Be My Last - Iwaizumi x  Reader (Pt. 2)

Summary: You have trouble getting over a past relationship and it’s preventing you from moving forward. (~2.3k words)

Warnings: nsfw, poor communication tbh, angst?

A/N: There’s always trouble in paradise.... 

So I haven’t written a plot-heavy fic in a while. Anyway, I hope this is as dramatic as I intended it to be but not excessive.

Part 1|| Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5

---

Your phone vibrated loudly, nearly falling off the edge of your office desk but before checking the text, you were already scooping your personal items into your messenger bag and rising to leave the office.

Iwa had intended to meet you after work to grab dinner together before going home, and you quickly glanced at your phone to confirm his arrival while you made your way down multiple flights of stairs (turns out having an athletic trainer as a boyfriend made you a lot more fitness-conscious) to meet him in front of the large skyscraper.

You met him only slightly out of breath, hoping he hadn’t waited long, and he grinned as he saw you, arms uncrossing to take your bag from you and greet you with a kiss on the forehead.

“How was today? More good news?” You inquired cheerfully, linking your arm around his tightly as you started walking. He hummed, his pace still leisurely and his other hand casually resting in his pocket in mock humility.  

“What, I haven’t impressed you enough?” He teased with a laugh, earning him a playful slap on the shoulder. Learning that he was going to be head athletic trainer for the Japan National Volleyball Team just last week was still fresh, and while you were excited for him, you were a tiny bit apprehensive about how much it would change his schedule. Even though he was already quite busy, you’d gotten used to Iwa’s schedule being predictable and being home every night, especially once he’d moved in with you about a year into your relationship.

While this new position was the biggest event on the horizon, quite a lot had changed since you’d met Hajime and lowered your emotional defenses to let him in, and that simple fact was evident by the way your hand unconsciously snaked down the length of his arm to interlace your fingers with him, as you continued to tell each other about your days.

He’d always impressed you from the very moment you met him. His confidence, his pure kindness and his genuine love for you were only a few of the things that made you love him wholeheartedly. The only regret that you had these days was that you hadn’t met him sooner, or rather, first.

Now, back in the quiet of the apartment you’d lived in for almost four years now, you and Iwa were locked in an embrace shrouded by the steam of an excessively warm shower. Despite the fact that you felt heavy with a generous dinner, the current somewhat pleasant turning of your stomach had more to do with the expert way Iwa’s fingers worked your center without compromising attention to your lips and tongue.

Soft moans of his name earned you the privilege of being gently lifted and pressed back against the shower tile, to leverage you steadily against the pressure of his heavy cock pushing past your walls into you as many times before. 

He always knew where to touch and what to fill. 

It occurred to you again as he coaxed one orgasm then another out of you with firmly delivered strokes, aided by the slick coming from your legs and the water that ran over the two of you, that you loved him. Fully and without reservation.

Especially when he pulled back to look at your flustered, wanting face, slightly tilted upwards to look at him with eyes enamored, your body fitting him like a glove, and you could practically see his heart swell.

A reckless, all-encompassing sort of love.

---

“This is… a lot of food,” your friend pointed out with raised eyebrows as she watched you toss possibly a 15th packet of thinly sliced marbled beef for shabu shabu in your cart before moving along to the condiment section. You were grateful that she was accompanying you on this errand because even though you enjoyed grocery shopping, it seemed like you’d been here for a lot longer than you expected and you weren’t too familiar with most of the ingredients on the long grocery list you’d brought with you.

Besides, the cart was overfilled and you felt that eventually you’d need two hands to push it.

“Iwa wants to invite I don’t know even know how many hungry athletes into our tiny apartment, so I’m just trying to be prepared,” you shrugged.

“By buying the entire butcher shop?”

“Yes.”

“He better be paying at least, this looks expensive,” she murmured, only to open her mouth in a teasing ‘O’ once you flashed Iwa’s credit card in her face with a grin.

Amused, she tossed a pack of vermicelli noodles in the cart then let out a loud, wistful sigh before leaning on the shopping cart handle. You frowned in response, knowing exactly what that sound entailed. 

“So when did Oikawa say he’d be back?”

She let out an aggravated groan. “Not for months and then by the time the Olympics start, he’ll be even more busy… This shit is so annoying, to be honest. It’s like he’s never off season!”

You tiptoed to reach a highly placed bottle of shoyu and another of rice vinegar and drop it in your cart. You sympathized with her frustration, you had known intimately once what it was like to be made second priority, even if that wasn’t your life now.

“At least you know he would still choose you over volleyball, no matter how much he loves it,” you reassured her.

You had said the statement without any deeper intended meaning, but when you turned your friend was still eyeing you carefully, concern written in her knit eyebrows.

“What?”

“Nothing,” she replied, deciding to drop it. But two paces later, she paused to a standstill, and asked, “Do you know exactly who Iwa is inviting over?”

You shrugged your shoulders again. “Honestly, I don’t care, it’s not like I follow sports anymore.”

To that, she replied with a soft hum of assent before choosing to talk about dessert instead.

---

Seated at a corner table at the small coffee shop at the base of his hotel, Ushijima Wakatoshi looked carefully at the email invitation, noting the address more carefully this time, a wash of unsettling nostalgia rushing over him.

You wouldn’t notice it from the neutral expression on his face, but ever since he had made it back to this side of Tokyo, the concern of going back in time and revisiting old mistakes weighed heavy on his mind. Of course, he was excited about his new accolades and the opportunity to represent his country nationally, but with few people to share that news with, the reminder of what he had sacrificed to get here seemed less like a badge of honor and more like a condemnation. 

For someone who insisted on moving forward, no matter what the pace or price, this was a particularly unwelcome feeling. 

And of course, this sentiment was made way worse when it occurred to him that he was being invited to his old home as a guest. Well, he wasn’t exactly sure - while the apartment building itself was definitely the same one where he had lived so many years ago, he wasn’t completely sure whether or not the floor and suite number were the same. It would be an odd coincidence that Iwa lived there too now, but it was a nice apartment building after all, so he assumed it must be a popular place to live.

Still, he couldn’t help the mild uneasiness he felt at the prospect of turning up on that street.

What if by some unfortunate twist of fate, he ran into you? Whether in the lobby, sharing the elevator, maybe even in passing at the konbini where previously he’d surprise you with a custard taiyaki or melon bread to eat in the dead of night... What would he say? What could he say?

He had once practiced some silly assortments of words, many times ages ago when the ache in his heart for you became too much to bear and he thought maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t too selfish to ask to come back into your life. He would come up with ways to explain why he’d decided it was better to remove himself from your life altogether over putting aside more time for you, or to explain that he’d made the decision for both of you in order to free you to be loved properly by someone else. 

But the more time passed, the more ridiculous it seemed for him to try to ask you to forgive him for breaking your heart, and now three years had gone by. 

