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shadows-and-flowercrowns · 4 years

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Equals

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AN: I haven’t really proof read this. Its just.. I’ve had this idea floating around my head so I decided to put the metaphorical pen to paper to get it out. This is just a one shot of why Elriel makes sense to me 🤷‍♀️ I’m also posting this on mobile so please forgive me for any formatting issues and what not.

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Elain watched in silence as Azriel faded into shadows, the voices around them growing more raucous by the second.

He had been doing it more lately.

Or, perhaps she was only now able to see it.

It was hard to tell.

She loosed a long breath as she looked around the table.

No one else seemed to have noticed. They were all focused on Feyre as she regaled the inner circle and their guests with the story of how she had found out Rhys was her mate.

Elain couldn't stop the amused grin that spread across her face as she watched Kallias and Viviane laugh at Feyre's tale. Her eyes flicked towards Azriel once again and her grin quickly faded.

"Az." She whispered.

The darkness disappeared in an instant, his anxious eyes darting around the room, searching for a threat, before they finally fixed on her.

Elain gave him a slight smile and he dipped his head, eyes softening.

Though she turned her eyes away from him, pain tugged at her chest at that momentary flash of panic that had consumed him. She understood that feeling all too well.

Everyone had thought that Elain had mastered her visions years ago, before the final battles of the war, but the truth was that she had only really started gaining full control over the last several weeks.

True, it had been years since the visions had held her in their grasp, fully consuming her to the point that her eyes glazed over and she couldn't differentiate the present from the future when she spoke but that didn't mean they hadn't continued to plague her.

For years she had felt them tickle at the edges of her mind as the fog and whispers fought to take center stage. It had been a constant effort to push them aside.

No one had known, save Azriel, that she had struggled.

"Listen," Feyre exclaimed, "I was absolutely pissed at you for not telling me but I also didn't understand how it could be true!"

"It's important to remember," Rhys drawled to Kallias in a stage whisper, "that the Feyre we know and love today wasn't who I was dealing with then. She had thought she wasn't my equal."

"Oh, please!" Vivianne said between laughter.

"I was still newly made." Feyre shrugged, a genuine smile plastered on her face. "I didn't know the extent of my powers."

"Well, your story is sweet but Viv should tell their story." Mor interjected with a waggle of her eyebrows.

Elain stood up quickly as a flush spread across her neck. She had heard this story once before and had no desire to hear it again.

"Dessert!" She exclaimed, "I just remembered, I have dessert in the kitchen. I'll be right back."

Once she was in the safety of the kitchen, she braced her hands on the counter as she let her head fall forward. A dark chuckle sounded from the doorframe.

Elain whipped around to see Azriel standing there, arms crossed over his chest. The blue siphons on his hands glinted in the fae light.

"I figured you could use a hand." He said, pushing himself off the door frame and coming to her side to help prepare the tray.

"A coinvent excuse." She muttered but grinned up at him none the less.

They worked in silence. Elain chewed on her lip as she tried to make the mess of feelings clanging around in her head into something more solid. Setting down the knife she had been using to slice the tiered cake, she turned to look at her friend.

"Thank you."

He let out a huff. "I am happy to help but, trust me, I feel you're doing me a favor. I really don't need to hear about the exact look on Kallias' face when the bond snapped in place for them. Again."

His wings ruffled slightly in agitation.

"No, not for that. Thank you for being there for me."

Azriel set down the plates he had been laying out to turn to look at her. Now that his full gaze was on her, Elain felt heat blossom on her cheeks.

"It's just, with Feyre describing her conversation with the Suriel, it got me thinking."

She paused, struggling to find the words as Azriel continued to look at her, giving her the time to formulate her thoughts.

"Feyre is Rhysand's equal even though their powers aren't the same. I don't know what it's like to be a shadowsinger but you the only person who has ever understood me, my powers. You see me. This may be silly but I hope that you know that I am here for you as well."

He opened his mouth before shutting it, brows furrowing as his head cocked to the side.

"Forget I said anything," she muttered, turning back to the cake.

She tried to cause a distraction for the both of them, clattering the plates and utensils about. She was making more noise than needed but Elain was keenly aware that Azriel hadn't turned back to resume his work and she could feel the weight of his stare.

The flush was spreading now, down her throat and onto her chest. Elain moved faster, finishing in record time.

With a sigh, she prepared herself to turn and face her friend but Azriel grabbed the tray and disappeared into shadow.

Elain began to gnaw on her bottom lip once more.

She shouldn't have said anything.

Elain returned to the dining room, not even the slightest bit surprised to learn that Azriel had excused himself for the rest of the evening moments before she had arrived.

She had expected it but the knowledge had still left her feeling a little empty inside. She moved to the side of the room to sit alone for some time, quietly observing the group as she thought of dynamic of her relationship with Azriel.

Elain valued his companionship beyond all the others. She thought of that first day in the garden, the first time he had mentioned that he didn't always feel like he belonged. He had been trying to make her feel better, to let her know that she wasn't alone in her isolation. In some weird way it had helped her, knowing that someone who had been with this group for so long still felt alone at times. But even in the haze, Elain had wanted to make his hurt go away.

At the beginning, when she was still so lost to her visions and could barely speak, she gave him some of her favorite flowers that she had grown. As time passed and she gained control, Elain had become more vocal in expressing how much she valued him in her life but there were still moments like this evening when he would try to push her away.

Making up her mind, Elain excused herself from the rest of the group.

She quietly walked up the steps, barely even noticing the tickle in her head of an impending vision. She passed her bedroom and continued down the hallway until she stood in front of Azriel's door.

