t think you want me to not,’ Jax mimicked her fractured speech just to tick her off more, but the woman seemed far more preoccupied with the fact that Jax was catching on so easily that she enjoyed this. Of course Jax of all people had to find out, this would be the worst for her! Though, it wasn’t like he stopped tickling her yet…maybe she could enjoy this for a little longer.

‘Juhuhust, shuhuhuhut up!’ Ragatha pouted, tilting her face away from Jax who pulled his hands away for a second, earning a disappointed look for a second. His eyes looked wider and intense, yet somehow had a playful shine in them.

‘Oh, no, no, no, you do not get to tell me to shut up and get away with it!’ Jax called her out before shooting his hands right under her armpits. And that was when Ragatha started screaming.

‘WAIAHAHAHAT, NAHAHAT THEHERE!!’ The woman’s arms clung to her sides instantly, squirming about on the spot with a desperate expression taking over her blushing face. Jax had gotten really lucky just now and landed on her death spot, though she wasn’t complaining. It was sort of relieving in a way, she’d be anxious of him finding this out ever since this tickling attack started so it felt like a weight was lifted now that this was out of the way.

Though, Jax was absolutely loving this. He wouldn’t admit that now that he knew Ragatha actually enjoyed getting tickled, well he didn’t know but it was pretty obvious, but being able to make her screech and laugh was definitely going to be a way for him to kill the time. He messily grabbed at her wrists, clumping them up to hold them with one hand. Then, he raised her arms above her head, leaving that precious death spot of hers on display.

Ragatha tried to wiggle her way out of his grip but it was pretty useless, a couple loose giggles of anticipation slipped out of her mouth, staring over at the rabbit to see when he was going to strike.

‘Alright, let’s see if you can handle this!’ He announced, treating it like it was some game. His fingers began messily poking around the hollows of her armpits to start with, but it quickly morphed into fast, deep scratching against her sensitive skin which drove the woman insane.

‘NAHAHAHAHAHA, I CAHAHHAAHHAN’T!!’ Ragatha admitted instantly, dropping all sense of embarrassment or shame about getting tickled by Jax. Bouncing around on her feet, Ragatha felt like if she was tickled for another second was going to die, or at least get the two electrocuted. While Jax may not care about the first one, he didn’t want to get shocked too and decided to take some pity on the woman.

His hands left her armpits, leaving them with a slight tingling sensation but for the most part, Ragatha recovered pretty quickly. Her face still had a red sheen to it but the shock and horror of the tickling session was passing her now. Until Jax spoke up.

‘Oh, I am so telling everyone about this.’

‘Don’t you dare!’

#sfw tickling community #tickle fic #tickle content #tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc jax #jax #ragatha #tadc ragatha #ler jax #ler! jax #lee ragatha #lee! ragatha #ticklish ragatha #pomni #kinger #squealing santa 2k23 #squealing santa

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asgoodeasgold · 3 months

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"I met him and he had a spectacular energy to him. He was all over the "I met him and he had a spectacular energy to him. He was all over the room. He had a real danger to him, yet he was also funny and charming, which were two really important things to me."

Scott Frank, director of The Lookout, on why he cast Matthew Goode as Gary Spargo, seemingly against type. I love this quote, so telling about the mercurial actor that Matthew is. He will always surprise you.

I thought I would do a Lookout edit today (an under-rated gem of a film noir, I love it so much) to celebrate the fact Scott and Matthew are being reunited in Department Q. This makes for a great team!

🎶 One Big Holiday by My Morning Jacket

📷 The Lookout (2008) my edit

📖 Quote from The Movable Fest interview with Scott Frank and Matthew Goode

#matthew goode #matthewgoode #the lookout #gary spargo #joseph gordon levitt #scott frank #department q #carl morck #film noir

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hannahssimblr · 2 months

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Chapter Twenty-Three

Evie, what do you think of the article in the Tullamore Tribune? Have sent it to you via text message. Big news here at home. Must speak to Caroline soon. Saw Jackie Doyle’s husband at the butcher with a cast on his leg this morning, says he had the foot reversed over outside his house. Ouch! Love mam.

Mam, did you send a link to the article or a photo of the paper? Either way neither has sent. It’s probably too many megabytes, don’t worry about it. I’ll chat to you about it when I’m home next.

“Texting your other boyfriend?” Jude says casually, his back to me as he zips himself into the only pair of trousers he brought on holidays.

“It’s my mother, she’s obsessed with some article she saw in the local paper, I don’t know what it is, probably that the parish priest has died or something, God knows, but the article hasn’t sent.”

“You could ask her to email it maybe?”

“Ugh, it’s not even worth it, the computer at home is barely usable and I’d have to use all my roaming minutes to coach her through that process. I’ve already tried to tell her that texting is expensive.”

He puts his shoes on, “Does she know you’re in Cyprus?”

I pause, “I can’t remember. You can turn around now,” I smooth out the lightweight linen of my new dress, “What do you think?”

Jude pretends to pass out, collapses onto his bed and then slides onto the floor, “Evie,” He groans, “You’re a babe.”

“Get up, you clown,” I snicker, “Why are you always so dramatic?”

“Where did you get that?”

“The market in Paphos.”

“Do a spin for me,” I do, and he clutches his heart and rolls over onto his front.

“Get up! You’ll get dust all over your clothes.”

“You’re right, my only nice clothes too,” He pulls a hair, probably mine, off the front of his shirt, “Something with buttons on it, imagine. I bet you didn’t think I had threads like this.”

“I like it, you look smart. You should wear more shirts with buttons.”

“I would only my fat fingers always fumble them,” I glance at his hands, the most nimble, dexterous and beautiful hands I’ve ever seen on a man and roll my eyes, “Alright, get up, we have to leave now.” I head for the door while he scrambles across the floor to grab a hold of my waist to stop me, “Wait, let me have another look at you.”

“You have a whole evening to look at me,” I protest, hoping my voice doesn’t give away the fact that my entire body is prickling from that look in his eyes, and how much I like seeing him on his knees in front of me. “Come on, we don’t want to keep the guys waiting.”

He tightens his fingers around me, and with a kiss to my belly, says “Here’s to a great last night in Cyprus.”

The restaurant that Claire booked is spectacular. Located in the ruin of an old church, it showcases a perfect, uninterrupted view of the Mediterranean Sea. Aphrodite’s Rock is highlighted perfectly by the setting sun, and the full moon behind it appears enormous as it rises from the glittering horizon.

We cheers with our wine glasses when our drinks arrive, and all of us, tanned, gorgeous and tired, look out over the beach and take languid sips of our drinks. Nobody has called me out on the fact that I swore I wouldn’t order wine and then did anyway when I realised I’d be the only one not having something to drink.

“Claire,” Jude says, ankle to knee, one arm draped over the back of my seat. “Why is it that your parents had a house out here the whole time, and you still decided to spend a summer in Shane Healy’s mobile home?”

She laughs, “Because I was seventeen, and the idea of being on holidays with my parents was really embarrassing,” a waiter brings our food over and places it down in front of us, “I thought it’d have been a bit more craic to be with my friends instead, and like, yeah obviously it wasn’t the most glamorous holiday I ever had, but I still had a good time.”

“She made the right choice,” Shane says, placing a hand around her shoulder.

Jude grins, “And this is the first time you’ve had friends here?”

“Yeah, actually it is.”

“Well, hopefully not the last.”

“Agreed,” I say enthusiastically, “Let’s do this every year, this has been just amazing from start to finish.”

Claire smiles and quickly picks up her fork. “Let’s eat, will we?”

The food is amazing. I have scallops and Jude has Monkfish, but we end up sharing with each other like we usually do, with me putting half of my food onto his plate and him putting half of his onto mine. I try some of Claire’s linguine too, and even a little bit of Shane’s steak despite the fact that he’s not entirely on board with the idea of sharing, as usual. The conversation is so good, it flows as easily as our drinks, and just like at the very best times with friends, everything is easy. I laugh when Claire drops a ribbon of pasta onto her lap, at the face that Shane makes when I hold out the bottle of wine to him and he says “Go on, you’ve talked me into it,” and as the evening settles down and the full moon rises in the sky I’m filled with a rare kind of contentment, like absolutely everything is alright in the world.

“It’s so sad that we’re leaving tomorrow,” Claire laments as our empty dishes are cleared away, “It’s just been so nice to be with all of ye and have a little bit of time away from college and all of that, you know, like you don’t actually get these kinds of breaks very often.”

“True,” I say, “But there’ll be so many more, this is really just the start of it now, I can just feel it.”

“Yes…” she says, and she looks down into her lap. Her lips part as though she wants to say more, but then she doesn’t. I watch her exchange something unspoken with Shane, and as he adjusts himself uncomfortably in his seat the very first seeds of uncertainty settle in my guts. “What?” I say, “Was that awkward of me to say? I didn’t meant to imply that I expect you to put us up in Cyprus every year or something, no, I just meant like-”

“No, it’s fine, Evie. I wasn’t thinking that,” says Claire, “It’s just, like…” She trails off.

“We wanted to invite you on holidays with us because we have to tell you something important,” Shane says. “Something that’s good, like. It’s not bad news at all, it’s just…”

“What-”

“Shane’s been scouted,” Claire blurts out, “By the AFL. They like the way he plays football, so they want him to go play professionally, like.”

I’m already out of my seat and reaching over the table to hug him before the last words have left Claire’s mouth, “Oh God, Shane!” I cry, “That’s amazing, I’m thrilled for you, what the hell, that’s like the best case scenario, you must be so happy,”

“I am, yeah,” He says with a big awkward pat on my back, “Sure it’s good news.”

“It’s amazing news, wow, you kept that one quiet.”

“Well we weren’t really allowed to talk about it until it was fully confirmed,” Claire explains, “You know, just in case anything fell through at the last minute, but like, yeah, at this point it’s fully confirmed, it’s happening.”

“Wow, oh my God, I’m stunned, I just-”

“Hang on a second,” Jude says, “Just to confirm, the AFL? So you’re moving?”

I look at him and then to them and back again, “Moving?”

“Yeah,” Claire says, and tears suddenly spring into her eyes, “To Sydney.”

“Australia?” It’s quiet for several moments after the word leaves my mouth, and nobody even says yeah obviously, Evie, what other Sydney is there? You dope. My hands start to tremble.

“Yeah,” Shane speaks carefully like he’s afraid to spook me, “Oz, like. We’re going in September.”

“Four months?” I cry, “That’s all we have left, four months? What am I going to do when you’re gone? That’s crazy, guys, it’s so far, you can’t just go.”

“Evie, it’s his one chance to do this, we have to try.”

“I’m finishing my degree, I’ll be qualified so I’ve a backup plan, but like, I’ll spend a few years trying to get the football thing going, and if it doesn’t work out that’s fine, I just really need to give it a go.”

“A few years is a long time.”

Claire grabs my hand, and I suddenly feel like a toddler who is throwing a tantrum and needs to be managed. “We’ll be back all the time, for Christmas and different things, and you can always come out and stay with us.”

My lip is trembling, and I realise that she is crying, so I cry too, and let tears careen down my face while the waiter comes back with dessert menus and awkwardly places them in front of us. “It’s good, Evie. This is what we want.”

