#The narrow door
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The Narrow Door - Joanne Harris
Not so different after all. Years and years after reading the first two, I’m reading the third in the St Oswald’s trilogy. This one seems to capture more of the magic that I usually feel is absent from her books set in England; they have a more practical tone. Maybe it’s that I know the characters well now.
It’s set in an Independent Boys School which recently invited in girls. Being the third book, there are lots of threads to follow. I went to exactly that type of school, as a girl, and it was fantastic, but the existence of girls in the school is far more marginal in the book than they were in my life. Women on school staff are more of a focus.
The main thread is the disappearance of the headteacher’s brother thirty-odd years before, at a rival school, and the story she tells around it.
Of the three, the misogyny theme really kicks up in this one. Straitley is not a misogynist himself, but he forgives it in others. Archaic practises are highlighted and views of women are shallow and unexamined. One of the two points of view (Straitley being one) is a successful woman - the headteacher - who has really had enough of having to justify herself. I do enjoy how he calls her Headmaster, which invokes a conversation we’ve had in my household - why can’t a woman be a Master? It’s a statement of qualification without an exact female equivalent, like wizard or warlock.
The Queer discourse continues.
Classics is not obsolete. Classics is vital and understanding Latin and Greek is one of the privileges of the privately educated, a central privilege. State schools should be teaching Classics to narrow the gap. Anyone who thinks Classics is useless either has no grasp on the languages or has never reflected on how useful it’s been to them.
The parts are named after the rivers to Hades. I love it.
I’ve read the first two before but not for a while, so I started at the beginning with Gentlemen and Players. My thoughts on those are beneath the cut.
An elegant whodunnit, based around worship of the privileged turning to deep-seated resentment of the privileged. Set in an independent day school (I always thought it was a boarding school and even in the middle of reading the books, I still feel like it’s a boarding school), the POV is split between the unidentified one what dun it and an acute-minded, likeable sixty-five year old Classics master called Roy Straitley.
It makes me glad that I did read this, just after Broken Light. The same ideas are growing in there, but growing in a world that isn’t fertile enough yet.
I always like teacher perspectives in books, even if they’re inaccurate, even if they’re, as in this book, wildly different from my inner-London primary expertise. I know from friends that teaching is teaching is teaching and the behaviour challenges you meet in LEA Early Years are awfully similar to those you meet in Public School Y11. I think I might like books that swap perspectives too, although I’m not 100% sure about that.
It’s set in 2004 and Working Together to Safeguard Children had turned up at that point but I was at school then and for some time after and I know that at least independent schools didn’t hurry to comply.
Drinking at lunchtime is pretty unusual for a teacher now, as far as I’m aware. A sackable offence in some schools, although I don’t think in mine. Teachers not much older than me are shocked at their previous Friday lunchtime behaviour. As soon as the kids are out of the door, what we do is our own business and bringing a bottle of wine to a long cutting and sticking session is a great thing to do, but I think drinking while they’re there has gone out.
One thing: no way in HELL any school in England would allow their alumni to be nicknamed “Ozzies”. We have too much respect for the spirit of the game.
Different Class
Back in St Oswalds, a pretty original plotline focussing on religious trauma, bereavement, mental illness, homophobia, the culture of disrespect towards experts that Michael Gove either initiated or identified before going on to treat experts with plenty of respect by all accounts. The manipulation of vulnerable children. Is a monster born or made?
Again I’m primarily interested in the school. I’m surprised there’s reference to ‘possible police checks’ for staff, as I would have thought the Soham murders SCR would have happened by then. 2005 was so long ago - apparently the New Head doesn’t have a Friends Reunited OR a MySpace account.
Straitley is an interesting character - I’m not easily seduced by tradition myself and I found his attachment to it a bit wearing at first. But then later on, he raises his standard for a friend of his with very progressive ideas and my perspective of him changed: not necessarily someone who is anti-progress but someone with a thirty-odd year career who can tell the difference between jobsworthy flimsiness and genuine positive change. You have to assume that his views are character views rather than author points, otherwise it becomes a distasteful read.
I do identify with him, as a teacher who loves teaching and hates admin. He is generally as joyful in his profession as I am (very) and his edges of bitterness also resemble mine. Those who don’t like teaching enough to stay in the classroom and instead ascend to SLT do tend to love a document. I detest children being given physical rewards for expected learning, as though they are doing it for us - in no small part because I have a sneaking suspicion that in schools where rewards play a big part, the children are indeed the product rather than the customer. I agree that forced conformity, aside from not benefitting anyone, is a distraction from effective learning and if your behaviour management depends on tucked-in shirts and being addressed as ‘sir’, you have no behaviour management at all.