With a shaking hand, she prepared to knock but the door opened before her hand made contact with the wood. Elain didn't bother waiting as she immediately stepped forward to cross over the threshold into Azriel's room.

She was plunged into complete darkness once the door shut behind her.

"Azriel?" She whispered tentatively.

She heard rustling from behind her and then a hand touched hers. She flinched in surprise at the contact and Azriel withdrew. Elain practically lunged in his direction, gripping tight to his arm.

"Please don't hide from me."

She felt his body relax and a moment later the shadows withdrew.

They stood in the center of his room, her refusing to let go of him.

Elain saw his eyebrows raise ever so slightly as she pulled him along so they could sit at the foot of his bed.

She slid her hands down, adjusting her grip so she held one of his massive hands between her own, cradling it in her lap.

The two sat in silence. After a moment, she moved to rest her head against his shoulder.

"You should be down with the others." He said quietly, his body remaining still and unrelenting as stone beneath her.

"They will be fine without me."

Azriel pulled away, disentangling himself from her. He stood up and walked across the room, bracing both hands against the dresser in the corner.

"So will I."

Elain had once heard Rhys compare Cassian to fire and Azriel to ice. She felt the shudder pass over her at his words but pushed on. "Let me rephrase that then: I would rather be with you."

He turned to look at her, the unfeeling mask cracking for just a moment to reveal the desperation beneath. "You can't say things like that. You can't say that the story with the Suriel reminds you of me."

"What do you mean? Azriel, you have been the best thing that has happened to me since I moved to Velaris."

He crossed his arms across his chest and he looked for all the world like he was preparing to fight her down on her own feelings.

She shook her head.

"It's like I said earlier - you are the only person who understands me."

"But that is the thing, Elain. You don’t understand me. Do you know what it means to be a shadowsinger?"

She tentatively nodded. "As much as you know what its like to be a seer."

"I torture people," he retorted. "You do not. That is the difference between you and I. We will never understand one another."

He turned his back on her once again, signaling quite clearly that the conversation was over but Elain refused to be dismissed so easily.

"Why?" Elain asked, voice hard.

"'Why' what?" He murmured.

"Why do you torture people?"

She gave him a moment but he kept his back towards her and she let out a long sigh.

"It is to protect us." Elain said in a voice barely above a whisper. "Everything you do, it is to protect us and for that, and for so many other reasons, I am happy you are in my life."

She watched as his shoulders sagged.

"You don't know what you are saying. If you truly knew, you wouldn't want me in your life."

She saw him shake his head but still, he didn't turn to look at her.

"I know why the Cauldron blessed me."

Azriel turned to look at her then, surprise coloring his features. She had always flatly refused to talk about her time in the Cauldron, even to Nesta.

"It told me. The Cauldron said that it felt sorry for me. Do you have any idea what it is like to have the Cauldron, the object that created the universe, look at all that you are and pity your very existence? It saw every moment I had lived and knew every thought I ever had. It saw all of me and came back with nothing more than a naïve girl that deserved to be pitied. It gave me this new life so I could try again.

"When I was human, I spent so much of my life agonizing over the future. Would my father recover from his injuries? Was Feyre dead? Would Nesta ever marry a man who could keep her safe? The Cauldron made me a seer so I would no longer have to guess. It made sure I would know but I have found that knowledge is a curse. Do you know how many times I have seen you all die?"

She saw a muscle in his jaw flicker.

"I learned quickly that I can't help everyone, Azriel. I get to watch as my choices, my actions and inactions, hurt others. This weight is on my shoulders and I accept it so long as I can use it to keep you all safe."

Azriel opened his mouth but Elain plunged on.

"And then there is Lucien.”

Azriel’s eyes widened at this. They had never really talked about this. He had stood by her side when she announced her decision to break the bond, even stepping between her and Feyre when her sister urged her to ‘think it over’. But never had the two of them discussed why.

“When I was human, I loved a man who was wicked. I was blinded by his sweet words and noble title. The Cauldron knew he would never love me once I was made so it gave me Lucien. A male who would have not one but two claims to a throne. A good male of noble lineage who would one day allow me to be higher socially than I had ever imagined. A male who would love me beyond my wildest dreams, who would care for me and give me a life I couldn’t even begin to fathom. Being mated to him would allow me, simple Elain, to have a purpose and bridge the gap between Spring and Night. It would have allowed us to make an alliance that would be so strong that it would ensure peace amongst the courts even after we are all nothing more than dust."

She let out a small, humorless laugh.

"But you and I both know how that worked out. Turns out, I didn't actually want Lucien. I know how Feyre feels on the matter, even if she would never say it to my face now that the bond is broken. I know that everyone thinks I made a rash decision and that I didn't give him a chance."

She shook her head in sadness and frustration. "I knew exactly what I gave up when I rejected the bond. I don't want that life."

Azriel pushed himself off the dresser, moving purposefully towards her. Elain watched every movement with bated breath until he stopped before her.

"So what do you want now, Elain?"

Her eyes went hazy for a moment. When they cleared, she gave him a blinding smile at the future ahead.

"An equal."

#elriel #azriel x elain #elain x azriel #azriel #acotar #elain archeron #acowar #acofas #acomaf #acotar fic #elain and azriel #azriel and elain

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trickshxt · 5 years

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SHITTY AUs ABSOLUTELY NO ONE ASKED FOR

Pokemon AU

Barney and Clint grew up in a small, rural farming village outside of Azalea Town in the Johto Region. The two had a rough childhood and they often spent as much time away from home as possible. When an accident orphaned the two boys, rather than spend years in homes or orphanages they ran away to pursue any young child’s dream: become a Pokemon trainer.

