Bonus 9: So that's where the turtle came from!

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Miraculous Agatha AU news:

The more I think about characters from SDM with main Miraculous instead of the zodiac ones, the more I like it. At this point it genuinely feels like I'd prefer to write about this version.

Part of the reason is that I guess I'm getting kind of disappointed in the zodiac Miraculous the way they are portrayed in the ML canon, and the system of main ones is more well-balanced. But there are other reasons to it:

A team of Butterfly!Gerry, Cat!Ronny and Turtle!Bill would be great combination of offensive Cat, defensive Turtle and supportive Butterfly. Cat can have more nuanced and interesting usage than Tiger, and Butterfly the enhancer completes the group much better than Pig the distractor/restrainer.

Fox!Jimmy just sounds so much like him and has a lot of potential, and yes pulling the Wyvern Abbey trick would make quite much sense with Mirage.

And the Seven Dials can know/suspect they are fighting a Fox wielder since precanon if there were illusions involved in the previous thefts.

Gerry may start suspecting Jimmy after accidentally reading something in his emotions via the Butterfly's empathy.

Ronny easily starting to confide in Loraine can be seen as instinctive Cat-Ladybug attraction caused by their Miraculous being a pair.

If the Bee's concept is Action, it's absolutely made for Bundle. If it is Subjugation, the way this Miraculous works with its straightforwardness still fits her a lot.

Loraine getting exposed as a Ladybug wielder will look far less suspicious in a theft-related case than if it's the Dog. Also, putting focus on her quick thinking seems much better character-wise than on her adoration, her feelings aren't even that much "adoration", she certainly doesn't have any rose-tinted glasses for Jimmy and is even more pragmatic than him. If we need to find a villainous Dog holder material in Dame Agatha's works, it would be from Death on the Nile, not here.

Also, Gerry and Loraine are now insect-themed (supposed) half-siblings.

The only issue I have is that I wanted the kwamis of the villains to be deceived about their holders' intentions, and deceiving Trixx who IS trickery is far less possible than arrogant Orikko. Probably Trixx is okay about working with a merry thief, not bothering with human politics and for that reason not realizing possible dangers of Jimmy's actions for the country, and doesn't know about the murders because Jimmy took a lot of precautions and Trixx is kind of unwilling to assume bad things about him because he likes him as a trickster a lot? While what comes to Loraine and Tikki, Tikki would be easily impressed with Loraine's "sweetness" and "properness" and for that reason less likely to see her true side, especially considering Tikki doesn't seem a good judge of character/expert on human world in the ML canon either.

I'm currently designing their transformed looks for this new version. I want to incorporate the idea of Seven Dials hood masks somehow.

"so many people in the world don't know what they've missed, they'd never believe such joy could exist, and if they tell us it's a thing we'll outgrow, they're jealous as they can be, that with so many people in the world, you love me."

"the more I memorize your face, the more I never want to leave."

"just hold my hand whenever we arrive, take me to a world where I can be alive."

"somebody crowd me with love, somebody force me to care, somebody make me come through, I'll always be there, as frightened as you, to help us survive being alive."

"I dim the lights, and think about you. spend sleepless nights, and think about you. you said you loved me, or were you just being kind?"

"I was half-convinced I'd waken, satisfied enough to dream you."

"not a day goes by, not a single day, but you're somewhere a part of my life, and it looks like you'll stay."

"look at all the things you gave to me, let me give to you something in return, I would be so pleased."

"let the moment go, don't forget it for a moment, though. just remembering you've had an 'and' when you're back to 'or' makes the 'or' mean more than it did before."

"loving you is not a choice, it's who I am. loving you is not a choice and not much reason to rejoice, but it gives me purpose, gives me voice, to say to the world - this is why I live. you are why I live."

thinking about the ways Sondheim wrote about love - some of these lines are deceptively simple, painfully straightforward, but so exquisitely true of humanity and the heart.

