#This and thinking everyone i know will leave me are two sad mindsets i have unintentionally. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

carpedzem · 3 months

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under the cut i want to talk a little bit, maybe overshare as well. ill try to keep it short (rereading nat here. i didnt). its a sad post, might make some of you angry but not for the reasons you think

i was staying away on purpose, but a few people asked about me so i wanted to let you know that hey, im lurking, im waiting to see what happens. maybe some things will change in the future but im putting it out here so its all in one place

i think i want to start with saying thank you again for sticking around, supporting my art and my thoughts and having discussions with me. i really opened up about myself and what I created here. im very anxious person and it influences my life on every level, so being heard, seeing people laughing at my jokes, loving my art has been so so important to me

about the situation, the gogcident if you will, i logged out as soon as i saw things going down and been getting updates though different source. and while situation is still on going and i dont know where it will go, as how it ends, theres two or three things im firm on that will always be true for me:

i really hate how believe all victims turns into believe everyone who speaks first, no matter what they say, no matter context, no matter proof. the first statement made in this case was untrue in a lot of important details and while i dont think caitis feeling are wrong or invalid i think her first statement made this situation into something it isnt. i think every victim should be heard but attacking everyone who was accused right away is not a solution

i do believe that everyone who was accused of anything has every right to defend themselves. the way its constantly taken away from dteam is not lost on me and its insane and upsetting

you can be traumatized by the events that werent in its core meant to be traumatizing. sometimes people act shitty and leave scars on you and sometimes you can do the same to other people

edited note bc i want this to be here as well: guilty until proven innocent is a crazy mindset and i cannot imagine situation that i would allow it. some idiots dont even realise how dangerous rhetoric that is. including accusers not being obligated to provide any proof of their claims

twt is the worst thing to deal with any discourse, misunderstanding or any delicate situation. i think no ones there cares for any victims period. i wish that place the worst

okay so what now. i havent decided yet. georges and dreams moves so far confirmed for me that no matter what happened it wasnt with malicious intentions. ill wait to see how this plays out and then ill decide about my next steps. one think i did for sure is i uninstalled twt from my phone (and that already bit my ass the moment dream started his space…) that part of fandom, both people who like (liked?) and hate dream is so damn self-destructive, toxic, manipulative and performative it wasnt worth it anymore. for here, i dont know yet. i dont hate dteam, i think this is very unfortunate and sad and complicated situation that left people very deeply hurt. and i wish it wasnt this way and im pretty sure dteam also wish that. but they cant change it and i cant change it even more

now this is something i dont really know how to tell you but let me try. i never mentioned this bc when i had those realizations, it was too late, everyone moved on and i felt stupid for dwelling on this. i feel stupid now, typing this. the thing is, drituation left me quite traumatized. fucking pathetic, i know. the sudden explosion of fandom left me really badly hurt. i lost a lot of people i genuinely believed to be friends with, and i miss them dearly. i felt, fuck it, still feel deeply betrayed by some of them. i dont want people guess who is who thats not the point, those people moved on long time ago. but that hurt has been really difficult to deal with, especially since realistically i know its quite stupid. crying over some people who were following me back for a few months? but i tried to let myself heal and grow love for this community again and i thought we will be okay. drituation felt like the end of the world but we got through it and I thought we are smarter. and well. im not trying to blame anyone or even a whole community, idk maybe i want to blame the universe for putting me here or society for working this way i dont know. but im hurting and i need to find a better way to deal with things going the wrong way. and it deeply upsets me but im afraid that i have to learn how to love you all less. and i honestly dont know yet what that means, how moving forward will look like. i dont have to make this decision now so i let myself stay away from social media for a while still and then go with presented situation the best i can. i dont try to make anyone responsible for my wellbeing i want to make this clear. im just trying to share my feelings and give you context for whatever happen in the nearest future. no matter what i need more healthy relationship not even with ccs but with community itself (and if you see me rebloging hazbin hotel fanarts. spare me...)

in this place i do want to state that no matter what i dont think dteam are bad people. im not closing myself at possibility of participating in the fandom, probably less though things i mentioned earlier. but if any of those things make you uncomfortable in any way, feel free to unfollow/softblock

im leaving my askbox open if anyone has anything to say, add, or idk, scream at me. not sure if i answer any tho. also if i delete this post in the next 10 minutes out of embarrassment then well, haha

on the final note i want once again thank you all for supporting me when i needed help for my cat. you all did something amazing, something i will never forget and i wish to hug everyone of you in person. thank you

see you around. one day. maybe tomorrow maybe in 10 days. idk

and if you are moving on in different direction, if we ever meet again, dont be a stranger

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likeadevils · 3 months

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is there a specific order you like to listen to the red vault tracks in? i’ve been thinking about this a lot ever since 1989 tv came out because the 1989 vault tracks tell such a cohesive story so i’ve been trying to figure out how to do that with the red vault

YES ITS LIKE. THE ALBUM TO REARRANGE FOR ME I GENUINELY HAVENT LISTENED TO THE ORIGINAL TRACKLIST IN YEARS NOW

i think i’ve run through it before but here’s my thoughts on the mains tracklist

state of grace: perfect opener no notes

22: this is and holy ground can switch for me, i think either makes a fantastic track two, but it’s hard to pass up 22 track 2. also i like how the second song and the second to last song parallel each other

treacherous: building off of 22’s “you look like bad news, i gotta have you”

i knew you were trouble: it’s the obvious mirror of treacherous, and also i think it’s important to establish the emotion->exact opposite emotion flip of the tracklist, and treacherous and ikywt are a really obvious example of that

all too well: i mean what else can you choose. also it’s a good flip of ikywt because it’s all the moments where it DIDN'T feel like trouble

wanegbt: “i remember it all too well 😔” -> “I REMEMBER WHEN WE BROKE UP 😡🙄” is just an insane whiplash. ALSO track sixes are such a hard landing to stick and can easily be overshadowed by the track five, and having a song that’s already been released kinda lets the song simultaneously have its moment beforehand and let you kinda check out on your first listen through while you recover from atw

come back be here: i think cbbh really just deserves a main album slot, mostly cause it deserved to be played on tour, but i also think it’s a great whiplash from wanegbt and a great lead in to…

the last time: it takes the more crush-focused aspects of cbbh and plays them out to the bitter end, just that cycle of always leaving and coming back and leaving again. also it’s the end of the first half of the album

red: it’s a great pick me up in the middle of three mellow songs, also i can’t separate this from run which i can’t separate from sad beautiful tragic and i can’t put sad beautiful tragic right before all too well so it needs to be further down the tracklist

run: “loving him was like driving a new maserati down a dead end street” -> “give me the keys, i’ll bring the car back around” makes me go CRAZY

sad beautiful tragic: THE AMOUNT OF PARALLELS WITH RUN IS INSAAAAAAAANE

holy ground: again this is a bit of a floater like i could see an argument for this being track two. and the argument is it goes hard at the start of the red tour

better man: this just needs to be by the end of the album for me. it feels like the start of the summary, wrapping up what we’ve learned and starting the hard work of moving on that the last few tracks will continue

i bet you think about me: that first verse really stretching out the betterrrrr’s after better man is funny. also, after an album of one sided pining in one way or another, it’s just like hey. fuck you. also, at first it kinda bugged me how the last few tracks starts at 4am, then 3am, then the middle of the night, but then i started seeing them as just slowly losing less and less sleep over it, which i kinda love now

nothing new: here is the damage i am left with. even if i move on from this relationship, here is the mindset that will whisper in the back of my mind forever— that i am valuable because of my youth, that my happiness is mockable and my sadness is quaint. this is the thing that led me to the relationship and this is the thing that i will be left with after it

begin again: and then… begin again. choosing happiness, choosing maturity, choosing childlike joy. like, you all know it’s an amazing closer, but after nothing new it just sings

+ forever winter: i think this does add important context to her general mental state? like 22 mentions how everyone is miserable, but really focuses on the highs of being 22. forever winter adds to it, how your peer group is falling apart and even when you are at your worst, you are being someone else's shoulder to lean on. it's not Needed to tell the story, but it is a good bonus.

+ starlight: more good context, especially in taylor's personal life-- as far as i can tell, this is the first song she wrote for red that Wasn't about crash and burn heartbreak, and it really kicked into high gear an obsession with vintage fashion and mid century celebrities that she ended up building part of her personality around. she's not just trying to find her old self again, she's building a new one

+babe: what am i supposed to do, not end the album with this is the last time i'll ever call you babe?

+ state of grace (acoustic), the red demo, and all too well (ten minute version) to get the tracklist to 22 and also fun bts context!

#asks*#claire's versions*

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rexc0re · 11 months

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It hurts to be scared.

A Serenity Fic

A/N: Told myself I’d take a break from writing for a week and not exhaust myself . And yet here you are reading this. So. Anyways enjoy this there was lots of sad emotions going on when I wrote this!! Also I’m pretty sure this one is shorter then the last one i THINK. (Ps-Promise the next writing will be happier :3)

Warnings: Panic Attack

I shouldn’t be here. I got out. I left. I’m safe now.

((Wake up))

This isn’t right. These people are bad. They’re all bad people. They’re going to hurt me, I need to get out of here.

((WAKE UP))

The hands shaking his shoulders felt like they had a stronger, harsher, grip than they truly did. The voices were louder than they were. The room was brighter than it was. He wasn’t in the mall anymore but the feeling of dread had not left.

“…..Ranboo? You okay bud? You’re shaking real bad what’s wrong, what was the nightmare kid you can tell us it’s okay.”

Sneegs voice and Charlie’s gently brushing of Ranboos hair was more startling then comforting. He’d just awaken from a nightmare. A terrible one where they’re back in the mall and they can’t trust anyone. Not even Sneeg and Charlie. This fear, this dread that everyone around him only has bad intentions including Sneeg and Charlie starts bubbling up.

He can’t take it. They’re going to hurt him. They’re lying. He knows it.

Their breathing is heavier, more shaky, the air isn’t going into his lungs correctly and his quick shoves and punches only make it worse. But he doesn’t care. He needs these two away from him NOW. They’re going to hurt him.

“Stay away nonono let go of me ill fucking hurt you stay away get away you’re bad you’re all bad leave me alone.”

Ranboos punching, kicking, scratching, yelling at Charlie and Sneeg. Charlie’s trying so hard to calm Ranboo, through his own tears, but it’s no use. Sneeg pulls Charlie off of Ranboo who scrambles to sit in the furthest corner of his bed. They sit on the floor in front of him.