While the boys did not, in fact, become instant Pokemon masters, they did find a home for awhile in the form of a traveling circus troupe. They learned archery, swordplay, and knife throwing from their mentors and made friends with the human and Pokemon performers alike.

The circus, however, was not all that it seemed. Jacques turned out to be a Team Rocket initiate. A fact that tore the brothers apart in disagreement over loyalty and where best to place it (and with who).

In the end, Barney followed Jacques. Becoming initiated into Team Rocket and slowly beginning his climb through the ranks. A brawler, improviser, and decent con man, Barney became a racketeer for a minor group and for awhile lived relatively happily.

Unfortunately, the assignments Barney was given became more and more dangerous. Dealing with far stranger aspects of the Pokemon world; including a sudden interest in information on Legendaries and something even more shadowy: Ultra Beasts...

As Barney rose through the ranks, he did indeed become a Pokemon trainer (of sorts), boasting an impressive team of a Houndour, a Sneasel, a Zoroark, a Salandit, a Murkrow, and a Sandslash. Yet as his own prowess grew, Barney began to realize just how little Team Rocket cared for the well being of people and Pokemon alike. Power, after all, did not care for the lives standing in the way. And as Barney watched town after town hurt, he realized just how his own contributions only added to the suffering.

One night, a top secret mission came through: a guard position for an excavation in a small, slightly populated, area of Alola’s Akala Island. Visiting Alola had ALWAYS been a dream of Barney’s, and though disillusioned with Team Rocket he took the job in part to finally get to go to his dream location. Upon arriving, however, Barney realized quickly just what kind of chaos Team Rocket was about to unleash and attempted to warn the local police.

Unfortunately, he was too late.

The excavation opened a portal through which several Nihilego came through. The result was chaos, destruction, and death. Try as he might, Barney could not save his teammates or the first responders or the Pokemon who tried so desperately to stop the attacks.

Tragedy struck deep. During the battle, Barney found himself merged with a Nihilego. He was freed by three of his own Pokemon, at the cost of their lives. Two more from Barney’s team died ensuring he reached safety.

Poisoned and scarred physically as well as psychologically, Barney only evaded arrest by the fact that the damage and death were so bad no one even knew he was alive. Left with only his faithful Houndour, Barney crawled away with a severe case of survivor’s guilt, PTSD, and a toxin that left him with bouts of weakness and a sensitivity to cold.

(Upon his connection to the Nihilego being ended, Barney died for four minutes. Barney knows he died, and remembers so constantly in his dreams.)

Currently, Barney drifts from town to town. (Can be in any region!) Working odd jobs to get by and trying to find direction in his life once more. Gruff and taciturn around people, Barney tends to isolate himself often and is still learning how to live a normal life.

He also actively avoids Team Rocket, as he is the sole survivor of the excavation and would be wanted not only for answers on what happened but also wanted for the fact an artifact went missing from the site and is currently unaccounted for...

IMPORTANT NOTES

At the height of his Team Rocket career, Barney's team of Pokemon was drastically different than his current team! Despite his brash attitude and cocky tendencies, Barney’s team was as loyal to him as he was to them. All of his Pokemon were from rough situations, given a second chance with him and treated well up until their deaths.

Barney won’t talk much about his old team to anyone but his Houndour (now a Houndoom). Their deaths still hurt and have made him reluctant to trust himself with another full team of Pokemon again.

That said, Barney currently has one Pokemon partner - Jericho - and two tag-a-longs: Comfey and Shaymin.

Comfey (called Poppy or Pip) found Barney a few months after the incident with the Nihilegos. Suffering physically and mentally, and grateful for the flower chain Barney braided for her to replace the one broken by a careless tourist, Comfey provides Barney some measure of relief on his worst days. In return, Barney gives Comfey shelter, companionship, and an abundance of flower chains.

You will likely rarely see Comfey as she is EXTREMELY shy. Occasionally, she will rest on Barney’s head when others are not around, but most often she sleeps around Barney’s neck under his coat. She trills when she’s excited and absolutely adores bees.

Shaymin (called Mori) never particularly meant to join Barney. The two met when Barney stumbled upon the Pokemon in the road, suffering from an accident that would cause it lose its left front leg. Distrustful of humans after that, nevertheless Barney helped nurse Mori back to health and also helped release it back to its native home. A year later, Barney stumbled upon the Mori once more by pure accident. Seeing how Barney was barely doing better, Mori decided to tag along to protect the one who helped them so long ago.

Mori rides in a modified pocket on Barney’s coat. They are feisty, ready to jump into a fight (even when there isn’t one), and is bold nearly to the point of reckless. Opinionated, if Mori doesn’t like someone they will absolutely know so!

Houndoom (Jericho) is nearly as covered in scars as his owner and as such is often a bit intimidating to those who don’t know him. In reality, he’s very sweet and particularly gentle with other troubled souls. Extremely loyal and protective over Barney, Jericho was Barney’s first partner and is the only original member of his team left. As such, they share a very special bond and Jericho acts as Barney’s service Pokemon (and confidante). You will almost NEVER see Jericho in his pokeball except in the most dire of emergencies.

BONUS

BONUS: Jericho (Barney’s Houndoom) was rescued from a bad situation. Trained as a former attack dog, Jericho has since softened considerably. (Though Barney does still have a scar from where he was bit in the calf on their first meeting!)

EXTRA BONUS: Barney still knows numerous Team Rocket members and secrets. He takes great care not to be seen by Team Rocket, as he’s not anxious to inform them he is defecting, and will go to great lengths to avoid places he knows the team is active in.

EXTRA EXTRA BONUS: Barney would love, more than anything in the world, to visit the Alolan region once more without tragedy. Sun, sand, and surf are true loves of his and he likes to think, in another life, he would have settled there.

EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA BONUS: Barney is journeying to Lavender Town in order to burn incense and properly pay tribute to his Pokemon partners of past...

VERSE TAG

v: our courage will pull us through — ( Pokemon AU )

ADDITIONAL HEADCANON

#[ para : professional garbage provider 2k19 ]#[ haha another verse suckers! ]#[ though I have to add a few tags here ]#death tw #[ cause it's sad :( ]#v: our courage will pull us through — ( Pokemon AU )

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theasatrucommunity · 6 years

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Gná and Hófvarpnir

Messenger, errand girl for Frigga, what sort of lowly job is that for a Goddess? Certainly, pray to her if you need a letter to arrive quickly and safely, an email to be read and given consideration, or a package to reach you unscathed. If you’re running late, needing to get somewhere on time quickly and safely, she can help you find the best path through traffic. All good things, but do you not also want your prayers heard? Do you need an understandable answers from your Gods and Goddesses, with good “signal clarity” and minimal interference from your ego? She rules communication, both mundane and divine, and that is no small matter! Certainly, the other Handmaidens command great powers in granting love and healing, success and safety, clarity and learning. Yet when you need someone to hear you, understand and respond meaningfully, she is best. If you want her to carry a message, hand write it, pray to her, make an offering and then burn it.

You could even call her Goddess of mediumship, as the practice is all about receiving and giving useful messages. In some traditions, a medium is said to be the “horse” a spirit rides to speak with and interact with mortals. Do you know how to tame, groom, and train such a horse, with the skills and stamina for the course she is to run, preparing her to tolerate a saddle without flinching or fear? Do you give her time to run out, stretching and warming her muscles first so there are no injuries during the ride? Can you soothe her so she won’t try bucking the rider off her back? Do you know how to brush away sweat, feed and care for the horse afterward so the experience is positive and becomes easier each time? Gná knows all there is to know about mounts, pets, animal companions and their needs.

She loves animals, knows their language, and can help you communicate and care for your pets. Hoof-Tosser is the companion she loves and cherishes above all, considering his advice throughout their adventures, though she loves all horses and everything to do with them. Cats, dogs, rats, mice, guinea pigs, all those we often treat as little humans in fur coats, whom we care for in exchange for companionship are also under her protection. Be warned that she will judge your worth and honor by how you deal with these, and will not take kindly to their neglect. Farm animals (such as goats, pigs, sheep and cows) raised for meat, milk and wool are under another’s protection, but if you start giving them names and considering them part of your family, they’re also Gná’s. She shares some knowledge of veterinary medicine with Eir, at least in the basics of animal health care, breeding and feeding. She also knows much about tending to spirit animals. Her second favorite animal is the mouse, one of which is her trusty dream steed for faring forth at night. Sometimes, it is best to be small and unnoticed, for finding information, in getting past defenses, and listening when no one sees you there. Burrowing creatures know ways into the worlds below and secrets unseen on the surface. Even the smallest and most humble of spirit animals have ways to help and lessons to teach.

Hoof-Tosser is an intelligent stallion who speaks mind-to-mind with her. He sometimes appears as a flat drum with crossbars (much like the Irish bodhran) in her hands, no longer having the ability to take his original humanoid shape. He can gallops on air as if it were solid ground but does not have wings. Hofvarpnir is far more ancient and wise than he appears, and moderates Gna’s impulsive nature with his counsel.

She is daughter to the East Wind — the breath of words — and an Alfar woman. As such, she has relations in Alheim, among the Sky Giants, control over the winds and skill with Alfar glamours. She also has connections with Hel-Maidens, Hela’s death messengers.

While she is a strong and independent woman, she always has a companion at her side to share ideas with. She is very sympathetic to those who suffer loneliness, isolation, and fear abandonment. If you’re stuck in such a place, unable to leave and utterly without friends, she will answer your call. Part of her role is being everyone’s friend, and she may take you in spirit to ride the skies with her.

Romantically, Gna prefers men but also enjoys feminine company. Most of these relationships have been brief affairs while on the road, but she has friends and lovers to return to in each of the Nine Worlds. Some of these relations are strained by her wandering ways.

Speed is her passion — no one wants a slow messenger! Talking to her on horseback is good, but skating, riding, driving, running, even a brisk walk, will help you achieve the speed you need to reach her. Some talk of elevating your vibrations to talk to spirits and Gods. She calls it speed. It’s in the Sufi’s ecstatic dancing, the mystic’s swaying, the shaman’s convulsions and in the runner’s high. It doesn’t matter how you like to achieve it, just get off your posterior and move! Start acting, putting things in motion, getting where you want to be. Even if you don’t know where that is, get moving anyway. You’ll find something just by going somewhere, anywhere. She can’t stay in one place long, cursed as she is with wanderlust, so go on a road trip adventure in her name. If you can’t run, drum. If you can’t drum, learn breath control. Get your heart pumping, your breath racing, and feel the rush of wind in your face. You think going around in circles is going nowhere? Sunna races through the sky each day as the earth races around the sun each year. We get back to the same place every Summer Solstice, yet everything has changed, including yourself. Should the Earth stop spinning and orbiting the sun, we would die. Motion is life, stillness is death. So if you need to fight inertia and get moving, let Gná inspire you. When you need to journey out of body or pathwalk, she can help shake you loose from this world… if you can reach the right speed to run up the World Tree.

Gna appear as a lithe athletic woman with a blonde braid and intense blue eyes. Though taller than most human women, she’s somewhat short for a goddess and may seem barely out of her teens. She often wears riding breeches, leather boots and a sky or royal blue gambeson coat (a diamond-quilted linen armor). While on official messenger goddess business, she wears a white tabard on top showing Frigga’s crest. On her belt may hang a small throwing axe, sometimes used to delay pursuers. She usually comes across as friendly, but may quickly becomes bored without something to do or places to go. When called on in matters of death, she may appear dressed in black, with the quilting done in silver rather than white thread and a short knife at her belt. One side of her may appear shorn off, with a braid on the other side.

