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yowyowyaoi · 7 months

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*Itachi and Obito walk into the house; Itachi is holding Hidan’s hand and Obito is carrying Deidara*

Kakuzu: Oh god … what happened now?

Itachi: We all thought it would be fun to stop at a carnival on our way back from the mission.

Obito: They had a really big haunted house there.

Itachi: We think it may have been a bit too much for these guys … Deidara hasn’t spoken a word all the way back and Hidan’s holding my hand so hard it’s turning purple.

Kakuzu: *goes and pries Hidan’s hand loose from Itachi’s, then throws Hidan over his shoulder* Well we could certainly use the peace and quiet. I’m going to put him in the bath and then lay him down to sleep. *walks out with him*

Obito, tiredly: Deidara please, I’ve lost most of the feeling in my arms …

Kisame: *pries Deidara’s arms from around Obito’s shoulders and sets him gently on the couch* Just what in the world was so scary in there that these two came away so traumatized?

Itachi: Well, the haunted house actors staged something where zombies and ghouls were chasing down people and eating them. But it was all make-believe, and the people who got “eaten” were also clearly actors, so I don’t know why this scared them so badly.

Obito: We did get separated for a time … from what we could see they had wandered into this tiny dark little room. Perhaps what they saw in there was —

Deidara, suddenly: SNAKE!!!!!!

Itachi: … what??

Konan: Did he just say —

Hidan, from the bathroom, screaming: Snake!! SNAKE!!

Obito: Is THAT what they saw? Did they get into a room full of snakes? I didn’t even notice that …

*meanwhile, back at the haunted house*

Kabuto: This place of yours was a great idea, Lord Orochimaru. We’re making a ton of money; we’ll be able to afford so much more lab equipment!

Orochimaru: One of my better ideas.

Kabuto: And that “secret room” of yours … I won’t ask what you’re doing to scare the people you get into there, but they all leave it looking as though their soul has been snatched out of their body.

Orochimaru: Mm. And I finally got back at some Akatsuki members.

Kabuto: I would have thought, if anything, you’d have gone after your former partner, or the Uchiha. Why those two brats?

Orochimaru: The blonde brat stole Sasori from me. And the Jashinist? He dares to strut about as if he invented the concept of immortality. But who’s got the last laugh now? They’ll have nightmares for weeks and disturb every single person in that pretentious group! *laughs manically*

Kabuto:

Kabuto: Remind me never to get on your bad side.

#halloween #halloween 2023 #haunted house #snakes #kabuoro #orokabu #orochimaru x kabuto #the akatsuki #deidara #hidan #kakuzu #itachi uchiha #obito uchiha #kisame hoshigaki #konan #nagato #orochimaru #kabuto yakushi #a hint of orosaso

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awintersrose · 3 years

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First Lines Meme

Tagged by @tropical-gothic and @justanotherblonde Thank you both <3

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!)

See if there are any patterns.

Choose your favorite opening lines.

Then tag 10 authors!

Tagging: @writhingbeneathyou @captain-wereduck @petriikore @ohayohimawari @shiranuigenma @dimigex @raendown @angededesespoir @silverutahraptor @nibbler747 (if you guys want, no pressure!)

1. Scorch the Ground (JiraOroTsu or Gen Sannin)

The rains in Amegakure are constant, that much they’ve known from the very moment their squad first crossed the borders of this godforsaken country.

2. Flickering Unseen (OroDan)

It’s peculiar, the atmosphere within a space when one considers themselves alone.

3. The Long Way Home (Orochimaru-centric, Gen)

The summer seems unending, with its hot days stretching on forever, ending in riotous sunsets that cast a golden haze over the wide valley that Team Hiruzen calls home.

4. Unrestrained (JiraDan)

Sitting warm by the fire at twilight, there would be little chance of company this night - were it not for a special hint from a little bird, and Dan certainly has no shortage of those.

5. When Comes the Dawn (Gen feat. Orochimau, Sasori, Tobi)

Orochimaru was not prepared for the shock of waking.

6. Decadence (Kinktober collection, various pairings)

“Just relax…” Tsunade giggles, running a hand down the tense muscles of her lover’s chest. “It’s not as if you’ve never done this before.” (Ch. 1, JiraTsu)

7. Undone (SasoRasaThird)

The tiles are warm beneath his hands, steam-heated from below, and it’s just as well, since none of them will be making it to the hot pool that was their original destination this night.

8. Like Tears in Rain (OroTsu)

As the heavy wooden door clatters shut to the banquet hall, the inauguration ceremony is complete.

9. A Stranger Moment (JiraOro)

There was no mistaking the line of his spine - graceful, lithe, as if every step he took scarcely touched the floor beneath his feet.

10. Morning Diversions (RasaThird)

As a general rule, Rasa has never been the type to lie in bed and laze the morning away upon waking.

11. The Home We’ve Made (JiraOroTsu)

This summer seems unending and nearing six months pregnant, the humidity and sweltering temperatures are the last things Tsunade wants to abide.

12. A Rush of Blood to the Head (OroTsu)

“What the hell were you thinking, Hime!?”

She can hear him before she can see him, though bright, ice-pick sharpness shears through her skull.

13. A Flower to Your Sword (Hualian, TGCF)

“See, gege, I told you it would be easy.”

14. Secret Ceremonials (JiraOroTsu)

The forest offered no refuge from the chill of winter, but Tsunade welcomed the cold, wishing the numbness that spread through her extremities would extend to the ragged edges of her heart.

15. Staring at the Sun (KakuDan)

He looks harmless enough at a glance. A disarming smile, glacier white hair and eyes the color of the most sacred cenote in Takigakure give him an appearance that is almost angelic, but the Kato are anything but that, and most of the shinobi world has forgotten this.

16. Gold Dust In His Eyes (RasaOro)

Perhaps it was his eyes that drew Rasa first. Intelligent, self-possessed, ambitious. Exotic. With a color so like the one he lost, though the men themselves couldn’t be more different; bright gold, like newly minted ingots glinting in the noontime desert sun.

17. Even Angels Fall (JiraDan, JiraDanOro)

He hasn’t moved for several hours, pinned in place by a hundred and forty-some-odd pounds of distressed lover finally given over to sleep, but Dan’s weight is nothing, and holding him close is a rare joy in times like these.

18. Some Intricate Purpose (OroSaso)

His partner is a curiosity more often than not, and never, ever, ever would Sasori be caught watching him, though watching him is often fascinating.

19. By Firelight (JiraOro)

The Nakano river is usually a lonely place, especially at night, but towards the top of the hill where the trees edge out into a rocky outcropping that overlooks the water - it’s theirs.

20. Deny, Deceive, Disarm (BingJiu, SVSSS)

The reflection he sees in his washing basin should be more haggard given the way he feels - but immortality has always looked exceptional on Shen Qingqiu, and though this has served him well for decades, of late he almost wishes it were not so.

#dash games #first lines meme #long but fun!

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