“Ran..buddy. You gotta talk to us. Whats-“

“NO get out of my head. Don’t lie to my face, leave me alone. Get out. Get the hell out. I don’t want you here. Get out. … Please get out.”

Sneeg gets up, walks out.

Charlie follows.

They’re gone. He’s safe. Everything’s fine. He’s okay. The bad people aren’t going to hurt him.

Everything’s okay.

It’s fine.

It’s not okay.

Oh god it’s not okay. Why does he feel this way? Whats happening. The pain in their chest is so much worse. The tears are blurring his vision. The grip on his ears only gets stronger. He can’t stop sobbing. Why is he sobbing? They were gonna hurt them. Right?

Nononono that’s not right. Why does he feel that way??? Sneeg and Charlie. Sneeg and Charlie. They’re his brothers. They’d never hurt him. They’d never hurt him.

Whats is wrong with them? Why can’t they just be normal? Why can’t they just let their brothers help him? He couldn’t accept their help. All he did was yell and hurt them. They’re gone now. They’ve left. Cause he was being irrational and couldn’t let go of the mindset showfall left him with.

Ranboo couldn’t stop sobbing. His sobs were considerably loud now. He was wailing out apologies to no body. He just wants his brothers to come back. He needs them back.

“I’m so sorry…please come back oh god come back please. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell I didn’t mean to hurt you I’m so sorry please come back I was scared. I don’t wanna be scared anymore please come back it hurts to be scared come back please.”

Their cries continue as he claws at his clothes, the bed, his own skin. He’s so sorry. He didn’t mean to push them away and now he’s alone. Why did he have to be so scared why’d he have to push them away? It’s all their fault.

Everything that happened was their fault and they’re leaving him cause he was such a terrible brother. He just wants them back, he wants it all to go back to normal. He’s holding onto his ears so harshly, digging his palms into the sides of his head. Their knees slam into his chest with every rock of his body, their lungs taking in deep jagged breathes.

His sobs are incoherent jumbled phrases now. The words “sorry” “please” and “it hurts” being repeated over and over. Every wail is almost a scream now. God it hurts to cry this hard. But he can’t stop it. They need his brothers back. Please come back.

Then he heard it. The click of the door being opened again. Charlie’s socked feet padding against the floor of Ranboos room as he comes over to Ran, Sneegs own footsteps following soon after. There’s a moment of disbelief. They’re really coming back. He’s stopped rocking now. The grip on his ears loosens a bit and with a shaky breathe he looks up through tears at the familiar silhouette of Charlie.

As soon as Charlie was in arms length Ran threw himself as close to his chest as he could. He needed to hear Charlie’s heart beat. They needed to know if he was truly there. Charlie shushed and gently raked his fingers through their hair, holding their head close to his chest. All Ran could do was cry, when Sneeg wrapped his arms around the two of them his sobs got harder. He couldn’t stop apologizing, the words falling out of his mouth like a prayer.

A prayer that they’d never leave again, a prayer that he could fix himself and never have to hurt them again, the prayer that everything would be alright again.

He shook in the embrace of his brothers. They held him as close to them as they could. None of them had any intention of letting go. They’d never let go.

Sneeg and Charlie cared for Ran so much. He was their brother. No matter the nightmares, no matter the paranoia or fear. He would always be their brother. They could kick, scratch them, make them bleed, and they’d do it all over again out of love.

No matter the pain Ranboo causes them. No matter the amount of cruel words he threw at them. They’d always love him. They made that promise to each other, they’d always be there for each other. They were going to take care of Ranboo just as he’d taken care of them.

They were going to get through this together.

From now and to forever,

They’d always have each other.

#serenity au #generation loss #generation loss fanart #ranboo #slimecicle #sneegsnag #writing #Spotify #tw panic attack

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moldingtundra · 2 months

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why sk8rclown (pilby x infected) is OTP 💥💥

Sooo you read the title, so you know what this post is gonna be about!

P.S this is MY personal opinion and if you ship anything else that’s fine! But for the 0.5 percent of ppl who are here for the rare pair I present to you the ultimate explanation on why this ship works so so well

without further ado let’s discuss why the non-bi pan cattipillar and the emo chic dude form the 2010’s would totally kiss!

Ok first of all; what is their dynamic and why does it work so well?

well that actually depends on how you see them, but in general, I think their base dynamic is the scared and soft introvert x outgoing extrovert, as clearly seen by their dialogue and personality documented in the wiki, it’s clear that this dynamic seems to fit best.

It even shows in their limited interactions with one another, yes, I know there’s only technically 3 interactions so far (subject to change in the future) BUT even then you can clearly see the chemistry that bounces off.

This and the other dynamic being old fashioned x high tech of some sorts, example:

Infected: "I c4nT wA1t tO r41Se My Fi5HinG Stat5!! B)"

"Golly.. fishing.. stat?

"That sounds confusing.."

Infected: "Th4t5 My aw3sOM3 Vid30 g4mE!!"

Infected: "I'm TrY1nG to G3t a G0lD3n TenCH!!"

"All those video games and whatnot has got me so confused.."

On top of that, their mindset is actually quite parallel with each other; infected is stuck in the 2010’s, while Pilby is stuck in their old fashioned ways (idk what time era though help)

plus, infected seems like the type of guy to really have a deep care for the ones he loves, with words of affirmation and physical presents and whatnot, and pilby, being a guy with little self esteem and belittles themselves, while also showing comfort in reassuring words, would definitely either get flustered at infecteds compliments or crash like a windows explorers page and go💥💥💥 /hj plus, I’d like to think that he’d get pilby flowers (despite his allergy) just to please them and see them smile super brightly (although pilby would immediately stare in horror at infecteds puffed up face (allergies ammiright)/jjjj

And then there’s my interpretations, obviously this ain’t gonna apply for everyone but I personally believe that infected is the type to show the most affection and also be the caring type while pilby is the two stud tall guy who is a nervous wreck and shrivels at the mention of going out to a party, LOL, ok but no seriously soft caring extrovert and scared little rat dynamic save me save me dynamic.

alright lh, that’s all I have for this section, onto the next!

I think the reason why pilby x infected always stuck out to me is just the thought of it, like wow! A 2010s emo chick and a clown! Sounds like something random but trust me, it works, think of it like the emo and bright pink chic dynamic, just with a few tweaks.

this and also my interpretations of the characters (Alr explained in the previous section) it’s just such a unique take, and I’m a fucking sucker for unique ship types.

heck even their designs actually compliment each other, pilby is soft and round, and infected is bright and bold.

Anyways, more ramblings uhm, I feel like infected, despite being the caring one, would also be reckless, often time getting into scuffs, which worries pilby and brings out his more firm and true side, like a wife having to deal with their husbands shenanigans. I feel like because of that pilby can take the opportunity to show their more truer side, the side that’s not always sad and sighing about their mama, the side that is happy for the little things in life and always takes the time to admire the surroundings, something that infected takes for granted sometimes due to their hyperactive and fast nature, and that alone, would teach infected to slow down as well, to take in the scenery around him sometimes, the warm sun, the falling leaves, the chirps of the birds, flying high into the clouds, setting off on an adventure, it’s the little things that count the most.

and in return, pilby would learn that not everything is all rainy clouds, that they sometimes does need a few push’s outside of their comfort zone to enjoy a few things. Maybe a little skating wouldn’t hurt (or will, depends if pilby falls when infected let’s them go) or saying hi to split every once in a while can actually lead to some funny conversations and thereafter, thoughtful moments to cherish for years to come possibly.

it’s an effect, they rub off each other, they stuck together and learned new things about and for their life, even if it’s little or silly, it’s worth everything to them, and it’s worth it because they have each other. When pilby is with infected, there’s nothing to worry, and when infected is with pilby, he can relax for once and actually chill, seeing the comfort of being simplistic.

And I think that’s fucking beautiful, I think that’s what struck me hard for this ship, it’s so loving and touching ai feel like I could cry just writing this. It’s truly the deep realizations that make these types of silly posts worth writing.

anyways im Uhhhhh getting TOO autistic here.and I have limited time, BUT THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK ON WHY SK8RCLOWN IS MY OTP AND MAYBE WHY U SHOULD SHIP THEM IDK I JUST REALLY WANTED TO RAMBLE ABOUT THE YAOI DUO. Anyways uhhh bye ^_^

#regretevator roblox #regretevator #pilby #infected #pilby x infected #sk8trclown #gay #wiritng #im insane #help me #infected regretevator #pilby regretevator

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peaceoutofthepieces · 20 days

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Uh hi! So I know you usually do ship stuff, but I am desperate for some Isaac Henderson angst content. I’ve found a few here and there but most of them aren’t actually super angsty and a lot somehow feel more about the other characters even if they’re meant to be about Isaac. They’re good but nothings really scratched that itch so far. Could you write something using #12 from the angsty dialogue prompts? Or honestly if you’d rather not do that one, any one of the prompts would be great. I’ll leave it up to you what exactly it’s about and who the line is directed at, I just wanna see my fave go through it.

hello!! i'm sorry this took so long! i would like to clarify that i started it ages ago, but it was at less than 1000 words yesterday evening, and then it was finished at 2am last night. (i got so into it i'm currently in the mindset of "that's it, i'm going to try and post at least a fic a week now 😤", but we will see if that actually happens.) so, i hope if nothing else it's sufficiently angsty and not too ooc. you did give me quite a bit of freedom, and it remains unclear if that was a good choice or not 😅 anyway, enjoy!!

12. "Help me."

Post-prom, Isaac felt out of sorts.

His situation with James and his odd encounter at Elle’s exhibition had been eye-opening, to say the least. Angela Chen’s Ace still resided on his nightstand, though he’d finished reading it two days after lifting it from the library. He couldn’t bring himself to return it just yet; he found himself going back to it at night, rereading sections over again as if they would tell him something new, feeling he was still missing something. And anyway, they were still on summer holidays. The school wouldn’t miss it for now.

No one seemed to be missing him much, either.

It was becoming more noticeable, this summer break, how he was the odd one out. He’d been aware his friends were essentially coupled off for months now, and Paris had cemented it, but Paris had also kept them stuck together as a group.

(Plus, most of the Paris trip had been before things had become royally awkward with James, but he was mostly avoiding thinking about all that.)

The situation with Darcy had understandably taken a bit of a priority in the past couple of weeks, but it didn’t explain the shift that had seemed to happen within all his friends since prom. Isaac had figured for a while that Elle would be leaving, and he assumed it was why she and Tao had been attached at the hip. He didn’t begrudge them it, really. He had watched them pine over each other long enough that leaving them this time together felt warranted. Besides, it wasn’t like they were asking Charlie to movie nights recently, either.