“But your degree,” I whimper, “Aren’t you going to finish it?”

She laughs thickly, “I couldn’t give two shits about my degree, chick. I’m only in college because my dad paid the fees for it, I’m useless.”

“But-”

“I’m just doing what I’m supposed to be doing, this is what I want, and yeah, I’m sad that I’ll be leaving Ireland but I find it exciting too at the same time. Sure we’re only young, there’s loads of time to try things out,”

“No, I’m happy,” I mop tears from my cheeks, the napkin coming away glittery. “Obviously, I’m really happy, this is amazing…”

“Amazing,” Jude echoes.

“…I’ll just miss you both so much.”

“We’ll miss you too.”

“I never imagined that this would happen.”

“Me neither,” Shane says, “I never thought that the AFL would want me, honestly.”

“Oh of course they would,” I throw my eyes skyward, “Shane Healy, extraordinaire. The most talented man on earth.”

“Dunno about that, now.”

I try to smile, but I end up grimacing hideously instead, teeth clenched, eyes overflowing with tears, “What will I do without you?”

“You’ll be grand, you don’t really need us,”

I don’t think either of them realises how much I do. Who will I confide things in? Who will give me advice that’s hard to hear? Who will take me to doctor’s appointments, force me to get in shape, cook dinner with me, braid my hair, tell me I’m doing alright when I feel like I could fall apart at any minute?

Jude strokes his thumb over my knee beneath the table, “It’s bittersweet, you know? I’m happy for you, Shane.”

“Thanks man,”

“Let’s focus on the time we have left. We have a whole summer before you guys leave, and I really think we can make the most of it, and look,” he turns to me, “We can visit Australia, I’ll take you there, yeah, the flight is long but it’s worth it. It’s amazing, you’ll love it, actually, you’ll all love it. This is something to really look forward to.”

I understand that he’s being optimistic, as usual, but a little toxic part of me wishes that he wouldn’t be, that he’d say something about how it’s too hot in Australia, how the spiders are as big as cats and the food is disgusting just so there’s a chance that Claire and Shane might stay, but I know it’s far too late for that kind of thing.

“It’s so great,” I say through my teeth, “It’s a big change, but it’s just amazing.”

Claire smiles at me tearfully from across the table. “I know,” She mouths.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying so much,” I fan my face as though it’s actually going to achieve something, to dry even a friction of the torrent of moisture on my face. With every blink I feel my mascara transferring onto my lower lids. “I think I just need some air.”

“We’re already outside,” Shane points out, and Claire thumps him on the arm, “That’s not what she means. Go on down to the beach for a walk, Evie, it’s fine. We can just finish up here, and you can text us when you’re feeling a little bit better.”

I get up from my seat, “Okay, I’ll just… I’ll just go down there now, I’ll be fine. I’m delighted, really, it’s just a surprise is all, I’m grand.”

“We know, it’s okay.”

“Wow, what big news,” I try to laugh at myself but the sound that comes out of me is more like a wet rattle. “Fab.” I partially shove my way through other diners to get out of the restaurant, absolutely loathing myself for having such an intense reaction. I wonder what is wrong with me during the whole walk down the sandy bank and towards the beach, and I hate myself even more as I face the sea and hack out one huge, outrageous and unjustified sob.

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky girl part 3 #a lot happening in this chapter tbh

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waitmyturtles · 1 year

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I finished The Makanai: Cooking for the Maiko House this weekend, and I feel like I’m still laid out flat by what I watched. I’ve been so consumed with QLs lately, that jumping into a wholly different world of filmmaking was a touch of a shock. IT WAS ABSOLUTELY STUNNING, and I have to wholeheartedly RECOMMEND IT as a must-watch for 2023. LONG post!

First off: Koreeda Hirokazu. A MASTER director and screenwriter. His taking on the canon manga, Kiyo in Kyoto, had fans in anticipation for The Makanai to premiere on Netflix. My two favorite films of his are After Life (1998) and Like Father, Like Son (2013). He doesn’t shy away particularly from difficult stories about families and complicated relationships, and tends to cast familiar faces, especially Lily Franky. His latest film, Broker, has been on the awards circuit this season.

A couple of quick definitions and explanations before I move forward. This is a show about what us in the West called “geisha” culture in Kyoto. A maiko is an apprentice geisha, and geiko is the word for geisha in Kyoto’s dialect. A makanai means a person who cooks staff meals, say, at a restaurant or another kind of business where staffers get fed.

Kiyo in Kyoto is about the teenage protagonist, Kiyo, becoming the makanai of a maiko lodging residence in Kyoto, after she follows her best friend, Sumire (later known as Momohana), to Kyoto to apprentice as maiko. Sumire has a natural talent for this work, while Kiyo is a carefree, unburdened soul who isn’t committed to much in her young life. Kiyo is expelled from her maiko apprenticeship, but asks to become the makanai of the lodging house, and is able to stay in Kyoto, and close to Sumire, as Kiyo had promised to remain by Sumire’s side during their journey into apprenticeships. Both Kiyo and Sumire are from the same town in Aomori Prefecture, the northernmost prefecture on Honshu island, just south of Hokkaido. In Aomori, Kiyo lived with her grandmother, a local doting soul, and her grandmother’s kitchen is where Kiyo first found her passion for food and cooking. Finally, Sumire is in love with their mutual friend, Kenta, who is a high school baseball star in Aomori. It’s not clarified directly, but it’s apparent that Sumire’s love is unrequited, and indeed, it’s indirectly indicated that Kenta might be more inclined towards Kiyo. Kenta is shown sitting with Kiyo’s grandmother for many meals, including holiday meals, without explanation as to his own family.

So that’s already A LOT to manage, and still, Koreeda takes on more -- he takes on the unbelievable setting that is Kyoto and the Gion district, as well as flashbacks to winter-strewn Aomori; he takes on rivalries, regrets, sisterhood, and more among the women of geiko and maiko culture; he takes on the breathtaking theme of unrequited and resistant love, and he takes on the theme of complicated -- very complicated -- friendship, leveraging Kiyo as an unburdened foil and mirror to reflect on the complicated natures of the people around her.

First off, if you are at all inclined to be taken away simply by cinematography, you MUST WATCH THIS SHOW. I haven’t watched anything more beautiful in a VERY long time. This brings up for me the wonderful conversation that took place last month regarding the sense of space in QLs; in regards to the sense of space and how ma (that very intricate concept of place, time, and space) is incorporated into doramas -- I haven’t seen a show that does it better than The Makanai at the moment.

The way Koreeda captured seasons. The way he incorporated fashion -- what geikos and maikos wear during performances, on their off-time, during celebrations -- my GOD. The way he used COLOR. The way he used quiet, and sound, to lift up conversations outside in spectacular settings. The way he held shots. SUMPTUOUS. I was totally taken away.

Two shots that moved me: Kiyo in a sento bathhouse, humming to herself. (She’s later teased, without her knowing, by some of the maiko, for being like an old man, scrubbing and humming in the sento.)

Kiyo, Kenta, and Sumire, a flashback to Aomori, Kiyo and Kenta shoveling snow while Sumire built a snowman. And an immediate cut to Sumire watching Kiyo shovel snow in Kyoto. The quietness and the beauty gave me physical chills.

Kiyo as a free soul, moved by her passion for cooking and not much else, is leveraged so beautifully as a means of a young woman being in a place at a particular time, without carrying the emotional burden of existence that many of us place on our shoulders. She’s not the person who asks why something is happening in her life. She’s the one who’s feeding the people who are doing that asking unto themselves, and suffering either because of that inquiry, or suffering simply because of an inability to transcend what they’re going through. Kiyo is clearly a Zen-like foil -- even though she’s treated often as someone “with a screw loose,” as the geiko Momoko says to Sumire in the last episode. But I think Kiyo is far more in touch with the world than anyone else that surrounds her in the show. She’s the human embodiment of ma.

So, speaking of cooking: the reason why I picked up this show is because friends of mine recommended it to me as a cooking dorama, and certainly, a lot of news coverage in the West focuses much on the food of the show. Many of the Western articles, I think, miss many points about the show, and I think it’s in part for a lack of understanding about how food and cooking are so emotionally interwoven in unspoken aspects of Asian cultures. (A lot of commentary I’m reading just focuses on the dishes -- and the dishes are incredibly important, especially in how Kiyo interprets them from her Aomori taste, adjusting seasonings and techniques for the group of maiko she’s serving who hail from across Japan. But the dishes are not the only, or the most important, aspects to this show.)

Kiyo is often asked if she’s okay with being the makanai. She kept her promise to her friend, Sumire, Sumi-chan, to stay by Sumire’s side. Sumire would ideally like to keep Kiyo by her side -- if Kenta likes Kiyo, it’s better to keep Kiyo in Kyoto. But also: Sumire is primed to be the next best maiko and geiko in Gion, as Momoko predicts (Momoko is the star geiko of Gion), and Sumire will need an ally. Kiyo is Sumire’s ally -- and we’re not sure if Sumire has Kiyo’s best interests at hand.

But Kiyo insists that she’s okay, that she wants to be the makanai. Even at 16, she says, this may be the job I was intended to have. Kiyo radiates simplicity in a fantastic, uplifting way. I think Western critics are missing this. Western food media tends to absolutely glorify, many times in horrific and ignorant ways, dishes without the cultural context of the cooking, preparation, or history of those dishes. In other words, Western media erases the stories behind the cooking.

The Makanai is ALL ABOUT THE STORIES BEHIND THE COOKING. Kiyo is a makanai, and to Kiyo, that’s just fine. She doesn’t find it demeaning because she is not demeaned. She even seems surprised when she’s asked by a lodge okkasan if she’s okay with this job.

Food brings comfort, memories. It satisfies hunger, needs. Comfort, memories, hunger, needs -- these are HUGE, huge. Kiyo does that? That’s massive emotional work. She knows exactly what she’s doing.

So, what all does this show have? Absolutely EXQUISITE cinematography, and an unwinding, mature story focused on the journeys of two teenagers, with ambition, rivalry, regret, love (requited, unrequited, unresolved), and beyond unbelievable acting.

It’s an absolute CRIME that I can’t take screenshots (eff you, Netflix), but here’s two. Hashimoto Ai, as Momoko, is on the right of the first shot. Imagine her kimono as brilliant sky blue. The fashion choices and colors in this show were mindblowing. Hashimoto Ai, by the way -- I STAN. What a CONCRETE performance.

The reason why I chose the second shot, of Sumire in her daily lessons, is because the light from the windows reminds me of when I first started to learn how to meditate years and years ago. The Makanai is one of the most meditative shows that I’ve seen in years, and I CANNOT recommend it highly enough. Utterly breathtaking.

#the makanai cooking for the maiko house #mori nana #natsuki deguchi #hashimoto ai #tokiwa takako #hirokazu koreeda #after life #like father like son #broker #netflix #netflix japanese dramas

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sitp-recs · 1 year

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Hi Liv! I just want to let you know that your blog is the only thing getting me through grad school. It's my one moment of solace before going to sleep. Do you know any fics where Draco is some kind of hedonist and introduces Harry to all the luxuries he's been missing so far? I need that in my life!