Queerness is a focus, and the religious bullying thereof. It’s relevant to the recent backslide in some states in the US. I must have read this more recently than I thought, because not only is it highlighted, it’s highlighted in pink, so I must have been at least 25. Some of the queer-related things I highlighted are interesting to me now, in the sense that I’m surprised they were of interest to me then. Some of the things I hadn’t highlighted surprise me too, such as the egregious anti-tolerance arguments which seem mostly very tired now, easily debunked. My internal discourse must have been at a less sophisticated stage than I think of it as being.
Although the false reporting is portrayed as an act of aggression against Queerness, I don’t like how often false reporting of sexual assault comes up in fiction. I’m sure it happens in real life from time to time, but I’m absolutely confident that the percentage of reports that a false in fiction is astronomically higher than those in real life. I can think of several, whereas I can’t think of many times a person has been justifiably convicted of sexual assault having been accused from the beginning of the book.
Weird, that they act as though Independent Schools weren’t teaching Classics in 2005. There is a bit of pressure now, cost of living and everything, but in 2005, every Independent School did.
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the parable of the narrow door
WHY MUST THE DOOR be narrow? Certainly, there will be more than ample room in heaven for everyone. Its vastness is beyond anything we can imagine. Scripture tells us that God desires everyone to be saved. Paul urged Timothy to make supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings for all people, for God our Savior desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth…
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I like the different reactions of the characters in the true pacifist ending when Toriel recognizes Sans's voice:
Asgore and Undyne are shocked...
...while Aphys just akwardly looks aside (she might be looking at Sans..?).
And Papyrus who's just
#Undertale#Sans#Papyrus#Toriel#Asgore#Alphys#Undyne#I love how unimpressed/annoyed Papyrus looks#well#he knows that Sans spends a lot of time by the door in the woods#and says he has to “KEEP HIM ON THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW” because of it
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forming a personal vendetta against travel instagram accounts telling people to go to the devils pulpit if they visit scotland (yknow like instead of just going to edinburgh) because not even people from here know how to park or cross the road safely to go there anyway pls dont tell more people to go please please please
#a little post just for meee#kiddo say#people will just open their car door into the narrow road and walk out . girl youre going to get run over!!!!!!!!#i know the red water looks slay but please . please . dont wreck our car by getting hit by it. look both ways before crossing#look at pictures of it tho its pretty cool : )#huh searched it up and i guess people also love falling into it. so thats something else not to do
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i have come to terms with the fact that i will read the narrow road between desires by patrick rothfuss because who am i kidding but honestly, i feel so . . .dejected about it
like i have so many mixed feelings. i am okay waiting longer/never getting doors of stone but i will always have a part of me that is disappointed. not to mention, the broken promise from rothfuss of not releasing the first chapter from over a year ago is still quite upsetting to think of honestly. so to get another book, one that we already have a version of actually, with no word on dos, is a total letdown in my opinion.
another aspect is that i did not care for the lighting tree and it made me reevaluate how i see bast, whose head i did not like being in at all. there are sooo many characters i would rather see (denna, wil, sim, devi, fela, mola, tempi, elodin, vashet, kilvin etc) that getting a reworking of basts story will not excite me.
and ofc i am an advocate for not reading books one doesnt like but i know i will regret not getting thos book, not reading it (i may dnf if i really dont like it), and not engaging with the fandom about new material. so i am going to buy and read it because i wpuld regret not doing it more than actually doing it.
anyone else having mixed feelings or maybe just total delight or total disappointment?
#kkc#kingkiller chronicle#the name of the wind#patrick rothfuss#the narrow road between desires#doors of stone
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Dubrovnik, Croatia
#croatia#europe#travel europe#europe travel#places#wanderlust#summer aesthetic#Summer#door#narrow street#dubrovnik#Wedding#sea#ocean
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Hey, did y'all know that stores selling large home appliances don't keep stock on-hand anymore? In order to get a new fridge, since mine died yesterday out of the fucking blue, it has to be paid for in-store in full, and then we have to wait for it to show up at some undetermined point between 7AM and 7PM on some undetermined day between February 7th thru 10th. It will arrive randomly, with "15 to 30 minutes' notice for convenience," and someone has to be present to receive it or it will be returned and we have to reschedule and pay for a second delivery.
I feel like if someone is buying a fridge it's because they need a fridge, which is a pretty time-sensitive thing, but sure! That sounds totally convenient! 10-12 days is a completely acceptable wait when food will spoil in a matter of hours! And monopolizing the entire day, multiple days in a row, with basically no notice as to actual arrival is a fucking inspired way of handling things!
We live in a fucking hell world.
