Commissions!! DM on here or on Discord

I kind of understand why Yoosung and Jaehee aren't getting new CGs. I haven't played the new routes yet bc i dont have hourglasses, but I'm GUESSING that they're not as important in the story. I think cheritz is trying to get the Ray route as fast as they can bc some ppl were rlly disappointed when V's route was delayed...And it's a whole new route like 5 months after V's, so they probably couldn't work as much. But I love Jaehee and Yoosung with all my heart so I'm disappointed as well...

Yeah, that’s why I don’t necessarily expect them to have a ton of new cgs either. I did expect Yoosung to have more on V’s route, given how connected he is to Rika and the fact that he is fairly active in that route (confronting Rika’s parents, calling the cops on Rika at the end like V should have done in the first place lol but let’s not get into that here), but there may not be as much for him to do on Ray’s route. And Jaehee has always been pretty distant from V and Rika and the whole Mint Eye thing anyway. So like, I get it. I do.

BUT!!! Why the fuck does Zen get 5 new cgs?? What the fuck does he have to do with Ray?? Why would he need so many I know he takes a lot of selfies but it’s so unfair!! They could come up with 5 new cgs for Zen despite the fact that I’m 99.99% sure he won’t have a very active role in this route, and they couldn’t come up with more than one for Yoosung or even a single one for Jaehee?? Ffs even Seven only gets 2 and he’s Ray’s twin!!! Wtf is Zen doing with 5!! Who gave him the right!!!

So with that in mind it’s hard for me to be understanding of how few cgs Jaehee and Yoosung got this time around

Working on submissions.... (+ tips on how to NOT procrastinate)

If i were to describe myself in secondary school, i would say that i was a PROFESSIONAL procrastinator. I would leave my work and revisions till the last minute and regret and breakdown while doing what should have been done weeks ago at 3 am in the morning of the due date. Because of that i made a promise to myself to change in polytechnic so as to not live a miserable and sad life, trying to finish all my assignments...

The first term of poly life started and in the second week we were all bombarded by our assignments. At that time, i still thought that it was not that difficult so i was pretty chill that week.. then week 3 came.. oh.my. GOODNESS! The lecturers started their lessons and started talking about what to expect from our assignments and oh boy.. i was stressed out. So from the third week on, i slowly started on my assignments, mostly on visual communications (VC) because it was one of the modules i enjoyed more.. I had to create a typography poster and so that was pretty fun! 

And as the weeks go by, we started to submit our assignments for Storytelling, followed by VC and then had our interviews for Critical and Analytical Thinking (CAT). The more “troublesome�� i would say assignments would be the Qualitative Research (QLR) where we had to write transcripts.. don’t get me started on transcripts.. if you’d like to know more about them, the blog right before mine would give you a rough idea of it.... Besides those, we also have the Writing across Media Platforms (WMP) module and the Branding Fundamental (BF) modules. These three modules, QLR, WMP AND BF are the three that we all probably have a lot of troubles with.. Why? Because it requires a lot of what people like to call our “brain juices”. 

So now that you have a rough idea of what our modules are, here are some of the ways I do my work so as to not end up procrastinating.

1. Draw up a time table. I actually have a timetable to remind me which assignments i have to prioritise. This helps me give an overview of all the submission dates, so i would not need to start panicking and go on blackboard to find it. occasionally i’d get paranoid as to if i had written it correctly so i’d text my friends to confirm

2. Write down all the tasks you have to do for each individual assignments. This REALLY helps you keep track on what you have and what you have not done for your work, and helps you plan when you should start on a task!

3. Go for it! Don’t listen to the voice that whispers “you still have time”. 99.99% of the time, you DONT have that much time and you should really get started. Once you’ve kicked that voice out of your head, you’ll find yourself getting started on your work easily!

4. extra tip! This is not really a tip but more of a motivation. If you pace your work out well, you won’t have to feel that panic in your chest as you get closer and closer to the due date! And once you are done, you’d have plenty of time to change certain parts of your assignments! 

Hope this helps and all the best with NOT procrastinating!

get to know me

Rules: Tag 20 followers you’d like to get to know better

Tagging (of course, only if you want!!): @achenlove @gyeommine @kim-jonginism @marksmushroomhair  I see a lovely bunch of you in my activity and others I’d just thought I’d reach out to :D!!

I was tagged by the lovely @jieqs thank you bub! 

Nicknames: ela if u want really whatever you want. 

Gender: Female

Star Sign: leo and proud

Height: 5′7 i think it’s probably 170cm i dont know...

Sexuality: Hmm well I never really had any experience dating anybody lol though im 99.99% sure i would say 100% that im straight

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

Favorite Animal: Wolves definitely but i also love falcons

Average amount of hours spent sleeping:  Around 6-8? i dont really like sleeping

Dogs or Cats: dooooogs but i dont mind cats

Number of blankets I sleep with: um 2? i have no idea haha but i hate the darkness

Dream Trip: Hmmm?? the world i just want to see the world

Dream Job: Yikes I don’t even know…i really want to do something with science like genetics but i would looovvee to go to space

When I made this account: I made this account somewhere this year, but yeah i have no idea. 