Oh anon, I’m sorry grad school has been rough! I know I don’t miss those days 😔 very happy to hear the blog offers you comfort and solace. And I love the hedonist!Draco take, I wanna find more fics like that tbh! Here are some great reads that came to mind:

Still Life, orphaned (2019, M, 3k)

Cake by astolat (2016, M, 4.3k)

Harry tried not to care when after the war, everyone he knew seemed to have made an agreement to stop paying attention to birthdays.

Steal/Keep by @shealwaysreads (2021, E, 4.6k)

The stealing was all Hermione’s idea, though Harry still doesn’t think anyone would believe him if he told them.

push and pull you down by @bonesliketambourines (2020, E, 5k)

Harry's resigned himself to petty, inconsequential cases and no real connection to his job at the Auror department—after all, what else would he be doing with his time? He's not happy, not really, but that hardly matters. A chance encounter with a mostly-naked Draco Malfoy exposes him to an entirely different world, one much more colourful than the lonely one he currently occupies—but at what cost?

Reparatio by astolat (2016, E, 17k) - maybe not a perfect fit but I couldn’t resist, this fic is brilliant

Draco snorted. “I’m not reduced to penury. I want something considerably beyond money, and I rather think you’re the only one can give it to me.”

amid this warm and steady sweetness by warmfoothills (2019, E, 21k)

Harry is not living in a period drama, no matter what his friends or his new house or Malfoy’s sudden affinity for horse-riding might suggest, and if one more person uses the word courting, he’s going to start hexing people.

A Summer in Bordeaux by @zigster-ao3 (2021, E, 28k)

Harry turns. Malfoy leans against the doorway to the back garden under the halo of a gaslamp dangling overhead. The warm glow of the flame casts him in a golden light, and he’s framed on either side by trailing grapevines cascading over the garden walls. So soft, Harry thinks, where the Malfoy in his mind once seemed so sharp.

Shine, Even in the Darkness by raitala (2014, E, 41k)

Harry hasn’t seen Draco for over fifteen years, but now he’s showing up everywhere and Harry is sort of weirdly attracted to him, but that can’t be right?

Sweeten to Taste by @saintgarbanzo (2021, E, 51k)

It starts with Draco's buckwheat crepes with honeyed oranges. Or maybe it starts with his porridge with toasted walnuts and homemade apple butter. Or perhaps it starts with the cinnamon buns Draco made from scratch with mascarpone icing. Harry just knows he's hungry for more.

Against All Odds by momatu (2015, E, 54k)

Beauxbatons is hosting the first ever Quidditch Summer School for children from all over Europe, and Harry has promised to enroll Teddy as his birthday present. Meanwhile, Draco is stuck in his office, putting together the first ever Quidditch Summer School for children from all over Europe during, when he should be enjoying summer holidays.

Nights With You by @the-sinking-ship (2022, E, 58k)

Draco is mortified when moments prior to departing for the most anticipated destination wedding of the year, he is cruelly dumped. But when he learns that Harry Potter has, at long last, split with his horrible boyfriend, Draco is certain his luck has changed. Never a man to squander an opportunity for revenge (and what would probably be a spectacular shag), Draco vows to make Potter his for the weekend.

Criminal by @the-sinking-ship (2020, E, 83k)

Things were going just fine for Draco Malfoy. He successfully conned and counted cards across Europe and America, amassing a small fortune, along with a lengthy rap sheet. That was until he made the grave mistake of returning to England for a high stakes card game and got himself caught – by Harry Potter no less.

#asks #anon #drarry reclist #hedonist Draco spoiling Harry #good food 🥘#sending much love anon!

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thisurlwasnttakenbutnowitis · 6 months

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Every Epic Rap Battle of History Ranked, Part 2

Part 1

57. Genghis Khan vs Easter Bunny

Winner: Easter Bunny

Best line: "The Great Wall couldn't keep you out of China. Watch me rub my foot for luck and stick it right up your vagina!"

Okay, okay, this is probably higher than it has any right to be, but damn it, I just love this pairing. You have a historical warlord famous for his brutality battling with a peaceful holiday icon for kids and I think the contrast is hilarious. It's nothing spectacular, but this has to be my favorite of season 1's "two completely random characters with no relation" battles.

56. Wonder Woman vs Stevie Wonder

Winner: Wonder Woman

Best line: "My rhymes are signed, sealed, and delivered on time. You're a bald has-been, I'm in my Amazon Prime!"

While I was always aware of Stevie Wonder's music, this battle actually made me look into it and appreciate it more. I love the touch of how Stevie's music style in this is a mix of his own as well as that of his actor, T-Pain. Also the quote above might just be one of my favorite lines in ERB history - I LOVE when a line can manage to mix in wordplay that relates to both rappers. Mwah, chef's kiss.

55. Master Chief vs Leonidas

Winner: Master Chief

Best line: "300 asses need a kickin'. Give more teebags than Lipton."

We're in the section of the list of good battles with nothing to really complain about, but also with nothing spectacular so there's not really much to say. I'm not a Halo guy so some of the references went over my head - I didn't get "You're the solider they need you to be" until looking it up just now, and yeah, that's a pretty funny line that I didn't appreciate when I was younger. It was also a good call to have Lloyd still be the voice of Leonidas but cast an actual muscular man to be the body actor; we definitely didn't need another Hulk Hogan muscle suit situation.

54. Goku vs Superman

Winner: Goku

Best line: "There's only one way that this battle's gonna end: One more Superman who's never gonna walk again."

Ray William Johnson was a great casting choice for Goku; he brings a lively and memorable performance to the show. Although I didn't think Goku was quite so angry? Idk, I'm also not a Dragon Ball guy (forgive me for being such an uncultured swine and not knowing a lot of these series). Lloyd's Superman is pretty basic by comparison; it gets the job done, but it's like Sinatra vs Mercury where it gets overshadowed hard by the other performer.

53. Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney

Winner: Mitt Romney

Best line: "Republicans need a puppet and you fit. Got their hand so far up your rear, call you Mitt."

Man, remember when we thought Mitt Romney was the worst the Republican party could throw at us? Simpler times, man. Simpler times. This battle is the most-viewed in ERB history, which I think is kinda weird since I feel like people were way more into the 2016 and 2020 elections overall. But this was also the first election battle, and when ERB was still a relatively new series, so maybe it was the novelty of it at the time. Or maybe because Obama and Romney were both more well-liked than Trump, Clinton, and Biden. I dunno, I'm getting off-track here.

I thought for years that this battle was pretty well-balanced in terms of not showing favoritism to one side, though I thought Romney's line "I'm not gonna let this battle be dictated by facts" was a pretty biased writing choice. But it turns out that that's almost a direct quote from Romney himself, so uhh. I also love how both opponents break down into slinging childish insults at each other by the end, it really goes to show that it's not glorifying either candidate. And that's proven true by the iconic scene of Abe Lincoln coming down and bitchslapping them both. Classic.

The real Obama is known to have seen this battle too and apparently liked it given that he invited Peter and the actor who played Obama here to the White House, so that's neat.

52. John Wick vs John Rambo vs John McClane

Winner: John McClane

Best line: "And lighten up, Wick, with your brooding saga. How 'bout a little hakuna matata, Baba Yaga?"

This is the first and so far only battle that's a three-way fight from the start, so that really ensures that all three characters are given ample time to all diss each other. I like it! The highlight here is definitely Lloyd's McClane, he's a delight to watch, and he perfectly captures how McClane is the lighthearted everyman of the group. Zach's John Wick is no slouch either, capturing the cool seriousness of the character. Where this battle falls flat though, and the only reason it's not in A, is Peter's Rambo. It's trying to be funny and it's just… not really funny. It's the kind of Sylvester Stallone impression that would get a chuckle out of you if your high school friend did it in the halls, but it just feels out of place in a professional production like this.

I love the subtle ways the backing track changes between characters too, with McClane getting some sleigh bells added in for his part, Wick getting a deep synth noise, and Rambo getting some somber strings. Really nice stuff.

51. Artists vs TMNT

Winner: TMNT

Best line: "Uh, Dona-tell me who you are again, dude, 'Cause I don't Gattamelata clue what you do."

My only complaint about this battle is that it's just too damn short. This would be a pretty short battle even by 1-on-1 standards, but when you have 8 separate characters, each one barely gets anything to say. But what's here is great. Rhett and Link and Smosh is a good pairing that gives a lot of energy to the artists, and the turtle suit that the team managed to make for the TMNT is great. When the only negative I can think of for a battle is that I wish there was more of it, you know it's a good battle.

A TIER

50. George Carlin vs Richard Pryor

Winner: Joan Rivers

Best line: "Now there's seven words you can't say on a TV set. But this is the pissin' fuckin' cuntin' internet!"

I'm realizing now how much work this entire thing is given how much I've written so far and we're only just now cracking the top 50. Still not even halfway there, damn. But anyway, this is a great tribute to a whole bunch of legendary comedians. It's a whole lot of fun to watch, and every performer captures the larger-than-life personalities on display. Lloyd's Robin Williams is a particular highlight. The only downside is Bill Cosby's part, it's not really funny and kinda just kills the pace. But it's thankfully short so it's not enough to ruin it.

49. Mario Bros vs Wright Bros

Winner: Wright Bros

Best line: "You might fly like a hawk, but you fight like a kitty!"

This was the first guest appearance of Rhett and Link and also the first 2-on-2 battle, and I think it does a really good job. Mario and Luigi are played absolutely nothing like their actual characters, but it's so far off that it's honestly hilarious.

48. David Copperfield vs Harry Houdini

Winner: David Copperfield

Best line: "My grand illusions make your parlor tricks irrelevant. The foot of Lady Liberty is stomping on your elephant."

Now THIS is a magician vs magician battle that actually lives up to the idea visually, eat your heart out, Gandalf vs Dumbledore. While Houdini is definitely the more interesting person to watch in this battle with all of the stunts he performs while rapping, I can't help but like Peter's silky smooth Copperfield voice, it's gotta be one of my favorite voices he's done.

47. Eastern Philosophers vs Western Philosophers

Winner: Eastern Philosophers

Best line: "You tried to plant a new German psyche, but you just grew hate, me no Third Reichy!"

This is a very smartly-written battle, as it should be given the subject matter. Every philosopher gets a chance to sum up what they're all about, and the contrasts work perfectly - Lao Tzu's philosophy of letting life take you through its natural course vs Nietzsche saying you need to take control and fight for the life you want, and Confucius's teaching of respecting authority vs Voltaire's challenging of authority. …Socrates vs Sun Tzu doesn't really have a direct contrast like that, but hey, that's okay. You can tell a lot of research went into this one, and it's really worth looking into the meanings of the lyrics because some of it will definitely go over your head if you're not super into philosophy.

46. Blackbeard vs Al Capone

Winner: Al Capone

Best line: "You spent time in Alcatraz, I'm sure you were fine, if you dropped the soap as little as you drop dope rhymes."