Was three years enough time for you to forgive him for ending things without explanation? Or for moving out of your apartment while you stayed over your best friend’s house for an entire weekend so that he wouldn’t see you cry?

Ushijima took another sip of his coffee. He was overthinking it; the similar address was just a happenstance. You had probably long since moved on from that apartment just like you’d moved on from him.

---

Paper plates, forks, knives and napkins were set aside on your living room table, and you’d cleaned out the patio to allow for more space on the thankfully warm spring evening. Iwa had rushed out with a kiss on the cheek to go get some ice after helping you set up everything, and now you were waiting, hotpot soup base boiling on the stove.

You’d finished just a half an hour before six, and you leaned over the kitchen counter to browse through your text messages. One had just popped up from your friend before you heard an early knock on the front door.

Surprised at the prospect of someone showing up early, you put down your phone and sauntered over, and without even checking the keyhole to see who was standing there, you swung open the door wide, cheerfully giving a warm “Welcome!”, only to find yourself staring your ex-boyfriend in the face.

There was a pause where it seemed like everything that kept your heart beating and your neurons firing had turned off for the split second it took you to recognize him. This was disregarding the fact that he too looked like all the blood had drained from his face when he also realized you were standing right before him. 

“___…,” he pronounced in shock.

The sound of his voice calling your name made your heart pound and your head pound and quickly, impulsively, you moved to slam the door.

Reflexively, he blocked it with his palm, not meaning it as aggression, but spurred by the fear of immediately being locked right back out of your life, where he belonged.

“Wait, can we please talk?”

The desperate tinge to his voice was too much to bear.

It had been three fucking years! Why now?

But instead of forcing the door closed against him again, you found yourself running into your bedroom and locking the door behind you, heart pounding in your ribcage in a frenzy. It was hard to think, maybe you were being a little bit too dramatic, but you couldn’t help the panic pumping through your veins.

Relax, relax, relax.

Ushijima, too, immediately forgot that this was no longer his home.

Even if he knew this place like the back of his hand, he recognized the same sofa in the center of the living room, where he’d held you and had you just like every other place in this wretched space, it was no longer his.

It didn’t stop him from breaching the entrance without your invitation, boldly following after you just to knock on the bedroom door that kept you safe and secure, begging for your attention.

“Please, ___. Please, can we talk?”

It didn’t take a genius to realize that he was in fact in the right place, this was his - no, your shared apartment - and traces of another man, Iwaizumi, were all over it.

Your voice was choked up in your throat but you weren’t yet crying, however you were terribly frustrated. Frustrated that three years after a breakup you were taking shelter in your own bedroom all because your ex showed up at your door. Frustrated that he wasn’t being mean, but instead he was being kind; in fact, you were worried there was a wisp of something more you could see in the pained look he had on first regard.

Too much.

Ushijima knocked again.

“Please.”

The correct thing to do would be to face him properly and ask him to take a seat and maybe if you were feeling extra generous, ask him how he was doing politely, limiting yourself to polite conversation, but instead you didn’t say a single word, biting your lip to hold back anger and hurt.

Three years and you were still like this.

“___!”

His voice raised this time, and again the desperation was clear and tugging at your heartstrings, but you would be damned if you were going to move from this spot. He didn’t bang on the door though - Ushijima always had too much self control to do anything fear-provoking out of anger, but he let out a heavy sigh you could hear directly from the other side of the door.

“I’m sorry-” 

Whatever he planned to say was cut short by the slam of the front door and Iwa’s harsh voice yelling, “What the fuck are you doing?”

Your eyes grew wide as you heard the shuffle of quick moving feet and the thud of bodies hitting the wall, and then you realized that what this looked like was way worse than it actually was.

You fumbled to unlock the door only to see Ushijima pressed against the wall, hands to his side but fists clenched as though he were deciding whether to fight back; you could tell Iwa had already landed a heavy blow from the red spot blooming on his face, and the fact that Iwa still had a solid grip on the collar of Ushijima’s shirt, his fist still dangerously close to his face.

“Hajime!” You yelled, pulling at his arm. “Stop!”

He resisted your plea for him to stop initially, and you could tell he was seething even if he was still. Who wouldn’t be, if they thought their girlfriend was being accosted in their own space?

“T-toshi wasn’t going to do anything… we’re exes.”

Exes?

Iwa gave you a blank look, taking in the info all at once, but what stunned him the most at this very instant was the painfully familiar way you’d said Ushijima’s name.

harukaozawa replied to your post “if you ever wonder where the hell i am, the answer is i am out living...”

Would definitely be interested in any fave recipes you have to share

OKAY THIS MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY :D

when i make anything with choux pastry i use this recipe. at first i would make eclairs bc they’re arguably prettier and seem fancier, but i prefer making cream puffs instead. rather than having an ugly crooked eclair, you get a cute little dollop!! and i’ll just use a star tip when piping to give it ~texture~ and add just a little bit to it. also it freezes very well after baked. i usually have a bag of pre-baked puffs in the freezer. when i need them, i just stick them in the oven for a few minutes so they can crisp up and then voila.

also this is going to sound douchey and i swear i’m not a snob, but i really do recommend mixing the eggs into your choux pastry by hand. and if you need a bit more egg than what your recipe calls for, then add it slowly. the recipe i use calls for four but sometimes the eggs are small or maybe i dried the flour clump out too much on the stove idk. but i’ve learned to just trust my instincts (obvs these must be developed) and drizzle in a bit more egg when necessary. and then if you have a bit of egg left over, you can egg wash (i never do that lol) or if you’re like me, eat scrambled eggs for dinner.

now for my pastry cream, i started off with this recipe. as a standard vanilla cream, it’s lovely! ngl i picked it bc it had the least amount of egg yolks required. some require like five yolks and that’s just too many egg white omelettes for dinner for me. 

anyway, i’ve since started playing around with that recipe as a base to make different flavours by infusing the milk at the beginning. when i want to make earl grey, i add maybe like three tea bags and let that sit when the milk is coming to a boil.

and then over the holidays, i was making peppermint bark but then my dumbass seized the freakin chocolate so i ended up with a clump of hard gritty minty chocolate. there’s not much to do with seized chocolate lol, but you can add it into something where it’ll be 100% melted. so in this case i added it to the milk!! um i added prob like 1/2 a cup of it and it made the cream a bit thicker. not that i’m complaining. but just saying.

i seized some chocolate like last weekend bc apparently i cannot do something as simple as melt chocolate. i’d like to try using that to make maybe a mocha filling? so i’ll just melt the chocolate when the milk is coming to a boiler with some instant coffee. 

i’ve been asked to bake earl grey cream puffs for my friend’s wedding. i was thinking of giving her a few flavours, one of which might be ube. one of my coworkers has already insisted on being my taste testers. my mom suggested using ube jam, but i think that might be a bit too strong, so i might make a basic pastry cream (sans the vanilla or maybe with just a dash?) and then mix the jam into that. idk i need to test this. fortunately the wedding is still in june. 