But it also wasn’t likely Charlie was waiting to be asked, these days. He and Nick had seemingly re-entered their honeymoon phase, which was fair given that they finally could be as coupley as they wanted wherever and whenever they wanted. Isaac just found it odd that it seemed to be more since prom than Nick’s coming out, but he was not going to ask about that. It made sense he didn’t want to think about. The intense, somewhat dark cloud that seemed to still hang over Nick around Charlie was more worth questioning, but it was also part of what kept Isaac from encroaching on them recently.

Everyone seemed to have something going on. His going-ons felt a little unworthy, in comparison. He wasn’t sure if he was feeling shit about himself because he didn’t want to put an extra burden on his friends and it was a bit sad he considered his feelings a burden, or if that was an excuse for not having to talk about it because he didn’t really know how and it was making him feel shit.

So, yes. Out of sorts.

Out of sorts and alone, most of the time.

He was not in the habit of pitying himself, however, and he was not about to start now. So what if he was having some life-defining realisations about himself and he had no one to share them with? He’d coped with life mostly on his own so far and he’d continue to do so.

And he was coping. Perfectly.

Kind of.

Sitting in one of his best friend’s houses, surrounded by their other friends and staring into a book was how he always coped, so this was perfectly normal. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t absorbing the words and everyone seemed louder than usual. He hadn’t been sleeping well. He was tired. That’s all he was feeling.

Tara tugged at his foot from where she and Darcy were perched on the floor by his armchair. “Isaac, we're gonna play a boardgame. Put the book down and come join us!”

Isaac looked, but Tao and Elle were still wrapped up in each other in the corner and Nick and Charlie were nowhere in sight. He raised an eyebrow at Tara. “We are?”

“Yes! Nick and Charlie are away to get them right now, so come get comfy.”

Darcy snorted. “Good idea, because we could be waiting for a bit.”

Tara slugged her shoulder and Darcy only giggled again.

“Shouldn't they have passed the honeymoon phase by now?” Isaac asked, lowering his book slightly but not yet closing it.

“Nick and Charlie?” Tara grinned. “I'm not sure those two will ever come out of it.”

“Well, I can't say I don't understand,” Darcy quipped, leaning in to Tara with a grin. Tara turned towards her, and their smiles melded as they kissed.

Isaac snapped his book closed. “Actually, I think I'll go to the loo while we're waiting.”

No one gave any sign of hearing him, so Isaac slipped quietly out of the room and up to the bathroom. He rolled his eyes at the giggles coming from Charlie's room and didn't pause. Closing the bathroom door behind him, he finally released a sharp breath. He perched himself on the edge of the bath and pulled out his phone.

Instagram was a distraction he did not often indulge in. His follow count was small—only his friends and favourite authors alongside a small cluster of bookstagrammers he'd found to have good taste. He saved a couple of recommendation posts, then began clicking through stories, pausing when he reached James's.

The story was almost timed out, all of it from last night, seemingly at a party. Isaac had stopped on a video where James appeared to be singing along to the song playing with another boy. In the middle of it, the boy had swooped forward to kiss James on the cheek.

Isaac stared at James’s delighted expression and something complicated clenched in his chest. He quickly locked the phone and set it beside him, directing his focus to the wall.

It was good, he rationalised. James was wonderful; he deserved to be going out and having fun, and he deserved, without question, to have a handsome boy having fun with him. Whether they were friends or something more didn't matter, but the something more definitely seemed possible, if not likely. And James deserved someone who could give him that.

Isaac had not been able to give him that—did not want to give anyone that, could not derive any joy from it, even from the chance of it giving joy to someone else.

He was not incapable of love. He knew that. When he looked at his family, when he looked at Charlie and Tao and Elle, he was always so full of love he felt he might explode from it. It wasn't romantic, and it wasn't physical, but it was love, in its purest form it seemed, to him, given he did not want anything in return for it but their happiness and their continued place in his life.

It was love, uncomplicated, unconditional love, and why wouldn't that be enough?

He never seemed to be enough.

He always did what he could to be a good son and a good friend, and he had never doubted it until recently. James had been one of those good friends. He still was, as far as Isaac was concerned, but their relationship had undeniably changed. Maybe it was simply in an awkward phase that would pass, but Isaac, at the moment, could not believe it would ever be the same. For a time, James had been something of his best friend—not because Isaac liked him more than Charlie or Tao or Elle, or because he really spent more time with him, but because James was Isaac’s friend in a way they were not. They spent time together, the two of them, and shared interests the two of them, and when they had been together they had not felt the need for any company outside of the two of them.

But that had not meant the same to James as it had to Isaac, and Isaac could not give him anything more. He understood that his rejection would not be taken without consequence, but he hadn't been prepared to be, in a way, rejected in return.

Was this all he would ever achieve? Having friends who would always be somewhat distant—who would always have someone closer, someone better—or having someone close who would eventually want that closeness in a way he did not. Before, he'd worried he was not worthy of that want to begin with. Never had he thought it would be his inability to return it that would be the issue. Could he be upset, that it was his not wanting to be too close that lost him all closeness as a result?

He was alone on an island of his own making. He couldn't blame anyone for leaving him there if he wasn't going to invite them in, could he?

Was this, then—alone in the bathroom of his best friend's house with his phone locked beside him and tears in his throat—all he was destined for?

Isaac Island, party of one.

A knock on the door startled him, and he swore quietly as he knocked his phone onto the tiles. As he picked it up, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and blanched. There were no tears, but his eyes were red and his face was blotchy and the tears were waiting in his throat, they surely would be there if he went back downstairs to—

Another knock.

“One—one minute,” he tried, clearing his throat when his voice cracked. He quickly turned on the tap and ran his hands and wrists under the cool water, but it did nothing to steady his breathing. The thought of his aloneness had choked him, but the thought of returning into company strangled him. It was not his friends’ fault—he refused to make it his friends’ fault—but at the moment, he couldn't bear them all the same.

He cupped more cold water in his hands and scrubbed it over his face, but it did not shock him out of the spiral of his thoughts. The third knock barely registered over the growing ringing in his ears.

“Isaac?” Not Charlie, like Isaac had thought. Not Nick either, or Tara, or any of them. “Are you okay? I'd really like to use the loo.”

His island, he thought deliriously, was sinking; he was drowning, and still, he could do nothing but soak his hands under the tap and soak his face in turn and suck in breaths that did not hold enough oxygen. He was drowning, he was sinking, he could not see it but his body felt it and his lungs were going to seize, he was dying—

He cut the knocking off by throwing open the door and gasping, “Help me.”

Isaac had one second to appreciate Tori’s bewildered expression before it turned serious and she took to action. “Isaac? Hey. Look at me.” She set her hands on his shoulders as he wrapped his arms around his middle, still heaving. “I'm assuming you didn't just get diagnosed with asthma,” Tori said, still impossibly calm—perhaps he was actually the sea, he thought, undefinable and raving, and she the island, unravagable. Isaac shook his head. “Alright. I think, then, this is likely a panic attack. Would it help if I get Charlie?”

Isaac shook his head more vigorously.

To her credit, Tori only considered him for a few seconds, and didn't argue. She guided him back into the bathroom and gently kicked the door closed. “Sit,” she told him. He did, and she crouched in front of him. Immediately, with his knees pulled to his chest and the bath supporting his back, it was better. He was not so adrift. “You're alright. It will pass. I know it's stupid, but you really do just have to focus on breathing.”

She started counting. It was only when she'd repeated the numbers four times that he understood she was telling him how long to breathe in and out for. Then he tried to follow it, and slowly, air felt like it was moving through him regularly again.

Isaac wiped at his cheek. To his embarrassment, his fingers came away damp. He didn't look at Tori, but he said, “Thank you.” Then, “Sorry.”

She didn't brush off his apology, or tell him to get out now so she could actually use the loo—both of which would have been fair and not unexpected responses. Instead, she turned and sat next to him. She leaned against the bath to his left, a few inches between their shoulders, and stared at the wall quietly with him.

When his skin stopped vibrating, he tucked his arms around his middle again and breathed out. “How did you know what to do?” he asked.

She glanced at him and shrugged. “I didn't, really.”

It was all she offered, but it seemed honest. Isaac decided not to push. He was too grateful to care much.

“Do you want to tell me what it was about?” she asked, softly.

Isaac looked over at her. She was looking back, unsmiling but not unhappy. She reminded him a lot of Charlie, Isaac had always thought. They seemed similar in ways they likely weren't even aware of. It was both comforting and unnerving. “Do you really want me to?”

Tori shrugged again. “I'd prefer it if you told Charlie or your other friends, because I think that would be more helpful. But I don't think you want to. So you can tell me, if you need to tell someone.”

That was—exactly what Isaac needed, really. He didn't exactly think it should be Tori. They'd known each other a while, and they liked each other well enough, but they weren't friends. Plus, Isaac knew she and Charlie were actually close; it felt weird and unfair to tell her something and then ask her to keep it from him.

But in this moment, he could not think of a better option, and the mere thought of getting the weight off his chest was a relief.

“I think I'm going to end up alone,” he said, blunt and ridiculous. Tori, completely fairly, raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “Not because I think I'm unlovable or something like that.” Although that was part of it. “But because—” Could he say the actual words? “—I think I'm asexual, and aromantic, so I don't think I'll ever love love anyone, and I think that means I'll always be a bit alone.”

He could.

It still seemed sad and pathetic when he said it out loud, maybe even more so, but the act of it—the unretractable reality of it—settled something in him.

Tori's expression, a little confused but free of judgement, only added to that feeling. “So, you don't feel romantic or sexual attraction,” she said slowly. “At all. Is that what you mean?”

Isaac was vaguely impressed. He nodded.

“When did you figure this out?”

Isaac took a long, heavy breath. “I think, properly, I started to figure it out in Paris, when I realised this guy liked me and I was trying to figure out if I liked him back? But I think I'd been starting to realise it long before then. I just…hadn't known what to call it, or what it meant.”

Tori, he noticed gratefully, took time to process this before nodding. “And now?”

Isaac blinked. “Now?”

“What do you think it means now?”

Oh. Isaac hadn't expected the question, and he found himself unsure of how to answer. “I think it means I'm always going to be lonely.”

Tori tilted her head. “But you didn't think that before.”

“What?”

“You said you don't think you're unlovable. And I agree. I think Charlie loves you a lot. I think most people would, because you are a very nice person. You didn't think of that as less important because it wasn't romantic before. What changed?”