Both Peter and Lloyd were clearly having fun with this one, they're both in their element when they're playing characters with big personalities and fun voices to imitate. The lyrics are great and dense too; this was the first battle of season 3 besides Vader vs Hitler 3, and I think season 3 is really when the series started hitting its stride with rappers' verses becoming longer and more packed with deeper meanings.

I only have two minor criticisms with this battle - first, Blackbeard's beard looks way too nice and clean, and it's especially apparent when Capone has a line about how dirty it is. Second, this video was sponsored by Assassin's Creed IV, which is all well and good, but forcing in a line about Edward Kenway and having him physically appear in the background really destroys my suspension of disbelief and dates the video hardcore. But neither of these things are enough to ruin an otherwise very good battle.

45. Rick Grimes vs Walter White

Winner: Walter White

Best line: "Ask Gus, you don't wanna face off against me."

Okay, so, confession time: I have not watched either of the shows that are represented in this battle (Breaking Bad is on my to-watch list though). And oops, this vid's got a lot of spoilers for both series. Ah well. Despite not knowing a whole lot about either universe, I still think this battle is a lot of fun to watch. I particularly love the detail of a zombie crossing into Walt's side and getting distracted by meth - touches like that to tie the worlds of the two rappers together are always a treat.

44. Darth Vader vs Hitler

Winner: Hitler

Best line: "You stink, Vader. Your style smells something sour. You need to wash up, dog. Here, step in my shower."

Here we go. While Lennon vs O'Reilly might have come first, I think we can all agree that this is the real start of ERB. This is what made the series into a viral sensation and it's not hard to see why. The novelty of seeing a historical figure battle his fictional equivalent in a rap battle of all things was something unseen up until that point, and it helps that the lyrics were incredibly clever to boot - in addition to the iconic quote above, who could forget "So many dudes been with your mom, who even knows if I'm your father". I'm sure Disney would like everyone to forget that the Stormtroopers were named after Hitler's troops, but this battle stands as an eternal reminder of that fact.

43. Mr. T vs Mr. Rogers

Winner: Mr. Rogers

Best line: "I'll say this once, Laurence. I hope it's understood: Get right back in your van and get the fuck out of my neighborhood."

Peter's acting here is pretty similar to how he portrayed Bob Ross, but his portrayal of Mr. Rogers easily wins in my mind for how much more savage the insults are. Even though Rogers definitely steals the show here, Mr. T also manages to be very entertaining. It's hilarious how he's screaming at Rogers the whole time while Rogers consistently keeps his cool while hurling passive-aggressive lines.

Also, whew! We're officially halfway done with this list!

42. Jacques Cousteau vs Steve Irwin

Winner: Steve Irwin

Best line: "I'm a wild man, you're a subdued sub dude. The only crocs you could handle are some slip-on shoes!"

This battle's an interesting role reversal - usually it's Lloyd portraying the grumpy character and Peter portraying the lively one. But it goes to show that the two of them have the acting chops to go either way. Especially Lloyd, he's really entertaining when he can let his silliness out. I love how in the part where Steve is pointing to Jacques and talking about him like he's a wild animal, you can tell Peter is holding in laughter.

41. Tony Hawk vs Wayne Gretzky

Winner: Wayne Gretzky

Best line: "You and I have so many world records between us. 184, that's plenty of 'em… and I set 183 of 'em!"

This is a very slept-on battle, being the lowest-viewed of any of the pre-hiatus battles (though 18 million views still certainly ain't bad). I still remember my first time watching this battle as someone who didn't really know anything about Wayne Gretzky aside from "he was a hockey player", my jaw fucking dropped at that world records line. Absolutely killer setup and execution.

40. Jack the Ripper vs Hannibal Lecter

Winner: Hannibal Lecter

Best line: "I don't mind that you're naughty, Jack. I hate that you're sloppy."

I can't imagine that this one was particularly easy to write for given the very little we know about Jack the Ripper. I was gonna say, "Oh this battle was made before we knew his true identity", but apparently it's still not really agreed upon who he really was and the mystery gets "solved" again and again every few years. Anyway, Lloyd is great as Hannibal, his faces and mannerisms are perfect, and Dan Bull provides an interesting interpretation of the type of person Jack may have been. I love that Jack spends his entire first verse purely hyping himself up and Hannibal calls him out on being a narcissist, it's something that kinda shocks you as a viewer cause it's something you probably don't even notice on the first viewing, and you're also not expecting the video itself to point it out. It really sells the "Hannibal is one step ahead" kind of vibe.

39. Vlad the Impaler vs Count Dracula

Winner: Vlad the Impaler

Best line: "Imagine forests of corpses dripping on a buffet. You call that a nightmare? I call that a Tuesday."

Vlad the Impaler is probably the single most cold, brutal character ERB has ever had, and Lloyd gets some truly bone-chilling line deliveries in as him. Peter's Dracula is great too, the whole thing of a killer with class being disgusted by a killer who's just trying to be vicious actually makes it quite similar to Jack the Ripper vs Hannibal now that I think about it.

38. Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong

Winner: Babe Ruth

Best line: "So c'mon, little buddy, don't look so pissed. With all that blood and attitude, you're like a menstrual cyclist."

Like Hawk vs Gretzky, this is another athlete vs athlete video, and you'd expect the odds to immediately be stacked against Armstrong by virtue of the fact that you have a known cheater going up against an athlete with integrity. But Armstrong actually manages to put up a damn good rebuttal, taking shots at Ruth's personal life instead. I still think Ruth won, but both rappers actually manage to knock it out of the park, pun entirely intended.

Also unrelated to the battle itself but I've always thought the face Lloyd makes in the thumbnail of this one makes him look like James Rolfe.

37. James Bond vs Austin Powers

Winner: James Bond (modern)

Best line: "After 24 films, I'm still reaching new heights. Your third movie died, guess you only live twice."

I've always kinda wondered why Peter was cast as Austin Powers in this, I think Lloyd looks a lot more like Mike Myers. I guess they didn't want to have a battle where Peter is completely excluded while Lloyd gets to play two characters. That being said, Peter does nail the Austin Powers impression, so it's all good. This battle's a really cool concept, a character rapping against their own parody version, and then an earlier version of the character comes in and disses on their modern version. The battle does basically cease to be about Austin Powers at that point, but I think it works because neither version of Bond considers him a serious opponent.

This battle is loaded with great lines too - in addition to the quote above, we also have "I'm licensed to kill, you couldn't get a learner's permit", "Spell my name, all the ladies wanna B on D, any sex appeal you might have is beyond me", "I only need one round, golden gun", and "I don't need a Q to break your balls". Brilliantly clever writing.

I will say that the background effects for modern Bond, while they definitely do look cool, are a bit too much to the point of being distracting. Maybe it was a deliberate choice to contrast with classic Bond though, as a way to convey that the modern Bond films are a lot more about flashy spectacle than the more grounded stories the early films had, I dunno.

36. Mozart vs Skrillex

Winner: Skrillex

Best line: "I attack, you decay, can't sustain my releases! Sidechain, Wolfgang! Bangarang you to pieces!"

This battle is everything that Bieber vs Beethoven should have been - a battle between a modern musician and a classical one that actually gives the modern one a fighting chance. Plus it actually changes the background music to match the style of whoever's rapping! This battle is great, no real notes here. Mozart's line about "in two more months the world will forget about your Skrill-excrement" has aged pretty well too given how Skrillex's star has definitely faded since this video's release.

This battle is also notable for being the only one where a real person that was portrayed in an ERB has actually performed it themselves! Skrillex, obviously, not Mozart. The real Skrillex actually came out as a surprise guest appearance in a live performance of the song and helped Lloyd finish it out. I admit, I didn't really know what Skrillex actually looked like, but seeing him side-by-side with Lloyd in costume, yeah, the team nailed his look.

35. Ragnar Lodbrok vs Richard the Lionheart

Winner: Ragnar Lodbrok

Best line: "Your son killed your ex, your ex killed your wife. I'm the Lion King, man, but that's a messed-up circle of life."

This is what I love about ERB, man. I had never even heard of either of these historical figures before this battle, but I watched it, loved the song, got curious what all the lyrics meant, did research on both men, and then went back and rewatched the video with the new knowledge to catch all the references. ERB is truly at its best when it's making learning fun.

Interestingly, the reason this battle was even made in the first place was because the mobile game that sponsored it reached out to Peter and Lloyd and asked if they would make a battle between two of the historical figures in their game in exchange for the sponsorship. Given that the battle was effectively made as an ad for a mobile game, it's shocking how good it turned out. You'd really never know that's how it came to be just looking at the end product.

34. Darth Vader vs Hitler 2

Winner: Darth Vader

Best line: "Roar like Chewbacca, the voice of Mufasa, I'm on the leader of your limp-dicked Luftwaffe!"

And here we go, the second of the Vader vs Hitler trilogy is easily the best one. I feel like it struck the perfect balance - it was bigger and more epic than the first while not feeling fatigued on the idea like the third. Season 2 kicked off with this and you could immediately tell the jump in production quality from season 1. This video had an intro and everything, continuing off from Hitler being frozen in carbonite from the first battle. It's great, what else can I say?

33. Cleopatra vs Marilyn Monroe

Winner: Marilyn Monroe

Best line: "You still got no children after your third marriage. You lost so many babies, we should call you Miss Carriage!"

This was the first battle where neither Peter nor Lloyd play one of the rappers, even though it is not the first female-on-female battle (but we don't talk about Gaga vs Palin). But both performers do a stellar job; I love how Marilyn's demeanor goes from the giggling flirtiness we know her for to becoming increasingly pissed off and hysterical as Cleopatra hurls more and more insults at her (Marilyn's "Translate this into hieroglyphs: Your sandy vagina has a seven-year itch" would have won best line were it not for the sheer brutality of the Miss Carriage line). And getting a professional dancer to portray Cleopatra was a great choice; she's still one of the most visually interesting rappers to have ever been on the series. And no, I don't just mean that in an ogling way.

Also, I think this is the only battle where the same person starts it and closes it out? Which does lead to Cleopatra feeling like she doesn't get as much screen time, but it's certainly not a dealbreaker.

32. Moses vs Santa Claus

Winner: Moses

Best line: "It takes nine reindeers to haul your fat ass. You took the Christ out of Christmas and just added more mass."

This battle was definitely meant to be a stand-in for Jesus vs Santa; that was the matchup we all really wanted to see. But someone somewhere must have gotten cold feet about dissing a figure that millions worship, so Jesus got swapped out for someone Jesus-adjacent. Hey, I'm a Christian, and I know I still would have found a Jesus rap battle hilarious.

But whatever, even though it's not exactly what we wanted, what we did get was still great. The fact that they actually managed to get motherfucking Snoop Dogg as a guest star because he happened to be using the same studio as ERB at the time still blows my mind; I don't think any guest star is ever gonna top that. And they certainly had some fun with having him on board - I love that they managed to make jokes referencing him while still being appropriate for Moses, like "smoking all that burning bush", or "so much drama in the IsraeL B.C.". This is a battle that just always puts a smile on my face.

31. Nikola Tesla vs Thomas Edison

Winner: Nikola Tesla

Best line: "I don't alternate my flow, I diss you directly!"