OKAY THAT WAS A LOT OF PARAGRAPHS ON CHOUX PASTRY.

these brown butter chocolate chip toffee cookies are delicious. i never have flaky sea salt on hand. also i’ve never made an effort to find it. i have shamelessly just used coarse. 

this is the almond biscotti recipe i’ve been using. i’m still trying to get all the bake times down properly. man do not cut the biscotti without a hefty first bake. it’s just a mess if the cookie is still too soft. i’m a dumbass. but i learned my lesson!

i like this macaron recipe bc it’s fairly foolproof and if anyone has ever made macarons before.....yeah. my first time was good. my second time they were chocolate and just ended up looking like little swirls of shit lol. they tasted good though!! but yeah i find with that recipe the cookies are always nice and chewy. i also find that they don’t really crack. rather, they stay true to the form that they went into the oven with. i’ve upped my egg white to about 75g, but i do want to see if adding some more will changed how it all turns out. 

ok so my mom loves cheese tarts and i love my mom for her birthday last year i got her half a dozen (that’s generally how they’re sold) from three different places and we kind of ranked them to pick our fave. love you uncle tetsu but i’m still sad that you closed your matcha store i loved those matcha madeleines so much. anyway, i made these tarts for the fam and everyone seemed to like it. i did find the filling to have a bit of a grainy texture. still delicious though. tbh i haven’t tried recreating them yet. my friends gave me a set of mini tart pans for christmas though so i’ll try again soon.

and madeleines!! ok plains ones are nice, but frankly i find them kind of lacking. my personal favourites are ones that have a good hint of lemon and some icing sugar dusted on top. i haven’t made them in a while, but i definitely have a phase. if you ever want to and you need to buy pans, i recommend not giving into the temptation of buying the baby sized ones where the madeleines are like the size of your thumb (prob smaller). they’re great, don’t get me wrong, but the i think the full sized ones are way better. also since they’re virtually little cakes, i have shamelessly put the mix into a greased muffin pan or tart pan lol. i ran out of space in my madeleines trays and wasn’t going to go through a second round of baking. my utilities yo.

and these chocolate cookies. a very simple recipe but somehow everyone i’ve ever fed them to absolutely loves them. they’re like brownies. also i’m a lazy fuck and will not be bothered with rolling out the dough and making shapes. i literally just make little balls, press my thumb into them, and then move on. and if i feel like making them pretty, i melt some chocolate, dip the cookies in that, then dip them in sprinkles.

AND TRES LECHES. i fucking LOVE tres leches cake. ok i don’t remember what recipe i use, but i want you to know i love it.

alright that’s all for now. if you made it to the end of this post, congratulations. 

The Exam

Best Music Moment of 2018:

Nasty: Hearing Red Eyes live. I've already said it on TBH, but seeing your favorite band in their relative prime is such a cool thing. 

BC: Since partying all night with my favorite band fell within the short window between Bestuv '17 ending and Bestuv '18 beginning, I'd have to say:

1. Kacey Musgrave's performance of "Slow Burn" on SNL

2. Radiohead perfectly executing "There There" which transported me back to Lollapalooza in '08 3. Despite the annoyance of sitting in lots of Indy500 traffic due to a new parking situation, I quite enjoyed working through half of the Stones' catalogue with Bronco riding shotgun and Codemin listening in from the flatbed of Dillon's pickup

Codem: Spending what was New Year's Eve for the central timezone in the USA at a Fijian medical bath facility listening to music, playing cards, downing tequeel and getting ringworm with my blushing bride. -hearing peter hook play the bass line from shadowplay live and in person. -Arden, JD and JJ encouraging me to go talk to Kyle from Swearin'. -Silver Jews and Westing (By Musket and Sextant) came to Spotify. -Watching "Random Rules" video for the first time

Larse: Sitting behind this massive (I mean orca fat) guy at the CHVRCHES show, feeling really bad for him before the show started because he was all alone and kept looking around and worrying about letting people in his row and things. As soon as CHVRCHES came on though, this guy was exactly where he was supposed to be that night. Sang the words and danced to every song and just made my day with how happy he was to be there. Jotted down every song of the setlist into his smartphone and just had an all around great time. And some of you motherfuckers won't even go to a movie by yourself!

JD: May: A moody Chinatown stroll with the new Grouper album in the rain. July: Soaking up some good tunes at the housewarming party to ring in our new pad. July: Some hilariously rambunctious youths having at it when “House of Jealous Lovers” came on during a full play of Compilation 1 at the DFA summer party. One of them (who must have been ~8 in the bygone days of 02) screamed out “this is the song that started it all!” to a crowd of stationary gawkers and I felt a brief moment of hope for the youngs. August: Shaking a leg at Pete’s wedding (also featuring a delightful hojl spin). September: A rowdy spin of “Sentient Oona” on the Levee juke with an impromptu digital jukebox dance party at the Turkey’s Nest with jj’s cousin and his lovely girlfriend. October: The best music cue I’ve ever seen at the end of Beau Travail.

Bronco: Taking John to his first concert, and that first concert was Mastodon. That was pretty awesome to be able to share that experience with him. He was super into it, and so were the metalheads at the show. "Dad of the Year" was definitely shouted more than a few times, and I thought to myself, "fuckin-A right."

Chap: My kids saying "Papa" when "She Drives Me Crazy" by Fine Young Cannibals comes on.

Best Shows Seen in 2018:

C: Open Mike Eagle at Pitchfork

Bronco: Sleep

Laser: CHVRCHES at Riverside Theater; Chromeo at Summerfest

BC: The Brian Jonestown Massacre, Radiohead

Nasty: The War on Drugs. 

Code: kraus - schubas peter hook - metro no age - the bottle swearin' - bowery eleanor friedberger - lincoln hall my bloody valentine - aragon "quickly climbing the ranks of my nice" ballroom kraus - the bottle pictureplane - bottom lounge soft moon - the bottle book of love - chop shop

JD: 1. Shame at Market Hotel 2. Hamilton Leithauser at the Carlyle Hotel 3. Beach House at United Palace Theater 4. The Voidz at Elsewhere 5. Parquet Courts’ Wide Awake! mid-day album release show with my morning coffee at Rough Trade

6. Flasher at St. Vitus 7. Deafheaven at Brooklyn Steel 8. Panda Bear at Brooklyn Steel 9. No Age at Brooklyn Bazaar 10. CCFX at the DFA summer party at Elsewhere with my girlfriend in full blown rem sleep standing up with her head on my shoulder 11. Alex Cameron at Warsaw 12. Gang Gang Dance and Interpol at House of Vans Of note: Dekkar at On Cinema Live at the Bell House.