Changed? Nothing. Everything. They were growing up, and love had more meanings when you grew up, and some of those meanings became less important. He looked at the wall again. “They have other people they love more,” he said softly.

“And you won't ever have that,” Tori returned, equally soft. Not a barb, not a rebuke, nothing negative at all. Just realising; working through it alongside him. “So you think you won't ever be the most important person to someone.”

Isaac swallowed, unable to answer. Not because he didn't know the answer—because it was yes, it was true, she was right, of course she was—but because it was impossible to admit.

“I think that's the case for most people,” Tori said, at once blunt and thoughtful. Isaac looked back at her, awaiting an explanation. “Think about it. Even the most in love people usually have children, and then their children are the most important people, or at least equally important. And if they have more than one child, no one of them is the most important, and neither of the parents are the most important to the other. I think, instead of having one supremely important person, most people have a group of important people in their life.”

She looked over at him and continued. “There probably are different levels and different kinds of importance, but I don't think that necessarily means one is worth less than the other.”

Isaac sat, for a moment, and absorbed that. Could it be true? He thought of his family. He was lucky, in that scenario. His parents were kind, were wonderful, and he knew without question that they loved him, and he loved them. Neither one of them, he realised, was more important to him than the other. He had different relationships with them both, but each of their losses would leave an equally sized hole in his heart.

He knew that probably wasn't the same for most people, but if he could find that one example in his own life so easily, he couldn't deny it was possible in others.

“I suppose,” Isaac said. “I think I know what you mean. I don't think it's the same, but—I know what you mean.”

Tori did smile, now. A barely there thing, but warm and kind, all the same. “It probably isn't the same. I know me saying I love my brothers equally and neither of them are less important doesn't mean anything for your friends treating you the same as their partners, or even other friends. But I think—every relationship is as important as you make it. And sometimes, people might not know they aren't making it important, if they don't know what's important about it to you.”

“Has important stopped sounding like a real word to you, too?” Isaac asked.

“About six ‘important’s ago,” Tori agreed.

Isaac laughed, and his relief grew. Tori's smile also grew, just a tick.

“You're saying I should just talk to my friends,” Isaac noted, eventually, and Tori's smile grew wry.

“I did say that at the very beginning, yes.” Isaac laughed again, and she shook her head. “But I am saying you should explain to them. I can't promise you're wrong, or tell you everything will be fine,” she said truthfully. “But I don't think you can assume people can't give you what you need, if you don't tell them what that is and let them try.”

Isaac’s chest tightened again, but it was different to the breathless feeling from before. Instead of hopelessness, it was an anticipatory sort of buzz. There was a sureness that hadn't been there before.

There was a clatter from outside, and this time it was Charlie's voice that called out. “Isaac! Are you still up here? We have the game set up.”

Isaac looked from the door back to Tori. She gave him another smile and nodded. “Go on. I have really needed to pee for about ten minutes now.”

Isaac laughed, again, and got to his feet. Tori passed his phone up to him, and he thanked her once more. He knew she could tell he meant for everything, and she wouldn't appreciate him making more of it, so he took his leave without another word, leaving her to pee in peace.

Charlie was hovering at the top of the stairs. His face broke into a smile at Isaac’s appearance. “There you are. You've been up here ages.” His smile drooped slightly as Isaac came closer. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Isaac nodded. “Sorry, I got caught talking to Tori.”

“In the bathroom?” Charlie huffed, bewildered but amused. For a moment Isaac pictured Tori's expression when he'd opened the door to her, and he smiled.

He only hesitated for a second before saying, “I wanted to talk to all of you about something, actually.”

Immediately, Charlie's expression softened. “Yeah?” When Isaac nodded, Charlie smiled and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, tugging him towards the staircase. “Come on, then. The game can wait.”

#heartstopper #heartstopper fic #isaac henderson #prompts #i actually really enjoyed writing this #i feel like i don't express my love for isaac enough #so this was a good opportunity #so thank you vm for trusting me with the request!#i hope it's at least somewhat what you were looking for <3 #honourable tag for #tori spring #i could imagine no one else when i thought of this scenario/convo #i think any interaction between these two would be a very cool and important thing to have #my fics

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s-arrynight · 11 months

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UH are we allowed to ask you questions? Cause I have questions on. The Sillies. (Kinjo and Yuki) Like what are your thoughts on their ship? I see you draw Kinjo with DRA Yuki and the real Yuki and I want to know what you actually think about them.. feel free to go off about it but if not you can just delete this hdshhsd

oh yes of course!!! and i do wanna talk about it, gosh i really haven't elaborated my piece about them yet since this is an art blog n i felt a little annoying when i blow up a tag, THANK YOU!! !!!

I also don't see many people talk about post-sdra2 either. this take, im gonna be minty fresh

kinjomae analysis

DRA Yuki

Canon-speaking, Kinjomae was deliberately called back to in both games. Tsurugi fills the role of the queer survivor in dra the way that Yoruko blatantly does in sdra2 (and the protagonist dies) except, it's less obvious as a main couple because of the way linuj writes, and it also doesn't fit the way some people see stereotyped mlm characters.

Kinjo's entire life is a trauma that is so oriented on staying alone, being alone in his suffering and his profession. He particularly killed the men closest to him, (Teruya, Kouhei, threatening Utsuro, and even his father) and seeing those people die around him leaves him numb. I feel like the Yuki of the first game is another unhealthy contributor to the sad cycle of his life, but ALSO remains to be his biggest savior. Kinjo and Akane are the only characters of DRA to have both 5 free-times, their bond has always been THAT highlight level of important.

DRA Yuki tears into this unhealthy string of Tsurugi's life by literally preventing the one time he felt alone the most. In Yuki's perspective, Tsurugi is such a strong figure but still trusting himself to lean on him, it solidifies both of them and forces them to develop their situations even when Utsuro rips through the Yuki facade. They were partners in crime unknowing that one of them was a criminal, omg, they were the dear rabbit, the along came a spider, the jane and john doe,,,

Tsurugi mentions he can't trust anybody but Yuki, Tsurugi gives Yuki a pass at trying to murder him despite his rigid moral. (not without a punch or two, but impressive.) and when Yuki is on the outsides he is the connected peacekeeper to Kinjo VS. Everyone Else. They are there to hold eachother's hands so they can still reconnect onto the border of the group. Like, the way Yuki shouts main character philosophy in chapter 4 at him while he's fighting everyone else brutally at the dinner table, and once again in chapter 6.

(Teruya, then fulfils this goal of reparation with Rei after they leave the killing game, but not on the mental stability side.) Tsurugi is seemingly independant and incredibly uncontrollable due to his detachment, and yet Yuki is able to have a significant part of influence over his life; as well as the deceased Kisaragi pre-killing game.

Yuki IS and will always be the exception to him and no matter how hard he tries to escape it, it follows him till the remainder of his character arc. In the same way, Tsurugi was the kickstarter to Utsuro's new mindset too. It's the "You can't pull the trigger cause you love me", cause that's what Utsuro-Yuki is to Tsurugi. Utsuro may be the most vile villain in the world to somebody who even considered assisted self defense to be a crime on first thought, and then he STILL proceeded to not take that final shot. He didn't hesitate blowing Mikado up, who arguably wasn't the first source of despair.

anyways i think dra yuki-utsuro/tsurugi are integral, important, and good to know your hizstory

he wants me i want him, we went out, then we (YukiUtsuro) DIED!! /ref

Yuki

Tsurugi would move on to be the worst man to cope in the existence of the franchise, and probably hardly ever move on after the death of DRA Yuki. If Yuki was truly dead he'd have two funerals for his two guypals, and spit on Utsuro's grave pretending not to like him. Plus that bad ending where Tsurugi just wakes up in the middle of the night in cold sweat shows what would sort of happen, he thinks about them too much. However,

Yuki was still a concept of a person who existed in the world. He's not gone, he's just someone in a different form, and still is inside the memory of Kinjo's mind that remains deteriorating. He's like, the same dude but he's in the clutches of EVIL!! and he hates evil. (Kinjo seems to catch onto Mikado's plans early on and then it only amplifies in his duty to stop Utsuro and find Yuki.)

Tsurugi's defeatist attitude to fail saving Teruya and Yuki was very much a falsetto because of the Omake 2 and I truly believe Rei was right that this was their agreed purpose.

The real Yuki has none of these shared moments that Tsurugi can look back on together, but if it was just the memories he wouldn't have acted so patronizing to Utsuro. He's affectionately looking back on the person that Utsuro was, which was just Yuki Maeda. Did Homura Akemi decide to go back in time for 10 years just so Madoka could share moments with her?? Absolutely not, and the same goes for Tsurugi Kinjo, who ran an entire organization which later adopted the name of the goal. As Mikado joked, it's "the love of your life" but it's in the most unconventional messy, dictatorial, and murderous way.

Kinjomae absolutely drives the narrative forward on Yuki's side of the story even if it's significantly relegated mostly to the end. Imagine your entire existence leaning on a few people you can't even remember, but they remember you? One dude sacrifices a guy, one girl sacrifices her body. With Tsurugi's final decrees of (semi) unconditional care for you, you finish the trial with this one-sided trauma bond and a promise to keep the survivors safe. Sora takes on all the karmic debt of Divine Luck, and peace returns in an ending that isn't really elaborated on.

ur now a fugitive awesome trans guyboss with superpowers, and you're just absolutely bawling out of your mind at this point. some blue haired dude in a wheelchair is going to die if you don't help him out with your sora-luck.

nobody talks about this enough but this is THE PERFECT set-up for a postgame friendship to develop, not only are they both survivors, this is the genuine Yuki who isn't hiding apart of an Utsuro disguise. He's alive but now in the body of someone Kinjo despised,,, he hates Akane, he refuses to acknowledge her. he loves yuki. But Yuki remembers her fondly and has to take care of the body, but he probably hates himself. not to mention the INTENSE guilt you would get from feeling anything in it or the dysphoria of even wearing/not wearing the clothes she is??? sdra2 so evil?? soruko died so kinjomae could slowburn.

There's nothing Yuki can do now but go on his quest to potentially get along with this man who is homo-erotically trauma bonded to him and got a whole-ass person killed in the process of ending Utsuro and finding the true Maeda., He also has to go atone to Yoruko and the rest of the gang. as you can see i like kinjomae i think they are a foundational element in the story of dra.

unrelated thinking

their suits are completely black and white i find that silly they match

my partner and i did a voiceover of their final freetime one time cause we were feeling quirky.

youtube

#kinjomae #sdra2 #danganronpa another #kites blog

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fixfoxnox · 1 year

Note

tell me more about just fucking whatever then man :) infodump away!