I love how this battle really leans into how we now perceive Tesla and Edison, with Tesla being a hero for the people and Edison as the greedy villain who kept him down. Good stuff. Don't really have a whole lot to say about this one, it's just a good battle with two very memorable personalities, and Peter's Tesla voice is very pleasant to listen to. And of course, the electric synth in the background track was a must.

30. JRR Tolkien vs George RR Martin

Winner: George RR Martin

Best line: "All your bad guys die and your good guys survive. We can tell what's gonna happen by page and age five!"

All right, so, I ain't the most well-versed in the fantasy genre, but I still really like this one. The underlying argument between the two men here is something I've seen time and time again on the internet - "happy endings are boring and predictable" versus "eschewing happy endings just for the sake of it isn't automatically good". It makes for good battle fodder. Also I just love Lloyd's performance here - it's so loud and boisterous, and his "No he didn't!" is A+.

Okay folks, click here for the third and final part as we rank the best of the best!

#epic rap battles of history #erb

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disneyvoguemagazine · 3 months

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#RileyKeough #TheRunaways #DisneyVogue #February2024 #Cover #MarvelComics @runaways #MarvelRunAways

#RileyKeoughDisneyVogue #RileyKeoughVoguecover #MMCXXII

#DanielleRileyKeough is an American actress. She made her feature film debut in a supporting part in the musical biopic The Runaways, portraying Marie Currie. Keough subsequently starred in the independent thriller The Good Doctor, before being cast in a minor role in Steven Soderbergh's comedy film Magic Mike.

enxantingxmen

When she inquired the vogue Disney editors how she could be 'IN' the graphic novel ‘#enXanting’

i.e[A doujinshi in the likeness of Marvel Comics popular genre X-MEN series, a star crossing of collaborations and ambitions in brand ambassadorships for the celebrities who get to star within the pages for being from the Treacherous horrowing bullying has proved the characters who’s stories are told within the pages of this graphic novel are rewarded with the prize of being a face for a luxury brand or musical aspirational figures getting to participate in the rare slots being featured in the ever popular festival a celebration ‘Tomorrowland’ stages! Those who are suffering at the hands of monsterious bullies and out of control nettizens can find themselves being rescued by the ‘black cat glitch;Chanel’ of the Matrix’s trilogies anthologies. Many find themselves reaching out to the artist and writers of the online publication in hopes that they too will be dawned the spotlight in order to be bolstered by the courage and confidence the new edition has made a name for itself among comic book fans and in the communities for what the cultures about the subject matter captivate.]

Of the first she wasn't taken seriously as the editor politely smiled at her and brushed off the question as if she was asking where the restroom was located in a different language , then in a separate photo shoot, She asked again this time being pointed in the directions of the infamous #Marvel DiscJockey #DjHotWheels [ An ambassador of @MATTEL for the toy car collections this DJ and Disney promoter has helped many celebrities and Disney Stars make a name for themselves using an artist or actors works remixed into their sounds you’ll find this artist music empowering yet fringe.]

During her time at the #TomorrowlandPresents stages at a Disneyland event promoting their #HiddenStages DiscJockeys Tours Riley K, a VIP backstage lshe would ask the music artist between their sets about how to get into the pages. From here the disc jockey pointed her in the direction of Disney and Mattel’s superstar legend #DjParisHilton the princess herself who she got to attend one of the mogul’s famous brunchs located at the top of Disneyland magic castle recently decorated in a ‘Frozen’ theme the very top of the castle is where Paris Hiltons private penthouse is located says a MouseQuteers insider who passed Riley onto the guest list of this most iconic event. Here is where the best view of Disneyland parks epic Fireworks show can be seen from the best view of her Disney castles penthouse windows balcony. This year ‘Jubilation Lee’ also known as ‘Jubilee’ [Of the Marvel Avengers Academy located at California Adventure park] with her dazzling ability to manifest sparkling fireworks and lights from her hands, the popular X-MEN will be hosting the parks fireworks events at both times for the Disneyland parks! Don’t miss this spectacular most Uncanny event as she will only be hosting her show until the last performance being on the 4th of July, after that holiday the fireworks show will continue in its original way #MMCXXII X

#20XX #2024

Disneyland Parks will be hosting this event! When asked, Paris promised that she would get the cover feature for next issue of their online editorial and claim the feature story.

Trusting the alumni #MouseClub/ #MouseQuteer [DJ/ParisHilton: #secretmouseclub circa #20XX #MarvelComicsMouseQuteers ] When skeptics asked insider columnist #DeeryLou @Sanrio the journalist took a moment to call a source and confirmed that she would be gracing next months cover [#DisneyVogue Online Magazines #February2024 ] of the fringed #DisneyVogue a #DisneyMagazine and publication effort still in process / patent. Stay tuned to find out what #NickiMinaj had to say about her #Marvel debut for the magazines cover and the cluster of fumbles that made her miss her cover debut for the magazine, a series of unfortunate events. Riley was photographed by PIBE Magazine Nathaniel

#riley keough #rileykeough Disney vogue #vogue cover #February 2024 #happybirthday Riley keough #Disney Magazine #DisneyVogue #MMCXXII #20XX #marvel runaways #runaways #runaways Marie curry

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derekklenadaily · 10 months

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REMINDER: 'A Holiday Spectacular' will be airing on Friday, July 21st at 4:00 PM EST on the Hallmark Channel for "Christmas in July!" So mark your calendars and set up your DVRs!

#derek klena #broadway #ginna claire mason #film: a holiday spectacular #a holiday spectacular cast #a holiday spectacular #photos

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eddie-redmayne-italian-blog · 7 days

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‘Cabaret’ Review: What Good Is Screaming Alone in Your Room?

Eddie Redmayne and Gayle Rankin star in a buzzy Broadway revival that rips the skin off the 1966 musical.

Eddie Redmayne, center, as the Emcee in Rebecca Frecknall’s revival of “Cabaret” at the August Wilson Theater in Manhattan.Credit...Sara Krulwich/The New York Time

By Jesse Green April 21, 2024

Just east of its marquee, the August Wilson Theater abuts an alley you probably didn’t notice when last you were there, perhaps to see “Funny Girl,” its previous tenant. Why would you? Where the trash goes is not usually part of the Broadway experience.

But it is for the latest revival of “Cabaret,” which opened at the Wilson on Sunday. Audience members are herded into that alley, past the garbage, down some halls, up some stairs and through a fringed curtain to a dimly lit lounge. (There’s a separate entrance for those with mobility issues.) Along the way, greeters offer free shots of cherry schnapps that taste, I’m reliably told, like cough syrup cut with paint thinner.

Too often I thought the same of the show itself.

But the show comes later. First, starting 75 minutes beforehand, you can experience the ambience of the various bars that constitute the so-called Kit Kat Club, branded in honor of the fictional Berlin cabaret where much of the musical takes place. Also meant to get you in the mood for a story set mostly in 1930, on the edge of economic and spiritual disaster, are some moody George Grosz-like paintings commissioned from Jonathan Lyndon Chase. (One is called “Dancing, Holiday Before Doom.”) The $9 thimbleful of potato chips is presumably a nod to the period’s hyperinflation.

This all seemed like throat clearing to me, as did the complete reconfiguration of the auditorium itself, which is now arranged like a large supper club or a small stadium. (The scenic, costume and theater design are the jaw-dropping work of Tom Scutt.) The only relevant purpose I can see for this conceptual doodling, however well carried out, is to give the fifth Broadway incarnation of the 1966 show a distinctive profile. It certainly does that.

The problem for me is that “Cabaret” has a distinctive profile already. The extreme one offered here frequently defaces it.

Let me quickly add that Rebecca Frecknall’s production, first seen in London, has many fine and entertaining moments. Some feature its West End star Eddie Redmayne, as the macabre emcee of the Kit Kat Club (and quite likely your nightmares). Some come from its new New York cast, including Gayle Rankin (as the decadent would-be chanteuse Sally Bowles) and Bebe Neuwirth and Steven Skybell (dignified and wrenching as an older couple). Others arise from Frecknall’s staging itself, which is spectacular when in additive mode, illuminating the classic score by John Kander and Fred Ebb, and the amazingly sturdy book by Joe Masteroff.

In this production, Gayle Rankin’s Sally Bowles is meant to be taken medicinally and poisonously, projecting instead of concealing her character’s turmoil, our critic writes.Credit...Sara Krulwich/The New York Times

But too often a misguided attempt to resuscitate the show breaks its ribs.

The conception of Sally is especially alarming. As written — and as introduced in the play and stories the musical is based on — she is a creature of blithe insouciance if not talent, an English good-time gal flitting from brute to brute in Berlin while hoping to become a star. Her first number, “Don’t Tell Mama,” is a lively Charleston with winking lyrics (“You can tell my brother, that ain’t grim/Cause if he squeals on me I’ll squeal on him”) that make the Kit Kat Club audience, and the Broadway one too, complicit in her naughtiness.

Instead, Frecknall gives us a Sally made up to look like she’s recently been assaulted or released from an asylum, who dances like a wounded bird, stretches each syllable to the breaking point and shrieks the song instead of singing it. (Goodbye, Charleston; hello, dirge.) If Rankin doesn’t sound good in the number, nor later in “Mein Herr,” interpolated from the 1972 film, she’s not trying to. Like the cough syrup-paint thinner concoction, she’s meant to be taken medicinally and poisonously in this production, projecting instead of concealing Sally’s turmoil.

That’s inside-out. The point of Sally, and of “Cabaret” more generally, is to dramatize the danger of disengagement from reality, not to fetishize it.

The guts-first problem also distorts Redmayne’s Emcee, but at least that character was always intended as allegorical. He is the host to anything, the amoral shape-shifter, becoming whatever he must to get by. Here, he begins as a kind of marionette in a leather skirt and tiny party hat, hiccupping his way through “Willkommen.” Later he effectively incarnates himself as a creepy clown, an undead skeleton, Sally’s twin and a glossy Nazi.

Having seen Frecknall’s riveting production of “Sanctuary City,” a play about undocumented immigrants by Martyna Majok, I’m not surprised that her “Cabaret” finds a surer footing in the “book” scenes. These are the ones that take place in the real Berlin, not the metaphorical one of the Kit Kat Club. She is extraordinarily good when she starts with the naturalistic surface of behavior, letting the mise en scène and the lighting (excellent, by Isabella Byrd) suggest the rest.

And naturalism is what you find at the boardinghouse run by Fräulein Schneider (Neuwirth), a woman who has learned to keep her nose down to keep safe. Her tenants include a Jewish fruiterer, Herr Schultz (Skybell); a prostitute, Fräulein Kost (Natascia Diaz); and Clifford Bradshaw (Ato Blankson-Wood), an American writer come to Berlin in search of inspiration. Soon Sally shows up to provide it, having talked her way into Cliff’s life and bed despite being little more than a stranger. Also, despite Cliff’s romantic ambivalence; over the years, the character has had his sexuality revamped more times than a clownfish.