#anyway my fridge died yesterday#along with a slew of other things that went wrong#my computer woke up to bsod#I fucked up my knees standing for too long#and my wrist because I was standing for too long hand-washing dishes#because I had to completely empty the fridge#because it's broken#and it was a high pain day already#still recovering from covid#still with massive constant fatigue#near constant brain fog#had to clean my whole house to make space to get the old fridge out#and a new one in#found out my doors are too narrow to do either of those things?#the old one only made it out the door#because we took all the doors and hinges and vents off#and I still had to remove a door latch#to fit it out the door#and now I can't even get a new one for like a week minimum#because nobody keeps stock on-hand#anywhere#in the entire fucking state#hell world hell world#depression diaries#I guess
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Reference to The Shining in The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina 4.1
#Chilling Adventures of Sabrina#The Shining (1980)#Michelle Gomez#Shelley Duvall#Jack Nicholson#I find the parallels between Wendy and Mary very *very* interesting#(and also the parallel between Jack and an obsessively driven being of murderous darkness)#Because both Mary and Wendy are women pushed to their limit#mentally and emotionally exhausted with no one to support them#left to try and deal with overwhelming threats on their own#women whose gentleness is treated as weakness#women whose obvious anxiety is either dismissed or diminished or down right ignored#In the Shining in this moment#Wendy has a knife to protect herself which she uses to slash at Jack's hand when he tries to open the door through the hole he has made#notably however#Mary has no weapon#she has her wits#and those remind her of what she recently heard about beings of darkness and about not clinging to the light for safety#When I first noted this parallel I was only thinking about Wendy and Mary's direction#but actually Jack and the Darkness herald walking steadily down a narrow hallway with their axes#passing beneath centred round lights#is also nicely paralleled#If only the caos director had kept the shot framed centre#There is one tiny other thing which is the shot of Mary's face peering through the slightly open door#the way the wood frames her face somewhat close to how Jack's face is framed through the busted door#when he delivers the iconic HERE'S JOHNNY!#And tho it may well have been an intended thing it just doesn't serve the theme very well#cw violence#Mary Wardwell
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"As you all know, I am very normal about Akane Kurashiki lol" is like a really fun joke to make we all say it here and there but y'know what I don't think ANYONE in-universe OR out has ever been normal about one Akane Kurashiki not even herself
#like the post really was just about that turn of phrase but I do not think she'd be normal about herself you know I mean#do you ever think about the fact she was watching herself through junpei we always talk about the horrors but just seeing herself carries#so many possible implications do you think about her figuring out who zero is alongside junpei do you#how much do you think she replays in her head every single thing her older self says and tries to see meaning in it#and then again even older#do you think she ever feels like herself on her own skin and how that just fuels the gender headcanons#how the situation passes and she survived but she barely started living and now she has only narrow lenses to understand herself through#how of course she would prioritize a mission and making things the way she thinks they should be when what else even is she#okay I got it out of my system. I think that proved my point#zero escape#akane kurashiki#999 spoilers#9 hours 9 persons 9 doors#zero escape spoilers
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Entrance to a land of enchantment and mystery, Blackpool.
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I was wondering about getting back into making a character roleplay account again but whomstfuh should I even choose?! This is my list I’ve been thinking about doing:
• Zero Kiryu, Vampire Knight
• Richard Plantagenet, Requiem of the Rose King
• Shirotani Tadaomi, Ten Count
• Kyungjoon Do, Sid, or Aaron from Dear Door
• Minato or Shizuma, Therapy Game
• Tomoe, Kamisama Kiss
• Eitherrr, Syunrai to Mitsu
#I have lots in mind but I narrowed it down to these for now#zero kiryu#vampire knight#richard plantagenet#requiem of the rose king#baraou no souretsu#tadaomi shirotani#ten count manga#dear door#Kyungjoon Do#dear door sid#aaron dear door#therapy game manga#therapy game restart#minato mito#shizuma ikushima#tomoe#kamisama kiss#kamisama hajimemashita#Syunrai to Mitsu#roleplay#manga rp#anime rp#open rp#active rp
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made my cheap as possible small animal carrier into a better Bird Carrier by adding a perch (also makes it slightly less floppy). no its not removable for cleaning but as stated this thing was very cheap and i will eventually get a nicer designated carrier cage.