Why I made this account: I wanted to do something with this blog ( clearly thats not working lol ) i want to make ppl happy but i did make a writing one @lty-kjd-jjk yay self-promo i haven't been very active bc of school but im trying

# of followers: As of right now 36! I don’t expect a lot. but im happy with what i have :) 

BSD ASK--Atsushi Nakajima, Edogawa Ranpo, Kenji Miyazawa, Naomi Tanizaki, Kyouka Izumi, Chuuya Nakahara, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Edgar Allan Poe, and Fyodor Dostoevksy. I dont watch bsd bc I followed u like 3 months ago when u were in ur mp100 craze so i actually have no idea who any of these people are

I wasn’t expecting to get any asks at all. :^) Thank you!!!

Ah, yes, my Mob Psycho 100 craze, where I reblogged so much in a week it topped my ‘posts a lot about’ list despite being in the OnS fandom WAY longer.

I have like 3 of these to do because I couldn’t do any of this last night because I was too lazy to answer them all on my phone. Now I have a computer. HURRAH!

Atsushi Nakajima–What is your favorite animal?

Wolves, most definitely. They’re super cool???? Yeah

Edogawa Ranpo–What do you want people to praise you for?

My effort that I put into things lol. I did a movie trailer project at school where it was groups of five and we all wrote scripts and had to choose one, and they voted mine because they liked it a lot!! Then I had to draw all the storyboards and edit the movie trailer….I even went to my dad’s house for a few extra days to draw the storyboards on my tablet and I downloaded a music program to make background music….

And then nobody really said anything about me doing 99% of the project. The most everyone else did was supply voices for the characters (which I appreciate!!) But it’d be nice to be praised every once in a while. I used to be praised a lot when I was a kid but now my parents just call me a retard////

Kenji Miyzawa–What makes you happy?

Uh,,,, probably being by myself??? Maybe. Talking to my friends in our group chat, @kittymagicite and @hey-im-loz . Also, irl, talking to my best friend @iamasharkgirl . @shizzfizzjizz is pretty cool to hang out with too. I guess writing makes me happy too.

Naomi Tanizaki–Are you an affectionate person?

 Depends. I’ll shower you in words–you’re great!!! Amazing!!!! I love you and you’re wonderful!!!!

Will I hug you? FUCK NO. Don’t come close to me. I will not be able to handle it. I physically cannot handle hugging 99.99% of people. It scares me and I feel threatened.

Kyouka Izumi–What is your favorite dessert?

Suicide brownies. A layer of cookie dough on the bottom, brownies in the middle, topped with Oreos. Is it diabetes? Yes. Yes it is. But it’s great.

Chuuya Nakahara–Do you have a special clothing accessory?

Does a necklace count? Because I have a dog tag with Eren from SnK on it that i bought 2 years ago and only still wear it to spite my mom. Also, I have a RWBY wristband and a “HEY ASSBUTT” wristband.

F. Scott Fitzgerald–What do you want that money can’t buy?

Actual good parents.

Edgar Allan Poe–Are you anxious or shy around people?

Depends. If I’m with someone I know, I’ll probably be willing to talk. If someone is too close to me that I feel threatened, I’ll be anxious. 

Fyodor Dostoevsky–Can you play an instrument?

I’m an amazing triangle player. Ting ting ting a ting bitches.

Me: "What I do with my relationships is not a burden you need to bare. It is no ones but my own. Although I love that you care about me to do it without asking, I don't wish you to invest yourself in me in a way that hurts you.

I talk with others about my social problems because I need to reflect off others that I am responding appropriately, not for them to actually go out of their way to help me. I seek understanding and emotional guidance more than physical direction. More akin to "I understand that you are upset, I would be as well. You dont deserve that/you reacted inappropriately" rather than "get rid of him/ your better off not doing this/ if you want to be happy you need to do this" But no matter what if someone is to provide me with advice I dont just throw it out, I mull over it. But I mull over it until I am ready to act on it. I have been considering getting rid of Ryan for months. And I know it is the right thing to do. But the fact of the matter is I'm not ready yet and that's a decision I need to make, not someone else's. I work at a slower pace than others when it comes to understanding. I always have. My need to understand isnt an external one, its internal. I dont need to know where the other person is coming from in negative relationships. The things I need to understand are "Once I get rid of ryan how much do I want to avoid him? How would I even go about doing it? Around how long will it take for me to feel okay? Am I emotionally stable enough to go through with this action?" And honestly losing William then directly having to deal with ryan and now how much stress I am under currently, I know if I threw things away with him right now it could be alot worse than if I waited for when I was better.