The Schneider-Shultz romance is sweet and sad; neither character is called upon to shriek. And Rankin excels in Sally’s scenes with Cliff, her wry, frank and hopeful personality back in place. The songs that emerge from the boardinghouse dramas are not ransacked as psychiatric case studies but are rather given room to let comment proceed naturally from real entertainment. Rankin’s “Maybe This Time,” with no slathered-on histrionics, is riveting. It turns out she can properly sing.

The interface between the naturalism and the expressionism does make for some weird moments: Herr Schultz, courtly in a topcoat, must hug Sally goodbye in her bra. But letting the styles mix also brings out the production’s most haunting imagery. The intrusion of the Nazi threat into the story is especially well handled: first a gorgeously sung and thus chilling version of “Tomorrow Belongs to Me,” then the swastika and then — well, I don’t want to give away how Frecknall stages the scene in which Schultz’s fruit shop is vandalized.

That so many of these moments arise from faithful attention to the original material should be no surprise. “Cabaret” hasn’t lasted this long for nothing. Created at the tail end of Broadway’s Golden Age, it benefited from the tradition of meticulous craftsmanship that preceded it while anticipating the era of conceptual stagings that followed.

All this is baked into the book, and especially the score, which I trust I admire not merely because I worked on a Kander and Ebb show 40 years ago. That the lyrics rhyme perfectly is a given with Ebb; more important, they are always the right words to rhyme. (Listen, in the title song, for the widely spaced triplet of “room,” “broom” and, uh-oh, “tomb.”) And Kander’s music, remixing period jazz, Kurt Weill and Broadway exuberance, never oversteps the milieu or outpaces the characters even as it pushes them toward their full and sometimes manic expression.

When this new “Cabaret” follows that template, it achieves more than the buzz of chic architecture and louche dancing. (The choreography is by Julia Cheng.) Seducing us and then repelling us — in that order — it dramatizes why we flock to such things in the first place, whether at the Kit Kat Club or the August Wilson Theater. We hope, at our risk, to forget that, outside, “life is disappointing,” as the Emcee tells us. We want to unsee the trash.

Cabaret At the August Wilson Theater, Manhattan; kitkat.club. Running time: 2 hours 45 minutes, with an optional preshow.

Jesse Green is the chief theater critic for The Times. He writes reviews of Broadway, Off Broadway, Off Off Broadway, regional and sometimes international productions. More about Jesse Green

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/21/theater/cabaret-review-eddie-redmayne.html

#eddie redmayne #cabaret #cabaret nyc #review new york times #broadway #eddie redmayne cabaret #cabaret nwe production #august wilson #theatre #cabaret 2024 #musical #cabaret musical

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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 months

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from an interview with joe iconis about the christmas extravaganza 🎄🎄🎄

"…So for those of us who haven't seen it, or have only seen, like, the videos and clips and stuff, can you explain what exactly the Joe Iconis Christmas Extravaganza is?"

"I can, yeah. So, it is a, um—it is basically a full-blown Christmas musical that is pretending to be a Christmas concert. It is an extravaganza that is inspired by things like, uh, the Pee-wee's Playhouse Christmas special, things like the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular, things like Charles Busch's Times Square Angel—y'know, I grew up really loving Christmas and I love the, um—I—I've always loved the—the conceit of the Christmas special. Y'know, this thing like, where, um, y'know, characters you perhaps know, characters you don't, get to mingle and, uh, exist in this kind of, like, capsule that's solely about the, uh, trappings of the holiday. And so, this is a show that is really irreverent, it's, yknow, very wild, uh, and it's, like, slightly profane, but: it has a real, uh, a real heart to it, y'know. It's made by people who have a love of, uh, not just the holidays, but of, y'know, theatre and family and, um, yeah. So it just kind of feels like a really, y'know, insane, uh, Christmas party, um, that's, uh, y'know, that's just filled with, uh, seventy of your—your closest friends and enemies." 🌰🌰🌰

"How do you do this, do you just do, like, an open invitation to everybody in your contacts, or is it, like, everybody in your close friend circle, do you just say, like, 'Come one, come all, we'll figure out something for you to do'?"

"There's, um, it is—it is the most specific casting experience there could ever possibly be. It's actually—the only way that this show works is if it is cast, uh, within an inch of its life. There's nothing left to chance, there's nothing casual about it. It, um, and the casting—the casting, uh, organization that we use for the Christmas Extravaganza is the, uh, the Joe Iconis Casting Services? Um, just me, uh, y'know, asking specific people, um, because everyone has a different part, the size of everyone's parts are really different, and so it's the kind of thing where I'm, like, 'Okay. I know that AJ can do the show this year, but he's not really available for our five rehearsals, and so I'm gonna write something for AJ that, if he can't make any rehearsal, he can just read it from a card. Like, that character will have to be some kind of announcer.' It's, like, that kind of thing, y'know, it's, like, 'Oh, um, y'know, this person has a ton of availability to rehearse this year, so they're gonna get a huge part,' uh, and everyone who's in the show is someone who is, like, they all have to be great actors, they all have to be, um, uh, good to great singers, they all have to be willing to dance, […] and then we need, like, four people who are really good at dancing, y'know, um, a few people who are willing to, like, wear something skimpy, y'know, a few people who are willing to wear, like, full-body costumes where you can't even see their face—it's a very strange, specific thing, um, but it's just what makes the show the show, and so our—we have a cast of fifty at each—at each performance. Uh, and it's not the same cast at each show: there are some people who do all six, some people do five, some people do one, y'know—and so it's this really mind-exploding, uh, carousel of actors—to rehearse it is a, uh, it is a feat which, uh, I've never—never experienced. And, y'know, I've worked at all, um, at all levels of the theatre, I'm really used to, like, makin', y'know, ragtag theatre in basements, and do-it-yourself stuff, and obviously I've done shows on Broadway and the West End and I've had shows in Tokyo, and, uh, there's just nothing that compares to the level of—of, uh, stress, uh, and, uh, and talent, and just, like, y'know, the diggin' in your—your heels kinda work, uh, that is required to make this Christmas Extravaganza as extravagant as it is." 🎭🎭🎭

"…Over the years, we've had a few—y'know, a few rowdy audience members. When we did it in 2019, there were these two guys, who—it was so weird, they, um, they were very—they were very conservative Republicans, uh, who came to the show, and, uh, they were really drunk, I don't know why they came." ["On accident? Did they—did they stumble in the—?"] "No! They—it was actu—I mean, the honest reason was that one of them really liked the song 'The Goodbye Song,' which is a song that I wrote, and so they came to the show, um, uh, because they liked this one song, which is performed in the show, and, uh, but they also—they were like, young, it was very strange, and they were, um, and they were—they were so drunk, and they were just the world's worst audience members, and, um, and I—I had them thrown out, right, and so I—which is really hard, 'cause I'm onstage the whole two hours, and I was like, 'These guys—they're outta here,' and so, y'know, I—I passed on a—a, y'know, a whis—it was like a whisper campaign through the theater, one of the—y'know, the people told the stage manager, and like, they had to get 54 and eject these guys. And so they went to throw 'em out, and one of them ran into the bathroom. To like, hide. And he was like, 'You're not gettin' me!' Like, all during the show, right, so that like—this like, young, drunk, conservative Republican runs into the bathroom to hide, like, barricades himself in there, and so then 54 Below is like, 'Um, I guess we have to like, call the cops or something? 'Cause this guy won't leave the bathroom.' And so eventually people went in and like dragged this guy outta the bathroom, and my favorite thing is that as he was—as he was being dragged out of 54 Below, and like, up the stairs? Um, the stairs, and, like, all the nooks and crannies of the space is where, like, everyone who is in the Christmas Extravaganza, um, y'know, waits. And so he had to go through, like, the sexy Virgin Mary! And literal Santa Claus. And, y'know, reindeers as he's being dragged out. And then all of them just, like, barricaded the door so he wouldn't come back in, and it's like, this is, like, this is what Christmas means to me. Y'know? Having—having some rowdy audience member get thrown out of a—of a nightclub on 54th Street by the—the icons of Christmas, y'know?" 🎅🎅🎅

"…Do you have a favorite Christmas special, or anything like that, whether it's something that influenced this or not, just something that you hold dear to yourself?"

"Well, I love, um, I—I already mentioned it, but I love the Pee-wee Playhouse Christmas special, I—I think it's really the top of the tops. Uh, I love Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas, uh, which also really heavily influenced this, and as far as Christmas episodes of shows, I really think the '80s were the, um, that was kind of like the peak of the Christmas episode to me, and so, uh, the—for people who love—who love Christmas episodes, the ALF Christmas episode is a really, uh, famed one, um, because it is so unspeakably depressing? Um, so I—I like the—I like the tension of a—of a show that's basically for kids with a Christmas episode that's just about children dying. Uh, in a very horrible way. Um, so yeah, I love—those are all—those are all good one—y'know, just could keep going. But also Christmas movies, too! Y'know, I'm just such a sucker for a Christmas movie, I love the great ones, I love the bad ones, um, y'know, the Hallmark Christmas movies, they're fun, they're a little bit, like, samey for me? But like, I love a Christmas with the Kranks, I love The Family Stone, I love anything that's, like, taking groups of people and putting them in a house together, and—and, uh, y'know, adding like, fuel to the fire, and so there—there's elements of all of these things in the—in the Christmas Extravaganza." ❄️❄️❄️

#joe iconis christmas extravaganza #11pm show going on Now!!!#tried to circumvent the emoticons being displayed in 500pt font here....#joe iconis #one segment/question about tuuhstm in there as well for interest

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killa-trav · 2 years

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George Russell: Safe? This track is the opposite. Clip a kerb and you’re into a wall

On a bike ride around the Zandvoort circuit, George Russell highlights the twists, turns - and dangers - of one of the tightest tracks on the F1 calendar (link to the video)

It is, undoubtedly, the slowest lap George Russell has ever performed on a Formula One circuit. But then he is on an Amsterdam commuter bike and, as the sun casts long shadows over the Zandvoort circuit, he has an ageing reporter from The Times for company rather than Max Verstappen wheel to wheel.

“Do these go fast?” Russell asks, as he climbs onto his rickety bicycle. Hopefully not. And so, without a roar of engines, the Mercedes driver pedals off the grid to lead us around the 14 corners of a strikingly tight 4.259km circuit that seems to twist on itself like a Scalextric track.

“It’s a very spectacular circuit, one of my favourites, but you have to keep your wits about you,” Russell says as we head off down the first straight approximately 175mph slower than he will during the Dutch Grand Prix tomorrow.

The lap walk has long been a tradition for F1 drivers but Russell explains that using two wheels has become his preference. Cycling is his thing, partly for fitness — whether on holiday or around Richmond Park when he is in London — but also because it helps to clear his head.

“I try to finish with the engineers and then go out on my bike for a circuit,” he explains. “It’s good therapy after I’ve been staring at a screen. And obviously you are taking in any details, examining the track for any changes from last year, inspecting the surface. Walking a lap can take an hour. I can cycle two or three.”

When we pass Carlos Sainz, the Ferrari driver, who is jogging along with his engineers, in a low-speed overtaking manoeuvre it seems a very smart move.