#i dont wanna put win in the little wire cage because not knowing how he'll do i dont want him hurting himselr with the#very narrow bar spacing#and i only have one with a very tiny door because the big door one is allens sleep cage#and i havent bought him a designated sleep/travel cage yet#but this should work well for now
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ive been a little upset about it all night so i need to write out all the things that happened at work today and are bugging me so i can TRY to get it out of my head and actually RELAX bc i just keep pacing in circles around it instead of just accepting it and moving on
#for context i was working frying chicken today. ok so i arrive and literally all the chicken out expires within ten minutes of each other#meanwhile to remake everything takes about an hour 20#tried my best to get everything out and replaced and make sure i have enough of everything and then take my break bc with chicken there are#few narrow windows to take your break in you have very little control over when it is#get back and while im getting ready for my next fry one of the assistant leaders comes back and passive aggressively asks 'everything ok?'#and when i say yeah shes starts saying how shes 'just checking' because apparently i didnt have enough chicken out for her liking and went#on about how we're in a chicken drive (I KNOW. I WORK CHICKEN SHE NEVER HAS.)#etc etc. i just say ok and she leaves#like 20 minutes later she comes fucking back to rag on me again about how i need to choose my break times better and i need to have more#chicken out there as back up (extremely difficult bc there is literally only so much room in the fryers. the batches i usually make already#nearly completely fill them up) blah blah and then when i try to explain how i WAS making pretty big batches people are just snatching them#up fast she keeps trying to walk out the door right away and keeps stopping and looking over her shoulder to just stare at me while i try t#finish my sentence#and she just. doesnt say anything in response when i do finish she just leaves#so clearly she didnt want a conversation she just wanted to rag on me#then later for cleanup the timing of everything just kept lining up inconveniently so i kept having to get in and out of raw cleaning gear#and slowing myself down and i end up having to stay almost 15 minutes late to finish cleaning#during cleaning i have to go grab a key to the back door to take out my trash and this one coworker i have was standing in the way of the#door. i say excuse me and she just stares at me and goes huh?#and i say i need a key and she barely moves out of the way without responding and she has a look like im bothering her#why are you acting like im being douchey. i just need a key. thats something she does a lot she acts like im inconveniencing her by asking#basic favors . ive stopped asking her to help me open the back door (sometimes needed if i also have raw garbage to take out and therefore#cant touch the key myself) for some reason she takes it upon herself to almost completely close the door after i walk out so when i come#back i have to awkwardly use my foot to reach around and pull the door open#ive asked her before not to do it and she just ignored me#GRAH GRAH. and then like i said in my last rb i realized while i was drivign home i forgot to wash a damn pan#im mostly worried about it because ive forgotten a couple times in the past too . in my defense its a pan i personally dont use but it just#gets left behind from first shift sometimes and then second shifters end up having to make sure its clean#im just irritateddd and im mad im worried about it all. its all little things piling up on each other#LOL I WROTE A LOT MORE BUT THE REST GOT CUT OUT IG I HIT A TAG LIMIT. tumblr voice ok dude quit your bitching !!
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I think everyone needs to make a "peace and love on planet earth" tag for their blog. A tag where videos, images, memes, and stories can be compiled of humanity showing kindness, empathy, joy, beauty, and love. A respite from the horrors that are shoved in our faces on a daily basis. A reminder that no matter what, we are all human, we are all one, and that we are all capable of being kind to each other and bringing beauty to this world.
#lab notes#the tag doesnt need to specifically be called 'peace and love on planet earth' but yknow#god i just love humanity so much#sorry this post is so rambly and repetitive i just think its so important that we have a reminder like this yknow#pls excuse me while i cry over my love of humanity and people just being so so kind to each other#bc yeah so much fucking horrible shit is happening in the world caused by humans#but that is an extremely narrow few who are influenced by greed and power and capitalism#the vast majority of humanity is filled with those who love and care for each other#and those who love and care for complete strangers#i see way too much nihilism around humanity and its blights to the point where there are people out there who genuinely think all of#humanity is nothing but greed and suffering but no!!! we are a social species! we evolved to work together and help each other and love.#to save humanity first you have to fucking love humanity!!!#if you want to make the world a better place first you have to find a reason to love it! and we are a part of this world so you need to#have a reason to love us! to love yourself!!#go outside and spread some fucking joy to others. hold open a door for a stranger. compliment someones outfit. help someone carry#their groceries. please even just the littlest of things can mean the world to others and can make the biggest of differences.#WOW ok. speaking of rambles.#anyways#peace and love on planet earth#<- an easy way to just click this tag n go to my own#bc i think its important for people to see
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every day i lust after power assist wheels
#alber twion….. i want you so bad#does anyone have a spare $7K they could lend me#part of me wants to crowdfund for them bc i know insurance wont cover it#for my plan it has to be required to go around the house to be covered#my doorways are too narrow for my chair so i can only use it around my room :/#(i have to take a wheel off to get it through the door)#but the other part of me knows like. my very rich dentist uncle could pay for them w no financial repercussions#but my entire family thinks me using the chair is temporary :/#:-(#my life would be so much easier with them
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my roommate had a few friends over tonight for a game night which was nice enough except most of them, like her, are or were architect majors and so as soon as the games were finished they started to amuse themselves by measuring everything in the house with a tape measure and declaring whether it was up to code or not
#sasha speaks#like. sorry the powder room door is 6 inches too narrow to be ada compliant. the house was built in 1923
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