#gna #norse #goddess #pantheon #patron #matron #handmaiden #frigga #frigg #aesir #message #package #letter #horse #fast #riding #heathen #pagan #paganism #asatru #tac #the asatru community

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rosemaidenvixen · 4 years

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You are my Sunshine

Chapter 9: Ten

Ao3

Barbara had to tiptoe to get the last sticky note on top of the ceiling fan. It was pretty far out of the way, but Jim had specifically told her he wanted it to be extra hard this year.

Right on time the doorbell rang, Barbara darted over to get the door. When she opened it Nancy Domzalski’s smiling face greeted her.

The elderly woman proffered up a large baking dish covered in foil “I made a casserole, I figured the boys could use something to balance out all that sugar,”

“Thanks, come on in, the bus will drop them off any minute,”

Nancy stepped inside and handed over the pan “Just turn on the oven and put the casserole in. No need to bother with preheating, it’s already fully cooked so it just needs warmed up,”

“Got it,”

Nancy got comfortable on the couch while Barbara went into the kitchen to pop the casserole in the oven. Right as she stood up from sliding the pan in, she saw the bus pull into the cul de sac through the window. Almost immediately after it came to a stop, a werewolf and a zombie jumped off and ran up to the door.

“Trick or treat!” the zombie shouted while letting himself in.

“That’s not til later Toby,” the werewolf corrected.

Nana pulled herself off the couch and greeted the two with a hug “Did you boys have fun at school today?”

“Yep,” Jim answered for both of them “Each class made a jack-o-lantern and did math with the seeds, then we had our Halloween party!”

“Check out our loot!” Toby said proudly while holding up a large plastic bag, practically bursting with candy.

“That’s quite a bit of candy, especially considering you went to the trunk or treat last Saturday,” Nana was clearly of the opinion that the amount of sweets had crossed the threshold into too much “Maybe you should donate some this year,”

The boys exchanged panic-stricken looks while protectively clutching their bags.

Seeing their horrified reactions to the thought of a few less Nougat Nummies drew a chuckle out of Barbara.

“It’s your candy boys, you can do what you want with it,” she joined them in the living room and held out a sticky note “Now why don’t you get started on the scavenger hunt,”

Jim gleefully snatched up the offered note “ Your next clue is hidden somewhere bread goes in, but doesn’t come out ,”

Toby’s face instantly lit up “I know, the toaster!”

And with that, they were off, racing eagerly from clue to clue while dragging Barbara and Nancy in toe. Twice Barbara had to make them stop so that poor Nancy could catch her breath from all the scurrying back and forth.

After what seemed like hours of going from note to note, but was probably closer to forty minutes, the boys found the final clue stuck on top of the ceiling fan.

Toby read it this time “ I’m cold and hot and warm, and I spin around and around ,”

They struggled with this one for longer than the others. After a few minutes of puzzling over it Jim gave her a beseeching look “Can we get a hint Mom?”

“Let’s see,” Barbara tapped her chin and made a show of thinking it over

“ Please Dr. Lake,”

“Ok,” she relented “The part that’s hot and cold and warm is water,”

It only took them a few seconds to put one and two together.

“The washing machine!” Toby cried out.

They made a mad dash to the basement door and sprinted down, taking the stairs two steps at a time.

“Slow down boys,” Barbara said while following them into the basement, albeit at a far more relaxed pace, with Nancy just a few steps behind her “It’s not going anywhere,”

The boys had already pried open the washing machine lid and pulled out their prize; a plastic cauldron containing DVDs of scary but age appropriate movies and full size candy bars.

“Awesomesauce!”

“This is the greatest!” Jim gushed “Thanks Mom,”

“Thank you Dr. Lake,” Toby parroted.

“You’re welcome,” Barbara gestured to the elderly woman behind her “Don’t forget to thank Nana, she got you the DVD’s,”

Toby and Jim dutifully recited their thanks to Nana before running upstairs, did they really have to do everything at a breakneck pace, to make simultaneous use of the candy bars and movies.

Barbara made to follow them, only to be stopped by a gentle hand on her shoulder. She turned to face Nancy, who looked troubled, but determined.

“Barbara, can we talk?”

A nest of butterflies burst to life in her stomach.

The melancholy look on Nancy’s face, waiting until the boys were gone, isolating the two of them in the basement. She had a feeling this was not going to be a light, casual conversation.

“Oh….ok,” she leaned back against the banister while Nancy took a seat on a box of old textbooks “What’s going on?”

Nancy let out a deep breath “I want you and Jim to go trick or treating with us this year,”

Barbara stood rooted to her spot, paralyzed by dread and desperate not to show it.

This was exactly the conversation she did not want to be having.

Nancy continued “I know how much you must want to keep Jim close to you, to keep him safe, especially after losing his father,”

Barbara opened her mouth to refute that statement only for the elderly woman to hold up a hand, effectively silencing her before she could get a word out “I know, you didn’t lose James the way I lost Ralph, but loss is loss,”

“Nancy….”

“Doing this by yourself is hard, and believe me, I understand the urge to hold him tight and keep him from ever being hurt,” she looked desperately into Barbara’s eyes “But being cloistered and protected from everything….that’s no way to live,”

Nancy’s next words cut her deeper than any knife ever could.