TURN 1

As we head down the straight, Russell is already computing details. He glances up at the flags at the top of the main grandstand which show a stiff breeze coming straight off the North Sea. The Zandvoort circuit is yards from the coast.

“The wind is so important,” Russell says. He explains how the headwind will slow the car on the straight but, in applying more downforce, allow more speed heading into the first turn. “So if the wind is like this it will be exceptionally fast [into the bend]. It could be 10mph faster, probably going round this corner at 120, 130mph. It can be six tenths of a second quicker or slower depending on the wind, so it can change substantially. So we are looking at the wind strength — is it gusty? And obviously somewhere on the track will be a flipside.”

As we pause to chat, a few fans have made it onto the circuit and run over for a photo. Russell deals with the attention politely but there are only so many selfies that any star can pose for. He has been spotted a lot more since he joined Mercedes this season to become Lewis Hamilton’s team-mate. The phenomenal success of the documentary series Drive to Survive on Netflix has made them all more recognisable to a much wider public. “And there are only 20 or so of us,” he says.

Russell has been living in London with his girlfriend, Carmen, who works in finance, but plans to join the large cohort of drivers in Monaco by the end of this year. Most of his friends are on the F1 circuit and he estimates that he could spend as few as 70 days at home in 2022.

Russell will move this year for all the benefits of the Monegasque life. And it offers better cycling than Richmond Park too.

TURN 3

Television flattens contours. It never captures the rolling hills of a golf course such as Augusta National and certainly does not do justice to the thrillingly steep banking on Zandvoort’s turn three, Hugenholtz, which was built up to add character and, potentially, drama given the possibility of cars side by side around this bowl of a corner.

“The exciting corner,” Russell says with relish. Like a velodrome, I suggest. “It really is,” he agrees. “It’s pretty impressive isn’t it. You have one corner like this in the calendar.”

The slope builds from an angle of less than five degrees at the bottom up to 19 degrees at its peak, which gives a fascinating dilemma to the drivers. “It’s about using the bank to your advantage,” Russell says. “You can take the tight line by sticking to the left. But if you go in too early here, your front left wheel will be popping off the ground and you are losing downforce, so you want to bring it out wide and fire that speed.”

I wonder how it feels physically to be hammering around this bend, high at the top of the banking.

“It’s quite strange, because it doesn’t feel as much lateral-G [side-to-side G force], but there is quite a lot of vertical-G, because the car is compressing into the circuit when you go round here and you are often almost bottoming the car out,” he says, describing the sensation of feeling pushed down hard into the tarmac.

Russell describes Zandvoort, built into dunes on the coast soon after the Second World War, as one of the most arduous circuits. Singapore is the most gruelling, with the heat and humidity and lack of airflow, but Zandvoort’s tightness acts like a punishing rollercoaster. “It’s relentless,” he says. “It doesn’t give you a second to breathe.”

TURN 6

As we cycle past a new hospitality tent with pounding music and whooping fans — “the Dutch can get quite rowdy,” Russell says, smiling, especially with Verstappen leading the championship for Red Bull — we come over a rise and then drop down towards a right-hand bend.

“This is a great corner here,” Russell says of coming over the crest and very quickly down into a big turn. “That’s almost flat out in seventh gear, 165 or 170mph, really fast.” And with a high degree of jeopardy.

He talks of ensuring that the speed is right to ensure maximum grip as the car goes down then up in the turn. “If you are a little bit slower on the entry and wait for the car to compress you can really power through the corner,” he explains. “If you carry too much speed in then you understeer off in that direction.”

Russell points to a wall of tyres up on the left which do not seem very far away at all. “You will definitely know about it if you get it wrong,” he says, with a smile of understatement. It is a reminder, if any were needed after watching Zhou Guanyu rolling so terrifyingly at Silverstone, of the dangers. Does this circuit feel safe? “Probably the opposite,” Russell replies, matter-of-factly. “So tight, so quick. No margin for error. If you clip a kerb, drop a wheel and it pushes you wide you are straight into the wall. A lot of these circuits have tarmac run-offs, but none of that here.”

We chat a little more about risk. Russell sits on the Grand Prix Drivers’ Association as one of only two directors, with Sebastian Vettel, under the former driver and chairman Alex Wurz. He is only 24, but already has the air of a confident spokesman with the respect of his fellow racers.

“I have always wanted to get involved and have my say if there are issues when I feel strongly,” he says. “It might be safety or how a track is set up. I am hoping to be in this sport a long time, ten or 15 years, so I would like to help make it more safe and more exciting, if there are any ways to do that.”

Exciting how? Russell reflects on the e-sports racing that filled the gap during lockdown. Seeing himself on camera, with all the concentration and focus, made him think about the human tension and emotion that is lost as drivers pull on their balaclavas and helmets.

“I don’t know if in ten years’ time there could be a transparent helmet, or a canopy like on a fighter jet,” he says. “I think that would be pretty incredible if you had that enclosed cockpit and the camera on our faces and you could see the physicality.”

TURN 12

We come to a new feature at the second part of the Hans Ernst chicane. Cars spilling over the kerb on the left-hander have previously dragged gravel on to the track, so Zandvoort is experimenting with a one-metre strip of gravel that is effectively glued down. “It’s the first time I have seen it, so I’m intrigued,” Russell says as he approaches the new surface. “Oh wow. Unique.”

Sainz is here too, and the two drivers chat through possibilities. “I thought we could run [on] it but not any more,” the Ferrari driver says.

The two men take a few minutes to bemoan the domination of Red Bull at the previous race in Spa. They chat about frustrations with vibrations and grip and straight-line speed as they try to close the gap.

For Russell, after three years outperforming a poor Williams car to earn his move to Mercedes, it has not been the season that he would have imagined in a team who had been constructors’ champions for the previous eight years.

Individual consistency has brought third to fifth placings in 13 of 14 races, and Russell does sit just ahead of Hamilton in the standings, but securing his maiden F1 victory has been frustratingly out of reach.

“I am here to win championships, win races,” he says. “I will take position three, four, five and it’s a big improvement on last year but it is not where I want to be, or the team. Their aspirations are greater than that.”

He talks of working hard with the engineers to make improvements and the rapid learning that has come from a season of challenges. “I recognise that you need to have a bit of engineering knowledge and background to get the most out of your team and the car. How to utilise everything in your power — and that comes with experience as well,” he says.

With that in mind, he explains how the engineers go round the circuit with a device that can calibrate the degree of roughness of each part of the track. “They can compare year after year and the corners that are worse for [tyre degradation]. It gives you a really good indication of how to set the car up, the corners most damaging for the tyres.”

As we go round, the racing line on sector two is notably rougher. “Imagine your tyres digging into those rocks,” he says. Russell talks of avoiding “leaning into” the tyres here compared to, say, the right-hander of turn one.

“You probably have a thought in your head that if you slide the tyre at this point you are going to damage it,” he says. “So we start to build that picture of what it will be like on Sunday. Is it high or low degradation? Is it the front or rear that is going to be the limitation?”

The more he talks, discussing how the weather changes and the different track temperatures will affect performance over the weekend, the more it is clear how many different aspects there are to the job.

But one matters most. “I love driving, I love getting the most out of the car and racing. But I love winning more than I love driving.”

FINAL BEND

We eventually come round to another dramatic sweeping banked bend; the final one with a banking between 15 and 18 degrees. Russell will plan to take a high line to be able to turn into the final straight aggressively. “So you can get the downhill swoop,” he says.

There are more changes to take in, with a move in the drag reduction system (DRS) line back down the track. “Because it’s a tight and twisty circuit, there is only one overtaking opportunity. That’s the first corner.” Moving the DRS line should, he thinks, give “an extra 15 metres, so about four car lengths into turn one, to overtake. Certainly not insignificant, especially on a circuit like this.”

As he chats, safety marshals come over and hand Russell a pack of Dutch waffles. He politely accepts, though he does not look like a man likely to eat them.

He has the focus of a man who decided as a teenager that, while his mates could go out and drink cider, he was going to devote himself to his career. As we finish the lap and head back to the Mercedes motorhome, Russell reflects on the journey he made since leaving Wisbech Grammar School at 14 to become a driver earning £5 million a year.

“I did home-schooling,” he says. “We made a choice so that I could continue in karting and travel around Europe.”

We talk a bit more about the life of an F1 driver, time for hobbies (the lack of it) and chasing his ambition. “Sitting here now it feels like the right choice,” he says, before heading off on a faster, more expensive bike more appropriate for a man of his speed.

INTERVIEW BY MATT DICKINSON

#george russell #very long post #but it’s all behind a pay wall #n bc i have access why not post it all for youse #there are pics too!#i’ll get those up soon #dutch gp 2022

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i-am-literally-deranged · 2 years

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I have long said that Hitori is the most well written character in Hatoful, and I'm right. But most well written ARC goes squarely to Sakuya. Sakuya is possibly the most dynamic character in the game. Sakuya on day one of the game, and Sakuya in the epilogue of BBL are entirely different people.

That's actually part of why I don't usually talk about him all that much. Sakuya has a complete character arc. That's not something that you can really say about the rest of the cast. They all definitely HAVE arcs, but one of the things that keeps me constantly coming back to the series is how none of them feel quite complete. Like they're all still hanging open, their arcs stopped just short of coming around to their proper conclusion. Characters in Hatoful Boyfriend are often just left bleeding. You watch them grow and get torn down by the world around them, and then they come to stop, still hanging and bleeding, neither patched up nor bled out. And it's this incompleteness that makes it stick in my brain. I keep searching for that last note needed to close out the movement, and it's just not there.

Hitori's story is a revenge tragedy, but we never reach the revenge, or the natural conclusion of the tragedy. Both he and Shuu are alive at the end of the story, with nowhere to go. They've backed themselves into a bloody corner, and the story has just left them there. There isn't a resolution. Their narratives can really only end in death, and they don't die at the end, so instead it's left open and incomplete.

Ryouta just gets slowly torn down throughout the narrative. Misfortune after misfortune pile onto him, and he slowly runs ragged. Hatoful Boyfriend is chronicling his descent. From the most normal, cheery member of the cast, to the most broken and miserable. But at the end of BBL, he's just left waiting. Waiting to die or for someone to come back with a cure. Left in a sort of eternal stasis. He's left open and bleeding, without a proper conclusion either way, hopeful or tragic. In Holiday Star he keeps being pushed to confront his abandonment issues, and he just keeps refusing to do so. He never really confronts them despite how many times he's faced with these issues, and again, we're left without a real satisfying resolution to his character arc. He goes most of the way through an arc, and then stops just short of completing it.

Shuu's story is this grand tale of hubris. He so clearly lines up his own downfall with every decision he makes. From how many enemies he makes, to how much he underestimates those enemies. Following Shuu is like slowly going up a rollercoaster headed towards the big drop. It's all build up for either his grand plan going off in this spectacular act of genius, or else his great failure, going out in a big blaze of glory, falling into all of the holes he left for himself, that he thought were too small and unimportant to worry about. And the way he ends is... Neither of those things. His terrible decisions do come back to haunt him, but the price he pays for it is ultimately so small compared to all that he's done. It's underwhelming, and leaves me feeling like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, and for him to finally get his dues, and it just never comes. It's all build up, and then a sudden jarring stop just short of the grand crescendo promised.