Confession of 2018:

JD: I have a real TBH confession that I held until now. I was thoroughly enjoying the Flasher album on a recent evening after a few too many drinks when a burning urge to see them washed over me. They had a show coming up at a bar just a few blocks from my apartment, so I enthusiastically snapped up tickets for me and jj. Thinking this might be a good opportunity for a TBH outing, I emailed Chap trying to peer pressure him into attending the Flasher show and gauging his interest in a Parquet Courts concert that would be happening the following evening. No response.

We later received an invitation to a holiday cocktail party at a friend’s apartment on the same night as the Flasher show, and I hatched a cockamamie scheme to go from our home in Greenpoint to the party in Soho, leave after an hour to catch the concert back in Greenpoint, head back to the party in Soho, and finally retire back to Greenpoint. JJ wisely passed on such a scheme and I left the party to trek off to the concert solo with an extra ticket in tow. 

Awash in good cheer and excitement while Flasher set up, I thought what the hell, might as well take a flier on reminding Chap of the show. Maybe the twins are asleep, he’s just sitting around, can jump into a cab, claim the extra ticket, watch the show, and cruise on back. Mid-text I paused, wondering just why he never responded to the initial email weeks ago. A quick gmail search, and there sat my drunkenly composed beseechment to join, rotting in the drafts folder unsent. 

A couple of the dudes from Parquet Courts were bouncing around the bar, and I decided it would make more sense to hit up Chap about attending their show the next day than explain the whole snafu and extend a ludicrous invitation that required dropping everything and leaving immediately for a show he didn’t even know was happening. I ate the extra ticket, had a blast watching Flasher, zipped back to the party, drank myself into oblivion, and was way too hung over to even consider the Parquet Courts show the next day. NICK SORRY NICK! (editor’s note: too long)

Larson: I saw Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

BC: My neighbor invited me to see Imagine Dragons. I lied and said I had to travel for work. "On a Saturdee?" he inquired. "Yeah. Totally sucks," I awkwardly replied. I hid inside my house all weekend.

Bronco: I'd rather see shows by myself than with my buddy. He likes going to shows, and I keep inviting him, and we have a fine time, but he doesn't live in town anymore, so I gotta worry about him drinking too much and driving an hour home. And his wife is a psychopath and that complicates shit. Too much. And it's just so much more freeing being able to not give a fuck about anyone else during that time, to just soak it all in, it feels good and right.

Codem: -despite all of the bad things that kanye said, i still liked listening to his catalogue throughout the year. i even liked his EP that came out in 2018.   -i really liked the beach house album!   -i liked the snail mail album, skipped two opportunities to see her and then by --the end of the year, i thought the album was sort of boring.   -Arden and i went to see pictureplane open for alice glass and thought that the show sucked and pictureplane played such stupid songs. three months later, he put out my favorite album of the year and i can't stop thinking that i hated all of the same songs the first time i heard them. -i read an article on a bright fall saturday morning that exhaustively detailed the Cardi B and Nicki Minaj feud and i watched all of the instagram story clips that showed Cardi B scrolling through her phone with those outlandish nails of hers. it took me two cups of coffee to get through it all, but get through it i did. [i couldn't think of nicki minaj's name just now so i stared at the ceiling and kept running through names in my mind's eye: missy, kim, cardi, kelis, kim??, eve, trina. i couldn't remember. so i finally googled "kanye monster" and found her name. easy.]

Nasty: I'm done with new music. It’s over. I didn't listen to a single new album - I don't even know if I could name a new album. Realistically, I did like Daytona. 

Biggest Disappointment of 2018:

Nasty: MAGA Kanye

Larse: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

Bronco: Black Tusk, Alice in Chains

BC: Getting into The Orwells literally two days before #MeToo chewed 'em up and spit 'em out

Chap: Car Seat Headrest. Can't believe he's gay! jk the album was the disappointment.

Code: -somebody hacked my spotify account and wiped all of my music and replaced it with raggaeton and halsey. i was able to get my music back, but i lost all of my meticulously cared for folder structure. -i wanted the simple minds album to be cool; it was not.   -i wanted the swearin' album to be really great; it was okay. -pictureplane and ovlov did not tour their albums.   -i had to eat two tickets to my bloody valentine after buying four. the original show sold out and i thought i was going to be able to sell my extras for a profit -- they ended up announcing a second show and there was no secondary market for the original show.   -no CCFX followup ):  

JD: Got to Hammerstein Ballroom for MBV and there was a line longer than an entire avenue. They were already on by the time we made it into the heinously oversold venue and we were stuck by the bar in the lobby surrounded by people constantly shouting in an effort to compete with the apocalyptic noise.

C: Terrible sound at Tame Impala show

Most Overrated of 2018:

Code: -probably that kacey musgraves album; i got absolutely nothing out of it. also, i liked the robyn album, but i wanted to love it after many years between releases. i think i'm just being greedy.   -i'm going to get killed for this, but the throwing the baby out with the bathwater approach to artists' criminal behavior or inflammatory tweets is pretty overrated right now. 

Bronco: Ghost - I like their schtick, with rotating members and the whole inverted church thing. It's campy but they're sticking to it, and that's fine, but their music isn't metal. It's poppy glam shit about the devil, and that's also fine, but I don't get why it's on anyone's list. Production value maybe? But the music itself isn't anything to write home about. I just don't get it.

JD: n/a. The thick layer of nonsensical, Pynchonian obfuscation the platform economy dollops over everything has made it impossible to understand how anything is rated. Almost feel bad for the click driven publications that have to just throw out a guess.

C: Mitski

Chap: Snail Mail

BC: Kanye. His new music is no longer good enough to put up with his bufoonery.

Laser: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

Nasty: Clemson. GOARSH. 

Make It Stop 2018:

Nasty: DJT, anytime now. 

Bronco: Party politics. No more labels allowed. You can have a list of stuff you support and a list of stuff you are against, but that's fucking it. No more this side vs that side for reasons as caddy as an R vs. a D. Also religion having any influence whatsoever in the way our country is run. Believe whatever you want to believe, but don't force your bullshit on anyone else. You want to torment yourself with a lifelong christian guilt trip, that's your boat to float, but don't go poking holes in my boat just because you're a miserable fuck. Just stop. Also, Jack White.

Larse: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

Chap: Baby Shark

BC: My shrinking attention span

JD: The cultural currency of clapbacks, shade, and tea.

Code: trap music playing from a phone's external speaker while i'm trapped on public transportation.  i'm going to go broke buying enough earbuds to distribute to these offenders.

Biggest TBH Regret of 2018:

Larse: Timberlake at Fiserv Forum

C: Not seeing Low at a church on University of Chicago's Campus

JD: -Hearing about a Grouper show at a church around the corner from my pad after it sold out. -Not necessarily a regret because I didn’t know it was happening, but oh how I wish I had seen Jon Glaser and Jon Benjamin as Dave Farina and Dave Franz, Dennis and Dennis’ sons, at a Bowery Ballroom Yo La Tengo show.