“So please, come with us tonight,”

Barbara couldn’t speak; throat closed off with emotion, she kept staring down at the basement floor as if it held all the answers to her problems. It took every last drop of her concentration to keep her facial expression and body language neutral. She wasn’t completely successful, the cool, wet sensation on her palm told her that fist had tightened to the point her fingernails had broken the skin.

If only she knew.

Sometimes Barbara almost managed to convince herself that Jim’s blue form existed in its own bubble, confined to regular hours with no impact on the rest of their lives. It was only when incidents like this happened that the ugly truth was forced back into her face.

Jim’s nightly metamorphosis sent out ripples that affected every aspect of their lives. Everything they did revolved around keeping his transformation a secret. These unusual routines did not go unnoticed. Others saw how they lived, and recognized it for what it was, abnormal.

Nancy wasn’t the first person to approach her about her supposed overprotectiveness of Jim. Hell, she wasn’t even the first person to imply that she did it due to baggage from her dearly departed ex-husband.

As much as it stung her pride, as much as Barbara yearned to scream that she hadn’t given that bastard a thought in years….it was too damn convenient.

If people assumed they knew the truth, that Barbara kept her son close due to abandonment issues from being left by James, they wouldn’t dig any deeper.

It made her burn with shame every time someone suggested it, but it was safer than the alternative. If she corrected them they might start looking into why exactly Barbara Lake never let her son out at night. And that could lead to someone finding out she left her ten year old home alone for hours on a regular basis. That would bring in social services and CPS investigations and police. And somewhere down that line, Jim’s blue form would be discovered.

And that would open up an even uglier can of worms.

Barbara raised her head, forcing herself to look Nancy in the eye.

It wasn’t that she mistrusted the elderly woman, far from it. Ever since Nancy had moved in across the cul de sac, she had been a constant source of comfort and companionship to Barbara. They shared a connection as two women who unexpectedly found themselves raising children without any other family to help. Barbara considered Nancy one of her closest and dearest friends.

But there were certain aspects of people that never came to light until they were put through trial by fire.

Barbara wanted so badly to believe that Nancy would continue to be the kind, generous woman that she was upon learning about Jim’s metamorphosis, but she couldn’t gamble his safety on the alternative.

She gave Nancy a small smile, hoping it didn’t look as forced as it felt

“Thank you for the offer, but my answer is no, Jim and I will be spending Halloween at home the way we always do,”

There was no explosion following her refusal, no debating or bargaining.

Nancy didn’t look sad or angry or even surprised; just disappointed, so very disappointed.

“Alright,” she said in a voice that was barely above a whisper “But maybe next year?,”

“Maybe next year,” Barbara replied, knowing full well her answer would be the same next October.

Deep down, she thought Nancy knew that to.

They trudged up the basement stairs in silence, emerging to the joyful noise of the boys wolfing down their candy bars over the sound of the DVD they had started.

In an effort to maintain a casual mood, Barbara went into the kitchen with Nancy to pull out the casserole. They managed to get the boys to each have a serving of the dish before they went straight back to gorging themselves on candy.

Meal complete, Nancy poured them two cups of tea and the two women started making idle conversation. It almost felt like one of the many casual evenings the Lakes and Domzalski’s spent together, almost.

A barrier had gone up between Barbara and Nancy, like a sheet of glass separating the two women. And as much as she wanted to remove it, Barbara knew that to take down the glass would be to risk her son’s life.

She kept one eye on the clock at all times, and soon enough, it was fifteen minutes to sundown and the credits were rolling on the boys’ movie. Time to send the Domzalski’s on their way.

Barbara stood up and went into the living room, picking up the remote to halt the scrolling credits “Alright guys, it’s been fun, but now it’s time to wrap things up for the night,”

Protesting only slightly, Jim and Toby gathered up the spoils from their school party and scavenger hunt and soon Barbara was escorting the Nancy and Toby to the front door.

“Thanks for coming over tonight, be sure to have fun trick-or-treating,”

“Happy Halloween Dr. Lake,” Toby gave a quick wave goodbye before dashing out onto the sidewalk, already eager to get a head start on his trick or treating.

Nana still lingered by the door, she placed her hand on the frame before Barbara could shut it “Come with us,” she begged “Both of you. Please.”

The only reason Barbara was able to keep her emotions in check in that moment was years of practice.

“Have a good night Nancy,” she shut the door, slowly but firmly.

She waited a few seconds, to make sure that they had walked away and weren’t still standing right outside, before sliding the deadbolt into place.

Barbara let out the breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. Another holiday over and done with no incident.

She didn’t know whether to be relieved that the song and dance was over, or dejected that that’s what holidays had become to them.

The sound of the Gun Robot theme song saved her from deciding. Jim had put on cartoons and was still tucking into his candy, no doubt to take his mind off the fact that he was going to spend the rest of Halloween alone. Figuring she was in need of a distraction herself, Barbara went into the kitchen to clean up the casserole dishes.

A few minutes later she heard Jim call out from the living room.

“Mom….I need help,”

Jim was fairly independent for his age, asking for help like this meant that he was really in a fix. Dropping what she was doing, Barbara went into the next room to see what the problem was.

Jim was still sitting on the couch in his werewolf costume, only now it didn’t appear to fit the way it should.

“Did you get stuck in your costume after you changed?”

“Uh huh,”

So that was the issue, Jim had transformed while he was still wearing his costume and now it he couldn’t get out of it on his own.

“Hold still honey, I’ll give you a hand,”

The shirt and gloves came off easy enough, but the straps of the mask had gotten tangled up in his horns. For a while she thought that she might have to cut them to get it off, but eventually she was able to detangle it.

Barbara took note of Jim’s horns as she smoothed his hair. The tops of them were peeking out of his hair now, and if she wasn’t mistaken they were starting to thicken and develop a slight curve as they grew.