Yuuya's arc is a lot like Ryouta's. It's a descent. It's his unraveling. Unlike Ryouta's thought, we do see him putting some of these pieces back together, or at least trying to. The game explores a lot of the consequences of his hero complex, and he fully faces the consequences of his act of revenge, and spends the rest of his arc looking for redemption from this guilt he carries. It's hard to call Yuuya's story a redemption arc. Redemption is the thing he's seeking, but I don't think he's ever really condemned by the narrative even before seeking this redemption. It's more like what Yuuya's arc is about is seeking forgiveness from himself, and seeking to repair his relationship with Sakuya, which is what complicates his arc for me. If it was a straightforward quest for redemption "I took vengeance once, and I am paying for my sins. I seek to redeem my soul" then you could see him taking that scalpel for Sakuya as a conclusion. But the fact that it's never really treated by the narrative as though Yuuya's act of vengeance was actually wrong instead makes it feel less like Yuuya is seeking forgiveness from the universe, but instead like he is seeking forgiveness from himself. In which case, his self sacrifice is a step backwards. It's more of Yuuya devaluing himself, more of him prioritizing others to an extreme. If we take the egg incident to be Yuuya's biggest sin, then BBL is just him repeating those same mistakes again and again. It's him choosing Sakuya over everything to a destructive degree. He chops up Hiyoko's body and covers up her death, to protect Sakuya. He throws away his own life, to protect Sakuya. It's just a loop of Yuuya doing something terrible in Sakuya's name. There's no redemption found in there, only a further spiral. And further reinforcing Yuuya's guilt, and self hatred, and this steady creeping towards the place Hitori is in. And he doesn't really deviate from this path. He continues onward, repeating his mistakes, and slipping towards the same cliff that Hitori plunged off of. Again, it's left unresolved. He keeps starting to learn, starting to heal, starting to confront his flaws, and then not quite overcoming them.

I'm.... Honestly not sure what Anghel's arc is? I know it's about coming to terms with his complicated identity, and being understood by the people around him, but it's hard to say how much progress he really makes on those fronts? Anghel is sort of just... Perfect as he is? He serves very effectively as a plot device, and he's loveable and compelling without having an especially dynamic arc. Anghel is somewhat static, but I don't think that's really a bad thing on him. I'm not sure if he just doesn't have a whole lot going on arc wise, or if I'm just not seeing it right now, but oh well. I'd love to hear someone else give their takes on him, see if I can't find a new perspective to come at him from. But as it is he's just my funky little guy that I love so so much, but in a sort of no thoughts head empty kind of way.

Nageki is the hardest to talk about for me, which is why I saved him for last. He has so much going on. Nageki's route is famously emotionally moving. I cried for it, I think most people did. And I'm not sure exactly how to approach it from a meta perspective. Nageki is almost a sort of... Messianic figure. Nageki died to save humanity, despite all the ways that it had wronged him. You could say Nageki's arc is one of taking back power for himself. He was weak, and unable to do anything for himself or for anyone else either. He felt like a burden, and so when he found an opportunity to do something for someone, to protect people, he threw himself into it regardless of the cost. Even though it cost him his life. He made this selfless sacrifice. But while that was something of an arc of him finding power for himself, I hesitate to call it a full arc. Nageki had always been that selfless. Nageki pre-Hatoful House massacre would likely have been just as ready and willing to give his life for others as he was in the end.

Was it him losing hope then? Nageki being beaten down by the treatment he recieved at the St Pigeonations clinic? In the end succumbing to the misfortune that had haunted him all his life and killing himself? That doesn't feel right either. Nageki dying is, strangely enough, never actually a change for him. Nageki was dead from the beginning of the game. But more than that, Nageki was always going to die. From even long before the game began, Nageki had this clear path to an early death laid out before him. Nageki was ALWAYS going to die. There is no other way for him to go, this was always how it was going to be. And it's how it went. He accepted his fate, embraced it, and leaned into it. He took ahold of his incoming death for himself. It's very difficult for me to identify what exactly is going on with Nageki because it feels like he has SO MUCH going on. Nageki sits nestled at the heart of all of it. Both games orbit around him. I know that Ryouta is the unofficial main character. And I know that you can trace everything that happened in the series directly back to Ryuuji. I know that Shuu is the driving force behind the plot and that he laid out all of the pieces and players for this whole game, that it was all his doing. But Nageki feels, to me at least, like the true heart of the issue. He's your first introduction to the fact that something is truly genuinely Not Right in this world. So much of the plot is all of the living characters chasing after Nageki. Trying to unravel his secrets. Following his trail. Trying to find him. Nageki stands ahead of the crowd, several paces up, and every other character is tripping over themselves running after him.

Nageki is the axis upon which the story rotates. Hitori's entire character revolves around him. Orbits him. Ryouta's downfall is so tightly intertwined with Nageki. At the end of the day, one of Ryouta's most important roles in the plot is simply as a vessel for Nageki. It's carrying a piece if him inside of him. Ryouta's place in the narrative is sometimes as a sort of second coming if Nageki in a way. Shuu's fate was sealed the moment he chose Nageki as his victim, and he has been paying the price for that decision ever since, in little increments. Almost every character has their moment where they serve as a parallel to Nageki. The King's entire thing is RIDDLED with parallels, they are established as sort of foils to eachother. Two ghosts, two sad little birds who died unfortunate early deaths, two people that Hitori feels so responsible for, the two shadows that haunt him. And so much of Holiday Star is about how they handled this differently. How The King used his fire to draw others in and trap them, to make himself feel better and to have company in his misery. And how Nageki, the scorpion, burned himself to ash to free them. It's the scene in the lighthouse, how he was prepared to burn to death all over again. Sakuya is also often cast in parallel to Nageki as part of Yuuya and Hitori's parallels. With these two sets of brothers you have two stories of selflessness and giving as a bad thing. They're about self destruction, and living your life exclusively in service if someone else, and how unfair that can be to the person you are trying to help. How in the end, for all of Hitori's selfless sacrifice none of Nageki's wishes came true, and how for all of Yuuya's selfless sacrifice he wound up hurting Sakuya more than anyone else. And both of them, in this single minded quest, choosing one person above the entire world, leave this trail of bloody mistakes behind them. This parallel casts Nageki as Sakuya's mirror.

In a way, that's really Nageki's role. He's a mirror held up to each member of the cast. And in that reflection you see the worst of each of them. Nageki is sort of perfect, and the narrative stands each other character next to him to show you their flaws. What does Nageki do wrong, ever??? I can't think of a single thing. He doesn't make any real mistakes, so I don't know where to find an arc in that. There's nowhere to go, there's no change. Nageki really does thrive in his role as a ghost. He's sort of intangible, impossible to catch, impossible to hold on to. He's an impossible goal to be chased after, and ultimately, be left unreached. So much of the plot is just looking for Nageki. Looking for his secrets. Looking for his remains. Looking for anything he left behind. Looking for him. Looking for Nageki, and instead only finding your own reflection. I don't know how to discuss that, really. Which is why I usually don't. The story of Hatoful Boyfriend is this massive downward spiral, pulling everyone in, and down to their lowest point, and curled up right in the center of it all is Nageki, with every other story element orbiting around him, but never actually managing to reach him.

But after all that, looping all the way back around to my actual point. Sakuya.

Sakuya's arc actually finishes, and it finishes beautifully. In a story full of people getting worse, chasing unachievable ends, and being left eternally swirling around and around never quite reaching a proper conclusion just getting more and more damaged with each go around, Sakuya actually improves. He has this perfect, solid character arc.

Sakuya starts out as an egotistical bigot, living under false pretenses, with high ambitions of becoming a great leader. Through the story he faces every single flaw he has, confronts it, changes for the better, and grows as a person. And with each one he approaches his goal of being a great leader. Sakuya begins as a good leader, and ends as a fantastic one. He confronts his biases. He confronts his fears. He confronts his beliefs. He confronts himself, his identity. And he comes to terms with all of it, and rises from it stronger, and wiser, and more worldly. Sakuya walks out of the BBL epilogue a hero, and an incredible leader, having made good on all of his promises, and made significant good in the world. He's also quite possibly the least self destructive character we have, save for maybe Okosan, but I'm not going to even touch Okosan here. Sakuya learns from his mistakes and doesn't repeat them. And he achieves all of his goals. Sakuya is the only character not stuck in this downward spiral. And his character arc is just so perfect. It's such a nice clean arc. Sakuya starts out the first game as a genuinely kind of shitty guy. Every time I've introduced someone to the game I've said "It's totally okay not to like Sakuya. I like Sakuya, but when you first meet him it's hard to do, I get it. But just hold on, he gets better, I promise."

Sakuya has a Zuko tier redemption arc. The way that he learns to respect Ryouta more and more throughout BBL, the way that he starts to really think for himself and escape out from under his father's expectations in his route, the way that he was completely untouchable by The King's attempts at manipulation. Sakuya just fuckin THRIVES.

And this is sort of why I haven't really talked about him before today. That unfinished feeling to everyone else's story arcs eats at me. It sticks in my head. I can't stop talking about them because they're COMPELLING and they feel UNFINISHED and now I'm sort of obsessed with it. I'm caught in the loop with them, hunting for an ending that isn't there. The imperfections in these arcs are what keeps me speculating about still, 8 years down the line. I'm still trying to find that ending. But for Sakuya, and Nageki too actually, the only thing there is for me to talk about is why they work so well. And in Nageki's case, I'm not especially sure why, and so I don't have a lot to say on him. He's sort of a mystery to me. But for Sakuya, it is just so apparent to me why he's such an incredibly well written character. It feels sort of redundant to go through it. His arc is clean, and perfect. Just look at it! There's no holes for me to obsess over and write endless essays on. And there's no mystery to how effective it is. It's clean, and simple, and utterly perfect. I don't need to puzzle over how it works so well, because you can just take one look at it and it's all laid bare. He has the ideal redemption arc. The platonic ideal of exactly what his type of character should be. It's perfect. I don't feel like I can contribute much of anything to it by discussing it, further than just shining a light at what about it works so incredibly well.

So I don't.

Simply put, Sakuya has the most well written arc in Hatoful Boyfriend, and I would consider him the second most well written character in all.

#I'm sorry for any issues here #I know that Tumblr would eat this essay if I just posted it raw #so I screenshotted the whole thing beforehand so it wouldn't be destroyed in the inevitable crash #Then I fed those through an OCR #and copy pasted it back into the post editor to try again #So if the OCR misread anything and made errors I'm sorry #I'm also sorry for how huge this is #I would have put it under a read more #but I've learned that when I put my bigass essays under a readmore they wind up flying under the radar and never getting read #like the almost 5k long analysis of why Yuuya and Hitori are my favourite characters which was read by absolutely no one #and I kinda worked somewhat hard on this and want someone to actually read it #So I'm sorry for dominating your dash like this but it had to be done #hatoful boyfriend #hbf #Hatoful #damn I do be writing meta on this bird game #Sakuya Renaissance

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