Luke's Giant COD AU List (feel free to request!!)

Warnings: NSFW, Dark Themes (Kidnapping, Dub-con, prostitution)

Compound AU (Ghost/Roach/Soap)

I think most of you guys are familiar with this one, but just in case you aren't:

Roach's father was extremely paranoid/anti-government and spread that mindset to his mother. Before Roach was born they locked their entire family (his parents and three older brothers) into their family farm that his father had turned into a survivalist compound. Roach was born and raised here, but at the age of 18 he escaped and went to his Aunt, Kate Laswell, for help. He ends up joining the military and eventually Laswell introduces him to the 141 when they need someone they can trust for a more secretive mission.

It's Ghost/Roach/Soap (as you'll soon realize most of these are lmao). And despite the premise its actually way cuter/fluffier than it sounds as its essentially just a bunch of himbo/bamf Roach oneshots rolled together.

Anima Au (Ghost/Roach/Soap)

Another one a lot of you might be familiar with!

This world has little creatures called Anima who are essentially super powered protectors who are born with the purpose of protecting their human. Roach is Ghost's mischievous Anima who has taken a liking to one of his team mates, Soap. Its all good though, because Ghost also has a thing for Soap.

So we get mischievous feral horny Roach who does mischievous feral horny guy things like trying to jump Soap and Ghosts bones at any and all opportunities. This has like 5 parts out and the next one will be straight up smut so

Ultranationalist Roach (Roach/Everyone)

Roach is betrayed by Shadow Company and left for dead. He survives, but gets dishonorably discharged from the military for trying to speak out against the men who tried to kill him. When he's discharged, he and several other men who left the military following him, form the American Ultranationalist party.

After an assassination attempt that leaves Roach and Jackson the only two remaining leaders of the party alive, the ultranationalists quickly become more violent to get to their goals and are soon branded terrorists, with the 141 being sent to bring down Roach.

Despite the fact that the men are trying to kill him, Roach decides that they're all rather gorgeous, and he wouldn't mind having them around, so he devises a plan to slowly kidnap the team and form a little harem for himself, starting with one Vladimir Makarov.

Essentially just mischievous feral horny Roach but now x everyone dnfnfnnf

Assassin! Roach aka Pyre (Ghost/Roach/Soap)

A spin off of SiTO that explores what could have happened if Roach ran into Shadow Company before he ever met the 141. This actually has been around for a bit, as it was one of the early ideas that I'd considered for SiTO.

Essentially he and Jackson get tasked to work with Shadow company and, inevitably, the two men are betrayed. They're both shot and the Shadows attempt to burn them, but Roach is not willing to die so easily this time. He manages to pull both himself and Jackson out of the fire so that they can take refuge in a little village nearby.

The two men are considered KIA and, now both having nearly died again and knowing that the other remembers, decide that they're going to take a different route when it comes to handling things this time. Roach becomes an Assassin and Jackson becomes his guy in the chair as they slowly begin killing bad people, working their way up to bigger and bigger targets with their eventual goal being the assassination of Vladimir Makarov.

Sad kinda depressing fic, but will be filled with lots of bamf Roach so its kinda worth it.

Dragon AU (Ghost/Roach/Soap)

Soap and Ghost are bonded dragons who feel like they are missing something from their bond. They eventually find it in the prince of a nearby kingdom, Roach. They "kidnap" him and bring him back to their land to join their relationship. Roach is chill with it cause Soap and Ghost are good cuddlers and they let him roam around the woods.

However, word of Roach being taken spreads around and Soap and Ghost are forced to defend him against endless numbers of princes and knights coming to try to rescue him. Not only that, but a black scaled dragon in the woods near their castle has taken a liking to their bonded and keeps trying to steal him!

Luckily for them, they also have plenty of time to be fluffy cute boyfriends and occasionally get visits from their various dragon friends! This whole AU is really just cute fantasy/monster vibes sjfjfjfj

Monster AU (SoapRoach) (Ghost/Roach/Soap)

My take on the monster AU's that have slightly taken over the Fandom. Ghost is a very very powerful hybrid (offspring of a demon and vampire) who has just been brought on to the 141, a specialized military team filled only with monsters. He's typically used to the people that he works with being scared shitless of him, so he isn't prepared in the slightest for the 141.

There is Price and Gaz. Price almost takes on a fatherly role to him, the older reaper showing no sign of fear of him at all. In fact, the older man keeps occasionally slipping him an extra blood bag with his meals, constantly checking in to make sure he's eating properly. Gaz is a rather unassuming nymph who, despite not looking like much, can be absolutely terrifying when he wants to. Which is usually when someone fucks with the plants that he's growing on base. He doesn't seem to even realize how dangerous Ghost is, constantly asking him questions about the little plant he keeps in his room and occasionally giving unprompted advice on how to care for it better.

But possibly the most confusing are the two overexcited werewolves on the team. Soap and Roach are attached at the hip, likely to be found wrestling or running around like excited puppies just as often as they can be found trying to get in each other's pants wherever the fancy takes them. Ghost tries to steer clear of the two, their overly happy and excitable nature making him want to keep away. Unfortunately for him, its like the two men have become somehow attached to him, almost always following him around like lost puppies, begging for his attention.

He was expecting fear from his team, not two over grown dogs to decide he was their new owner! Starts SoapRoach and turns into Soap/Roach/Gost when they invite Ghost into their relationship. Also might make Roach trans here cause KAJDJFNCNNF WEREWOLF SOAP EATING HIM OUT AHGGGGH

The NikPrice A/B/O Fic (Nikolai/Price)

Listen...I love a/b/o fics man, okay

Price is an unmated omega who's best friend just happens to be an unmated alpha. Some people would call that a recipe for disaster, but considering he and Nikolai only get to see each other on short visits or for work, neither of them have had to worry about their instincts taking over and forcing feelings (that may or may not already exist) to the surface. Or at least, that's what Price thought.

What he doesn't realize is that Nikolai doesn't exactly see things the same way. Everyone but Price can see that the Alpha has practically already claimed him. From checking Price for a mating bite when they meet up again, to throuroughly scenting the man, and even defending him against any overly interested Alpha's that are brave or stupid enough to get close to what obviously already belongs to someone.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) for Price, that pretending not to have feelings for his best friend is all going to come tumbling down with one poorly timed heat and one very very grabby alpha. Or how Price and Nikolai officially became mates. In my mind it takes place with a young Price and Nikolai, but could also work with their Canon selves.

The Horny NikPrice Au (Nikolai/Price)

Honestlu the a/b/o nikprice au could also be called this dnfnfnjfjf don't judge me okay I want to see Price get absolutely pounded by a strong Russian man leave me alone

The plot of this one is really simple tbh, Price and Nikolai meet and Nikolai decides right off the bat that he likes Price so he just kinda claims him as his own. Price has zero idea whats going on, but he's not going to question why his hot new Russian friend keeps shoving him against random objects to ravish him.

Aka Nikolai looks at Price and goes "dibs" and it takes Price way too long to realize he's in a relationship. Takes place over their entire relationship cause Nik never stops wanting him so-

Cartel! Rudy AU (Alejandro/Rodolfo)

Okay so like...Rudy isn't from Las Almas originally, but he visits the town once and likes it and decides he's going to take it over (like a true gay)

So Alejandro, the Colonel of the Vaqueros is chasing after Valeria and the cartel that has slowly taken over Las Almas. The city is suffering under the cartel's control, but Alejandro is determined to save the town and help out as much as he can. After one particularly bad run from the cartel that left several houses in ruins and people dead, Alejandro and his men go into town to help rebuild a bit.

When they get there, they keep hearing whispers about the "The sweet rich man" who is apparently helping with the rebuilding process and using some of his money to help with the process. Alejandro eventually meets him and he's absolutely blown away by the angelic man who introduces himself as Rodolfo Parra.

Rudy is completely taken by Alejandro and the two work side by side together for the rest of the day, subtly flirting until a sleek black sports car rolls up and a wealthy looking man steps out calling for Rudy. Rudy seems upset about leaving, but begrudgingly explains to Alejandro that the man is his husband and he has to go.

Alejandro is heart broken that Rudy is married, but he begins to see more and more of the man around Las Almas and every time he see's him he can't help but to flirt. He feels bad, but at the same time, Rodolfo certainly doesn't seem to be in a happy marriage, and he can't be too upset when he finally gets to taste the other man, pressing him up against the wall of a back alley to devour him before bringing him back to a hotel to ravish him.

As Alejandro and Rudy conduct their affair, Alejandro begins to become suspicious of Rodolfo's husband. The control of the cartel in the area is shifting, a new power coming into play thats seemed to coincide with Rodolfo and his husband's arrival in the town. Of course, like everyone else, Alejandro suspects Rudy's husband, none the wiser to the fact that the marriage between Rudy and his "husband" is nothing more than a smoke screen to hide the true person behind taking control of the local cartel.

This is long but basically Alejandro is so in love with Rodolfo that he completely misses that his new boyfriend is actually the head of the cartel lmao

Prostitute! Roach (Makarov/Roach) (Roach/Ghost)

It says its Makarov/Roach on the tin, but later down the line it becomes GhostRoach

Essentially Roach is a prostitute working under Valeria when the cartel decides to strike a deal with the Ultranationalists. Makarov and Yuri come down to Las Almas to work out the deal and Makarov is offered a night with one of Valeria's people free. He chooses Roach and very quickly gets addicted to the younger man, stupidly falling in love with a prostitute.

He eventually essentially "buys" Roach from Valeria and brings him back to Russia with him where Roach becomes even more important to him. Roach is essentially the most important person in Makarov's life and he would die and kill for the man, something he proves over and over. It's mostly fine, because none of his enemies know about it.

That is until Yuri betrays him and he tries and fails to kill the man. Yuri joins the 141 and, when the team are trying to find something they can use against Makarov, he suggests Roach. This prompts the 141 to essentially kidnap Roach who they place under the protection of Ghost until they've gotten what they wanted from Makarov.

Ghost and Roach fall for each other during this time (for various reasons) and it becomes a ghostroach story as the 141 try to take down Makarov and Makarov tries to get Roach back all while Roach is torn between his feelings for a terrorist and his feelings for Ghost.

The Pirate AU (Ghost/Roach/Soap)

Self indulgence in an au because I put Roach in dresses and let him get railed lmao (also might make him a trans man here too for the fun of it cause whats better than letting a little trans guy get railed on a pirate ship)

Ghost and Soap are the most fearsome pirates on the seas, known for robbing and pillaging any merchant ships that they set their eyes on. Kidnapping, ransoms, robbery, and just general high seas hijinks are normal for them, and any person setting out on the Sea knows that if you see their flag flying high, the only thing you can do is turn away and hope you escaped their notice.