At this point it was anyone’s guess what shape they’d be by the time Jim stopped growing

“All better kiddo?”

“....yeah….,” Jim replied while looking glumly down at his candy, now rendered inedible, effectively ending the holiday for him.

Or so he thought.

Barbara smirked “That’s good because I have one more surprise for you,” going over the closet, she reached in and pulled out a large gift bag.

“Here you go,”

Wide eyed, Jim tore into the bag and pulled out a pair of heavily used work boots. A jubilant smile spread across his face “Cool Mom, Thanks!”

In a move that surprised her, Jim reached around to the floor on the other side of the couch, picking up a ziploc bag full of butterscotch and Kit Kats, her personal favorites, and held it out in her direction.

“These are for you,”

Moved by his generosity, Barbara tried to graciously decline “Jim, that’s your Halloween candy--”

“And I can do what I want with it,” he continued holding out the bag, determined that she take it.

Barbara knew when she was beaten “Thank you Jim,” she accepted the bag “Do you want to start another movie?”

“Yuh huh,” he mumbled past the steel toe now wedged between his teeth “Ocus Pucus,”

Barbara popped the DVD into the player and sat back on the couch with Jim reflexively curling up against her side. She put an arm around his shoulders and gave Jim a gentle squeeze “Happy Halloween kiddo,”

The opening credits started to roll, Jim finished chewing and swallowed the steel toe of the boot, “Happy Halloween Mom,”

#rmvwrites #tales of arcadia #trollhunters #fanfic #you are my sunshine #jim lake jr #barbara lake #toby domzalski #nancy domzalski #nana domzalski

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inloveandwords · 5 years

Text

March is definitely going to be an interesting reading month for a couple of reasons.

First of all, I have SO many new books that I’ve been wanting to read for a really long time, and many of them are on this list.

But, most notably, I am participating in my second-ever readathon!

The Buzzword Readathon is hosted by Books and Lala and Chelsea Dolling Reads over on BookTube.

This is a super fun readathon where you are given a buzzword (or six in this case!) and you have to read as many books as you can that contain that buzzword. This month’s buzzwords are:

Who

What

Where

When

Why

How

You can find out more about it here.

In this reading list, however, I will not be going over my Buzzword Readathon books, I’ll be saving that for a separate post.

Instead, I’m just listing the books that I plan to read this month ASIDE from the books I choose for the readathon.

If you want more details about why I chose these books, check out the video here:

youtube

Otherwise you can find my reading list (along with the synopsis and links to Goodreads) below.

March Reading List

These are all books that I own and want to read this month! Titles link to Goodreads.

This Adventure Ends by Emma Mills

Sloane isn’t expecting to fall in with a group of friends when she moves from New York to Florida—especially not a group of friends so intense, so in love, so all-consuming. Yet that’s exactly what happens.

Sloane becomes closest to Vera, a social-media star who lights up any room, and Gabe, Vera’s twin brother and the most serious person Sloane’s ever met. When a beloved painting by the twins’ late mother goes missing, Sloane takes on the responsibility of tracking it down, a journey that takes her across state lines—and ever deeper into the twins’ lives.

Filled with intense and important friendships, a wonderful warts-and-all family, shiveringly good romantic developments, and sharp, witty dialogue, this story is about finding the people you never knew you needed.

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not. Within the black-and-white striped canvas tents is an utterly unique experience full of breathtaking amazements. It is called Le Cirque des Rêves, and it is only open at night.

But behind the scenes, a fierce competition is underway—a duel between two young magicians, Celia and Marco, who have been trained since childhood expressly for this purpose by their mercurial instructors. Unbeknownst to them, this is a game in which only one can be left standing, and the circus is but the stage for a remarkable battle of imagination and will. Despite themselves, however, Celia and Marco tumble headfirst into love—a deep, magical love that makes the lights flicker and the room grow warm whenever they so much as brush hands.

True love or not, the game must play out, and the fates of everyone involved, from the cast of extraordinary circus performers to the patrons, hang in the balance, suspended as precariously as the daring acrobats overhead.

Written in rich, seductive prose, this spell-casting novel is a feast for the senses and the heart.

Five Feet Apart by Rachael Lippincott

Can you love someone you can never touch?

Stella Grant likes to be in control—even though her totally out of control lungs have sent her in and out of the hospital most of her life. At this point, what Stella needs to control most is keeping herself away from anyone or anything that might pass along an infection and jeopardize the possibility of a lung transplant. Six feet apart. No exceptions.

The only thing Will Newman wants to be in control of is getting out of this hospital. He couldn’t care less about his treatments, or a fancy new clinical drug trial. Soon, he’ll turn eighteen and then he’ll be able to unplug all these machines and actually go see the world, not just its hospitals.

Will’s exactly what Stella needs to stay away from. If he so much as breathes on Stella she could lose her spot on the transplant list. Either one of them could die. The only way to stay alive is to stay apart. But suddenly six feet doesn’t feel like safety. It feels like punishment.

What if they could steal back just a little bit of the space their broken lungs have stolen from them? Would five feet apart really be so dangerous if it stops their hearts from breaking too?

Circe by Madeline Miller

In the house of Helios, god of the sun and mightiest of the Titans, a daughter is born. But Circe is a strange child—not powerful, like her father, nor viciously alluring like her mother. Turning to the world of mortals for companionship, she discovers that she does possess power—the power of witchcraft, which can transform rivals into monsters and menace the gods themselves.

Threatened, Zeus banishes her to a deserted island, where she hones her occult craft, tames wild beasts and crosses paths with many of the most famous figures in all of mythology, including the Minotaur, Daedalus and his doomed son Icarus, the murderous Medea, and, of course, wily Odysseus.