I know you arent the type to let your emotions out unless you need to. On the other side I have also never been one to pry because I see it as disrespectful. I am very upfront and forward with my emotions because I have had too many friendships end because someone wouldnt communicate with me. So I compensated by drowing them in my own feelings hoping it would encourage them to open up as well. It doesn't always work but I have honestly had difficulty finding another way to do it when I can't understand social queues.

I dont look people in the eye unless I am completly at ease or I'm in a job interview. I didnt know Nick's eye color until 11th grade despite knowing him since kindergarten, and that's only because people were talking about it. My tone of voice comes out wrong almost all the time. And with that so do my words, though I have gotten better with those in the written form. I have been told numerous times that my tone of voice is disrespectful or makes me appear to others as angry. When in reality it usually starts to happen because I'm not paying EXTREME attention to it. If it helps, I have been told that my facial expressions tend to express what I'm really trying to convey. I'm obsessive, very prone to addiction. I am either rigid or I am tapping or doing some sort of thing to make noise. I dont relax fully around people, physically or mentally.

Not often will acknowledgment of my actions lead me to being upset. If you can be upfront and say "macy, the way you said that hurt my feelings" I will 100% add it to my list of things I shouldnt do. Because the only reason I have gotten this far in life is from people telling me. I don't catch on to things. I cant read a room very well. I can't do a lot of things involving interaction properly. I can tell you I am trying to get better at it, but it's one of those things that I need told to me because I HONESTLY cannot tell. Every social interaction I'm in is a guess unless I have been through the same exact conversation a million times.

I'm not saying this to try and guilt you or anything bad like that. I just came to the realization that I don't think I ever told you about it. This has been a serious work in progress my entire life and it's not just you who has had to deal with it. I'm 99.99% sure it's the actual the reason all of my friends from high school dont speak with me anymore.

It probably isnt anything that will help my case, but this is honestly the best I have ever been with communication. And that's probably partially why it is only coming up now. I used to be a lot worse. I make people upset and can't tell. I constantly am freaking out over people because I'm scared everytime I talk to someone I'm messing up. And when I become closer with someone I start to relax around them and it becomes an issue again.

You are under no obligation to have to adhere to these issues I have. But for a good friendship with me they do need to be taken into consideration. Because it's not something that will go away once I "find myself" or whatever. There is no medication that makes this better, there is no growing out of it, it is constant hard work for me every day to make sure I'm using the "right" words or whatever else is being taken into consideration at the time. If you think it would be easier for you, you can give me signs that you are retreating or something of the like if you are comfortable disclosing that to me. It wouldn't be just you, I want to work to have a better communication style with you.

I never want my friends to feel uncomfortable or upset because of something I've done or said. I care very deeply about people. More than I have ever shown any of you. And I know it's bad of me, but I am trying really really hard to get to the point where I can genuinely express it. It took me a year and a half of being at college to actually feel like the people around me were my actual friends. And only in the past year have I truly believed that they loved me back. I have been trying to express it more since then, but it's difficult.

To express my love I try to tell people. I take photos and videos of my friends because I want them to know I want to remember them. I try to match their emotions that they are telling me about so they wont be alone in them. When my friend Wanda told me she appreciated written word I wrote her a few letters. It took a few months but me and lydia struggled with it a lot. But we are now at a great place, when she is upset I give her space until she wants to talk and then I physically comfort her. She knows when I'm upset I hate being touched and I just want to run the course of my emotions to let myself fully feel it before I'm calm. This usually includes ranting, not speaking at all about it, or just crying a lot.

For us both to feel comfortable in a friendship together you need to communicate with me. No maybe, you NEED to. Otherwise your emotions will boil over and it will all feel over whelming and there will be nothing I can do about it. I would like to work on it with you. It took a little while but me and lydia worked through much much worse than this and now she is one of my closest friends.

You told me not long ago that I was one of your best friends, and I told you that you were one of mine. I honestly don't think a rough patch of communication during a pandemic is unheard of. But if you are willing to open yourself to me now with your honesty as you have, I hope you can continue doing so at more regular intervals. Possibly check once a week if there is something we have done that has bothered the other and we can address it in a stress free environment. If it is more regulated and expected I feel it might possibly limit the amount of stress you feel addressing it, and I can limit the amount of stress I put you under by springing my emotions constantly which I know can be overwhelming to others.

I know I am intense, it is the word I get most often attributed to me. But it's because I am a very focused person, just not always on the right thing. I get completely absorbed into people, into staring at a spot on the wall for 20 minutes, those stupid slot machines at my senior prom that made me realize I should never go to a casino, or most often just on what is happening inside my own head. It's never ill intended, it's just the way I have always been and how my mind works. I hope you can understand."

Me: I just really hope this isn't one of the last things I say to them. Probably one of my most disliked things is to bare my soul for nothing. Stuff like this is why I hardly ever fight for people. Because they are probably better off anyways. I hate... I hate that I am like this. I'm so exhausted, all the time. I just want it to stop.