Roach is the son of a wealthy aristocrat who is being sent to join one of his uncles for the summer. Unfortunately that means crossing the sea. He's sent with several guards surrounding him, but unfortunately guards mean nothing to Soap and Ghost when they spot a wealthy aristocrats ship. So the ship starts getting attacked and boarded.

The Captain, in an attempt to keep Roach from getting kidnapped, dresses him up as a woman, hoping it will keep Ghost and Soap from recognizing and taking him. What they don't expect is for Soap and Ghost to not care that they don't recognize Roach, because they can tell that the "woman" they're looking at is an aristocrat and they know they can just get the name of the family from one of the men/the ship. So they kidnap Roach anyways.

Now Roach is stuck on a ship with two really hot pirates who are definitely going to realize that he isn't a woman sooner or later (sooner lmao) and when they do, well who knows what they'll make him do? (They're gonna fuck him sjfjdjjdjfjf)

Anyways then Roach falls in love with life at sea and doesn't want to go home, even when his family pays the ransom which results in some angst because Soap and Ghost think that the best thing/ what he wants is to go home even though they're all in love so they send him home.

Then later they come back and kidnap him again lol

The Camboy/YouTube AU

You guys might be picking up on the horny nature of many of these AUs sjfjfjjfnfhfhfjhfh

Soap and Ghost are a super popular couples channel on YouTube. They're known for their fun dynamic of Emo + Sunshine and just generally how in love they are. Everyone knows them, including one dear fan of theirs, Roach. Roach watches them because he thinks they're fun and he has a fat fucking crush on both of them.

Roach himself is a gaming youtuber known for playing fps games (he plays call of duty guys), but beyond that he's also known for his NSFW content that he started for fun self confidence stuff. He posts pictures and videos, but also essentially does camboy work because he's grown fond of it and the money he makes from it is nothing to sneeze at.

During one of his streams he starts getting a shit ton of donations and like requests from this one account who are dropping like insane amounts of money on him. That same account also shows up in his gaming streams to start donating a shit ton of money too.

Anyways he doesn't know that the account is actually Soap and Ghost who found him randomly one night but now they're accidentally kinda falling for him and accidentally essentially becoming his sugar daddies.

This also has some jealousy and some Roach/Jackson cause Jackson is his bff who streams with him and also occasionally joins him on his nsfw streams/content

Yeah uhhhh I have no excuse for this one ajdbbdbdjdjdj

Some Quick Notes On Requests:

Feel free to request any of these au's and any ship with these au's!

The main ship for the au is listed in the parentheses, however just because that is the ship doesn't mean you can't request others/non-canon ships within the au

So let's say you like the Monster Au but want to see like Roach/Gaz instead of Roach/Soap/Ghost, feel free to request it! I'm more than willing to write non-canon within these au's

All of these Au's can be requested for either fluff, something spicier, or somewhere in the middle (think like what the Ultranationalist Roach Au or Anima Au has been thus far), as well as angst

If I add more AU's, they'll be added to this list, but they'll be posted about separately as well so people can see about them!

Ships I Won't Write:

Gaz/Alex - I'm sorry I just don't ship them enough to write them :/

Konig/Soap/Ghost - I don't have a problem with this ship, its just not for me, probably because I'm not really about Konig like that

Price/Graves - I'm sorry its just not for me, I really can't figure out a dynamic between these two that wouldn't be Price literally looking at him like 😒🤢 because Graves is just like that sbdjfjhfjf. Not saying its a bad ship, its just not for me.

Ships I will Tentatively Write For:

Soap/Ghost - They will get moved to my won't write list if they start taking over my ask box. I like them together, but I also have beef with some of their fans (fellow Roach stans get me 😔) and generally speaking I like their dynamic better when Roach is involved

Konig/Roach or Konig/Roach/Ghost/Soap - both are fine, however I'm still not super confident in how I write Konig with like anyone other than Horangi, so be aware it may not turn out right

Ships I will Absolutely Write For:

Any form of Ghost/Roach, Roach/Soap, Ghost/Roach/Soap

Roach x Anyone really

Price x Anyone (minus Graves obvi)

Really anything else you guys can think of probably dbfbfjjfjf

#gary roach sanderson #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #alejandro vargas #rodolfo parra #ghostroach #ghostroachsoap #alerudy #nikprice #soaproach #soapghost #ghost x roach #soap x roach #ghost x soap #thoughts with luke #you asked luke #call of duty

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knightyoomyoui · 1 year

Text

The 1% Of Chances | TWICE Jeongyeon x Male Reader Fanfic: CHAPTER 5

After a couple of months of hiatus due to my phone's unfortunate malfunction, we're back on the track! Finally got my whole plot outline for this book recovered, so might as well work ahead already for a new update!

The next day, your departure with the girls and the managing staff quite took a hold when Dahyun suddenly shouted just as when everyone are about to walk out of the dorm.

"W-wait!"

You who is standing near to Dahyun was the first one to face yourself at her who is scrambling through her bag.

"Is there a problem, Dahyunnie?", you asked her with concern.

"M-my customized airbuds. I can't find it here.", Dahyun said as she still kept on digging down through her belongings inside.

"Wait for us guys!", you shouted for the rest who are on their way to the elevator.

"Why, what happened?", one of our senior and higher ups in our team who is handling Tzuyu named Tendo asked you curiously. He was the one also to press the door open.

"Dahyun lost her earbuds.", he said as you looked back on Dahyun who is now flicking her head back and forth trying to guess where could it have been. The girls heard what you said.

"Weren't you using it yesterday, unnie?", Tzuyu said; approaching the confused Dahyun. She can see what Dahyun has been doing yesterday since after all, they are dormmates.

"N-no, I was using my earphone rather."

"Are you gonna use that today, unnie? Just use your earphones instead.", one of her another dormmate and her "bro" Chaeyoung suggested.

"I will but you know that earbuds are special to me guys right? It's our customized design imprinted on there plus I made it for our Japan merch.", Dahyun explained the real downside of losing that object.

The girls nodded and "oh"-ed in guilt, knowing that they forgot to think of that part.

"Have you perhaps... remember where did you last placed those?", you asked Dahyun.

"N-no...", she shook her head.

"Guys!!! We have to go now. Time is running!", Sadness reaalarmed everyone, pointing down on her watch. "Cmon, Dahyunnie. You can find it later, okay? Today's a heavy schedule for all of you girls.", she persuaded.

They began entering the elevator by group. You looked at Dahyun's frown and felt bad for this girl. It can be replaced by buying again but the thought that it wasn't broken yet and only missing is just too waste to hear if it'll end up just being let go without even trying something for it to recover.

That positive mindset had you enlightened with another idea to help Dahyun.

At the very last second, you looked at them and shouted.

"Go ahead, I'll just take Dahyun myself there!"

"Wait, what? YN-"

"JUST GO! WE'LL TRY TO FIND IT FIRST!", you urged them to proceed as you interrupted Sadness's protest. The elevator doors closed, leaving only you and Dahyun alone.

"Oppa, you didn't have to do that.", she looks at you worriedly.

"Don't bother, Dahyunnie. I don't want you to go to work like this, so I'm helping you to find it but we'll be really quick okay?", you assured her. Dahyun stared at you for more until she gave up with a nod.

"Okay."

You smiled in relief. "Okay. Well, I just think of... where are the places you've been at the whole day yesterday?"

Dahyun shuffles and revisited all of what she did yesterday then started enumerating it. "Well yesterday it was my day-off. I just took a rest here in the house. Did laundry, took bath, read some books, skin care, practice dancing then I played piano after-"

"Wait stop.", you gestured her by showing her your palm. "Let's try going in your private studio."

Dahyun didn't spoke and instead followed you from behind as you entered the dorm then went straight to the room.

You looked around and you didn't had to duck on some narrow spaces and search for it through some closed containers when you definitely had your eyes locked on it.

Walking forward, you stepped in front of the piano. There, you smiled at the sight of her two earbuds unmovable on top of her piano.

Dahyun saw it too and gasped, quickly taking the things in her hand.

"Oh my God, finally.", she sighed and opened her hand, showing her customized cloud designed earbuds of hers. "H-how did you know oppa?!"

You chuckled and shrugged. "It's just simple anyway. I tried to analyze what would you like be if your earbuds would be involved in those areas you listed along what what you did there."

"You don't usually play music while you're doing chores as what Jeongyeon told me, so I crossed out the laundry. If you'll gonna listen to music while taking a bath then ofcourse you will be using speakers rather so no bathroom either.", you elaborated to Dahyun as you count it with your fingers.

"Skin care, nah. Reading a book? Definitely a no. You don't like being disturbed, Chaeng told me that she was once had you annoyed when she just barged in on your bedroom without granting permission and you were literally reading a book at that time. That left me with the last option- that private studio you girls had. Using your earbuds there can be applied while you're dancing and playing a piano there so, yeah."

Dahyun just blinked her enlargened eyes unbelievably as you finished your entire narration of review through all of what she just shared to you from your key question.

You laughed at the stunned reaction of Dahyun clearly obvious at the impression you made at the idol.

"I-Wha-How... DID THEY REALLY-", Dahyun stuttered, unable to process clearly how did you managed to take all of those interesting infos about her.

"HAHAHAHAHAHHA yeah. Those were part of the mini stories they shared with me in our get along together times whenever they're not doing something and we'll just end up talking randomly about everything.", you laughed.

"I really thought I was the one who told you about that... or even you've seen me through all of that.", Dahyun touched her chest in surprise. "You sounded like a stalker for a moment there, oppa."

"Yeah I can tell.", you sniffled another laugh. "But you can ask the girls, especially Chae and Jeongie. They'll make you know."

Dahyun nodded. "Well, I don't need to do that anymore. I know you ain't like that oppa. But I hope you really don't because as our manager and our friend, I trust you already. Even the girls do too.", she said to you hopefully.

"If that so, then I really don't have intention to spy on you girls and end up breaking into your privacy. You girls forgot one more thing from me. I don't just have trust also for you girls: I bring respect."

You and Dahyun exchanged smiles at each other before you gave a pat on her shoulder. "Let's go, they must be in the middle of the road now. We have to follow them right away.", you said to her as you make your way out of the dorm again with her.

----------

Arriving in JYP Entertainment building, you and Dahyun entered the Michael Jackson dance practice room where the members are doing their respective things while waiting for one of their member who thankfully had shortened their wait as they saw her thanking you again for the drive, greeting their choreographer and placing her bag onto the couch.