BC: -I wish I would've cooked up a way to see Shame play a midnight show in Bloomington.  I just want that kid to scream "Concrete" in my face. -I probably should've seen Smashing Pumpkins when they rolled through town too. 

Code: my flight got delayed and i missed the swearin' show at that place in brooklyn that "smelled like hot fish"

Bronco: Not a regret so much as I was super-bummed when High on Fire dropped out of the tour I saw in November. The venue we were at put my buddy and I right next to the stage. It would've been crazy awesome to see HOF there, but they've rescheduled at least, and I'll see them in January.

Bin: I haven't listened to any Kanye this year. I thought it would feel gratifying by year end - it doesn't. I'll probably still avoid this most recent album, but I'm going back to the well. I'll continue to talk shit about him though. Take that Ye!

Chap: No regrets 

Detective Murtaugh of 2018:

Larse: Getting too old to keep up with all of this new music and put a worthwhile list together at the end of the year…

Nasty:

Code: i added book of love show to my top ten concert list because Arden and i were able to take a seat on the ground in the balcony section. we had to continually move our spot on the floor to be able to peer through the railing and a mass of bodies in order to catch a glimpse of the stage.

JD: -Two of my favorite music related experiences of the year were seeing Hamilton Leithauser in the cafe of the Carlyle Hotel and the extended Niles family in The Nutcracker at the NYC Ballet. -When I googled “Detective Murtaugh” just now it was mostly pictures of Damon Wayans (Jr. no less!) playing the role on the Lethal Weapon CBS series.

Bronco: Putting up with shit instead of speaking up about it. There's room on the train but I'm squished by the door because some self-absorbed dinks won't move in? "Could you please move in?" It sounds so simple, but breaking that silence barrier was a scary thing. Now I don't give a shit. I'm on train for two stops, and I'm not going to see you again, so fuck you, move in or I'm going to move myself in and it aint gonna be pleasant for you.

Chap: A hipster female barber said I was a silver fox. AYFKM?

BC: What the hell is Fortnite?

Resolution for 2018 Update:

Larse: get my list in on time! How it went: probably horseshit! (editor’s note: it was early yet!)

NACK: While I didn’t have the occasion to catch shows this year, I anticipate doing so in '18 due to some changes afoot. How it went: Joe Dons has yet to let me know of a concert going on and I have no other friends here, so I blame him for my failure

Bin: I’m just going to keep saying “get to NY for a show with JD” until I make it happen. How it went: Didn't get to NY for a show with JD.

JD: See you gents more often with or without a show attached.  How it went: Fairly decent, but is it really ever enough?

Bronco: Get in shape. I want to stick to a schedule of running all year round. I ran a 10K back in June, then needed to recover for a bit, been recovering ever since…Fat Dad needs to keep running all year round without excuse, especially given that we go skiing between Xmas and New Year’s and I’m gonna be a floppy legged mess. During those runs, I’ll try to listen to new material each time. How it went: I ran a 5-miler in May. Haven't run since. Though I have been reasonably consistent with my prison workout (situps and pushups before bed time), so now there's a hint of muscle under my fat dad layer. Just gotta combine the two now somehow.

Code: make more playlists for my wife How it went: i said that i was going to make more mixes for my wife. i made one year-end mix for her and i'm sure she's loving it :*

BC: No more resolutions How it went: 2018 Resolution was "No More Resolutions," so pretty darn good!

Resolution for 2019:

Laser: ---

BC: Listen to one new album a week; reboot the Classic Album Review Club

JD: Greater consciousness of how I’m using my attention - an ineffectual and meaningless protest of the ways the world is burning down in pursuit of it.

Bronco: Read more 'classic' books. I didn't read many of them, even in school (especially in school? Never could read a book I was told to read). But I'm leaning in the sci-fi direction of 'classics'. I just read Dune this summer, and wrapped up Fahrenheit 451 the other day. I'm feeling an unexplained need to beef up my nerd credentials and this seems the way to accomplish it.

Chap: Learn Piano; Guilt Joe Dons into finally inviting me to a concert

Nasty: I'm sticking with it - get to NY for a show with JD.

Code: catch ovlov, pictureplane, washer, chromatics, EMA and colleen green live this year.

Most Anticipated of 2019:

Bronco: Tool. Fifth year's the charm. I'm actually hopeful this time around. In fact, I half expect them to drop it on New Year's Eve or something, just so it's post Listicle season, but not quite 2019 so it can't end up on those lists either. They're such dicks like that.

BC: Still waitin' on dat Vampire Weekend yet

Chap: Vampire Weekend, Chromatics

C: Lin Manuel in Mary Poppins... I kid, My Bloody Valentine

JD: Going to put Frank Ocean out into the universe, MBV take 2, Grimes, Panda Bear, Kanye’s escape from the Black Lodge

Codem: chromatics - tommy, MBV, washer, colleen green, EMA(?), DoM

Laser: no idea what's even on the docket

Nasty: Mueller's Report

Unrecorded Memories and Missing Taiwan #4

I’m back again with the continuation from my previous posts! Although I need to admit that it does get boring that I have to write the same topic over and over again while personally wanting to write a different post (literally been itching to write something new), but I don’t like the idea of not finishing this post series till the end (just because it looks great to have 1, 2, 3, and so on side by side without having something unrelated in between).

If I have to describe my last two weeks in Taiwan, I would say that it’s just like a holiday rather than a summer exchange program. 

Me and My Roommates: Karen, Vincy, and Iris (from left to right) in Gaomei Wetlands

12) I have never mentioned my dorm roommates in my previous posts, that’s because they just moved in when I’m on my last week of AI program. I was actually quite busy with the AI studies (yes, when I get back to my dorm, I do try to revise what the professors have taught us) and trying to blend in with the students in my class that I didn’t have any time to hang out with my roommates. I feel bad for always rejecting them whenever they ask me out. They were really kind to even include me in most of their outings.

Since I lived in a room for 4 people, I have three roommates and they were from Hong Kong. Their names are Vincy, Karen and Iris. The three of them join the same summer program class and they’re also from the same university. Although they said that they didn’t know each other yet before this program, they were so close together. Maybe having a lot of similarities help them bond. Vincy and Karen were from the same major which is social work, while Iris came from journalism major. Among the four of us, Vincy was the oldest as she is a senior (class of 2015) while the rest of us were juniors (class of 2016). 

13) I think I started going out with them after my AI summer class ends. Every time we didn’t have any class trip on the weekend, we would plan our trip around the city. My friend, Iris, were like the tour guide among us because she was always the one who plan out our day (researching the best routes and where we should go)

I also get to befriend Singaporean friends, Jasmine and Hui En, who also took the same class as my roommates. They came with us during one of our trips and that was the time I were introduced to both of them.  