But there is danger, too, for a woman who stands alone, and Circe unwittingly draws the wrath of both men and gods, ultimately finding herself pitted against one of the most terrifying and vengeful of the Olympians. To protect what she loves most, Circe must summon all her strength and choose, once and for all, whether she belongs with the gods she is born from, or the mortals she has come to love.

Etiquette and Espionage (Finishing School #1) by Gail Carriger

It’s one thing to learn to curtsy properly. It’s quite another to learn to curtsy and throw a knife at the same time. Welcome to Finishing School.

Fourteen-year-old Sophronia is a great trial to her poor mother. Sophronia is more interested in dismantling clocks and climbing trees than proper manners–and the family can only hope that company never sees her atrocious curtsy. Mrs. Temminnick is desperate for her daughter to become a proper lady. So she enrolls Sophronia in Mademoiselle Geraldine’s Finishing Academy for Young Ladies of Quality.

But Sophronia soon realizes the school is not quite what her mother might have hoped. At Mademoiselle Geraldine’s, young ladies learn to finish…everything. Certainly, they learn the fine arts of dance, dress, and etiquette, but they also learn to deal out death, diversion, and espionage–in the politest possible ways, of course. Sophronia and her friends are in for a rousing first year’s education.

Stalking Jack the Ripper (Stalking Jack the Ripper #1) by Kerri Maniscalco

Presented by James Patterson’s new children’s imprint, this deliciously creepy horror novel has a storyline inspired by the Ripper murders and an unexpected, blood-chilling conclusion…

Seventeen-year-old Audrey Rose Wadsworth was born a lord’s daughter, with a life of wealth and privilege stretched out before her. But between the social teas and silk dress fittings, she leads a forbidden secret life.

Against her stern father’s wishes and society’s expectations, Audrey often slips away to her uncle’s laboratory to study the gruesome practice of forensic medicine. When her work on a string of savagely killed corpses drags Audrey into the investigation of a serial murderer, her search for answers brings her close to her own sheltered world.

The story’s shocking twists and turns, augmented with real, sinister period photos, will make this dazzling, #1 New York Times bestselling debut from author Kerri Maniscalco impossible to forget.

Truly Devious by Maureen Johnson

Author Maureen Johnson weaves a tale of murder and mystery in the first book of a new series.

Ellingham Academy is a famous private school in Vermont for the brightest thinkers, inventors, and artists. It was founded by Albert Ellingham, an early twentieth century tycoon, who wanted to make a wonderful place full of riddles, twisting pathways, and gardens. “A place” he said, “where learning is a game.”

Shortly after the school opened, his wife and daughter were kidnapped. The only real clue was a mocking riddle listing methods of murder, signed with the frightening pseudonym, Truly Devious. It became one of the great unsolved crimes of American history.

True-crime aficionado Stevie Bell is set to begin her first year at Ellingham Academy, and she has an ambitious plan: She will solve this cold case. That is, she will solve the case when she gets a grip on her demanding new school life and her housemates: the inventor, the novelist, the actor, the artist, and the jokester. But something strange is happening. Truly Devious makes a surprise return, and death revisits Ellingham Academy. The past has crawled out of its grave. Someone has gotten away with murder.

Vicious by VE Schwab

Victor and Eli started out as college roommates—brilliant, arrogant, lonely boys who recognized the same sharpness and ambition in each other. In their senior year, a shared research interest in adrenaline, near-death experiences, and seemingly supernatural events reveals an intriguing possibility: that under the right conditions, someone could develop extraordinary abilities. But when their thesis moves from the academic to the experimental, things go horribly wrong.

Ten years later, Victor breaks out of prison, determined to catch up to his old friend (now foe), aided by a young girl whose reserved nature obscures a stunning ability. Meanwhile, Eli is on a mission to eradicate every other super-powered person that he can find—aside from his sidekick, an enigmatic woman with an unbreakable will. Armed with terrible power on both sides, driven by the memory of betrayal and loss, the archnemeses have set a course for revenge—but who will be left alive at the end?

Sadie by Courtney Summers

A missing girl on a journey of revenge. A Serial―like podcast following the clues she’s left behind. And an ending you won’t be able to stop talking about.

Sadie hasn’t had an easy life. Growing up on her own, she’s been raising her sister Mattie in an isolated small town, trying her best to provide a normal life and keep their heads above water.

But when Mattie is found dead, Sadie’s entire world crumbles. After a somewhat botched police investigation, Sadie is determined to bring her sister’s killer to justice and hits the road following a few meager clues to find him.

When West McCray―a radio personality working on a segment about small, forgotten towns in America―overhears Sadie’s story at a local gas station, he becomes obsessed with finding the missing girl. He starts his own podcast as he tracks Sadie’s journey, trying to figure out what happened, hoping to find her before it’s too late.

Courtney Summers has written the breakout book of her career. Sadie is propulsive and harrowing and will keep you riveted until the last page.

Mud Vein by Tarryn Fisher

When reclusive novelist Senna Richards wakes up on her thirty-third birthday, everything has changed. Caged behind an electrical fence, locked in a house in the middle of the snow, Senna is left to decode the clues to find out why she was taken. If she wants her freedom, she has to take a close look at her past. But, her past has a heartbeat… and her kidnapper is nowhere to be found. With her survival hanging by a thread, Senna soon realizes this is a game. A dangerous one. Only the truth can set her free.

What are you reading this month?

Reading List: March 2019 + {New Video} March is definitely going to be an interesting reading month for a couple of reasons. First of all, I have SO many new books that I've been wanting to read for a really long time, and many of them are on this list.

#Reading List #TBR ASAP

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