As they began their schedule by doing warm-ups, you decided to stroll around the building with the managing staff; Tendo, Sadness, Pinky and the rest of the crew.

Returning back to the room after hours of allowing them to maintain focus on rehearsing their dance choreography for their upcoming lead track of their new album, Jihyo was just in time to announce the break on the girls.

Jeongyeon, who is one of the only girls who walked out together with Nayeon, Jihyo, Dahyun and Chaeyoung as she told you to join her receiving her ordered food from online by meeting the delivery guy outside of the building.

As you and her reached the lobby, Jeongyeon was still busy tracking the location of the rider on her phone when you saw the familiar idol entering the area and walking at the direction towards you and Jeongyeon with all smiles alongside with his own manager.

"Jeongyeon-ah!", he called Jeongyeon after recognizing her quickly when she looked at you and told you that the rider finally arrived based on the notification popped out on the screen.

"Oh! Young K!", she waved her hand gracefully. Your face shuddered in awkwardness and distrought, having yourself inserted again in the midst of interaction between these two that were giving you strange feelings difficult to get rid of.

"Good morning! What's your sched today? Are the girls with you right now or just you?", he asked. Seems like they about to brought theirselves into their small talk against without bothering to notice your presence around near them so you just did what you usually do in respect and shame for them: stay still and shut up.

"Good morning! A-ahh... yeah. They're with me today. We're having our break as of now from our dance practice.", Jeongyeon answered with a grin. "How about you, oppa?"

"Well, I have to meet JYP nim today.", he answered. That made you look at him for a second because it kinda suprised you atleast. "I have a work... proposed by him that I definitely agreed on.", he smiled.

"Can you tell me about it?"

"An ongoing collab song. I'm going to be composing with him.", he proudly replied.

"Woahhh! Really?! Congrats, oppa! Can't wait to hear your song with JYP oppa!", Jeongyeom clapped celebratingly. It earned a soft laughter from her bestfriend... you weren't sure if that's the correct term to call him for Jeongyeon yet.

"I have to go now, Jeongie. PD nim might cancel our project if I make him mad for being late.", he joked. "Bye!"

"Bye oppa!" The two high fived. You just had to watched them do that without any rights to disturb or prevent them from talking happily with each other as your heart sunk inches by inches beneath seeing your crush acting suspiciously again with someone very close to her.

Meanwhile, two people were keeping an eye on you from the distance as they hid on the wall of the hallway leading to the right.

As they ended their convo, you directed Jeongyeon on the glass wall of the entranceway where the reflection of the Seoul exterior can be seen, including the motor that is parked on the side where it is owned by what it seems to be a delivery rider checking his phone to keep in touch with the customer.

"Jeong, I think that's yours.", you pointed assumingly to it. She followed where you're pertaining to and agreed after. "Looks like it is."

You were right. You exited the building with Jeongyeon and approached the rider where it was confirmed that the idol's ordered food is there with him. She claimed and paid it after, repaying gratitude towards one another before you helped her carry it and enter the place again with her.

Later in the night, the girls successfully finished arranging their entire choreo from begginning through the end as it was declared by their instructor.

"Good job everyone! Come back here at 10AM tomorrow okay? We will attempt to polish and familarize the moves now. Rest well ladies!", the instructor announced to the exhausted girls sitting and lying down on the wooden floor, now satisfied and relieved that the draining practice is over.

We all clapped in respect for the girls hardwork again which they returned with an appreciation and gratitude too along with a flashy, lively smile like the humble and wholehearted people they are.

As you opened my tablet and checked out their completed schedule today before you reviewed their upcoming ones tomorrow and days following by, Jeongyeon came to your side and brought her bag there to fix it on your side.

You looked at her and she smiled back, which definitely caused an uncontrollable flush and embarassment on your behalf, too weak and instable to contain her lovely looks.

"Oppa, please join me tomorrow at the mall after we left from practice.", she requested while shutting close her bag's zipper.

"Sure. Going shopping?", you gladly accepted accompanying her as if that's not a part of your job as her personal manager.

She nodded in response.

Standing up from your seat, you brought her back for assistance as you let her be with the girls while you joined your fellow managers walking down through the ground floor to reach the exit and go to the parking lot where your car and the company's van are kept.

During the ride, you heard something from them that won your interest; discreetly listening at the words they're mumbling at the back while you paused your task at your tablet.

"Agh, I'm so hungry. I'm craving for some bulgogi right now.", it was Jeongyeon expression her eagerness to taste some delicious famous Korean dish.

"Same unnie, should we order?", Tzuyu agreed and suggested.

"We'll just cook, I guess. I want it to have a homecooked taste also.", Jeongyeon declined.

You smirked as these poor girls gave you an idea to do for them tonight.

Reaching their apartment building, after a not so long drive; you escorted them to enter at Nayeon and Momo's dorm which you assumed that they are indeed serious to be the ones cooking their meal for tonight.

It was left abandoned though when you excused yourself to your roommates Tendo, Heungson and Yeongsu that you'll be back in the dorm for longer.

In their surprise, you entered their room too; and Jeongyeon and Momo who are about to wear their own aprons left their arms raised in their air as they watch you head to the kitchen with them.

"O-oppa, what are you still doing here?", Momo asked curiously. You just smiled and voluntarily removed the lace of their apron on their grasp before you hanged it back to where it was placed, leaving Jeongyeon, Momo and the rest clueless.

"Take a rest. I'll be the one cooking for tonight.", you smiled nicely at them.

Momo and Jeongyeon got shocked. "Thank you oppa!!!", they both went to you and hugged you on your side while the girls cheered and shared their own thank yous at you.

"Oppa, could you please do-"

"Beef bulgogi, right?", you interrupted Jeongyeon. She was left speechless and only able to nod with a fluttered state as she tightlipped her stucked words instead.

"Now go and rest. You girls shouldn't be doing this, all of you are tired enough already. Save some energy for tomorrow. Let me take control of the kitchen."

The girls all responded with a "Yes!" before they went on to rest in their own ways, watching TV, scrolling down on their phone, lay down on the couch and the carpeted floor as they let you move around in the kitchen, starting to work on cooking the preferred dinner of this night mostly by Jeongyeon.

You weren't even aware that your preoccupied self preparing the ingredients prevented you to notice repeated admiring glances of Jeongyeon's sparkling eyes to you. It had made her see you like truly a perfect boyfriend/ husband material from her sight.

Minutes have passed, you ordered them to gather around the table. The owners of the dorm, Nayeon and Momo helped you prepare the plates, spoons, forks and glass to be distributed for each of everyone present.

You transferred the bulgogi from the pan to three bowls before placing them on the tray and deliver it to the table, now presented in front of the girls who were left in awe at how mouth-watering its look and smell.

"Beef bulgogi, everyone.", you clapped your hands once; confidently showed your own cooked meal to the girls.

The girls cheered happily like little kids. It warmed your heart and soul as they sounded like they were your nine precious little daughters finally given granted by their loving father to cook their favorite food.

"Thank you so much, oppa!" The girls chanted again enthusiastically at you, except for one of them who sent her own in a unique manner.

Jeongyeon, who was next to you from the right, grabbed your wrist and pulled it a little closer to her, so that she can cuddle your arm and show you her melting smile and adorable greeting at you.

"Y-you're welcome, Jeongie.", you patted her on the head, earning a giggle from her which you huffed and sighed at how your heart must be beating so damn fast right now all solely because of this woman.

The rest who are witnessing this did a teaseful coughs and other sounds to portray that there's something interesting going on here. "What was that, Yoo Beep Beep huh?", Jihyo playfully asked which was effective to mnake Jeongyeon startle. "Yah I just hugged him because I really liked that she cooked us the food I've been craving since earlier. What are you thinking again, Hyomas?", Jeongyeon lets out her typical pouty duck lips. You glared at them and shook your head before defending your position. "Stop it, I know those antics girls."

"Somebody's defensive.", Sana winked and smirked at you which caused a laughter from all of you. Yes, even you who are getting teamed up here just to get linked closer with Jeongyeon as a tandem.

"If you do, can you tell us what do we mean by that?", Nayeon also smirked as she challenged you. Oh no, you got what she's trying to do. You quickly swapped it away and switched it with a different topic to escape. "Don't mind them oppa, they just love to misintepret and make fun of us again.", Jeongyeon encourages you to disregard and move on.

"Aish, let's just pray to get started. The food's about to be cold now.", you acted annoyed as you heard them still trying to contain their laughs. Jeongyeon on the other hand, was blushing like a tomato while find it hilarious on your part that you're getting targeted by these bunch of crackheads again.

After finishing the dinner, Dahyun and Chaeyoung who loves this specific household chore ever since back from their Twice Private Life rookie days ; are the ones who volunteered to wash the dishes.

Some of them began returning back to their respective rooms. You bid goodbye and goodnights at them for a sweet and peaceful sleep before also doing the same, opening the door and putting one foot out of the doorframe...

... not until in your utter astonishment, a pair of hands from the unknown groped your shoulders from behind and pulled you with force; which avoided you to leave the room for good.

#twicejeongyeon #twicejeongyeonfanfic #twicejeongyeonau #twicejeongyeonmalereader #twicejeongyeonmreader #twice #twicefanfic #twiceau #jeongyeon #twicexreader #kpopfanfic #kpopau #the1%ofchances

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allyriadayne · 4 months

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Where do you stand on Rhaegar and Lyanna?

whew! saying where do i "stand" is pretty compromising esp when it's about one of the most if not thee controversial issue of asoiaf. my stand is not solid, but i used to be pretty straightforward about it: i hated it. rhaegar humiliated elia, he kidnapped 15 yo lyanna and forced her to have his child alone and away from her family. there was nothing romantic about it and to this day i really don't like the r + l = j theory even if i know it's true.

the thing is, i haven't read the books in years but i've been able to look at the story from other angles in the years since and while i don't hate it anymore (i never blamed lyanna i always hated rhaegar lol) i still think it's not as romantic as people think. it IS capital R Romantic, because yeah, it has everything, the romance and the tragedy but to me it's not some deep great love between the characters.

it's my opinion both rhaegar and lyanna used the other. from lyanna's pov rhaegar is a hero from the songs coming to save her from robert (lyanna cried for rhaegar's son, she def thought of him well). he might have told her about the prophecy and convinced her it was best to leave everyone for a little while, but to her leaving robert and reappearing later as ruined was what she wanted, just a way to escape forever from both him and her father. maybe she though she could later live with ned or benjen. and well, everything got out of control and i think she was incredibly lonely in the toj and disillusioned by the end. as for rhaegar, lyanna was a means to an end. i do think he admired her valour while in harrenhal and might have thought she would understand or at least go along with the prophecy esp bc she was of the north and knew the legends. he put all his affairs in order and left, but like i said everything must have gone out of control pretty soon that he had to leave her alone, same as with elia and the kids. to me rhaegar stopped caring about his reputation and what people thought of him a long time ago, esp when he could've gone into the mindset that nothing mattered when he or aegon had to save the world soon.

my stand is that it's tragic, it's sad. i don't see it as a romance. i see it as two people wanting to find something in the other and utterly losing control of the situation. it might be romantic to some! but in this particular instance, it's not to me because it fits perfectly with the deconstruction of the Romantic tropes germ plays with: the knight is not chivalrous, the beautiful lady is not gentle, the lovers from legend were not in love. it's there with lyanna birthing a child when rhaegar has been death for weeks and she's dying. here's the culmination of the prophecy and of all the targaryen dynasty and he's a bastard. he'll never know his name, he'll never know why his parents did all that and he probably will never want the whole of his legacy.

thanks for reading!