14) Our first trip, if my memory still serves me well, is going to various places during the weekend. We went to Taichung Old Train Station, which is a heritage building and the trains are still operating in there! I forgot if we went there by bus or taxi, but I think it’s more likely by bus. 

Taichung Old Train Station can be seen together with modern buildings.

Since the EasyCard/ Youyou Card that is used in public transportation allows a free 10 Km of ride by bus, we didn’t spend a lot. In fact, when I was there for a month, after buying the card for 100 NTD and depositing another 100 NTD (I think?), I had never recharge the card again. Some people say, they can even not recharge it for a year or so if you just make use of the 10 Km free ride (if you know what I mean). 

15) After that, we went to ride the bus to our next destination which is the Miyahara Ice Cream Shop. When we get there, there was a long queue line and it was packed with people. The shop is one of the tourist spot in Taichung and besides selling ice cream (duh), they also sell souvenirs and other delicacies like traditional cakes and so on. The shop is quite big and if we go further inside beyond the ice cream display, we can see a souvenir shop like below. The interior of the shop also gives off a Harry Potter vibe which is really cool and could also serves as a potential photo spots (although it would be hard with the place being packed with tourists). 

Inside Miyahara Ice Cream Shop where they sell their various souvenirs

It was a good experience overall. You would think that a long queue would mean waiting long but since I came with my friends, time flies so fast. We were also given a menu to choose and tick off while waiting in our queue, so we were really busy debating what flavor we would want to try. Pst, by the way, they also give out unique toppings for the ice cream. I have to admit that the ice cream is quite expensive but worth it for the size and taste. I especially love ice creams so when we arrived there, I was really excited (hahahaha!).

16)  For our lunch, we went to a mall to find a place for us to eat together and ended up with an Italian themed restaurant, which is one of the most expensive meal I had in Taiwan. Fortunately, we split it among the six of us and shared various menus ranging from main dish to dessert. I think it’s also the main reason it’s expensive, we ate 6 different dishes with 3 of them in large servings. For those who’s interested, the name of the Italian restaurant is called Miacucina located in Shin Kong Mitsukoshi Taichung. However, I don’t recommend eating here if you want to eat on budget. 

The Ice Cream Waffle shared between six people

17) Another destination for our Saturday Adventures is the Gaomei Wetlands in Taichung. We went there using taxi because we didn’t want to run late especially since we wanted to be there before the sunset. Aside from wetlands, there’s also a Wind Turbine. In fact, one of the bus station near Gaomei Wetlands is called Wind Turbine No. 18, which is also around the location where we alight. I remembered walking through the bridge, but I think to get to Gaomei Wetlands, we need to take a shuttle bus or walk more to get there. 

We took a photo on the bridge viewing the Wind Turbine (Strong Wind!)

After arriving at the Gaomei Wetlands, we need to cross a wooden jetty to actually accessed the wetlands (wet feet here I come!). This is because below the jetty there were baby crabs and we were not allowed to walk there for fear of crushing those precious lives. There were even staffs who’s guarding it, sometimes blowing his whistle when he spots someone trespassing. We were there for a limited time because we need to beware of the high tide after certain hours. 

When we get to the end of the jetty, there were a lot of shoes left there because we all wanted to get into the wetlands and it would be a no go if your shoes get wet too. This is where I think I made a mistake on my choice of outfit that day, because as you can see I was wearing long black jeans. So, I had to roll my jeans up but thankfully because of the low tide, our feet didn’t get too submerged into the water. I took a lot of pictures and videos that day because of the unique experience. TBH, I rarely took pictures of my activities but I just had to that day because it was an all new experiences for me. 

You can even bring your dog there, because I’ve seen one or two dogs walked by their owners. We even had the chance to actually take pictures with the cute dog and it was taken by the owner who later send us the pictures. 

This is one of the pictures I took when I reached the wetlands. Most of my picture were backlighted so this is the best one among the others. 

18) After watching the sunset for a while, we went to our last destination. I think we took a taxi to the night market. I forgot which night market it is but I think it should be Yi Zhong Night Market. We had our dinner there by indulging ourselves from one stall to another. I also tried Xing Fu Tang, my first brown sugar bubble tea, upon my friend’s recommendation and it was only around 50 NTD (which is much cheaper then the Xing Fu Tang on my country). The first time I tasted the bubble tea, I came to love it so much for its rich and surprising taste. It was sweet warm caramel at the top and cold milk tea at the bottom, it was mixed together but in a good way. However, when the franchise is available on my country, it wasn’t as good as the first time I tasted it. I wonder why. 

Pedestrians @ Yi Zhong Night Market

19) So that’s it for our Saturday adventure! After walking for a few hours tasting snacks and delicacies we found on the night market, we went back to our dormitory by bus. It was exhausting to walk all day outside, but I really enjoy going out with them because there were a lot of places I wouldn’t go if it weren’t for them and they were fun to converse with. I also am not confident enough yet, to go solo travelling in a country foreign to me so I was really grateful.

That night, we took a late night bath and I for one were taught on an early age not to take a bath late at night because it was not good for our health but because of our activities, I had to. Fortunately, the dormitories in Taiwan provide water heater (All hail water heater!). 

While we’re on the topic of ‘bathing’, I just realized this after observing my roommates for a few days, they tend to take a bath late at night before they went to sleep and they didn’t take a bath early in the morning before they go out. They just wash their face and did their makeup. I was actually very surprised with this since all three of them did it. So, I was intrigued to ask them about it and they explained that since they took a bath last night and going out will get them dirty, so why bother take a bath before going outside? Instead, they would take a bath before hitting the hay because that way the bed won’t get dirty. I thought to myself that their reasoning makes complete sense to me too apart from my own reasons to take a bath twice a day. It was trivial but I think these small things shapes our cultural behavior and it was actually interesting for me know that people from different country have different ‘normal’ too. While I think taking a bath twice a day was normal, it was not the case for my roommates.

I guess I’ll continue my ‘Sunday Adventure’ with my roommates in the next post because I think this post has been too long. There were a lot of places we visited that eventful Saturday and I had fun reminiscing about my trip. Since today’s Saturday, I think it’s the perfect time to actually post this! So, enjoy~!