(the last one, from Passion, also has one of my favorite lyrical parallels - in the second act of Sweeney Todd, the ballad for Johanna is reprised as a quartet, primarily characterized by the counterpoints Sweeney and Anthony are singing about her, neither truly about Johanna herself, but a figment, an untouchable version of her. Sweeney sings, "and if I never hear your voice, my turtle dove, my dear, I still have reason to rejoice, the way ahead is clear." it's a heartwrenching line and when I used to write about the show all the time, particularly discussed things like this - that clear way ahead for him is vengeance and death, he sings this tender, wistful song as he slices throats, not even registering the world. he is too obsessed with revenge to truly return to her. it's terrifying and tragic. Fosca sings of her love for Giorgio - which at that point is its own obsession, yet no less earnest and truly felt - that love is not much reason to rejoice, which is very much in the vein of "a source of little visible delight, but necessary." she assumes he will never reciprocate that, but it's the love itself that's sustaining and giving her a desire and purpose to live. they're the same words at complete odds. it's the thing I probably would've asked about had I ever written to Sondheim, and I hate myself for not doing it, because I always wanted to know - was it intentional? did the phrase live in his mind? did he want that contrast to exist or did he even realize it was there? did he simply like the alliterative sound of reason/rejoice? I can't ask that now, but it has vividly stayed with me for half my life.)

he wrote about love as being alive in all of these, it was a continual theme, even if the aspects and forms of that love were very different - warm and even, idealized, unattained but yearned for (where the wanting is enough), unrequited, aching, long passed but irrevocably true, fleeting, eternal, foundational. there are endless other themes in his work and humanistic portraits of emotion, creation, loss, understanding, but he said he wrote out of love and that always came across so clearly. acerbic wit and intellectual wordplay that is delightfully present throughout the work falls away in those moments to reveal the clarity and spirit in the center of all the journeys. we have always belonged together, even when it can never come to pass. blow out the candle, want something. love is why you do the things you do. it's not an uncommon thread in art, certainly music, by any means, but it's captivating when it comes from that sense of need and wonder, the honesty of holding it up to the light. expressing it in music unlocks something and everyone hears it differently. the gift of giving it form and voice, melody and words, is maybe the only way to make it everlasting.

Grace Monroe is a Liar (And Why That’s a Good Thing)

Note: this article does not sufficiently weigh Simon’s bad behaviors in Episode 11, “The New Apex”. This article has been kept unmodified for posterity.

Grace Analysis

“You know Sheena...you were right. Chloe shouldn't smile until her parents can afford to give her braces."

Grace is not simply a liar, however: she is also, to put it plainly, fake. She’s something of a social chameleon, but rather than drastically changing her presentation to fit in, she dons a fabricated, friendly and encouraging persona to make others “fit” her own desires. She even has variants of her persona for different audiences. She sounds like a friendly “cool kid” to 15-year-old Jesse, claiming he was a “natural” on his first raid although he only halfheartedly kicked a cube. She acts like an adoring parent to the younger Apex kids, squatting to the level of shorter Apex children, praising their offerings, and telling them she’ll keep the offerings someplace special. To Hazel (and Tuba) she acts like a kindergarten teacher at the first day of school, simultaneously making Hazel excited about The Apex and acting assuring to Tuba.

The most striking evidence for Grace’s lying social-chameleon-esque acts is how much her mannerisms and very voice change when addressing the Apex kids and Jesse compared to addressing Simon. In the first and second episode, she feels open to banter and bicker with Simon, such as exchanging unflattering nicknames or saying she doesn’t want his “ripeness” (body odor) giving away their position; she treats no one else as a friend like this.

Grace is not simply an insincere “queen bee” highschooler-type, either. As Uncivilized Elk has pointed out in “Cult Recruitment in "The Mall Car" – Infinity Train Analysis & Review” (warning; profanity), intentionally or not Grace’s tactics with Jesse show a step-by-step plan to indoctrinate Jesse into the Apex’s worldview. She praises Jesse and acts as if she cares about him, but is only manipulating him to a particular end. For example, when Jesse thinks the candy tastes bad, she convinces him to throw it to the wheels of the train, telling him he can “do what he wants”. However, this is almost certainly a precursor to making Jesse accept “wheeling” (killing by throwing them to the train’s wheels) denizens. Furthermore, in “The Jungle Car” she misdirects Hazel on who’s to blame for an unpopular decision, minimizes it (saying Simon was “confused”) and “resolves” the problem almost immediately: very suspicious abuser or cult-like behavior.

Initially, she engages in cognitive empathy (internal emulation of the emotional states of others) without really caring about others, to figure out how people work and so manipulate them. She has a utilitarian sort of approach, changing her persona to make others do what she wants and change them. To be fair, it’s possible not all of her kindness and empathy is faked. When Jesse took his exit, Simon calls him “weak”, but Grace says he wasn’t weak, but misled, and says: "We just lost another human, Simon. Show some respect.” Still, she’s certainly not sincere, overall. For example, despite teaching him he can “do what he wants”, when what Jesse wants goes against The Apex, Grace and Simon immediately try to stop him.