#ask #Anonymous #i don't hate rhaegar now it's fine btw i understand him better but he's not my fave #i think the same of rhaegar. he's a tragic figure to me. a pale ghost of his dynasty. having to become a warrior for a prophecy. did he eve #want to do all that? i feel like he was just following the steps #i know he was apparently obsessed with it but it's not the same as liking #rhaegar targaryen #lyanna stark #valyrianscrolls

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veraoli · 1 year

Text

How will your 2023 be? Pick a card reading

Choose a pile that you feel drawn to and scroll down to the chosen pile. Let me know if you want a part 2! 🥰

1st pile: three of pentacles rx, eight of wands rx, four of swords rx, ace of swords rx✨ This year, you are going to have issues regarding work (either at school or with your job). Your lack of motivation, isolation and negative mind will be the reason for your stress and delays in either school or at work. You could also need help but not know how or want to reach out for it. You could isolate yourself and cause arguments with people near you out of your current state of mind. Be wary of this tendancy and remember, it’s ok to ask other people for help! There are a lot of people that would want to help you out, and get you in the right direction, if you would just ask! You are not stupid, everyone needs help sometimes in their lives ❤️

2nd pile: king of cups rx, page of pentacles, seven of cups rx, two of wands✨ This year, it’s time to make choices! It looks like you will be having two paths to choose from and you will have to make a choice. You might not really know what to choose. It could mean moving or traveling for a work or education opportunity. You might be sad and feel like you are losing something by leaving for this other opportunity. You might be too comfortable in where you are now and This might be the problem. You need to go out of your comfort zone and be ready to risk it if you want to succeed. There is also a chance that if you don’t go out and get this opportunity that you will regret it and be stuck in a bad work or school situation that will just make you unhappy in the long run😭

3rd pile: Queen of cups rx, four of pentacles rx, the wheel of fortune rx, justice rx✨ Girl, this year might be a harsh lesson for you guys. I feel like you love very hard but you could be dependant on other people to the point that you do things for others in a way that’s destructive for you. You need to watch out for the tendancy to give away your all to people just because you love them. You especially do this in love i feel. This can backfire and make you lose a lot in the end. You could even put yourself in financial issues if you don’t watch this tendancy. You could lose so much that you start thinking that life is unfair or that ”God” hates you. And I think this is the wrong mindset. Because while bad things do happen to you, you still have choices. You don’t have to give your all to people just because you love them. Not everyone deserves your love. You need to start investing in yourself this year. Stop doing so much for other people and start doing those things for yourself. If people only value you if you bend backwards for everyone, then they aren’t really worth having in your life. Be ok with losing these things and people. Things you lose, only make place for better things and people to enter, remember that! 💕

4th pile: five of cups rx, ace of cups, the world, the star rx✨ I feel like you have just come out of a relationship or you will in 2023. This relationship was a disappointment for you and you are starting to move on. You could find new, REAL love if you really focus on healing. If not, you could find something good only to ruin it with toxic behaviors that you've learnt from the past or suddenly ghost potential interests and go back to your ex. This will only put you back to square one. You need to be done with the old if you want new and better things. Because I feel there’s a huge risk of moving on to the next pretty quickly and realizing you haven’t healed afterwards. Yes, it is time to be single and ready to mingle. But ONLY, when you have healed and feel done with the past relationship. This will save you a lot of trouble! 🙏🏼

5th pile: the hanged man, the tower rx, the empress, the chariot✨ This year, will be the biggest lesson for you. With all of these major arcana cards, it means that this is a year that will be felt strongly by you. I do see that you are a person that likes to stay in your comfort zone and almost waits for life to happen to you. Think about a person that kind of sits inside all day and then wonders why they have such a boring life and no friends. Basically someone that is just waiting around for the perfect moment to do things and not realizing that time flies and that there is no such thing as a "perfect moment" because life will never be perfect. This mindset is something you need to change this year. With the tower reversed it seems like you will have a hard time changing this behavior/mindset but it Will be needed this year. Something tells me you do have a goal or a dream that you would like to achieve. But you are waiting and waiting and waiting. What are you waiting for? Start doing things NOW! Things don’t have to be perfect for you to start chasing your dreams. Start nurturing the small projects you have laying around. So whatever it is, do it. There is a lot of success waiting if you do so.

#tarot cards #tarotcommunity #tarot deck #tarotdaily #free tarot #pick a pile #pick a card reading #tarottribe #tarotscope #taroteverydamnday #tarot #astrology blog #astro notes #relationship astrology #astrology #divination #tarot reading

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solarwonux · 9 months

Text

I just need to get something small of my chest.

I think I have a crush on someone. He’s a friend of a friend, which by default I think makes him my friend as well because we’ve hung out so many times. Lolol the first time he met me was on my birthday at a club and I was drunk.

Anyway the last two days we have all been hanging out together because my friend is leaving Korea (I’m really sad about it) but yeah I think I have a crush on our friend. Tbh he’s not conventionally attractive which is completely fine but he is good looking and I do enjoy his company whenever we hang out. And yesterday I noticed that the entire time we were all together the two of us would just be talking on our own a different conversation from everyone else. Idk though bc sometimes it can get a little awkward bc I think the two of us are just a little introverted. But today we went to the river and we rarely talked bc my friend sat in between us.

Though when we were all walking back to the station there was a point in which the two of us were just walking side by side, while everyone walked ahead of us. Also sometimes he will like my Instagram stories of me dancing. But I guess now I’m a little sad bc I’m afraid that we won’t continue to hang out after my friend is gone. I LITERALLY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO SOMEONE SEND HELP.

Bro I actually fucking hate having a crush on someone. Or idk if I have a crush on him. Ugh, and also I’m like really afraid of getting into a relationship after what happened to me last year. But also I think I trust him he’s always been very kind to me and I like his mindset too. UGH UGH UGH UGH

THATS all good night see you all on Tuesday for Business Proposal part 6

#Laura rants #i will probably delete this tomorrow #also I can’t skip my therapy appointment this week lolol

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alottamoney · 5 months

Note

Hey @perfectpoetryfest

I am that anon and I'll definitely remain anonymous coz I don't want a deranged jikkr like yourself coming anywhere near my blog.

I already said that this dumb thing doesn't matter to me at all but since you all have been coming to our blogs with these pics I thought I'll just let you know that those two aren't sitting together. Repeating this is making me feel dumb coz how is this so triggering for you that you've left 10+ comments arguing with admin??

I said that they aren't sitting together bcs jk's pic, which is clearer than that really blurry pic, where you all have pointed to a person who has a paper infront of his face as jk. The people surrounding jk are different than the ones sorrounding jm and that sheet for face person. Those were my only observations coz that's the most that you can observe from that microwave quality pic.

Didn't we get that very clear 59 and 60 pic yesterday? They are standing together in it and no one's denying it coz it's clear. They have enlisted together in a place where they know no one, it's only been 10 days, they are obviously going to stick together. I had already said this but you seem to have gotten stuck on the not sitting together part.

You didn't answer the admin's question as to why this is so important to you. Can you please answer this instead of skirting the que and asking a counter question? Why is this dumb thing so imp to you jikkrs that you are roaming around arguing with people over this? Everyone there is sitting with someone else, does that somehow prove that they are dating?

This is only the first batch of pics though. I am sure there will be more, clearer ones. You should put a hold on the gloating till then, although I will never understand what in these pics is even worth gloating about, even if they were sitting together these wouldn't even have been mid imo.

It's not like I don't know that tkkrs don't visit jikk blogs to gloat, we have our own set of shippers with similar mindset as you, we still have better things to gloat about. Speaking of pics worth gloating, did you not see that very clear tkk strip from jk's listening party? It was thankfully posted by jm first or your side would've jumped on the "tae is attention seeker" bandwagon again. Or that shirtless facetime one?

Did you not hear that jk wanted to join sdt as well? Said so himself with a very sad expression btw. Or that he sings "love songs" for tae? Or that he went out with not just tae but even his close friends? Goes on trips with tae(that pic where tae said they dressed each other) and his friends, that snowboarding one. He doesn't even need bh camera crew for those trips. You all desperately tried to paint that July sighting as a lover's retreat when we were pointing out at the clear presence of cameras and mics and it really turned out to be bh content after all.

Did you not watch that last bb? He wasn't even aware that jm still hadn't shaved his head. Now that's not very coupley of them is it?

This whole solo era has given us so many offcam (talking about bh cams here) interactions that tkkrs have made a whole calender out of them while jk and jm barely interacted for two mins outside of official setup. Your ship is nothing without bh. It was created by BH, is being relentlessly promoted by them and will def end the day they leave bh coz they were nowhere near each other without cameras the entire solo era . Jk even shared his solo with tae first.

Also, stop romanticising their military service ffs. Use some logic while thinking about this, I know it's a foreign concept to a lot of jikkrs but try for once. No queer couple in their right minds would want to go together in such an extremely homophobic place. Do you think a couple whose relationship is that old will be able to hide it for 18 months when being from BTS has already put a spotlight on them?

Wow I wrote quite a lot here huh 😳. perfectpoetryfest please do read it all. I am a 100% sure that you will not agree with anything I said here but atleast I am writing about tkk on a tkk blog, what are you jikkrs trying to do here anyways?

Oh boy. They're currently occupied but I'm sure they'll get to you, anon. You're also gonna have to take responsibility for the incoming deranged rants. lol

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