PS. It has been so long since I write and this post have been on my draft since forever! I had been busy trying to find jobs (but not lucky yet) and tried to make my time more meaningful by studying online. 

rosebuzz kids

been meaning to make this post for a while but rosa and buzz have too many kids (SIX) lol. but they live on a farm (which i will post about eventually) outside of houston so they have plenty of room.

jacob abraham “jake” goldman

born september 15, 2018

his biological mother is polly bernhardt, but rosa adopts him when he’s seven and has been basically raising him since before he was five

guitar and piano prodigy. has been obsessed with music since buzz gave him his ukelele as a little kid.

total metal head. all his sisters hate it except sil.

he’s in a metal band for a long time. rosa’s very into it (in a really nerdy mom way) and goes to almost every show he plays in the city. she always wears a bunch of their merch and calls herself their “roadie” (which jake hates). buzz comes sometimes but it can be too loud for him to handle. jake understands.

teaches guitar and piano lessons for a living when he grows up. he’s classically trained and goes to berklee after high school.

he plays drums in school band in middle school and is on the drum line for three years in high school. also plays bass for the jazz band.

started skateboarding when he was six and when they leave the city for the country, rosa designs him a mini ramp on their land since the roads are mostly gravel or dirt.

hates having his hair short

such a good big brother. older than the rest by eight years but he takes his role as a big bro very seriously and looks after his little sisters and brother. he never complains when he has to babysit when he’s older.

he doesn’t mind working on the farm but he’s not into it like his dad is. but when he’s eighteen, buzz shows him the greenhouse where he grows medical marijuana for local dispensaries - which had always been strictly off limits for the kids. it’s the first time jake thinks of agriculture as fun.

very quiet and introspective. most of his focus is spent on his music. frequently referred to as antisocial and was teased a lot as a kid.

lilia hannah “lily” goldman 

born may 21, 2026

very skilled artist. loves drawing and painting. she draws on the walls a lot as a little kid and her parents never ever paint over her drawings. they love to talk about her masterpieces.

could be found every morning before anyone else woke up watching cartoons in the living room. loved cartoons so much.

loves “old” (old in the 2030s) cartoons her parents show her. she dresses as finn the human for halloween four years in a row. 

draws cartoons all the time about her family. which her dad loves so much and always hangs on the fridge.

the first one she does is of buzz with a beard of bees when she’s three and he keeps it in his wallet forever

fridge features include grumpy old man jake and rosa as a superhero called supermama who appears multiple times 

becomes an animator when she grows up

very bubbly and optimistic, excited about everything but also very bashful and is constantly embarrassed by her family

to be fair she’s very awkward and usually embarrasses herself more than her family does

hates disappointing people and always takes too much on her plate to make everyone happy

is constantly way too hard on herself and gets stressed out very easily

she gets this from her mother, who can always tell when lily gets in that mood and tears her away from her homework to watch animated movies and decompress

sophia demetria goldman

born november 4, 2027

fraternal twin of silvia

they couldn’t be more different and they aren’t that close but sophia always stands up for sil no matter what.

total daddy’s girl. loves working in the fields with him more than anything. they talk for hours.

they spend so much time gossiping. buzz knows so much about the social hierarchy of every class sophia is in. he knows about every snotnose kid who was mean to his daughter and gives them dirty looks when he drops the kids off or sees them at birthday parties. 

she tells buzz basically everything about her life. they’re super close.

when she goes to college she makes buzz get whatever device they use in 2046 so they can message all the time. he iris messages her every time anyways.

goes to the farmer’s market with buzz every weekend and is always a smash hit with the customers. she knows how to play up her cuteness.

she’s just like the nicest, sweetest, most well-behaved kid. buzz and rosa have no clue how it happened.

loves flowers and gardening. they didn’t have a flower garden before sophia expressed interest, but buzz set it up just for her. she spends so much of her free time there. even if she’s not gardening, she has a hammock set up where she’ll do her homework or hang out.

ridiculously caring and selfless. 

the sweetest nicest bean ever. would not hurt a fly.

so smart. not just in school but rosa swears she got 100% of the athena wisdom gene. she gives amazing advice. 

ends up becoming a therapist when she grows up. and her home garden is magnificent.

silvia atenea “sil” goldman

born november 4, 2027

fraternal twin of sophia

she prefers “sil” to silvia

got buzz’s crazy curls

loves loves loves animals, bugs, and biology. has to be told several times by her parents to stop hanging out with wild animals on the farm and still doesn’t really listen.

she sneaks insects inside that end up escaping and it’s no fun for anyone. she did this with a snake once and got grounded for a month. never again.

whatever it is it usually ends up in sophia’s bed because they share a bunkbed. sophia has a complete meltdown every single time.

talks to caterpillars and chases butterflies when she’s supposed to be picking vegetables. also loves playing in the dirt as a kid.

seriously buzz and rosa have to wash her like three times a day because she keeps coming back inside covered in mud

reads all the time, mostly nonfiction books about animals. 

she enthusiastically shows pages about inchworm digestion to sophia, who screeches immediately

doesn’t get along great with her sisters but is super close with jake (also adam to an extent because they’re both science geeks). they’re both kind of social outcasts in school so he gets her really well even though he’s nine years older.

jake shows sil metal and she’s all about it

when she’s 10-11 and he’s 19-20 jake takes her to a couple of his shows and she has the time of her life.

on the spectrum. she’s has high-functioning autism. she mostly just doesn’t look people in the eye and when someone is saying something she’s not interested in she tends to tune them out completely.

tomboy/gender non-conforming. doesn’t care about gender norms.

not very interested in other people or in making friends. she has her own thing going on instead.

can be mean but it’s not on purpose

ends up becoming a wildlife biologist when she grows up. plays the doctor card nonstop as soon as she gets her phd. even her nieces and nephews call her “dr. auntie sil”

amalia michelle goldman

born july 12, 2029

her family often calls her ‘mali/molly’ but she prefers amalia

the most dramatic of the six kiddos because there’s too many of them and it’s really hard to get attention. she’s the kid who always has to cause a scene.

car rides are a nightmare. “mama! adam keeps poking me! tell him to stop right now!” “no i’m not! tattle!” “mama if adam keeps poking me i’m going to open the door and get out on the street and probably die!”

every time she gets sick as a kid she acts as if she’s going to die and writes a will where she leaves her jerk siblings nothing because they’re jerks who suck 

had a grudge against adam until he was like six because he usurped her as the baby of the family.

there’s an infamous family video of a five year old amalia pushing a crying two year old adam off his tricycle and it gets played at every hannukah and christmas.

somehow around the time they’re about 7/9 they actually become friends

your typical try hard nerd. very much like her mom. gets over-competitive about everything, total know it all, tries to take control of any room she’s in

president of like every nerdy club in high school

she loves using difficult vocabulary. everybody else hates it.

amalia and rosa have been prohibited from being on the same team or going 1v1 on family game night because it gets too intense too fast and then family game night is cancelled

consistently has the cleanest bedroom in the house

very logical and efficient. comes up with her own systems so she can be the best at everything.

becomes an english teacher. all her siblings say they feel bad for her students. she eventually becomes a principal. they say the same thing about the entire school.

adam emiliano goldman

born february 14, 2032

total mama’s boy. loves his mom and hangs out with her all the time. even in his teens. he doesn’t care what anyone says about that.

she calls him lovebug because he was born on valentines day

very smart, witty, and energetic

really a heartbreaker tbh

naturally gets attention by just who he is as a person

this enrages amalia

he loves school but always gets sent to the office for arguing with teachers. this happens throughout his entire schooling from kindergarten to senior year

rosa is so proud every time

very into his video games. and this is in the future so i bet it’s super cool and VR by then.

weirdly good at rapping and most of the family’s kinda unsure how they feel about this

gets into 90s east coast rap and buzz tell him he was there he was a toddler but he was there

he listens to so much old school rap it really amps him up

isn’t intimidated by anyone. constantly stands up to bullies no matter who they’re targeting.

he get’s buzz’s height - ends up being even taller at 6′4″ - and gets pretty good at basketball. he even goes to college on a basketball scholarship.

buzz hangs a hoop in the driveway and they play so much

buzz sees him playing basketball on tv for the first time and cries real dad tears

science nerd - loves chemistry specifically

becomes a research chemist

Not to intrude but last I heard, you had a good job with good money, what happened?