However, over time, Grace's temporary, utilitarian approach of altering personas to her goal makes her "become the mask". She eventually finds it hard to justify her continued kind and compassionate acts to Hazel in relation to her Apex worldviews, and the contradiction causes her distress.

Simon Analysis

Simon, in contrast, lies much less than Grace and is more open about how he feels, especially in his disdain for Denizens. While he initially seems friendly, when Jesse’s off on a raid he has no patience with MT’s concerns and outright tells her to “get out of here before Jesse gets back. You can’t help him like we can.” (Possible: it didn’t occur to him that Jesse might still trust Lake, so being too mean to Lake would come back to bite him.) He is also more open about his disdain for nulls around Hazel, though it would clearly benefit him to tone it down before they can “ditch” Tuba.

Two of Simon’s more important deceptions are notably half-truths, not outright claims. He claims MT broke Todd’s ankle, which is technically true: Todd kicked MT’s metal body and in the process broke his ankle. Arguably, him saying “no one knows” where the passengers go is him honestly saying he doesn’t know exactly where they go; how could he know Jesse Cosay’s home was in Arizona, and which specific location? Indeed, sometimes he does not lie even would it be very practical to do so. For example, although acting as if he “couldn’t save her in time” and pretending to be deeply unsettled by Tuba’s death would have gotten rid of Tuba and not put Hazel’s cooperation into question, he outright tells Hazel he wheeled her. His attempt to comfort her about “never hav[ing] to worry about that null again” could suggest obliviousness to the viewpoints of others, but it could also be his version of trustworthy, straightforward honesty, in accordance with his own beliefs.

It’s important to note that, though Simon is more honest than Grace, he still lies, deceives, and manipulates others. The difference between them is finesse, speed, and frequency. Though Simon may think of Grace as his plaything, or come to think of her as such, it’s Grace who’s effective at making others her playthings, by manipulating her social presentation like a social chameleon.

Root Causes

Arguably, both Grace and Simon do not treat people as means in themselves, but means to an end: in essence, other passengers are treated as tools for their own goals. It’s interesting to see how much Grace and Simon treat Apex members (and each other) like they treat nulls: that they are “only good as they are useful”. When they stop being “useful”, in the sense of helping the Apex or each other according to plan, they eventually become aggressive. Admittedly, the change to aggression is slower and more complicated for Simon to Grace in Season 3; Simon’s end goal for Grace could easily have been “comfort and companionship”, which friends naturally give anyway.

Grace emphasizes Jesse’s ability to choose for himself, but when Jesse’s decision strays from The Apex’s values and Grace’s plans, she doesn’t let him go with a “you’re missing out, buddy” lamentation. Instead, she says: “I wanted to go for the easy way, but you made it hard” and shows the Flecs where Lake is, presumably so they can do the dirty work for them. Jesse has value to Grace as an Apex member, one under her control, and not in any other sense. Grace’s logic for showing Lake to the Flecs parallels Simon’s actions in trapping Grace in her own memory tape; he says “you made me do this”. The Cat outright says Simon treats Grace as an object with: “and how should she be acting? She’s not like one of your toys.”

Grace Monroe is a liar, and much more so than Simon. And it’s because she is, in the words of the Memory Tape’s Hazel, a “coward leading cowards”. Grace’s lying comes from her fear: her fear of being wrong, of not being enough, of being alone. Her kindness to the Apex kids, faked or superficial as it may be, probably comes from the desire to give them what her parents would not. Adding onto her cowardice and fears, she initially hid her dropping number from Simon in “The Chat Chalet Car” because she "didn't want the Apex...or you...to see me like this...and think less of me." Though her fear Simon would think less of her for it was unfounded, as Simon sincerely supported her then, afterwards she hid her number from Simon. She “cut him out” (in Simon’s words) from her lack of courage to be open and honest. As Memory-Hazel points out, when Grace had the “chance to make it right”, by revealing she knew about Hazel’s condition when it was obvious she was a turtle, she did not.

Conclusion

Grace and Simon are both villain protagonists messed up by unresolved trauma and eight years of being on the train with no guidance whatsoever. One starts off slightly worse than the other, only to get much better discard her animus for nulls. One starts off slightly better, only to get much worse and expand his animus for nulls to humans as well: his former best (and only) friend, at that. It’s the tiny differences in how they relate to others and operate that cause their slightly different moral starting points and massively different end points.