Long story Anon ;;; Seriously, it’s long, buckle up

Basically I don’t have that job anymore- it was like 16 hours a week for two days at the weekend but now I have one that’s still 16 hours a week but stretched over four days The only problem is because it’s minimum wage (the last job was minimum too but because it was in an airport I got paid a little extra, which really helped) and four days a week, I have to pay a taxi to get there at least one way It’s kinda hard to explain but lemme trySo I work four days, two during the week and two both days of the weekend My mother leaves me down for the beginning of the shifts but since they end at 2am, I need to get a taxi home which costs anywhere between £7 and £10 So just for arguments sake let’s say they all cost £8That’s £32 a week I earn £118 a week, but I have to take that £32 every week for travels (Which leaves me with £86- I’ve checked and there’s no way to get these reimbursed, sadly) 

Needless to say I don’t have a car (can’t afford one) and don’t know how to drive (can’t afford lessons lol)I used to be on benefits for caring for my brother, but they limit those- you can only earn £120 max a week (I went off them because the job at the airport was causing me to earn about £140 a week, even though I’m still taking care of him which limits how much I can work) I’m currently appealing to try and get back on them since it would really help, but the system is… Interesting and very complicated. Even if I was earning over £120 and still paying out £32 for travels, that doesn’t affect the benefits- in other words they can still say “No you’re earning more than the limit” Whether or not the fact that I’m juuuust shy of that limit and whether that means I can go back on benefits is literally just up to them, I have no idea at this point It’s a fair system and I completely understand, but damn if it ain’t annoying XDOn to how I lost the job- I see no reason to refrain from sharing this online, I’m just gonna tick that little imaginary box that says “to the best of my understanding, all the above and below information is the complete truth” xD So yeah, I worked in the airport in a Starbucks there- nothing fancy I actually thought the job was going okay- I’ve worked in a Costa before but since it was just a temporary Christmas job I got no training on how to make drinks or anything, so I was literally just washing dishes for 2 months, yay But hey, I got paid! Being in the airport they have a security system- remember this as it’s important later. I got this job through an agency- I was only supposed to cover one shift but a supervisor then offered me a job there permanently which I accepted (after explaining my lack of knowledge in making drinks and my obligations to my brother, being his carer, which he promised was fine) so I started the following week That first day I had a temporary day pass, the following week I received my 60 day pass. During the course of those 60 days you have to find every place you’ve ever been for the past 5 years and get the bosses and such to write a letter saying ‘Yep, this person was here and is a real person and definitely not a terrorist’ Like I said, keep that piece of info for nowSo anyway I did notice some of my fellow employees would get really tetchy when I didn’t know things like the code they use on their cups (Google it) and they were also shocked to find I couldn’t make any drinks despite me,,, telling them that before and after starting the job BUT (Costa did this too why this)But, yeah, I thought the job was going good regardless, I was happy that I had learned every cup code and everything on the till in just over a month, all good I left on holiday leave for 2 weeks and came back for the 3rd week, called my supervisor like “When am I on?” and she’s like “Oh you’re still listed as being on holiday leave?” And I’m like “Well, no I’m not- I only booked 2 weeks off” I didn’t think anything of that at the time, really. She gives me some hours to cover on Saturday and Sunday and I turn up on time, all good. And then the boss, who I’ve met but once, comes on the phone and says, “You can’t come in. Your pass has run out” I’m like “Oh well, I have all the references right here?” (I did, literally in my bag)But she says “No the person who deals with the passes isn’t here on weekend- didn’t she ever send you an email?”“No?”“Oh, she should have.” Well, she didn’t. And actually after this she never did, I had to phone up and get it myself! I sent the email the following Tuesday since miscommunication meant I got the email wrong, and didn’t want to send it before she’d see it on Monday, if she really wasn’t in on weekends Regardless, I heard nothing back Next thing the boss of the agency calls me up and his first words are “I’m just off the phone to the boss [of starbucks]- what’s been happening?”And I’m like “Nothing, to my knowledge?” To cut that short, basically I was told I was fired because I had failed to get the pass references in on time. Now, only thing is I very meticulously counted up the days- even if they counted the temporary day pass (which I was told by one employee they didn’t and by another they did, but by all accounts surely they wouldn’t count the day pass?) the 60 days, exactly, wouldn’t be up until the weekend after I sent the email (and before I got this call) If they didn’t count the day pass, it would be the weekend following Meaning, of course, I was being told a blatant lie, no matter how I looked at it So why was I fired? To this day I have no idea I admit I can be stubborn and not see when I’ve done wrong or assume what I’m doing in the present is fine and then see it was very bad in hindsight, but I’m near-obsessive about doing things right in work (exactly because working in retail you CAN just get fired out of the blue like this, you are indeed expendable) and after scouring through my memories I can’t find anything that I did that was so wrong it would warrant kicking me out, especially as I wasn’t fired directly either- they went to my boss before me (as you can imagine this ticked me off- because if there were problems why not tell me, the person responsible?)It ehh– really affected my confidence with working, but I had to jump right back into the next available job- because of the aforementioned benefits for a few weeks I had literally only what the last job left me with (it was around £160 or something at the beginning?) The new job is a cook for staff of a retail store :3 The boss there is much more understanding and patient, and the best part is for my night shifts I work alone, so I can just do whatever which is a lot more relaxing honestly XD (obviously, I get all my work done though)Last thing I’ll say- why didn’t I dispute it with Starbucks? A few reasons 1) I don’t want to work for someone who fires people for no reason, tbh 2) It’s not like Starbucks is my dream job, I may be expendable to them but they are likewise expendable to me c83) It IS illegal to fire someone without reason, but their reason was ‘the security pass ran out’- so, legally, they have a reason and it’s not like anyone in Starbucks or the airport would have taken my side anyway4) In short, there was no point TL;DR- I lost my old job on unfair grounds and I now have a new one which doesn’t pay as good xP  First world problems, eh?